Contrivance MST 1.02
By Nullstate

<Disclaimer>
	I make no claim on any characters within this MST save Lee, Alex, and 
Michael. I do however make a claim on the Multi-Dimensional Persona Compression 
Contrivance Contraption(tm). Tenchi Muyo is copyrighted material of AIC, 
Kadokawa Shoten Publishing, and Pioneer. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is 
copyrighted to Best Brains Inc. Any other copyrighted material which may or may 
not appear in MST are the property of their respective owners.
</Disclaimer>

<Warning>
Some of the stories riffed in this MST are lemons. If you are not of legal 
age to view such content please read no further. Thank you.
</Warning>

<Intro>
	Fan fiction. It is both one of the highest forms of fandom, and greatest 
sources of pain for both fanatic and casual reader. It is the expression of 
inspiration derived from love (or hatred) of fictional worlds crafted in the 
minds of others. In some cases the original works span multiple continuities.
However, a certain theory exists that states that all possibilities are played 
out in different dimensions. This being the case, then a reality must exist 
where everything is as it is in these supposed pieces of fiction and one for 
each continuity.
	A small group of anime and manga fans have applied this theory to create 
a device known as the Multi-Dimensional Persona Compression Contrivance 
Contraption(tm). Using this they can show the "characters" some of the good which 
has sprung from the minds of their fans, and more importantly give them the 
opportunity to ridicule some of the horrendous garbage a few of them dream up.
</Intro>

<Recap>
	Last time the crew of the space station Contrivance (Lee Jeffries, Michael 
Tibbs, and Alexandria Samson) met with a few minor mishaps in the initial run of 
the MDPCCC(tm). As a result it's out of order. Lacking the funds required to make 
the needed repairs they and their guests (Tenchi and Noboyuki Masaki, Ryoko 
Habuki, and Princess Ayeka Jurai) have been forced to search for part-time work.
</Recap>

<MST>
	The dining area was a shifting mountain of newsprint. From underneath 
one mound or another the occasional masculine voice could be heard requesting 
some section or other. Suddenly a head erupted from beneath one particularly 
large pile. He gasped for breath as he began a visual scan of his surroundings 
trying to locate his companions.
	"Where are you guys?" Tenchi asked of the room at large.
	An ink-stained hand clawed its way from underneath the sea of want ads 
less than six inches from his face. This elicited a rather feminine yelp from 
Tenchi as he leapt high enough to clear the papers. The owner of the hand seemed 
not to notice as he continued his zombie-like emergence from his freshly printed 
grave. "I can't breath under this stuff!" was Lee's first statement after 
finally pulling his head above "ground-level."
	"Would you two knock it off!" Michael shook his head in disgust at their 
antics as much as to free himself of the last few pages that clung to him. "No 
wonder we haven't found any work with you two wasting so much time."
	"Well excuse me, Grumpy, but there isn't exactly a whole herd of positions 
out there for MST station captains." Lee stated with a glare.
	"...or high school drop outs with some combat and shrine training... even if 
they can summon light hawk wings." Tenchi added. "So what's your excuse?"
	"Um...w..w..well..." Michael sputtered.
	Two weeks had past since the arrival of the Contrivance's current guests, 
and most of them had spent the time looking for work. Noboyuki had been the 
first to find gainful employment. As a trained and experienced architect, he was 
highly in demand. Coupling his skill with his own "unique interests" he'd taken 
a job designing a chain of adult bookstores and other similarly themed 
enterprises. The female guests of the station had also found jobs. Both Ayeka 
and Ryoko were even now at their first days work. Oddly enough they had gotten 
jobs at rival businesses that lay in close proximity to each other. As to the 
nature of these jobs... well both had declined to explain when asked. Alex was the 
exception in the job hunt, she had to remain aboard the station to effect minor 
repairs incurred during the last MST.
	Michael had spent the first part of the two weeks being treated for his 
various injuries. He no longer sported sling and bandages. Almost all of his 
burns were healed, but the hair he'd lost had yet to start growing back. Despite 
his weak response to Tenchi's goading, he actually had been to a few interviews, 
but they hadn't gone well. Most of the interviewers had spent the entire time 
starring at a spot in the vicinity of his forehead. It isn't often a person sees 
an eyebrowless man. He hadn't received any calls for second interviews.
	Tenchi and Lee were a different matter. Tenchi had been perfectly honest 
in saying he was having trouble finding a job he was qualified for. However, Lee 
had spent the time trying to look busy while waiting for a job to fall into his 
lap. Despite what most people say it had always worked for him in the past, but 
he was beginning to get desperate.
	This morning he had gathered the other jobless men of the station and 
suggested they make a mass search of as many want ads as possible. It was not 
going well.
	Deciding Michael had squirmed enough, Lee changed the topic. "How long 
have we been at this now?"
	The older man answered quickly. "About seven and a half hours."
	"Crap! We better get this cleaned up. Everyone will back soon."
	As if Lee's last statement had been a cue one of the doors opened causing 
a sudden shift in the room's contents. An unsuspecting Alex was greeted by a 
tsunami of paper pages.
	"AAHHH!! What the hell is all this!" Three ink-stained men looked at each 
other as if trying to decide who would face the young woman's wrath. "Oh, forget 
it. I needed to test the galley's cleaning droids anyway. Just go clean up. 
You're all a mess."
	"Yes'm" the men chorused as they hurried to leave.
	Alex's glare vanished as soon they had left, replaced by a wry smile. 
Pulling out a small remote from one of the pockets of her coveralls, she pushed 
the button to active the auto-cleaning system. As the small robots wirred to 
life she nodded in approval, and turned to leave. "Idiots" she commented with a 
laugh.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	Alex hadn't gotten very far when she saw the other female occupants of the 
space station. They both looked rather dazed and run down. Being the gently, 
sensitive soul she is, Alex sought to find the best way to phrase the question 
on her mind. "What the hell happened to you two?"
	To say that Ryoko and Ayeka had suffered a bad day would be an 
understatement. Likewise, it would be understatement to say that the first day 
at work had been a small disaster. Both were dressed in garments which were no 
longer identifiable. They were covered in dust, soot, and what might have once 
been food. "Shower first, then talk," both said in a monotone.
	"Right." Alex thought best to just leave it alone for now.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	The men and Alex had returned to the dinning hall after cleaning up, and 
were passing the time while waiting on Ayeka and Ryoko. "They really looked that 
bad, huh?" Lee asked Alex.
	"Yeah. They said they'd explain after they had showered" she answered.
	Michael turned from his crewmates to ask the only guest present a 
question. "So, Tenchi, when is your dad due back?" After the initial worship had 
died down in the aging fanboy, he had proven to be a relatively normal human 
being.
	"About three day." Tenchi replied before reaching for his can of pop.
	Thusly they passed the next few minutes. Small talk drifted from what 
exactly the guys had been doing when Alex came in earlier to how she was doing 
on the repairs. Finally, just when the day's topics seemed to be exhausted, 
Ryoko came in followed shortly by Ayeka. Both were now clean and normally 
dressed, but Alex couldn't help noticing that both still looked a little shell-
shocked. On top of that it was painfully obvious that they were nervous. Each of 
them kept glancing at the other as if hoping they wouldn't have to be the one to 
start.
	"I guess today didn't go so well." Tenchi finally said, breaking the 
silence.
	Now that the topic was broached both girls were practically tripping over 
themselves to be the first to talk. It was virtually impossible to make out what 
either was saying.
	"...and she..."
	"...but she..."
	"...and now I don't have a job!" both of them finished.
	The rest of the group sweatdropped.
	"Well, I can't say that I caught most of that, but the end result was 
clear." Lee sighed.
	Smiling, Tenchi tried to reassure them. "It's okay. I'm sure we'll all 
find work soon."
	The girls looked at each other uncomfortably, but said nothing. Eventually 
they sat down without saying another word.
	"Don't know about anyone else, but I'm starving." So saying Michael got up 
to grab something. Everyone but Ayeka and Ryoko followed suit. "Hey, let's see 
what's happening in the universe." Michael flipped the TV on to the news before 
sitting back down.

