The Crew Of the JEDRI---
MST Log::::::::::::File 1 A Passion Satisfying, Ground Shaking, Glass
Breaking. .
Glyph: (grumbling) Oh, brother.

Disclaimer: We did not create some of the characters used, or mentioned.
We didn't make any money off this story. Do not need to sue


The Crew

*Glyph Bellchime-The Leader, human female. "Well, excuse mee! I meant
`guys' as in the group, OKAY?"

*REBB01-The weird one, computer expert, cybertronian. "Couldn't we get a
ship that's just a littl' bigger?"

*Ukyo Kuonji-The hard-working one, cook, human female. "Okonomiyaki,
anyone?"

*Washu Habuki-The  smart one, engineer, humanoid female. Click, "It's
LITTLE Washu, all right?"

*Cypher-The loose cannon, operations, changeling. "Why do I gotta be the
DECOY?!!!"

*Mew-The ties that binds, structural control, pokemon. (sign) "I may be
small, but I'm powerful. (side note) Care for me to demonstrate?"

Andrew Lee McPherson-The leader's boyfriend, pilot, human male. "I don't
think I got it down yet, but I am coming close!"

Pathos-The not-so-bright one, projectionist, humanoid cat. "I not sound
like Shampoo!"

*--actual MSTers


Washu held the glass beaker up above her head. "Here Cypher!" Then in a
cute voice. "Wittle Washu just wants a wittle sample."
 She looked around for a fair-sized puddle of what looked like movable,
gold Jell-O treats. The party in question held very still and very
quiet.
 "If I hold still long enough, maybe she'll put me down and leave me
alone," the jar above her head kept thinking.
 She set him down and called up her holo-computer. She started a scan.
"Ah, very clever, Cypher," she muttered, then snapped her fingers.
The small force field snapped around the jar. "Dammit," the jar
internally grumbled. Then he changed his shape into a kangaroo mouse.
"Washu would have to let up the force field to pick up me," he thought.
"Then I can jump my way outta here!"
But she didn't do that. No, instead, she just pressed a few buttons,
and, pop, he found himself in a large, clear, shielded vat. "So she got
you too, huh?"
Cypher resumed his humanoid shape and look over at the vat next to him.
In said a creature that would have given many a historian a heart
attack. It looked very much like a mythological griffin, but it had
metal and technical interfaces integrated into its body.
"What is now, four times this week, REBB?" Cypher grumbled.
"Five. Unfortunately, I'm easier to catch," the griffin muttered, then
added. "I am transformed." The phrase changed his form. The large
humanoid looking robot sat back down on the floor of the vat. "So what
do you think she'll do to us, this time?"
"Gods, I hope it's not the centrifuge again," Cypher held where his
stomach would be if he had one. "Last time, I had been dizzy for hours."

"Boy, you would be a lotta fun at an amusement park," the robot muttered
under his breath.
"What did you say?"
"If she gets near me with that probe again, I'll stick it up her waste
disposal unit!" REBB growled aloud.
At this point, Washu entered, wearing her nurses uniform and carrying
some weird alienlike devices. Cypher felt like sinking to the floor, and
about did.
Washu sounded like the wicked witch of the west, "Hello my pretties!!!"
(Puts on a rubber glove) **KER-SNAP**
Making both Cypher and REBB jump.
"Hey Cypher, match you for it?"
"Ok. One, two, three, Damn!"
"Alright! It's been real nice knowing you, Cypher."
"Best two out of three?"
 Then a voice squawked over a nearby companel. "Hey, Guys, get your
butts over to the holographic theatre. We got a bogey! A sourball!"
 All three in the room went, "HUH?"
 "It's a Lemon Fic, you guys! A sourball! Oh, nevermind. Do I gotta send
Mew After you?"
 Cypher and REBB both yelled, "PLEASE!"
 "Be at the theatre in ten, Bellchime  out."

 Washu muttered, "Damn!"

Later all the MSTer's stood at the door, jockeying for position. Not
that they all wanted to be first, but as to get through the small
entrance. REBB about  hit his head on the doorframe.

REBB: (Jerry Lewis) Low Bridge!

Mew: Mew? # What did Glyph mean by a `sourball'? #

 Ukyo: She meant we have a Lemon

 Mew: Mew? # What's so bad about fruit? #

 Washu: Not that kind of Lemon.

 Mew: #??????????#

 Glyph: Wait and find out, kiddo. And what's wrong with the shorthand?

 Cypher: You need a Glyph to English dictionary to understand you.

 Glyph: Har-dee-har-har. Need a cane on that one.

 *****Jeff Foxworthy: My favorite word is Sensuous, told my old lady
Sensuous up, get me a beer.*****

 All, but Glyph: What the hell was that?

 Glyph: Warning signal for when it starts. The computer will throw out a
random phrase. If you hear one, head here, IMMEDIATELY!

 REBB: (Sarcastic) Wunderful!

 Ukyo: Shhhh! It's starting.

