[Warhammer walks out calmly.]

     WH: You know, in this little escepade we call life, one can't help but
wonder what happens to those who just plain go wacko. (whips out a fan with
the kiyouki/insanity kanji on it) So, let's watch.

Define Happiness

A short Tenchi Muyo-fic
Written by
Teknos Warhammer

Kiyone ran with the plasma cannon in her arms. She turned around and fired
several more rounds of energy at her pursuer. She was inside the base of the
dark organization Shadow Star and its leader Nova was within as well. After
much hard work, and because of one certain partner, her cover was blown.

"But Kiyone, how can you be Nova? You're supposed to be a good guy!" Mihoshi
whined, ducking for cover.

Kiyone was in reality the leader of one of the most well run criminal
syndicates in the Galaxy Police sector of space. The Shadow Star. Whose
infamous and unknown leader that only went by the name of Nova. Now, the
only person outside of the Shadow Star who knew what Nova really looked like
was Mihoshi.

Which caused Kiyone to fire several more rounds of plasma at her former
partner. Her voice was laced with a slight touch of major insanity. "It's
easy Mihoshi. I needed something to get back at you and your bastard
Grandpa! Being underneath your eyes was the perfect cover. Now, I am finally
going to kill you for all the misery you caused me!"

Kiyone increased the power on the gun and blasted the box Mihoshi hid behind
into smithereens.

Of course, Mihoshi was tossed away by the blast to the other side of the
hallway. Where Mihoshi then took a hold of one of the machine gun lasers and
decided to continue her job. Even though she didn't like it. She stood up
and announced, "Kiyone Makibi. You are under arrest for grand theft,
larceny, arson, and too many misdemeanors to count. Come out now and give
yourself up."

Her only response was several more volleys of plasma. Until Kiyone realized
that her gun was out of ammunition. The only other weapon she had on her was
an older Earth 'Spyder', an automatic machine handgun. As if it would do her
any good! Also, was the small blaster on her gauntlet, good for only a few
shots.  So, throwing the empty cannon at Mihoshi, she ran to the only avenue
of escape possible. To the power levels of the station.

Several minutes later, the door to the power plant of the station threw open
and Kiyone ran though and onto the central platform. Mihoshi was still in
pursuit, trying to remember which rights to read to her criminal. In the
center of the platform, another floor hung above the steaming and glowing
Ultra Energy
Matter. The first of the two women yanked the door open and looked up to her
pursuer.

"I was always better Mihoshi. It's just that you always got the credit for
it because of the Marshall and stuck you to me like a curse!" She jumped
down the opening to the lower platform.
Without thinking, Mihoshi jumped down and landed, yet she didn't see the
person she pursued.

She heard a click behind her and turned around quickly to see Kiyone holding
the hand blaster at point blank. Yet, while Mihoshi turned the long barrel
of her weapon knocked the gun out of her hand. Kiyone's face was a mixture
of pure shock and rage.

"It! Is! Not! Fair! You always get out of it!" she screamed and fell on her
knees. Mihoshi couldn't help but feel sympathy for her friend, turned foe.

"Kiyone. You're under arrest. Please come quietly." She said holding the
barrel at her friend, which was a hard and scary thing to do. The tears on
Mihoshi's face came slow and painful.

After a few sniffs, Kiyone stood up and then remembered something that was
poking at the small of her back. Thinking fast, she pointed to the other
side of the room and screamed,

"WHAT'S THAT!?" Of course, Mihoshi turned around and saw nothing, but when
she turned back to see Kiyone putting a handgun to her head, an evil smile
on her face as she growled,

"Surprise." And unloaded all 12 bullets in, or through, Mihoshi's head. As
Mihoshi's body slumped to the ground, a thought came to Kiyone. Mihoshi was
dead! Though to most others, it would be tramautic, yet a smile began to
creep across her face.

        Mihoshi was gone forever! She began to laugh and had to hold onto
the
ladder for balance. She turned to the corpse and screeched, "You're dead,
Mihoshi! You got that? Dead! D-e-d, DEAD! Or are you just too stupid to
comprehend that too!" With that, she kicked the body into the UEM where it
would dissolve into nothing.

        Looking at the weapon that ended Mihoshi's life, Kiyone knew she had
to get
rid of it as well. As much as she didn't want to, she threw the gun into the
UEM as well. Such a weapon was rare in this part of space, but the amount of
money she had accumulated was even more than that. Besides, she could always
get another from smugglers.

        Climbing up the ladder, she made her way to the control room where
her
partners in crime were waiting for her. Yet, when she opened the door, she
found that they were all dead as well. "Oh no."

