The MST files of the Event Horizon #5 J.P. Gibb Disclaimer: The characters, events, places, vehicles, and most, hell, all of the jokes all belong to their respective owners (AIC/Pioneer, Bandai, etc.). I OWN NOTHING!!! Dramatis Personae: Merek Steele: Ex-Imperial. Captain of the VSD (Victory Class Star Destroyer) Event Horizon. Author Avatar. "Another crossover, great!" Leena Toros: Zoid warrior. "Here we go again!" Gene Starwind: Outlaw. Captain of the Outlaw Star. "I shoulda asked for more money!" Waspinator: Ex-Predicon. Projectionist and monitor. "Wazpinator ready!" And our guest MSTer: Tenchi Masaki: Prince of Jurai and farm boy. "I wanted to get away from them, but this is insane!" Captain's Log 050902 We continue our grand tour of the galaxies. Tenchi will be joining us today through Washu's portal, I'm beginning to run out of family members to MST with. Maybe Gene's crew... Speaking of which, Gene and Melfina seem to have made up. He is not limping anymore. End Log [Begin Record] INT: Ready Room: The MST Team is gathered, swaping stories. Steele: So after the Rebels destroyed the Death Star II I decided to retire from the Navy. Leena: But where'd you get this ship. Steele: I picked it up at a Moff's going-out-of-business sale. I gathered up a crew and set off on a tour of our galaxy. Quite by accident, one of my engineers found a way to jump between universes. I found Gene's ship, helped him out of a jam, and he told me about his experiences with other MST groups. The rest is history. Gene: Yeah, I shoulda kept my mouth shut. Tenchi: So is everyone doing this now? Steele: MSTing? Just about. Leena: So what do we have today? Steele: Well it came from the crossover section. Tenchi: What with? Steele: Not sure. The author still isn't letting me read ahead. Author voice (Nelson): Ha ha! (Over loudspeakers): We are the best of the best of the best! Steele: That line sounds familiar... INT: The theater. Seating: Leena, Steele, Tenchi, Gene. [Fic Begins] Leena: No warnings? Steele: This might not be so bad. >Tenchi Muyo! Men in Black Steele: I knew that line was familiar! (Will Smith's 'Men In Black' plays over the loudspeakers) >By Andrew Askew (awa51669@jetson.uh.edu) >Tenchi and Co. are copyright, of AIC. Men in Black is copyright >Marvel comics, I believe. Events in this fic are supposed to occur in >the OAV series continuity, after Aeka and Sasami have just taken up residence >at the Masaki household. Gene: No Washu? Tenchi: No Washu > Tenchi Muyo! > Men in Black >A wide white walled room buzzed with activity. Aliens going through customs >were impatiently awaiting for the go ahead to get on their respective ways, >some of them after hundreds of light years' journeys. >"What's so important Zed?" the rather severe looking agent asked. His >worried blue eyes were almost lost in the maze of wrinkles that creased >his careworn face. Brushing back his salt-and-pepper hair, he looked over >the other man's black-suit-clad shoulder. (Think Tommy Lee Jones, folks) Leena: Is that litteral or is he making a joke? >"We've got another one, K. Came down right over Japan, as plain as day. >Wonder what's so special about this area." Steele: Oh, I think we all know. (Points to Tenchi) Tenchi: Why me?! >K frowned. "They didn't pick it up on radar? And what do you mean, another >one?" >Zed turned from the main monitor to face him. "Just yesterday a signal the >strength of which we've never seen blew up out of this same general area. >Whether or not there's a ship involved with that one or not, we don't know. >But LMSAT 250 just picked up this thing on the scope." Gene: Hey cool! They get Spice Channel! >Images flashed on the screen. A huge, for all the world, wooden, ship >floated on the screen with the earth as it's backdrop. There was no question >it intended to come in for a landing, or worse, an attack run. Steele: And Tokyo Tower goes down again. >"Who've we got on the ground in Japan?" K asked, searching his memory. >Oddly enough he couldn't seem to recall. Tenchi: No hyper-advanced alien memory drugs? Others: Lame! >"That's just it. There are only one or two