Disclaimer: Charlie Fabian Is property of Jimmy Buffett. Arlene Sanders is property of Dafydd ab Hugh and Brad Linaweaver. Goose and Luna belong to themselves and their contributors. Tenchi blah, blah, blah. This fic blah, blah, blah. At Least 13, preferably 18, blah, blah, blah. Enough of this crap. Who wants the fic? ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ Another sunny day at the gallery(www.geocities.com/jakethegoose2069/fanart), and our friends have come under their own free will to view another exclusive screening of one of Jake's fics. Arlene: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'M A U.S. MARINE! Goose: Thank you ladies, can I get her gun off you? Kiyone: Here, take it. I'm gonna need you to sign these release forms. Mihoshi: Wow! Kiyone, look at how pretty he made me! [shameless self promotion] Kiyone: Yeah. He didn't do to bad on My portrait either. [More shameless self promotion] Say, you think you could get Luna to pick a love song for me and Tenchi? [Still more shameless self Promotion] Goose: I'll see what I can do. Thanks again. Luna: So, they found her, huh? Charlie: Can we leave the cuffs on her? Goose: 'Fraid not Luna flips the sign to 'closed' as Goose and Charlie push Arlene through a door marked EMPLOYEES ENYA. Charlie: What happened there? Goose: Someone switched my Linkin Park. Luna: You should've seen the look on your face! Luna perches on the left arm of the couch, Goose uncuffs Arlene and sits between her and Luna. Charlie takes the right end of the couch. Goose: Guys, just to let ya know, I won't be doin' to much today. Just explainin' things the best I can. Luna & Charlie: Uh oh. >Thread (pushed out into camera veiw): Luna: Already? Who the hell is that? Goose: Ditch's* predecessor. Charlie: And who was Ditch? Goose: Figment of my imagination. (*appears in "The Inevitable Return of ? ? ?" & the M.S.T. of it--Luna) > Um, yes, I'm >Thread: the great elven knight, and Arlene: So why's he call himself a knight? Goose: I wish I knew. >this is a 5150 Fanfic Production. 5150 and it's owner(s) Luna & Goose: That's us! > have no claim to any of the characters. Warning, the following >is an X-over with no apparent plot >and frequent OOC out bursts, Charlie: Well, at least you know your no Hemmingway. > and therefore should not be taken seriously. The following >was writen (for lack of a better word) by Jaiq: god of crappy author >created characters that drive My.S.T.ing crews bananas, it was directed by >Serra: goddess of the call of nature, and produced by Erica: goddess of >caffeinated beverages. Catering provided by >Meleni: goddess of sugar. Any >or all of these deities can be reached through the head of James Zale via >e-mail Arlene: Are they still in there!?! Goose: Ouch! Quit it! > at goose20693@aol.com. Luna: No they can't. > And now, our feature presentation... >^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ Arlene: What are you Smiling at? The disclaimer's Barely over and my headache's already back. > It was mid morning. Tenchi was going down to Washu's lab. Why was he >going to Washu's lab? All: Why WAS he going down to Washu's lab? > Because she promised that she would invent him a >ladder so he could climb out of plot holes. Luna: You can do that with a Ladder? Goose: Even if you can't, do you think it would matter here? Luna: Good point. >Tenchi: Little Washu! Is the ladder ready yet? Washu: No, I decided to let >Mihoshi play with the dimensional tuner instead. Tenchi: Why? We already >used the dimensional tuner. Charlie: Because I didn't get to play last time! Goose: Wish I'd've thought of that. Arlene: A double contraction? Can You do that? >Washu: Because the writer of this fic isn't very good, so instead of >thinking of a plot that is engaging and emotionally fulfilling, he's going >to let Mihoshi ruin something and try to make a lot of jokes