Somewhere in the far off reaches of the known universe located deep in the Cultural Wasteland(OK, to be more exact, It's South Western Pennsylvania. You live there long enough and you realize that it is the Cultural Wasteland, but now I'm getting off track...) Anyway...deep within the hidden refuge of the CWAAA(Cultural Wasteland Anime Association of America) sits the evil sadistic Dr. J-chan. He grimaces in horror as he reads one of the most atrocious piece of fan-fiction ever written. He groans in agony as it inflicts horrible pain on his cerebral cortex and whatnot. After resting for a moment(and after hurling his computer out a nearby window) Dr. J-chan thinks for moment. *Hmmm...this "work" is truly horrible. If it reaches the general public, who knows what damage it could do to people?* At that point, Dr. J-chan realizes that this fic is perfect! It is the perfect tool TO ANNOY HIS FRIENDS!!! Dr. J-chan grabbed his kendo stick and activated his transporter and sets his plan into motion. A moment later... Shadow looks around at his target and motions his arms out. A moment later, at the targets splinter and explode as Shruiken destroy them. Shadow folds his hands in satisfaction. A moment later, his concentration is shattered, along with his skull as he is blind-sided by a kendo stick... Dr. J-chan: +Dragging Shadow+ Whoa ho ho...a "TRUE" ninja learns to hide his presence... Dr. J-chan and Shadow dematerialized a moment later. WhiteRose works furiously maintaining the precious connection to the communications HUB, or rather she would...if she wasn't drooling over Fushigi Yuugi pics... WhiteRose: Mmmmm....you're so yummy Tamahome... A moment later Dr. J-chan materializes behind her and chloroforms her into dreamland... The lab is a smoking ruins. J-san the resident Chemist is lying in a pile of rubble in a deep coma. A moment later Dr. J-chan materializes and then looks down... Dr. J-chan: Ahhhh...it's so nice when I don't have to do anything... The trio of J-san, Shadow, and WhiteRose find themselves sitting in a small basement simulation. They are strapped down to a large couch and the trio begin to struggle. Suddenly a voice booms over a hidden PA System. Dr. J-chan: You will find escape to be quite impossible my friends. Trio: Hi Dr. J-chan. Another experiment? Dr. J-chan: +Sweatdrop+ why...yes. Dammit! You guys ruined the big surprise! WhiteRose: So what is it this time? Genetic mutations? Shadow: Cyborgnetic enhancements? J-san: Virtual Reality? Dr. J-chan: What do I look like? Santa Claus?!? No, all I want is for you to watch some anime... +The Trio begin to hoot and hollar in appreciation...+ Dr. J-chan: ...fan fiction. +The Trio stops...+ J-san: What kind of fan fiction. Dr. J-chan: A Tenchi Muyo one. WhiteRose: Well...that's not too bad... Dr. J-chan: A Lemon. Shadow: Could be worse. Dr. J-chan: A Sasami gets Tenchi Lemon. +J-san starsts banging his head off the back of the wall...+ J-san: Kill me...kill me...kill me...kill me... +A small pillow materializes behind J-san's head and cushions further blows...+ Dr. J-chan: Oh no, you don't get off that easy. I've decided that this fic could very well be my key to world domination! So I'm studying on how it affects you before I unleash it upon the general populace... WhiteRose: You sick, sadistic bastard! Dr. J-chan: Thank you. I'm kind of proud of this one. Well, I must now cease communications. Can't afford any MORE exposure myself. Enjoy the show my "friends"...Bwahahahahhahah...HAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHA...HA HA!!!!.... +Dr. J-chan's voice cuts out and the room is eerily calm. Like the kind of calm that people experience before the hockey mask wearing chainsaw killer emerges and kils off most of the extras...+ WhiteRose: We Must be strong! Shadow: We must resist! J-san: We must slam the hell out of this fic! It's our only chance! Trio: Hoo-zah! And so it came to be This unlike trio would become... THE CWA^3 ANIME FAN-FIC DEPRECIATION SOCIETY THEATER The players: Shadow: The Brainy Sarcastic One WhiteRose: The Brainy Sarcastice One J-san: The Brainy Sarcastic One (Maybe it's not so unlikely of a trio afterall...) and The Evil Dr. J-chan, montitoring this whole experience on a hidden silent camera... +The Trio stare ahead as the room darkens slightly and the fic begins to scroll on an a holographic "screen"... WhiteRose: Well...it has begun. +Shadow begins to imitate the Mortal Kombat theme...