Glyph gave a sigh. Ukyo shook her head, as she saw the mess on the 
counter. And in the middle of it was a very big potbelly on a very sick Pokemon. 
Brown smears on the pink face gave away the culprit of the sick stomach.
	Glyph picked up the Pokemon like a baby, "Told you not to eat that whole 
chocolate cake. . ." 
"Mew. . ."  he weakly said.
"Well it looks like they're will be one more going on break from the MST this 
time," Glyph smiled slightly. "So you're going just check up on the shop, and 
take a little trip."
"So who's replacing me and the cake thief?"
"Well, Bryan's lending Rei from the Drummond, but I think we need a Takahashi 
character to replace a Takahashi character. . ."
"Who?"
"Nevermind."
"Remind me the next time we see him, Bryan's gonna get an earful!" Ukyo 
grumbled, "So who?"
"He's on first."
"Don't start that joke. . .So who's gonna replace me?"
Glyph smiled, carrying Mew with her. "Wwwweeellllll, Cypher and REBB are 
prepping him. . ."
	"Him?" 
 
	The holographic Dr. Tofu, called up the Pokemon Center, "Wwwweeeelllll, 
I'm not totally up to speed on Pokemon anatomy and psychology, Nurse Joy." 

	Marie looked up from the panel on the JEDRI's capturing computer.(See "No 
Need For Sleepovers" to find her character.) She uneasily looked up, noticed 
Andrew looking back, blushed, and returned to her scanning.
	"Having trouble?" he asked. She tapped again at the panel.
	"I had a bogey, I think. . ."
	Andrew grinned, "Pathos had already downloaded it. We just need to get the 
new guy ready, and pick up Rei, which I see the Drummond right now."
	As he said it, the now familiar shape of the Brian Drummond came into 
view. It was relatively white compared to the cobalt blue-gray of the JEDRI. 
Marie smiled slightly, knowing the Drummond just as easily as the ship she was 
on,  as it was where she was "born", so it was her birthplace.
	"Hi, Drummond, Weber-san, this is the JEDRI, permission to dock with 
you..."

	Bryan and Glyph met and went to the Drummond's transporter room. "Hello, 
Bryan-love," she took up his hand.
	"Hi, Glyph-chan," the other captain smiled. She ran a hand through his 
hair.
But the quietness didn't last for long. . .
	"Where is he?" Ukyo hollered. "Where's Bryan?"
	Bryan looked to Glyph.
	And in typical Ranma-sque fashion, asked, "What did I do now?"
Glyph sighed, but in one that sounded like it was combined with a chuckle. "MST 
14, the Shampoo/Ukyo combo, Lemon combo..."
	He groaned.
	But then they both ducked into the transporter room, Glyph got behind the 
controls. Bryan looked around for a place to hide. Glyph suddenly pushed down on 
his head, whispering to get down. She tapped her wrist band just as the 
okonomiyaki chef charged into the room. 
	"Hey, Ucchan, what is your problem?" she blurted. 
	"You know what, Glyph. . .So where is he?" 
	Bryan let out a confused snort. She stepped backward, giving almost a 
kick. He though bit his lip as she had accidentally brought it down on his hand. 
"Nnnghhff," he smothered.
	"He said that the lemons of you and Shampoo are out there, not that he was 
going to write you into one!"
	Ukyo still looked flustered, "So? Did he have to point that out TO THE 
WHOLE MULTIVERSE?"
	Bryan made a sound like a faint whimper. Glyph rocked...
	"Well, if you see him, don't mention it. He probably didn't think as to 
how mad you would be over this. He's like Ran-chan sometimes, you know, speaks 
before he thinks. . . And you remember what you were going to do to Ranma when 
you were first got to Nerima."
	Bryan quickly tugged on her jeans leg, "You aren't helping," he hissed.
	Ukyo squinted, but said nothing. "Okay, okay. . .I get your point."
	"Why don't you go find Rei? I haven't quite figured how this thing works 
yet in getting someone home. I don't think you guys will be wanting me to snag 
Shampoo by mistake. . ."
	Finally, Ukyo smiled, "And definitely not Bryan, he would probably be 
double teamed by the both of us!"
	Glyph smiled, but said nothing. When Ukyo had left, Glyph moved, turning 
off her shield. "Your hand okay? Sorry bout that." 
	Bryan flex his fingers, "Yeah," he sighed, "Do you think she'll want to 
hit me yet?"
	"Wouldn't doubt it, but she usually trusts me, and knows that I do care 
for you. She wouldn't push her luck."

	Rei nodded, and disengaged from her conversation from Pathos. Ukyo tapped 
his shoulder, then put her hands out for a hug. Pathos did just that, letting 
out a little purr.
	By then, Bryan and Glyph met up with them. Bryan ducked behind her a 
little. Vegeta let out a snort. 
	"The guy can access any powers he wants on the ship, and he's afraid of 
one human woman?"
	BLAMMMMMMOOO!!
	Vegeta hit the wall so hard his head went through like a nail. Ukyo 
sighed, and put her battle spatula away.
	Bryan went over to the wall. "It isn't a biological ability, Vegeta. . ."
	Glyph shook her head, and smiled.

	"Come on, show needs to get on the road."

	Rei sat down in the theater, next to the changeling. It hadn't taken long 
for her to get the hang of the JEDRI. Cypher was talking to the stranger, and 
seemed be going over a list.
	"Red Green?"
	The stranger responded, "Canadian guy at the lodge..."
	"Red Drawf?"
	"Yeesh!"
	"Animal House?"  
	"Got it, I think."
	"Let's see, yadda, yadda, yadda. . ."
	"Huh?"
	Cypher chucked the list, "I think you got the point. . . He's ready as 
he'll ever be, Glyph."
	"Not quite," she said, pointing, "Sorry, but the sword's gotta go." The 
boy tilted his head. "The Tetsusaiga, please. . . Anything swishing by my head 
makes me nervous. . . "
	Inu-Yasha paused. "It's just a rusted stick, now. And it don't change for 
to kill humans. . ."
	Cypher's voice changed pitch, "Yeah, but what about the rest of us?" 
	"Shut up, Cypher," Glyph sighed. "I guess you can keep it."
	Pathos then leaned out, his ears tilted back. "YAAA-SHAA!" he yipped.
	"Cat," Inu-Yasha wrinkled his nose. They paused, each other defensive. 
	But then they shook hands, laughing. 

Disclaimer: All anime characters, heck, the basis for most characters and ships 
are properties of their owners and we are not making profit off of them. This is 
for fun and laughs. . . mainly our own. Oh, and if anyone is wanting to make a 
tiff over Ukyo slamming Vegeta into the wall, she's a woman that knows martial 
arts, do you want to tangle with her?

The crew of the JEDRI--MST File 5-Mortal What?
An MST of Mortal Cabbit By Clayton Overstreet

  	Glyph turned around, and noticed Marie in the booth with Pathos. As she 
started to ask, Marie instead interrupted her. 
"Just trying to learn all the aspects of the ship, Glyph-chan. . . bringing up 
the story, now. . ."
Glyph smiled, then called to Rei, "Hey, Wonder Girl, you ready for the real 
weirdoes?"


Pathos added
"Dialog on?"

Glyph Bellchime: Well, we're in. . .
REBB: I could not be reached for comment.
Cypher: Hey, I don't have to worry about a spatula in the face!
Washu: ...( placing a finger on her holo-computer) >THUD!< [ a Buddha statue 
thumps on him. Cypher gets out from under with a flowing motion, and cricks his 
neck.]

Cypher: Okay. . .Forgot about the Genius.

The temps
Rei Ayanami, the pilot of Unit 00: As Ruri Hoshino would say, " And I thought 
all the people on my ship was baka."
Inu-Yasha, a half dog-demon: I'm doing this for a piece of the Shikon Jewel. . .

REBB: (whispering) We don't have a piece of that.
Glyph: (whispering back) I know that and you know that. He don't know that. He 
don't need to know that. Capiche?

Projectionist: Pathos, cat-boy
Assistant: Marie, Andrew's current girl friend.

Glyph: I take it's started, everybody ready with the snacks?
Rest: Yeah, uh huh.

>I don't own these characters or profit from them. 

REBB: [as he stuffing bills into a duffle bag] Money? What money?
Rest, except for the temps: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
REBB: Duhhhhh, where do you think?
[Washu groans.]

>Mortal Cabbit

Glyph: Mortal...WHAT?

>By, Clayton Overstreet

Cypher: Wasn't he the one that did " Negotiations with a Fanfic Writer"?
Glyph:  [grumbling] I would like to know what got up his tail against Bryan. . . 

>Prologue

  >Tenchi sighed as he saw the royal ship appear in the sky over his house.

Glyph: You know, I get that same sense of dread every time I have to visit 
someone on my Dad's side. . .

 >Every 
>time the royal family stopped by something bad happened. 