about it. Charlie: Goose, are you frequently in the habit of insulting yourself? Goose: I'm the self-abusement director. >Tenchi: Will that solve the problem with the plot holes? Mihoshi: Actually, >it will cause more plot holes, a couple at first, but after a while the >plot holes will become so numerous that they will eventually shred the >fragile fabric of our dimension. Everything will become confusingly >distorted and then we will all die horrible deaths. Washu and Tenchi: >(Blink, Blink) Luna: Who was that again? >Mihoshi: Ella is a soft kitty! (She hugs Ella [Ella is a cat/girl]) Ella: >Ack! How did I get here?! Arlene: Forget that. Who the hell is Ella? Goose: A waste of space. >Mihoshi: I found you in a plot hole, remember. (Ella disappears) Tenchi: >(Opens his mouth to ask a question)... Washu: Don't ask, you might get an >answer. Arlene: Sound advice. > Mihoshi, are you done playing with the >dimensional tuner yet? Mihoshi: All set!! (The lab starts to shake, >warnings go off on the dimensional tuner, and >everyone rushes into Washu's >lab.) Luna: Yeah, something bad starts happening and you run TOWARD it. >Ayeka (screaming): Tenchi hold me! Ryoko (same): Ayeka hold me! Charlie: YEAH Ayeka! Hold her! Arlene: >Sasami (Yup! She's screaming to!): I didn't get a chance to have a hot and >freaky lemon scene with Super Saiyan (or Saiya-jin, I'm not sure) Gohan! >Oh, wait, yes I did! Never mind! Arlene: WHO WROTE THAT? Goose: Haha, um, hoohooo! Arlene: Oh no. >Kiyone: What happened? Arlene: Jake wrote a Sasami lemon scene. >Tenchi: Mihoshi played with the dimensional tuner, then she made some smart >talk, then she said that the world was gonna end and we're all gonna die! >Kiyone (now she's screaming!): But I didn't get a chance to confess my >undying love for Goose: Pink Jelly Beans! Luna: I thought you were gonna sit this one out? Goose: And we saw what happened to that. >Little Washu! Little Washu, will you marry me before the end of the world? >Mihoshi: Um, Kiyone... Charlie: You said that in front of everybody. Goose: D'OH! Arlene: After all that nice crap they said about your stupid pictures. >Kiyone (she's still screamin'): Fine, you can marry me to, Mihoshi! Luna: You stupid bitch, That's supposed to be a secret! >Mihoshi: Kiyone, according to the calculations Little Washu will come up >with after I say something cute and out of context, The world won't come to >an end for another seventy years. In that time she will have found a way to >mend the plot holes and save the world. Everyone: (Blink, Blink) Arlene: I'll be damned, Lobotomies can be reversed. >Mihoshi: Is Sailor Moon on yet? Washu (looking at a computer screen): OH >DEAR GOD NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Noboyuki: What is it, Little Washu? Is the >world ending? Washu: NO, worse! Goose: I invested in Enron!! >Cammy: What's worse than that? Ryoko: Where did you come from? Cammy: I >fell out a plot hole. (falls into a plot hole) Washu: Mihoshi was RIGHT! >But Kiyone, I WILL marry you! Kiyone: WOO-HOO! (She does an I.R. Baboon >victory dance [no, she isn't wearing any pants].) Charlie & Goose: WOO-HOO! Arlene: Charlie: What a bout him?! Arlene: It's not his fault. Goose: I don't like the sound of that. >Ayeka: A blue window opens and a boy falls out. He is about Washu's height, >wearing a green jacket,and has tiny feet. Luna: Why did she say that? >Serra (you remember, the director): NO! NO! NO! Ayeka, that's the >narrator's line! > A blue window... >Serra: NO! She already read that! Just wait for the next one! Ed: (When he >talks, he yells for no reason): I AM THE BRAINLESS ZOMBIE WITH NO BRAIN!!! Luna: NO! NO! NO! That's Goose's Line! Arlene: Have you no shame? Making fun of the sick! >Chun-Li: Who is this guy? Ryoko: Did you fall out of a plot hole to? Charlie: Enya, I mean only makes sense. Luna: Enya thing that