*DISCLAIMER* I claim ownership over none of the characters in this story. Even the character that is an imaginary manifestation of myself. For all I know, someone has copyrighted me, and if they have that much power, I don't want to piss them off. Kiyone is property of Pioneer/AIC. Duo is property of Sotsu Agency and Sunrise. Ken and Wormon are property of Toei Animation and Saban. And probably Fox. Oh, and since Mr. Sinister neglects to mention it, the story contained within is a lemon, so no kids! Okay! *DISCLAIMER* The HMS Zap Rowsdower. A former experimental Canadian spacecraft, stolen by an unwitting teenage tourist, Cyrus Marriner. It is on this newly acquired spaceship that this young man dedicates himself to one sole purpose...to make the universe a better place. To boldly seek out evil in all of its forms and destroy it with extreme prejudice. Unfortunately, he really doesn't have the time to do all of that, and the ship is really complicated, so he just decides to make fun of really bad Tenchi Muyo fan fiction. Using advanced Canadian technology, Cyrus Marriner reaches into the fabric of time and space and pulls together a crew of individuals who can handle the severe mental strain of reading bad fan fiction. Unless they can't. Thus, Cyrus assembles his team: Kiyone Makibi - Galaxy Police officer Duo Maxwell - Gundam pilot Ken Ichijouji - Digidestined and Wormon - Digimon and pilot Everyone on the HMS Zap Rowsdower was assembled in the lounge, being briefed by Cyrus on their important mission. They were all taking it with stoic resolve, except for Kiyone. She was crying. "What's wrong, Kiyone?" Cyrus asked. "You said we're going to be doing bad Tenchi Muyo fan fiction?" she asked, regaining her composure. "Yeah," replied Cyrus, unsure of where this was going. "And I would imagine we're going to be doing some lemons, right?" she continued. "I suppose so," Cyrus suspiciously answered. "And some of them would have me in them, wouldn't they?" she finished. "Uh, yeah." Kiyone stood up and yelled at Cyrus. "CAN YOU SEE WHERE I MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM?" "Well, I suppose," answered Cyrus. "Hey," called Duo, turning around from where he was playing Dreamcast with Ken. "What are we MSTing today, anyway?" Cyrus looked down at the clipboard. "Uh, chapter one of 'The Gene Mesaki Saga.'" "Is it a lemon?" asked Ken. "Yep." "Who's in it?" asked Duo. Cyrus consulted his clipboard, and paled suddenly. "Uh," he said, nervously looking at Kiyone, "it doesn't say." Suddenly alarms went off in the lounge. "What the hell is that?" Duo yelled over the whooping sirens. "It's the fanfic alert!" Cyrus yelled back. "Why couldn't you just tell us to get in the theater?" Ken hollered, covering his ears. "I didn't think it would be as effective!" Cyrus yelled. "WHAT?" yelled Ken. "I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE AS EFFECTIVE!" Cyrus yelled. "WHAT?" yelled Ken. "THEATER!" Cyrus yelled, motioning to the door. He pointed at Wormon. "BRIDGE!" he yelled, moving his arm to point at the elevator. As Wormon hopped away towards the elevator, the MST team, covering their ears, ran into the theater. As soon as they were all inside, the doors closed behind them, turning off the alarm and leaving the lounge in silence. _______________________________________________________________ (Inside the theater. Everyone is sitting down in the front row) : Uh, why is there a movie theater in an experimental Canadian spacecraft? : Well, according to the design docs I've found, this is like a colony ship. It's not as much Canadian, as it is...uh, what's the word for people from Quebec? : Er...Quebeckianers. : Quebeckianer, then. : Huh? : Well, you know how Quebec wants to separate from Canada, right? : No. : Well, they do. Anyway, they were going to use this ship to leave Canada and find a planet where they could live as Quebeckianers. Then they could transfer their entire population to this new, Quebeckianer planet. Because they might be in space for a while, they put in a theater. :Oh. : Shhhh! The fic is starting! Hey again, I know this is going to be a crazy lemon story. : We are two wild and crazy Czechoslovakian lemon stories! : If that's going to be the quality of the jokes in this story, this is going to get old really fast. : Hey, I thought it was pretty funny! : (Shakes head) Actually this little saga came to me in a dream. Psycho eh? : Well, I've had one or two episodes of psychosis, and I never dreamt of bad lemon stories. So I'd have to say you're just a pervert. However, there was that one, involving Wormon and Gatomon and the pancake batter (notices everyone staring at him) but I'll just keep that to myself. : Good boy. Hope you like the starter of the saga!! : Don't hold your breath. Wait, on second thought, do hold your breath, until you pass out with brain damage. : If you don't already have brain damage. : True. If he's writing this fic, he probably does. I don't own shit except Gene : Wow, that's one airtight disclaimer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ : Hey, it's all the accents left over from when El Niņo was always on the news! : *sigh* Gene Mesaki Saga Part I "Hi Gene" : I bet he got the inspiration for this title from his latest sexaholics anonymous meeting. : They probably