REBB: Tenchi, all that happened to you was you got wet, and you won against the 
blowhard. Mihoshi didn't even wreck the house!
Inu-Yasha: That was lucky!

>Tenchi was afraid that 
one of these days Ryoko would do something that would end up getting her 
executed. Not that Aeka would mind. 

Cypher: Just because she threatens her with it every other day. . .

  >And that was the main problem with Aeka, Tenchi thought. She showed love, but 
only to people she felt deserved it due to lineage. 

Rei: If anyone is going for a Jurai/Redneck joke, stop with that thought right 
now!

>She hadn't even started to 
like Ryoko when the pirate had saved her from Kagato, almost getting herself 
killed in the process.

REBB: Apparently, Clayton hadn't seen past "Hello Baby". . .
Cypher: You shoulda seen the way both of them were sleeping together. . .
[Suddenly he gets blasted and shocked at the same time.]
Cypher: (charred) Okay, I gotta find out how that happens!

  >But while Aeka pretended to like everyone and looked down on most, Ryoko 
pretended to hate everyone and liked all of them, even the princess. Tenchi had 
been thinking of telling Ryoko how he felt about her this weekend, but with the

Inu-Yasha: Oh, just run your hand up her butt. . .
Washu: That's ABOUT. . .not UP her.
Glyph: [To REBB and Cypher] What the hell were showing him?

 
>royals here that would have to wait. Besides there was the other problem of 
age. 
>Not Ryoko's or his, but what his would be. Even with his Juraian heritage and 
the extra life given him by Tsunami, Tenchi would still age, albeit slowly, and 
if he wasn't killed, he would still die of old age eventually and he wasn't sure 
if it was right to do that to Ryoko.

Rei: But didn't he meet her as a mummy, or had called her that?
REBB: Uh hmm. . .but he only called her a mummy once.
Cypher: Hey, look at Cologne, she keeps being called "Old Ghoul".
REBB: That young kid? I'm four hundred years older than she is.
Glyph: REBB, you're 700!
REBB: Yeah, so?

  >He had considered asking Washu about it, but didn't want to take the chance 
that her solution would include putting his brain in a jar. 

Washu: (shouting)I WOULD NOT USE ANYTHING THAT PRIMATIVE!

>He started to put 
his gardening equipment away, but realized that he still had half the field to 
plow and this would give him an excuse to avoid Asuza, who really didn't seem to 
like him at all. 

Glyph: Yeee-ahhhh, I would say that.

>Smiling Tenchi got back to work.

  >Back at the house Sasami, Aeka, and Yosho came out to greet their parents. 
  "Mommy!" Aeka and Sasami yelled as they hugged Masaki. 

REBB and Cypher: ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

  >Masaki was crying, "Oh Sasami! Aeka. I missed you so much."
  Ryoko was sitting in the door with Mihoshi and Kiyone (Who had joined up with 
them several months before). 

Glyph: Okay, either we got a TV reference, or a very OOC Kiyone. . .
Inu-Yasha: How come?
Glyph: Because Kiyone last words in the OAV were along the lines of she was 
going to murder Mihoshi.

>Kiyone was looking at Aeka in surprise and said, 
"She... she called her mommy!" She burst out laughing. 

All but Inu-Yasha: HIT THE DIRT! [They all dive for cover except for the half 
demon. . .]
Inu-Yasha: Huh?

>She was so busy laughing 
that she didn't notice Mihoshi and Ryoko move away from her or see Masaki walk 
up to her and look at her angrily.
  "Are you mocking my daughter?" Masaki asked. Kiyone stopped laughing and 
looked at her in shock. Masaki grabbed each of Kiyone's cheeks. "Nobody mocks my 
children!"

[Suddenly, Inu-Yasha felt a pulling on his cheeks.] Inu-Yasha: YEOWPE! Wha ta 
'ell!
Cypher: Repeat what Kiyone says when it comes up next. Then it will quit!

  >Kiyone moaned in pain and saw Sasami standing behind her mother holding up a 
sign. She began reading it out loud. "I'm sorry pretty lady, I didn't mean to 
insult anyone."

[Inu-Yasha follows the sign, repeating it. Then he felt it release, and he moved 
his jaw up and down. Suddenly, he then gave a yip.]

  >Masaki smiled. "Oh that's so sweet. Come give me a hug!" She let go of 
Kiyone's face and hugged her so tightly that Kiyone was sure something was going 
to snap. 

Inu-Yasha: OW! [He tried to wrench his hands loose from his sides, to no avail. 
Then he dropped back into his seat as the queen let Kiyone go.]
Washu: All clear!
Inu-Yasha: What just happened?
Glyph: For some reason, if you don't duck behind the seats, you feel anything 
Misaki does.

  >Funaho shook her head at Masaki, and then looked at Yosho. "Do you know why 
we 
are here?"

Cypher: (as Funaho) 'Cuz I can't remember it worth spit!

  >Yosho shook his head, "No mother, I do not." 
 > Sasami giggled from next to his leg. "I do, Tsunami told me all about it. 
It's 
some kind of tournament right?"

REBB: Yeah, the intergalactic hopscotch tournament!
Rest: [face-fault]

  >Funaho nodded. "That is correct Sasami.

REBB: [joined others in face-fault]

 >Why don't we wait until Tenchi gets 
here before we tell them about it though."

Glyph: Yeah, he'll hate the costumes the guys will have to wear.

  >Sasami smiled and nodded; ignoring the odd looks she was getting from the 
others.

[As well as the MSTers]

 >Asuza stepped forward and looked around him. "Things have not changed 
much... who are you?" He looked at Noboyuki.

Cypher: I'm Nobiyuki Masaki, who the hell are you?

  >"I'm Noboyuki, Tenchi's father. I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you last 
time 
your highness, I was at work."
  >Asuza looked him over, "So you are the man who married my lost grandchild.

[Inu-Yasha starts to open his mouth to say something]
Washu: Ryoga is not part of the family.
Glyph: Could we cut those down, please? We're starting to get complaints.
REBB: From who?
Glyph: Nevermind.

 >I 
see." Noboyuki looked nervous, afraid that he had offended the emperor. 

REBB: (as Nobiyuki) [puts his nose to his armpit] Sniff, sniff. 
Glyph: You know, I wondered if he smelled, ah, I mean, spelled his name right. 
[she notices the others trying to keep from laughing.] So I had a slip of the 
tongue... Augh!
Washu: You walked into that one.

>Then 
Ryo-oki cam walking up 

Rei: Don't those things usually roll? Or are they watching from her point of 
view?

>in her toddler form and bowed to Asuza. The cabbit-girl 
was so cute Asuza couldn't help but smile. 
  >Masaki then proceeded to hug everyone

All: HIT THE DIRT! [This time Inu-Yasha listens.]

>, including Ryoko who had tried to sneak 
away before it was her turn. Mihoshi and Sasami seemed to be the only two left 
standing afterwards. 

Rei: All clear.

>Noboyuki then lead everyone indoors to watch television and 
wait for Tenchi to get home. 

Glyph: (As Nobiyuki, nervous) Tenchi should have been home... [looking at her 
watch] couple of hours ago. Uhm, he should be here soon.

  >Tenchi came home at about sunset, putting his tools away and cleaning up in 
the carrot shed's sink. Then he headed towards the house. He had been hoping 
that the royals had only wanted to speak with Aeka, Sasami, and Yosho, and then 
would leave. The fact that they were still here told him that whatever it was, 
he was a part of it. 

All: Damn!

  >He forced himself to smile as he walked through the door. "I'm home!" He 
called out. Almost immediately he felt invisible arms wrap around him, causing 
him to smile for real. "Ryoko..."

Cypher: Okay, who had Ryoko? [Washu, REBB, Cypher, Inu-Yasha are in a circle, 
looking over some tickets.]
Washu: I do.
[The rest start to tear up tickets, muttering]
Glyph: What were you guys doing?
Cypher: Taking bets, on who would reach Tenchi first.
Glyph: Ouch.

  >Ryoko appeared and whispered in his ear, "Welcome home my Tenchi." He blushed 
as usual, but Ryoko noticed he was still smiling. She was just about to kiss him 
when...
  "Miss Ryoko, get your filthy hands off of lord Tenchi this instant!" Aeka 
yelled. 
  Ryoko almost yelled back at her, but remembered Tenchi's rules about fighting 
when they had company.

Washu: [has list] Let's see. No destroying the house. Clean up any spilled 
blood. Uh. . .
Glyph: ENOUGH WASHU!

 >Knowing that Tenchi considered her the only one out of 
her and Aeka who would listen to the rule had made it stick with her. Squeezing 
Tenchi one last time she teleported into the living room with the others. 
  Aeka grabbed Tenchi's arm, "Are you alright? She didn't hurt you?"

Cypher: (as Tenchi) No, Ayeka, and could you now pop my shoulder back in place? 