>A Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction.

Washu: (groaning) Oh, no.

>A Passion Satisfying, Ground Shaking, Glass Breaking. . .

REBB: Lawn Mowing, Beer Can Crushing..
Cypher: UFO Viewing, One Reel Fishing, Butt-crack Showing.

>By Peter Suzuki.

All: (ala Droopy) Yay.

Cypher: He does do some good work. And he's a good MSTer, in his own
rights.
>The series "Tenchi Muyo" is owned by Pioneer LDC, AIC, and its
>contributors.  All rights reserved.

All the girls: DuUH!

>WARNING:  Mild LEMON!  Nothing TOO graphic, but younger (or immature)
>readers should not be reading this.

Mew:  Mew? # Does that include me? #
Washu: No.

>In fact, I don't know why I'm even
>explaining to you, ANYTHING after the word "Lemon" because if you
didn't
>want to read something `sexually explicit' then you would have hit the
Ukyo: Flame Button by now?

>"Go-back" button by now, right?

>Anyway, on with the show.

Washu: Must you?
Ukyo: Why, got something to hide, Little Washu?
#######################################################################

>EARTH:  4:00a.m.

Glyph: God, Washu, hit the snooze button again!
        >Yosho was up early this morning.  He did not even really know
>why, .
REBB: The constant explosions from the house were starting to get on his
nerves?

>other then out of habit.

All: Oh.

 >And now he could not even get to see the
sun rise because of the overcast.

Cypher: That must be some tackle he's using to make to the lake from the
shrine.
Glyph: Wrong type of cast. Although.
Ukyo: What type then, a full body cast?
Glyph: I'll put both of you in one if you don't cut that out.
Cypher: (Muttering) That's a little hard with me.


>  It looked like yet another gloomy,
>autumn morning.  He let out a bored sigh,

Washu: (Commercial) Yes we have premium sighed Lumber.

> and continued to drink the tea
>that he made.  No sense in letting it go to waste.

>Then he heard it, or rather FELT it.

Cypher: (whispering) The paralyzing agent Washu put in his tea must have
taken effect.
Washu: (She puts a finger on a her holographic computer where suddenly
one of the statues from Furinken High dropped on Cypher)
Ukyo: Did you have to choose one of those?
Washu: They were heavy enough. And ugly.
(Cypher flowed out from under the statue, and resumed his place.)

 > A slight tremor shook the
>shrine.  Even the birds stopped chirping.  An earthquake?

REBB01: Dang, he can hear Ranma's stomach from there? ***WHANG!!!!!***
Ukyo: Ranma-honey's stomach isn't that loud.
REBB01: Ow!

>No, it could not be so.

Washu: ( Panicked) Mihoshi got into my lab again?
Glyph: The video rental store refused my card?
Mew: ## Somebody got all 151?##
REBB01: Meg's finally stopped talking to himself?
Ukyo: Ranma's liked Akane's cooking?
Cypher: Have the producers decided if Dukat's a good guy or a bad guy?

>In all the seven hundred years of its existence, the Masaki
>shrine was never effected by earthquakes.  Besides, this felt as if it
>was caused by something close by.  Something that shook the very earth
>that the shrine sat upon.  As Yosho got up to investigate, the shaking
>started again, and did not stop.

        >This could not possibly be an earthquake.  It was more of a
>slight vibrating, rather than a quake.

Everybody: (Singing) Good- good- good Vib-rations!

>Yosho slowly made his way to
>where the shaking felt strongest.
>For the
>first time in a long, LONG time, Yosho was genuinely shocked.

Mew: (Using transform) Pika-CHU!
Everyone else: Huh?
Ukyo: How he do that?

        >The trees were causing the shaking, or more specifically; the
>Funaho tree, the Ryu-oh tree, and the trees born from the Funaho tree's

>seeds were causing the shaking.

Washu: Depends on which series, either Ryu-oh is a real little sapling
or a tree out in the lake.

 > Yosho did not move, even as a sapling
>that had been placed in a pot, gently vibrated across the ground like
>one of those tabletop football games.

REBB01: Go! saplings, Go!

        >"Washu." Yosho mumbled.  "If she's not the cause of this, then
>she must at least have some kind of explanation for this."

Washu: Why do they always blame me first?

        >Yosho then ran as fast as he could, toward the Masaki house.
>His expression was somewhat reminiscent of how a little child would
>look, after hearing a big dog bark at him.

Mew: (Back as his normal? Self) ##Hey, Clifford, that you?##
Everyone else: Obscure!
Mew: ##Sorry.##
        >Yosho came to a screeching halt

Cypher: Boy, that he's  got good lungs for an old guy.
Glyph: Or the lousiest brakes in the world.

>at the door of the Masaki home.
>He briefly turned his head toward the front gate, as he heard a slight
>humming coming from that direction.  He had a very bad feeling of what
>he would see.

Washu: It would have been hard to miss since he passed the gate the
first time, getting to the door.