kicked him out after he revealed he writes bad lemon fanfics. : Yeah, even perverts have standards. : Who is this Gene guy, anyway? : Oh, he's Tenchi's brother. : But...but... : I know. His last name is spelled wrong, and his first name isn't even Japanese. Just smile and nod. ~By Mr .Sinister~ : Let's see...Mr. Sinister was an evil sadist who lived only to cause pain an misery to a small group of exceptional individuals. Yeah, I can see the parallel. Except for the exceptional part. It was a peace full Saturday at the house. The sun was very bright. : As opposed to being a void of darkness, I suppose. Birds were singing in the woods. Yep it was a very boring day at the Mesaki house. : As a matter of fact, it was so boring, everybody just stayed in bed and decided not to be in the fanfic. The End. "Hi Tenchi!" said Ryoko. As she says everyday, and every morning. Just as Tenchi wakes up. "Will you give me some peace? Just let me wake up one day with peace." Tenchi said. Really tired. "What day is it?" He got up and started to walk towards the door. : Hey, aren't you even going to wait for the answer. : Yeah, leaving rooms before someone answers your question can be a bad habit. : Hey, Ryoko, did you fix the floor outside of my room? (CRASH!) Ow. Nevermind. "It's Saturday Tenchi, you said that you would take me out into the town tonight" Ryoko said very seductively. : Oh, it's a standard characterization archetype. : What? : In lemons, particularly bad ones, the authors tend to have Ryoko seduce Tenchi, Ayeka act like a bitch, Mihoshi act like a moron, Kiyone complain about everything, etc. : I don't complain about everything! It's just that Mihoshi--(notices everyone looking at her). Oh. Nevermind. As she flew towards Tenchi and put her hand on his shoulder. : Knowing Ryoko, her other hand is on his crotch. : Unless it's the Toonami version, in which case her hand will be in the most nonsexual place they can get it, preferably his other shoulder. Or Russia. "GEEZ it's Saturday??? That means that I have to go to the carrot field all day today... HEY WAIT A SECOND" Tenchi said looking annoyed "I never agreed to a date, nice try." : I gotta admit, you almost got me there! Of course, I'm a fucking moron! : Come on, Duo. He's not that stupid. It's just the author. Oh, and try to watch the language. : Sorry, I tend to get pi--I mean mad--at people who can't figure out when chicks are throwing themselves at him. I mean, this guy's worse than Heero! Relena throws herself at him, and he tries to kill her! I mean, what the hell is up with-- : Duo. : Yeah? : Shut up. "Darn it.. Almost had him" Ryoko said as she flew through the ground to the living room. : All that work on the elaborate plan of lying to him has gone to waste! I spent four whole days on that! Tenchi walked out of the room towards to bathroom. He washed his face and got cleaned up. He got out and went downstairs to the dinning table. He sat down at his regular seat. : Wow. We're what, about seven paragraphs in, and the crisp Mr. Sinister writing style is already falling apart. : I know. That last paragraph reads like a to-do list. : Walk out of room and go to bathroom. Check. Wash face and get cleaned up. Check. Go downstairs to the *stifled laugh* "dinning" table? : If you think that's funny, I can imagine you're going to laugh your head off at this fic. "Oh high Lord Tenchi" Aeka said as she came down the stairs and walked toward her seat next to Tenchi. : High Lord Tenchi? Was he promoted or something? : No, I just think he was smoking a little-- : No. : But all I wanted to say was that he smokes-- : No. : Damn. "Hey Aeka, Hi Sesami, Mihoshi, Kyone, Washu, Dad and Grandpa" Tenchi greeted every one as they came around the table and sat down. : Oh, wow. I think I'm going to have fun with that spelling of Sasami. : Glad you're happy. You've probably never seen your name butchered that badly. : My name is Cyrus. Are you kidding me? : True, true. They all greeted Tenchi back. Everyone sat in their normal seat. It was a quiet and normal breakfast. : "Quiet and normal?" Isn't that kind of contradictory in this house? : I was thinking the same thing. "C'mon Tenchi eat some of this" Ryoko said as she tried to hand feed Tenchi. : At least she's not trying to breast feed him. : Dammit, do I need to go over this with you? : What? : Don't give the fanfic authors ideas! : Sorry. "Leave Lord Tenchi alone" Aeka said starting to get very angry. She grabbed Ryokos hand and pushed it aside. : Oh, looks like the "quiet and normal" breakfast is about to end. On the other side of the table. Mihoshi was playing around with her food. : Alright, food, I'm going to pass the ball, and I want you to shoot the final shot. The clock's running out, and I'm counting on you. Alright, break! And accidentally she hit the side of the plate and a piece of fish flew across the room and hit the remote control. The T.V turned on to a sports channel. : Wow, what are the odds of that? It was some Japanese fighter against the world champion. "Oh I'll get that Mihoshi" Tenchi said as he got up. He looked at the screen and froze. He started to stutter "G..E..N..E?" : What the hell sort of a Japanese name is that? Tenchis eyes widened as wide as they could. He couldn't believe what he saw. It was highlights of last nights