 >Before he 
could answer she dragged him into the living room. 
  Tenchi retrieved his arm and bowed to Asuza and his wives. "Welcome back."
  Funaho and Masaki grinned, but Asuza eyed him as coldly as always. 

REBB: EYE SCREAM!
[the others looked at him puzzled]
Glyph: Okay, you gotta explain the Xanth references a little better, REBB.

>Tenchi 
smiled nervously and looked around at the others. 

Inu-Yasha: (as Tenchi) Uh girls, a little help here?

>They seemed to be adapting to 
the royalty easily, except for Kiyone who wasn't used to them yet. When he 
looked at Ryoko she blew him a kiss. Tenchi blushed and sat down quickly.

Rei: Uh, Tenchi, you needed to be about two inches back before you sat down.

  >Asuza nodded to Funaho who stood up and looked around her. "Every thousand 
years on every world there is a tournament held by the gods where in mortals 
fight for their patron deity. The winner of this tournament keeps control of the 
world where the fight is held for another millennium. If the world's chosen 
champions loose the majority of the matches then it is taken over by the other 
god."

Washu: Where have we heard this before?

  >Funaho stopped and looked around at them. "If this happens Jurai and all the 
worlds under it's control will be under the control of someone other than 
Tsunami. They may decide to destroy the universe."

Cypher: So what else is new?

  >Tenchi and the others looked at her in shock. Washu stood up and looked at 
Funaho. "Who is this other god?"
  Funaho bit her lip. "We aren't sure, but we do know that they are the new 
ruler of Outworld. Apparently Shao Khan was killed and his brother Rayden was 
elevated to elder godhood. Another god was chosen to be the ruler of Outworld 
while the position of Earth's thunder god remains open."
  Washu sat down and nodded, "I see."
  Sasami looked around at all of them. "Tsunami told me she would like you to 
fight in the tournament for her. But only if you want too, because it's very 
dangerous."

REBB: Duh, that why they call it "Mortal", as in "can die".
Glyph: You know, I have some friends that could work for you. They all live in a 
district called "Nerima".
Rei: I thought we weren't doing the Ranma 1/2 jokes here. 

  >Ryoko snorted, "Why would we agree to do something like that?"

Washu: If Misaki brings out that bill again, I'm gonna scream.
Cypher: No, if Misaki brings out that bill again, RYOKO is gonna scream.

  >Washu looked at her. "Well the winners get immortality or if they already 
have 
it, some equally good prize." 

Cypher: (as game show announcer) Like this brand new toaster!
  
>Tenchi looked up, his worries about the danger of the fight leaving him. "What 
do you mean immortality?"

Glyph: Somebody forgot the comma. . .
Inu-Yasha: Like someone forgot the train of thought. Immortality means "to live 
forever."

  >Asuza grinned. "Didn't you ever wonder why Aeka and Sasami had to be put into 
cryogenic suspension when we didn't? Masaki, Funaho, and I all fought in the 
last tournament. 

REBB: (as Misaki) We kicked butt!

>Even though Juraians live longer than humans we usually age at 
least a little bit in a thousand years."
  Tenchi bit his lip thinking. This could be the perfect chance to live as long 
as Ryoko. He could finally ask her to marry him.

Washu: I'm gonna be a mother-in-law!
Rest: SHUT UP, WASHU!

 >"I'll do it."

Inu-Yasha: Who would want to?
Glyph: [vein on forehead showing] Inu-Yasha. . .
Inu-Yasha: What?
Glyph: SIT!
[And in typical fashion, the necklace body-slams the half demon to the floor. He 
pushes up.]
Inu-Yasha: That was low.
Glyph: And your comment wasn't?


  >Aeka smiled, "Me too. That way when Tenchi and I are married we can be 
together forever."

REBB: And Tenchi commits seppuku at the thought. . .
Glyph: REBB!!!!

  >Ryoko growled, "Well then I'm in too. And incase you forgot princess, Tenchi 
is going to marry me! Right Tenchi?"
  Tenchi stood there like a deer caught in the headlights. 

All: Honk! Honk!
[There is the sound of a real semi crashing, and everyone covers their ears 
quickly.]
Glyph: I know this isn't Shara-she isn't into the gross humor!

>Funaho stepped in. 

Rei: in a pile of. . .
Glyph: CYPHER!
Cypher: It wasn't me this time. It didn't even sound like me!
[Slowly, everyone turns to Rei]
Glyph: That was way OOC for you. What has Bryan been showing you?
Rei: I've endured many a Peter Suzuki fic.
Glyph: Your point? [beat] . . . Oh.

>"We'll discuss this later, now we need to know if anyone else will be in this. 
I 
have also agreed to participate."

[Suddenly, the sound of "Taps" is heard.]
Glyph: [turning] Cy-pher! REBB! Inu-Yasha! You guys know better than that!
Guys: No we don't. That's why we do it!

  >Yosho nodded, "I will as well."
  Mihoshi stood up, "As a Galaxy police officer it is my job to protect the 
galaxy, so I'll fight too."
  "Same here," Kiyone said.
  Washu stood up. "I'm in too."

Inu-Yasha: S&M?
Washu: No, that's Ayeka's job!
Glyph: WASHU, YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

  >Ryo-oki hopped into Ryoko's lap and looked up at them. "Meow!"
  Ryoko smiled, "Ryo-oki says she wants to fight too."
  Everyone looked at her surprised. Asuza asked, "Are you sure that's a good 
idea?"

REBB: (as Azusa) Been nice knowing you, kid.

  >Ryoko looked up at him. "She can fight, trust me."
  Sasami looked at her sadly. "I hope she doesn't get hurt."
  Washu frowned. "That's only nine. The tournament has ten matches. Who's the 
last?"
  Masaki rolled her eyes. "Serio."

Rei and Glyph: [looking at each other] You're kidding, right?
REBB: Well, somebody had to die. . .

  >They all looked more surprised than when Ryo-oki had volunteered.

Cypher: (as Ryoko) That loser?
Washu: (as Kiyone) I mean, he lost to Mihoshi, of all people!

  >Asuza cleared his throat. "Despite his fight with Tenchi last time Serio is a 
master of the Jurai energy and a fantastic swordsman."

Inu-Yasha: And a complete moron, a total git, an egotist. . .

  >They all looked unconvinced. Tenchi looked at Funaho again, "If this is a 
tournament there must be rules."
  Funaho nodded. "Yes, there are. The fights are to the death, unless you either 
yield or your opponent spares your life. The gods are not allowed to participate 
unless another god wishes to fight them. If someone is challenged they must 
either accept or yield. But if you do not give an answer then nothing happens. 
And finally, you are only allowed weapons that you can carry."

[REBB grins evilly]
Glyph: REBB! Stay out of the story!
REBB: Whaaaaat?

  >Kiyone chewed that over. "Does that mean we're allowed to use our guns?"

[Some goofy grins start]
Rei: Is it bad when the MSTers are more dirty minded than the fic?
Glyph: (sighing, weakly) yes.

  >Funaho nodded, "Yes, but I have to warn you now that it may do no good."
  Noboyuki looked at Tenchi. "It sounds to me like this is going to be very 
dangerous. You could be killed."

Cypher: (as Tenchi) And going against Kagato and Dr. Clay wasn't?
REBB: And definitely living with Ayeka and Ryoko >ZAP!<
Washu: . . .

 >Tenchi nodded. "I know dad." He stopped and glanced at Ryoko who was telling 
Aeka that she wished she could fight her instead. "But I think it will be worth 
it."

Washu: Two thousand yen on if they DO fight each other in this fic!
Glyph: Washu, you're the genius of the universe, why would you make such a dumb 
bet?
Washu: Because it looks too obvious.

  >Noboyuki put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Just come back to me."
  Tenchi smiled. "I promise dad."

All: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

  >As they entered the Jurai system Tenchi stood looking out at the stars. It 
had 
been three days since they had left Earth. And the farthest Tenchi had even been 
had been away from Earth was orbit.

REBB: Uh, Doc Clay had to be located, so he had be a lot farther out than the 
human solar system, therefore if Tenchi was on his ship, he would have been a 
lot farther than orbit.
Inu-Yasha: That's a mouthful.
REBB: No kidding.

 >Knowing the universe was a big place and 
seeing how big it was were two entirely different things. 
  From behind him he heard someone step into the room. 

Glyph: And this is how most murder mysteries start...
Washu: And how many bodies would be? Eight?
Cypher: Bring me a BIIIIGGG piece of chalk.
Glyph: Guys, that was morbid, especially for you, Washu.

>They walked up behind 
him. "Kind of overwhelming huh?" Ryoko asked. 
  Tenchi nodded, "Yeah, but how did you know what I was thinking?"
  Ryoko smiled and slid her arms around his waist. "I know more about you than 
you think Tenchi."

Rei: (as Ryoko)Like you quit wetting the bed two days ago...
Rest: [slowly looking at her surprised, then scooting their chairs away from 
her.]

  >He blushed and said, "I believe it."

