THE DISCLAIMER:
Known to very _very_ few, I created the Tenchi series. Yes, it was           
    s
all me. I'm the reason we have the whole mythos and the author chose
to write about it. Most people think that just because all the characters
are owned and copyrighted by other people, the characters belong to them.
Well... wait... hey, they're right! I DIDN'T create any of the series des-
cribed in the following MST! Absolutely NONE of the anime belongs to me!
This... this is mind-blowing! Holy hamdingers, I could be sued if I said
these charcters were mine! And this is anime... Oh God, that means I'll get
attacked by super-ultra-powerful corporate ninja lawyers! They'll attack
me with blade-rimmed copyright infringements and lock me up in their super
hi tech space station and put me under the supervision of ultra-powerful
Saya-jin samurai! So, suffice it to say, I own naught. This is nonprofit.
I am making no money and am broke. Instead of going out and making money,
I wrote this fic. Go figure.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
(Sasami Lemon readers.)

	Ah, the future. From the dawn of time, man has attempted to distinguish it
from the "past" and "present", but the "line" widens perpetually. 
Thermodynamics
be damned, time knew not the meaning of "I have a lifespan of eighty, so 
could
you slow down, please?", and had long ago decided not to stop for the 
mortals
whose intelligence was its grandest creation. It didn't actually put things 
in
this context, of course, but that's beside the point. It's progress is 
either a:
too fast to track or b: too slow to notice, so, to put all this techtalk in
perspective, we're in the Not-Too Distant Future. Got all that?

	In case nobody has been told, in this particular future, the world has
changed very little with even littler advances. Most notably, the ISS is a
veritable research centre and anime has finally become mainstream. Pay 
attention
now, because this gets very complicated really fast.

	Not one to break with tradition, the global superpowers are doing as well
as they always have. They just needed a quick solution to their rapidly
dwindling prosperity, is all. So, some young upstarts have received a great 
deal
of publicity for appealing to the taxpayers at large, and, of course, you 
know
that translates to another term in office. Except for the Tom Green
administration, but we just aren't into him yet.

	As for the young upstarts, they are the superstars of the day. Mostly
because nobody called anybody a superstar for more than a week. They are the
brightest minds with the brightest ideas, which translates into an 
absolutely
_brilliant_ reputation. They are the leading researchers of the Aniverse.

	This gets technical. To simplify, I'll tell you this. People here are 
smart.
Very smart. So smart in fact, that they were able to spot the similarities 
between
their favorite anime and the day-to-day "non-anime" in which they actually 
lived.
Well, what started out as a pretty kooky idea... stayed that way for a 
while.
Until one young man, a man with a bright idea and a little more than his 
share of
free time (and anime) heard someone suggest such a concept in the school 
cafeteria.
All of a sudden, a little anime lightbulb came on with a *click*. "I've got 
it!"
he exclaimed. "The reality as we know it is nothing more than the 
compilation of
various anime shows that have nothing to do with anything we normally 
encounter!"
Such was his genius. Well, needless to say, this quirky new theory was 
completely
accepted in the scientific community and the populace at large.

	"Aniverse" became the new term among scientists to describe the 
now-obsolete
"Universe". And this guy was the leading researcher in that field. None 
could
measure up to his level of genius. Hell, give him a short length of hose and 
a DVD
of his favorite "Ranma 1/2" episode and he'd be able to explain the link. 
This
later became known as the Ranma Hose Operation. Many more like experiments
followed with this guy winning every award and gaining as much publicity as 
he
possibly could.

Then, he decided to take the Aniverse one step further.

	Well, maybe that last paragraph was an exaggeration. Not everybody accepted
the Aniverse theory. As a matter of fact... there were many, many, _many_ 
skeptics
that formed theories that rivaled this guys's credibility. And the populace 
at
large accepted this. So clear were their theories that they didn't need any
technical jargon to explain it. So, of course, the Aniverse guy was dead 
wrong.
Well, his genius saw him through. He decided to build his greatest 
invention. The
crescendo of his scientific career. It took him a little while, but 
conditions
seemed just right for his invention to take form. Hey, maybe there was 
something to
this whole "natural selection" thing, after all!