resident aliens in that area, >and they've both been there long enough that xenopsych trusts them. We >didn't want to spread our people out that far for just a couple of veterans." Gene: Let's see, who could that possibly be? >K stared at him. "You mean we have no one there?" >Zed stared back at him. "Not yet. Better pack up, and tell the kid." Steel (Agent J as kid): But I don't wanna go to Japan!!!! >The ship loomed closer on the screen. Leena: Then one of the strings broke and they realized it was a model. Others: (Snicker) >Some months later... Gene: Damn, what'd they do; take a cruise ship? Steele (Agent J): Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruise around in a Ford P.O.S. >Another peaceful day was dawning at the Masaki household. Well, >relatively peaceful, that was. >"RYOKO!" a voice shrieked. All: (Cover ears) Gene: AHHHH, that hidious noise! Steele: Does she always sound like that? Tenchi: No. Normaly it's worse! >Explosions followed, as they usually did. Tenchi: Suddenly the house goes up in a huge mushroom cloud. The end. All: (Gape at Tenchi) Steele: Dude! Tenchi: You try putting up with them and not becoming a little bitter. >Tenchi looked up from breakfast. "Looks like Aeka-san's in good form >today," he commented to Sasami, Leena (Sasami): No she keeps dropping her right arm. Ryoko can get inside her defence too easily.. > who as usual was letting Ryo-ohki-chan >steal a bite of food or two from her plate. Carrots, of course. All (Deadpan): Of course. >"Nyah!" called Ryoko, hurtling into the room at breakneck speed. >"No fighting over breakfast!" Tenchi called out, hoping that somehow they'd >actually listen. >Surprisingly enough, this morning was indeed different. The two antagonists >settled down, and a new hope began to dawn in Tenchi's mind. Maybe today >major home repairs wouldn't be necessary. Tenchi (Low voice): Don't you believe it! >Sadly that hope was soon crushed as a relatively minor food fight, begun >by Ryoko flicking a crumb or two in Aeka's direction, erupted into a full- >scale brawl. The wall behind Ryoko soon paid the price, and Tenchi had >this afternoon's activities laid out for him. >Finishing his breakfast, Tenchi tried to make himself heard over the >continuing brawl. "It's time for me to practice with Grandpa. Don't >let them destroy the ENTIRE house, Sasami-chan!" Gene: You tell an eight year-old to try to keep _those_ two under control? Tenchi: It's not me! >"Hai!" Sasami replied, cheerful as ever, beginning to clear the table >as best she could around the mass of flailing limbs that was Aeka and >Ryoko. Leena (Holding LARGE adamantium mallet): Gene, one yuri joke and you'll join the Cybertronian again, got it? Gene (Sweatdrop): Yes ma'am. >Tenchi walked towards the shrine with no small sense of relief. At least >while his grandfather ran him through the daily body breaking exercise >routines he could be out of the cross-fire between Aeka and Ryoko. >He had just finished climbing the stairs when he heard his grandfather's >voice. Another, foreign voice answered it, in lightly American accented >Japanese. >"...disturbance in this area a few months ago," the voice was saying. Steele (Yosho): Other than the demon Ryoko being reawakend after seven hundred years, then my half sister showing up out-of-the blue no. >"I see," Katsushito's voice answered. >A third and horrendously accented voice chimed in. "You wouldn't have >been taking an unscheduled trip or anything like that would you? 'Cuz >I know you'd have let us know before something like that..." Gene (BAD Mexican accent): No hablo engleis! >"Tenchi!" his grandfather's voice called suddenly from the shrine. >"Stop eavesdropping and come inside." >Blushing furiously (insert sweatdrop here) Tenchi tentatively opened the >door to the shrine. Inside were two black suited foreigners, one light >skinned, the other dark, beside his grandfather. As he entered >all three stood up. Steele: Never interrupt a poker game, Tenchi! >"This is my grandson Tenchi." Katsushito told the men. The darker one >exchanged a glance with the other man. "Tenchi, these two