REBB: We- we did not need to know that.
Glyph: Two words-BAD TIMING!

  >They both stared out at space for a while. "Tenchi?"

Glyph: (as Ryoko, zoned) Ya know, Tenchi, that was some good shit. . .[looks at 
the others as they stare at her puzzled] What? Can't I make a crude comment once 
in a while?

  >"Yes Ryoko?" He said.
  Ryoko bit her lip. "If we don't make it through this I just want you to 
know... I really do love you. I always have. And the time I've spent with you 
and the others has meant more to me than anything else in my life."

Glyph:[Noticing the passive looks of the guys.] Hmm... no comments, guys? Don't 
tell me it doesn't remind you of another pair? [She grins, but the other guys 
just groan.] 
REBB: No, this one isn't as sickening as you and Bryan.
Glyph: [Vein showing on forehead] I gotta find some way to hurt you.

  >Tenchi reached down and rubbed her hand. "I know Ryoko. I feel the same way." 
He felt a tear drop onto his neck.
  "Why did you agree to do this Tenchi? I saw the look on your face when they 
told us about this and I know you weren't exactly concerned about Jurai or even 
Earth... not really."
  Tenchi saw Ryoko's reflection in the glass (or whatever it was)

Washu: (as Sulu) We got something on the port side, Captain.

 >ahead of him. 
He saw the tears on her cheeks as she looked at his reflection too.
  "Because I..." He stopped, and then turned to look back at her. "Because I 
don't want you to ever be lonely or sad Ryoko. And you would be if I were to one 
day grow old and die."
  Ryoko frowned. "So you purposely put your life on the line, just to see if you 
can live as long as I do? That has to be the stupidest, most idiotic..." 

Cypher: Hey, it's just something any normal anime hero would do.

>Tears 
fell from her eyes again. "...Sweetest thing anyone has ever done." 

Glyph: Oh, I don't know. . .Bryan. . .
REBB: Glyph, don't go there, you're making us sick already.
Cypher: Besides that, you're drooling.
Glyph: Shut up, dorks.

>She fell 
across him, holding him tightly to her. 

Inu-Yasha: (as Tenchi) Ryoko, NEED AIR!

>"But if you or I die..."
  "That won't happen Ryoko. We'll get through this." Tenchi slowly put his arms 
around her back, the view outside momentarily forgotten.

  >Two days later Tenchi and the others were informed that the tournament would 
begin in exactly two hours. Sasami had agreed to let Tsunami use their body for 
the duration of the tournament, so that she could guide them to where they 
needed to go.

Rei: (as Tsunami) The men's restroom is over there, and the ladies' is to the 
left.
REST: . . .

  >Following behind the goddess most of them were looking around in amazement at 
the planet around them. Over the last few days they had seen a lot, and Tenchi 
had to agree that this was indeed as beautiful a place as Aeka always said it 
was. Even Aeka, Sasami, and Yosho seemed impressed. It had been over seven 
hundred years since they had last been on the planet after all, and the last 
they had seen of it Ryoko had burned most of the cities to the ground.
  When they had arrived on the planet there had been a press conference at which 
Ryoko formally apologized for what Kagato had made her do. Since the royals had 
already explained what had happened, nobody really seemed to hold a grudge 
against Ryoko. 

Washu: Well, until she fingered the whole crowd.

>Well except for Aeka who always held a grudge against her. 
  Serio had joined them on the way towards the tournament gathering and had 
spent the last ten minutes telling them how great he was. 

All: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZsnk.

>Mihoshi whispered in 
Kiyone's ear, "Is it just me, or does he look like the grown up version of 
ChibiUsa on Sailor Moon?"

All: It's not just you.

  >Kiyone snorted getting a look from Serio. "You commoners and your disgusting 
noises."

REBB: Hey, Serio >BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!<
[Cypher accomplishes an armpit fart, as the others, except Rei, try to hold down 
giggles.]
Glyph: [Wipes the tears from her eyes] Yes, we are the epitome of rude noises.

  >The others rolled their eyes and walked in silence, letting Serio ramble on. 

Inu-Yasha: Does Kuno and Serio and know each other?
Cypher: Better question, are they related?

>Tenchi whispered to Funaho, "We don't have to win every match do we?"
  Funaho shook her head, "No, just the majority."
  Suddenly Tsunami stopped at a vacant lot. The others stopped behind her and 
waited for something to happen. It didn't take long. 

REBB: (as Stepanik, from Down Periscope) >Sniff, sniff< Aw man. . .
Rei: Yes, what would you tell a goddess who just cut the cheese?

  >Clouds filled the sky and the sound of thunder could be heard. 

Cypher: Aw man, Kuno is here!

>A bolt of 
purple lightning hit the lot in the dead center and the air began to ripple.

All: Whoa, trippy.
 
>When it all cleared there was a group of people standing there, with a strange 
woman sitting on a thrown

Glyph: (shouting to the ceiling) Clayton, Spell-check is great-if you pay 
attention to which word you're using!

 >in the middle of them.
  Tsunami and Washu gasped and at the same time said, "Tokimi."

Washu: Yo, sis, how have you been?

  >Tokimi stood up and looked at them. "Welcome to Mortal Kombat."

>Serio vs. Reptile

REBB: This is gonna be quick.

  >Tokimi looked over the group on at a time. All of them, even Washu, felt an 
almost uncontrollable urge to bow to the woman before them and offer up their 
souls to her with a smile. 

REBB: [Bows to the woman, then flips her the bird]
Glyph: (groaning) Don't you have any respect for any authority?
REBB: No, not most of them.

>Tenchi realized that this was what it was like to 
meet a full goddess. 

Cypher: Well, hell, he's met her sisters already.
Washu: So how does it feel to be in the presence of a goddess?
[beat]
Rest: (shrugging) Eugh!
Rei: I've seen better.
Washu: (grumble)

>With a supreme effort everyone managed to remain standing, 
and only by looking at Tsunami.
  "I assume you have been informed of the rules?" Tokimi asked. They all nodded. 
"Then there is no need for formalities. If you lose this galaxy is mine. My 
people will be challenging you and will choose where you fight. The rest of you 
will be able to watch, but not interfere once it has begun. If anyone attempts 
to cheat you will be kicked out and someone else will have to fight in your 
place. Now unless there are any questions, let us begin."

Inu-Yasha: [raising his hand] Uh, yeah. . .
[Tokimi whirls around.]
Inu-Yasha: [lowering hand quickly] Uh, nevermind.

  >A man in a green and black ninja outfit stepped forward and walked towards 
them. Before he could reach them Serio stepped confidently forward. The ninja 
looked at him, his expression unreadable behind his mask. "I am Reptile. I 
challenge you to Mortal Kombat. Do you accept?"
  Serio smiled and nodded. "I accept."

All: (as the rest of the characters) Been nice knowing you.

  >They both vanished and a glow appeared above Tokimi's throne. As it came into 
focus everyone could see Serio and Retile stood facing each other on 
scaffolding, over a vat of green liquid. Tokimi's voice filled the area. 
"Begin!"

Glyph: Okay, I think now we should be hearing the "Red Dwarf" theme right now.

  >Serio drew a sword that looked similar to the master key and faced his 
opponent. Reptile took a stance facing him and they began slowly and carefully 
moving towards each other. Suddenly Serio rushed forward swinging his sword with 
precision. Tenchi and the others had to admit, he was pretty good. But Yosho and 
Tenchi began to see flaws in his technique as the two fought. Reptile was doing 
wonderfully, dodging Serio easily. 
  Then the pink haired wuss began to get the upper hand. Reptile was backed to 
the edge of the scaffolding. Serio stopped and looked at him. "Do you 
surrender?"

Cypher: Dude, he's holding your liver in his left hand, are you sure that is 
your concern?

  >Reptile looked at him calmly... and vanished. Serio looked around himself in 
every direction. Next to him Tenchi heard Kiyone talk to Mihoshi, "I think I can 
still see Reptile's shadow. See right there?"
  Tenchi and the others looked where she was pointing and saw something move. 
Serio suddenly jerked back and grabbed his jaw. Then again and again. Serio 
jumped back and swung his sword. Reptile appeared again, dodging the sword. 
Serio laughed and began advancing again.
  Reptile grabbed the side of his mask and pulled it off, revealing a lizard -
like face. 

Rei: Hey, I saw your uncle as handbag yesterday.

>Serio was so surprised that he took a step back. In fact several of 
the people around him gasped too. Then Reptile opened his mouth and spit in 
Serio's face. 

Washu: Ewwwwww!

  >Serio dropped his sword and screamed. The acid Reptile had spit on him ate 
away at half his face, letting skin and blood drip onto the steel grating at his 
feet.

Glyph: I agree with Washu, Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
REBB: That's gotta hurt.

 >Reptile vanished again. Everyone watched as Serio was lifted into the air 
by his invisible adversary (sorry if it sounds like I'm over using the 
thesaurus) 

Rei: Better than using the same word over and over and over...