	On screen the anchor seemed excited about something. "...this late breaking
story we take you live to Wink Dinkerson."
	"Thanks, Shay." The reporter was standing near a smoldering crater 
surrounded by buildings. In the background moaning could be heard from many 
people on stretchers clutching at their midsections. "I'm standing in front of 
what was once J7's 'Italian Eatery'. It seems that the J7 commercial platform 
has been host to strange doings all day. The main sources of the disturbances 
being Mercurio's Fine Fast Food and the Italian Eatery."
	"Sources say that trouble started early in the day with complaints at both 
restaurants about the quality of the food. This is unusual as these rival 
business are both known for the quality of the their cuisine."
	The reporter's last statement was punctuated as an EMT in the background 
was heard to say "What did they put in that food?"
	Mr. Dinkerson continued his report without noticing. "Things only worsened 
from there as both businesses received surprise inspections from the local 
Bureau of Health. Both received multiple citations, and were ordered to have 
things ship-shape by evening or have their licenses revoked."
	"There are unconfirmed reports that after this actual fighting broke out 
between the businesses. For what reason no one can be entirely certain. At 
approximately 4:30p.m. the Italian Eatery," Wink motions to the crater behind 
himself, "was consumed in a blast which has since been blamed on an electrical 
fault. Thankfully no one was killed in the blast as patrons and staff evacuated 
moments before the explosion. Sadly, the owner of the restaurant, sixty-seven 
year old, grandfather of four, Charles Jones died of a massive coronary upon 
seeing his business reduced to a smoking hole."
	"We were able to get a word with the owner of Mercurio's Fine Fast Food, 
Mercurio Tyson, earlier."
	The scene cut to prerecorded footage of a man in his late thirties being 
restrained by police and medical personnel. "THE OLD BASTARD GOT THE LAST LAUGH! 
He may have died, but I have to deal with the lawsuits from all the customers 
that spiky-haired bitch poisoned! Damn you, Jones! DAMN YOU!" The footage ends 
as the man is forced into the back of an ambulance.
	We cut back to Wink Dinkerson who is shaking his head sadly. He snapped 
back to professionalism as he realized he's back on the air. "Mr. Tyson is 
currently under psychiatric supervision..."

	The others slowly turn to Ayeka and Ryoko.
	Michael looks sharply at Ayeka. "...an electrical fault?" 
	"...spiky-haired?" Alex raised an eyebrow as she looked at Ryoko's hair.
	"Girls!" Tenchi seemed shocked. "Tell me it wasn't you."
	Ayeka and Ryoko just laughed weakly.
	Lee took it upon himself to state the obvious. "It was."
	No longer feeling very hungry, Tenchi and the crew left with a groan. Now 
alone, Ryoko and Ayeka hung their heads and let out a defeated sigh.
	"Maybe fast food wasn't the best idea." Ryoko muttered.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	Lee entered his room intending to retrieve his phonebook. Since want ads 
had failed he decided to go about his job hunt the hard way: call every place he 
can think of and beg for work. Well that was his intention, but then he heard 
the email alert sound from his computer. "Well, guess I can spare a minute."
	After sorting through various advertisements and chain letters he eventual 
came to something he didn't delete immediately.

	Mr. Jeffries,

	It has come to my attention that your are possessed of certain skills and 
	resources that would make you valuable addition to my research firm. If 
	you are interested please contact me, and we can discuss possible terms of 
	employment.

	"Guess I shouldn't have been so impatient" he said to himself and sent an 
affirmative reply. 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	Seeing as the evening was still young Alex had decided to snag Michael to 
help her with some system debugging. To that end they had spent the last hour 
huddled over various monitors on the bridge. It was a slow and laborious 
process, so it's not really any wonder that they reacted badly when their 
loafing leader came strolling in whistling like an overly cheerfully dwarf after 
one too many triple espressos.
	Alex rounded on him, practically snarling "What are YOU so happy about, 
Dopey?"
	Ignoring her tone he just grinned a bit wider. "Seems that I may of just 
found a job... or should that be the other way 'round..."
	"WHAT!?" his crewmates replied in shock.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	Meanwhile, out in the hallway, the girls were cooperating in an attempt to 
get back into Tenchi's good graces. Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted 
it was a nice change of pace from them fighting to get into his pants.
	"Tenchi, it really wasn't our fault," Ryoko protested.
	"Exactly right, Miss Ryoko," Ayeka agreed. " We were only trying to earn 
the money needed to get home."
	Tenchi turned a stony stare on them. "Why fast food? Why any food related 
job?"
	The girls turned to each other trying to figure out who would field this 
one. Eventually, through a process Tenchi couldn't quite figure out, Ayeka was 
elected. "Well, you see Lord Tenchi... well, I can only really speak for myself on 
this... uh, hrm, I was hoping that I could learn how to cook while earning money."
	Ryoko nodded her agreement.
	Sighing with exasperation Tenchi decided to move on. "And what about the 
poor old man who died?"
	"Hey! Don't go blaming use for that." Ryoko actually seemed to get a bit 
angry over this.
	Ayeka on the other hand looked like she was about to cry. "L-lord Tenchi, 
I fail to see why you would seek to place responsibility for his death on us."
	"He had a heart attack because you two blew up his restaurant! His little 
grandkids are probably crying their eyes out." In the face of this accusation 
both Ryoko and Ayeka were sniffling and fighting back tears. "I'm sorry. I 
shouldn't have said it like that..."
	Tenchi was wondering how he could make up for this slip of the tongue when 
his salvation erupted from a room just to his left. "WHAT!?" Distracted by the 
sudden outburst they ran onto the bridge.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	Tenchi and he girls entered the bridge to see Michael and Alex staring in 
disbelief at Lee. Lee on the other hand was grinning like an idiot. "I said 'I 
may of just found a job.' I got an..." He was distracted by the com which was 
blinking to indicate an incoming call. "Wow, that was quick." He walked over and 
answered the call, bringing it up on the main screen.
	The group was met with an image of a woman who's age was a little hard to 
determine. Her features were sharp and her clothing businesslike. Her pale face 
was framed by raven black hair. She looked at them with a sharp, weighing gaze 
from behind a pair of small glasses which were perched on her nose. If she 
didn't look so stern one might have thought her pretty.
	"Mr. Jeffries" she said in an even tone.
	"Yes, that..." Lee began, but was cut short by an outburst from the peanut 
gallery.
	"Mom!?" Everyone turned to look at the red-haired crewmember.
	"Yes, Alexandria?" The woman asked.
	Michael turned and looked at the screen, then back at Alex, he repeated 
this a few more times before saying, "...but you don't look anything alike."
	Everyone ignored him.
	Ms. Samson turned back to Lee. "It has come to my attention that your crew 
is looking for employment."
	"And just how did you hear that?" Alex asked with some anger.
	Ms. Samson continued without acknowledging her daughter's question. "My 
research firm is rather interested in the unique opportunity that your station's 
current contingent offers. If you would be willing to work with us we'd offer 
considerable compensation."
	"Hold it! You want us to work for you!" Alex had passed angry and was 
rapidly approaching livid.
	"As I understand it, the current lack funding is actually your doing, 
Alexandria." Ms. Samson turned a disapproving gaze on Alex. Alex staggered back 
a step as though she had been physically struck. "You should be grateful I'm 
willing to step in and help you, ungrateful child."
	Alex regained her footing as the last statement brought forth a hereto 
unknown, by the other residents of the Contrivance at least, level of rage. 
"What?" Her voice was quite, but held a promise of retribution that made Lee 
break out in a cold sweat. " You just are using that as an excuse to gain 
leverage for something you want. If you were really so concerned about me you'd 
give or loan us the money, manipulative old bat!" Her face had contorted into a 
mask of fury.
	Ms. Samson's professionalism complete evaporated, and now she wore an 
expression that matched her daughter's. "How dare you!"
	Michael chose the exact wrong moment to make his next statement. "Okay,
now I see the resemblance."
	Both Samsons whirled towards him level the full weight of their wrath
upon him. "SHUT UP!!!" 
	Everyone else sweatdropped.
	Ms. Samson turned back to Alex. "You have a lot of nerve saying anything 
like that to me. You couldn't even be bothered to send your poor mother a card 
for Mother's Day."
	"YOU didn't deserve one! At least I called you!" Alex retorted.
	Everyone else just looked at each other.
	Tenchi whispered, "Wow, they're sure not bashful with their comments."
	"Do you get the feeling they've completely forgotten we're here?" Lee asked quietly.
	"That is probably for the best." Everyone nodded in agreement with Ayeka.
	Alex continued her tirade. "What kinda mother forgets her child's birthday 
THREE YEARS IN A ROW!"
	Tenchi winced.
	Michael shook his head. "That's just cold."
	"Maybe we should give them some privacy," Ryoko said.
	Deciding that wasn't such a bad idea they left so Alex and her mom could 
continue their shouting match in private.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	"Well at least the comment Alex made about her mother during the last MST 
makes sense now." Michael leaned against the wall.
	Lee looked up from his seat on the hallway floor. "Somehow I doubt she's 
going to hire us now."
	The five had retreated down the hall a ways, but they could still hear 
some of the more choice profanity that came from the bridge.
	"And I thought my mother was bad..." Ayeka and Ryoko said in unison, 
prompting them to look at each other and blink.
	The noise from down the hall died, and they turned to see Alex emerge from 
the bridge. She was so angry her hair was practically standing on end. As she 
stalked down the hall none of her anger seemed to have abated.
	Lee found himself pulled to his feet and thrust forward as the others 
literally tried to hide behind him. With no alternative he stood calmly awaiting 
death.
	"The bitch wants to talk to you." Alex said as she walked right by without 
breaking stride.
	The four hiding breathed a sigh of relief. Lee on the other hand gulped 
loudly and then started walking to face the elder Samson.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	"You want to hire us to do an MST?" Lee asked of the woman on screen. She 
had regained her air of cool professionalism.
	"That's correct Mr. Jeffries. We wish to employ you and the others on your 
station to review fan fiction. On a purely temporary basis of course."
	"Of course." Lee nodded.
	"We will also pay you for the use of the stations facilities."
	"May I consult the others before I give you my answer?"
	"Certainly," she agreed.
	"One more question." Lee hesitated.
	"What is it?"
	"I know this may be a sore topic, but does your offer extend to Alex?"
	"Alexandria has agreed to take the position of projectionist," Ms. Samson answered.
	"Oh, good. Well then I'll just go run this by the others."
	"That won't be necessary." Lee turned towards the doorway where Tenchi, 
Ryoko, Ayeka, and Michael were standing.
	"We except your offer," Ayeka stated. The others nodded.
	"Very good. Welcome to Samson & Masters Research." Ms. Samson said with a
small, humorless smile.
	"Great when do we start?" Tenchi inquired.
	"Immediately. Alexandria should already have the theater prepared."
	"Well, what are waiting for? The nights not getting an younger and neither 
are we." Michael was grinning, but then so was everyone else on the bridge.
	"Let's go!" Lee yelled.
	They ran off towards the theater with a cheer.
	