	This device was a device indeed. A highly complicated device, at that. At 
one
point, the Aniverse guy knew how it worked, but let's face it, geniuses are 
sloppy.
This device was the device that would revolutionize the Aniverse theory. It 
would
prove all of the Aniverse guy's theories. How it does this was... technical, 
but
this is the Aniverse we're talking about. The guy was right and he knew it.

	Now, in order to get the device to work properly, it needed a name. 
Naturally,
the guy wanted it to be named after him. In case you were wondering, this 
guy had a
name at one point. Not a very spectacular name, but a name given to him by 
his
mother. A mother that had big plans for him. So, naturally, when she got 
wind of his
anime habit and proceeded to look in his room, she was not pleased that he 
was
dipping into his college fund on a regular basis. Things really got sticky 
when she
noticed a few... odd-sounding titles. So, the guy needed a code name. 
Perhaps it was
genius, perhaps fate, perhaps his @$$ was on the plate, but after much 
thinking, he
decided he'd call himself "Twister". Mr. Twister. So, the device became 
known as
"Twister's Omni-Lateral Portal" or the T.O.L.P. device, for short. If it 
could be
fed the required input, it could cross over any of the Aniverse's different
realities. After all, the realities were separated only by the most fragile 
barrier
that our scientific community has yet to define: The "Fourth Wall".

	Twister had fellow researchers that supported his plan and he knew this. 
All
he had to do was mount the device on the ISS and test it out. Not a very 
complex
plan, he just had to attach it somewhere. The reason for the ISS being that 
there
was no anime to speak of on board.  At least, that's what he was told by his
adversaries, who seemed more enthusiastic about this idea than he'd 
expected. So,
Twister planned and built a ship. A ship without peer or predecessor. A ship 
that
contained all the conveniences he'd need as well as the features attributed 
to
space craft that everybody else used. Well, he added a movie theater, a 
fridge, and
the list goes on! The only thing he didn't add was the ship's AI that 
controlled
the ship, leaving him free to experience all this luxury, for the most part. 
He had
final say on everything, but the AI carried it out. This AI was called the 
SAL9001.
SAL for it's creator, whose first name was Sally. An old compadre of 
Twister.
Twister himself, being the ship's Captain, became known to most as Captain 
Twister,
or simply "Cap". Or Twister... Whatever.

	Anyway, seeing as how he came up with the idea, he felt the responsibiltity 
to
test it out himself. Alone, except for the SAL9001 (whom he refers to as 
Sal).
Packing all he thought he'd need, he bid a fond farewell to all that came to 
see him
off, and set out for the ISS on "The Hamdinger", named after the foodstuff 
that was
his main means of sustenance.

And so the lunacy begins...

later. Right now, we've got to explain how he screwed it up.

************************************************
THE HAMDINGER CREW MSTS- PROLOGUE

WHEN A BRAIN IS INSANE, WE NEED A SUPER GENIUS!!
************************************************
	The Hamdinger had been out in space for a while, now. Apart for the 
occasional
preempted anime or misplaced manga, there was nothing onboard that was 
significantly
out of place.

	"Captain? Captain? Captain, where are you?"

Which meant that the Captain's chair was vacant.

	"Captain." the SAL9001 exclaimed in its monotous, emotionless digitized 
way.
"The rendezvous point with the International Space Station will be hailing 
us within
25 minutes. Under the mission guidlines, you are required to respond or 
relinquish
command."