does. Arlene: You leave him alone! Goose: Should I be exited or scared? >Ayeka: She's not Chun-Li, She's Lady Une in disguise! Chun-Li... I mean >Lady Une: Curses, Foiled again! Luna: That doesn't sound like Lady Une or Chun-Li. Goose: What part off 'Frequent OOC outbursts' did you not understand? Luna: Um, what does OOC mean? Goose: You serious? Oh, Out of Character. > ...Never running from a real fight!... What! Oh, they beat up Lady >Une, Wrap her in tin-foil Charlie: Why? > (because she said "foiled again") Charlie: Ask a stupid question. Goose: The question was valid. The answer was stupid long before you asked. > and then they threw her out a plot hole. >Yosho (who is young for no reason): So, young man, like Lady Une said, who >are you? > She is the one named Sailor Moon! Luna: I bet you thought you had nothing to gain from Sailor Moon, did you? Goose: If nothing else, it's background info on where other people are coming from. >Serra: NOone was talking to you! Ed: I am Ed! I live in a foundation! Charlie: . . . For the blind. Can I Feel you u. . . I mean touch you to see what you look like? Goose: So when WAS the last time you saw 'Dude, Where's My Car'? >Ryoko: How do we understand him? He's speaking english. Arlene: Come to think off it, How do WE understand YOU? >Washu: Because we're from the dubbed version of the show. (See, I explained >everything and nothing at the same time!-- Jiaq) Goose: Well, I got more explaining to do. The next line is all wrong. Luna: This whole fic is wrong. How did you notice? >Ed: Ryoko is Pretty, like A seventy-three Pacer! Charlie: Okay, educate us. Goose: They didn't start making Pacers 'til 75'. Luna: Mihoshi is a genius, Characters are falling in and out of 'plot holes' left and right,and you drove a truck through the fourth wall. And you're worried about a 73' Pacer? Arlene: He's obviously not in control of his judgment. They are. All-Arlene: Who? >Ryoko: Tenchi! How come you never sweet talk me like that! Ed: Ayeka's >breasts are small, so her bras are cheaper! Ayeka: That's so sweet, lord >Ed! Charlie: When I try that line I get. . . Arlene: Charlie: Yeah, that's about it. >Ed: Sasami's eyes are sparkly, like the rayguns in "MUTANTS WITH RAYGUNS" >part four! Luna: Which one was that? Goose: The Mutants rent a van and hit Spring break. Luna: Isn't that the plot to 'Mutants with Rayguns 1'? Charlie: . . . And 2, and 5, and 7. . . >Sasami: Oh wow! Grandfather, can I marry him? Yosho: Why are you asking me? >I'm not your grandfather. Oh what the hell, All three of you girls can >marry Ed! Luna: No need to find out what kind of guy he is, or how he intends to support three wives's, or ask anyone's parents. . . >Ayeka, Ryoko, and Sasami: Hoorah! Charlie: Hoorah? Who says Hoorah anymore? > ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! ED! Goose: Secret's out. Sasami, Ayeka, and Ryouko are Catarl-Catarl. Luna: If you got that joke, e-mail me. >Tenchi: Wait, Ryoko, he called you a car! Ayeka, he called you flat >chested! Sasami: Tenchi, don't be a sore LOSER! Tenchi: Sasami! Your only >EIGHT-YEARS-OLD! Goose: Oh, and you were never 'At the Carrot Patch'? All+Goose: Ooooo! >_< >Sasami: Yeah! But he's only about twelve so it's o.k.! Yosho: Come on, >Kiyone, Washu, and Mihoshi, I'll doo your wedding as well! Charlie: Dude! Six chicks at once! Arlene: Luna: That's it! Give me that gun Arlene! Arlene: Here. Luna: >Tenchi: Kiyone, can i be in your marriage? Luna: HELL NO! You can piss Ryoko off all by yourself! >Kiyone: No because you were so wrapped up in Ayeka, Ryoko, and Sasami, that >you ignored us! Mihoshi: Wait, we need a fourth so we can play basketball >with Ryoko's marriage. Charlie: I didn't realize you liked basketball, Goose. Goose: I don't. But If they were playing hockey they couldn't play shirts and skins. Luna: Arlene: Give me that! Are you okay? Goose: I think