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CASEFILE #2
The newest employees of S&M Research view:

	Cuz I Got High

Here comes the pain.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The seating order from left to right is Michael, Lee, Ryoko, Tenchi, and Ayeka. Alex is
in the projection booth.

>Hilde: Oh dear god no, Smooth just changed his name and has decided to start out 
>his new life as a fanfic artist with a Songfic Mega X-over. You have been warned 
>(Run away, please
>run away!)

Lee: Thanks for the warning, but if we run we don't get paid.
Tenchi: The author's own character is warning us to leave... I've suddenly got a 
	very bad feeling about this.

>Airstrike: Hey Hilde! What are you saying to the readers?<?xml:namespace prefix 
>= o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Michael (crosses himself): Protect us from the unholy powers of the Win-tel 	Empire.
(Everyone shudders.)

>Hilde: Oh um.nothing.

Ayeka (Hilde): I am not saying anything remotely like HTML code.
Lee: I think that was just a transmission error.

>Airstrike: Damn well better, make me a steak.

Ryoko: Mo betta butta.
(Everyone else sweatdrops.)

>(Hilde growls and goes to the kitchen)

Tenchi: What is she? A dog.
Ryoko (Hilde, crazed): You want a steak? I'll give ya a stake. Just let me find
 	a hammer to help me drive it through your still beating heart.
(Everyone else cringes.)
Michael: Come on. It's not that bad.

>Cuz' I Got High
>
>                                                   A Mega X-over Songfic 

Michael: Then again I could be wrong.

>(Cue opening music)
>
>Tenchi: It's like I don't care about nothing man...roll another blunt.

(Everyone blinks.)
Tenchi: You have _got_ to be kidding me.

>(Tenchi takes the joint from Gendo and begins to blaze away)

Ayeka: Who?
Lee: Just a guess, but I think it's supposed to Gendo Ikari from Neon Genesis 
	Evangelion. It's kinda hard to tell through all the smoke.

>Matt and Tai: Oooh oooh ooh (Tenchi blazes away) La-da-da-da-da-da la-da-da-

Ryoko (singing): He rode a blazing saddle. He wore a bright tin star!
Alex (from the booth): I take it they've been watching some of your collection,
 	Lee.
Lee: How'd you guess?

>daaaaaaaa! (Coughs) La-da-da-da.la-da-da-da. la-da-da-daaaaaa! 

Michael: *hack* Damn smog.

>Vegeta: Damn that's some strong shit.

Tenchi (as Cheech): You mean we're smoking dog shit?
(Michael and the girls stare at him in shock.)
Tenchi: What?
Ayeka (to Lee): You are a bad influence, do you know that?
(Lee laughs nervously.)

>Tenchi: I wasn't going to go to that cave, until I got high (ooh ooh), I wasn't 
>gonna release Ryoko, but then I got high. 

Michael: Ryoko. I'm surprised you're not angry at Tenchi after that line.
Ryoko: If the last MST taught me anything it's not to blame Tenchi for what some 
	baka writes.
Lee: Or it could just be that destroying two businesses today took a lot out of 
	her.
(Ryoko uppercuts Lee sending him flying up out of his seat. She then teleports 
above him, and kicks him back down into his seat before teleporting back to her 
own chair.)
The crumpled heap that once was Lee (in obvious pain): Note to self, don't say 
things like that when I'm sitting right next to Ryoko.

>(Uh La-da-da-da-da-da-da) Now
>I'm living with six girls and I know why! 
>
>Tai, Matt, and Davis: Why man?

Lee (still battered): Karma?
Tenchi: Fate?
Michael: Because it's in the script?
Ryoko: Because it's fun?
Ayeka: Because Mr. Masaki doesn't know how to tell a woman 'no'?
Everyone else (to Ayeka): You win.

>Tenchi: Yeah-ah!  Because I got high, because I got high, because I got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!

Tenchi, Ayeka, and Ryoko (deadpan): No.

>Heero: I wasn't going to blow myself up, before I got high.

Tenchi: Heero Yuy?
Michael: You know him?
Tenchi: I used to watch the show back home.

>Kari: Come on y'all check it out.

Ryoko: I'm sorry ma'am. This is the express isle, twelve items or less.
Ayeka: But all I have is a box of detergent and a dozen eggs.
Ryoko: Right. That's thirteen items. Next!

