*DISCLAIMER* I maintain that I actually came up with all of the characters represented within this MST, except for the crappy original ones in the fics themselves. The MSTers, however, were originally thought up by me in a small cave on an island in the south Pacific, so I own them all! However, until I can find my documented evidence that Toei Animation and Saban, Gainax, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency, and Pioneer and AIC stole my ideas for Ken and Wormon, Misato, Duo, and Kiyone, respectively, I'll just hedge my bets and say that they're the actual owners. I'll see you all in court, you thieving bastards! *DISCLAIMER* The HMS Zap Rowsdower. A former experimental Canadian spacecraft, stolen by an unwitting teenage tourist, Cyrus Marriner. It is on this newly acquired spaceship that this young man dedicates himself to one sole purpose...to make the universe a better place. To boldly seek out evil in all of its forms and destroy it with extreme prejudice. Unfortunately, he really doesn't have the time to do all of that, and the ship is really complicated, so he just decides to make fun of really bad Tenchi Muyo fan fiction. Using advanced Canadian technology, Cyrus Marriner reaches into the fabric of time and space and pulls together a crew of individuals who can handle the severe mental strain of reading bad fan fiction. Unless they can't. And now, for the introductions! "Hot and Moist" Kiyone Makibi "Sudsy and Sexy" Duo Maxwell "Too Goddamn Young" Ken Ichijouji "Wet and Wild" Misato Katsuragi And Featuring... "The Slippery Worm" Wormon _____________________________________________________________________ And now, what you've all been waiting for... THE OBLIGATORY HOT SPRINGS EPISODE! It was yet another beautiful day on the HMS Zap Rowsdower. Well, the florescent lights were certainly beautiful. As beautiful as artificially produced light from burning gases can be. And as was often dictated by the beauty of beautiful days, it was time for everybody to hop into the hot springs. Of course, the hot springs were divided by gender, so as to prevent Duo and Cyrus from dying of massive blood loss. But to balance out this injustice to male hormones, the hot springs were both close to each other, and separated only by a tiny fence. Because why in the hell would you have hot springs if they didn't set up wacky hijinks involving peeping? Duh. Of course, our current scene is set in the women's springs, because let's be honest, nobody wants Wormon fanservice. They want to see the succulent breasts of our two remarkably beautiful female characters floating on the top of the water, like two buoyant... Ahem. Sorry, got sidetracked. Anyway, Misato and Kiyone were both relaxing in the warm water, seated across from each other. Misato was drinking a cold beer, while Kiyone was treating herself to the occasional drink of sake. Mmm...drunk...wet...Kiyone...Misato... SORRY! Lost my train of thought again. I think there's some dialogue coming up here somewhere. Oh, yes, here it is: "So, why do you think Cyrus told us about these hot springs?" asked Kiyone. "One of two reasons," theorized Misato. "One, he's trying to relax us before he gives us bad news. Two, he wants to check out our racks." "No I don't!" came Cyrus's voice from the low fence separating the two springs. "Shut up, idiot!" Duo hissed, but it was too late. He was quickly hit in the forehead with a rock, knocking him back from his vantage point at the fence. "Ha ha--OW!" Cyrus's laughter was quickly cut off as another rock beaned him right on the noggin, giving him a chance to use that phrase. "There we go," said Misato as she relaxed into the water. "Mmmm...this does feel good. So good, in fact, that I'm going to neglect asking how there is a hot springs on a spaceship, as well as why ." Kiyone took a sip of sake, and sunk into the water until she was submerged up to the bottom of her chin. Suddenly, an evil grin crossed Misato's visage. "I just had a very evil idea," she said, turning to Kiyone. "Yes?" said Kiyone, as she was always a fan of evil ideas. Misato moved over next to Kiyone and began whispering in her ear. Slowly Kiyone's grin grew as Misato outlined her plan. The men's hot spring was decidedly less sexy than the women's. Much of this had to do with the fact that Wormon was there. Wormon was definitely not sexy. Anyway, Duo and Cyrus were rubbing their swollen heads (NO! Not THOSE swollen heads, you pervert!) while Ken sat in the corner reading a book. Wormon was busy swimming, a bizarre sight that could not be adequately described by someone too lazy to. However, the quiet serenity that was the relaxation of the hot springs was broken by a loud cry from Misato. But not one of pain. One of ecstasy. Specifically, it went like this: "OOOOHHHHH GOD YESSSSS!!! KIIIYYYOOOOONEEE! OOOHHH, IT FEELS SO GOOD! DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP! YEEEEESSSS!!! I LOVE YOU!!!" Duo and Cyrus looked towards the sound for all of two seconds before clambering up the rocks at the edge of the hot spring to look over the fence. Cyrus was the first up, and the first to see a sight he would certainly remember: Misato wearing a towel standing at the edge of the hot spring, smirking at him. It would be ingrained in his mind for a while, in much the same way the words "Louisville Slugger" would be imprinted on his forehead. Duo had no time to worry about his companion's baseball-bat induced fate, as his only concern was seeing the hot, hot sex. He soon met a fate similar to his perverted compatriot's. Cyrus was woken up a while later by the sound of the alarm signifying a fanfic starting. Looking around, he discovered two things. One, he was naked and in the bathroom, and two, he was completely hairless, except for his head and face. Fortunately, the girls had found mercy in their hearts and decided to let him keep his beard and hair. But that wasn't the primary thing he was concerned with at the moment. The fanfic alert was going on! That meant it was time to MST, and MSTing was his solemn duty. So he heroically found a robe, wrapped it around himself, and ran out of the bathroom to the theater. He was a dedicated MSTer, after all. And nothing, be it rain, sleet, hail, snow, or hairlessness, would keep him from his work. _____________________________________________________________________ : Geez, what took you so long? : Oh, come on. I was unconscious. And shaved, I noticed. : *laughs* Oh, we got you good, Cyrus. : Where's Duo? : Oh, he met a similar fate. (Duo enters at that moment.) : Being set on fire is NOT a "similar fate". : Oh, look on the bright side. At least you managed to put out the fire before it got really bad. And the skin grafts look good on you! : I suppose we should be quiet, what with the MST starting and all. I don't own anything so if anyone sues me, I'll kick your ass! just joking , enjoy! : Yeah, I doubt you could kick any of our asses. Even Wormon's. : Hey, I heard that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gene Mesaki Saga Part III : Let's recap the previous two stories for the benefit of the crew member who hasn't seen them, shall we? : Certainly. In the first story, Tenchi's brother, "Gene" comes back to the household after his boxing career. : Then he nails Kiyone. : You didn't have to mention that. : Come on, how else are the readers going to understand Gene's evolution as a character? : Anyway, the next day he goes shopping with Sasami, and the author seems to get a big laugh out of making it seem like Gene-- : --who everybody assumes is an SI character-- : --is a pedophile. : Then he nails Washu. : Make sense, Misato? : Please, can I get really drunk before we read this? : No. Lucidity is necessary for the MST. You get drunk after. : Slavedriver. "Truth hurts or does it?" : No, it doesn't. What Gene did to Kiyone in the first episode, however... : Yeah, well what about that one misadventure you had with Heero? : Ack. : How's your truth hurt now, bitch? By Mr. Sinister There where many clouds in the sky. Rain was dropping from every direction. : That's odd. Most rain tends to take a direct path to the ground, with its direction changing based on the wind. : You have to remember, Ken. Mr. Sinister is a dumbass. And what have I taught you about dumbasses? : That there are three of them on the crew and Duo is two of them? : Hey! It was 10 am but it was a dark day. Winds coming in and not a single ray of pure sun shine. : Dammit, I knew that Sun-Drop was going too far! Gene awoke in his bed and looked out side his window. "What did I do to her? What is it doing to me?" : The fic? Oh, it's raping you and Washu. And us, too! Gene said to himself quietly. He woke up and put on a pair of shorts and a undershirt. : Ugh! Man-boobs! Then he ran towards the bathroom, he kneeled in front of the toilet and started to throw up. : Maybe all of our theories about Gene's appearance are wrong. He's behaving like a supermodel. He flushed and then he cleaned himself. He took 2 showers that day and he brushed his teeth 3 times. "I'm so dirty, must get clean" He said to himself a bunch of times. : So our beloved hero has obsessive-compulsive disorder? Guys, should I be feeling something now? : No. Then he walked out of the bathroom and he saw Sesami standing there. "Hello Gene, I heard some noises so I thought I would come and check on you" She said as she smiled and tilted her head to the side. : I thought you were jacking off again, and I came on behalf of the family to tell you that ten times a day is more than enough. "Thanks Sesami. But I think I might be coming down with something. I'll go and ask Washu for help" Gene replied to her. "Oh ok Gene well I hope you get better soon. : If he's going to Washu, I really doubt it. I made a special breakfast today" She bowed down and walked back to the kitchen. : Actually, your breakfast is particularly special. Oh, it's supposed to taste like bitter almonds, too. Gene went towards the door of Washus laboratory. He grabbed the knob with his right hand and paused. He stared at the door and said "Will she forgive me? : For ass-raping her? Oh, I'm sure she'll be chock-full of forgiveness. She is one of my last resorts" : Did he try any other resorts other than the obsessive-compulsive stuff he did in the bathroom? He said a little prayer to himself and he held his breath. He opened the door and walked in. : And was beheaded. The end. He looked around and saw a very peaceful place. There where water falls around and he saw Washu on her holo computer. He looked at the screen above her head and he saw a picture of himself. : Dammit, Washu's over at www.ugly.com again. There was a birds eye picture and side picture and a picture from the front. : How exactly would a bird's eye view help her make any sort of medical judgment? I can't recall ever going off to the doctor's and having them take X-Rays from a helicopter. "What are you Gene?" Washu