+ J-san: If I wasn't tied here, I'd smack you... >This is DEFENTLY not for childern! Shadow: Oh God! As an English Education Major, I can already tell that I'm in for a living hell... J-san: What are CHILDERN? WhiteRose: I don't know, but if we see any, We'll be sure to tell them to avoid this like the plague... >Wait a sec.....if u were a child any way.. >YOU PROBABLY WOULDNT UNDERSTAND >THIS AT ALL SO WHY IS THERE A >"WARNING" IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Shadow: To Protect life on this planet as we know it? WhiteRose: Thank you for at least giving the audience that. J-san: But I think it should say "This is definitely not for ANYBODY who breathes." >------------------------------------------------------------ WhiteRose: Standard separation line. Shadow: We should try to cross the border...into a good fic! >Part 1 of the "No Need For Virgins" Lemon fan/fic series. J-san: It both a fan AND a fic! WhiteRose: It's not just a horrible lemon, it's a transformer! > *Virgins No More* Shadow: Well, it sounds soooooo promising... > By: AncientYUME > Featuring: Tenchi and Sasami! J-san: Here's our culprit, put out an APB! WhiteRose: The Crime, possession of a keyboard with the intention to write... Shadow: And for the murder of the English language! > The sun rose once morning upon the Masaki Home. The sharp >beems of light glared through the windows of the eastern >side of the household. Tenchi was awoken by the light as a >ittle beamed through his curtains. He refused to open his Shadow: Must...remain...strong....must resist urge to correct every piece of...incorrect...grammar... WhiteRose: Let it go, you'll feel better... Shadow: Ok, where to start? "The sun rose once upon the Masaki House"?!? Doesn't the sun rise EVERY DAY?!? Wow, it must have been a shock for Tenchi, since he's lived in total darkness his whole life. Um.. "Beems?!?" "Ittle?!?" J-san: It's called a word processor with a spell check...invest in one kid. Shadow: You fool! That'll only encourage him to write more! WhiteRose: Doh! >eyes and come to accept he had awoken from his dream. This WhiteRose: What a wonderful dream! I was is a good fan-fic for once! >dream had was like no other, he imagined Ryoko and Ayeka >fighting, yes that seems normal but....He also made love to >them later in the same dream. A threesome, and what a burst >of pleasure he had. He had never felt such pleasure before. Shadow: Tenchi Exploded! WhiteRose: Yay! The fic is over! J-san: I don't think we're that lucky guys... >He never could have imagined acculy having sex with them, J-san: Why not? Every hentai freak with a keyboard already has. Shadow: Harsh... J-san: Sorry, but Lemon writers can piss me off sometimes. Shadow: I was talking about the spelling "acculy" >both at the same time!! He did though, he imagined it all >night, and it left him wet. For it was his first wet dream. WhiteRose: Poor boy, he's 17 and he only now experiences a wet dream... Shadow: Such a late bloomer... > He opened his eyes. The sun blinded him, for his eyes >failed to ajust in time! >*Wow, whata dream. I never thought i would ever even think >such a deed* Tenchi thought to himself. > He rubbed his head and pulled off the covers. His pants >warm and wet. Shadow: Damn....pissed the bed again. WhiteRose: and the waterbed sprung a leak too. J-san: And that glass of water I had on my night stand spilled too... >*Damn, i gotta shower now* Shadow: Me too. I feel dirty for some reason >So he stood up and grabbed a few colths and headed off the WhiteRose: What are COLTHS? Shadow: I don't know, but if I have to point out EVERY spelling, grammar, and writing error this guy/girl/thing uses then I'm gonna burn myself out in the first 5 minutes... >the shower, stil trying to grasp the quickly faiding dream >of the joy of sex! J-san: Hey! Tenchi likes to read in his dreams... Shadow: "The Joy of Sex?" Heard about that one...never read it though... > Sasami was hard at work making a lite breakfest! She was WhiteRose: And it's break-FEST '99!!! Join the party as all your favorite hardcore bands smash the hell out of the Masaki Shrine! >humming as she went along; sterring batter, rolling dow, and >choping fruit. Tenchi came down the stairway and smelt the Shadow: Man do those Juraians have weird words for food and cooking techniques. "sterring?" "dow?" "choping?!?" WhiteRose: I though you weren't gonna do that anymore?!? Shadow: Right now, it's the only thing keeping me sane! >aroma of Sasami's tipical handy work. He was shower robe >and he was drying his hair with a towel. >"Oh Tenchi good morning!" Sasami shouted with glee as she >saw tenchi heading into the kitchen. >"Oh, good morning Sasami. I didnt see you there for sec"He J-san: Yeah, I can see how you could miss her...just standing there...in the middle of the kitchen... WhiteRose: I didn't know that she could turn herself invisible... >replied (STILL thinking about he dream and how hard it made >him now.) > Sasami hopped off her little stool and aproached Tenchi as >he went to the table. She had her hands behind her back. Her >face was bright and tender, and she had wonderful little Shadow: Her face...is so...tender...and Juicy...and succulent... WhiteRose: Eeww...Gross Shadow! >smile across it. Tenchi sat down on the pillow and crossed >his leggs. J-san: Tenchi wears pantyhose? Shadow: It's always the quiet ones... >"Hmm i cant ait to see what you made Little Sasami!" Tenchi >laughed as he saw her coming tward him. WhiteRose: Baka! I'm just plain Sasami! You're mixing me up with Washu again! Shadow: Shouldn't it be Washuu with 2 'u's? J-san: Washu is spelled with 23 u's DAMMIT! >"Here u go Tenchi!" She said softly as she revieled the >plate behind her back. Shadow: Hey Tenchi! Watch me pull a Cabbit out of mid air! WhiteRose: AGAIN??? >"Wow Sasami! It looks wondeful, Pancakes, muffens, and >choped fruit!" He exclaimed. Shadow: I thought that this was a "tipical" breakfast? J-san: Yeah! Where's the Miso? The Fried vegetables? The fish?!? WhiteRose: Has anyone EVER seen Tenchi or the gang eat a GAIJIN breakfast? > She gently put the pllate down in front of his and he dugg >in. She sat down next to him and placed a plate before >herself. She grabbed some chopsticks and began to eat-up the >wonderful meal. About this time, it finaly acured to Tenchi, >Where is everyone else! WhiteRose: Hey guys? How does one eat Muffins and Pancakes with chopsticks? Shadow: I've given up...I'm gonna succumb to the madness now... >"Hey Sasami, where is everybody?" He asked her as she just >stuffed a large amount of food in her mouth. She struggled >to swallow quickly so she could answer. J-san: Gasp! Can't...breath...now, I'll never have sex with Tenchi and thus will spare the readers additional agony! WhiteRose: All in favor of this ending, say 'I'... >"Oh yeah! Let me see now." She said gently, "Ryoko and Ryo- >ohki went with Mihoshi---" >"Why?" Tenchi asked suddenly, accidently cutting her off. WhiteRose: They went to go kill themselves when they learned that I was the one who got to sleep with you. >"They went ot go help Minagi and Washu fix Minagi's >Spaceship, and Ayeka, Father, and GrandFather went into to >town to buy somethings. They should all be back later this >evening.",She said. Shadow: Wow! He must feel proud...he included a Manga Reference! J-san: Let's bow down to his fandom... >"So we're here, just you and me?" he asked uncalmly. >*I would think Ayeka or Grandfather would have woken me up!* >He Thought. Shadow: You fool! Never point out to your audience how unlikely your plot really is! Its pretty fragile as it stands now... >"YUP, just you and me Tenchi!" She shouted with delight. > They finished their meals and looked at each other. >"Wow, great meal Sasami!" Tenchi smiled. >"You realy mean it!?" She shouted. WhiteRose: No...just humoring you... >"Best you've ever made. Your a great cook but this was ju--- >-" He was cut short when Sasami lunged apon him, attaching >herself to his torso with a huge hug! Shadow: We now see the Female Juraian Princess lunge upon her prey, the Japanese wuss-boy. A favorite prey of alien princesses. Notice the bright plumage as she shows her excitement... WhiteRose: Now, I'm gonna stick my thumb up her butt-hole and see how much it pisses her off... >"Thank you Tenchi! I---" Sasami stoped. > She was on his lap, with her arms still around him as she >felt something hard within Tenchi's pants. J-san: Shouldn't Tenchi be stuffing dollar bills on Sasami right about now? >"UUmmm Sasami, Maybe you shou----"He failed to finish his >sentence. When his nose began to bleed! >"Tenchi are you OK?" She sounded worried, "Your nose is >bleeding!" >"Umm Sasami! I...I.."He studdered. >"YOUR A NAUGHTY BOY TENCHI!!!!" She shouted and quickly >stood up. Her face was red with anger. She turned and >started to walk away. >"SASAMI wait!" Tenchi pleeded! He stood up and advanced her, >puting his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him. >"Your thinking nuaghty thoughts Tenchi! She countined. "I >dont like those things!" He voice began to raise. "I'm goin- J-san: YES! An unwilling Tenchi-girl! Shadow: Does this mean the fic is over? >-----" She was intrupted by Tenchi mouth covering her own. WhiteRose: And he proceeded to suck her life-force thus making this a dark fic and ergo much more bearable... J-san: Yay... >*Damn, I shouldnt have done that! It was the only way i >could get her to be stop yelling though* He thought. Shadow: Then why are you still doing it? > Their mouths were still locked as Sasami's yelling turned >into whimpers. WhiteRose: She realized that that point that she was trapped in a wannabe writer's "great work..." >* I have never.....never...been kissed before.* She thought >to herself. * I should Struggle, but...but. I dont want to. >Tenchi is.....he.....I. I've always wanted him to kiss....* WhiteRose: Resistance is futile. J-san: Struggling is irrelevant. > He quickly noticed she wasnt struggling. He put his hands >on her shoulders so he could stay balanced while he was nelt >down. Then the image of the dream came to mind once more. >The vision of sex. The pleasure has never felt. With this >image he continued to kiss Sasami, but he began to move his >tounge into her mouth. Sasami was surprised, but she didnt >resist. J-san: Tenchi is a pedophile...Tenchi is a Pedophile... >*This may be my only chance to feel what i felt last night, >We're alone...but..but with SASAMI!?* His mind rased! Shadow: Wow! Tenchi just summed up what the entire audience was thinking at that moment. > As she began to move her tounge into his mouth, he broke >the kiss. He opened his eyes and looked at Sasami is >question. She was very surprised, and she was blushing. WhiteRose: Hey! You break it, you bought it! Shadow: Sasami is Question?!? What the hell does that mean?!? J-san: it's a riddle wrapped inside a puzzle wrapped inside a question... >"Tenchi....I" She tried to speak. >"Sasami i'm sorry I did that to you., but it was my onl---" >He was cut off. >"Dont be sorry, I enjoyed it." She said gently. WhiteRose: She's faking the enjoyment... Shadow: How can you tell? WhiteRose: Woman's intuition... > With those words Tenchi's opened wide with surprise! He >didn't expect Sasami to say that. He alos didnt expect to >she was she did next. She advance rapidly and kissed him >again, hugging him tighty. >*Wha?!