The MST files of the Event Horizon J.P. Gibb Disclaimer: The characters, events, places, vehicles, and most of the jokes all belong to their respective owners (AIC/Pioneer, Bandai, ect.). I OWN NOTHING!!! Dramatis Personae: Merek Steele: Ex-Imperial. Captain of the VSD (Victory Class Star Destroyer) Event Horizon. Author Avatar. "Pretty. What do we blow up first?" Leena Toros: Zoid warrior. "Bit, don't you dare touch my cookies!" Gene Starwind: Outlaw. Captain of the Outlaw Star. "Great, another MST group!" Waspinator: Ex-Predicon. Projectionist and monitor. "Wazpinator zo happy to have zteady job again!" And our guest MSTer: Ryoko Masaki: Space Pirate. "See princess, I told you Tenchi was mine!" Captain's Log 020504 We are currently in orbit over Planet Zi, awaiting our final MSTer. Once she is settled in we will begin our mission: To boldly go forth and riff bad fics for cheap laughs. End Log Begin Record INT: Bridge of the Event Horizon Random officer #1: Captain? Our shuttle is returning. Steele: Very good, have the rest of the group meet me in the main hanger. It is time we began. You have the conn. (Leaves) INT: Main Hanger Bay. Four figures stand to one side as a Lambda class shuttle glides to a halt. A teen-aged girl with magenta hair steps down the boarding ramp. Steele: Welcome aboard the Event Horizon Miss Toros. Leena: Thank you, and it's just Leena. Steele: Very well, let me introduce you to the rest of the group. The red haired gent with the Castor gun is Gene. He is our group hentai. I've already given you access to hammer-space so feel free to mallet him. Next is the Space Pirate Ryoko. She is here for the day to give us some inside perspective on the Masaki household. The red android is called Maximillian.{A/N Bonus points to those who know where he came from ;-)} He is my Chief of Security. Leena: Security? You expecting trouble? Steele: No, he's here to keep us in the theater in case it gets too bad. Others (A tad nervous): Oh... Steele: Anywho, it is, I think, time to begin. (Over loudspeakers): GIVE YOURSELF TO THE DARKSIDE! All: We've got fanfic sign!! (All rush to theater) INT: Theater. An extremely plush stadium-style theater. Four large seats are in the middle. Seating arraignment(from behind): Steele, Leena, Ryoko, Gene. Leena (settling into her seat): This is cushy. Steele (Shrugs): Considering what we're about to see, this just makes it bearable. Gene (Pulls a beer from the cooler): No, this makes it bearable. Ryoko (Pulling out some sake): You said it. [Steele turns back to the Projection Booth] Steele: Waspy! Let's get started! Waspinator: Wazpinator Ready! [Screen goes dark, theater lights go down. Just as the fic starts, a green bar begins scrolling across the bottom of the screen] Ryoko: Nani? Steele, what's that bar? Steele (Looks at the screen just as the bar hit maximum): Oh, shi... [The THX logo appears on the screen, and the crescendo blasts the MSTers into the back row] Gene: OW! Any body get the plates on that Grappler Ship? Leena (Slightly woozy): Man, Surround Sound is great, isn't it? Steele (Shakes his head, then looks up at the projection booth):Waspy, what happened?! Waspinator (sheepishly): Wazpinator _may_ have sat on remote. [Suddenly a plasma bolt blasts Waspinator into a wall.] Ryoko: That's what you get, bug! Waspinator (Burnt): Wazpinator thought he not get blown to slag anymore! Others (Shake their heads sadly, then return to their seats) Steele: Take two! And make sure the volume is normal this time Waspy. [Fic begins again] >Title: Washu's Laboratory? Gene: You don't know? >Description: Dexter meets Washu and chaos ensues. With a DBZ cameo. >Genre: X-over >Author: rpb3000 (rpb3000@mad.scientist.com) >Washu's Laboratory? >By: rpb3000 >Disclaimer: The characters in this fanfic aren't mine, and I make no claim on >them. I'm making no money off of it, so don't sue me 'cuz this is a fanfic. >'Nuff said. >***********************^_^********************^_^************** Leena: Is that a page break or is he sweatdropping? >Yosho was getting a little too drunk. He stumbled out of