>Heero: I wasn't gonna Self Destruct, but then I got high (Uh-Uh La-da-da-da-da-
>da-da)
>
>Now I'm laying here in traction and I know why! 

Michael: The MDPCCC(tm) blew up again?
Alex (screaming in the booth): HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU IT DIDN'T 
	BLOW UP!?!?
Ayeka: Do you really think it is wise to antagonize her now?
Michael: You may have a point.
(Lee sits upright completely healed, and straightens his glasses.)

>Tai, Matt, and Tenchi: Why man?

Ryoko and Lee: Why not? (Stare at each other in surprise. Then shrug and go back 
	to watching the fic.)

>Heero: Yeah-ah! Cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiigh. 

Tenchi: Good falsetto.

>Shinji: Go to the next one go to the next one go to the next one.

Ryoko: Uh oh. I think the record's stuck.

>(Kari makes an obscure chicken noise)

Tenchi: How obscure was it?
Lee: So obscure that only two guys in Muncie get it.
Tenchi: Now that's obscure.

>Gendo: I was going to try to be nice, but then I got high

Michael and Lee (turn to each other with unreadable expressions): Yeah. Right.

> (Uh ooh ooh), I was 
>going to respect my son, but I got high (S'Yeah, Uh-uh La-da-da-da-da-da),
>Shinji caused the Third Impact, and I know why! 
>
>Tai, Heero, and Tenchi: Why man?

Michael: Because Gendo's a heartless prick.
Tenchi: Yikes. What brought that on?
Michael: You don't understand. There is actually a site out there detailing the 
	reasons why Gendo Ikari is Satan.
Ryoko: Okay, that is bad.
Michael: Actually, I think that's being unfair to him.
Ayeka: Yes, I think saying someone is the devil is rather cruel.
Michael: I meant it was being unfair to Satan.

>Gendo:  Yeah-ah!  Because I got high, because I got high, because I got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!
>
>Davis: I was going to win Kari's heart, before I got high (ooh ooh), she woulda 
>been my girlfriend, but then I got high.
>
>Kari (wasted): No you wouldn't.

All the guys: Ouch. 

>Davis: Now Kari's fucking T.K, and I know why!

Lee: WHAT?

>Matt and Tai: WHAT?

Lee: That's what I said.
Ayeka: An indirect lemon? That is repugnant.
Ryoko: It's better than us having to suffer through a detailed one.
Ayeka: That is true, Miss Ryoko.

>Davis:  Yeah-ah!  Because I got high, because I got high, because I got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!
>
>(Davis laughs his ass off while Tai and Matt beat the shit out of T.K)

Ryoko: Don't take it out on him.
Ayeka: Yes, save it for the author. 

>Ayeka: 

Ayeka: Never mind. I will do it myself.

>I wasn't going to sleep with Tenchi, but I was high 

(Ryoko falls out of her chair laughing. Everyone else but Ayeka is fighting off 
the giggles.)
(Ayeka's left eye starts to twitch.)

>(Uh, I'm serious 
>man), I was going to back off and say no, but I was high.

Ryoko (gets back into her chair wiping tears from her eyes and still laughing):
 	HAHA yeah. *snort* right.
(Ayeka grimaces, and shakes with the effort she's exerting to remain calm.)

>Tenchi, Gendo, and Shinji: La-da-da-da-da-da-da!
>
>Ayeka: Now I'm a mother of twins, and I know why!

(Ayeka blinks in surprise.)
(Ryoko suddenly stops laughing.)
Ryoko: This isn't funny anymore.
(Ayeka smirks, while Tenchi looks upwards silently praying that they don't start
fighting with him sitting between them.)

>Ryoko and Kari: Why Girl?
>
>Ayeka: Yeah-ah!  Because I got high, because I got high, because I got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!

Michael: That's even more absurd than the idea of Tenchi smoking.
Tenchi: This whole thing's absurd.

>Suzuka: I knew Gene wasn't going to win, before I got high,
>
>Davis and Shinji: Say what say what?

Lee: What.
(Everyone else groans.) 

>Suzuka: (ooh ooh) I wasn't going to bet on the OLS, but then I got high (Uh-Uh 
>La-da-da-da-da-da-da).
>
>Suzuka: Now I'm giving lap dances for cash, and I know why!

Ayeka: That... is just sad.

>Davis and Ryoko: Why Su?

Ryoko: No. It's too easy.

>Suzuka: Yeah-ah!  Because I got high, because I got high, because I got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!
>
>Shinji: Hey bitch bounce on my lap! I got a twenty!

Tenchi: Just when I thought this couldn't get anymore OOC... 

>Shinji (while receiving lap dance he sings to Asuka): I was going to make love 
>to you, but then I got high (mumbles randomly), I was going to nail Rei too, 
>(receives
>howls of laughter from others) but then I got hiiiiigh, now I'm whacking off, 
>and I know why!

(Michael laughs so hard he not only falls out of his seat, he eventually passes 
out.)
Ayeka (worried): Is he alright?
Lee: He's still breathing, so I'd say yes.

>Asuka and Rei (who are unusually close): Turn this shit off!

Everyone in the theater but Michael: Sounds good to us.
Alex (from the booth): If I do we don't get paid.
Everyone else: Never mind.

>Shinji: Yeah-ah!  Because I got high, because I got high, because I got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!

(Michael comes to and reclaims his seat.)

>Vegeta (While hearing cheers of "Go" from Gendo and Tenchi): 

Tenchi: Oh, great. He's hallucinating.
Ryoko (stoned junky): Whoa, I can hear God, man, and he says he's got the
 	munchies too.
(The others stare nervously at Ryoko.)
Ryoko (shrugs): It was the best I could think of.
Ayeka: I suggest next time you just let it pass.

>I was going to kick 
>Cell's ass, but then I got high (go go!), I was going to finish him off,
>but then I got high, he ascended and kicked my ass, and I know why!
>
>Tenchi and a revived T.K: Why man?

Tenchi: Fate?
Ayeka: Because it's in the script?
Ryoko: Because he's a wimp?
Michael: Because he was too short to reach?
Lee: Karma. Definitely karma.

>Vegeta: Yeah-ah!  Because I got high, because I got high, because I got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!

Ayeka: Well, that may have had a hand in it as well.

>Tenchi, Shinji and Gendo: We're gonna stop singing this song, because we're 
>high.

(Everyone cheers.)

>Everybody else: Raise the roof, baby! Yeah!

Michael (singing): Tear the roof off. We gonna tear off motha, sucka. Tear the
 	roof off the sucka.

>Heero, Ayeka and Suzuka: We're singing this whole thing wrong, because we're 
>high.

Tenchi (to Lee): Are they?
Lee: How should I know?

>Everybody else: Bring it back bring it back baby!

Ryoko: Let's not and say we did.
Ayeka: Better sill, let us simply not.

>Kari, Daisuke and Ryoko: And if we died on the spot right now, we'll know why!
>
>Asuka, Matt, Tai and Rei: Why is that?

Ayeka: Perhaps an overdose of stupidity?

>Everybody: Yeah-ah! 

Tenchi (stunned): Wow. They admit it.

>Because we got high, because we got high, because we got 
>hiiiiigh.La-da-da-da-da-da-da!
>
>(The songs end with everybody making loud random noises)

Tenchi: Huh? It's over already?
Michael: Yeah. Songfics are usually short.
Ryoko: Well that was an easy way to earn some cash.
Lee: Wait. We still go the author's notes to deal with.

>(Hilde looked at the script and sighed while Airstrike ate his steak, then her 
>eyes widened)

Ayeka (as Hilde): It is even more terrible than I had imagined.

>Hilde: Smooth, I mean Airstrike, why did you write this?