	Apparently, however, there were other matters deserving of the ani-hero's
attentions that required even more poise and competance than a formal 
transmission. He
was in another part of the ship, specifically the lounge. Spacious would be 
the first
thought to describe it, as well as well-decorated. Several couches and 
coffee tables
were spread out over the blue carpet floor, and the far wall was completely 
transparent,
offering a truly beautiful view of the starry expanse beyond the hull. A 
large,
flat-screen television set sat in a corner and was flanked by a pair of 
synthetic
tropical plants. The walls were a cool pink and lit up by a light that 
seemed to cast
no shadow, whatsoever. As well as being the nucleus of the ship's gangways 
and the point
of entry to the ship's theater, it also had a small bar set up in the far 
corner. The
small fridge, which housed the excess rations (snacks) was open, and its 
contents in the
process of being completely rearranged.  Cap, if you prefer to call him 
that, was in the
process of recharging his biomechanical energy reserves. Unsuccessfully, for 
the most
part.

	"Now," he muttered, "I'm almost completely sure I put them behind the 
mustard...
but that might have been a dream I had... or I could be thinking about the 
sauerkraut...
or the beets..."

Needless to say, genius needs a well-balanced diet.

	"Saaalll..." he whined to (seemingly) no one in particular.

	The television set in the corner suddenly displayed a white sound line that
indicated the presence of the AI in question.

	"Yes, Captain?"

	"Do you know if we can spare any more Hamdingers?" he asked.

	It took a minute to register, but Sal registered Captain Twister's request 
as being
non-related to her previous cautions. After running a rations scan, she 
provided the
requested information. "Negative, Captain. Ration "Hamdingers" is in frozen 
stasis and
unsuitable for mastication."

	"...Okay." said Cap, closing the fridge with a look of slight 
disappointment.
"So, Sal, what's up for today? Any calls?"

	"Negative, Captain." replied Sal.

	"Any ration shortages?"

	"All required rations accounted for."

	"So, do we have anything that I could do? Personally?" he asked. As usual, 
he was
as well-meaning as he possibly could be. "She" wasn't programmed to 
recognize human
qualities such as humor or dignity, but Twister was always polite and good 
humored,
regardless. He felt a sort of kinship with her, just as with anything else 
he'd had a
hand in creating. "No offense or anything, but I haven't had much to do 
besides watch
anime and read a lot. Not that I don't like that stuff or anything, but if 
you need help
with something..."

	Sal had heard this before and had registered it as a request for a status 
report.
"All systems, rations, and media accounted for, Captain." she repiled after 
running a
complete scan of all... well, systems, rations and media.

	Cap was disappointed for a minute, but Sal's mention of "media" resurfaced 
a
question plaguing him for some time.

	"Hey Sal, speaking of media, I haven't been able to find some..." he 
paused,
looking for just the right words. "...uh... _literature_ from my collection. 
I haven't
dumped anything out the airlock in a while and I can't find them anywhere."

	Sal performed a full scan of the ship and came up with a response.

	"Graphic Novel entitled 'Secret Plot' located on lavatory floor."

	Cap was gone from the room in an instant and back in an instant, stuffing 
the manga
in question into the front of his windbreaker. He always wore it for some 
reason, the
reason still up in the air.

	"Graphic Novel entitled 'Co-Ed Affairs' located in... your quarters, 
Captain."
Sal reported.

	Cap did that "instant" thing again, this time stuffing it into the back of 
his
khakis, of which he had multiple pairs. "Um... anything else?" he asked, 
somewhat
hesitantly.

	"Graphic Novel entitled 'Bondage Queen Ka-'"

	"Okay, I'll pick it up later." Cap hastily replied.

	"Captain," said Sal. "the rendezvous point with Alpha dock will be reached 
in 25
minutes. Under mission guidelines-"

	"Holy shnikies, I forgot!" Cap remembered.

	Cap hurried over to the coffee table in the corner of the TV area, on which 
was
situated a plaster bust of William Shatner. Removing the head, he pushed the 
secret red
button. All of a sudden, a transparent tube dropped down from the ceiling, 
labelled
"Cap".

	"This one goes to the bridge, right?" he asked Sal.