the kitchen where Gene: And today the part of Yosho will be played by Ryoko Hakubi. Ryoko: DIE OUTLAW! (Blasts him) >the family was having lunch and into Washu's lab. Steele: Do NOT go in there! Leena: Especially drunk! > He made his way deep into >Washu's lab... Far, far back... Back beyond all the equipment Washu >used... And he kept on walking for a mile or more... Steele & Leena: (Start singing 'I'm Gonna Be (Five Hundred Miles)') Ryoko & Gene (still burnt): Uh, huh. >Meanwhile Sasami said, "Hmmm.. I wonder where he got off to..." Gene (Recovered): Is this a lemon? Steele: No. Leena & Ryoko: Thank Tsunami. >Yosho accidentally stumbled into a little boy. "DeeDee what have I told you >about staying out of my lab... Oh, who are you? And how did you get in >here?" said the boy. >"How did I get in here? What I would be asking is how did you get in here." >said Yosho, recovering from the effects of the alcohol. Ryoko: Damn, I can't even shake it off that fast. Gene: He _is_ Juraian. >"What do you mean? This is my laboratory and I do not know how you got in >here but please leave and don't tell anyone this exists." said the boy, who >spoke with a Central European accent. He was quite short and had orange >hair. Steele: Short?! Thank you General Understatement! Leena: General Understatement? Steele: Superior officer to Captain Obvious and Major Catastrophy. Others: (Facefault) >"I am sorry but you must be mistaken. This is Washu's lab under the >stairs." replied Yosho. All: That's Little Washu! >"Washu who? This is my lab and I built it and it is behind the bookcase not >under the stairs!" said the boy, by now quite agitated. >"Hmmm... Yes I see." said Yosho to himself. Leena: Said the blind man. Steele: Are you _trying_ to get us in trouble? >"See what?" asked the boy. Gene: I seen fire, and I seen rain? Leena: The Loch Ness Monster? Ryoko: Tenchi naked? Others: TOO MUCH INFO!!!! Steele: And thank you for breaking the chain, Ryoko. >"You have never explored the boundaries of your lab, have you?" Yosho >questioned. >"Well I hate to say it... But... ... ... No." replied the boy with a frown. >"I've measured the cavern that contains it for 5 miles on every end, >though. It seems it doesn't have an end." Gene: Oh, it's like a Pink Floyd song! Steele: I'll have you know I like Pink Floyd. Author Voice: Me Too! >"Young child, listen carefully. Your lab is not in a cavern, but instead >you have somehow discovered a wormhole into another dimension. This >dimension may possibly be without end, but I, Yosho, do not know. Leena (To Ryoko): Does he always talk like that? Ryoko: Only when he's had a few. >You will >have to ask the genius who created it, the great Washu herself, to explain it to you. >But follow me, for >there cannot be two labs in Washu's lab" Yosho said. Leena: But I thought he just found a connection between the two? Steele: First rule of MSTing, when the fic makes no sense, just Smile and Nod. >"You mean Dexter's lab." replied the boy. >"Yes, I guess it works that way too, if Dexter is your name." replied Yosho. Steele: Well, if he says 'Dexter's lab' and he's refering to the lab that he says is his, then I guess his name is... Mandark? Leena: Sarcastic? Steele: Just a smidge. >"Either way, we must move swiftly." >"Ok I guess I will follow you and explore the unchartered territories of my >lab, Yosho." said Dexter in a confident voice. Gene: Uh, did Yosho tell this kid his name at any point? Steele (Goes back, reads through fic again): Yes. We missed it the first time. Gene: Oh, okay. >As they walked off, a girl followed them in the darkness, tiptoeing along so >that she wouldn't be noticed... All (Flatly): Hmmm, who could that possibly be? >Back at the Masaki residence, Ryoko, Sasami, Ayeka, Ryo-Ohki, and Tenchi had >decided to go swimming. Sasami was playing with Ryo-Ohki, and Ryoko was >busy trying to get Ayeka to go skinny-dipping in front of Tenchi, who was >already embarrassed at Ryoko for doing just that. Ryoko: Why is that boy so shy around me? Gene: Because he's a wimp. I on the other hand... (Gene goes flying