> Azaka and Kamidake hovered in mid air, spinning like tops, and
>shaking like maracas.

Cypher: La cucaracha, la cucaracha.
Glyph: Hey, Macarena!
REBB01 proceeded to pick up Cypher and use him as weapon on Glyph.
Cypher wasn't happy about it.
Cypher: Cut That out!

>The
>mail man walked by, muttered something about `it getting weirder every
>day', and managed to stuff some envelopes into Azaka on one of the
>revolutions, before continuing on his way.

Ukyo:( Azaka VERY Excited)BILL, BILL, PERSONAL LETTER, BILL.

>A large sweat-drop formed on
>Yosho's head.

        >Yosho then heard one of the girls scream from the bedroom
>window.
>Without another thought, Yosho rushed into the house.

Mew: ##Shouldn't it hurt going through the front door like that? ##

        >If Yosho would have stayed a minute longer he would have heard
>Kamidake moan, "S-S-S-o-o-o-G-G-G-o-o-o-o-o-o-d-d-d-!"

Glyph: .To the last drop!

        >In every sense, Washu was not having a good day.

Washu: Yeah, I got stuck in this story.

> First, last
>night's experiment ended in disaster with only herself to blame, then
>she was woken up by Ayeka, at this unruly hour, about something
>happening to Sasami, and when she got to the bedroom she saw THIS.

REBB01: And it was the last thing she ever saw.
Washu: I can bring Azusa Shiratori here.
Everybody but Washu: NOOOOOOOO!

        >Sasami lay on the floor, flopping like a fish on dry land,
>moaning like a banshee. . .

Cypher: ( Sweatdrop) Didn't the banshee in Earth mythology mean that
death is on its way.
Glyph: I don't like where this is heading.

>and seeming to be enjoying every minute of
>it.

Ukyo: At least someone is.

 >"Ahh!  AAAH!  Oooh!  Mmmm-YES!!"

        >"And when did you find out about this?" Washu asked Ayeka.

REBB01: (Ayeka) Oh, when she rolled over and slipped me some tongue, it
gave me the first clue.
WHANG! WHOP! WHAM! WHAM! WHANG! TANG! TA-TISH! REBB01 held his sword up
and held off the female barrage.
Mew: ##Getting better at that, aren't you? ##


       > "Well, I got up to get a glass of water.  Sasami then told me
>that she felt slightly cold.  When I got back with a blanket, I found
>her like this." Responded Ayeka.

        >"Did you check her for symptoms of sickness?" Washu asked, as
>she materialized her computer.
Washu: All right, who put Windows 98 on this thing?

        >Ayeka looked a little bit distraught about it.

Glyph: Eeesh!
Mew: ## Why? you like Macs? ##
Everyone else looked sour at the little critter.

>"Well. . .  I
>DID try to check her for a fever, b-but when I placed my hand on her
>forehead she. . . she. . ."

Ukyo: (Ryoga) HOKO-DAN.
Cypher: Okay, where is he, and how the hell did he find this place?
Ukyo: Easy, easy, he ain't here.
Cypher: Next time I see him I'll give the Houkou Onchi a way home!
Glyph: Frequent Flyer miles. Without a plane. Ouch!

>Ayeka seemed reluctant, and slightly scared
>to mention what happened next.

REBB01: Does it have any thing to do Ryoko's body hanging limply out of
the wall?
Everyone else: Fourth wall!!!!


        >Just then Ryoko phased in through the wall, and Ryo-oh-ki
>toddled in from the hallway.  Ryoko said, "Hey, why are the windows
>shaking like. . ."

Mew: ## (Cat from RD) ..Like a grass skirt on a fat hoola-hoop champion.
##
Glyph: No more Red Dwarf for you, kiddo.
Mew: ## Awwwww! ##

>Ryoko then noticed Sasami jerking around on the
>floor.

Everyone: (singing) Ooo, Cool Jerk!

>"What the?  Washu!  Did you do something to Sasami!?!"

Washu: (grumbling) Always, its blame it on the mad scientist. Why do
they do that?

>Ryoko said in her most menacing tone.

Cypher: (Copying Washu from earlier) Hello my pretties!
Everyone gave a glare to him.

        >"No!  Now get out of the way, I'm trying to find out what's
>wrong." Washu snapped.

Washu: Yeah!

>Tenchi, from his bedroom, Nobuyuki, from the library, and
>Mihoshi, from wherever she passed out last,

Cypher: Where she'd get the toilet ring around her neck?
Ukyo: You're really asking for it, you know that?

>entered into the bedroom.
>They each saw Sasami, and said, "Washu!!  Did you do something to
>Sasami!?!?!"

     Washu: (In perfect timing with her double)
>"WHY IN HELL DO YOU ALL THINK THAT I'M THE ONE WHO'S CAUSING
>SASAMI TO BE LIKE THIS!?!?!?!"  screamed Washu.  "I'M TRYING TO FIND
OUT
>WHAT'S WRONG, DAMNIT!!!"