boxing fight. : There, we see one fighter hit the other. Oh! There's another punch. Wow, there's more violence here than a meeting of the Russian parliament! "So Gene, you've won the boxing heavyweight championship of the world.... What will you do now?" : I would say "I'm going to Disneyland!" but that would just be stupid. : Good boy. Said the sports broadcaster. He was talking to this young man in his early 20's. He had long black hair. 6 foot 2, and his body looked like it was a machine. : Specifically, a washing machine. He looked like he didn't have a single pound of fat in his body. He was also a vary handsome man. : Yeah, his name is Gene, and he's a six-foot-two boxer. This guy is about as Japanese as a 10-inch-- : Duo... : Uh, New York-style deep-dish pizza! Yeah, that's what I was going to say! "Hmmm well I don't know, I guess I'll do what all athletes do when they win something big." Gene said very calmly. : Do drugs until their career is in the gutter? : Have a child out of wedlock? : Be party to a gang shooting? : Get arrested for soliciting a prostitute? "You eh going to Disneyland?" The broadcaster said. : You knew that was coming didn't you, Cyrus? : What do you mean? : When you made the crack earlier, about Disneyland. : Well...woah! Better pay attention! The fanfic isn't going to stop just for us! Heh heh! He was a very geekish man, with amazingly thick glasses that made Gene giggle sometimes. : Wow, now this guy is the epitome of masculinity! : He has funny glasses! Tee hee! "No, I'm gonna hit the strip bar!" Gene said with a little grin on his face. He turned and walked away. He got out of the ring and started walking towards the locker. People couldn't stop cheering for him. : MO-RON! MO-RON! MO-RON! "There he goes! There goes one of the worlds greatest boxers. GENE MESAKI" the little man said. : Well, despite the obvious visual differences, I almost thought he was related to me! Fortunately, his name is spelled differently! I don't think I could stand to have an idiot like him in the family! Yosho spit out his food and Nobuyuki took a big gulp. : Is there suddenly a 7-11 in their house? "EHHH Did he just say Gene mesaki?" Nobuyuki said with a worried look on his face. : "EHHH?" What sort of an interjection is "EHHH?" : It's a subordinate ignorant conjunctive! (Ken and Cyrus both laugh heartily.) : Grammatical humor...great. "Yes I believe so.." Yosho said calmly before he was interrupted. : You know, if it weren't for the second period, I would have thought Yosho had finished talking. : That would make it hard to interrupt him, wouldn't it? : You ruined that joke with the explanation. : Yeah, but it was pretty weak to begin with. This banter is much more entertaining! : *sigh* "You lied to me, BOTH of you. My father and my grandfather. How could you do that?" Tenchi said with burning fire in his eyes. : Wow, did Sasami put too many spices in the food? "We had no choice Tenchi. He left us" Yosho replied. : Yeah, sorry about the whole "we sold your brother to a farm where he'll be happier" story. "Why did you lie?" Tenchi said as a tear came down his left cheek. "You could have told me the truth" He said. : YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! : Nice dual impression. "Who.. who is Gene?" Ryoko said ruddily interrupting the important conversation. : "ruddily." That's a new one. "GENE, IS MY BROTHER" Tenchi said as he screamed it. : He's gone the whole story without putting in commas where they need to be, and now he just throws one in. Not only that, but it's completely incorrect. "Look Tenchi, he doesn't care for us anymore, he walked out" Yosho said. : He said he was only interested in us in a 'one night stand kind of way'! "Your a liar I know him. Didn't he even send one letter?" Tenchi said. : Well, he did send us a 'U'. However, it was preceded by a most vulgar word. "Hmmm. Yes he send one letter recently, a couple of days ago. I haven't opened it. Let me go and get it" Nobuyuki said, as he got up and walked up the stares towards his room. : Was this author not there for the week in second grade we spent on learning about words that sound alike, but are spelled differently. Homo-somethings. " How could you have lied to me?" Tenchi said as he looked at his grandfather. : Well, it wasn't that hard. You're not that bright. "Look Tenchi, he left us, can't you understand that? Yosho replied "What are you talking about he must have been 13 years old" Tenchi said "Only a child" : Not in the minds of some of these lemon writers. According to them, he was old enough to start a family 5 years before that. Pedophiles. "IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE" Yosho replied starting to get frustrated : Yeah, we all know what a hothead Yosho is. "Well then " Tenchi said relaxed " It's over. I'm gonna stop my training with you. It just doesn't matter anymore" "Tenchiiiii!" Yosho said : Yeah, Tenchi's running rings of logic around his grandfather. My ass. : They're so out of character we might as well give them new names. "Got it. Here you go Tenchi, this came 8 days ago" Nobuyki said as he raced town the stairs and handed the letter to Tenchi. : It's ticking for some reason. Maybe it's a clock! "Thank you dad, I know you always cared for me" Tenchi said as he opened the letter. It wrote : It wrote? Did he mail him some sort of pen or something? : Wow. That was even below your standards. : Dammit, I had a great joke, but I just couldn't word it properly. 