*He thought > She began to force her tounge into his mouth. He didnt >reisist and he began to work with her. She pressed all of J-san: Work with me people! I want romance! Drama! >her weight onto him. He couldn't catch his balance, so he >fell back onto the floor, Sasami stil hugging him, their Shadow: and then Tenchi broke his neck and thus the fic ended... WhiteRose: Yay... >lipps stil locked in the passionet kiss. She layed on top of >his, moving her body with the motion of their mouths. Her >leggs were rubbing up against Tenchi's hard-on. This gave >Tenchi pleasure. Pleasure he wanted to feel so much. As she >unlocked her amrs from around him and braced herself above >him. He put his hands on her little waste. J-san: Let's ignore the sex for a moment and once again ask our English/Education major to point out the grammatical errors... Shadow: YAY!!! OK...First, What is this guy's/girl's/thing's problem with adding double letters? Does his keyboard have a stuttering problem? "her Little waste?" Um...why would Tenchi want to touch her refuse/garbage/um...other stuff? I think he meant WAIST!!! Not only does he need to learn how to write, he needs to learn anatomy too! We have LEGS not leggs, LIPS...not LIPPS! BAKA BAKA BAKA!!! WhiteRose: He's gonna snap! > Time seemed to stoped as thier kiss went on. More and more >passionet with every thrust of tounge. Tenchi couldnt help >himself! He wanted to feel more pleasure, much like his >dream. So he slowly moved his hands under her shirt. He >could feel Sasami's soft, young skin. His heart was pounded >as his hands advancer up up her stomach tward her chest. As >his fingers touched the very endge of her braw, she grabbed Shadow: No no! A BRA is for ladies...say hello to the BRO... J-san: The Manzier! >his hands, and broke thier kiss. > She sat down on his stomach and rose her torso up. She >forced his hands out from up under her shirt. Her face was >flushed. WhiteRose: Did she sit down or rise up? Make up you FRIGGIN' MIND!!!! >"No tenchi, dont do that.....I...." She tried to finish then >sentece. >"Sasami, dont worry. I....I've always wanted to do >this..but" He couldn't quite bring himself to do it. Shadow: Hoo-ray! Tenchi may be having a Conscience attack! We're saved! J-san: Those high morals strike again! >"Tenchi, I always wanted this too but I...oh .no!" She >exclaimed and gasped quickly. She was surprised, she was >didnt mean to say those things. Tears formed in her eyes, >and she covered her face. >"Sasami..." He said softly. > Putting his arms on her shoulders. He brought her down >close to his face. He gently undcovered Sasami's tear swept >face. Brushing away her tears with his finger. >"I love you." He said to her gently. WhiteRose: Yeah right! And the next thing he'll tell her is that he'll call too..Hmmmph! Men! > She smiled and closed her eyes. Tenchi lowered her head >and met her lips to his. The began to kiss once more. He put >his hands on her waste and slipped them under her shirt. She >didnt resist. His hands moved up to chest and he cupped her >cotton bra. He couresed he little breasts. Once more she >grabbed his hands and she forced them out. Raising her self >up. Breaking their kiss. Tenchi began to speak in protest, >but Sasami covered his mouth with her index finger. >As she sat down apon his stomach, she grabed the ends of >her shirt, crossing her arms at the same time. She slowly >lifted the little white shirt over her head. Revealing her >small breats covered by a thin cotton bra. She threw the >shirt aside and put her amrs behind her back. Undoing the >bra. >*Why am I doing this? I can't control myself*She thought. J-san: That's because you're being manipulated by an evil evil person! A person who probably masturbated while writing this... WhiteRose: Thank you so much for THAT image... >The slid the straps off her shoulders and let the bra fall >onto Tenchi. Tenchi's eyes opend wide with surprise. He had >seen Sasami's breasts. They were small and undeveloped, but >her nipples where large and brownish. He divorted his eyes >to her face. She was blushing. Shadow: Are you embarrassed to be in this fic as well? WhiteRose: quit DIVORTING your eyes...it's very weird! >"There very beautiful Sasami, Thank you." He said softly > She smiled and grabed his hands. She brought them up to >cup her small breasts. She gasped as his fingers touched her >skin. He rubbed them for a little while, then he gripped her >sides and lowered her toward him. He places her right nipple >onto his mouth. He began to suck it and lick all aorund it. >She gasped with pleasure. Tenchi played with her left breast >with his right hand. Shadow: Now nibble her earlobe! WhiteRose: Caress her neck! J-san: You're not supposed to shout ADVICE to them! > Sasami gasped and moaned with pleasure. He began to bite >on her nipple lightly. Then he quickly circled her nipple >with the tip of his toung, and he began suck open it. He J-san: Suck open it?!? Is that physically