        >Ryo-oh-ki approached Sasami, and gently nuzzled the arm of her
>best friend.  Suddenly, Ryo-oh-ki found herself in the bone crushing
>embrace of the blue hared princess.  Sasami rubbed the cabbit all over
>the front of her body.

Mew: (Ryo-oh-ki) Merowwwww!

>"S-so warm, fuzzy!  AH!  Feels so good!  Ooooh!"

Everyone:................
REBB01: Can you think of anything?
Glyph: Naw, can you?
Ukyo: Total mental shut-down.

>Sasami seemed
>to really enjoy the feeling of the small furry body on her own.

Mew: ## Wasn't Ryo-oh-ki with her just a few minutes ago? ##

        >Ryoko went over to free her cabbit from Sasami's remarkably
>strong grip.  When the former pirate pulled Sasami's arms away,
>Ryo-oh-ki rolled off of the princess, and passed out a few feet away.

Ukyo: Ouch!
Washu: Owie!
Glyph: Ai-yahoo!
REBB01: Eewich!
Cypher: Aiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Mew: ## Mama! ##

>Suddenly, Sasami quickly embraced Ryoko, kissed the shocked young woman

>fully on the lips, and began to hump her body.  Ryoko let out a muffled

>scream of surprise as she was embraced in a hug that was strong enough
>to push all of the air out of her lungs.

Glyph: I really don't like where this heading!

        >Sasami continued to moan softly into her kiss, and every so
>often let out a cry of pleasure on the upbeat of her humping.

        >"Ayeka, would this be similar to what happened to you, when you

>tried to check Sasami's temperature?" asked Washu.

REBB01: (Ayeka) Naw, for me she kinda went into a sixty-nine.
Washu suddenly drops a big bell on the cybertronian.
Ukyo: Yipe!
Glyph: Hey! You could have warned us, ya know!
REBB01: Hey! Let me outta here!

>Ayeka, ghostly pale as she watched the scene unfold, simply
>nodded "Uh-huh."

        >Yosho then marched in from the hallway.  "Miss Washu, the trees

>from Jurai are shaking, I think Azaka and Kamidake are trying to do
`The
>Macarena'

Everyone but REBB01 glares at Glyph.
Glyph: Hey, I didn't say it!

>again, and. . ." Yosho noticed Ryoko & Sasami, and regained
>some of his usual composure.

Screeeeeeeeee-ringggggggggg! Klunk!
REBB01: Dat's better!

>"Miss Ryoko, could you two at least wait
>until Sasami is older?"

REBB01: Sniff, sniff, I smell Lemon scent.

        >"mrrrph! Himmph!  Grrmn-himph!" Ryoko's muffled screaming held
>more panic, than actual anger.

Cypher: Oh my goddess! Ryoko's turned in to Kenney!

       > "Trust me Yosho, it wasn't Ryoko's idea."

Someone started giggling.
Ukyo: No shit, sherlock!

>Said Washu as she
>turned back toward her computer.

Mew: (To Ukyo) ## But I thought you did? ##

>"Oxygen intake, increased by fifty percent.  Blood pressure, increased
>by twenty percent.  Hormone balance. . .up one hundred and twenty
>percent!?!  How can that possibly
>be?"

Cypher: You don't want to know, really.

        >"Miss Washu!" Mihoshi interrupted.  "I think Ryoko's having
>trouble breathing!"

        >"What are you talking about?" said Washu.  "Ryoko was made to
>withstand environments with zero oxygen. . ." Washu noticed that Ryoko
>was indeed turning blue.

Washu:  Now she's. Purple.
Cypher: Green
Ukyo: Kinda yellow.
Glyph: Bright red, surely.
Mew: ## White. ##
REBB01: Snot green with Peach polka dots!
Everyone: ...........
Glyph: Where the hell did that one come from?
REBB01: Don't ask, don't smell.

>"Oh. . .  Help me separate them."

Cypher: Why don't you put them in your centrifuge?
Washu: (defensively) I only did it the once.

        >Tenchi, Mihoshi, and Washu managed to pull Sasami's arms from
>around Ryoko.  The cyan-hared one then jumped back away from Sasami,
and
>started gasping for air.


      >  "I *PANT* really *GASP* wish *WHEEZE* she *GASP* didn't *PANT*
>slip *HUFF* me *GASP* the *WHEEZE* tongue!" Ryoko managed to say, as
she
>got air back into her body.

Ukyo: Not so hard, Ryoko. Tenchi's flappin' in the breeze.
WHAP!
Washu: That's my daughter you're talking about.

        >Ryoko's three saviors stepped back before Sasami could get a
>hold of them too.  The blue-hared girl let out a slight disappointed
>moan at the loss of sensation, but quickly resumed her previous
actions.