'Hello Tenchi, I hope that you will start to reply my letters now, or just call me at the number at the top. : 1-900-4-MAN-SEX. I have written many letters, and this is my final. : My teacher says, if I pass, I might make it to second grade! I just wrote to tell you that I am doing really good. : It's times like this I wish I had a big, red pen. On next Friday I have a world Championship boxing fight. I hope that you will be able to watch it. Please call me sometime Love : And big, wet, sloppy kisses, Gene' Tenchi read it out loud and said "I have written many letters?" He said looking kind of confused. : That's the Tenchi we know and love! "Ehh those ones got burned, sorry son" Nobuyuki said as he lowered his head. "It's all right. I'm gonna call him and tell him to come as soon as possible" Tenchi said starting to look excited. He can share my room or sleep on the couch. : And then we can play with action figures, and I can teach him how to blow bubbles, and... : Heh, yeah. Is "Bubbles" Tenchi's neighbor. : DUO! He ran towards the phone picked it up and dialed the number. "Hello?" a calm and warm voice said over the phone. : Stay on the line to fulfill all of your man on man fantasies, lover boy! "Gene?" Tenchi said. "TENCHI!!! I have missed you so much. My haven't you written back?" Gene said, in a very happy voice. : I'm just assuming you're Tenchi, because I haven't seen you in at least ten years and couldn't recognize your voice anyway. It's just how I answer the phone these days. It really freaks out the telemarketers, though. "I'm doing great. : You know, I don't recall Gene asking Tenchi how he was. : Tenchi, where did you put the vegetables? : Thursday! : Huh? What does that mean? : I'm fine, thank you! How fast can you come here? I will explain everything to you. Ju-Just come" Tenchi said : "Ju-Just?" Is that some sort of fighting style? "All right Tenchi, I'm not that far. I guess I can make it by night time if I take the bullet train. I leave right now" Gene said "How does that sound?" : Like a wet fish being slapped upon the land. Slap! Slap! Slap! : I'm not even going to ask. "GREAT!! I'll be prepared" Tenchi said excited as ever. : Yeah, I'll get some lubricant, a sheep, and 30 feet of hemp rope! "Ok I'll be there later. Bye bye" Gene said starting so sound excited as Tenchi. Tenchi put the phone down. And went back to the living room. "Hes coming tonight". He said as he raised his head and looked around the table. Every one was there but Yosho. "Where is Yosho?" "He went back to the shrine" Mihoshi said in a cheery voice. She is happy like the rest of the girls that they get to meet someone they have never heard of before. : These girls must be really easy to please. But it was Tenchis brother. It was weird because none of the girls have ever heard about Gene. : Probably because he's just a stupid lemon plot device. Tenchi said "I'm going to clean my room and get ready" Then he walked up the stairs. : You have no idea how much space is needed for the old "sheep rope trick!" : Enough! Enough with the goddamn sheep sex! : What sheep sex? I was just talking about how they were going to hang a sheep from the rafters with a rope and hit it like a piņata. What the hell is wrong with you? : But what was the lubricant for? : To keep the rope from snapping when it rubs against the rafters. : There isn't much to do for fun on those space colonies, is there? : You're telling me. "Tenchi, Darling, do you want some help?" Ryoko said. "NO!!" Tenchi replied as he slammed the door behind his back. "Hmm how odd" Nobuyuki said, very suspiciously. "Whats wrong?" Said Kyone : Besides how you're spelling my name, of course. "Well Tenchi has never called Yosho by his first name. : Except during--(notices angry glares of other MSTers)--uh...the family bonding retreats my architecture firm hosts. : That was a really bad save. : I could have gone with my original joke. : Point taken. Tenchi must be really upset" Nobuyuki said. "I'll go cheer him up" Ryoko said as she flew up, but something grabbed her ankle. : C'mon, tentacle monster! : What did I tell you about giving the authors ideas? : Sorry. I just have a thing for--nevermind. "No let him be, he will hate you if you bother him" Nobuyuki said. "All we can do is wait." Everyone got ready. Tenchi cleaned his room. The girls cleaned their rooms. Washu cleaned her lab. Sesami cleaned the living room and the dishes. Mihoshi and Kyone helped. The room was spotless. Almost perfectly clean. Even Ryoko helped clean up. She wanted Tenchi to be proud of her. Night time came very fast. : Well, it caught all of the lights while they were still green. Tenchi came out of his room. All neat and tidy. He was so happy that he can finally see his brother. He heard that his brother killed himself, after hearing about their mothers death. : Let's see, we have a sentence fragment, a tense change, an extra comma, and a missing apostrophe. : What was the point of that? : I needed a joke to make, and grammar is a lot funnier than suicide. : Next time those are the only two topics you can think of to joke about, just keep your mouth