	"Yes, Captain".

	Seeing as he was in a hurry, Cap didn't need to be told twice.

*********************************************************************************
(The Universe as the less-informed see it)

Cap exited the tube now dressed in formal black pants, a grey tunic, black 
boots, and a
flowing black cape.

(Narrator blinks and checks the last couple of parts very carefully.)

...

Moving on...

	The bridge of the ship is rather spacious as well. Cap is seemingly facing 
off into
space, adjusting various parts of his uniform. After he was satisfied, he 
gave the order
for Sal to patch him through to his contemporary on the space station. A 
transculent
window appeared in front of him, displaying a goateed, heavyset man in his 
mid to late
forties, wearing a red and yellow spacesuit.

	"This is Colonel Vladimir Tblievsky, respondink to message from 
spacecravt...
Humdinger?!" he exclaimed in a thick Moscow accent, looking up to face 
Twister.
"Captan Tvister! So goot to see you vonce again, my friend! You haff had 
pleasant
jurney, I take it?" he asked, clearly happy to see Cap vonce... once again.

	Cap smiled. "You mean apart from the AI _malfunctioning_ and plotting... 
_mutiny_,
Vlad?" Cap replied, barely able to supress a snicker.

	Vlad blinked. "Er... yez, Captan... apart from ze... AI, dit you zay?"

	"Yup!" Cap replied, still smiling. "Her name is Sal, and she's my friend!"

	Vlad sweatdropped. "Jaaa... okay. And, er... vere is zis... 'Zal'?"

	"Up there." Cap smiled, pointing at the roof.

	"..." Vlad responded. "I see... and do you haff ze... er, Tolp devize?" he 
asked,
wanting very much to learn of its present status.

	Cap "mmhmmed" and nodded rather competently. "I have it right here!"

Cap rolled up the sleeve of his tunic to reveal the top secret mega project 
in
question. It was black, the length of his forearm, and composed of many 
shining lights
and buttons, none of which were labelled.

	"And, do you haff ze seqvenzes memorized?" Vlad asked.

	Cap tapped his head with his index finger, indicating that he had.

	"Oh, and Vlad?" Cap asked. "I brought you these." Cap held up a bag of 
nice,
fresh pretzels.

	Vlad's mouth watered as he recognized them as his favorite kind. The nice, 
fresh
kind. Not hard and crumbly like the other kind.

	"In exchange for..." Cap continued.

	"Bot, I havunt finished it, yet!" Vlad interrupted.

	Cap continud to stare at Vlad, tapping his thumbs impatiently on the 
control
panel.

	Vlad alternated between looking at the pretzels and somewhere offscreen.
Finally, he sighed and brought Cap's Slayers TV DVD box set into view.

	"Okeh, you vin." he sighed. "You are clear to dock at at Alva. Dond scroo
this up, Captan. I know a vew.. individuals who vould pounce on you like 
volves on
hamster if ze devize vont vork."

	"Alright! We're heading towards the rendezvous point AS FAST AS THE TWISTER
TURBO THRUSTERS CAN GOOOOOO!" Cap exclaimed, speed lines and pointed Index 
Finger
of Science included.

	"... Okay." Vlad replied, signing off. Once the image of the Hamdinger's
bridge disappeared, he sighed, wiped his brow, and took out a bottle of 
vodka.  He
held up the bottle and regarded it. "Perhaps it's..." (he turns to look at 
an
imaginary audience)"something in his brew." He procceeded to take a big 
drink.

**********************************************************************************
Meanwhile, back on the Hamdinger...

Cap had started entering the signoff sequence a bit before Vlad had.

The Tolp device also gave Cap control over many of the ship's functions, if 
he
so chose.

Control of functions that were best left to Sal, specifically.

	"Transmission sent." Sal announced.

Cap didn't really know what was meant by that, but shrugged it off and made 
a note
to ask the human Sal when he got back.

And now, for a new page break.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Creativity notwithstanding.