said. She didn't even take her eyes of her holo comp. She just kept on typing. : Well, I like to think of myself as pure ham. "I don't know but whatever it is, it's taking me over" He replied. Then he walked towards her and stood next to her. "I'm sorry about last night. If this thing wasn't in me then I wouldn't have done anything to you last night" : You know, I'll have to write that down. "Rape girl, act insane, live happily ever after." She stopped and looked at him " Don't worry about it Gene. Maybe next time you can be a little less rough on me" : Oh, there's that Mr. Sinister wit! Ha ha! : Remember, boys and girls, be sure to always carry a healthy sense of sarcasm with you. "Say whaa" He said as he raised one eyebrow and looked at Washu in amazement. "Gene I think I figured out what your virus is" Washu said as the quickly changed the subject. Then she became very serious. "Have you ever heard of Vampires, Ghouls, Angels and Devils?" : Yes. Can anybody here not see where this is going? (Duo raises his hand) Besides Duo? "Well yeah obviously. But do you mean that people have seen them in real life?" Gene said as he got really confused. Then he started to scratch his head. But he knew his real secret. : The fuck? (Everybody looks at each other.) Did you understand that? No. I didn't think so. (Eerie silence as everyone realizes they just spoke in unison.) "You see since the start of time on this world. There has been a virus that changes people. Normal evolution is from when your kind. The humans evolved from monkey to what you see on television. : Not in Kansas, they didn't. But this virus changes that. Vampires, Ghouls Devils and so on are causes of this virus." : So this virus is caused by White Wolf Role-Playing Games? Washu said as she showed Gene newspaper articles of people seeing monsters. (A loud snapping sound is heard) : What was that? : Oh that was our suspension of disbelief being stretched to the point of breaking. : Yeah, why the hell would Washu keep newspaper clippings, exactly? "Hmm I think I know what you mean. Like there is a virus that makes people into monsters?" Gene said still scratching his head. "But I don't get anything at all" : Actually, in this fic, you've been getting quite a bit, if you know what I mean. "Don't worry about it Gene. Just go stand there" Washu said as she shook her head to the amazement of Gene stupidity. : Wow, it took her this long to do that? We must be smarter than Washu! "Ehh ok" Gene said. Then he walked over to a golden star on the ground "I just don't want any anal prooooooobbbbbeeeeeeessssss" : Oh, you'll get plenty of those when you go to jail. He got cut off as these metal tentacles wrapped around his ankles, waist and wrists. Then a black table appeared and Gene got strapped to the table. "Sorry little Washu but I don't play this way" Gene said to Washu as sweat was dropping down his face. : Yeah, I mean, you're a *girl*! Icky! "Don't worry Gene. But there is one thing" She said : I'm afraid I'll have to use the probe I nicknamed "Big Bertha". "Ehh what's that?!" He replied. "This is really going to hurt, and I'm sorry Gene" She said as a tear came down her left cheek. : She's only sad because she has to waste a "Big Bertha" on him. *Holy this girl has feeling for me or maybe its a tear of joy for getting me back for last night* Gene thought to himself. : Here's hoping it's a tear of joy. All these machines came out of the ground. They where all little black boxes. The first one opened up and a robotic hand came out with a needle at the tip of each finger. Then the other black metal boxes hovered closer towards Gene. Each one had a multiple number of silver metal mini tentacles come out of it. : Ugh, the mini-tentacle-rape scene. : Little tentacles for little guys. In the living room. Every one sat around the table. "Where's Gene?" Tenchi said as he looked at Sesami. : Is he gone? Please tell me he's gone! "I don't know but I made him a special breakfast as a thank you for the trip to the mall." She looked at Tenchi and frowned. : It's chock full of poison-y goodness! Back in the lab. The box with the needles started to inject Gene with some kind of green liquid. Then they took blood from Gene. : So Washu's replacing his blood with lime Jell-O? Is this supposed to prove something? On of the boxes was in front of Gene and then 2 mini tentacles went towards his temples. On the tip there where drills. They drilled into Genes temples. : And into his brain, killing him instantly. The end. He started to scream out in pain. "NOOOOOO STOPPPP - THIIISSS WASHUUUUU" Gene said as he screamed louder and louder. : So is Washu testing the effects of pain on losers, or something? Then all the other boxes started drilling into him. Some where in his kidneys, behind his knees, in his elbows, mostly everywhere around his body. : What the hell? I'm starting to enjoy this fic! : That's because the amount of pain the crappy SI character is in is inversely proportional to the amount of pain the readers are in. Suzuki's Theorem. : What the hell? Do you do reading beforehand? Blood ran down his face. He screamed louder and louder. The sides of his mouth started to rip as he screamed. The louder he screamed the louder it would have torn. : Well, we're all getting to see Gene getting tortured to death, and yet I feel strangely unfulfilled. : Probably because this is part three of four. At least, so far. Then the boxes started to gather energy and they started to shock him. He screamed louder and louder. : So, what exactly does this experiment prove? : I guess that the author knows the character sucks. "What's going on?" Tenchi said as he listened to the screams of his brother. "Is that..?" "Its Gene!" Mihoshi said. : I hope he dies and shuts up soon! The group gathered around the laboratory door. "I have to get in there. What's Washu doing to him" Tenchi said as he tried to opened to door. "It's locked" : Good. "I can do it" Ryoko said as she tried to open the door. "Its too tight" Then she threw energy balls at the door and it still didn't open. "All we can do is listen" Kyone said. : And good listening it is indeed! Everyone looked at each other and no one knew what to do. Then Sesami started to cry and Tenchi started to comfort her as he tightly hugged her. Aeka tried to help out Sesami too. : What if Washu doesn't stop until he's dead? : Don't worry, Sasami. It's Washu. She does the job right. "AGHHH ILL KILL YOU FOR THIS WASHU!" Gene screamed in his evil voice. * Can't carry on* He thought. "Gene this is for your own good. I'm trying to kill the virus with in you" Washu said with a worried look on he face. : I guess the way she figures it, if he's dead, then so is the virus. A medical theory I'm all for. Gene screamed louder and louder. His cheeks had been ripped into 2 and blood came from everywhere his body. His skin was turning into red it wasn't his blood but it was the same color. : It probably is blood. I mean, if it looks like a duck quacks like a duck... Washu stood there in shock. She made here holo comp come back up. Then she tried to tighten the restrains on him. He screamed again. But the tone of his voice darkened and it didn't sounds like his normal happy voice. His eyeballs turned black and his eyes turned into blood red. : So he's evil. Thanks for pointing that out, Mr. Sinister! Washu looked at Gene and she couldn't believe it. She saw 2 cracks in his forehead : What a butthead. and 2 horns grew out of his forehead. : Honk if you're horny, baby. His size grew bigger and taller. His shirt ripped as his muscles got bigger and tightened. Then his nails turned black and they grew longer and sharpened at the tips. She even saw a tail growing out behind Gene. : I bet it's a bunny rabbit tail. She didn't want to be around while Gene broke free. She quickly ran towards the door and opened it. Gene started to move back and forth and then he tore the machines apart and he broke free. : Help us! The monster is going to attack Tokyo! : Wait! Gamera will save us! He ripped out all the mini tentacles and he destroyed all the boxes. Then his body started to heal himself. All the cuts and scars started to disappear. : Man, this sucks. It's starting to be painful again. : I told you, the Suzuki Theorem... Washu ran into the living room and she saw all the people listening. "WASHU What did you do to Gene?" Tenchi quickly said. : I was trying to kill him, but the author must have had some sort of shitty plot device just in case something like this happened! "I don't know, but my experiment went wrong, I must have miscalculated something, but there is no time we have to go outside now before he gets to us." Washu said as he hurried outside. : Woah, is Washu a hermaphrodite? : It would explain why Gene slept with her. I mean, him. So Tenchi, Aeka, Mihoshi, Kyone, Sesami, Washu, Ryoko, Ryo-ohki and Nobuyuki ran outside beside the lake. "So what happened Washu?" Tenchi said as he was gasping for air. : Geez, you puss. It's only a thirty or so yard sprint. "He transformed" Washu said. Then she looked inside the from a distance. Gene got to the door but it was locked. He let out a loud growl that send shivers down all the girls spines. Then they heard banging on the door. : Little pig, little pig, let me in! BOOM BOOM BOOM Then the door broke free. "Tenchi I'm scared" Sesami said as she hugged his left leg. "Don't worry Sesami, Gene wont hurt us" Tenchi said as he picked her up and hugged her. : The hell I won't! Get over here so this author can finally write a Sasami lemon! "Yes but I don't think that, that think is Gene" Washu said. Gene started to walk out the lab door dragging his tail behind him. He looked to his right and he saw the group stand there. He quickly started to walk outside. : Wow. They really don't understand the concept of "running", do they? "HEEE I MEAN IT'S COMMING" Aeka said as she made a shield around the group. "I will protect you Lord Tenchi" Ryoko looked at Aeka in jealousy so she said "I'll kill him now" She powered up and started to fly. : Powered up? She's not a robot, dumbass. Nor is she a Dragonball Z character. "NOOO don't Ryoko. Gene is in there." Tenchi said in a worried look. He took a deep breath then he said "Do what you can, but don't kill him. Make it your last resort" He shook his head and he couldn't believe what he just said. : Right. Make him suffer, first. Ryoko looked at his worried face and said "Don't worry Tenchi it wont come to that" She turned around and saw Gene standing at the house which is like 50 feet away from them. : I love this writing style Mr. Sinister is using. : You see he was, like, 50 feet away, and then he, like, walked over to them, and he was, like 20 feet away... : Totally. He started to clap and he said "That was truly heartbreaking, now its time to kill you all." He leaned forward and started to charge. : Da da da da, da daaaaa! (Thrusts his fist into the air, accompanied by silence. A