backward a few seats, a red welt the size of Ryoko's fist on his face.) Ryoko: Hentai! >"I will never set myself to as low of standards as you do, Miss Ryoko!" >screamed Ayeka. >"It's not like you weren't going to show them off to Tenchi anyway, now is >it?" came back Ryoko. >"Why you... you... ARGGHH!!" screamed Ayeka back (blushing a bit). >"Girls, I think you should both wear your bathing suits... Please?" said >Tenchi. All: WUSS! >"You stay out of it!" Both the girls screamed at Tenchi. Gene: Tenchi, buddy, listen to me. NEVER get between two female rivals. EVER. >All of a sudden, Vegeta and Goku came flying overhead. Goku looked down and >waved shouting, "Hello down there!" Ryoko: What the hell are they doing here?! Steele: Well when you have one crossover... >"Kakarot, I thought you were the one to not want people to know that you can >fly!" said Vegeta, glancing sideways at Goku. >"That's only near big cities." said Goku, laughing. >Ryoko had plunged straight under the water as soon as she saw them coming. Gene: Ryoko, embarassed? HA! Steele: (Force levitates Gene, then flings him into the projection booth) Don't insult the guest! Waspinator: Zlag! (Crash) Ryoko & Leena: How'd you do that?! Steele: (Innocent look): Did I not mention? I have Force tallents >She reemerged as they flew away and shouted, "Hey! This is private property. >Why don't you fly somewhere else?" Then she thought, "Fly? I thought I >was the only person on Earth that could fly. Hmmm..." Steele: Why do I not like the look on your face, Ryoko? Ryoko (Thoughtful):Hmmm... >"Miss Ryoko, did you just get embarrassed in front of somebody?!" said Gene (Groggy, getting back into his seat): Didn't I get tossed for saying that? Ryoko: Yes, now shut up. >Ayeka, laughing her head off. >"Grrr... Just shut up you hag!" shouted Ryoko. Steele: Hag? Ryoko: I've run through all the good ones. >Tenchi had gone off to play Marco-Polo with Sasami and Ryo-Ohki... Gene: Is there something _wrong_ with that boy? Steele: I'm beginning to wonder. >Washu was in her lab typing on her holo-top when Yosho appeared with Dexter >following. Dexter was commenting on all the neat equipment and wondering >why he hadn't thought of them. Leena: Because you're like what seven, eight? She's twenty thousand years old. Not to mention a demi-god. Steele: Details, details. >Then Yosho said, "We're here! Hey Washu, I >have someone to meet you!" Steele: He said something about some unpaid bills... >"Aww, poo." said Washu, "I was in the middle of working on something >important." Her holo-top disappeared. Gene: WOO HOO!!! Steele & Leena: HOLO-TOP, dumbass! Gene: Oh... >Yosho sneaked out of the lab as Washu and Dexter met. >"So you think this is your lab?" questioned Washu, "Well, since I, the great Washu, >created this dimension, that's nearly impossible. Ryoko: Nothing's impossible, merely imPROBABLE. Others: (Look at Ryoko) Ryoko: What? Washu is my mom, after all. >But you seem really smart. I >would say for you to call me something different, but, since you're smaller >than I am..." >"Just who do you think you are, woman, and why do you think this is your >lab?" asked an agitated Dexter. Gene: Just how many of them are in that lab? Steele: Gene, don't. You'll get us in trouble with the other groups. >"Like I said, my name is Raccoom it rhymes with doom and you will be hurting >all too... Whoops! Sorry, wrong show!" said Washu. "Mental note: Don't >stay up until the Midnight Run to watch DragonBall Z." she thought. Steele: The hell? Waspinator: OW! Fourth fall juzt collapzed on Wazpinator >"Anyway my name is Washu and I am the greatest genius in the universe!" >"Yes! Washu is the greatest," said a doll that looked like a miniature >version of Washu that was marked "A." Ryoko: Gah! Kill it, kill it! Leena: I'm sensing some slight dislike here. >"Yes! She is the best," said an identical doll marked "B." >"The greatest genius in the universe? I am the greatest boy genius in the >universe!" said Dexter. "I challenge you to a battle of the minds. >Whomever wins gets the title Greatest Genius in the