shut. Okay? "I'm so happy for you Tenchi" Sesami said with a very large and cute smile on her face. : As opposed to her ass, I suppose. : You know, I could handle that with any other character, but Sasami? Come on, Duo. I thought you had more taste than that. : Babe, you haven't even seen how low I can go. : *sigh* Tenchi was next standing next to her. He looked down and smiled at Sesami " Thank you Sesami, I really needed that" He kneeled down and opened his arms. He gave Sesami a big hug. : Hey, Duo, would you say that if "Sesami" owned a road, it would be "Sesami Street?" : That joke really sucked. : I'd have to agree. : Me too. : Well, I've been waiting the whole fanfic for an opportunity to play off that pun, and I kind of gave up. At least I introduced it so any Kermit the Frog jokes I might use make more sense. : They won't. Sesamy blushed and said "Thank you Tenchi" The food was on the table and everything was ready. ~ DING DONG~ The door bell ran. Tenchi coudln't believe it. : If I saw a door bell run, I wouldn't believe it either. "I'll get it Tenchi. Please just be relaxed" Sesami said as she ran towards the door. *Hmm I wonder what Gene is like. I wish he is like Tenchi* Sesami was thinking. She opened the door and saw Gene was standing there. She looked up at the handsome man. : Well, I guess that's a "no" to my wish, then. "Now aren't you the cute one."Gene said with a wide smile. "I'm Gene" he said as he lowered his hand and gave Sesami a handshake. "Hi, I'm Sesami" They shook hands and Sesami blushed. She was unusually excited."Please follow me" : Wow, I wonder who Gene is going to fall in love with? "Well this place brings back memories" Gene took off his shoes, held Sesamis hand and followed her to the living room where Tenchi was. "Oh My God" Tenchi looked at Gene. : You don't look like you're from this family at all! Tears came from his eyes as he ran walked towards him and huggeded him. "Ahh come on Tenchi, Mesaki men don't cry" Gene said as he hug back. : MASAKI men, on the other hand, are giant pansies. "Here is some food. We'll talk while we eat." Tenchi said. : That's kind of rude. "Sure" Gene replied. Gene sat down opposide Tenchi and Sesami sat down next to Gene. Then Mihoshi and Kyone came into the living room. "Gene this is Mihoshi and Kyone. They are Galaxy Police officers" Tenchi said "Galaxy Police??" Gene said a little confused "What do you mean, like from space?" "Yes thats right. Hi I'm first class officer Kyone and this is my partner Mihoshi" Kyone said very proud. : I've never been proud of Mihoshi in my life. "Hiya!" Mihoshi said. "Well hello there" Gene said, as he watched Mihoshis tits jiggle as she sat down. *Ohh Fuck* he thought. : It's times like this I wish I wasn't gay. : What is it with you and Gene being gay? : I guess it was the earlier part where he giggled like a schoolgirl. : Alright, as long as you have a reason. Carry on. Then Washu came out of her lab. "Hello there" she said "This is Washu, the smartest and greatest scientist in the entire universe" Tenchi said "Cool" Gene replied. : Does she make any medications? Because I have this one rash on my... "One thing" Washu said "You have to call me little Washu" "Ok. Now who are they?" Gene said as he looked at the stairs. He watched as Ryoko and Aeka came downstairs and they sat beside Tenchi. "This is Princess Aeka, of Jurai. The powerfullest race in the entire Universe. That little girl you met which is sitting next to you is Princess Sesami. You don't have to call them princess. And this here is Ryoko the most wanted pirate in the Universe." : Wanted by everyone but Tenchi, it seems. : I know, that kid's worse than Trowa! I mean, this hot circus performer pretty much throws herself at him, and he doesn't do anything! I mean what the-- : Duo, shut up. Tenchi said as he looked at Genes confused face. "SON!" Nobuyuki shouted out as the took a dive down the stairs and hugged Gene. : And quickly collapsed because of the two vertebrae he had broken in his "dive down the stairs." "Hehehe It's nice to see you too Dad. Now Tenchi you have some explaining to do." Gene said. : Tenchi, you got some splainin' to do! Sesami made food they were eating. Tenchi told Gene everything. About their travels to Jurai about the fake Yosho. And everything else. : Wow, if they had this guy write the Tenchi TV series it would be over in one episode! : An episode? More like a commercial. *Hmm so thats Princess Aeka. Huh. Very odd indeed* Gene thought to himself. : The only odd thing I see is that you just figured that out and Tenchi introduced you to her just a while ago. "Wow I thought that your life would be boring here. I thought that I had it good." Gene said. Gene started to tell his story of when he lived with a foster family. He expanded his martial arts and he started to learn how to Box. He started when he was a teenager. Thats when he started to make lots of money. And he told of his story of last night when he made world champion. And that he made nearly 50 million dollars. "Thats really impressive Gene. Is there anything else?" Tenchi said kind of nervous now "What every happened to that virus that you had?" : You know. The one that killed the smart portions of your brain? "I still have that, and its even grown." Gene said : After what Ken said, that