        >Mihoshi then realized something.  "You know, Kiyone used to do
>something similar to this all of the time.  Only she usually had her
>hands between her legs when she was doing it.  But if you come within
>arms reach of her during that time, she'll grab you and-"

REBB01: ..select the reverse choke hold and plant your face in the dirt.

> Mihoshi did
>not notice the shocked stares coming from everybody else. . .  Except
of
>course for Sasami, who was gyrating her hips, and Ryo-oh-ki, who was
>still passed out on the floor.

Ukyo: One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!

        >Washu decided to check the hunch that what was happening WAS
>similar to what Mihoshi was referring to.  Needless to say, it solved
>one mystery only to lead to another.

Mew: ## Like who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? ##
Everyone else:..........

        >"This can't be right." Muttered Washu.

Cypher: (Washu) Two plus two equals four, not five.


  >"There's no outside
>stimulus, no internal stimulus.  This shouldn't be happening on its
own,
>especially at this level of magnitude."


Washu: (in response) ..of your guy's stupidity. (then notices everyone
else) I meant the crude boys in the front.

>"What's wrong, Miss Washu?" asked Tenchi.

Washu: I am having trouble getting past the final boss he's so short
Panty's normal punch sails right over his head!
REBB01: (to you people) 5 points extra credit to any one who can guess
what the game is.

        >"Don't call me `Miss', and according to my readings, Sasami is
>about to experience pubicloital, fricative sensation, sensory
overload."

        >"Huh?" remarked six voices, eerily in unison.

REBB01: That isn't errie, (Mimicking a Hydralisk) This is.
Everyone else: CUT THAT OUT!!!!
Mew: ## Save me, Save me. ##
(At this point, Glyph is trying to breathe around a tail)
Glyph: Mmmmmmfphew!

        >"She's going to have an orgasm." Washu explained.

Ukyo: I knew I wasn't Gonna like this.


        >"Oh, that's all." Said the six, sounding relieved.  Then they
>realized what Washu said.  "SHE'S WHAT!?!?!"

Washu: How far in layman's terms do you want this?
Glyph: When you get crude, you get weird. NO!
REBB01: (To Glyph) She has to GET weird?
(Washu contemplates which one to hit first)


>Even Ryo-oh-ki woke up at
>that realization.

Ukyo: Who wouldn't?

>Washu decided to continue.  "And according to the psychological
>readings, she's reacting to all outside stimuli as if it was causing
the
>sensation."

        >Nobuyuki was the only one who understood that.  "So whoever
>she's hugging, she imagines that THEY are having sex with her?"

REBB01: Anyone want to touch that?
Cypher: Not with a ten foot polecat.
Ukyo: And it stinks just as bad.

        >"That's correct."  Said Washu.  Nobuyuki quickly left the room,

>and then returned with the camera.  "Uh, what are you planning to-"

Cypher:  (Nobuyuki) Jerry Springer will pay a hundred bucks for shot
like these.
Ukyo: The bad part is, I can imagine that.
REBB01: (Announcer) Next on Jerry Springer, "Princesses who get in touch
with themselves.without any help"
WHANG, TISH TANG, HINK, TACK, WHAND-DANG.
REBB01: I made it this time. HUH?
(Mew suddenly smacks REBB into the ceiling, then he floats him back
down)
REBB01: I'm going to get you for that.

        >"Tenchi!" exclaimed Nobuyuki.  "Go over there and hug Sasami."

Cypher: (Tenchi) Okay.
WHANG
Washu: Don't go there. Too many people do.

        >"OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!!!" shouted four girls, and one boy.

Glyph: Anyone want to volunteer in creating it?

        >"Miya!  Miya! Miya!" chirped Ryo-oh-ki.

Ukyo: Well, that's three votes `yea'!

       > "No, you may NOT go over there and let Sasami hug you again."
>Snapped Ryoko.

        >Ayeka then realized something.  "Miss Washu, if Sasami reacts
>that way to any stimulus, then when she hugged. . ." both Ayeka and
>Ryoko reached for the wet spots on their clothing.  The warm, sticky,
>wet spots right were Sasami had been rubbing that special spot between
>her legs, on them.

Washu: Ooo, what were they thinking?

>"Yes, Ayeka.  When Sasami had you in her hug, she was imagining
that you were copulating with her."

        >Both Ayeka and Ryoko turned white as pale as ghosts.

Glyph: too much of a metaphor, or did the computer suggest something
without  checking?

 >Ayeka
>quickly made her way toward the bathroom, and threw up.

Ukyo: (Ayeka)You know, I didn't know I ate  that.
Glyph: (Checking personal barf bag) Hey, who put this mouse in
here---Pathos!
Outside: Me know nothing.

>Ryoko looked very depressed.

REBB01: (Ryoko) I wanted to start it.
Ukyo: We're trying to raise the standards, not lower them.

        >"S-Sasami thought that she and I. . .  Oh, I feel so
>violated!!!" cried Ryoko.

        >Ayeka walked back into the room and muttered, "If mother ever
>found out about this, she would laugh until she lost bladder control."