        She grumbled in frustration at seeing those loyal men get killed
because of
Mihoshi's luck. She sighed and turned to the direction of Mihoshi's new
tomb, "Mihoshi, if you weren't dead, I'd kill you."

        Walking forward, she found on the long range radar that a GP strike
force
was heading towards the base. With some quick thinking, Kiyone redirected
all the stolen money into her umbrella accounts and erased her records from
the reigstry. If all this went without a hitch, she'd be able to retire
already.

        That was when she noticed a little warning on the main screen that
Mihoshi's body and the Spyder had interferred with the power flow of the
base. So much that the base was going to blow up pretty soon. Turning on the
transceiver, she acted a voice of panic to the lead ship,

        "Hello? Anyone there? This is 1st Class Detective Kiyone Makabi. Can
anyone
here me?"

        Within seconds, the fleet commander's face appeared, "Yes,
Detective.
What's wrong?"

        "Hurry, you got to get me out of here! The base is going to blow up
within
a matter of minutes!"

        "Can you confirm that?"

        "Yes! Get a readout of the power flow of the base's integrity
field."

        Another cadet had voiced that Kiyone's message was indeed true and
that the
base would soon blow up.

        "Alright! Just try and get to an emergency pod and... wait, where's
Detective Mihoshi?"

        Kiyone faked a sigh, "She's dead. Nova killed her. I was
helpless..."

        "We'll talk about it later. Just get to an escape pod and we'll
recover you
as soon as we can!"

"Alright." She said calmly, then turned off the tranceiver. She turned
around and her fake frown of sorrow vanished into the most malicious grin
she could make. "Sucker."

*****

The next day, Kiyone met with the Grand Marshall of the Galaxy Police Force.
The Marshall did not take the death of his granddaughter that well. She was
able to console him a little bit by reiterating the same story she told the
commander of the strike force. Adding the fact that  the identity of Nova
would never be known among the GP.

Walking out of the office and into the elevator, Kiyone couldn't help but
smirk. Mihoshi was gone, she had been promoted to First Class Officer, she
would have no problems with money, the Marshall would soon follow in the
footsteps of his relative, and given a medal for bravery for 'avenging'
Mihoshi.

        "How did that earth saying go? 'It's miller time'?" She wondered
aloud. She
had no idea what a miller was, but it would seem appropriate right now.

That was when she woke up.

Looking around, it appeared to be a rather large and spacey office. She was
lying in a large and plushy chair. The office had a few files on the left
side and a picture or two on the right. There were several plaques and
certificates on the wall to her left.

Getting up, she walked to several of the plaques and carefully read each
one. Several for Bravery Under Fire? Promotions from Detective all the way
up to... Grand Marshall? She took a look at her lapel and confirmed her
suspicions. She _was_ the Grand Marshall.

>From one of the more recent picture showed that she had grown a few years
older. She looked like she was just reaching 40, but felt as if she were
half that age.

The others in the picture was somewhat surprising. It was Tenchi, garbed in
Juraian royal attire. On both of his sides, was Tsunami and on the other,
was a girl she couldn't recognize, but she was
human.

>From reading a her personal log, she found that Mihoshi was and had been
dead for a few years. Kiyone's boyfriend, Ramia, after going steady for a
year, proposed to her and had accepted .The diary she found went into detail
on how great a guy he was. Understanding, patient, and good humored.

Also, the other girl beside Tenchi in the picture was his long-time (and
secret) girlfriend, Hiwa Takahashi. Apparently, when he was about to leave
for Jurai, he requested that she accompany him. It eventually came to where
he proposed to her. Ryoko didn't take the news well.

The phone on her desk rung and when she answered it, it appeared to be a
direct call from Jurai itself. On the other side of the line appeared to be
Ayeka, by the looks of, it she had grown as well.

"Greetings Marshall. I trust Ryoko's been sleeping well?"

Kiyone blinked, that was when she remembered. Ryoko was arrested for
attempted assassination of Juraian royalty and Tenchi's fiancee, and was
time imprisoned just the day before. Ryoko was sentenced to the FULL arm of
Juraian law. Time sleep for the next ten thousand years. Even to the GP,
Tenchi's friends, and herself, that seemed a little too extreme. So, it was
reduced to five thousand years. Better than ten, Kiyone thought nervously.

She nodded in response to the Holy Councilwoman. Then a few choice memories
came back to her about this life.

"Good. I'll make sure and place the extra credits in your..."

"No."