explains a lot. "How do you know about the virus" Nubuyuki said. "You were only a little child" "I remember those long nights where I heard screaming coming from the room next to mine. I heard you screaming all night. It started a couple of nights before mom died. I remember those hour you screamed. It was soo loud, I bet even the neighbors must have heard it. I jumped out of bed trying to come to your room. But I was stopped at the door by mom. She told me it was nothing." Tenchi said. With a worried look on his face. "Well I am still living with the virus in me. It will never leave me but I have learn to live with it. I have learned to use it with my Jurai powers..."Gene said : Damn! He trailed off. We'll never know what he was going to say next. "Wait a second how do you know about your Jurain powers?" Tenchi said confused. "Yosho told me, he told me everything. I know about his past, all those stupid little secrets" : Yeah, stupid stuff like how to create impenetrable force fields, generate wings capable of matter tranformation, crap like that. It's all worthless. Gene said as he gulped down a sip of sucke. : Isn't it kind of hard to gulp down a sip of sake? "Wow its kind of getting late. And that fight last night took off too much energy. Now who should I hug for cooking that delicious food?" "That would be me" Sesami said straight away. "GREAT!" Gene said. : Because I'm a dirty pedophile who likes to touch little girls! As he turned to side and gave the little Sesami a great big and warm hug. After the hug he looked at her and she was almost solid pink, she has never blushed soo much in her life before. : Her life before? Is that like before she assimilated with Tsunami, or something? : Wait, I thought this was based on the TV series. Tsunami wasn't in that, was she? : Well, maybe they just never mentioned it. : I think you guys are trying to hard to make sense of the crappy lemon logic. : Yeah, I guess you're right. After the table was cleaned up. Tenchi gave Gene a hug and went to his room. Gene decided to sleep in the spare room. There was a bed there and a amazing look out to the lake. Gene bruched up then he went to his room and took off everything but his underwear. ~~~~~ THIS STORY IS NOW GENES POINT OF VIEW~~~ : So is this like that movie "Being John Malkovich?" : Never saw it. : Me neither. : Nope. : Well, I haven't seen it, but I think it's about people who pay money to be some actor named John Malkovich for a day. : Hmph. You'd have to pay me to be this guy for a day. : I don't know, this is a bad lemon, so you'd probably end up sleeping with one of the hot chicks around the house. : Like Sasami? That's what would happen, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself. "Wow what a great time I had tonight. I finaly got to see my brother again after soo many year. And shockingly I have met the woman I was born to marry. How strange" : Yeah, what are the odds, me being born to marry an 8-year-old. I laid down on the sheets and looked at the window then I heard some cracks at the door . I looked over and I saw that it was being opened. Someone was stepped into my room. It was Kyone. : WHAT THE HELL? : What's wrong with Kiyone? : She's just mad because Cyrus picked a story in which she sleeps with the asshole main character. : Wait a second, Cyrus picked this out? : Yeah. What did you think, these thing were sent to us by some evil mad scientist? : WHERE IS HE? : Uh, he haz left ze theatre. Please zit down and finish ze fanfic. : YOU ASSHOLE! WHERE ARE YOU HIDING? : Oh dear God, oh dear God, what can I do? (snaps fingers) I've got it! : Come on out, and let's do this the easy way! : (stands up) Uh Kiyone, I think you should understand-- (Cyrus is unable to finish his sentence before Kiyone begins pummeling him mercilessly) : Should we be doing something right now? : Naw. We should just work on finishing the fanfic. "Eh Hello there. I couldn't fall asleep and I was wondering if we could have a little time to chat. you know to get to know each other." She told me. : Yeah, more like she wants to get to know your dick. : (momentarily stops beating Cyrus) Keep that up and you're next, Maxwell! (resumes the beating) I couldn't tell because it was too dark but I guess that she was blushing. *Hell no. I couldn't believe it. I thought that I was gonna score with that Mihoshi girl first, but this will do* : (while pummeling Cyrus) What did he just say? : I think he said, "I thought that I was gonna score with that Mihoshi girl first, but this will do." : (stops pummeling) This will do? (walks away from Cyrus's battered form. THIS WILL DO? Cyrus, if I don't kill you, will you do one of those fanfics where I kill the author in his sleep or something. Make it painful. : (tries to speak, but can only cough. After several coughs, feebly gives Kiyone the thumbs-up) : Alright then. (sits back down) I though. Then I said" Sure why don't you come over here and layed down next to me until you fall asleep" I said. She wanted me. And I wanted pussy. She came towards me and laid down next to me. "I dot know what it is but I'm strangely attracted to you" She told me. : What? But she's a lesbian? : WHAT? : Come on, you don't like Tenchi, you are always staring at Mihoshi, you sleep in the same room with Mihoshi...there's no way