possible? >placed his right hand on her waste, and he bagen to move her >over his hard-on within his pants. They both moaned with >excitment. They seemed to continue for hours until Tenchi >finally released her hard nipple. He placed both hands on >her waste and looked into her sweet face. She smiled at him. Shadow: I'm not even touching that one again... >He lifted her off of him and he stood up. He brought her up >with him. Sasami seemed alittle confused at this point. >He took her hand a walked toward the low table on the >floor. He picked her up and sat her down gently on the >table. Tenchi then took of his shirt. >"Sasami, did you like that?" he asked. WhiteRose: Eh...had better... >"Y...Yes Tenchi. I loved it. Can we do more?" She asked >eagerly. Shadow: Wow! From Na‹ve girl to full fledged slut in one morning! > Tenchi's cock was longing to be freed from it clothed >prison. It boiled apon his skin and swealed within his >pants. Tenchi moved around unconftorably. J-san: Watch it! His pants are gonna blow! >*I Shouldn't...but...but i can't help my self!* He screamed >within his mind. WhiteRose: All in favor of neutering Tenchi, say 'I' J-san and Shadow: I!!! Shadow: All in favor Neutering the author say 'I' All THREE: I!!! I!!! A Million times I!!! > At that point Tenchi reached down and unbuttoned his >pants. Then unzipping them. Sasami was shocking and WhiteRose: PIKA-CHU!!!!! >surpised. She didnt know what to do, but she couldnt look >away either! With a suddon moan from Tenchi he lowered his >pants and underguards to reveal his long silky cock. J-san: Whoa! Never fuck with a guy whose genitalia has an armed escort!!! >Sasami's eyes were wide with shock. She was speachless. Her >mind raced. She looked apon his cock, and the more she >looked apon it. The more she couldnt resist it. Tenchi was Shadow: Loooooook...Loooook...into my penis! WhiteRose: I'm...helpless...can't...resist... >emmbaressed and he struggeld to do something. He looked at >Sasami's face and he went into shock., and closed his eyes. J-san: He's going into shock! He's Flat-lining!!! > Then he felt Sasami's hands grabb his waste. He opened his >eyes at looked apon her. She was knelt down infront of him, >and her eyes were locked onto his cock. Her mouth aproached >his cock, but then she stopped. Tenchi then put his hands on >her head. He brushed her hair and looked down apon her. He >nodded his head and she nodded back. He gently moved her >head tward his cock and she opened her mouth wide. Trio: ... Shadow: It's like a car wreck...It's horrible, but I can't turn away... > The hot member entered her wet mouth. Tenchi was frozen >with pleasure as she took in his cock. Her tounge rubbed >against it as it continued to proceed furture into her. WhiteRose: Fight the FURTURE!!! >*Its so hot! I never felt anything like this before!* Her >mind raced with pleasure and emmbaresment. > Then she began to move his cock in and out her mouth. She >closed her eyes and she slowly continued. Tenchi was moaning >and twitching his waste. Moving it in a rotating motion, J-san: God Dammit! I wish these two would quick fucking with all this waste!! >aiding Sasami as she sucked it. She began to pick up her >pace, she would move it more quickly. She would almost fully >take it out of her mouth, but she would keep the head within >her. She circled it with her tunge and she began to suck >more. >Tenchi was in bliss. He was finaly feeling this pleasure he >wanted so badly. WhiteRose: Self Self Self! Is that all he can think about? What about her needs...? Shadow: I guess that proves that this was written by a guy... >Sasami realized she couldnt fit all of into her mouth, so >she grasped the rest of the cock with her right hand, She >began to quckily jack it off while she sucked faster, >faster. Tenchi graped her head and moaned loudly. It was a J-san: Dammit Tenchi, quit trying to grape my head! As this fic shows, it's completely empty! >wonderful feeling. He couldnt stop himself. It felt so good. >He didnt want it to ever end. She continued for sometime, >and was enjoying herself. She could feel Tenchi's cock >twitching and concolsing. It grew hotter and hotter as she >quickend. Saliva was dripping from her mouth and Tenchi's >cock. Then Tenchi felt something. Something he never felt >before. It was a his cock. It felt as if it were about to >burst. He paniced and quickly stoped Sasami from sucking. Shadow: I know this is a mute point now, since it's been proven that this asshole can't write, nor does it look like this person can even TALK right...But here's a question. Are we supposed to believe that Tenchi has no fucking idea what an orgasm is like?!? Didn't this story start with him having a wet dream?!? What the fuck do you think a wet dream is!?! WhiteRose: Another reason why 5 year olds shouldn't be allowed to write porn... >Her eyes opened wide with surprise. She slowly removed >Tenchi's cock from her mouth and she looked up at Tenchi, >with a worried look. Tenchi appeared to be in pain. His face J-san: QUIT BITING!!! >was red and covered with sweat. She released his member and >she stood up. >"Tenchi?" She asked, trying to comfort him. >"I'm fine Sasami, I just