>and was literally ripped to pieces, which fell into the vat below 
him.

Glyph: And Reptile has taken cooking lessons from Akane. . .
REBB: What, I rather liked it. . . 
Rest: [shudder]

  >The image faded and Reptile appeared with the others by Tokimi. The goddess 
stood up from her thrown and looked them over, no longer smiling. "Flawless 
victory."

>Mihoshi vs. Subzero

All:. . . .
Washu: This could be disturbing.

  >Tenchi and the others were unnerved. That had been one of the single most 
horrible things they had ever seen. 

Washu: Except for Ryoko's last "cooking" experiment.

>Aeka was visibly shaking. Mihoshi was 
whining to Kiyone about not wanting to fight the monsters while Kiyone tried to 
calm her down.

Inu-Yasha: (as Kiyone) Mihoshi, let go of my leg!
Cypher: Like you're one to talk.
Inu-Yasha: What's that supposed to mean?

> Tenchi was watching the other side to see would come forward 
next. 

Glyph: Where's the who?
Who: Somebody call?
Glyph: Uhhhhh. . .L,R,G time. . . guys.
Inu-Yasha: What does that mean?
Glyph: Little Running Gag, old joke.

>It didn't take long.
  A man in a blue ninja suit, very similar to Reptile's began walking towards 
them. Everyone watched as he stopped in front of them and looked them over,

Cypher: [Whistles]
REBB: You know, the bad part is, he could be whistling at Tenchi.
Rest: [pop-eyed]
 
>walking slowly down the line. Finally he looked into Mihoshi's eyes. "I am 
Subzero and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat."
  Taking a slow breath Mihoshi nodded. "I accept." As she and Subzero began to 
vanish Mihoshi took one last look at Kiyone. "Kiyone, if I don't come back I 
want you to know that..." Once again the image appeared above Tokimi. "I love 
you." Mihoshi finished.
  Kiyone bit her lip, watching Mihoshi and whispered, "I love you too Mihoshi."

Inu-Yasha: (as Kiyone) But not in that that way. . .

  >In the image Mihoshi looked at Subzero nervously. "Now how does this work?"

Glyph: You just stand there, looking cute. . .
REBB: And when something moves, you shoot.
Cypher: >Bang< Augh!
Marie: Okay, that was weird!
Cypher: Wasn't finished yet. . .Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.
Marie: (groans)

  >Subzero laughed. "Let me show you." He held out his hand and a beam of ice 
shot towards Mihoshi. Letting out a squeal she ducked and it hit the wall behind 
her. The stone froze, and then cracked into tiny pieces. 

REBB: (as Subzero as Steve Urkel) Did I do that?

  >Mihoshi looked up at him. "Please don't do that. I catch cold very easily."
  The people around Tokimi laughed, while Tenchi and the others watched her. 
Mihoshi pulled out her gun and pointed it at Subzero,

Rei: (as Mihoshi as Dirty Harry) Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?

 >firing it in time to 
shatter the ninja's next ice beam.
  Subzero aimed his other hand at the floor, freezing a path between his and 
Mihoshi's feet. Mihoshi looked down, then slipped falling onto her butt. "Ouch!"
  Subzero slid across the ice towards her. Reaching down he picked her up by her 
uniform and pulled her to his face. "Now you die." In his right hand a very 
sharp ice cycle 

Cypher: What the heck is an "ice cycle"?
Glyph: One really cold ride!
All: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo. . .

>formed. He raised it up for the killing blow. 
  Kiyone watched in horror, letting out a small sob. "Mihoshi... no." Yosho put 
a hand on her shoulder.

Inu-Yasha: There, there, it was bound to happen. . .
Washu: Wait a minute, this is Mihoshi, she'll get out of it.
 
  >In the image Mihoshi suddenly sneezed and two small globs of spit hit Subzero 
in the eyes. He immediately dropped the ice and Mihoshi, backing away from her. 
"Ah! My eyes!"
  Mihoshi looked up. "I'm sorry, I told you I catch cold easily. Are you 
alright?"

Glyph: He's starting to bleed from the eyes, I DON'T THINK THAT COUNTS AS 
ALRIGHT!

  >Subzero moved his hands away from his eyes. Mihoshi gasped as she saw that 
they were completely frozen over, just like the wall had been. "Oh I'm sorry."
  Subzero smiled and shook his head in amazement, just before his eyes shattered 
sending shards into his brain. Slowly he sank to the ground, blood dripping from 
his eyes. The image vanished and Mihoshi appeared with the rest of her friends. 
  Tokimi looked at her. "You win."

REBB: (as Tokimi) I don't know how the hell you did, but you won.

  >Kiyone threw her arms around Mihoshi and held her tight. Mihoshi hugged her 
back. "I was so scared Kiyone."
  "Me too Mihoshi..." Kiyone said. 

Inu-Yasha: (as Kiyone) Mihoshi, NEED AIR! NEED AIR!

>Kiyone vs. Kano

REBB: [fires his gun at the ceiling]
Washu: REBB, what did I tell you about firing that in here? That's the third 
time I had to replace that ceiling!

 >As Kiyone and the others congratulated Mihoshi on her defeat of Subzero, 
another person detached himself from the other group and walked up to the 
others. His right arm and half his face seemed to be made out of a silvery 
metal. His right eye glowed red as he looked over Kiyone. His eyes stopped on 
her badge and he grinned. 
  "A cop, I like killing cops. Maybe I'll have a little fun with you before I 
kill you. Bet you'd like that huh?"

REBB: Yeah.

  >Kiyone glared at him, waiting for him to issue the challenge. He laughed and 
smiled at her. "Fine, then here it goes baby. My name is Kano and I challenge 
you to Mortal Kombat."
  Kiyone looked at Mihoshi who smiled back at her. "I'm sure you can do it."
  Kiyone turned back to Kano. "I accept." 
  Kiyone found herself standing on a sidewalk. The sky was dark and the area 
around her was quiet. She looked around for Kano, but couldn't see him anywhere. 
  "Where are you?" She yelled out.

Washu: And off in the distance, she hears. . .
Rest: WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW????!!!

  >Suddenly something heavy hit her from behind, sending her flying forward. 
From 
behind her she heard Kano say, "Right here cop." 
  Kiyone looked and saw him holding a trashcan over his head. It had a dent in 
the side about the size of her head. "Not one for fair fights are you?" She 
asked.
  Kano laughed and threw it at her. "Nope, never seemed like a good idea to me."
  Kiyone rolled away before the can could hit her and was quickly on her feet. 
Kano charged her, swinging his metal arm straight towards her face. Kiyone 
ducked and grabbed his arm, pulling at it so that his momentum took him into the 
wall. His arm slid through the brick easily, but his face hit the wall with a 
metallic clang. 

REBB: Sounds like Ryoga's. . .
[beat, with the others looking strangely at him]
REBB: Empty
[Glyph reached out and smacked the back of his head.]

  >Pulling out of the wall Kano turned back to Kiyone who had her gun pointed at 
him. "What do you think you're going to do with that thing sugar?"

Cypher: (as Kiyone) Shove it up your @$$, that's what.

  >Kiyone looked at him coldly and pulled the trigger. A yellow beam shot out 
and 
hit Kano in the metal part of his face, then bounced into the side of the 
building, blowing a hole in it. 

Inu-Yasha: (as Vash the Stampede) Ahh, Sca-ree!

>Kano cursed and held up his arm to block the 
shot that followed. Even so, one hit him in the other arm, opening a three-inch 
hole. Bleeding he ran into the alley with Kiyone on his heals. 
  When she turned the corner Kiyone got a metal fist in her face. Dropping her 
gun she jumped back, holding her forehead. She couldn't see anything; there was 
blood dripping into her eyes. Kano laughed and stepped out of the alley after 
her. "Little pig lost her gun huh?

REBB: Shishi hokodan!
Washu: Wrong pig!

 >Well lucky for you I've found it."
  Kiyone angled her head towards the sound if his voice and smiled. "You 
wouldn't dare."
  Kano laughed.

Kano: [to the MSTers] She don't know me vewy well, do she?

 >"Oh really?" He pointed the gun at her, and then pulled the 
trigger. A huge explosion engulfed his body, shattering his eye before the fire 
consumed the human parts of him. Kiyone wiped the blood from her eyes in time to 
see Kano's arm and the metal part of his face land at her feet. Smiling she 
crushed it and watched as the red light of his eye slowly dimmed. 
  Kiyone turned and found herself with her friends again. Mihoshi hugged her 
first, followed by the others. "You were terrific Kiyone." Mihoshi said.
  Washu nodded. "Pretty smart using the biosensors in your gun like that."
  Tokimi looked at Kiyone from her thrown. "You win."

Washu: Swish, nothing but net, sis!