Universe!" >"I accept your challenge, but I hope you're ready to lose!" said Washu. >As they began cranking out cures for incurable diseases, Gene: Boogie Woogie Fever? Ryoko: And the Rock 'n Roll Flu. >methods of time >travel and dimensional destabilization, mathematical facts about black >holes, proving improvable postulates, and doing other scientific stuff, the >girl walked up to a big tank that had a lot of small brown creatures in it. Steele: Washu has an ant farm? Ryoko: Yeah, they're four feet long. Steele: Ewwww! >"Sea monkeys!" she said. Then she noticed a large red button with the >label "Do Not Push!" "Eeeewwww, what does this button do?" she said. Gene: AHHHHH! Mihoshi bred?! Washu's voice: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Others: (Sweatdrop) >Dexter noticed and said, "Nooo!!! DeeDee don't push that button!" >But it was too late the tank exploded! >Washu looked and then exclaimed in a frightfully angry voice, "Nooo! You've >freed the masses!" Ryoko & Steele: Uh, uh, uh. Wrong continuity! Gene & Leena: Smile and nod. >Ryo-Ohki sniffed the air. "Meow!" she said and then ran off toward the >house. Gene: Alright, who cut the cheese? Others (Hammer him) >"Ryo-Ohki where are you going?" shouted Sasami after her. She was helping >Tenchi weed the carrot patch after they were done swimming. All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Not 'At the Carrot Patch'! Noooooooooooooooooo!!!! >"Ah, she must've smelled a carrot." said Tenchi, wiping his sweaty brow. >"Although I'm thirsty. Let's take a break and go get a drink," he said to >Sasami. >"Sure let's go!" Sasami replied. Ryoko: Thank you god! Tsunami: No problem. (Fades out) Leena: Did you see that? Steele: No, and neither did you. >Meanwhile back at Dexter's end of the lab Mandark was looking for something. Gene: No, dammit! Why is he there? >"Ha ha ha. You are such a fool Dexter. You have left your lab open for >me to find the neurotomic protocore! Ha ha ha." But the neurotomic >protocore was nowhere to be found (In fact, Dexter had destroyed it after a >previous time-traveling adventure that had made him quite ill.) Ryoko: Well thank you for clearing up that plot point! Steele: Yeah, next he'll have Tenchi pick a girl! Ryoko: Pick me, pick me! "Darn you >Dexter, I will get you for this. Mark my words, I will always try to steal >your best inventions for my own prosperity! I swear it!" he yelled, >shaking his fist into the air. Then he heard a commotion from a long way >off. "So that's where you are. I wonder what you are up to..." Mandark >snuck off toward Washu's end of the lab... Leena: Of course. >Sasami and Tenchi were back at the house enjoying some lemonade that Sasami >had made that morning. >"Looks like Ryoko and Ayeka aren't doing their chores again," laughed Gene: Heh, heh. (Ayeka's logs appear, shock Gene (and the rest of the crew), then leave) Ryoko (Singed, to Steele): And you're not burnt, why? Steele: Force talents, remember? I can absorb energy to replenish my Force reserves. Gene (Crispy golden brown) And her? (points to Leena) Steele: I protected her. >Tenchi, glancing at the two girls asleep at opposite sides of the couch in >front of the TV, which was turned to a talk show. Steele & Gene: JERRY! JERRY! >"Yeah, I guess I'll have to do them again," sighed Sasami. >"Don't worry, I'll help you. You're such a big help in the carrot patch All: NOT AGAIN!!! >it's the least I could do," said Tenchi. >"Oh thank you thank you thank you so much!" said Sasami, giving a shocked >Tenchi a huge hug. "I knew I could count on you!" >"No, really Sasami, it's no problem!" said Tenchi, >with a large sweatdrop on the back of his head. Ryoko: Why that little.... Gene: She _is_ Ayeka's sister. >Washu ran out of her lab and screamed, "Everyone get down here, quick!" All: (Make rap noises) Wapinator: Peter will get you for that! >Then she ran back in. >With everyone assembled in the lab, Washu stated the bad news. "Yes, once >again the masses are free. Ryo-Ohki is not in control of them this time. >Instead this is." She turned around a chair