cricket chirps.) You're supposed to say cha-- : We know. Just shut up. The girls all charged up and got ready for his attack. Mihoshi and Kyone got their lazer guns and aimed. Aeka made her shield powerfuller. : Did she make it more powerfuller? Be cause then it would have been really powerful! She summoned her guardians and they helped out. Washu was still on her holo comp and Ryoko made a energy ball. : Holy shit! This author actually remembered Azaka and Kamidake! Not their names, of course, but he remembered they existed. Maybe we should give him a break. Gene got closer and closer he was 20 feet away then 15- 10 -5 then he stopped. He felt something right next to his neck. It was the blue light sword. Which looks and sounds exactly like the light saber. : You know, Pioneer might not be up for suing a lot of people, but I bet George Lucas would be up to it. : Yeah, he's probably got a big chunk of time he had set aside for reading letters praising the title of his latest Star Wars movie. Attack of the Clones, my ass. : This bit of Star Wars bitchery was brought to you by Ed Wood. Remember, even Ed Wood wouldn't give his movie a stupid name like "Attack of the Clones"! : Uh, Ed Wood's been dead for years. How can he be a sponsor? : Through the magic of science. : But... : Shhhhh. He looked to see who held the sword at his neck "Well hello there grand father, how are you today?" He said to Yosho as he smiled. : Well, I'm doing okay, and I...hey! I'm supposed to be kicking your ass! : That crafty Gene. What won't he try? "I felt there was a evil power but I can't believe that its you Gene" Yosho said to Gene. But he wasn't the old Yosho he was the younger form, the powerful one. : Yeah, lemme guess, this feeling started around the time Gene arrived and disappear whenever Gene would leave. Great deduction, Sherlock! "Look Gene is gone, I'm his evil side. Ever since he was a kid there was a great evil growing inside him. That evil is me. Also its not just the virus that made him like this..." : ...it's the cream-soda flavored gelatin. Gene said then he quickly jumped back 5 feet and jumped towards Yosho for an attack. Yosho flipped backwards and he charged towards Gene. Yosho aimed towards Genes head. But Gene knew what he was up to so he moved his head to the right and then he digged and cut into the side of Yoshos stomach. : This is some of the worst choreography I have ever seen. And I was on Digimon. After their attack they finished their jump and landed behind each other at a distance of 10 feet. Genes tail was moving from side to side. He looked over his right shoulder. He looked at the back of Yosho and said. "I know all your moves, there is nothing you can to do beat me, you trained me too well." : Maybe you don't remember, Mr. Sinister, but you established in the first chapter that Gene had been away for most of his adult life. I hardly think Yosho would be able to teach an eight-year-old a lifetime of swordfighting. He looked down at his left hand and saw Yoshos blood dripping of his nails onto the grass. "I didn't teach you everything" Yosho said as he fell to the grass. : Hell, I didn't teach you anything! "Dad" Nobuyuki said as he rushed to Yosho and lifted him. He picked up the light sword and threw it to Tenchi for safety. He put Yosho over his left shoulder and he ran inside. : And Gene just stood there watching, huh? Tenchi put Sesami down and he picked up the swords and he powered it up. "WHAT EVER YOU ARE, I WONT LET YOU TAKE GENE" Tenchi yelled. : I have to get my beating in, first! "What are you talking about Tenchi I could never hurt you" Gene said as he looked at Tenchi. "Stop Tenchi I'll go first" Ryoko said as she charged Gene. : Gee, I thought Ryoko was fine with being second. Oh, wait, that was with something else. "We all will" Kyone said. Then everyone except Sesami and Washu surrounded Gene. : What the hell? Are they going to play duck duck goose or something? "Ha this is a joke." Gene looked around and he charged towards Kyone. : No, this is a joke. Knock, knock. : Shut up. She tried to shoot him but she missed several times. He jumped side to side, and he dodged all her blasts. He got close to her pulled his right hand, clinched his fist and hit Kyone in the stomach. He looked her in the eyes and he watched Kyone spit out blood and run down her face onto her chin. : Wait, is Kiyone running down her own face? Maybe you should worry more about your antecedents, Mr. Sinister. He took his hand away from her stomach and he put his hand on her neck. He held her up. He leaned forward and stuck out his tongue trying to lick her blood. : See, this is why you should wear a cross like Misato does, Kiyone. It keeps evil demons away. : I tried, but you still hit on me, anyway. He got closer and closer. Then he got shot in the back. "AGHH" He dropped Kyone and turned around. He said "All right who did that?" He looked around and saw Mihoshi with her knees wobbling and smoke coming out of he gun. : Well, it couldn't have been her, her gun shoots smoke, not "lazers". She had 2 tears on the side of her face. "Stay back!" She said "You - you are under arrest for abusing a Galaxy Police Officer" "Yeah right like I will come in peace" Gene replied. : Looks like somebody's figured out how to use sarcasm! Oooh, we're so scared! He started to fly towards Mihoshi. He suddenly hit a little hovering log. "What's this?" : Can I lick blood off of it? He looked around and he saw that he was surrounded by these mini logs. He couldn't move around. "What kind of trick is this? I CAN'T MOVE" He said as he got angrier. : Thank you, thank you. For my next trick, I'll make all of the sanity in this story disappear! It was Aeka special holding shield. She combined her powers with her guardians. Then Gene looked to his left and saw Ryoko and Tenchi charging towards him. : Da da da da, da daaaa! (Thrusts his fist into the air again. Again, there is silence.) I suppose the chances didn't going to get any better you guys were going to go along with it and say "Charge!", huh? : Good guess. Tenchi was able to cut Gene in the front of his chest and Ryoko cut Gene in his lower back. Gene let out a giant scream. He was able to make a energy ball out of his hand and the made it hit Aeka. : He made an energy ball out of his hand? So, his hand became an energy ball, and then he made it hit Ayeka. Anyone care to wrap their brain around that? "Aeka" Tenchi yelled as she flew backwards and she hit the ground. The ball hit her in the stomach and winded her. She blacked out. : What, you mean like half of California at any given time? Since Aeka blacked out, the power of the force field was taken out. Gene flew towards the guardians, and he cut the guardian logs into little pieces. : Cyrus, are you okay? : Did you see that? Did you? : See what? : The bullshit that he just pulled. Did you see what happened to Azaka and Kamidake? That is such complete bullshit. I'm going to kill this author. If there's one thing you don't do, it's come up into my house-- : You mean spaceship. : --spaceship, and screw around with Azaka and Kamidake. You JUST DON'T DO IT. : Stop it, you're scaring me. Gene looked at Ryoko and he liked his lips. : I agree. They're a nice pair of lips. I can see why he'd like them. And Duo, if you say anything, I'm pretty sure Kiyone will kill you. : Dammit. Then he flew towards her and he was just about to attack Ryoko and slice her into little pieces. But just before he attacked Sesami got in the way and he cut hit her in the in the chest. : Oh, Ryoko, Sasami'll take a hit for her, but Azaka and Kamidake... : Come on, Cyrus, aren't you taking this a bit too seriously? : WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DEFENDING THE LITTLE BITCH? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? : Uh, anybody got some sort of antipsychotic on them? On her left side over her heart. "Noooooo" Gene screamed. as he fell to the floor and he took his hand out of Sesami. He wrapped his hands around her. "Sesami please don't die, I'm sorry" : Yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't have been mad at you for killing Ryoko. : Yeah, and you killed AZAKA AND KAMIDAKE! YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL! Tenchi looked at Sesames dying body. : Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame's Dying Body? His eyes opened wide and he charged at Gene. He held his sword back and then he cut of Genes head. His head flew up 2 feet and rolled in the air as it feel onto the ground. Blood came squirting into the air out of Gene body. : Hooray! The weenie speaks for all of us! Tenchi took Sesami out of Genes arms and he held her tightly. Washu came running towards them. "Do something Washu , make her come back." : Sasami, I order you to come back right now! : That didn't work! : Well, now it's your problem. I'm going to get back to my science now. Tenchi said to Washu as he cried. He gave little taps onto Sesames cheeks "Please wake up Sesami don't die on me I never told you how I feel about you Sesami" : Yes, you pump firmly on the chest three times, then tap the cheeks. Everybody knows that about CPR. Sesami slowly opened her eyes and looked at Tenchi. "Teeenchiiiii" Sesami said slowly. : Your knee is in my stooooomaaaaach. "I love you Sesami, I always have. I want you Sesami to be by my side forever. I LOVE YOU" Tenchi said as his tears fell on Sesami. "Tenchi I loooovvvvv........" : ...Ryooooo-Oooooohkiiiii. : Hey, that might be the topic of next week's fic! Sesami said as her eyes closed and she died. : She's dead, Jim. "NOOOOOOOO" Tenchi said as he looked into the sky, "This isn't right" He said to himself. : Yeah. This fic isn't right. "Tenchi what about meee?" Ryoko said to Tenchi as she cried and faded away. : You know, concern like that always brings a tear to the eye. "No wait Ryoko" Tenchi said as he put Sesami down and got up. "Bring them back Washu all of them" Tenchi said to Washu : Dammit, Jim, I'm a genius, not Jesus. "I can't do anything Tenchi" Washu replied to Tenchi as she looked down at Sesami. Tenchi walked slowly towards Washu and he slapped her across the face. "You supposed to be the greatest scientist in the Universe" He said to her as he shook his head. : That, she is. It doesn't make her a freaking necromancer, though. He turned around and kneed in front of Sesamis dead body. He put his hand together and he closed his eyes and started to pray. "Please Tsunami, Come here and do something" : I'm sorry, Tsunami is busy right now. If you'll please leave your name, number, and a short message, she'll resurrect your dead as soon as possible. Washu put her hand on her face and she started to cry. She looked around and saw Mihoshi holding Kyone and crying. Then she saw Aeka and went to aid her. : Hmph. Her concern is touching. Tenchi heard a noise and he slowly opened his eyes and he looked forward. He saw a red flame appear and it slowly drew