Ryoko: Must have been something he smoked...uh, I mean ate.

>Airstrike (with mouth full): Cuz I wanted to, why?
>
>Hilde (sweatdrops): Never mind, and don't talk with your mouth full.

Lee: Poor writing and bad manners *tsk* *tsk*.

>Airstrike: Oh, sorry babe, can you do the Disclaimer for me?

Tenchi: Shouldn't this of come at the beginning? 

>Hilde: Yeah, and don't call me babe. (Faces the reader, yeah you) This is a long 
>one, but I'll try, Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko are all proudly owned by the
>almost god-like AIC and Pioneer; Heero, Suzuka, the OLS and myself are owned by 
>the greatest Anime Company of all time, Sunrise; Gendo Ikari, Shinji Ikari,
>Asuka Langley, and Rei Ayanami are property of the third greatest Anime Company 
>Gainaxx, Yamato (Matt), Taichi (Tai), Hikari (Kari), Daisuke (Davis), and
>Takeru (T.K) as well as Vegeta are property of the second greatest Anime company 
>Toei; and lastly, the song "Cuz I got high" is property of  Afro Man and
>well, whatever record label owns his ass.

Ryoko: Doesn't matter who owns the rest of him, just his ass.
Michael: She got that all out in one breath. I'm impressed.

>Airstrike (finishes his steak): Good, thanks Hilde take a break. 

(Everyone watches as, on screen, Hilde staggers and falls to the ground 
unconscious due to oxygen deprivation.)
Michael: Okay, now I'm not nearly as impressed as I was a second ago.

>(Looks at 
>audience) Yo, if you have flames, 

Tenchi: Check.

>compliments,

Ryoko: You wish.

>ideas,

Ayeka: As if anyone in their right mind would give you perfectly good ideas to
 	screw up.

>or if you want to kill me 
>for my
>purposeful T.K bashing, 

Lee: And what purpose did it serve?
Michael: I don't really care, but killing him sounds good.

>email me at Sawdust28@hotmail.com, L8er.

(Everyone notices Hilde get up and advance on the author from behind with a 
large pickaxe.)
Alex (from the booth): Oh, this is going to be sweet.
(Everyone else sweatdrops.)

>Hilde: One more thing! (Slaps Airstrike upside the head) Don't do drugs.

Ayeka: Go Hilde!
Alex (from the booth): Awww... She used the blunt side.
Everyone else (pales at Alex's comment): ...
Tenchi: Well, I guess that's it.
Lee: Then let's go.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	They all got up to leave, but before they can get to the doors Alex called 
down to them. "Guys, I've got some bad news."
	Lee looked up at her. "What is it, Alex?"
	"There's another fic."
	"Oh well, I guess that would have been too easy." Lee sighed. "We'll break 
for food and other necessities then get back to it."
	All the others nodded approval. Well, all of them except for Alex. "I 
wouldn't do that if I were you," she warned.
	"And why not?" Ryoko asked.
	"When you agreed to do this you became employees of my mother's firm," 
Alex explained. "As such your subject to it standard terms of employment."
	"Meaning what exactly?" Michael asked.
	"Anyone who leaves before the assigned work is finished doesn't get paid."
	Tenchi stared at her. "You're kidding."
	"Afraid not."
	"Well, then let's finish it so we can get out of here." Lee turned to go 
back to his seat. After a bit of grumbling the others joined him.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CASEFILE #2 Part 2
The Search for More Money or

	The Semi-Normal Day For Tenchi

Another fic, another dollar.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

>                       The Semi-Normal Day For Tenchi

Tenchi: These days I'm having trouble defining normal, so what exactly would 
this author mean by semi-normal?
Ayeka: My sister being her sweet, lovable, hard-working self by prepare a small 
feast for everyone.
Ryoko: Ryo-oh-ki keeping her company, and Washu doing something best left alone 
in her lab.
Michael: Your dad off working to feed a VERY large household, and your grandpa 
tending the shrine or training you.
Alex (from the booth): Yet another alien showing up at your place, and going 
completely undetected by the locals.
Lee: You trying to survive another Tug-o-Tenchi war between Ayeka and Ryoko, or 
ducking and running as they level anything within a three hundred foot radius.
Ayeka (to Ryoko): Do you wish to do it or shall I?
Ryoko: I did it last time, so I guess it's your turn, Princess. Here.
(Ryoko grabs Lee by the front of his shirt and toss him over Tenchi at Ayeka. 
Ayeka activates her shield, and Lee bounces off of it. Of course he absorbed a 
few thousand volts in doing so. He flies through the air before crashing down 
into the isle way. It sounded a little something like this.)
Lee: What?! Hey, stop! Whoaaa!! *KAZAAZAAA...* Ayayayayayayyayay!!!  *...AZAP!* 
	Oohhhh poooopiiieee! *CRASH*
Tenchi: GIRLS!
Ryoko: Sorry, Tenchi.
Ayeka: Sorry, Lord Tenchi.
Tenchi: *sigh* Hey, Lee, are you alright?
Lee (still smoking, and unmoving except for his right foot which twitches every 
	so often): ...ow...
Michael: Yeah, he's fine.
Lee: Thanks, Mike. You're all heart.
Michael: DON'T CALL ME MIKE!

>It was a semi normal day at the residence of the Maski's,

Ryoko: Maski?
Tenchi: Don't look at me. I don't know anyone by that name.

> well as normal as
>it ever gets there.
>"Ryoko! You bitch! How dare you do that to Lord Tenchi!" yelled the bitch
>princess.

Ayeka: I already HATE this story.
(Lee gets up and readjusts his glasses before going back to his seat. He's still 
smoking.)
(Alex is sitting in the booth reading a book entitled 'Japanese the Easy Way.' 
Noticing an odd smell she sniffs the air.)
Alex (puts gown her book and starts to go to the booth's window): Hey, who's 
eating smoked turkey, and how'd you get it?
(She looks out the window to see Lee glaring at her with faint trails of smoke 
coming off of him. The others are trying hard not to laugh. Okay, Tenchi's the 
only one trying, the others are laughing so loud they can't even hear the fic.)
Lee (to Alex): We're going to have a nice, long talk after this is over.
Alex (quietly): Aw crap...

>"Well at least i have the guts to!" Ryoko countered "Besides princess why
>would you care? Did you want to give tenchi his first blow job?" Ryoko
>laughed.

(The theater goes silent.)
Ayeka (deadpan): What?
Michael: Someone's been reading Aikan Muyo.
Ayeka (glaring at Michael): Did you say something?
Michael: N-n-nothing, Princess Ayeka.
Ryoko (smiling cheerfully at Michael): You can tell me after the fic.
(Tenchi says another prayer.)

>"Take this MONSTER!" Ayeka yelled 

Ryoko (little girl): But I don't want a monster, I want a puppy.

>andfires electricity from the logs that
>are floating around her. Ryoko dodged and the bolt struck a hole in the wall
>just above tenchis head.Ryoko fired a palm blast but ayeka disaapaated it
>with her shield.

Lee (finally healed): How can _anything_ strike a hole? I could see it striking 
the wall and making a hole, but striking a hole...
Tenchi: ...tenchis? ...ayeka? ...disaapaated?
Ayeka: That is quite a large number of mistakes for one line.
Ryoko: A _palm_ blast? I do not fire tree!
(Everyone pauses for a second, and start laughing at the mental images of Ryoko 
shooting palm tree out of her hands.)

>Tenchi was just droppy in a chair.

Ayeka: I believe the author meant to write droopy.
Ryoko (as Droopy): Hello all you happy people.
(Ayeka, Alex, Lee, and Tenchi stare nervously at Ryoko.)
Lee: First Mr. Rogers and now Droopy?
Michael (to Ryoko): You still need a bit of work. You sounded more like Sleepy.