Cypher: (Masaki)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah(piss)
oh crud.
Ukyo: Hey, we had to warn him. (Pointing with her thumb to REBB) Do we
have to the same thing to you?

        >Ryoko cried on Tenchi's shoulder.  "Oh, Tenchi!  I'm sorry.
>That's probably how it's like for you, too, isn't it?  I'll never try
to
>seduce you again, unless you want us to make love, I promise!" said
>Ryoko.

Glyph: That sounds more like Minagi.

        >"Miss Ryoko!" Ayeka snapped.  "You know perfectly well that
>Lord-Tenchi has never made love to anybody, especially to a woman like
>YOU!!!"

        >Ryoko glared at Ayeka.  "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter,

(every woman in the room stares at REBB and Cypher, as going
get-the-hint)

>will ya!  I mean WHEN he wants to make love." She lovingly gazed into
>Tenchi's eyes.  "Right, Tenchi?"

        >"Ryoko, will you please not grab my rear-end like that."
>commented Tenchi.

Glyph: That's more like the Ryoko we know.

        >Ryoko looked perfectly innocent as she said, "Okay, Tenchi.
How
>do you want me to grab it?"  Ayeka slapped Ryoko's hand off of Tenchi.
>!  Hey!"

        >"Miss Ryoko!  Lord-Tenchi did not mean what he said in THAT
way,
>and you know it!"  Ayeka then lovingly gazed into Tenchi's eyes.  "That

>monster woman did not molest you too badly, did she Lord-Tenchi?"

        >"Don't worry Miss Ayeka.  I'm fine." Tenchi then frowned
>slightly.  "I'd feel even better if you would now get YOUR hand off of
>my rear-end."

REBB01: Woooo! Wooooo!

        >Ayeka managed to pull her hand away before Ryoko could slap it.

        >Mihoshi scratched her head.  "Miss Washu, shouldn't we move
>Sasami to your lab, or something?  I mean there has to be something
that
>you can do."

        >Washu shook her head.  "For the last time, it's LITTLE-Washu,
>not `Miss' Washu, and it would not be a good to move her at this time."

        >"Why?" questioned Ryoko.  "It's not like she's going to
>explode."

        >"In a way, she IS." Replied Washu.

Cypher, in reading Mew's signs: Ten.. nine.. eight.. seven.. six..
five.. four.. three..
Everyone else: SHUT UP!

        >Then they all realized something.

Ukyo: That they're in a Lemon Fic?

       > "Ohh!  Ahh!  OOOOOHHhhh!!  EEEahh!!  AAAh!!  OOOoooh!!!
OOOOOAAA!!!"

        >Sasami's moaning was getting louder.


Washu: (Muttering) .and her bitching isn't getting any quieter.

        >"What's going on!?!" Tenchi yelled over the noise.

        >"She's reaching climax!" replied Washu.

        >"Whatdowedo!?!?  Whatdowedo!?!?!  Whatdowedo!?!?!?!" Mihoshi
panicked.

Glyph: endthisdumbfic.endthisdumbfic!

        >"Pray I don't run out of video tape!!" said Nobuyuki.

       > "Mr. Masaki, I would greatly appreciate it if you would NOT
>record the embarrassment of my little sister reaching the `Clouds and
>Rain', thank you very much!!!"  Ayeka shouted at Nobuyuki.

Everyone: HUH?

        >Ryoko arched an eyebrow in confusion.  " `Clouds and Rain'?
>What the heck is that?"

Everyone: You got us.

        >Everyone else stared, shocked at what Ryoko just said.  "You. .

. >Really don't know, do you?" stated Ayeka.

Ukyo: You mind telling us?
REBB01: Or is it one of those Don't ask, don't smell questions.

        >Ryoko did not get a chance to respond.  Washu realized that if
>Sasami's voice kept getting louder at its rate, well. . .

Washu: SHE"S GONNA BLOW!

        >"EVERYONE, GET DOWN!!!" Washu shouted.

Everyone: BOMP-cheecky-bow-wow

        >Everyone else started making `Rap Music' noises.

        >"I MEAN, DUCK!!!" Washu shouted.  This time everybody
>understood, and listened to Washu's orders. . .  Well, almost everyone.

Ukyo: Mousse, get out of the way.

        >Ryoko and Ayeka flapped their arms and called out, "Quack,
>quack, quack, quack, quack!!"

        >Upon Washu's angry glare, the princess and the pirate stopped
>fooling around.

        >"AH!!!  OH!!!  OOOOOHH!!  YES!!!!  AAAAAAAH!!!"

>At that point, Sasami finally climaxed.  Her INTENSE screams rocked the

>very earth itself.


>"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!  YES!!!!!!!  YES!!!  YES!!! YES!!!!!!!  AAH!!!
>AAH!!!  OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"

#######################################################################

>JURAI:  About the same time.

Cypher: Sudden scene change.trippy.