gentlemen are >here to meet with our guests at the house. Please introduce them." >"Give us a minute first, please." the darker man said first, and the >two of them drew away from Tenchi and his grandfather. Gene (Agent K): Do you want the Princess or the pirate? Leena: That was _so_ wrong? Tenchi: Yeah, that 'pirate' is my wife, after all! >"So this kid is half alien?" J asked in a low voice to his partner. >"One-quarter." Steele: Actually, given the time Yosho's been on the planet, I don't think he's better than one-sixteenth. Gene: Fanboy. >"I didn't think, that...ya know that was exactly kosher..." >"Look, slick, when we first started up, we found that there were already >some aliens living in secret on this planet without our help. Yosho here was >one of them, he registered with us, and told us of another alien he'd >imprisoned here. Given what he told us, we simply grandfathered them both >in and maintained the status quo. We were already having enough trouble >with the other races that we figured...well, if they could get along well >enough without us more power to them. That's why we don't have a field >office here." Leena: Given the number of aliens that have attacked Japan, you'd think they post _someone_ there. >J glanced back to where Tenchi and his grandfather stood. "Does the kid >know?" Tenchi: Kagato hasn't attacked yet, so I don't. >"Does it matter? We just finished blanking the last few people who saw >the unorthodox activity here already. If the old man doesn't want him >to know, we'll neuralize him too." >"Yo, don't be using the flashy thing like there's no tomorrow, K. That >thing may cause brain damage or something..." Gene: That would explain Shin... Steele (PO'ed): nEvEr MeNtIoN ShIt TeNcI AgAiN!! >They rejoined Tenchi and he led them out of the shrine, back towards the >house. J decided to try and strike up a conversation with the boy. Gene (Pilot from 'Airplane'): So Tenchi, do you like gladiator movies? Steele: Obscure! Gene: Yeah, but it's funny! >"So, uh ...Tenchi, right? You haven't seen anything really out of the >ordinary around here in the last couple of weeks, have you?" >(Insert GIANT sweatdrop here) Leena: Would he not fall over? Tenchi: Trust me, if the girls don't fall over from their hair, a sweatdrop is nothing. >"Unusual? I don't really know what you'd >call unusual..." >"Have you witnessed anything in the evening sky? A spacecraft or something >similar?" K interrupted. >(Insert 2X giant sweatdrop) "Spacecraft? Er...no. Nothing like that. Tenchi (With the fic): Spacecraft? Er...no. >Who were you guys with again? You're not Japanese." the last was a >statement, not a question. Steele: Sybolized with the lack of a question mark. >"We're...ah, with a special secret UN task force." J answered right off >the top of his head. "I'm agent Black. This is agent Mansfield." >"You're getting good at that," K muttered in English as a side note. >"Good teacher," J responded in kind, then noted the look Tenchi was >giving them. Tenchi (To the agents): I _can_ understand english, you know! >"What sort of agency..." Tenchi began, but J cut him off. >"We were just wondering about that sort of stuff in this area, 'cuz we'd, >you know, seen like a post-it on the board at work about it." >Tenchi relaxed a little bit. "This area is supposedly littered with >legends of evil spirits and demons and the like. No one's seen anything >like that for, ah..." Tenchi paused, suddenly remembering a certain demon, Leena (Church Lady): Could it be... SATAN! >"as long as anyone can remember." >They stopped, as they had arrived at the house. Tenchi stepped in and >nervously announced. "Father? We have visitors!" hoping that their >houseguests would for once behave and not scare the daylights out of the >agents. All: Hell no! >As he had been so many times in the past, Tenchi was disappointed in that >respect as Ryoko phased in from thin air right beside him. "Tenchi? Who >are these men?" Tenchi: I'm not sure, they said they were from a Juraian bill collection agency... Steele: We did that joke already. Tenchi: Oops! >Tenchi facefaulted, and prepared