>HIs pants bagged, his shirt bagged, his
>eyes bagged. He was just plain tired.

Lee (to Tenchi): Bet this all seems familiar.
Tenchi: Yeah. Actually it does.
(Ryoko and Ayeka turn on him in obvious anger.)
Tenchi: I meant the tiredness, not the fight or any of the other stuff.
(The girls look like he just made them angrier.)
Tenchi (panicking): I mean from working in the fields and things like that. You 
	know it wears me out sometimes.
(Ayeka calms down. Ryoko calms a little but seems somewhat sad.)
Ryoko: Tenchi, I know you work hard, but you'd still have to do field work even 
	if Ryo-oh-ki and I weren't around.
Tenchi (panicking even worse now): No! I don't mean it like that! I know that! I 
	don't blame you or her.
Ryoko (hopefully): Really?
Tenchi (finally relaxes): Yes, really.
(Ayeka looks on jealously, but says nothing.)

>+Flash Back+
>Tenchi was haveing a strange dream about water falls. 

(Everyone fidgets a little in their seats.)
Tenchi: I suddenly feel an urge to use the restroom...
Lee: You're not the only one. I wish I hadn't drank so much pop earlier.

>The he starts the feel
>wierd. He wakes up to find Ryoko just help her self to his cock.

(Ayeka starts to flush in anger.)
Tenchi: ...what if the fic's Tenchi was affected by those waterfalls the same way we were? 
(Ayeka no longer seems angry. More like disgusted.)
Everyone: ...urk
Ryoko: Th-that's sick!
(Tenchi nods.)
Ayeka: Lord Tenchi, for the sake of everyone involved, please refrain from 
	making comments that might make us vomit.
Tenchi: Right.

>"Ryoko! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!" screamed Tenchi.

Lee: I'd riff this bit, but after Tenchi's last one it'd just be too sick.
Ryoko: That and I'd pound you into the floor like a nail.

>"OH Hi Tenchi!" Ryoko said cheerfully "Dont worry ill be done in a minute"

Michael: That is if I can figure out how to work this thing.
(Everyone but Ryoko is giggling.)

>"AHHH! NO YOU DONE NOW!" Tenchi yeled 

Tenchi: Why does the author have me talking like a gangsta?
Ayeka: ...and how does one "yeled"?

>as he placed is feet on her chest and catapulter

Lee (staring at the screen): Whoa! Kinky.
Ryoko: I'm not sure if I should hurt you or not.
Ayeka: I, on the other hand, am certain.
(One of Ayeka's shield units comes flying from behind Lee, striking him in the 
back of the head. It hits him so hard he flips over the back of the seat in 
front of him before landing on the ground with a thud.)
Ayeka: My, that was far more effective than I thought it would be.
(Everyone else sweatdrops.)
Tenchi (leans forward to check on Lee): Are you alright?
Lee: ...
Tenchi: He's out cold.
Michael (sarcastic): That's just great. Now he won't have to suffer with the
 	rest of us.
Ayeka: Um, whoops...

>her through the wall. Straight into Aykeas room. It didnt take

Tenchi: There is no way I'm strong enough to send anyone through a wall.
Ayeka: Should we even bother to keep pointing out the spelling and grammatical 
	errors in this fic?
Michael: No, but don't let that stop you.

>the bitch princess long to  peices together to scene.
>+End Flash back+
>"2 straight hours" Nobiuki whistled. "Thats gotta be a record or something."
>"Nah" Kyona answered, "The gotta go 5 hours to bet the record." as he popped
>another peice of popcormn in her mouth.
>"Wanna put a little wager on the fight?" Nobiuki asked the audinces.

(Everyone sweatdrops.)
Tenchi: I'm suddenly reminded of our last MST.
Michael: Just a coincidence I'm sure. Betting is common.

>"5 bucks on Akea" Sasami said!
>"Your outta you mind, 5 bucks on Ryoko" Said Kyona.
>"10 bucks says they fight for 6 hours then one of um blast the other
>strqaight through the wall and we have to rush her to the hospital" said
>Tenchi.

(Everyone bigsweats.)
Ryoko: You still think so?
Michael (obviously uncertain): W-wel-ll it, it could be.

>At first he was only kidding but come 4 hours later.

Ayeka: I still cannot believe your father placed that wager, Lord Tenchi.
Tenchi: I still can't believe he won.

>"I've had enough bitch princess!!" Ryoko says and cupped her hands bye her
>side. "Final Beam Blast!" Ryoko yelled nad fired the attack at Ayeka. The

(Lee suddenly bolts up from the ground seemingly unhurt.)
Lee: She yelled WHAT?!
Ryoko: "Final Beam Blast" (shakes her head) Man that sounds so lame.
Lee: Better than what I thought I heard when I came to.
Michael: I'm afraid to ask, but what did you think you heard?
Lee(grimacing): Ryoko yelled nad...

>attack ripped straight through her shield and blasted half the housesside
>off. Akeak lay in the ruin Battered, beatten, and unconious.

(Lee climbs over the row of seats to reclaim his chair.)
Lee: Well, this seems familiar.
Ayeka: We've already been over that.
Lee: Oh.

>"Strick three SHE OUT!" Ryoko yelled. 

Tenchi: Strick?
Ayeka: This fic is giving me such a headache.
Lee(glares at Ayeka and rub the bump on the back of his head): You ain't the 
	only one.

>The rest of the crew stared at Tenchi
>and Myoshi started to spill some hot coffee, 

Ryoko(as Myoshi): Oh, that's my cue. Better start spilling the coffee.
Tenchi: Why'd you imitate Mihoshi?
Ryoko: Best approximation I could think of.

>That she was pouring for
>tenchi, all over Tench's crotch.

(Everyone winces.)

>"HOLY FUCK MYOSHI STOP! YOU BURNING MY DICK GOD DAMNIT!"

Everyone: ...
Tenchi: I'd never talk to someone that way.
Ayeka: We know, Lord Tenchi.

>"Oh poor Tenchi!" said Ryoko phasing over to him. "Don't worry i clean you
>up" She said and began to lick the coffee off his pants.

Everyone: ...
Ryoko: I'd never do that. It's to degrading.
Tenchi: We know, Ryoko.

>"Ryoko....stop." Tenchi said looking down in disbelieve
>"Thats disturbing-" Said Kyona.

Michael: We agree... whoever you are.

>"GO TENCHI!" Nobiuki yelled

Ayeka: As he is not here to defend himself... (as Nobiuki... err, Noboyuki)
I would never do that.
(Everyone else just stares at her.)
Ayeka: What?

>Ryoko started to work the zipper of his pants.
>"Stop RYOKO!!" Tenchi yelled. But to late before Tenchi could pull away  She
>unzipped his and his mighty cock sprung out and slammed Ryoko in her face.

Lee (as doc): And how exactly did you break your nose, miss?
(Ryoko backhands Lee in the nose.)
Ryoko: Like that.
Lee: Dow, by nobe.

>"OH MY!" Sasami crie out.

Ayeka, Tenchi, Ryoko, & Michael: Leave her out of this perversion!

>"That has to be very-" Kyona started but she was interupted but Nobiuki

Aykea (as Kyona): ...OOC.
(Lee takes his hands away from his face. His nose looks fine.)

>"YAY, TENCHI! GIVE IT TO HER!" Nobiuki yelled "I'm so proud"
>"Ryoko, if you dont stop ill send you flying further then Ayeka." Tenchi
>said annoyed

Tenchi: Exactly when did I send Ayeka flying?
Lee: And if you're going to send Ryoko farther you must have some tremendous 
	hose pressure.
(Everyone else descends on Lee and beats the daylights out of him.)

>"But Tenchi I..." This was the first time Tenchi had ever threathened to
>actually hurt Ryoko.

(Everyone goes back to there seats leaving behind a grease splotch that may once 
have been Lee.)
Ryoko (smiling): I never get tired of pulverizing him.