felt something odd about to happen. >I'm fine now." He reasoured her. J-san: Hey! Tenchi and the author have something in common. WhiteRose: What's that? J-san: They have no idea what sex is like, and most likely...they never will. >"Ten..chi.." She said gently while looking into his eyes. >"Sasami...you were great. I never felt anything like it." He >said >"You liked it!" She shouted with glee. WhiteRose: He likes it! Tenchi Likes it! >"I loved it." He comforted her. > She smiled and hugged him. Tenchi returned the hug. Then >he put his arms on her shoulders and he lowered her onto the >table once more. He sat her down. He reached down to her >waste and he began to undo her skirt. She didnt resist and >she allowed him to do as he wanted. He pulled the little >skirt and her panties off slowly. She leaned back and WhiteRose: Hey! There's a tag on those panties! What does it say... "Do not defile until 18" Shadow: Meanwhile, back on Jurai, in the royal chambers... J-san: I sense a great disturbance in the force... >allowed him to get them down her leggs. He removed them and >threw them aside. Sasami now laid apon the table naked. >Tenchi then put his hands onto her leggs. He slowly opened >them. He spred her leggs wide and he looked down apon her >virgin clint. Shadow: Hey WhiteRose, I thought I was familiar with Female anatomy, but...Where on the female body is the CLINT?!? WhiteRose: Well, she is an alien...maybe it's a unique thing... J-san: Go ahead Tenchi...Make my day... >*I've never seen a girls before!* He quickly thoght to >himself. Shadow: and apparently, those other 4 girls LIVING with him escaped his attention. WhiteRose: Apparently, Sasami was invisible while she gave him a blowjob. > He got closer to her and he looked down apon Sasami's >face. She quickly looked away and gasped. He knelt down over >her and he gently touch her face. He turned it to face his >own. >"Whats wrong?" He asked quitly. J-san: Well, I wasn't gonna say it...but...Damn, you ugly! >"I'm....I'm emmbaressed..please dont look at ....n...me" She >silently replied. Shadow: That's ok, I can do the next part with my eyes closed... WhiteRose: Don't be so sure, this guy would probably have him screw that up too... >"How could I stop looking at you. You so beautiful Sasami. I >love you." He gently explained as he drew closer to her. >"I...I lover you to Tenchi" She said ans smiled softly. >"Are you ready?" Tenchi asked. Shadow: To bow to the masters? Break it down! WhiteRose: Yeah...two words: SUCK IT! J-san: God! Don't give this asshole any suggestions! >"Please Tenchi....Please be gentle." She muddered, almost >seeming to talk to herself. J-san: Arrrrr! Me be plunder'n and pillag'n so me can bring a gift to me dear mudder...arrrrr... WhiteRose: Boo! Weak! J-san: They can't all be gems... >"I wouldn't do it any other way my love." He said in a >comforting voice. Shadow: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW ANYWAY! > She smiled and nodded. He looked down and he placed >himself before her little virgin clint. He then placed his >cock at the opening. He gently rubbed her sensitive skin >with his hard cock. She moaned. He then began to slowly >force his member into her. She gasped as it entered her. >Tenchi brased himself and he continued to enter her. J-san: Now you're probably wondering...did he fire 5 shots or 6? You gotta ask yourself "Do I feel lucky?" Well Do ya? Punk! Shadow: Well...yeah...I'm gettin' me some! >*Its so tight, I dont think i can get it into her.* He >thought. WhiteRose: Don't worry Tenchi...muscles stretch...bones break... Shadow: Now do you see why you shouldn't FUCK little girls you sicko! >He then felt her barrier, panicing he forced his cock in >swiftly. Tearing into her. She screamed with pain. Tenchi >paniced and looked apon Sasami. >"Ouch!" Sasami squealed, "It hurts." WhiteRose: WHAT PART OF "GENTLE" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND YOU MORON!!! >"I'm sorry did ---" He tried to speak, but she cut himoff. >"Its alright Tenchi. Please continue. Even though it hurts. >-gasp- I like it." She said softly. J-san: Oh, that just takes the cake...now Sammy's got an S&M complex to boot. Shadow: This fic is giving me a complex... WhiteRose: Hey Sasami, wanna talk pain? Try reading this tripe! > So Tenchi filled her with his member. He then moved her >leggs around him. She locked her leggs across his back. Then Shadow: For God's sake! How hard is it to spell LEGS!?!? L-E-G-S!!! >Tenchi began to drive into her. She would moan and gasp with >pleasure with every thrust. Her eyes we closed and her mouth >was open wide. She grasped Tenchi and held him tight while >he drove in and out of her slowly. >He then began to speed up and move faster. Her clint was J-san: CLYDE!!! >squeezing his cock and forcing it into her. He moaned with >her. >They continued to fuck on the table for a long time in >that position. Tenchi's skin was slapping against hers with >every thrust. Her moaning and breathing grew londer and they >fucked. Sasami released Tenchi from her grasp and he stood Shadow: Such eloquence...makes me long for the well written content of Tank Cop's work WhiteRose: Or maybe Shinji, the 10 o'clock assassin... >over her, still driving ito her faster and faster. He then J-san: Judge Ito, if the penis don't fit, you must acquit! >grabbed her wastes and he forced himself into her harder. >"Oh god! -gasp- oh -gasp- dont stop! -gasp- Harder Tenchi! >-gasp- Deeper!" She shouted! >He did as she asked. He pounded into her with increasing >force. She laid on the table, he breasts swaying back and >forth with every thrust. Finaly Tenchi was feeling the Shadow: I thought he said that she had small breasts... WhiteRose: Does it even matter anymore... >pleasure he was searching for. He couldn't stop now. He had >finaly lost his Virginaty as his dream seemed to fortell. >Tenchi then slowed. He unlocked Sasami's legs. He then J-san: Now what was that combination again? 