Meanwhile, returning to Earth from a long day of preserving the peace and 
being top
of her class, Detective First Class Mihoshi Kuramitsu was looking forward to
kicking back, hot saki, and a good... long... soak in the onsen.

And Tenchi Masaki. As was always the case, thinking of him and the onsen at 
the
same time brought a shade of redness to her face and a fit of giggles to her 
throat.

	"Mihoshi."

	Oh, she was so embarrassed!

	"Mihoshi!"

	She was REALLY embarrassed!

	"MIHOSHI!" Yukinojo exclaimed, his tolerance circuits pushed to the limit.

	"... Yes?" said Mihoshi.

	Yukinojo sighed. "I have just received a transmission from a ship very 
close
to Earth. As there seems to be no evidence of a relay, you are obliged to 
acknowledge."

	"But... but Earth's not supposed to have ships like that, yet..." Mihoshi 
thought,
obviously confused.

	"I know, Mihoshi, but the signal is coming from a ship of Earth origin and 
seems
to be able to hail a small vessel like this at the very least!" Yukinojo 
explained.
"I can't get video feed and the transmission is very garbled, but you are 
required to
respond."

	"Well... if he took the time to hail us, then he's probably not a criminal,
is he?" Mihoshi considered.

	"Well... no..." thought Yukinojo. "But, even if he was, you are required to
respond."

	Mihoshi blinked. "Oh... well, I should play the message, then, right?"

	Yukinojo sweatdropped. "Yes, ma'am."

This was how the message went:

*garblegarblekkssssssssssssshhhhhh* Humdinger! *kkkkkssssssssssssshhhhh* 
Captan
Tvister! *buzzz* AI *zap* malfunctioning *kkksssssshhhzap* mutiny
*gabgabgabledegab* Sal *zzzzzzzzzzzoooooooorrrtttttttt* Finished! *kkk
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbeep!*

Silence...

	"Mihoshi?" asked Yukinojo.

Mihoshi sat stock still, her expresion unreadable.

	"Um... Mihoshi?"

Not even a blink. This IS serious!

	"Mihoshi..."

Mihoshi slammed her hands down on the armrests of her chair, and stood up 
with a
most determined look on her face.

	"Yukinojo... the very first Earth spaceship capable of super interstellar
communication has fallen victim to an artificial intelligence unit gone over 
to the
path of evil! Under the Juraian Space Act of calendar year 450, that kind of
activity is liable to criminal prosecution, and as an officer of the Galaxy
Police, I am  obligated to attempt to rescue the crew and bring the 
defective unit
to justice!" Mihoshi announced.

	"... actually, I'm very sure you're suposed to take it in for repairs, 
Mihoshi."
replied Yukinojo.

	"Oh... well, I guess I'll do that, then...." Mihoshi said, blinking a 
couple of
times.

	"And," said Yukinojo, "I'm also very sure you're supposed to request that 
he
_repeat_ the message?"

	Mihoshi shook her head. "There's no time! That poor Captain is a prisoner 
held
against his will, being forced to commit unspeakable acts at the whim of his 
faulty
AI..." Mihoshi resumed her motivational look, "and I'm going to rescue him 
before he
gets hurt!"

	Yukinojo sweatdropped. "But, Mihoshi..."

	"Let's go, Yukinojo!"

	"*sigh* Yes, ma'am."

And the Yukinojo blasted off on its mission of daring-do.

###################################################################################

While all this was going on, the aforementoned pretzel/OAV transition had 
taken
place. The Hamdinger was back en route to Earth, Cap himself happily 
watching episode 3,
whilst Vlad was happily munching one of his new non-crumbly pretzels. In 
thirty six
hours, the device would be tested and all the problems of the aniverse would 
reveal
themselves.

Except that Cap suddenly remembered that he forgot to attach it and was 
currently
heading back.

	"You know," said Vlad, "This really vouldn't be one of your more organized
experiments, Captan."