into a giant ring of fire. : Oh, crap. This isn't going to become a Sigfried and Roy act, is it? Then inside the fire started to twirl like a portal. Tenchis eyes opened wide he couldn't believe it. : Yeah, a flaming portal. How inexplicable. As opposed to the Wings of the Light Hawk. Slowly someone started to walk out of the portal or fire. Tenchi first saw the shoes of the man. He wore black dressing up shoes. Tenchi started to look up and he saw that the man was wearing a sharp looking suit. : Nothing more evil than an urban professional. Tenchi looked up at the man face and paused. "Whhhaaaaatt who are you?" Tenchi said as he started to shake. He looked at the man and he looked a bit like Genes Evil form. : That is, all of Gene's forms. But the man was less muscular. He had short hair. His eyes had a v shape. He had a pointing noise. A mustache and hair under his lower lip. The mans eyebrows also formed another v. : Satan is brought to you by the letter "V". "Who are you?" Tenchi said knowing that he will regret that question. The man was also blood red with horns. He had a cigar in his mouth. : Holy shit! It's George Burns! He took a deep breath and inhaled. Then he walked towards Genes dead body and he exhaled. "You know Tenchi after Gene left this house he wasn't able to survive at such a young age. He virtually sold his sold to me to survive to see you again and to find true love." : He could have just sold his body. There a probably bunches of sexual deviants who would love to help a young boy earn some money. : *coughmrsinistercough* The strange man said while he looked over to Tenchi. He smiled and inhaled again. "And the virus that lived inside him would have made him a perfect leader in my armies against heaven." : Uh...does AIDS make you some sort of superman now? "Hold on... You're thh-th-the Dev" Tenchi said as he stuttered. : Th-th-the Developer of Daikatana! : Aah! Evil! "I have many names but I am mostly known either as the Devil or as I prefer, Satan. That's what you will call me" Satan said to Tenchi. "Well it looks like you won Tsunami, You won the bet. Tenchi does love Sesami the most." : Okay, this is just getting confusing. What the hell is Tsunami doing here? And why is she making bets with Satan? : Alright, I got two-to-one odds against the Bears. Who you gonna pick, Satan? : The Devils. : Geez, you could at least not bet on the SAME hockey team every time. And this is football, too. He said as he looked up at a cloud that was hovering over everyone. : And then it started to rain. "Tsunami?" Tenchi said to himself. : No, just a light rain. A tsunami's much wetter. : Duo, keep your mouth SHUT. : Dammit... "That's right Tenchi its me" Everyone looked up and saw the cloud form into Tsunami. She slowly hovered towards the ground and she stood next to Tenchi. "It looks like you owe me Satan" She looked straight into the Devils eyes. : Oh, just a note of forewarning. Anybody who sings "The Devil Came Down to Georgia" during this part gets shot. : Dammit. (puts away banjo) "I don't think so Tsunami" Satan said as grinned with evil. "I win Tenchi loves Sesami" Tsunami said as she started to get angry with Satan. : Betting on Tenchi's pedophilia...thank you Mr. Sinister. Only a mind like yours could come up with that sort of pastime. "Yes but our bet was that Sesami will find her true love. Right?" Satan said : You know, you just want to say something about Satan finding legal loopholes. So you do. "That's right" Tsunami replied. "You see I don't care if Tenchi loves her but Sesami has to love him back. She never said that she loves him." Satan said. : This is just sick. Sick in the head. : I know. They're making bets on the true love of an eight-year-old? Mr. Sinister, I want to kick your ass so bad right now... "Yes she did" Tsunami said "I'll show you!" Satan put took his cigar with his left hand and then he raised his right hand. He wiggled his fingers and said "Aghra- Marhra- Shim Sharoom" : Lines straight from the Necronomicon. The "My First Necronomicon" from Fisher-Price. : Occultism. Be sure to start young. Then Sesamis body started to raise and she hovered in mid air. Her eyes started to open. "Sesami can you hear me?" Satan said to her. : No, I'm dead. Dumbass. Now put me down. "Yes I can hear you. But where am I?" She said looking around. : You're in hell. : No, she's just in this shitty fic. : Like I said. Hell. "SESAMI" Tenchi said. "She can't hear you, she is in another dimension she can't even see you." : "Another dimension", huh? Looks like somebody's been watching a little to much edited Dragon Ball Z. Satan said. "Look Sesami I have to ask you a question and you have to tell me the truth, It's very important" : This is very important to your Uncle Satan, okay? "Oh ok" Sesami said with a worried look on her face. "Who do you truly love Sesami?" Satan asked her. : She's going to say Gene. That's what I love about this fic. She's going to say Gene. : I think Cyrus just lost it. "I - I - I love Gene" Sesami said : See! I'm not insane! She said Gene! : That isn't why we thought you were insane. : Really? : We thought you were insane because you seemed to be enjoying it. "Do you truly love him? and what about Tenchi?" Satan asked. "I like Tenchi a lot but I truly love Gene" She said. Then her eyes closed and he body dropped to the ground. : Yes, an eight-year-old definitely knows about true love. Sure. : But you forget. She's known Gene for all of...what, a week now? Tenchi who was already kneeling put his hands on his face and started to cry. : Dammit, now I have to choose between the hot, of-age Ryoko, the hot, of-age Ayeka, the hot, of-age Washu-- : --adult form only-- : --or the hot, of-age Mihoshi! This sucks! "Well there you have it Tsunami. I win there is no true love in this millennium. The heaven won the all the time till now. Earth will belong to me and I will add this place to my collection." Satan said as he laughed with the evilest laugh ever. It send shivers down everyone's spine. (Everyone bursts out laughing.) : *laugh*...oh, the imagery... : It's the...*laugh*..."evilest laugh ever!" : Stop the MST, I want to *laugh* just end it after that! : *laugh* but "It send shivers down everyone's spine." *laugh* I hope their collective spine recovers! "Nooo you wont take this Earth. You haven't won Satan. There is one more thing" Tsunami said as she walked over to the head of Genes evil body. : I want to *laugh* make a joke *laugh* about "giving *laugh* head", but all I can think of is the *laugh* "evilest laugh ever"! Satan stopped laughing and said "Face it bitch I've won" Tsunami looked at Satan and then a red rose appeared in her hand. She looked at Gene. Then sunlight started to surround her. She dropped the rose onto Genes face. She closed her eyes said her prayer. : Wooh...deep breaths. Everybody normal now? : I think so... The rose hit Genes face and his body transformed into his human form. His face and body started to fly up. Then his face flew towards his body and they connected. His body feel onto the ground. He slowly moved and got up. : Aw, DAMMIT! I was hoping he was dead for good. Satan wasn't pleased so he raised his hand and put Gene into a cage of fire. Now Tsunami wasn't pleased. "Gene" Tsunami said. "Yes Tsunami??" Gene said. : Ah, yes. He knows Tsunami...how? : We'll just have to take the author's word for it. : Since when have we done that? "I'm going to ask you a question and its very important that you tell me the truth" Tsunami said. She said the same words as Satan, and she was very confident. : Okay miss nice lady goddess person. Satan growled " What is she trying to do?" He said quietly to himself. "I'll try to help you as much as possible" Gene said. "Gene who do you truly love" Tsunami said to Gene "I really love Sesami, she's the love of my life" Gene said. : Pedophile. You are a goddamned pedophile. You disgust me. And everyone else. You don't fall in love with a girl who is at least ten years your junior. Even more so if you're twenty. : Sorry about that there. The point needed to be made. And not by jokes. Sasami lemons are just wrong, people. : Great, when did this turn into a fucking after-school special? "Well it looks like he loves her and she loves him." Tsunami said. She looked over to Satan and said " Well it looks like Good triumphs over evil yet again" : Never underestimate the powers of pedophilia! "Hahaha fine, you win. Sesami gets to grow up into her adult age and you finally become an Angel. I'll take out Genes evil virus and I'll let him live his life." : Yeah, his life as a child molester. : Do you have some sort of deep dark secret in your past? Satan said. He looked over to Sesami and he raised his hand and said some dark words. : Black, forest green, burnt sienna, midnight blue-- : Alright, you can put away the box of Crayolas, Cyrus. Sesamis body started to age rapidly. She must have aged until she's 20. : How convenient. (Everything freezes, except for Cyrus, who is bathed with a light so pure, so gentle, so soft, it could only be fluorescent.) : Hi there, boys and girls. This is me, the author of the MST, speaking through my avatar. I'd like to clarify something for you. I am a firm believer in the fact that suddenly aging Sasami is not an acceptable practice. It does not make what is about to happen in this fic okay, just because the character suddenly has a nice set of tits. She is still mentally a child. It is still statutory rape to me, and to many other people. So, to summarize, NEVER HAVE ANYONE FUCK SASAMI, YOU BASTARDS. OR TSUNAMI, FOR THAT MATTER. Thank you. (Everything returns to normal.) : Gee, I wonder what happened there? : I don't know. *coughgodcomplexcough* : Hey! Then Satan took away the fire cage. Sesami woke up and then she got up. She looked around and she saw Gene looking into the ground and crying. : Thereby reinforcing my opinion that Gene is actually an effeminate loser. : Thank you, Sherlock. : Shut up, Watson. "Gene" she yelled "I love you" He looked up and saw Sesami running towards him. He got up and he started to run towards Sesami. They both opened their arms and hugged each other. They stared into each others eyes and kissed. : Hmm...the nose would probably get in the way there. "I'll love you for ever Sesami" Gene said. "I'll love you too" Sesami replied. "I hate this love stuff. It sickens me to my soul." Satan said. : I hate this dialogue stuff. It sickens me to my soul. "Why? Because you've never loved yourself?" Tsunami said. but this time Tsunami had 2 wings and a golden halo. : Huh. Tsunami is the eighteenth angel. "No I'm not into love. Hey Gene you know I still own you and I will never leave you alone. " Satan said as he inhaled his cigar. : Gene, you are my BITCH! : "Raped by Satan: The Gene Mesaki Story" tonight on Biography. "As long as I am with Sesami nothing will hurt me" Gene said after he broke the kiss. : Because Sasami is one bad mother-- : Shut