>Ryo-oki vs. Motaro 

Cypher: Bets anyone? [He ignores Glyph's stare]
Inu-Yasha: What's she gonna do? Cute him to death?
Washu: Ryo-oki.
REBB: Ryo-oki, definitely.
Inu-Yasha: You guys know something I don't?
Rei: Ryo-oki. 

  >Tenchi and the others stared as a huge monster headed towards them. It had 
huge ram-like horns in it's head and a thick tail. Aside from that it looked a 
lot like a centaur. It came over and looked them all over, then snorted. "None 
of them look to be worth my time."
  Aeka was about to say something when Ryo-oki hopped forward. "Meow, meow 
myah!"

All: Translation please.

  >The creature looked down at the little cabbit confused. Ryoko smiled. "She 
said she is Ryo-oki and she challenges you to Mortal Kombat."
  The monster laughed. "Fine, if she wishes to die. I Motaro, accept."
  Tokimi smiled, "As the challenger Ryo-oki may choose where to fight." 
  Ryo-oki thought about it, and then meowed at Tokimi. The goddess nodded and 
both she and Motaro vanished. Tenchi turned to look at Ryoko, "Think she can do 
it?"
  Ryoko smiled confidently. "I doubt farm boy there will last two minutes."

REBB: Sounds about right...
Inu-Yasha: . . . . . . .

  >Ryo-oki appeared facing off against Motaro. They were on an asteroid floating 
in space. Motaro looked down at her and stomped his hoof, shaking the asteroid 
and causing Ryo-oki to fall over. "This is just pathetic."

Cypher: Well, she didn't want to blow up any place important.
Inu-Yasha: ?!?!?!?!?????!!

  >Ryo-oki righted herself and hissed at him angrily. She suddenly jumped at 
Motaro. Motaro laughed and flicked his tail, planning to hit her. Ryo-oki 
grabbed onto it and bit down hard, taking out a chunk of muscle. 
  Motaro roared in pain and began beating his tail against the ground, slamming 
Ryo-oki into the rock. The cabbit managed to hang on until he flicked his tail 
upwards, sending her flying into the air. Watching her tiny body disappear into 
the sky Motaro laughed. 

Washu: He's toast.

  >In the sky Ryo-oki let out a long yowl and transformed into a huge spaceship. 
Motaro's laugh caught in his throat. Red energy began to form around the tips of 
Ryo-oki's spikes. Then it shot out directly into the asteroid shattering it and 
sending Motaro flying into space. As the monster left the atmosphere of the 
asteroid he began clawing at his own throat, unable to breath. A few minutes 
later his legs stopped twitching and he was totally still.
  Ryo-oki appeared on top of Ryoko's head, meowing happily. 
  Tokimi nodded. "You win."

Washu, REBB, Cypher, Rei: (to Inu-Yasha) You lose.
Inu-Yasha: -_-'

>Yosho vs. Baraka

  >The next challenger headed towards Tenchi's group. By now they were all 
feeling very confident. This man looked as odd as the others had though. He had 
huge metal teeth and long blades attached to his arms. He walked straight 
towards Yosho and looked into the 'old' man's eyes. 

REBB: (as Yosho) Damn, I can see my face in yo' grin.

  >"I am Baraka, and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat."

Washu: (as Yosho) Just quit smiling, you're freaking me out.
Glyph: And that's coming from you, Washu?

  >Yosho turned to Tenchi and handed him the Master key. "Tenchi, give Ryoko all 
of her gems back now."
  Funaho looked at Yosho worriedly and said, "But that means they won't be 
keeping you alive any more."
  Yosho nodded. "I know, but if I die here it won't matter any more and if I win 
I won't need them."
  Tenchi took the sword and closed his eyes, concentrating. Suddenly a gem 
appeared on Ryoko's neck and right wrist. She closed her eyes as her body began 
glowing blue. 

Inu-Yasha: Ah, she's gone new-cle-ar!
REBB: That's a green glow, Inu-Yasha.

  >Yosho's body changed, becoming young again. Aeka looked at him in total 
shock, 
"Yosho you're..."

Cypher: . . .HUGE!
>BLAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOO!< [All the girls suddenly pound him at the same 
time.]

  >Without letting her finish Yosho grabbed the sword and turned back to Baraka. 
"I accept your challenge."
  Ryoko was rubbing the gem in her neck as Yosho vanished. As one the group 
turned to look at the image above Tokimi again.
  Yosho and Baraka were already fighting. They seemed to be in the middle of a 
desert. Yosho swung the sword at Baraka, who actually blocked it with his own 
blades. But despite that Yosho was obviously in control of the situation. He was 
backing Baraka up step by step, cutting his arms and face in several places. 
  From beside him Tenchi heard Funaho whisper, "Hurry Yosho, you don't have much 
time." 

Glyph: Pizza's almost ready!

  >Tenchi looked at her confused. "Why doesn't he?"
  Funaho pointed up at him. "Because he won't last. See for yourself."
  Tenchi looked up again and saw what she meant. Yosho's swings had begun to 
slow down and a streak of gray was working its way through his hair. Wrinkles 
were spreading over his face, turning him into the old man they all knew. 

All: HAPPOSAI?!

  >Baraka began to get the advantage, pushing the old man back into his own 
tracks in the sand. Yosho seemed to be blocking his attacks though, until he 
suddenly stopped in his tracks. Baraka was as surprised by this as anyone and 
stopped also staring at the old man.
  Tenchi yelled out, "Grandpa, what are you doing?"

REBB: (as Yosho)Taking a break, dammit!

  >Yosho's hair had started to fall out, and his skin was tight around his 
bones. 
He looked almost like Ryoko had when Tenchi had released her from the cave. 
  Examining his hand Yosho's face was perfectly calm. The sword flashed blue and 
vanished from his hand, appearing in Tenchi's. Yosho turned back to Baraka and 
bowed his head, accepting death. 
  Aeka let out a loud scream as Baraka's blade swung towards Yosho's head... it 
never landed. Yosho's body crumbled to dust before it hit him and the blade 
passed right through. A breeze blew across the sands, taking Yosho's remains 
with it. 
  Tears fell from Aeka's face. Tenchi put a hand on her shoulder, but she 
shrugged it off. Finally she turned to Ryoko. "This is all your fault!" She 
screamed. 
  Funaho stepped in, "No it isn't Aeka. Yosho knew what was going to happen."
  Aeka looked at her venomously. "How can you say that? You were his mother."

Cypher: (as Funaho) Some kid! I don't hear from him for 700 years, and don't get 
invited to his wedding!

  >Funaho nodded. "I know. That's why I know that he knew he was going to die." 
Aeka turned away without another word, watching the other group, ignoring her 
friends entirely.

>Washu vs. Smoke

All, except Washu: OH GOD, NO!
Washu: Too damn easy.

  >A dark gray robot walked towards them. As it looked at them a thin red beam 
slid over each of them. Washu was watching with interest. "It's scanning us..."
  The robot's head turned towards her. "Affirmative. Calculations complete. 
Mental and physical capabilities means that you would be my most dangerous 
opponent. I Smoke, challenge you to Mortal Kombat."

Washu: Well, let's smoke em, if you got em.

  >Washu bit her lip, then grinned and nodded. "I accept, just let me slip into 
something a little more comfortable." 

Cypher, REBB, Inu-Yasha: Please, not the nurse's outfit. PLEASE, not the nurse's 
outfit!
Washu: What do you guys got against my choice of clothes?

>Her form wavered and changed to her adult 
self. 

Inu-Yasha: Oh, no, here it comes. . .
REBB: Oh no, bad choice of words.

>Then she and Smoke vanished.
  Up in the image Tenchi and the others saw Washu and Smoke appear in a 
junkyard. Smoke's rib cage opened revealing missile launchers. 

Rei: It's Heavy-Arm's little brother.
Glyph: Huh?
Rei: Gundam reference. 

>He fired at 
Washu, who disappeared in a cloud of smoke and dust. 
  When it cleared Washu was standing in a glowing energy field. Her hands were 
out in front of her, her holographic computer out in front of her.

Glyph: Why the echo? Why the echo?

 >"My, you are 
a piece of work. Not as advanced as what I'm used to but you could be fun."

Inu-Yasha: Looks like Washu found another toy.
Rest: Still another bad choice of words.

  >Washu pushed some buttons on her computer and Smoke suddenly stiffened up.

Cypher: Gad, another batch of sexual innuendo.
Inu-Yasha: (groan) And they just keep on coming. . .
Rest: (Deep groan) Another bad choice of words.
 
>Washu laughed and pushed another button. The robot turned to face the people 
watching, then began to do a square dance. Pieces of him began falling onto the 
ground, until only one leg was bouncing around. 
  Washu reappeared next to her friends and smiled up at Tokimi. Tokimi snorted 
and smirked at her. "Flawless victory. Though I'm not sure that that was 
entirely fair."
  Washu laughed. "Fairs are for tourists Tokimi. Anyway I didn't break any 
rules."
  >Tokimi nodded. "Yes, I know. You won Washu."