Ayeka blinked as Kiyone replied. "Don't you remember? I DON'T take bribes.
Never had, never will. That was why the poor sap before me was kicked out. I
don't intend to make the same mistake he did."

The Juraian woman smiled darkly and replied, "Very well... I should have
expected that from you my friend. Either way, have a good day Marshall."

The line was cut and she sighed heavily. Relations with Jurai had been a
little smoother between them all, but the pure might of the Juraian fleet
made Kiyone think a little more than usual. Of course, Tenchi was a nice guy
and wanted as little confrontation as possible. Sadly, the Holy Council
thought differently at times. Good thing Ayeka was so good at blackmailing
all the black sheep of the council, or else they might as well have a war on
her hands.

She leaned back in her chair, took a deep breath, and pinched herself.
Nothing happened. It wasn't a dream, but a wonderful reality...

...except that she woke up again.

It was in her room at the apartment she and Mihoshi lived at. Mihoshi was
still asleep in the bed beside her. It was still dark, work wouldn't start
for several hours, and Kiyone wanted to cry.

        She turned to Mihoshi and whispered tiredly, "Mihoshi. I hate you!
You've
been nothing but a curse to me and I pray for your death to release me from
you." Without thinking, she took her standard pistol, aimed it at Mihoshi's
head, and fired. Not even bothering to look at the mess she made, she
placeed the gun back on the table and slumped back into sleep. If her guess
was right...

*****

        "Good morning!"

        Kiyone leaned up from her futon like a lever and saw that her
suspisions
were right. Mihoshi was still alive. She looked over and picked up her gun.
Looking at the register, no shot was fired. She looked at Mihoshi's bed and
sighed again. No shot bullet. No hole through the floor. No hole through the
pillow. No hole in Mihoshi's head... well, that was still under debate.

        Sighing once more, she stood up and started to get ready for work,
feeling
resigned to her fate. Life with Mihoshi. No further explanation was needed.

If there was pain, it couldn't last forever. Besides, one never know if she
might get lucky and Mihoshi would slip and fall and crack her head or
something to that effect. She frowned and said to herself, "Don't count on
it."

The End

[Outside their aparment, WH is taking a brisk early morning stroll.]

        WH: You know, life can downright stink sometimes. (Inclines his head
to
Kiyone and Mihoshi's apartment) Kiyone knows that all too well. And at
times, we find ourselves in dreams were we would be the most happy, filling
our beings with the phrase, "If only...". It's nice to get away at times,
but you all know, as well as myself, that life wasn't meant to be pleasant
and you'll have to buck up and face it.

        I also have a theory about people like Kiyone; the more you suffer
in life,
the greater your reward must be in the afterlife. To quote a late religious
leader, 'No suffering goes unnoticed. No experience is ever wasted.' So, if
that were the case, she must probably be in for something REAL good when her
time comes, provided she remain true to what she knows is right.

        I wrote this story as a way to vent out my anger after reading a
fanfic
which shall remain anonomyous. Needless to say, I was very displeased with
myself. I should have not let it get to me, but I did. Which proves that
people are people and that they make mistakes. It's not easy to avoid making
mistakes if you don't know what you are doing.

        Just a little FYI: Kiyone's boyfriend was the brother of the antagonist
of the Pretty Sammy mini-arc from the manga. Let it be known that he is
probably the ONLY thing related to Pretty Sammy that I will dare touch. So,
don't get your hopes up for anything related to that.

Now, I'm rewriting this just for fun and how I feel that Kiyone is one of
the more repressed characters in anime. Not that I'm showing any kind of
bias mind you.

(From the window of her apartment.)

Kiyone: (still tired and irritated) Yeah, whatever.

        Anyway, whether this will be a part of my mega-xover or not, it is
still undecided. I may or may not, but either way, it will have little to no
impact on my stories. Or will it?

And one last thing; Despite Kiyone's remark before she woke up the first
time, don't drink beer. It's bad for the body and soul. Besides, just think
of the cool stuff you could get besides beer... like, fishcrakers! Or Ice
Cream. Or other stuff...

Kiyone: Oh stop with the droning and get on with it.

I was. But since there's nothing more to say concerning this, I leave you
all and as the legendary Red Skeleton said, "Good night and may God bless."

        Kiyone: It's still morning, you know.

        Whatever!

[Warhammer continues on his jog away from the apartment as quickly as he can
jog.]

'We know the Golden Rule by heart, now let's live it!'
                                          -Common Sense
-Warhammer (ICQ#: 72406436)

http://www.geocities.com/teknos.geo/