Tenchi Muyo is copyrighted by Pioneerd LDC and AIC Monty Python is owned by those guys who brought us something completely different. ***************************************************************** * TENCHI PYTHON PRESENTS * * DEAD CABBIT SKETCH * * STARRING * * RYOKO ORIKASA as THE SHOP-KEEPER * * KIYONE MAKIBI as THE CUSTOMER * * and * * RYO-OKI as THE DEAD CABBIT * *with special appearrance by Tenchi Masaki as the Grand Marshall* ***************************************************************** SCENE: A Petshop. Ryoko is behind the counter when Kiyone walks in and says (by the way, they are speaking with British Accents) KIYONE: Excuse me, sir! RYOKO: What do you mean sir? KIYONE: I'm sorry. I have a cold. I wish to register a complaint! RYOKO: Uhhh...sorry! We're closed! KIYONE: Never mind that! I to register a complaint about this cabbit what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique! RYOKO: The Jurian Blue? What's wrong with it? KIYONE: It's dead, that's what's wrong with it! RYOKO: No, no she's not dead! She's resting! KIYONE: Look, mate. I know a dead cabbit when I see one and I'm looking at one right now! RYOKO: No, no. She's resting. Remarkable cabbit, ma'am! Beautiful fur! KIYONE: The fur doesn't enter into to it! She's stone dead! RYOKO: No, no. She's resting! KIYONE: Alright if she's resting I'll wake her up!(taps the cage) Hello, Miss Oki cabbit! I've got a nice, fresh carrot for you! (Ryoko hits the cage) RYOKO: There! She moved! KIYONE: No she didn't! You hit the cage! RYOKO: I never! KIYONE: YES YOU DID!(pulls the cabbit out of the cage and pits its head to her mouth) HELLO, OKI! AWAKEY-WAKEY!(bangs the cabbits head on the counter twice and yells in its ear again) THIS IS YOU 9 O'CLOCK ALARM CALL!(bangs its head on the counter a few more times and throws it up in the air only to fall like a brick) Now that's what I call a dead cabbit! RYOKO: She's stunned! KIYONE: STUNNED?! RYOKO: Yeah! You stunned her just as she was waking up! Jurian Blues stun easily! KIYONE: Don't play the slippery eel with me! That parrot is definetly deaceased. And when I purchased it not half an hour ago you assured me that its totall lake of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long Broad Jump(interstellar trip!) RYOKO: She's probably pining for the tree ships! KIYONE: PINING FOR THE TREE SHIPS?! What kind of talk is that? Why did it fall flat on it's back the moment I got it home? RYOKO: The Jurian Blue prefers keeping on its back! Beuatiful cabbit there! KIYONE: Look, tosh, I took the liberty of examining that cabbit when I got it home and found out that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there! RYOKO: Well, of course it was there. Look, mate, if I hadn't a'nailed there it would've muscled up to them bars, bent them a part with its little paws and VOOM!!! KIYONE: Mate, this cabbit wouldn't voom if you put 4 million volts through it! She's bleeding demised! RYOKO: She's pining! KIYONE: SHE'S NOT PINING! SHE'S PASSED ON! She has ceased to be! She's expired and gone to meet her maker(Washu?)! She's a stiff! Breathed of life she rests in peace! If hadn't nailed her to the perch she'd be pushing up the Royal Teardrops! She's of her twig! She's curled up her tootsies! She's shuffled of this mortal coil! She's run down the curtain and joined the Choir Invisible! She f@#*ing snuffed it! Vis-a-vi the metabolic processes she at her lot. All staments to the effect of this cabbit is still a going concern are from now on inoperative! THIS IS AN EX-CABBIT! RYOKO:...Well...I'd better replace it then! KIYONE: To the camera) If you want to get somthing done in this empire you've got to talk until your blue in the mouth! RYOKO: I had look in the back and we're fresh out of cabbits! KIYONE: I see, I see! RYOKO: I've got a slug! KIYONE: Does it turn into a spaceship? RYOKO: Not really! KIYONE: Then its hardly a replacement then, is it? RYOKO: Look, my sister owns a pet shop across town. If you go over there I'm sure- TENCHI: STOP THAT!(Enters the room wearing a GP Grand Marshall's uniform) I'm putting a stop to this sketch. It started off as a nice sketch about a dead cabbit but then it got silly. Director, when I say "cut" I want you to roll the ending credits. DIRECTOR- TENCHI PYTHON IS- TENCHI: WAIT FOR IT! DIRECTOR........CUT! TENCHI PYTHON IS TENCHI MASAKI RYOKO ORIKASA TSUNAMI JURAI MIHOSHI KURIMITSU WASHU HABIKI KIYONE MAKIBI Also starring Aeka Jurai Ryo-oki Nagi Hunter Ken-oki EXECUTIVE PRODUCER...........KATSUHITO MASAKI PRODUCER.....................SASAMI JURAI DIRECTOR.....................NOBOYUKI MASAKI CARTOONS BY..................AIC RESIDENT ASS-KICKER..........SEION MAKIBI RESIDENT ASS-KISSER..........MITSUKI RIPPED OFF FROM..............MONTY PYTHON RIPPED OFF BY................PATRICK "SEION" STEWART RIPPED OFF AT................alliemae@mail.earthlink.net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I WAS BORED! NOW DON'T ASK!