        >It was a very bad day in the Jurian royal palace.  Almost all
of
>the soldiers, servants, and officials were in a panic.  Almost all.

Glyph: Old geezer alert!

        >"Hey, Karu." Said an old, retired Jurian night, who sat in an
>old rocking chair.

        >"Yeah, Taro?" responded another retired Jurian night, in a
>similar rocking chair.

        >"Ain't never been a panic like this one in a long time, has
>there?" said Taro.

        >"Well I don't know, Taro.  The royal trees shaking like they
are
>don't seem so terrifying ta me." said Karu.

        >"Oh, yeah?  Well, name one time that there was this much panic
>in the troops." Said Taro.

        >"Well. . .  There was dat time when the Emperor found Misaki
and
>Funaho, in bed together." Replied Karu.

REBB01: Ooo, one of those scenes.

        >"Yeah, I guess ya got me there.  Nutting was like that day!"
>said Taro.

        >Both old men shared a very good laugh.

        >Yes, the Jurian empire was in an uproar because all over the
>galaxy, all of the Jurian royal trees, weather guardian, ship, or just
>plain tree were seeming to shake enough to rattle the universe itself.
>The ships were bouncing around the docking bays, Jurian officials were
>getting motion sick in their space vessels, the guardians were actually

>succeeding in keeping intruders away from the palace. . .  including
>everyone else for that matter.  It was like all of the trees had gone
>bonkers, at once.

        >Queen Misaki woke up to the feeling of the palace shaking.
>Still half asleep, she decided to do something about it.  She kicked
her
>sleeping husband, Emperor Azusa, out
>of bed, and told him to do something about the shaking.

Washu: Kick, thump, hurh?

        >Grumbling and groggy, the emperor picked up one of the alarm
>clocks in
>the bedroom as he plodded out the door.  He continued down the hallway,

>to the main hall,
>past the throne room, through the mob of panicking soldiers and
>servants, by two retired Jurian nights,

        >"Good morning, Taro." Said Azusa, in monotone.

        >"Good day, my lord.  Lovely day for a stroll." replied Taro.

        >"Good morning, Karu." Said Azusa, in monotone.

        >"You are aware that you're still in your pajamas, right?"
>replied Karu.

Girls: Don't go there!

>around the corner, through the arches, following the yellow brick road,

>up the hill, down the hill, up the hill, down the hill, around the
>McDonald's, over hill and over dale, past the Denny's, nothing but net.

>. .  oops, wrong bit. . .  through the double doorways, past that weird

>guy they found on Earth,

Cypher: Somebody lost track on the story.

        >"Good morning, Elvis." Said Azusa, in monotone.

       > "Lemmie outta here, man!!!" Screamed the overweight,
.greasy-hared musician.

Ukyo: .Passing the kid with a map and a yellow and black bandanna...
Glyph: (Ryoga) Where is Nerima?
Cypher: Speaking of which.


>past a couple of jerks who were caught in the palace gardens lighting
>their farts,

        >"Good morning, Beavis.  Good morning, Butthead." Said Azusa
>in-ah you know how he says it!!

        >"Huh-huh, he said `butt'." Chuckled the brown-hared one.

        ">Heh-heh, Fire!  Fire!" said the blond-hared one.

REBB01: That's weak. Try this (Inferno, waving flame thrower)
BUURRRNNNNN, Infedels.
Everyone else: You moron, Cut it out!

>through another pair of double doors, past the Clocman Diamond, and
>finally to the place that housed the garden for the royal trees of
>Jurai, and where a great amount of the
>shaking was coming from.

        >When Azusa opened the doors, he saw ALL of the trees shaking
>like
>crazy.  In the distance, he could swear that he heard a woman's voice.
>The emperor shouted,
>"HEY!!!  WHOEVER IS DOING THIS!!!  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT
>IS!?!?!  IT'S. . ." Azusa
>noted that the clock he took required a power outlet, not that it
>mattered since its cord was ripped out.

Everyone else by Glyph: Sounds like you in the morning.

 >"WELL, NEVER MIND EXACTLY WHAT
>TIME IT IS!!!  IT'S STILL EARLY IN THE MORNING, AND ROYALTY NEEDS TO
>SLEEP YOU KNOW!!!  SO STOP IT RIGHT NOW, YOU HEAR ME!!!"

Ukyo: God, that does sound like you.


        >The royal trees stopped their shaking momentarily, to make way
>for what was to come next.  A massive wave of orgasmic pleasure ripped
>through the melee, causing the trees to shake even more violently then
>before.  Azusa was knocked over as the force nearly shook the entire
>dome off its foundation.  Then, although it had nothing to do with the
>emperor's threat (like that would stop him from taking credit for it),
>the shaking stopped.  Azusa congratulated himself on a job well done,
>and left.

        >Meanwhile, at the center of the garden for the royal trees,
>Tsunami sat
>in front of her tree.  Her hair was a mess, her robes were undone,
there
>was a puddle of something forming between her legs, clear goo covered
>her left hand and trailed down her arm, but she looked VERY content
with
>herself.