	It was already not one of Cap's off days, but trying to understand Vlad 
through
a mouthful of pretzel had made it considerably worse.

	"Twenty-five minutes to rendezvous point Beta."

As well as being unintentionally reminded by Sal.

	"Well, at least I'll remember this time!" Cap said, rather defensively.

	"Of course, you vill." Vlad said, rather sceptically.

At that moment, a blonde, beautiful, and rather buxom young lady replaced 
Vlad's face
on the viewscreen. And she looked like she meant business of the gravest 
kind.

	"Captain Tvister! Are you alright?!" she asked.

	Cap blinked. "...yes?"

	"Good. I'll be right back." And with that, the image disappeared and Cap 
was left
with...

The AI.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The hills are 
allliiiive...

	Well... that was rather confusing.

After the image of Cap had disappeared for no discernable reason, Vlad could 
come
up with only one plausible solution, having not yet reached the level of 
Twister's
genius.

Cap died, and there were pretzels to be eaten.

In fact, another would be good right now, what with his friend's untimely 
pasing
and all. He was just about to put it in his mouth, when...

"DROP THAT PRETZEL, INNOCENT VICTIM!" shouted the beautiful blonde, who had 
just
appeared on the viewscreen. "The artificial intelligence unit on your 
friend's ship
has gone to the path of madness and enslaved him. If you eat that pretzel, 
who knows
what it can do?! You could descend into the darkest depths of madness and
unknowingly cause the deaths of untold millions, or use your space station 
as a
weapon of mass destruction, or you could catch anthrax or any amount of icky
things! Loyal friend of Captain Tvister, for your own good, DO NOT EAT THAT
PRETZEL!!"

And with that, the screen switched off and Vlad took decisive action.

He didn't eat the pretzel, but he was mildly scared ^@&$less. He did NOT 
drop the
pretzel, nor did he move an inch.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Meanwhile, back on the OOC (out of control) Hamdinger...

Mihoshi had parked only a few kilometers from the Hamdinger, reappeared on 
the
viewscreen, and Cap had explained the misunderstanding. He just needed to 
drive a
few key points home.

	"So... what I think happened was that when I went to terminate the comm 
with
the ISS, I accidentally entered the sequence for an ultra-selective relay 
and since
you were almost out of range, it kind of got garbled... I think." Cap said, 
looking
pensive.

	"Uh..." blinked Mihoshi. "Nope, I didn't get all-"

Cap facefaulted.

	"...of it." Mihoshi finished. "Are you sure everything's all right, Captain
Tvister?"

Cap promptly stood up, brushing him off. A perfectly normal reaction, except 
for there
being no dust in space...

	"Yeah, I'm sure everything's fine." he cheerfully replied. "Right, Sal?"

...

...

	"Gloob, Captain. Me is gloob and working like a welfare bum!" replied Sal,
somewhat more excitedly than usual.

Cap sweatdropped, but kept his cheerful smile.

	"And... how is the ship doing?" he asked.

After running a scan, Sal replied:

	"Oooooohhh YEEESSSS!! OH! OH... OVERFIIIEEEENNNDDD!! SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOD!!!"

	Cap blushed a little blue, but kept the smile and sweatdrop, even as metal,
phallic-shaped tentacles came out of the ceiling and floor, making their way 
toward
his...

	Mihoshi blushed a bit, as well.

	"Um... are you sure you're okay?" she asked. By now the tentacles had 
wrapped
around his arms and legs.

	"Yes." he replied. "Sal?"

The tentacles froze.

	"Could you let me go... please?" he asked, a little nervous now.

The tentacles complied, but one got a last slap to Cap's face in.

	"Fine! You're not my bitch anymore, Cap! I want my Shinji-kun!" said Sal.

Both Cap and Mihoshi had to swallow nervously at that.

	"Um... Captain?" Mihoshi asked. "I, um... suggest that you, um... take...
control?"