to deal with the men behind him, but both >took it in stride. >"You're...Ryoko, right?" the one introduced as agent Mansfield asked, >leafing through a file folder he'd pulled from somewhere. >Ryoko grinned and pulled Tenchi in closer to her. "That's right, >handsome. But don't try anything, I'm taken." Tenchi: She sure is! Gene: Wait a second, she found _K_ attractive?! All: Ewwwww! >Tenchi once again reddened, but Mansfield simply ignored that. "I just >need you to sign here." he said proffering a form and a pen. >Ryoko took it disinterestedly. "What is it?" she asked. >"Your registration papers. They've been approved already. Just sign." Steele (Agent K): We'll still need you to take her down to the office to have her spayed and immunized. Others: (Laugh) (A plasma bolt again shoots in and is absorbed by Steele) >Ryoko signed somewhat uncertainly, and Mansfield took the form. >He then offered her a laminated card. "Your license. You're all set." Gene: Ryoko with a drivers license. Leena: Scary. >Ryoko examined the card with some curiosity, and Tenchi followed suit. >"MiB Alien Registry" the card proclaimed. Along with it were statistics >fitting Ryoko, estimated amount of time spent on Earth and a few other facts. >"You mean, you already knew about..." Tenchi asked rubbing the back of his >neck. >"Yes, sir, we knew all about her. It also says right here that the statute >of limitations on her outstanding criminal warrants has run out. >Congratulations Ms. Ryoko. Not that we care. Earth is an apolitical zone, >but your awakening could have otherwise caused some nasty extradition >negotiations, you understand..." Gene: You know, there's a lemon that starts out this way... Steele: Yeah, 'Second Time' or something like that. It's not bad. If I can find it, we'll do it. >Both Tenchi and Ryoko chose this moment to simply stare at the two >black suited men for a moment. "How did you..." >"Your grandfather told us. Now, your other houseguests?" Leena: Uh, guys? Who's talking here? Tenchi: I think it's K and Ryoko, but I'm not sure. >"I er...Ryoko, where is Aeka?" Gene (Ryoko): I left her in the Onsen after we were done. (Plasma bolt fries Gene) >Sasami bounded in with Ryo-ohki in hot pursuit. "Uh...has that thing had its >shots?" Black asked, a bit tentatively, feeling not quite so bemused as >Tenchi and Ryoko, but still swept along in his partner's wake. >"It's not an animal; we don't really have to do extra paperwork for it," >Mansfield told him. >"But, er K, what is it then?" Steele (K): J, Don't you know a Poke-mon when you see one? Leena: EVIL! >K, as he'd now been addressed, was bending down to speak with Sasami. >"Would you go get your sister please?" he asked her. >Sasami nodded, and bounced off, the cabbit bounded after her thinking this >was just a great game. >"Who are you guys really?" Tenchi demanded, more forcefully. >K straightened up and took a deep breath. "The kid and I are from a private >and highly funded agency that monitors and polices alien activity on Earth. >That's all you need to know. Gene (Still burnt): Uh, that's pretty much all there is. >Now, what you need to understand is that this >area has nearly been as active as New York in the last few weeks, but we >only had two aliens on file. What we're here to find out is why that is." >This took approximately three seconds to sink in. >"Officers I can tell you exactly who is to blame for that!" Ryoko stated. >"That girl and her sister have done nothing but cause chaos since they've >been here! I mean crashing their ship into the Earth of all things. I >would lock her up and throw away the..." Tenchi: Hey! You can blame Ayeka, but leave Sasami out of this! >"Ryoko!" Tenchi exclaimed. Steele: Actually Ryoko, you're the one that caused her to crash... Ryoko's voice: Bite me! >"What? They arrest her and then we can have more time to ourselves, ne >Tenchi?" she began rubbing up against him, catlike, purring. >At that precise moment, Sasami returned with Aeka in tow. "Ryoko!" she >shouted, but J interrupted the incipient brawl. >"Ladies, ladies, please!" he said, stepping into that