Washu: Was there any doubt?
Rest: AW, ENOUGH WASHU!

>Funaho vs. Sheeva

  >Funaho watched as another monster came towards them from Tokimi's group. This 
one appeared to be female, but not like any girl any of them had seen before.  
She stood seven feet tall, had four arms and red eyes. Her skin was tan-gold and 
she had three fingers on each hand. Her hair came out of the back of her 
otherwise baldhead in a long black ponytail. 

Glyph: And this is proof, that 'Abstinence Works'. -_-'

>She let her gaze flow over Tenchi, Ryoko, Aeka, and finally Funaho.  
  "I am Sheeva and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat." 
  Funaho looked up into her eyes, "I accept."
  Funaho felt a cold breeze hit her in the face. Looking around her she saw that 
she and Sheeva were standing on the top of a huge stone pillar. It was square 
and when she glanced over the edge she saw nothing but a dark abyss below her. 
Whether it was truly bottomless or not, didn't matter. It was deep enough that 
either way if she fell down there. She would not be coming back. 
  Keeping an eye on Sheeva, Funaho began circling her, looking for any weak 
points. Sheeva merely stood in the middle, watching Funaho closely. Funaho moved 
in, getting close to Sheeva with each pass. Finally Sheeva couldn't wait any 
more and swung at her.
  Funaho grabbed her arm and flipped Sheeva over her head. Sheeva landed on her 
back, shaking the pillar as she hit. She was still smiling though. "Not bad... 
for a human."
  Pressing all four of her palms onto the ground, Sheeva shot straight up into 
the air. Flipping she landed on her feet. Funaho tried to back up, but Sheeva 
grabbed her. "Now it's my turn." Pulling back her fists she began punching 
Funaho mercilessly. Funaho kept hitting and kicking Sheeva with all her 
strength, but her blows didn't so much as bruise the monster. 

All the guys: CAT FIGHT! WOOOOHOOOO!

  >This went on for five minutes until Funaho was a limp and bloody mess in 
Sheeva's arms. Sheeva raised Funaho above her head and began walking to the edge 
of the pillar. She raised Funaho above her head and looked down into the 
darkness beneath her. 

Inu-Yasha: (angry) I've seen enough. [Inu-Yasha gets to his feet. He draws the 
sword, it changing on its own. Abruptly, the image of Sheeva disintegrated.]
Marie: What did you do? That was a light image! Not a demon!
Cypher: I guess the Tetsusaiga couldn't tell the difference. 
[The image reformed, leaving Inu-Yasha to step back.]
Glyph: Will you SIT down?
>Thump< [Inu-Yasha begins to pry his face out of the floor.]
Inu-Yasha: Hey!
Glyph: Oops, sorry, I forgot.

  >Suddenly Sheeva stopped and shook her head, dropping the unconscious empress 
onto the ground behind her. Looking up at the sky Sheeva yelled out, "There is 
no point in killing an unconscious enemy. I choose to spare this one's life."
  Sheeva appeared before Tokimi. Tokimi smiled at her and nodded. "As you know, 
I am not Shao Khan. I understand about honor Sheeva. You win... you will be 
gaining an additional reward later." She looked at her other remaining 
followers. "But I also don't condone going easy on people just to gain my 
favor." They nodded and bowed to her.

All the girls: Just smile and nod, okay. . .

  >Meanwhile Tenchi and the others were gathered around Funaho. Her face was a 
swollen mass of bruises and cuts. Her jaw and skull were both cracked and her 
arms and legs were all broken. 

Cypher: -_-' I can see why the Tetsusaiga took exception.

>Tenchi looked at Washu, "Can you help her Washu?"
  The scientist shook her head. "I don't know Tenchi. We will have to see. I'll 
put her in stasis until after the tournament. " Pushing a button on her 
computer, Washu enveloped Funaho in a green light. "At least... it's almost 
over."

All: We hope!

>Aeka's disgrace: Ryoko vs. Scorpion

  A woman dressed in bright green walked towards them. Her face was deathly calm 
as she looked over the last three. Whether it was fate, or just the evil plans 
of the author,

Rei: Fate.
Inu-Yasha: Fate, definitely.
Washu: Either.
REBB: Fate of the author.
Glyph: Evil plans of the author, no kidding.
Cypher: No comment.

 >Aeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi were all that was left to fight. The 
others stepped back, allowing the woman a clear view of them. 
  Finally she looked at Aeka. "I am Jade and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat. 
Do you accept?"
  Aeka stood up and looked her right in the eyes. "No."
  The others looked at her in shock. "But Aeka..."Kiyone began.
  Aeka shook her head, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I just can't 
do it. After what happened to Yosho. Funaho, and Serio... I just can't do it."
  Jade sneered at her, much the way Aeka always did to Ryoko. "You are a 
coward." 

Cypher: (as Aeka) Yep, but I'm a living coward!

>Turning she left Aeka standing there. Aeka couldn't stop crying. "I... 
I couldn't do it... I just couldn't do it!"
  Tenchi put his hand on her shoulder. "Nobody blames you Aeka. Most people 
wouldn't have agreed to fight in this."

Glyph: Apparently, the author thought these guys would.

  >She shook him off. "No, don't say that Tenchi. I am a coward."
  Ryoko was about to tell her that she wasn't a coward when she felt someone tap 
her on the back. Turning she saw a yellow ninja this time. He looked into her 
eyes with blank, white yes of his own. "I am Scorpion, and I challenge you to 
Mortal Kombat. Do you accept?"
  Ryoko nodded. "You bet." 

REBB: (as Ryoko) Million on Ryoko!

>Her own eyes glowed yellow, while the gems in her 
wrists and neck glowed red. Ryoko blinked and suddenly found herself in a 
forest. She grinned and looked around. "So you're hiding from me Scorpion?"

REBB: No shit, Sherlock!

  >From behind her she heard Scorpion yell, "Get over here!" She turned to look 
at him and got a spear in her gut.

Washu: Like a spear to the gut will affect someone who becomes immaterial.

 >"Aaaah!" Looking down she saw a chain sticking out of her stomach. It began 
pulling her towards Scorpion.
  Ryoko reached down and pulled the chain out of her stomach. She almost lost 
her hand as the spear at the end tried to bite her hand off. Teleporting away 
she healed her stomach. Then she found herself wrapped in Scorpion's chains 
again. 

REBB: So this guy into B&D. . .
[Glyph gets up, picks up her chair, and swings it at REBB] >Crack!<
Glyph: Okay, I've figured it out.
REBB: What?
Glyph: You're thick-headed.

  >"You aren't the only one who can teleport. Let's take this somewhere a little 
more fun." 

Washu: Your place or mine?
Glyph: That was too kinky.

>Scorpion said. Before she could answer Ryoko found herself falling 
into a dark pit. She hit the ground hard. Looking around she saw piles of 
humanoid bones strewn all around. The only light came from fire, spitting from 
the walls. Ryoko looked around for Scorpion and saw him on scaffolding above 
her.
  Ryoko growled and fired a huge ball of energy at him. Scorpion disappeared 
before it hit, blowing up the catwalk. Ryoko looked around and decided that 
enough was enough. Closing her eyes her entire body began to glow. Blasts of 
light shot from her body in every direction. When Ryoko opened her eyes again 
all that was left was her, Scorpion, and a huge crater. 
  Scorpion looked directly at her and pulled his mask off. His face became a 
skull, which opened its mouth, spitting fire directly at Ryoko. 

REBB, Cypher: (Italian) That was a SPICY meat ball. . .

>Ryoko laughed 
and swept it aside. "If that's the best you have, let me show you something." A 
thin Mist began to form in front of her. It grew and swelled until it was a blob 
about 30 feet high. Suddenly it grew arms and legs. Evil red eyes popped into 
existence, looking directly at Scorpion. Scorpion shot out one of his chains 
into it, but it had no effect.
  Grabbing the chain the demon pulled Scorpion into the air and swung him 
around. Finally it threw him into the wall of the crater, cracking his skull and 
causing a huge explosion. When the fire and dust cleared there were two Ryoko's 
giving each other five and bumping hips. "Oh we are bad!"

Rei: Now where are the marshmallows?

  >Tokimi smiled at her as she reappeared. "You win. But be warned, if your next 
fighter fails the battle will be between Tsunami and me. I guarantee that if it 
comes to that she will not survive."

>Tenchi vs. Shang Tsung

  >Tenchi looked at Ryoko and his remaining family. Funaho's battered body 
caught 
his eye. Without saying anything to anyone he stepped forward, not waiting for 
the next person to come meet him. As he did another man stepped forward. Unlike 
the others, he seemed to be perfectly normal. 

Glyph: Which is relative. . .
Everybody else: What's THAT supposed to mean?!