you're straight! : Let me set the record straight then, right now. I...AM...NOT...A...LESBIAN! And if I were, which I'm not, I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY NOT BE IN LOVE WITH MIHOSHI! : (crawls back into his seat) Damn. There go my next five fanfic ideas. : (glares at him) "I feel the same way about you babe" I told her as I looked into those amazon green eyes. She was on my left. So she put her left hand on my chest and started to rub. She didn't really wear much just a very long T-shirt that was all the way to her knees. : Hmph. The only thing I'd even consider wearing into this guy's room is full GP dress uniform. Including the blaster. We started with a passionate kiss. She slid her hands down my 6-pac and into my boxers. She grabbed around my dick which was not erected yet. It suddenly got erected in a second her soft milky hand made my dick come up hard. She started to kiss down my neck and down my abs. She got to my boxer and she ripped them off. She looked at my dick and she paused. She was actually drewling at it. : More like vomiting. Her eyes opened wide. And then she grabbed my dick with her left hands. She must have been stunned at my 8 incher. But all Mesakis have big ones. : (bursts into uncontrollable laughter) : What's so funny? : I guess he has little respect for the Masaki family line's...er...manhood. : He's right. : Huh? : I've seen Tenchi a few times, usually during those mix-ups with the bath the writers love. He's not a horse, I'll tell you that. She started to rub my dick up and down. Then she lowered her head and kissed the tip of my dick. "Stop teasing me girl, Do you do this to everyone you meet on the first night?" I told her "No it gets very lownly here" She said with a little upset face. : You know, Kiyone, I don't recall you ever being characterized as a slut in any of the Tenchi series. : Tell that to this guy. Then she took the my dick and started to suck on the tip. She put it in her mouth like a lolypop. : Maybe she's sucking it like a Tootsie Roll pop, and she's just going to give up and bite to the center. She sucked up and ALL the way down raching my pupic hair. Her mouth was wet and warm, just the way I love it. Time to time, she would take my dick out of her mouth and she would like it. She would then put it in her mouth. I arched my back and but my hand behind her head. I shoved her face toward the bottom of my dick. I swear my dick must have been down her throat. She was going to puke. : I can tell you, I was going to puke long before this. I was in totally ecstasy. I took my hand of her head. She went upwards. I could feel her tongue inside her mouth, licking and sucking at the same time. : You know, it must be hard to suck with your tongue. I couldn't take it anymore."OHH FUCK" I cummed right in her mouth, I shot my first load. She gulped it down, then I shot 3 more loads in her mouth and she tried to swallow as much as she could. She cleaned up my dick and lied down next to me. It was my turn now. I started to kiss her, we exchanged our tongues. : Fortunately, we had bought them at a store with a good return policy. And kissed. With my hands I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and slowly started to bring it up to her head. I could feel the amazing shape of her body. Then I took off her shirt, leaving her white milkish body totally naked. totally mine. : You know, I've been noticing that Kiyone is sickly pale in this story. : Maybe the author has some repressed necrophilia that's subconsciously manifesting itself in the story. : Cyrus! : Sorry. Hey, authors! No necrophiliac lemons, okay? That's a bad idea. Just look at the hatred directed towards Kanashii no Imi. : Ugh. We won't have to read that, will we? : No, there's nothing funny about it. At all. Just read the story Bryan Weber wrote, called No Need for Grief. I started to kiss down her neck. I grabbed her breasts. I kissed down the valley of her breasts. They where almost right size. But I preferred Mihoshis. : Well, if you like Mihoshi so much, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING ME? I started to lick and kiss her nipples. Slowly. But I didn't want to waste time on her breasts. : MY BREASTS ARE NOT A WASTE OF TIME! I started to kiss down her perfect size stomach. I licked the inside of belly button. "HMMmmmm" She moaned and she kept on moaning. Then I kissed lower and got down to her shaved pussy. I started kissing her pussy lips. She started to moan loader. Then I opened her lips with my right hand and I grabbed her right breast with my left hand. I looked into her pussy and I could start to see pre-cum. I started to kiss the inside and she couldn't take it. I slowly but my tongue into her clit and I started to lick it like a dog. I'm a fucking animal. : No, you're a fucking pervert. If you are, as I suspect, a self-insertion character. : Duo, now is not a good time to mention insertion. I found her hole and I started lick in the inside of that. She arched her back trying to ger my tongue all the way in. She wrapped her thighs and legs around my head. And she started to squeeze harder and harder. "OHH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!" She nearly screamed as she started to cum into my mouth. I started to drink it like if I had been lost in the