at the back of the room. >DeeDee was bound and gagged in it. She had many electrodes attached at >various places on her body, and a large metal helmet on her head. "This is >DeeDee. She freed the masses, so they only obey her. Yet she refuses to >talk." >"Nope, I'm not going to say a word because you're only a friend of my >brother Dorkster." DeeDee said. Dexter fumed. >Mihoshi had fallen asleep. All: Again?! >Washu noticed as Kiyone tried to wake her. >"Mihoshi and Kiyone!" she snapped. >"Yes?" Mihoshi and Kiyone said in unison. >"You will stand with these books balanced on your heads so that you will >stay awake!" she said. Gene: Wha, wha, whaaaaa! >Ryoko snickered. >Unknown to the group, Mandark was listening to every word from the shadows. >"So," he thought, "my arch rival's beautiful sister has freed a creature >that I thought couldn't exist. Ha ha ha ha ha. I will find these creatures >once they fuse and bind them to my control. Ha ha ha." Steele: How the hell does_ he_ know about the MASU? >Then Mandark looked behind him. He thought he had heard something move by. >Then he saw what appeared to be DeeDee's shadow. "DeeDee..." he >unconsciously said aloud... >"Now we all remember how dangerous the masses can be, right?" asked Washu. >"These new ones that I bred are hybrid, so they are even more dangerous." Steele: That's it, improve creatures that can fire bolts of anitmatter. Great! >"So you mean this time they could actually kill me?" asked Ryoko >sarcastically. >"This is nothing to be joking about Ryoko. Last time you were > lucky. This >time you haven't a chance." Washu replied. >Ayeka snickered. Ryoko: I have _never_ heard her snicker. >The masses had noticed Mandark. They had taken the form of DeeDee and were >slowly raising their arm at him... Leena: This looks bad. Steele: For Mandark. >"Now we must probe DeeDee's mind since she will >not talk." said Washu. Leena: But we won't find anything. Steele: She makes Mihoshi look like a thinker. ">No Washu you mustn't!" said Sasami. "Not without her permission!" >"I'm sorry Sasami but I must. This is too dangerous to just let go." >replied Washu. Gene: Oh will you give it a break? Ryoko: SHUT UP! >Mandark was staring straight at the shadow as a light began to glow on the >masses fingertip... Steele: Nice knowing you, Mandark! >Washu turned on the mind-probing device. Multi-colored lights raced around >the helmet on DeeDee's head. Many pictures of ponies and of Dexter's end of >the lab appeared on the screen. Washu said, "Bingo!" Gene: Gin! Steele: Yatzee! Leena: Uno! Ryoko: Royal Flush! >as one picture became >clear on the screen. It was a picture of Mandark. Leena: Crushed under a twenty ton weight. >"Mandark! What does she want with him?" asked Dexter. >"It's quite simple really," said Washu. "She wants to kill him." Leena: Told you! >The entire group except Washu facevaulted. Kiyone and Mihoshi sent the >books flying. DeeDee's face filled with rage. Gene: Nope, can't picture it. Leena: Me, either. >This had distracted the masses for a second. Mandark snapped out of his >phase, realized what was going on, and then ran out into the main section of >Washu's side of the lab as everybody >was just standing up. "Oh no, save me, save me!" he yelled. All: "NO! NO! The group yelled back." >"What are you doing here, Mandark?" yelled Dexter. >"This is fantastic! Now let us recapture the masses!" Washu yelled out as >she handed everybody something that looked like a butterfly net. >"Uh, Miss Washu, pardon me for asking, but how are we supposed to capture >the masses with these?" asked Ayeka. Ryoko: Yes, without pissing them off? >"It's quite simple really. Just stick the net over the masses head! I am a >genius!" replied Washu. >They all facevaulted again, except Washu, who had a large sweatdrop appear >on the back of her head. >Mandark quickly jumped aside as a white beam of light shot through the room. >Suddenly Dexter netted the masses. Gene: Uh, anti-climatic? Steele: Just a little. >"I wanted to apprehend the masses!" whined Mihoshi, with two streams of >tears running down