>Tenchi looked him in the eyes and 
the man looked back. "I am Shang Tsung. I challenge you to Mortal Kombat."
  Tenchi nodded. "I accept." 
  Tenchi looked around at the place where he found himself. It seemed to be a 
normal fighting ring, except for the holes all over it. In the center was a huge 
dragon symbol. Tsung grinned at him. "I see you admire my ring. But this is no 
ordinary match. When I defeat you I will get your soul and your power boy... if 
you have any."

Cypher: To quote Bryan: "He just made his ass-whoopin' that much harder."

  >Tenchi shook his head. "I don't plan on loosing."

Guys: So he's gonna let his pants down in public? Eeshh!

  >With no warning Shang shot his hand forward. A flaming skull came shooting 
towards Tenchi. He managed to duck as the skull exploded behind him. Tenchi held 
out the master key, summoning the sword. 

Inu-Yasha: Aren't those two the same things?
REBB: He should have said to "summoned the blade".

>With a shout he ran at Shang and swung. 
The sword almost missed him, only cutting the sorcerer's cheek. 
  Shang grabbed his face and cursed. "Not bad, but let's see you stop this." 
Suddenly huge spike popped out of the floor and Tenchi was surrounded by people, 
who hadn't been there before. "Here are some of the souls I've collected." 
Tenchi looked around at all of them, the fell forward as one kicked him in the 
back. 

Guys: CHEAP SHOT!

>Another took the sword from Tenchi's hand, the screamed as it sent energy 
through him, turning him into a pile of dust. 
  Unfortunately Shang had stepped between Tenchi and his sword. "What will you 
do now?"

Washu: He's in deep doo, isn't he?
Rei: Yes, Tenchi looks like he's in trouble here. . .
Washu: I meant Tsung!

  >The warriors around him all summoned different kinds of energy, including 
Shang Tsung. It was all fired directly at Tenchi from every side, and the 
blinding explosion that followed engulfed him.

All: [puts on sunglasses]

 >Shang smiled and held out his 
hand to claim Tenchi's soul. But something was wrong.
  As the smoke cleared Shang and his warriors could see a glowing shield around 
Tenchi's body. Suddenly there was a flare of light, which evaporated all of 
Shang's ghosts. 

Glyph: Like Sunday's breakfast. . .burnt!
Rest: That's the last time we let you do the cooking.

>Shang watched in shock as the shield moved over Tenchi, changing 
his clothes and skin. Tenchi held out his hand and a sword formed in it. 
  Shang laughed, still confident. "Ha, like a simple sword could harm me." Shang 
held out his hand to fire another volley of skulls at Tenchi. Before he could 
Tenchi swung his sword. Shang laughed. "Lot of good that did. You're way 
over..." He fell to the ground in two pieces. The ring's spikes also fell down 
in a triangular pattern from where Tenchi stood.

Cypher: Talk about your anti-climatic moment.
 
  >Turning Tenchi found himself being hugged by everyone, who told him how proud 
they were of his fighting. Ryoko kissed him directly on the lips before either 
of them remembered that Aeka was there. But for once the princess didn't seem 
interested. Aeka didn't feel she had any more right to insult the pirate.

Washu: Oh, come on, this Ayeka! This is habit!
 
  >Tokimi stood up and looked at Tsunami. "You have chosen your champions well 
sister. I will see you next time." The clouds faded from the sky and as Jurai's 
sun shone down, Tokimi and her followers vanished. 
  Tenchi looked at Tsunami, who looked back sadly. "I am sorry Tenchi." 
  Tenchi sighed. "My grandfather knew what was going to happen. And Serio knew 
the risks. It's over now... 

Inu-Yasha: . . .till next time. (insert evil laughter here)
Glyph: Okay, THAT was creepy.

>right?"
  Tsunami nodded. "For now."
  
>Tenchi sat in the living room with Kiyone and Mihoshi on his right and Ryoko 
on his left. Sasami sat on the love seat with Ryo-oki and Washu. They had just 
finished telling Noboyuki what had happened. 

Cypher: So hopefully they are using the books with the BIG pictures and LITTLE 
words.

>"Is Funaho alright?"

Washu: Oh yeah, she's fine.

  >Tenchi nodded. "Yes, Washu was able to heal her."
  Noboyuki looked around. "Then why didn't Aeka come back with you?"
  Kiyone looked at him. "Because she was ashamed. She said she needed some time 
alone and that she might be back later."
  Noboyuki was confused and he glanced at Tenchi, "But I thought she wanted to 
marry you."
  Ryoko shook her head. "She said watching Yosho die made her realize that she 
didn't really love Tenchi like that."
  Mihoshi, who had been staring at her hand for the last ten minutes said, "You 
know it's weird."

REBB: (as Mihoshi) I should have been killed within the first two minutes, but 
I'm still here!

  Kiyone looked at her. "What is Mihoshi?"
  "Well we don't age any more, but I don't feel any different. Do you?"

Cypher: (as Kiyone) Yes, very. . .

  >Ryoko snorted. "You think that's weird? How do you think I feel? The elder 
gods made me the new Earth goddess of thunder. The only good part is that Tenchi 
has to run the shrine now so we'll be working together."

Rei: Well, at least, they wouldn't be working together all the time.
Glyph: Rei, if I didn't know your show some. . .you'd be scaring me now.

  >Noboyuki grinned. "What I want to know is, who's going to be qualified to 
marry you two to each other?"

Washu: Hey, it could be a double ceremony with you and Bryan and them.
Cypher: Washu, now you're scaring ME!

  >Tenchi blushed and looked at Ryoko. He had asked her to marry him on the way 
back from Jurai. Unfortunately he had forgotten that his father would have to be 
told. 
  Sasami giggled. "Tsunami said she'd do it."
  Washu sighed and looked around at them. "Things are going to be very different 
now." She was still in her adult form. 

Inu-Yasha: You know, you look HOT in your adult form.
Washu: (too sweetly) Inu-Yasha. . .
Inu-Yasha: [clenches, waiting for her to say 'sit']. . .Hmmm?
Washu: Now. [She drops a statue of Furinkan's principal on his head] >Clunk!<
Inu-Yasha: ow.

"It's going to be so quiet without Aeka 
around."

REBB: Yeah, no more, bitching, whining, complaining, pissing, moaning. . .
[Suddenly, as the others duck for cover, Jurian cylinders form around him.] 
>ZAPP! ZAPP!<
REBB: Ahh! A little to the left, please? >ZAPP! ZAPP!< Ahh! Thanks!
Rest: @_@

  >Ryoko grinned and put her arm around Tenchi. "In that case we'll have to make 
lots of noise, won't we Tenchi?"
  Tenchi's nose bled slightly and everyone else laughed. Kiyone winked at Washu, 
"Things haven't changed that much"

Cypher: Oh, yes they have! Tenchi has finally grown a backbone!
Washu: I have more of those statues, you know. . .
Cypher: Shutting up.

>The End

Author's note
  You know, I thought this would be funnier. I mean seriously, didn't you laugh 
at the title? 

Glyph: No.

>But once you get to the actual matches it begins to get pretty 
repetitive. While I did get a little humor into this, there is only so much you 
can do once the killing starts. 

REBB: Nah! You should see how sometimes they find bodies. . .
>Squeaky, Squeaky< [everyone moves their seats from him]

>By the way, if you are a sailor moon fan please 
do not get mad about the Reeny = Serio joke. 

Cypher: Don't worry, no fans here. . .
Rei:. . .

>If you can do this better or want 
to MST it, please do; just send me a copy first. 

Glyph: Oakie, dokie. . .

>If you think this was a good 
story, email me at clayton_n@hotmail.com 


Glyph: [Getting up] Well, Clayton set it up, what do you guys think?
REBB: Better than his "Onion" story.
Washu: Union. . .
REBB: Whatever.
Rei: Mediocre at best, though.
Pathos: Okay, can leave!
Marie: And the doors are open!

A few hours later, Glyph found Mew fluttering by her head. "Hey, kiddo, glad to 
see you better!"
## Hi, glad I do, too! ## The little pokemon flashed his sign. Glyph smiled. She 
stood by the communications console, getting ready to see the Drummond appear.
Washu was smiling as she came up to her post for the switch over for the shift.
"So Inu-Yasha left without much fuss?" Glyph sighed.
	"Yeah, that neural analyzer deleted the deal, but I left him a gift. . ."
	Glyph looked at her with a very concerned expression. " What. . .kind . . 
.of . . .gift?"
   	
	"WASHUUUUUUUU!" Inu-Yasha howled. Kaede paused, then looked around the 
fire she was turning.
	"What is the matter, Inu-Yasha?"
	He whipped towards her. His fingers were interlocked in a series of five 
Chinese finger-traps. Their color mimicked the color in his face. Kaede bit her 
lip, trying to keep from laughing. Whoever this Washu was, Kaede thanked her 
silently.

Ukyo's note came over Glyph's e-mail, and everything was fine.

Things do wind down after all. . . 

Author's note: Okay, we've tried to catch up on our MSTing, but a lot has 
happened. But we should be back up to par, soon.
Glyph Bellchime