Mew: ..........
Ukyo: Yow! He passed out!

        >"That was FUN!!" cheerfully thought Tsunami. "I can't believe I

>never thought about doing this before." She then licked her cum off of
>her hand, and reentered her tree.

#######################################################################

>BACK ON EARTH.

        >Fragments of broken glass lay on the floor, from all of the
>shattered windows.  Nobuyuki's camera lens was cracked, as was his
>glasses.  Mihoshi still was crouched
>down, covering her ears and face.  Yosho was just wearing a mangled
>piece of metal on his face, for that was all that was left of his
>spectacles.  Washu's computer had a large fissure going down the
>monitor.  Ryo-oh-ki uncurled her ears, Ryoko and Ayeka tried to stop
the
>ringing in their heads, and Tenchi checked to see if he still had the
>ability to hear.

Glyph: Pheeeee-yoww!

        >And where was Sasami?  The second princess of Jurai lay in the
>center of the room.  Both of her pigtails had come out of their buns
she
>tied them in before she went to sleep.  Her pajamas were stained near
>the bottom, with a warm, sticky, fluid that could only be her dew of
>passion.  And aside from being very worn out, she looked very, VERY
>happy with the whole situation.

        >Tenchi was the first one to speak.  "Washu, do you think it's
>over?"

Everyone: Wooooo! Hallelujah!

       > "Yes it is, Tenchi." replied Washu.  "Whatever it was, it has
>now run its course, and is finally over."

        .>Sasami then sat up, and wiped some of the sleep from her eyes.

>With a cute smile she stated, "Whatever it was, I hope that it happens
>again! ^_^"

REBB01: I hope not.

>And to all, a good face-fault.

Everyone: Whapang!

>THE END.

>AUTHOR'S COMMENTS:

>I'VE POURED GASOLINE ALL OVER MY BODY, SO DON'T FLAME ME!!! O_O

REBB01: (readies flamethrower) Is that a challenge?

>Now that I got that out of the way, I wish to defend my Fan Fic.
>Weather you like it or not.

>Wow, my first lemon. . .  And it's (kind of) funny.

Ukyo: That could be debated.

 > I don't know when I
>decided to make this a lemon.  It just CAME to me all of a sudden.  >_<

>Yes, I know that this is a Sasami lemon, and that everyone says that
>they all should be burned in some great funeral pyre, with their
>writers.  Hey, I hated "In The Carrot Patch" (sorry, don't know the
>writer's name.  But it is rumored that some other Fan Fic writers us
his
>name as an alternative to cursing now) as much as the next guy, but I
>tried something different (I hope) from the usual `Sasami-Lemon-Fic'.

>If you paid attention, you would have realized that I didn't make this
>the usual "Oh my god!!  That was sick AND perverted!!!" lemon Fan Fic.
>I tried to make this one kind of cute.  ^_^

Washu: Cute? Try weird.
Cypher: And that's coming form you, Washu?

>. . . . . .  I should be worried, shouldn't I.  -_-;

All: YES!

>Well, if you still hate it so much then do a MST on it.  I certainly
>won't stop you.  In fact you could do the same for ALL of my Fan
Fiction
>stories, and I won't stop you.  Go ahead, make my day!

>Just remember, I can also do an MST of a MST.  BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!

REBB01: GO ahead, make our day.

>Oh, by the way.  I've finally found an answer for why there are so many

>Sasami lemons, but no Nobuyuki lemons.  Sasami is the cutest `humanoid'

>character in the series, and gains some sexual attention from some
>respectable Fan Fic writers (You know who you are.), and MOST
>non-respectable Fan Fic writers (Same thing. You know who you are.).
>Weather you like it or not, Sasami is cute, sweet, and more desirable
>then MOST people would like to admit.

>Nobuyuki is another story entirely.  Being a pervert is not the
problem,
>if perversion was a problem then there would be no lemon Fan Fic,
>right?  The problem is that Nobuyuki looks, and acts like a Japanese
>version of `Homer Simpsion'.

Cypher: (Homer Simpson) Doh!

> And if you get the English dubbed versions
>of the Tenchi Muyo series he even SOUNDS like him.  Also here's
>Something to consider; Who in their right mind would want to see
>Nobuyuki having sex?  Just a thought.

Everyone: Full body shiver! OOOOOOOOO!

>Oh well, until next time.  Adidas!

Glyph: What does sneakers have to do with it?

>Peter Suzuki.




Glyph: Well, what do you guys think?

Rest: WIEEEEEE-RD!

Glyph: Be a little more specific

REBB01: It did have an interesting beginning. And the ending was a
kicker! But your  thought of Nobuyuki in your comments EEEeeww.

Cypher: This isn't a lemon, this is a lime. At least.

Glyph: I don't think I can get through a Lemon without puking.

Mew: ## BYE! ##