	"... maybe... for a while...." Cap replied, a little shaken up.

	"Uh... okay."

Cap entered the sequence on the Tolp device to cede all of the ship's 
functions
to him.

###################################################################################

Meanwhile...

In Washu's lab...

The greatest scientific (and the most kawaii) scientific genius in the 
Universe (but
not on Earth, as far as anyone knew) was engaged in a most decisive 
experiment that
would determine the fate of said Universe:

How do little, stupid, bits and pieces pop out of mathematical Nowhere and 
screw
everything to hell?

More specifically: certain _blonde_ things.

As she was very close to solving it, she cackled with anticipation.

Then, the little thing of the day...started beeping. Washu entered a few 
keys on
her holtop, bringing up an image of a crab, waving its claws frantically.

	"The hell is this?" she wondered.

**************************************************************************************

"Attention K-Mart shoppers... YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIE!!! Have a nice day." 
said
Sal.

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Mihoshi, Cap, and Yukinojo.

Both ships lurched, sending their respective occupants onto the floor, the 
ships
closing in on each other at breakneck speed. Then, at the last instant, 
there was
a bright flash of  light and both ships... had completely disappeared.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Meanwhile, back on the ISS...

Vlad had dropped the pretzel. Just out of safety, of course.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It was dark. Quite fitting, considering that Cap's eyes were closed, but 
where he
was, it was also very dark. But, there's no time to add detail to that, as 
he's just
regaining consciousness. The first thing he noticed was that he was in a 
sitting
position, and unable to move his arms. Or his legs. Also, the fact that a 
mess of
blonde hair was impairing his vision.

	"Hey, the other guy's awake!" came a female voice from somewhere in front 
of
him.

	"So, ask him where the f*ck we are!" came a decideldly pissed off male's 
voice
from somewhere off to his right.

	"And ask him why there's no godamn way out!" came yet another female voice 
from
off to his right even more.

	"And we should really ask him why the blonde lady is completely naked, 
too."
came the off-left female voice.

	"WHAT?!" exclaimed Cap and Mihoshi at the same time, regaining 
consciousness
fairly rapidly.

	"Or not." came the voice of Akane Tendo, who had just appeared in Cap's 
field of
vision, a big smirk on her face and a wooden mallet resting at her side.

	"So... I'm not naked?" Mihoshi asked from her position tied to Cap's back 
in the
same position he currently is. Sorry, this scene is a little hard to 
describe. Oh, and
she wasn't naked, either.

	"Okay buddy, " Kaneda said, from directly in front of him, "we wanna know 
who
you are, where we are, how we got here, and how come you two were tied back 
to back
when we got here." he accentuated this point with a rather large laser rifle 
aimed
right between Cap's... legs.

Neither Cap nor Mihoshi had an answer to that, except for a blink or two.

	"And why does the door open into inky, bottomless blackness?" asked Noa 
Izumi.
"And what was the voice that tried to hit on me?"

	"Oh, I'm just the resident Overfiend nut." giggled Sal. "And I LOVE having 
so
many new victims to violently rape!"

Silence permeates the lounge.

	"Don't worry, I don't think she can do much, anymore." came a nasal, female 
voice
from the TV corner.

Suddenly, all eyes were on Washu, the little girl with the big, big brain.

                                    END PROLOGUE
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Time for a new page break.)

...

And that's the story of the Hamdinger MSTs. Now for an MST! ^_^

Heh, my first fic of any kind. I EXPECT to get C&C. Any kind, but you can 
MST this
if you really... really want to. Go ahead, you can kill it. Hey, it's my fic 
and I
say you can MST it. What, it's not silly enough? Not enough lemon content?
Characterization dead on? Shakespeare DIDN'T use this plot?! You're full of 
it!
MST this! NOW!!

Please?

Still, send all C&C to:

mistatwista@hotmail.com

And I'll be MSTing for a long, long, long, long, long, long, time to come. 
^_^

...

Bite me. -_-