her face. Ryoko: Someone give her something shiny so she'll be quiet! >After another half an hour, the masses were back in their tank. Mandark was >strapped to one of Washu's testing tables, and DeeDee was free. All: (Sing 'Free Bird') >"I have to admit you are a pretty good scientist, Washu!" >said Dexter. >"Yes and you're not too bad yourself. Maybe we could help each other out." >said Washu. >"I think I'll install a teleporter from your side of the lab to my side." >said Dexter. >Washu glanced at DeeDee. "Do you think you could keep her out of it?" Steele & Leena: Hell no! >"I'm not quite sure. Well I have to go, it is already past my bedtime and >all... Have fun with Mandark!" exclaimed Dexter as he stepped into the >newly made teleporter. >"Yes... Mandark..." said Washu to herself as she turned to the table. >Then she began to laugh a maniacal laugh. Ryoko: Ooooh, I would have left him to the MASU. Gene: Yeah, less messy. >***********************^_^********************^_^************** All: It's over, it's over! >Well that was my first fanfic so I hope you enjoyed it. Steele: Not bad. Leena: For a crossover. >If you have >anything at all to say to it, then email me here: rpb3000@mad.scientist.com >Thanks for reading! >Oh and if you want to use this in a work of your own, please ask me first! >Thanks! ^_^ Ryoko: Hey, no prob! >Author's Note: This is my first fanfic, although I'm submitting it second for >technical reasons. Why? Well, because it was on a disk that I lost that I just >recently refound. Gene: Uh, refound? Steele: Eh, I'll give him that one, it's over. >If you have comments or constructive criticisms on it, send 'em >to me at rpb3000@mad.scientist.com, or if you have flames, send 'em to me at >telinj4615@clarkstate.cc.oh.us. If you want to M.S.T. it, Leena: Did it. Steele: Done it Ryoko: Good! >go right ahead, but I >would appreciate a copy of the finished work over email if it's not too much trouble. >This has been a DigIt Production. Can u DigIt? Leena & Ryoko: We can dig it! [Fic Ends] The MSTers file out of the theater. Ryoko and Steele head to the Projection Booth to get Gene and Waspinator. INT: Captain's ready room. A large open room, with several office-style chairs, couches, and low tables. Steele: So what did you think? Leena: Pretty good, actually Gene: The parts I was conscious for weren't too bad... Ryoko: It wasn't Tank Cop, but it wasn't Aikan Muyo either. Waspinator: Wazpinator got blown to zlag and crushed by flying hentai! Steele: Yeah, sorry about that. But hey, you'll get hazard pay. Gene: What about me? Steele: No. You still get standard pay. You're our hentai, you knew what it meant coming in. Gene: Fine, but I want high density Dragonite! Steele: Sure, sure. Gene: Now about that 'Force-tossing the hentai...' Steele (Does Jedi mind trick): But Gene, no one was tossing you... Gene (Zoned)...No one was tossing me.... Steele: Idiot (To Ryoko):Thanks for stopping by, Ryoko. It was a blast. Ryoko: Yeah, lets do this again. (Grabs him by the neck) Just make sure you have a better fic next time! Steele (Choking): Sure...Ry...oko...ca...n't...bre...athe... Ryoko (Drops him): Later. Steele (Still hoarse) Maximillian, escort Ryoko to the hanger deck. Max and Ryoko head out of the ready room Steele (To himself): Mental note: invite less dangerous guests next time. Leena: What was that? Steele: Uh, nothing! Care for a tour of the ship? Leena: Sure! They head out of the room, leaving Gene mumbling to himself. End Record Captain's log 020504 The first MST is complete. The fic was not the worst thing I've ever read. Gene and Leena are settling in nicely, although she did ask me to bring up her Zoid. Why she wants it I'm not sure, but hey, we've got the room. I have however learned not to steal food from her, on the plus side the bruises should heal soon. End Log Authors Note Yay, my first MST is done! It doesn't suck too bad, does it? Direct constructive criticism and comments to jgibb@adelphia.net. Flames will be reused and sent to fanfiction.net, damn them! NEVER FORGET 09/11/2001!!! MSTs FOREVER!!