>"NOW!" Tenchi yelled. Ryoko backed away and phased away. Tenchi stormed up
>into his room. 

Michael: He really should've tucked himself back into his pants.

> The rest of the gang went about with their business.

Ayeka: So no one even bothers to see if I am alirght?
Ryoko: Sucks to be you, princess.
Tenchi: Ryoko, please don't mention sucking during this fic.

>But in the living room through a certian hole a bitch said "Can some one
>help me" then died.

Everyone but Lee (shock): ...
(Ayeka cries.)
Michael: That is so cold.
(Tenchi tries to console Ayeka.)
Ryoko: Ayeka may not be my best friend...
Alex (from the booth, quietly): That's debatable.
Ryoko: ...but no one at home including me would just go around like nothing 
	happened if she was hurt. Let alone if she DIED!
Lee: Here! Here!
Everyone else: Gyah! When did you get better?
Lee: Just a second ago.

>+Later that day+

(Ayeka stops crying.)

>Nobiuki opened Tenchis bed room door. He saw him sitting on his bed.
>"Hey Tenchi just wanted  to tell you that Sasami's making dinner, and huh oh
>yea Ayeka died" Nobiuki said.

(Ayeka starts crying. Everyone tries to calm her.)

>"Cool" Tenchi answered plainly.

(Ayeka cries harder.)
Tenchi: That scum! Isn't what he's written about us bad enough already? Now he's 
	making us all out to be heartless monsters, and what's worse look what 
	he's done to Ayeka!
Ryoko: Ayeka, if we find him we'll all go together and kill him. Okay?
Ayeka (calms down): *sniffle* Thank you, Ryoko. (Wipes her eyes.) But if we did 
	that we would be nearly as bad as he makes us out to be.

>+Later that week+
>Tenchi was watching T.V. when he said "Hey, wheres Ayeka?"
>"Didn't she die?" Kyona said glued to the show they where watching.
>"Oh yea"

(Everyone glares at the screen.)
Michael: Hope you don't object if I say I wish he'd curl up and die, Ayeka.
Ayeka: No, I don't mind.

>He looked over at the corner of the room. Ryoko was floating in mid-air
>meditating. She had been really void of Tenchi lately. Anytime he would walk
>close to her she would phase away.
>She hadn't spoke to him since the living room incident.
>"Is it just me or is it kinda breezy in here?" Myoshi said.
>"Well we are kinda missing a wall now..." Tenchi said looking at Ryoko.
>"Thanks Ryoko" But when Tenchi looked back at ryoko she looked at him with
>sad eyes the phased away.

Lee: *sighes* Let's try and get back to work.
Tenchi: Right.

>+Later that Day+
>Tenchi was heading up the the attic, thats where ryoko sleeps, the see whats
>wrong with her. when he opened up the door Ryoko looked up at him then
>started to go through the floor.But tenchi caughter her hand and pulled her
>back up.

Tenchi: So I supposedly let the rest of her drop, just trying to hold onto her back?

>"Now wait a minute, you have been acting weird all week and i want to know
>why!" Tenchi said.
>"Isnt this what you wanted me to do, leave you alone?" Ryoko asked
>curiously.
>"No well alittle but not like this, 

Michael: Would you make up your mind.
Ryoko and Ayeka (looking at Tenchi): Yeah!
(Tenchi laughs nervously.)

>I want you to be my friend with out
>always  being so sexual. 

Ryoko (hopefully): So sometimes is good?
Tenchi: ...

>You know, i dont want to go to bed at night
>wondering if your gonna be attacked to my dick 

Michael: You know if thought my manhood might be attacked in the night, I don't 
	think I'd be able to sleep.
(Lee nods.)

>when I wake up. I want you to
>give me some personal space!"
>"I can help it! Its just tha- nevermind" She said
>"That what?"
>"Its..... uh ....I ...uh.I love you, and i want you to love me to!" She
>said, as soon as she said it she regreted it. *That was so stupid*
>"Well then ill have to give you what you want"Tenchi said.

Ayeka: This is so pathetic.
Tenchi: The plot or the grammar?
Ayeka: Both.

>"What?"
>But Tenchi lean forward and gave her a little kiss on her cheek, 

Tenchi: Hope it was as good for you as it was for me.
(Ryoko and Ayeka facefault.)
Ryoko (from the floor): He can't be that na‹ve.
Tenchi: Jeez, it was just a joke.
(The girls get back into their seats.)

>The he
>kissed her on her lips. his tongue shot into her mouth. 

(Michael imitates a gunshot.)
Lee: Careful that thing's loaded.
(The others groan.)

>His tongue explored
>the inside of Ryokos mouth. Ryoko's tongue met his and they entwined.

Ryoko (as Dark Helmet): Damn it! I hate it when my tongue gets twisted!
Michael (shaking his head): ...

>Finnaly tenchi broke the kiss. He reached around and pulled off her shirt
>revealuing her bra. Ryoko took off her bra and let it fall reavealing her
>soft bouncing breast. Tenchi grabbed one and began to message it. Then he
>pulled his shirt off and kissed Ryoko.
>"I love you Ryoko."

Ryoko (to Tenchi): Hope you don't really leave it for that late.
Ayeka: I hope he tells me instead.
(Tenchi says another prayer, this time for them not to beat on him.)

>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>So what did you think? 

Lee: It stank.

>This is my first short fan fic.

Michael: And, wow, does it show.

>Question?

Tenchi: How can you sleep at night?

>Comments?

Ryoko: You're not worth the effort.

>"I hate you I liked Ayeka" letters mail me at SSJKoran@aol.com

(Ayeka writes down the address.)
Lee: Okay, that fic hurt.
Others (massaging their temples): Need aspirin.
Lee: Agreed. Let's go.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	The weary group made their way towards the doors of the theater. Needs for 
food, painkillers, bathrooms, and eventually sleep weighed heavily upon them. 
Then a sound to be dreaded came down to them. Lee closed his eyes as if doing so 
could block out what he knew had to be coming.
	"Uh... guys..." Alex started hesitantly.
	"This had better not be what I think it is, Alex." Ryoko replied.
	Lee turned to her. " It's not her fault, Ryoko. There's another fic, 
Alex?"
	Alex looked down on them with an expression of pain, sympathy, and 
apology. "Afraid so. On the bright side you'll find some restrooms on the left 
side of the theater. We can break as long as we like and still get paid. It's 
just that no one can leave."
	"Alex, you've just redeemed yourself from the smoked turkey comment." Lee 
smiled up at her.
	"Since we cannot leave, would you please go and get some aspirin, Alex?" 
Ayeka asked.
	"And some food?" Michael added.
	"Sorry, but I'm under the same restrictions you are. I can't leave the 
booth." She sighed.
	Lee thought for a moment. "What about using the cleaning droids?" 
	Everyone else looked at him in surprise.
	"Hey, that's not a bad idea." Alex left the window to activate the bots.
	"Guess you're not a complete idiot after all."
	"Thanks, Michael. Thanks a whole heap." Lee answered sarcastically.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	One half-hour later everyone had tended most of their immediate needs, and 
were ready to start again.
	Hey Alex, how may more do we have to do?" Tenchi asked.
	"I'm not completely sure, but I think this is the last one," she answered.
	A small cheer burst forth from the theater.
	"Yeah. I thought that'd make you happy." Alex said as she flipped the 
switch to start what she hoped was the final fic.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CASEFILE #2 Part 3
The slaves of S&M Research view:

	Luckyest person in the world

When does the hurting stop?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

>Luckyest person in the world.

(Everyone stares at the screen in disbelief.)
Ryoko: This guy can't even spell his title properly.
Ayeka: Lord Tenchi, do we have any aspirin left?
Tenchi: Afraid not.
Ayeka: Oh poopie.