your mouth! : I'm just talking about Sasami! : Oh, well I can dig it! "HAHAHA" Satan said "Its time for me to go, but I will be back, you haven't seen the last of me" He turned around and started to walk towards the portal. "Nothing will happen to you Gene and Sesami your true love will get you through anything" Tsunami said as she flew up into the sky. : Yes, the true love you formed over the course of one shopping trip will conquer all! : I bet it could conquer France. Satan looked over his shoulder and looked at Tsunami flying away, then he slowly said "We'll see about that . Yes that's right we'll see about that. Hahaha" He started laughing again and then he walked through the portal. : Did I mention we'll see about that? : And on that note, let's take a break. We'll need one, too. This is a looooong fic. : Can I drink? : Not yet. : But I'll be able to, right? : Okay, I think we can relax in the hot springs for a while. : Yeah, we need to wash away the filth of this fic. _____________________________________________________________________ And now... MORE OBLIGATORY HOT SPRINGS EPISODE! "So anyway, I thought that meant the primary thrust converter was out of alignment, and that meant I would have to go to deck 12 and completely retool the ionization nacelles..." Wormon was rambling about the basic maintenance he had performed on the ship. "Why the hell did I give him the manual?" Cyrus whispered to Duo. "Otherwise we'd all be dead and the ship would have broken down," Duo replied. "Would that be worse than this?" Cyrus asked. "Probably not. Man, I bet that they're having hot lesbian sex over there right now." Duo gestured to the fence on the other side of which was the female hot spring. "Probably not," replied Cyrus. "Hey, where's Ken?" Well, funny he should ask, because at that moment Ken was stealthily infiltrating the other hot spring. Of course, he had a different idea of the traditional peeping outfit than Duo and Cyrus, as he was dressed in a completely black suit, much like a ninja. Slowly, he crawled low through the corridor which contained the doors to both hot springs. Back pressed against the wall, Ken pushed open the door to the women's onsen. He held his breath, unsure of his detection, until the sounds of the two women holding conversation floated to his ears. "Truth or dare?" That was Kiyone's voice. "Hmmm...truth." That was Misato, most definitely. "Okay, who's the most bishie of all the guys?" "You have to say 'Is it true?'" "Okay, is it true you're a bitch about stuff like that?" "Is it true you're a mean drunk?" "Is it true that you're a slutty drunk?" "Is it true that THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON YOUR SHOULDER?!" "AAAGH!" "Heh, gotcha." "Dammit, Misato. We were just about to start wrestling, too." "What?" "Nothing." By this time, Ken had managed to sneak into the onsen. And he was getting a good view, too. A view which would definitely fuel his adolescent mind for quite a while. Suddenly, he was tapped on the shoulder by a large, demonic creature. "Who are you?" Ken asked. "I'm the plot device that keeps male characters from being able to get more than a passing glimpse of female characters in the nude," said the plot device. "Drat," said Ken as the plot device kicked him right into the hot spring, startling Misato and Kiyone. "What are you doing here?" yelled Kiyone as Ken's head rose above the water. "Umm..." said Ken, who was too busy checking out Kiyone's assets to form a cohesive response. "Oh, he's dressed like a ninja!" said Misato. "Umm..." said Ken, whose attention had just been drawn to the purple-haired goddess's ass. Assets, I mean. "Yeah, he is. And he has a grappling hook!" Kiyone was now less startled and angry. Although it might have been some of the sake talking. "Um..." said Ken, whose eyes were working overtime to see as much as was humanly possible of the two woman standing in front of him. "You want to come here and sit with us? We're playing truth or dare," Misato said. She had also taken a few drinks of alcohol herself. "Um..." said Ken. His mind was currently dredging up stories he had read that had begun this way. Stories from sites he shouldn't have gone to yet. "It could be fun..." Kiyone said, looking at Ken seductively. "Urk." said Ken. His mind had given out on him, and he was now face down in the water. "Huh, and I'm the slutty one," mused Misato as she sat back down in the water. "Hey, Misato," said Cyrus. "Ack! What do you want?" "Did you two kill Ken?" "No. Is that what you wanted?" "No, I just wanted to tell you that we're going back into the theater. And that Kiyone's been stealing glances at your ass." He ducked back down under the fence before Kiyone could throw something at him. Misato stepped out of the water. "Damn fanfics," she muttered as she wrapped a towel around herself. "Hey, were you checking out my ass?" she asked Kiyone. "Well...yes." "Yeah. I'm the slutty drunk. Sure." Misato walked out of the onsen to go change and get back into the theater. _____________________________________________________________________ : So, did you take pictures? : Well, no. : Could you draw them? : Maybe. : Well, was her pubic hair-- (Kiyone and Misato enter the theater) : --and that's how you solve the headache rememdy puzzle in Curse of Monkey Island. : Yeah, that's a tricky puzzle. Tenchi paused and instead of crying he was happy for Gene and Sesami. Then something said to him "Hey Tenchi no one will remember what you said to Sesami " Tenchi guessed that it was Tsunamis voice. : No, I'm sorry, it's your fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Meeny! Yes, Tenchi, this is your life! "Tenchi!!!!!" Ryoko yelled. "Lord Tenchi!!!!!" Aeka yelled. They both ran towards Tenchi and gave him a tackle hug where they took him into the ground. : Hmmm...I guess Ryoko must have phased them through. Otherwise, there would probably be some spinal fracturing. : Gee, thanks. Got another dissertation on the physics of anime ready, professor? "I'm ok thanks girls, now please get off" Tenchi said : I think he means "get me off". : Duo...you only have a certain number of chances, and we aren't even in the lemon section yet. *It looks like Tsunami was right and Ryoko forgot that I told Sesami that I loved her* He thought to himself. : We didn't forget, in case you were wondering. You sick disgusting pedophile. "Ok Ryoko you go help out Kyone and Mihoshi. And you Aeka go please help out grandfather." He said to the 2 girls. Aeka quickly got up. "Sesami? You're , What happened" She said in shock. "You're older" : Oh, she's older! That makes the sex OKAY. Wait, no it doesn't, because she's just a GODDAMNED EIGHT YEAR OLD IN A GROWN WOMAN'S BODY YOU SICK FREAK. Sesami looked at Aeka and then she looked back at Gene. Gene nodded and he broke off the hug. Sesami ran towards Aeka and hugged her. They walked into the house while Gene followed. : Threesome! : NO! NO NO NO NO NO! (pulls out a newspaper and begins whapping Duo with it) BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD! Sesami told Aeka everything. : You see, the author wants to fuck me, but he doesn't want to get attacked for being a pedophile, so he figured that by having me grow up suddenly, everything would be okay! Ryoko flew towards Kyone and Mihoshi. They picked up Kyone and slowly walked towards the house. Tenchi was all alone with Washu. He stood up and looked at her. "I'm sorry Washu, I can't believe I hit you will you ever forgive me?" Tenchi said as he stared at the ground. : Look, I can forgive the guy for raping me up the ass, I can forgive you for hitting me. "Tenchi it doesn't matter but what you said to Sesami. Did you mean that?" Washu said as she lifted his chin with her right hand. "No I didn't mean it. I thought that if I told her that I love her then she will live on and not die" Tenchi told Washu : Yes! I'm not a pedophile! Heh heh heh! "Look Washu I can never lie to you, you are a very important person to me" Tenchi said "Well except all those experiments" : Experiments are not very important people to me. "Tenchi you mean that about me being a important person to you?" Washu asked Tenchi while her eyes widened with amazement. "Yeah Washu seriously. Ryoko and Aeka are always trying to compete over me but I think that they don't even care about me" Tenchi said. : But you, the one who looks like a little girl...you are the one I truly love. BECAUSE I'M BEING WRITTEN BY A SICK PEDOPHILE. Then Washu gave Tenchi a big hug and he hugged her back. *No one can know the one I truly love* Tenchi thought to himself. "Hey lets go inside now" Tenchi broke off the hug and they walked inside the house. : And fuck like minks! In the living room Gene waited for Tenchi and as soon as he saw him he ran towards Tenchi. "Tenchi I'm so sorry for all the problems I cause. I understand if you want me to leave" Gene said with a worried look. : YES! LEAVE! "Haha now why would you say that Gene. I love you and you're my brother. I so happy that you found love" Tenchi said to Gene "But I can't believe that you sold your soul just for me" : Uh, he did? I thought he sold his soul so he wouldn't have to give blowjobs for food. "I don't care about that" Gene smiled at Tenchi. Then both their stomach started to growl. "Hey everyone lets order some food" Every one agreed and Tenchi went and made the phone call. Gene went to Kyone and he apologized to her. She didn't mind because she knew that it wasn't the real Gene. : Damn, Kiyone, you fell for THAT? : It's not me! I swear! Then Gene also apologized to Yosho and he also accepted. After Gene apologized. He thought to himself and he ran towards Tenchi while he was speaking on the phone. : Hey, Tenchi, apologize to the pizza guy for me! "Tenchi hold on a sec" Gene said to him. "Ehh hold on" Tenchi said to the restaurant worker. "What is it Gene?" "I just want you to get some special items" Gene said then he slowly whispered the items into Tenchis ear. : Oh, you naughty boy! I can't wait until we use them tonight! Tenchi was kind of shocked but he knew why Gene would need them. "Ohh and finally hide those things and put them into the refrigerator so no one can get to them" : Does their refrigerator have a time lock or something? Because otherwise it's pretty easy to get to them. "Ok Gene don't worry" Tenchi said as he smiled at Gene. Gene walked back to the living room and he saw that Washu was back in her lab. Nobuyuki and Yosho sat around the little table drinking sucke. : As opposed to reading "sucke", which is what we're doing. Then he looked kind of confused. He Aeka , Ryoko, Mihoshi and Kyone sitting in front of the television watching some police shows. : Is a sentence fragment. Gene walked towards the table and he sat beside Yosho and opposite Nobyuki. "What's going on? I thought that everyone would care more about everything that happened today" Gene said really confused. : YEAH! I THOUGHT SOMEBODY WOULD GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE DEATHS OF AZAKA AND KAMIDAKE! YOU BASTARDS! Yosho poured Gene a little glass full of sucke and passed it over to him. "Hehehe You see Gene since the first day these girls moved into this house crazy stuff has happened." Yosho said to Gene with a drunk smile. : Uh-oh, they're about to start making out! "Gene You shouldn't be drinking that" Gene looked over outside the kitchen and he saw Sesami standing there in different clothes giving him a smile. : Ooh, that's the sort of smile that says, "I'm wearing different clothes." If you know what I mean. "Come here you" Gene said. Sesami walked over to Gene and she sat on his lap "Now where did you get those clothes?" He asked her as he hugged her tightly. : Makes sense. She's probably trying to escape. "Well I went upstairs with you. You went to your room for some clothes and I looked in my room. Then I walked into my room and I saw these clothes on the floor with a letter from Tsunami" Sesami said : It says, "Dear Sasami, what we had was very special, but I just don't think I can go on like..." "Wow a letter from Tsunami?" Gene said looking at Sesami "Now what about the girls" "Well I told them everything while you chatted with Tenchi and when you got dressed" Sesami said "They are very happy for us especially Ryoko and Aeka because now they say that Tenchi is theirs" : Yeah, they were all afraid Gene was going to steal him away. "Haha very funny" Gene said. : No. It's not. Nothing in this is funny. He picked up the little glass and he drank it down. For a second his face turned red and steam came out of his ears. : Tonight, on "Sight Gags that Don't Work in Text"... Sesami started to giggle then Gene poured a glass and handed it over to Sesami. "Your turn babe" Gene said with a smile. "I don't know about this Gene" She said with a worried look. "I'll try it but it will be my first time" Sesami said. : Reinforcing the fact that SASAMI IS STILL A LITTLE GIRL, EVEN IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A BABE! "Hey tonight will be first night for a lot of things" Gene said in a seductive voice to her as he kissed her on the cheek. "Ohh sounds like fun what are you up to?" the drunk Nobuyuki said. "Hahaha it doesn't involve you dad" Gene said. "All right Sesami it's time to drink up" : Get her drunk and score. The Gene Mesaki motto. Gene slowly watched Sesami drink up the little shot glass or sucke, her face turned light pink for a second and then she shook her head. "Wow Gene I don't think I'll ever do that again" Sesami said to Gene. "I don't want you drinking this and turning bad" : Too late. "Turning bad?" Gene said. "That's right on television I saw that people turn violent and they made up excuses that they would never become drunk" Sesami said with a worried look. "Ok I wont drink ever again" Gene said as he moved his face closer to Sesamis. "This will be my last night. Now give me a Eskimo kiss" : Good God! He even treats her like an eight-year-old! "Well this won't be your last time but just watch out" Sesami said. "Ahh GIMME GIMME GIMME" Gene said. Their noses touched each others tips and they moved their heads side to side. "MMMM Hehehe" : All I can think is "Lolita". Ding dong the door bell rang and Gene got up to answer it. He saw a kid in a red shirt and a blue hat. He was around 18 years old and he looked like a nice guy. : Hey! He looks like a nice guy! Why not invite him to live in the house, like everybody else? "Your food is here" The guy said "Man you guys are fast" Gene said surprised "Well we where kissing for a while" Sesami said. She was quietly standing behind Gene. "Wow too bad it went so fast" Gene replied to her. : I bet Sasami's going to hear that phrase a lot tonight. "Excuse me" The guy said ruddily "That will be a 300" "Ehh say what?" Gene said : You need money to buy things? When did this happen? "Well I did have to go and get those special items you wanted" The guy said while he raised his right eyebrow. : Yeah, the EZ Cheez, the Club Crackers, and a six-pound block of pig fat. "Right!! Well thank you very much" Gene put his hand in his pocket and pulled. He gave the guy his money and called for Tenchi. : Tenchi, we can start the fun! "Thank you very much" The guy said and he walked away. "And have lots of fun" : What, you want to join in? There's plenty of room for you. "Yeah thanks, bye" Gene said. Then Tenchi came and Gene gave him the plastic bag with the special items in it "You know where to put there right?" : Yep, right up my-- : NO! You've said too much already. : Man, and that was a good one. "Yes I do" Tenchi said "Thanks for paying. I went and set the table." "Gene. What's in that bag?" Sesami said as they all walked back into the living room. But Tenchi went into the kitchen. : Oops! Forgot to add that about Tenchi entering another room. Sorry 'bout that! "It's nothing" Gene re assured her. He looked at the table and he saw everyone sitting around it with their chopsticks in their hand. "Geez your all animals" : Hunger. How uncouth. "Excuse me but who are you calling an animal? If it was not for the attack you did on us. We would not be so low on energy and so hungry" Aeka said. : Wait, isn't that a plot device from Dragon Ball? And Digimon? But not Tenchi? : Wow. It's almost like he's not entirely sure what he's writing about. "I'm sorry" Gene said "Ahh don't worry about it Gene our little princess here is just upset that her little sister is a lot prettier than she is. At least you bought the food for us" Ryoko said. : Yeah, normally Gene's a colossal spendthrift. He has to save money, what with his superstar *laugh* boxing career! "GRRrrrr At least I'm a lot prettier than you. YOU YOU MONSTER" said Aeka as she yelled at Ryoko. "Wait girls please don't fight in the house." Tenchi said as he quickly sat between them. : Yes, strip down and fight in a pit of mud! Gene and Sesami sat besides each other. Tenchi had ordered lots of different kinds of food like Gene favorite. Mongolian Beef, Sushi, Fish...etc. a lot of food was there. Through the meal Gene and Sesami couldn't stop feeding each other. Sesami out food into Genes mouth and Gene did the same thing to Sesami. : Hey, don't shove this sh--*munch munch* : Ha! Take that, bi--*munch munch* : Yeah, asshole. Suck it down. Ryoko looked at them in jealousy then she said "Tenchi when will we do that?" "You will never do such things with Lord Tenchi" Aeka said. "Ahh you 2 should get a room" Nobuyuki said. He was still very drunk : Yeah, arguing right here at the table! You sluts! Everyone laughed at Nobuyuki even Yosho. They quietly well almost quietly everyone finished their meal. Gene kept on giggling with Sesami and Aeka kept on arguing with Ryoko. After dinner everyone was really tired and stuffed. They decided to go to bed early. Well everyone except Sesami and Gene. : Perhaps we'll be lucky and they'll never go to bed. Sesami went to her room with Aeka. Then she got undressed and she took a shower. : With Ayeka? Sick! Meanwhile Gene took a shower and shaved. : Let's see...I think this looks like a "G". He knew that Sesami was coming tonight. Gene went into his room and changed his bed sheets to silk sheets that he bought at the mall. He got 2 candles that had a sweet smell. Gene was never so excited before about a girl. : Yeah, the rest were just cheap whores. : Hey! : Oh, that's right. He nailed you in the first one, didn't he? In that case, they were just cheap whores and you. : Thanks. I think. "Aeka I'm going to go sleep on the couch and watch TV" Sesami said as she came into the room. "Mmmmm Tenchi" Aeka said to herself. She was dreaming about having sex with Tenchi again. : That makes one person in this household who ISN'T fantasizing about nailing a little girl. "Enough with the dreams" Sesami said to herself. She walked out of her room. Then she quietly tip toed to Genes room. She quietly turned the knob. Gene heard and he hopped into bed after he turned the lights of. He acted that he was sleeping. : OH, NOT AGAIN! : Huh? : In the last chapter, Gene almost molested Sasami "in his sleep". The last thing we need to remember right now is what a sick pedophile he is. Sesami walked in and she was amazed at the sight of the red bed sheets and the sweet smell of the red candles. *Hmm maybe he was expecting me* : Ya think? She thought to herself. She closed and locked the door. Then walked over and she saw Gene sleeping. "Gene" She whispered. : There's no way on Earth I'm going to have sex with you. Enjoy the scented candles, perv. "Wha wha what is it?" Gene said. He slowly opened his eyes and he saw Sesami standing there next to his bed. ~~~~~~~~~GENES POINT OF VIEW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ : OH, GOD DAMMIT! : What now? : All of the lemon sections are from "GENES POINT OF VIEW". I guess so we can more accurately fantasize nailing a young girl if we had no idea about sex. : I am going to drink this entire fic away. : You wish. I opened my eyes and I saw Sesami in a pink T-shirt with baby blue shorts. I was acting tired but it was hard for me to hide it because I was so excited about her coming tonight. : Please, don't say "coming". Just wait until the lemon section so you can scar my youthful mind then. : Um...(whistles and looks at the ground) "Gene you don't mind if we cuddle up tonight. Your room is so much nicer than mine and Aeka is having those special dreams about Tenchi and she is really loud sometimes" Sesami said to me. *Cuddle up* I though. Then I said "Sure Sesami I have some very bad things to tell you." : I'm gay. Very gay. So gay, in fact, that there will be no shitty lemon portion of this fic. "What is it?" She said. She slowly laid down beside me. I was on my left side so I could look at her. "You know when I still had that thing in me?" I told her I tried to look as worried as I could. : What, the dick up your ass? Yeah, we all remember. "Yes that's right. I remember" She said. "Well that thing made me sleep with Washu and Kyone" I told her. : Oh, okay. That's a great excuse. "The virus made me nail other chicks!" I'll have to remember that one. : You'll have to get a girlfriend to cheat on, first. I couldn't even look at her. I turned to my right side and prayed to myself. I told her "I understand if you never want to see me again" : LEAVE HIM! LEAVE HIM! LEAVE HIM! I felt right hand come under me and her left hand on top. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and said "Look Gene I don't care what you did with them. I know that evil was inside you and all that I care about is that I'll have you for the rest of my life." : DAMMIT! : Is that Sasami, or someone really fucking stupid? I was shocked. I can't believe she just told me that. I said "You mean that?" Then I slowly turned to my left and I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Yes I do Gene. I don't care for them as long as I have you." She said in a seductive voice. : It doesn't matter if you care for him. He has to care for you. "I love you Sesami. and I want to make you happy for the rest of my life" I told her. : The rest of her life, my ass. They'll all be on Springer within a month. "Ohh I love you so much Gene" She told me as he came in close to me for a passionate kiss. We kissed and I felt her little tongue come into my mouth. I slowly sucked on her tongue and I put my tongue in her mouth. She kept on giving little moans. : Huh. Guess the chick'll actually cum first for a change. : Maybe that's the way it always goes for you... I slowly kissed down her neck and to her shirt. Then she stopped. "Gene this is my first time, please be gentle" she told me. "Don't worry Sesami nothing will ever hurt you as long as I am around." I told her. : Unless I get there to slap the bitch upside her head! : Uh, Ken? : What, fool? : Nevermind. She slowly sat up. Then she put her hands on her waist and lifted her shirt. I was stunned as I looked at her body. : Yeah. You were expecting an eight-year-old, weren't you? YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE! "Please don't look Gene" She told me. She got up and she slowly pulled down her shorts. Then she slowly climbed back in bed. "Why Sesami?" I asked her as I couldn't stop starring at her milk white body. Who would have guessed that her pussy hair was the same as hair : Who would have guessed, indeed. Hair is basically the same all over one's body. I would have thought that tentacles sprouted from her pubes, or something. : We've corrupted him, Duo. His fragile mind is forever warped. : I know. I'm so proud. "Because I am very shy about my figure" She said. She didn't even look at me. "Sesami I love everything about you. You have the most beautiful body I have ever seen" I told her. : Although, your old one was a lot better in my opinion. "You don't mean that, you just want to have sex with me. That's why you changed your sheets and you put the candles up." She said. : Holy shit! Common sense! Run, girl, run! "Sesami I mean everything I just told you. All the other girls are jealous of you. They always stare at you." I said. Then she slowly looked at me and I looked into her deep pink eyes. "Those 2 candles symbolize us Sesami, but not like the candle my love for you will never die out." : So, they symbolize your love, except they don't, because they're different from your love. I think I'm confused. : Perhaps the two candles symbolize how there are two of them. Or something. : Thanks. That's much better. I slowly laid down to her right side and I put my head on her shoulder. "If you want I can never have sex with you as long as I get to hug you and be by your side." I couldn't believe I just said that. : Neither can we. It's such an obvious lie to get her to sleep with you. She laughed and said " You always sleep naked Gene?" I looked down and I saw my hard dick. SHIT I couldn't believe I forgot to wear underwear. "Yeah so" I said She stopped laughing and she said " I have never seen a man penis before and this close" : Once again driving home the point that she was an eight-year-old less than twenty-four hours ago. She took her left hand and she ran her index finger down my abs and she slowly grabbed the sides of my dick. Her soft hands made me moan instantly. "Wait STOP" I said. : Yeah, stop this scene. You're both overacting the passion. : Oh, your handshake is so firm! OH GOD, YES! SHAKE MY HAND! SHAKE MY HAND! : Do that again, please. : Yes. And throw back your head and arch your back, this time. : Perverts. "Did I do something wrong Gene?" She said as she let go of my dick. "No no no it's just that I had something planned for you" I told her as seductively as I could. : Alright, put on these Sailor Moon panties and this second grader uniform. Now, call me "daddy". : Duo, the line has been crossed. After the MST, you get a ten second head start. I made her lie down totally still. "Ok Gene" She said. Then I reached under the bed and I pulled out a little plastic bag. "These are the special items I made the kid buy for me" I said : God, Gene. Can you possibly NOT manipulate children for a few scenes? then I took out a little white cardboard box and I took out a can of whip cream from the bag. He charged me a lot for 2 items. I put the white box on her left side and the whip cream on her right side. I knelt down over her legs parallel to her. : You know, if you look on the big list of erotic words, I doubt you'll find "parallel". My dick laid right on top of her pussy. I put it there just to see how wet she will get. She was starting to get wet. I slowly opened the box and she saw the fruit inside. "Ah strawberries" She said with a smile. : I think Gene's more interested in cherries tonight. : Dammit, Duo, I'm going to-- : --what? Kill me again? : Great work, Kiyone. You've pretty much given Duo a license to say whatever he wants. "That's right" I said " I want to make this as romantic as possible" : Too late. I picked up one of the strawberries and put it by her mouth. She understood and she took a bite. Then I had the half bitten strawberry over her left nipple. The juice started to drip onto her nipple. With every drop she let out a little moan. "Hmmm Gene" She said. : Stop with the moaning already! Wait until you're actually having sex! I let another couple of drops on her left nipple and then I placed the bitten strawberry on her right nipple. The strawberries were fresh and cold. I just brought them up from the refrigerator. I felt her pre-cum coming out of her pussy and getting wetter under my balls. : And now, we see the ignorance, as it flows forth like so much pre-cum from Sasami's pussy. : I would rebuke you, but that was much more erotic than the actual fic. I lowered my head and started to like her left nipple. Then I sucked on her nipple and she moaned a little louder, I felt her nipple getting harder and harder. After I liked and sucked all the juices off I started to nibble on the nipple. I took little bites and she was enjoying this. : Ugh...cannibalism fetish. Ugh. My right hand was occupied with messaging her ass and my left hand was messaging her right breast. "How do you like it so far?" I asked "Please don't stop Gene" She said, every move I did and she watched. : Writing with one hand results in a lot of mistakes, doesn't it? I felt her pussy getting wetter and wetter. I ate the strawberry on her nipple and I took out another one from the box. I took a bit and I let the juice drip onto her right nipple and breast. Again I liked her breast clean. : If you like her breasts clean, why do you keep putting food on them? Then I sucked and finally I nibbled. I raised my right knee and I took her left leg from under me and I put it around my waist. : Isn't that a wrestling move? Then I did the same with her right left. Her legs where wrapped around me. I watched her eat another strawberry and she sucked on it. Some of the juices that she didn't get dripped down her cheeks. : Geez, a sloppy eater. She sucked the strawberry dry and then she ate it. I reached for the whip cream and I shook the can. : BOOM! It explodes and kills you both. The end. I started to spray her from about a inch above her pussy hair to the bottom of her neck. She had a white line on whip cream separating her left and right side. : Now that I've prepped the patient, I'll just make an incision along this line... I broke her wrap around me and I lowered myself just above her pussy. I gave her a kiss on her pussy lips and I licked of her pre-cum off. She moaned and she arched her back. She thought that I was going to lick her but I was just teasing her. : What an asshole! I licked at the bottom of the whip cream line. Every couple of inches my mouth was full of whip cream so I had to swallow it. : Or, you could just let it run out of your mouth and play "rabid dog". She was loving every second of this and so was I. After I licked her belly button clean I had to spray some more whip cream and I had to lick of more. It made her giggle and it made her very, very erotic. : Adjectives he doesn't know how to use! Sex he doesn't know the mechanics of! Grammar he doesn't even seem to know about! Is there anything this guy DOES know? After I licked her belly button clean like 4 times I slowly started to lick higher and higher. I got to the valley between her breast and my dick was beating faster than my heart. I wanted to be in her so bad. I liked between her breast for a while and then she started to tell me something. : Get the FUCK off of me, please! "Gene Please stop teasing me" She said, she sounded like she was begging for me. "I need you now Gene PLEASE" "Ok but if this hurts please tell me" I said to her. She wrapped her legs around me and I kneeled. I grabbed my dick with my right hand and I placed it a little into her pussy lips. I put it deep enough to fell her hymen. : "Fell her hymen"? Is he cutting it down, or something? : TIM-BER! I laid on top of her and she digged her nails into my back she was nervous that it would hurt and I was nervous that I would hurt her too. I started to move my hips forward and closer to her hips. I felt my dick piercing into her. : Piercing? Did he sharpen it or something? : I'd like to sharpen it. With a nail file. I pushed harder and harder and she begged me to push harder. She didn't want to stop now. : As opposed to everyone else, I suppose. I pushed harder and harder. I felt like my dick was about to break but then suddenly I ripped her. : Geezus, is her hymen reinforced with concrete or something? "Ohh" She cried and a few tears came down her cheeks. I stopped to check on her but before I saw able to say anything she said "Don't slow down, this is so much fun. And very kinky" : Yeah, the blood. And the pain. All so kinky. "Ok well if anything feels wrong tell me ok?" I said to her. I must have been a fool because I totally forgot how good her tight pussy felt. I moved my hips back and forth really slowly and I felt her muscles closing tightly around the shaft of my dick. She was pulling me in. So I went in. Her warm pre-cum made her pussy smooth. "Oh oh oh oh oh oh Gene" She said " I love you Gene and I want you deep inside me Gene" : Oh oh oh oh. This is so not erotic. "I love you more and I never want to break apart" I told her. "Gene something is happening" She said she was in so much pleasure but she tried to look worried. : I think I'm realizing how sick this is. "Whats wrong?" I asked her "I feel like I'm going to explode Gene I don't know what to do" She said. : Oh, goddammit, could you at least give us a chance to forget that you're nailing an eight-year old? "Let it out, Im going to cum too I'm just about to reach my climax" I told her. Then I finally cummed. I moaned a little. "Oh GEEEEENNNNNEEEE" She said as she was gasping for air. I could see that she was so relieved. " We have to do some more of that tomorrow night" : We can celebrate my ninth birthday! I could feel her cum surrounding my dick. Then I removed my dick out of her and I cummed all over her legs. I did the same thing with Kyone and Washu but I cummed in their asses. When I pulled out she didn't even notice. : Yeah, I bet she didn't notice when you put it in, either. "Yeah and we will do different positions and we'll do foreplay too!" I said all excited. I was out of breath. : Ah, youthful exuberance. Like, say, an eight-year-old would have. "Other positions?" she asked gasping for air. "Yeah lots" I said. Then I slowly moved down for a kiss. "Gene, before you cummed you pulled your penis out. Why did you do that?" She asked : STOP REITERATING THAT SHE'S AS EXPERIENCED AS AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD AT SEX! *SHIIIIIT* I thought. Then I told her "Well I didn't want you to get pregnant. I'll do it in you when we get some special pills from Washu" "Ohh Gene" She said. Then I laid down next to her and she put her head on chest. "You care too much for me" : Yeah, not wanting to get you pregnant so he'll be forced to stay with you out of duty to the child. He cares so much. "That's cause I love you" I said. Then I slowly reached for the box of strawberries and said "Lets eat these while they are fresh" She then raised herself and put her head on the pillow beside mine. : Did she lop it off, or something? I slowly put a strawberry in her mouth (The stem parts were cut of). When it was in her mouth she let out a little "MMMMmmmm" Then she sucked on my fingers and licked them clean. : END! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE JUST END! We fed each other the strawberries. She sucked and licked my fingers clean and I sucked and licked her fingers clean. After we finished the strawberries we felt kind of dirty. : Join the club. "Gene my legs are too sticky, I wont be able to fall asleep" she said. Then I looked at her legs and I touched my sticky cum. "Opps sorry" I said : I didn't mean to accidentally put my dick in you, and push it in and out, then ejaculate. My bad. "Its ok Gene" She said while she ran her fingers up and down my chest. "Hey lets go take a shower together, and then we can have some foreplay sex. If you have the energy for it. Plus we have rested for enough time to have sex again" : I don't know, I get the feeling that this is one of those purely physical relationships. I said. I was getting really excited. "Ok sounds like fun Gene" She said. I can hear her voice getting a little excited. : Wanna play hopscotch afterwards? We both got up quietly and I gave her one of my bath robes. We put on the bath ropes and I checked my watch and it was nearly 2 am. I opened the door and checked to see if anyone was around. : Hmmm...Washu, Ayeka, Ryoko, Sasami, Mihoshi, Tenchi, Kiyone...coast is clear! Let's go! "Ok lets go" I said. I held her hand and we walked into the bathroom. We went into the male one because someone could have been in the hot spring. : Is spontaneous early morning bathing a big problem in this house? I locked the door behind me and she turned on the shower. She took her robe of and I quickly did the same. We both hopped into the shower and started to kiss and shove each others tongues down our throats. : Oh, I see. It's Gene Simmons from KISS. That explains how the tongue gets down her throat. The steam of the warm water quickly fogged the room. "It time for some foreplay" I said while I raised my right eyebrow. : Um...you do that before sex. Hence the "fore-" prefix. She smiled and she nodded her head. I kneeled down in the shower and I kissed her pussy. I opened her lips with my hand and I started to lick inside her. She moaned in please and put her hands behind my head. She shoved my head into her pussy. : WOAH! That's some elasticity. I licked further and further. I could feel her body shake with please and she said "Its happening Gene. You don't have to drink it" I said "But I want to, I want you inside me forever" : There is so much wrong with that on so many levels. But in the interest of brevity, I won't point them all out. Her pussy muscles squeezed around the sides of my tongue and sucked me in deeper. I felt it twitch. She moaned. Then she started to cum and I started to drink. Her semen was so warm and so sweet. : SEMEN? Did she just change sexes? She kept on shooting her loads into my mouth and I kept on drinking. : Um...okay...did he just...wait a second...but she's... : Pause for a second, Duo. Think. Think. : Okay. I just want to state, for the record, that this guy seems to base all lemon scenes around his experience sucking cock. I licked her totally clean and gave her a little kiss on the pussy lips. "You should shave that pussy hair sometime." I said in a joke way. "Thank you Gene and I'll do anything you want." She said as I slowly got up. : Geez. She's already his bitch. I gave her a kiss and then she slowly kneeled down. The warm water was spraying on my chest and Sesami was starting to play around with my dick. My dick hardened straight away, and she started to drewl at the site of my dick right in front of her. : Wait, I need to correct myself. She's a slut. She put her right hand around the shaft of my dick and she was cupping my balls with her left hand. She kept on gently squeezing and messaging my balls. : Man. How does heterosexual sex come off as so gay in this fic? : I think it has something to do with the fact that the only thing this guy can write even semi-decently at all is cocksucking. Like he's experienced, or something. She slowly started to move her small hand up and down my dick. The felling of her soft hand, messaging of my balls and the warm water on my upper body nearly made me explode right there. : Yes! Blow up! Die! End the wretched fic! She saw that in my face and she put my dick in her mouth. "MMmmmm Taste so good" She said with a full mouth of my dick. : Can she throw her voice? : For my next act, I'm going to sing "Last Rose of Summer" while swallowing this cock! Her mouth was warm and wet. I felt her little tongue running from side to side of my dick. She was desperate to take in more of my dick. So she put her hands on my ass and she moved her head closer and closer to the bottom of my dick. : Geez. What a goddamn slut. You wouldn't even remember that she's EIGHT YEARS OLD. I wasn't able to put my dick in her all the way so I needed to know if she could do it. She put my entire dick in her mouth and made little vacuum noises. I can tell you that she sucked me like one too. The feeling was like total ecstasy. : It was like it. But not really. Just similar. I started to cum into her mouth. She didn't know what to do so she started to swallow my cum. I was some of it spilling out of her mouth and down her chin. I kept on cumming and cumming. "MMmmm more Gene" She said until I was dried out. : *coughSLUTcough* "How did you like that Sesami?" I asked her with my smile from ear to ear. "I loved it!" She said. : I repeat: *coughSLUTcough* We washed each other clean with soap, shampoo and conditioner. We got out and went back to my room. Since we had sex on top of the sheet the underneath was clean. : Yeah. Thank God liquids don't travel through fabric, or anything. I took off my robe and climbed under my covers. I laid down and watched her slowly strip off the robe. Then she slowly came down and laid by my side. We put our arm around each other and she wrapped her legs around my body. My dick was pressed by her pussy. : NO! NO MORE SEX SCENES! "Thank you for everything Gene" Sesami said. "No I should be thanking you. Next time we will be using many different techniques and maybe some leather with a whip!" I said : Or a noose! Or a shotgun! Or arsenic! "A WHIP?" She said really confused. "Hehehe just joking" I said. Then we slowly kissed each other and fell asleep by each others side. : How amazingly unromantic. ~~~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~~~~~~~ So what did you all think? : It stinks. I think thats my best one yet but I have some crazy ideas for the future stories and some people make a huge come back!! : Like Azaka? Or Kamidake? Both of whom you callously and offhandedly killed? YOU BASTARD! IF I EVER FIND YOU, I'LL KILL YOU! E-mail me and tell me what you thought of the story CMDR_DUFF@YAHOO.COM dont forget vote for me! : Yeah! Mr. Sinister for President! Of a small Balkan nation that's about to be bombed out of existence, preferably. : Alright, back to the hot springs! ____________________________________________________________________ And now, the dramatic conclusion of... THE OBLIGATORY HOT SPRINGS EPISODE! This time, all of our MSTers had gathered in the same onsen, in order to better discuss the fic. They were wearing bathing suits, of course. To prevent an orgy from breaking out, because nobody wants another goddamned lemon scene at this point. "So, how was the fic?" Cyrus asked. "GIVE ME MY GODDAMNED ALCOHOL!" yelled Kiyone. "That good, huh?" asked Cyrus. "Well, I liked how the author didn't seem to stop reiterating that Sasami was pretty much 8 goddamned years old throughout the lemon scene. That was very tasteful, you fucker," Duo said. "I agree," said Misato. "That it was very tasteful?" asked Cyrus. "No, that you should GIVE US THE GODDAMNED ALCOHOL!" she yelled. "Okay, okay. I guess if you want to get liquored up and discover then next morning that you slept with Duo and Ken and God forbid me, it's your perogative." Misato and Kiyone looked at each other, then looked at the bottle of alcohol, then back at each other again. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't sleep with any of them," came a voice from behind them. "Yay!" said the girls as they leapt at the alcohol to drink away the pain of the fic. Cyrus looked at the speaker and swore. "Fucking plot device." ____________________________________________________________________ I'd like to thank a jar of bad tartar sauce for most of the middle scene in there with Satan. Boys and girls, ALWAYS check the date on mayonnaise-based products. Trust me on this one. Also, in following the example of the one and only MST3K, I'd like to thank the Authors of the First Amendment. You guys rock! Email me with suggestions, questions, and flames at rowsdower@seanbaby.com. And be sure to visit my websit at www.dabrits.co.uk/spacklecube so you can find out just how much Fist of the North Star sucks. Eyecatch #1: "Well there you have it Tsunami. I win there is no true love in this millennium. The heaven won the all the time till now. Earth will belong to me and I will add this place to my collection." Satan said as he laughed with the evilest laugh ever. It send shivers down everyone's spine. Eyecatch #2: "Oh oh oh oh oh oh Gene" She said " I love you Gene and I want you deep inside me Gene" Eyecatch #3: Gene flew towards the guardians, and he cut the guardian logs into little pieces. : GODDAMMIT! BURN IN HELL, ALL OF YOU! YOU SHOULD ALL DIE! DIEEEEEEE!