69 left...13 right...42 left? >released his cock from her. She laid on the table, her eyes >closed, gasping for air. He then laid down beside her. With >his left arm he lifted her left leg and forced his cock into >her. He began to thrust faster than before. She brased >herself up with her right arm and she put her left hand onto >his head. Her heart was racing, she never fully realized >what she was doing, but she enjoyed ever second of it. WhiteRose: Apparently, the secret to great sex is IGNORANCE! J-san: Rose, I'm confused. What is the purpose of this piece? WhiteRose: To turn horny fanboys on so they'll wank off...to put it bluntly... Shadow: Well, then he failed at that... > Their bodies worked together as they contiued to fuck on >ther table. Tenchi stil driving his memeber into her faster. >Her breasts were bouncing up and down. They were moaning J-san: What Breasts? She doesn't have any! >ouded together. Blood was flowing from Sasami's pussy along >with a river of love juice. They couldn't stop themselves at WhiteRose: I don't think they'll want to eat on that table ever again... >all. Their bodies were in a mechanical motion that was >unstopable. Tenchi could feel Sasami's warm, soft love >tunnel around his stiff member. He lost track of all time, Shadow: Step right up! Just two tickets and you and your sweetie can ride in the Tunnel of Love... WhiteRose: You're a sick man... >this truely the best thing he has ever felt. Sasami's moans >grew louder and louder. Tenchi realized she was nearly >screaming. So he kissed her. Sasami opened her mouth wide, J-san: Heh...this will shut her up... >ready to accept Tenchi's tounge. With every thrust into her >young body virgin body, he would slip his tougne into her >mouth. She would quickly do the same. Sasami tightend her >grip on Tenchi's hair as they contiued to fuck on the low >table. WhiteRose: Doesn't Tenchi have a really short buzz cut hair style? Shadow: well, he's got a little pony tail... > Tenchi then slowed again. He broke their passionet kiss >and he realease his member from her tight cunt. He stood up, >and he grabed her waste and aided her in getting into a new Shadow: Yeah baby...Tenchi always likes to kick that Shiz-nit DOG-GIE STYLE! >position. She was now on her hands and knees. Tenchi then >tightly grabbed her waste and he thrust himself into her >once more. Sasami gasped as he drove into her farther than >before. He began to fuck the little girl from behind. Tenchi >gave her no time to prepare for his thrusts. He went in and >out of her with surprisng speed. Shadow: Shit! I was right?!? Oh damn...I meant it as a joke...Ugh.... WhiteRose: J-san, remind me to mallet him when we're released... >"Tenchi! Yes! ahhhh! -gasp- ummmm!" She yelled out with >passion. > Their skin slapped together loudly with Tenchi's every >drive. They were coved with sweet. They were gasping for air >with every stride. They felt their bodies growning hotter >and hotter. They fucked on and on, it seemed almost endless. >Tenchi and Sasami seemed to lose their minds as they J-san: Correction: They DID lose their minds, otherwise they would've never agreed to let you write a love scene for them! >fucked. Thet refused to hault this pleasure they were >feeling. Then Tenchi felt it again. He felt his cock, it >felt as if it was about to burst. He didnt know what was >happening, but both Sasami and Tenchi were reaching their >climax. Tenchi could feel something moving up through his >cock. It then hit him. He was about to cum. Shadow: I'd like to hit Tenchi right about now. WhiteRose: I wouldn't mind smacking Sasami around either... J-san: Small fries....I wanna KILL the author! Shadow: Congrats Tenchi, despite knowing various positions and techniques, you managed to never have learned that SEX = ORGASM until this very moment...what do we have for out lucky winner... WhiteRose: an all expense paid trip to HELL! Where you'll burn for defiling an 10 year old girl! >"Oh GOD -gasp- TENCHI! I'm goinna....i'm gonna....i'm!" >Sasami sceamed suddenly. WhiteRose: Tenchi...