my pants are shrinking. >Washu: We will marry Erica: the goddess of caffeinated beverages, because >she is sexy and can play basketball better than Tenchi! Erica, will you >marry us?! Erica: Yes! Yes I will marry you! Luna: Jake, why is one of your alter egos getting into a four-way lesbian marriage? Goose: It's like my father often says, "I'm just a lesbian trap in a man's body". Charlie: Sanders, give me that gun. I'll crack Myself in the head! >Noboyuki and Yosho: HAHA! HAHA! Tenchi's all alo-one! Goose and Charlie: HAHA! HAHA! Tenchi's all alo- one! >Tenchi: You guys are alone to. Charlie: I'm just layin' low. Arlene: Leave him alone you alien freak! Goose: Can't breathe! >Noboyuki: No we're not! I jumped through a plot hole and now your mother is >alive! Yosho: I jumped through a plot hole and killed my father and married > >my mother! Luna: In the grand tradition of the Jerry Springer show. >Funaho: Come here you handsome piece of MAN-CANDY!! All: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! >Noboyuki, Achika, Yosho and Funaho: Tenchi's all alo-one! Tenchi's all >alo-one! Tenchi's all alo-one! Tenchi's all alo-one! Tenchi's all alo- >one! Luna: Why not? All: Tenchi's all alo-one! Tenchi's all alo- one! Tenchi's all alo-one! Tenchi's all alo-one! Tenchi's all alo-one! >Magical Fanfic elves: Don't woory, Tenchi, we're still here for you! Charlie: The Evergreen Cortex never fails to influence you. Does he? Luna: Woory? Arlene: It's woorse than I thought! Goose: Woorse? Arlene: Get out of there! >Jaiq, the god of crappy author created characters that drive My. S.T.ing >crews bananas: Charlie: I kinda like the lesbian speed freak. >I KNEW IT! MAGICAL FANFIC ELVES *DO* EXIST!! (Chases away all the magical >fanfic elves.) Luna: You see fanfic elves? Goose: They tell me to burn things. Arlene: I know Jake. >Tenchi: Now I *AM* all alone! (Just then, Priss from Bubble Gum Crisis, >Tokyo 2040 jumped out of a plot hole.) Charlie: How could something so useful be so dangerous? Goose: Like gasoline, or nuclear power, or diet soda. . . >Priss: Tenchi Masaki, we want you to be the only male on our all-girl >vigilante squad. Your job will consist of fixing our hardsuits and never >being in any real danger. Luna: As opposed to doing all the dirty work? I'll take it! >Tenchi: I thought you already had some one for that. Goose: We dehydrated him. Luna and Charlie: Never do that again. >Priss: Yeah, but we killed him because you are sexier than he was! Arlene: I guess they did dehydrate him. >Tenchi: Okay, let's go. (Tenchi and Priss jump though a plot hole and now >Washu's lab is empty.) Meleni: I know! Let's do an epilogue! Goose: Fidel Castro is still in the ballgame in Havana, but the home field advantage is not what it used to be. Jimmy Buffett has finished his book and has gone fishing. Where is joe Merchant? Charlie Fabian: Yes, where indeed? >Serra: No, we already did one of those. Let's do the score to the >basketball game! Goose and Charlie: Yeah! We wanna score! >[Insert three deities]: Yeah! The basketball game! Luna Charlie & Goose: Yeah! The basketball game! >Jaiq: OKAY! Kiyone's team 96, Ed's team 91! >THE END >\^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ \^_^/ (Magical >fanfic elves!!!) Luna: I don't get it. > And now, A word from the writer... Jaiq: I Drink Three Pots Of Coffee >A Day! My Brain Doesn't Work, It Only Makes A Humming Noise! Big Ed Is My >Hero! Charlie: All highly believable. Goose: I'd still be doing three pots a day if I had the time. > And Any And All Parties Responsible For This Can Be >Contacted At Goose20693@aol.com Luna: No they can't. > And Look Forward To Your Flames (so they can see >things and not trip over them). Goose: LIGHT UP MY LIFE! > If You Would Like To My.S.T. This Then I Give You >Permission, And Be Violent. Jaiq: You have permission, and be violent. Goose: Thank you. Charlie: How does he do that? Luna: Scary, isn't it? > If You Would Like To Copy This And Call It Your Own Then You >Have Mucho Troubles And Need Your Head Examined! All: HWUH! >"I used to think the human brain was the most fascinating part of the body. >Then I realized, Jaiq: . . . That I had one. Luna: Stop that! Goose: Sorry. >well, look at what's telling me that." --Emo Phillips >\^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ \^_~/ (See >their little pointy ears?) Luna: Oh, now I get it. >Even more Author's Notes: When I decided to write this, I decided to praise >the unsung hero's of X-over Fanfics, Charlie: Caffeine, sugar, and frequent trips to the bathroom. > plot holes. When most writers find plot holes they're all, "Dude, a >plot hole, quick fill it up before the next scene"! But when I find a plot >hole I'm all, "Dude, a plot hole, what's in here"? And when I look inside, >it's another pot of coffee, except it's laced with drugs like in that Foo >Fighters video. Charlie: Luna, can you get me a cup of coffee? Luna: You to, huh? > And I'm all, "Wow, Street Fighter", and "Dude, >Chun-Li and Lady Une Have the same hair style". I LOVE CHICKENS EDDY! And >if there weren't any plot holes Lady Une would still be waiting for that >personality transplant, Goose: I'd donate mine, but they won't take it. >and would be all, "Yes Mr.. Treize's ghost, I will kill", but now she's all >jumping through plot holes and making jokes. So thanks to plot holes we >have peace, so, yeah! Plot holes are good! Arlene: Wait, you said before that plot holes were bad. Goose: Last minute contribution from the plot hole lobby. Luna: Any MORE authors notes? Goose: No, that's it. Back in the reception room Charlie is leaning on the wall next to the door, Luna is sitting on her desk, Goose is leaning against his, and Arlene is standing in front of the EMPLOYEES ENYA door with he hands behind her back. Goose: So, what did you think? Luna: Fanfic Elves are evil. But it could've been worse. Charlie: Well worth seven or eight minutes. Arlene: It's not Jake's fault. Charlie: You've been sayin' that all day. It's getting annoying. What the Fuck are you talking about? Arlene: He said it in the disclaimer. He has fanfic demons in his head. But don't worry Jake, I'll get 'em out for ya. Goose: Luna, Charlie, a little help here. Great. Goose runs outside with bullets flying all around him. He runs across the street and jumps and slides across the hood of a car. Charlie: Goose! You made it! Goose: Fuck you Fabian. What are we gonna do about that! Charlie: Luna: Jake, can you still control the plot holes? Goose: Good idea. Charlie: I want a second opinion. Goose opened a plot hole down the street about half a block, and out stepped a steam demon. It spotted Arlene and raised it's rocket- arm. There is no Arlene Sanders. Luna: Alright! Charlie: Great, but how do we get rid of him? Goose: Um, haha, uh. . . Stitch count Goose= 36 Charlie= 27 Luna= 3 Arlene= No amount of stitches is gonna fix that! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ Authors notes Goose(wildeyak2069@hotmail.com): First off, Luna had nothing to do with "I Fell Through a Plot Hole". I did that all by myself. Second, as always, all 5150 Fanfic Productions are My.S.T. free. Even this My.S.T. And Please Visit Goose's Art Gallery and Luna's Attic. (www.geocities.com/jakethegoose2069/fanart and www.geocities.com/gdluna98/) Luna(the_american_shingami@hotmail.com): You're damn right I didn't write that. As always, Jake is in charge of the original fic, and you can throw your comments on this M.S.T. any where you want. Just make sure you don't complain to someone who isn't part of 5150. This has been a 5150 Fanfic Production, in association with Goose's Art Gallery and Luna's Attic. Home of Goose's art (naturally) and Ask Luna, advice column for Anime` fans.