desert for days and that I just found water. The taste was amazing. It was just right, not too salty and to sweet. : So it's just right, but too sweet? Whatever. She kept on cumming and I kept on drinking. : What the hell is she, a water fountain? Until there was no more. I looked at her face, and she was nearly out. She didn't have enough energy to keep her eyes all the way open. But I had lots of energy left. "Now, its gonna get a lot better" I told her. She looked at me, like she couldn't take it anymore. "Im not so sure" she said Fuck I dont give a damn what she said. : Oh, great. He's a rapist now. Fantastic. I opened her legs and I grabbed my dick. At a few flick of my wrist it was hard as wood again. I guided it into her lubricated pussy. I found her hole straight away, I went deeper. It was a bit tight. But it was nice and warm. I started to bang her like a fucking ape. : Oh, beautiful imagery. : Alright, I'm confused. That sentence made it sound like he was banging her like she was an ape? So this guy is a bestial rapist? : Don't forget necrophile. And pedophile! I went deeper and deeper. I looked at Kyones face and I saw a couple of tears run down her face. I knew I couldn't stop. My evil part had taken over. : Maybe I should just lop your "evil part" right off. (Duo, Cyrus, and Ken all cringe) I had nearly reached my climax and nearly cummed. But then I suddenly stopped. She looked at me in relief. But she didn't know what she was gonna be in a world of hurt. I turned her over. And she was on all fours. : Oh, please, anything but this. "It's my first time in this position" she said "Don't worry" I told her. I started to lubricate her asshole with some of the cumm that ran down her thighs. I slid my finger in a couple of times and everytime she let out a little moan. I slowly started to put my dick into her. I put my hands on her waist and I pushed harder and harder. I went in all the way. I let in all the 8 inches. Then I started to but fuck her. Ohh my God . It felt so good. All her ass muscles tightened around my dick. It was soo warm. So tight. I started to fuck her harder and deeper. I could feel her ass checks slapping against my waist. Slap SLap SLAp SLAP! : Hey, it's a wet fish being slapped upon the-- : Shut up. I reached my climax. And so did she . I cummer into her ass. I shot out all my loads. My dick was totally dry. But I couldn't stop. I just kept on baning her from the back until my dick started to bruse. My erection went. She nearly went unconscious and nearly did I. It was so good. "How was it?" I said. really tired "GASP - It was -GASP- wonderful- GASP" she was out, but still gasping for air. I thought to myself. *Hmm this was very good. If this stuck up girl was this easy. I wonder about the other ones* : I smell a sequel! : God, I hope not. : Actually, there are four more of these, aren't there? : Yeah, and we're going to do them all. : I'm going to kill you. : Does it help that I'm not going to do them all in a row? : Not really. : What about the fact that you aren't featured in any more of them? : It helps a little. : Okay. Look, the next three are really bad too, but I know you guys can sit through them. I believe in you guys! : Why do I not feel motivated. : Probably because we're going to have to read this crap three more times. : Let me put it this way. You'll read them, or I'll find a Digimon/Gundam Wing yaoi crossover. And you know there has to be one somewhere. : Bastard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ : In the immortal words of any MSTer who ever saw those words, THANK YOU GOD! Its the end of my story. So please write to me at cmdr_duff@yahoo.com : Alright, fic's over, time to go. : Thank god. : Don't run off, we have to do our post-fic analysis in the lounge! _______________________________________________________________ In the lounge, all of the characters were resting from their first MSTing experience. Cyrus walked into the room carrying his clipboard, with a pencil behind his ear. "Alright, people, what did you think of the fic?" "It sucked," said Duo. "It sucked," said Kiyone. "It sucked," said Ken. "Alright, that's four for 'it sucked.'" Cyrus pulled his pencil out from behind his ear and marked down on the clipboard. "You say there are three more of those?" asked Kiyone. "Yeah," said Cyrus. Before Kiyone could say anything else, he quickly added, "You're not in any of them, though. At least, not in this, er, context." "Good," said Kiyone, who reclined on the large couch and closed her eyes. Cyrus looked around the room, and noticing that everyone else was going to sleep, decided to go to his cabin. "Well," he said to himself, "I guess that MSTing can be a taxing experience." _______________________________________________________________ Thanks for reading my MST. It was a lot of fun to write. If you have any comments, just email me at rowsdower@seanbaby.com. And, despite what you may think from reading Alienboy52's fics, www.seanbaby.com is actually a really good site. It's a shame he plugs it at the end of his really bad fics. Expect to see more MSTs from me soon! Also, thanks to Jackson, David, and Nick for their advice and proofreading. To all MSTers everywhere: keep writing! Eyecatch: I could feel her ass checks slapping against my waist. Slap SLap SLAp SLAP!