Dumb or Dumber?
By Vid Sicious

DUMB & DUMBER meets Tenchi Muyo

<The setting is the arid deserts of Arizona. A stranded 
galaxy police officer sits on the side of the road, cursing 
at nothing. As she stands yelling every obscenity she can 
think of, a limousine pulls up>

KIYONE: God Dammit! All I ask is for Mihoshi to turn on the 
air conditioner and next thing I know I am beamed down to 
the middle of no where! Shit!

<The limo stops next to Kiyone and after a few minutes, the 
passenger seat rolls down to reveal a gap-toothed, bowl cut 
moron>

LLOYD: Um, hello. My driver got lost and he asked me to ask 
you if you knew how to get to SEA-TAC International 
Airport.

KIYONE: Take a look around! We are in the middle of no-
where! No people, no buildings, no nothing! Does it like 
there is an airport anywhere in this vicinity? Damn, not 
even I know where I am!

LLOYD: Um, are you lost too, ma'am?

KIYONE: Gee, no how ever did you guess that?

LLOYD: Well, I noticed that you were swearing obscenities 
and that you mentioned that you had no idea where you were. 
So I just put two and two together, and figured you were 
lost.

KIYONE: Gee, you are a quick one!

LLOYD: Thanks! Would you like a lift?

KIYONE: Oh, well. Sure.

<KIYONE climbs in the front passenger seat. The, 
"passenger," climbs up into the driver's seat and puts on a 
black cap>

KIYONE: What are you doing?

LLOYD: Well, someone's got to drive!

KIYONE: Never mind.

<LLOYD starts the car and starts driving down the hi-way>

LLOYD: So, where are you from? 

KIYONE: Osaka, Japan.

LLOYD: Oh, well g'day mate! How about we add another shrimp 
on the Barbie?

KIYONE: What the hell is that suppose to mean?

LLOYD: Well, duh! If you're from Japan you should know. 
Anyway, do you want to know the most annoying sound in the 
world?

KIYONE: Not really.

LLOYD: EEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!

KIYONE: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

LLOYD: Geez sorry.

KIYONE: Can't you at least turn on the radio, or something?

LLOYD: Who needs the radio? I got something better?

KIYONE: Like what?

LLOYD: MOCK! ..yeah.. ING! ..yeah... BIRD! ..yeah.. YEAH! 
YEAH!

<KIYONE Quickly pulls out a gun and points it at his head.>

KIYONE: You, Sir, are by far the stupidest creature on this 
planet I have ever met. Infact, you are so stupid that you 
are a threat to humanity. I must destroy.

LLOYD: OK, you have a point there, but before you kill me, 
I have a confession to make.

KIYONE: What is it?

LLOYD: I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy!
THE END

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