most dangerous area >separating the two. Gene: Tenchi, don't. Steele: We covered that already. >"Ladies," Aeka harumphed. "That....that PIRATE is no lady." Meanwhile >Ryoko was making faces at Aeka, still hanging over Tenchi. >Things seemed to be coming to a head, but then K interrupted. >"Aeka, princess of Jurai, and Sasami, her sister, right? We'll need you >to come with us, please?" Gene: Are you sure this isn't... Steele: No. Now calm down. >This brought everything to a complete stop. "What?" Aeka blustered. Tenchi (K): We're sending you home... Ryoko's voice: WOOOO HOOOO!! >"We'll need you and your sister to come with us to fill out your >paperwork and get you registered to live on this planet. There are laws >and treaties here, that you're breaking by not being registered. Since >you DID crash here, we're going to exempt that, AND since you're also >technically covered by diplomatic immunity we're going to overlook the >little firefight you had in orbit, but that's as far as we'll go. You'll >need to come with us to get your registration and immunization records >finalized." Leena: Oh, so they'll spay _her_. >"What about her?" Aeka demanded pointing at Ryoko, her full clip of >princess-rage still active. >J fielded that one. "She's been on this planet for over 700 years. If she >had anything contagious, then we're all immune to it by now anyway." Steele: Actually no, they'd all be dead. >Aeka pouted. "And her registration?" >Ryoko waved the card in front of her. "Nyahh! Already done." Gene: Which party? >Aeka was about to start fuming again, but K began to herd them out the >door to a black sedan parked outside. Gene (K, with Italian accent): Ayeka, Sasami. We're taking you for a little ride. >Sasami bounded in, and in time J >persuaded Aeka into getting into the car as well. Tenchi (K): I'll give you a cookie! >They paused for a moment >before getting in and escorting them back to the city where they had a >temporary office set up. >"K? Do you actually think we can trust them out here on their own >recognizance?" >"Well, I tell you, slick. They're pretty far out here, no close neighbors >and they seem like they keep the noise in check. How much trouble are >a couple of girls gonna get into?" Gene: Should we tell him? Others: NAH! >Time would tell. >[FIN] >Another fic, another author's note, this is starting to get to be a habit. >Once more thanks to my editor John Harp, who also made the fateful >statement one day, about how strange it would be if someone wrote a >Tenchi/MiB crossover. >As usual, any comments, criticisms, death threats, and well meaning curses >are appreciated, and not ignored. Please send such mail to : Leena: He'll accept death threats, but only 'well meaning curses'? Steele: I have no idea. >awa51669@jetson.uh.edu [Fic Ends] INT: Ready Room. Steele: Lady, gentlemen, and Gene Gene: HEY! Steele: We have completed our fifth MST. Leena: This isn't that hard, you know. Gene: Maybe for you, I think I'll drop bu Sick Bay before I head back to the Outlaw Star. Steele: Just be glad we stocked up on bacta before we left. Gene: Yeah, yeah. So what did we think of this one? Steele: It's well writen, but a little on the short side. Leena: Leaves room for a sequal. I liked it. Gene: Just get me a lemon at some point, okay? Tenchi: I'm just glad it wasn't as bad as some of the others I've seen. (Washu's portal opens) Ryoko: Tenchi! It's time to come home! Tenchi: And my vaction ends. Steele: You're always welcome to return. (Tenchi steps through) Leena: Well, another one bites the dust. Steele: Yeah. Up for your check-ride in the Defender? Leena (Eyes light up): You bet! End Record Captain's log Another crossover MSTed. It's becoming a habit now. Hopefully I can find something else to MST soon, I think I'm losing Gene. Life on board continues. End log Author's Notes Yep, that's five down Thanks to all of the authors of the stories I've done! This wouldn't be without you! On to the next five! Direct constructive criticism and comments to jgibb@adelphia.net. Flames will be redirected to fanfiction.net. NEVER FORGET 09/11/2001!!! MSTs FOREVER!!