-gasp- I'm...I'm...I'm gonna...talk in pointless fragments. > Tenchi look at her, she looking back at him. Her young >face covered with sweat and teers. She suddnely closed her J-san: Augh! Sammy! There are TEERS all over your face! WhiteRose: Get them off! Get them off! >eyes and began to moan aloud. Tenchi could feel her cunt >tighting. Drawing him in. >"Oh TENCHI!!!!" She screams. > Then Tenchi quickly removed his cock from her. He stood >before her. With his hands he turned her over and looked >apon her young naked body, covered with sweet. He then >grasped his cock. He quickly knelt down over her. His cock >over her mound. Tenchi could feel it coming. He tightend his >face and continued to jack him self of over her. Then it >happend. He tried to hold it within him, but it was no use. >Hot white virgin cum spraied from his cock and all over Shadow: Hate to beat a dead horse, but technically, isn't his "virgin cum" as the author so lovingly put it, actually what he did this morning during his WET DREAM? WhiteRose: I believe we have the definition of "anti-climax" right here in this fic... >Sasami's young body. It shot out onto her face and her >breasts. All over her stomach. It was done. They had finaly >felt the pleasure they longed for, and it was over. > Tenchi looked down apon the young Sasami, and he kisssed >her. J-san: This will help get rid of those Teers! This stuff will kill em good! > Tenchi softly spoke into her ear. "I love you Sasami." WhiteRose: and I swear I'll call you tomorrow... >They laid down on the table together. Sasami was worn out. >She could barely keep her eyes open as she constintly gasped >for air. They fell alseep on the table together. Grasping >each other. > Tenchi was awoken by the sound of a grandfather clock in >the den. He opened his eyes to see Sasami sleeping soundly, >next to him. He listend to the clock's song. It rang twice, >then three times. Before Tenchi realized it, it range six >times. He then began to close his eyes. Suddenly he heard to >sound of the front door opening! J-san: Tenchi, we're home...you haven't been defiling a little girl have you? WhiteRose: Tenchi, we're home...so now you can fuck us, like the author plans to intend for the future... >To be Continued... >------------------------------------------------------------ Shadow: I believe we have just discovered the THREE SCARIEST WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!! J-san and WhiteRose: Stone him! Boil Him! End his tyranny now! > Next time: Part 2! "Enicent No More" The exciting, heart Shadow: Quick tip sport: If you plan to continue to write...you MAY wanna learn to SPELL THE TITLE CORRECTLY! BAKA! It's "INNOCENT!" >pounding, next episode of "No Need For Virgins" WhiteRose: The only reason my heart is pounding is cause you make me wish I was dead. > Whos Tenchi's next victum of love as his mind slowly >faids away! Could it be "Ayeka?" Shadow: Slowly fades? Tenchi has lost his mind, and you have too if you think we're gonna let you write a SEQUEL! Dr. J-chan: So my test subjects? What did you think? Shadow: Well, I liked it. It had all the ingredients of a good romance story...except...without the romance...or plot....or even the grammar....or the talented author to write it... J-san: I think that all copies of this story should be d/l'ed onto a disk and shot out an airlock into a star to be destroyed. WhiteRose: I agree...except...change the "copies of the fic" to "author of this tripe" and we're in business. Dr. J-chan: So, I take it that you didn't like it? Shadow: Writing filthy tripe is one thing....but doing it BADLY is another. The author plans a sequel. If he does this, it could mean an end to all things good and decent... WhiteRose: If the author is looking for advice about his writing...here's some...never touch a keyboard again. You'll be doing us all a great service... J-san: In fact, to prevent the urge to write, we advise that you take your computer and set it in the middle of the street. Wait 5 minutes...that should care of it... Dr. J-chan: So then My plan to use this to conquer the world will be successful? Shadow: Doubtful. If you show it around here, the people will probably like it...it has everything: All the heart pounding sex of a B-porno movie combined with the "baby-speak" of an 8-year old who acts like he's 20... Dr J-chan: Ah...I see... A pity. Now I have to go to my spare plan. WhiteRose: Spare Plan? Dr. J-chan: Yes. You see, while you were watching, I had myself cloned. He's identical to me in every way...except...he's 1/8 my size! Dr. J-chan: I shall call him "Chibi-me!" BwahahahhahahaHAHAHHHAHAHhahhahaha!!! J-san: Oh bloody hell... Shadow: Oh great, now we have to deal with Dr. J-chan...and Dr. J-chan-CHAN... Dr. J-chan: and the Experiment has only just begun....BwhahahhahHAHAHHAHAHhahhah!!! Trio: Kill us! Well, since this thing(I refuse to call this a story, cause that would indicate some THINKING went on behind it) forgot to include a disclaimer...here's the standard one for the benefit of everyone... Tenchi belongs to AIC/Pioneer This was OBVIOUSLY used without permission This fic is probably copyrighted by the guy who wrote it. All MST parts are copyrighted by me(BoneparteOzaki) 1999 Notes: In all seriousness, I cannot say how BAD this fic truly was. If you are the author and you're reading this: WAIT FIVE YEARS and at least 18 CREDITS of ENGLISH courses before ever Eh-eh-eh-eh-EVER wanna ATTEMPT to write fan-fiction A-GAIN... As always, feedback is welcome(and I'm sure to probably get it this time) at Makoto_chan@elhazard.com