>Written by Marc "Eucep" Tuijtelaers.

Michael: Eucep?
Ryoko: Isn't that the sound you make during a really bad case of the hiccups?

>28 Oct. 01.

Ayeka: Is that supposed to be the date this author started writing, finished, or 
when this story takes place?
Alex (from the booth): Whoa guys, slow down. You haven't even reached the 
disclaimer yet.
(Everyone in the theater pauses as this sinks in.)
Lee: This one is really going to hurt isn't it?
Everyone else: Oh yeah.
Lee: I was afraid of that.

>Lemon, so no underage people here OK.

(Everyone cringes.)
Lee: Well, we've reached the disclaimer.
Tenchi (with is head in his hands): This just gets worse and worse.

>Oh and this is no claim of ownership, yadda yadda. 

Micheal: Yadda,yadda? Oh yeah. That will hold up in court.

>Yet I wonder if those 
>guys who came up with Tenchi Muyo, don't read these stories anyway. 

(Ayeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi look at one another uneasily.)
Tenchi: I'm still kinda uncomfortable with the idea that people think we're 
	fiction here.
(Ayeka and Ryoko nod.)

>This lemon 
>occurs in the TV series about three years after the last episode. 

Ryoko (to Michael and Lee): So about three years after you brought that part of 
us here, right?
Michael and Lee: Right.

>At this time 
>Sasami is 15. 

Michael: In other words she's still a minor.
(Everyone's jaws drop as they realize the implications of the last line.)
Tenchi: A S-s-s-sa-sasami LEMON!
Ayeka (bolts to her feet shaking her fist at the screen): WHY YOU SICK PERVERTED 
	MOT-<due to the extreme nature of the following obscenities the remainder 
	of Ayeka's comments have been deleted from this document.>
(Everyone sweatdrops and stares at the "prim" and "proper" princess in shock as 
she stands gasping for breath as she continues to glare at the screen.)
Lee (to Ayeka): You kiss your mother with that mouth?
(Ayeka runs over and decks Lee. He slumps, unconscious in his seat.)
Michael (hesitantly): Um, princess, you do know that now he won't have to suffer 
	with the rest of us.
Ayeka: I can fix that. (She lifts her foot high...)
Tenchi and Michael: Ayeka, don't!
(...and brings it down full force into Lee's groin.)
(Lee wakes up with a scream so hi-pitched it can't be heard by humans. The other 
men recoil away from the sight. Curling into a fetal position in their chairs.)
Ayeka: Next time, I suggest you think before opening your mouth.
(As Ayeka returns to her seat, Ryoko continues to stare at her in shock. After a 
minute the other guys recover enough to continue. Lee's still in too much pain.)

>Oh, and I don't give a darn if this story is very unrealistic 
>or if I mixed up realities). It's just a funny story.

Tenchi: When the author doesn't care about the details, that's a bad sign.

>Part one, Prelude: Sasami's new pet.

Ayeka (left eye twitching): ...pet...
Ryoko: Pedophilia and bestiality? (Her face goes a little green at the thought.)
Alex (from the booth): Guys, if you need them, there are sick bags under the 
	seats.
(Ryoko reaches under her chair and gets one of the puke pouches. She examines it 
for a second and then looks puzzled. The others, except Lee, stop to see what 
she's doing. She sniffs the bag, and then turns toward the booth with a 
grimace.)
Ryoko: Lemon scented?
Alex (from the booth): I thought it was funny.

>----
>
>Aeka had been down now for a few days with the flue. 

Tenchi: Flue?
Michael: Flue - a tube through which smoke, hot air, etc., is drawn off, as from 
	a furnace or stove.
Tenchi (sarcastic): Thank you, Mr. Exposition.

>(Thanks to her and 
>Ryoko fighting in the cold rain.) 

Ryoko and Ayeka: Hey, we do have the sense to come in out of the rain, you know!
Tenchi: And I have the repair bills to prove it.
(Ryoko and Ayeka glare at him.)
Tenchi: Uhhh, forget I said anything.

>We start in Aeka and Sasami's room.

Michael: From there we'll be making a circuit of the entire residence, and 
	eventual all the way to Tokyo! But before the marathon starts we'll break 
	for station identification.
Tenchi (in an announcers voice): Your listening to WMST, the voice of 
	Contrivance.

>Aeka: "Sasami? Would you please go into Washu's lab to check upon Ryu-oh?"
>
>Sasami: "Of course Onee-chan." She makes a small bow. "And when I'm back 
>I'll make some more chicken soup."

(Lee sits upright again. He looks unharmed.)

>A: "Thanks Sasami, that's very kind of you." <Yuck, even more chicken soup.> 
>As she looks at the empty bowl next to her bed. "Hopefully I'll be better 
>tomorrow."
>
>Sasami goes to Washu's laboratory. At the door.

Lee: At the door what?
Michael: It's a mystery.
Tenchi: Personally I think this story's more likely to be a tragedy.
Ayeka: More a like a travesty.

>S: "Little Washu? Could you please open the door to Ryu-oh? I have to check 
>upon it for Onee-chan."

Ryoko: S? What is writing out her full name to much trouble now?
Lee: It could be worse. He could use some meaningless symbol and refer to her as 
	the princess formerly known as Sasami.

>Washu's face appears on the door.

Tenchi (blinking): And now a serial killer has invaded the house.
Michael: Cutting off people's faces and sticking them to doors... that's pretty 
	twisted.
Ayeka: I would prefer a story about that, rather than a lemon starring my 
	sister.

>Washu: "I'll open the door for you to the tree nursery."
>
>S: "Thanks. Oh, Washu do you want to join us for dinner today? I'll make 
>your favourite."

Ryoko (as Washu): You can't have my "favourite"! I need that.

>W: She seems to ponder shortly. "Yeah, I'm nearly done with this new 
>invention so I'll join you all for dinner."

Lee: And now Hiccup can't be bothered to write out Washu's name.

>S: Smiles and walks in. "See you there then."

Tenchi: Why did she just say "Smiles and walks in"?
Ayeka (looks closely at the screen): She did not, Lord Tenchi. The author is 
	using quotation marks in conjunction with script format.
Tenchi: Oh.

>She walks into the lush garden where Ryu-oh floats in his special nursery. 
>There's no problem with it so she makes sure it gets all the water and 
>nutrients it needs.
>As she is nearly finished she flinches as she feels something touch her 
>leg. 

Lee (uncomfortably): This guy isn't wasting anytime is he?
Tenchi (sarcastically): Couldn't he at least introduce himself before he molests 
	her?

>It tingles, 

Michael: Anyone want to make a dandruff shampoo joke?
Everyone else: No.
Michael: Alright then.

>it feels as if several fingers are gently rubbing her leg.

(Ayeka starts to scream obscenities at the screen again. After a minute or two 
she calms down.)
Ayeka: I am sorry. This story is bringing out the worst in me.
Tenchi: It's okay. If you weren't doing such a good job of screaming at this fic 
	the rest of us would probably be joining in.

>She looks down and back at her leg while she is kneeling. 

Alex (from the booth): If that was me, I would have run or beat the hell out of 
	whoever was trying that.
Lee: I have a terrible feeling this is about to go from bad to worse.
Ryoko: Barf bags?
Everyone else: Check.

>Partially 
>covering her leg she sees a purely transparent goo 

(Everyone looks at the screen in horror.)
Ayeka (weakly): My little sister is being sexually assaulted by a gelatinous 
	blob...
Ryoko (to herself): This isn't real. It's just some perverts story. This isn't 
	real...

>which moves on it's own 

Tenchi: Away from Sasami-chan. (practically begging) Please.
Michael (looking sadly at Tenchi): Don't say things you know aren't going to 
	happen. It just make the truth that much more painful.
(Everyone sighs sadly.)

>accord. As is doesn't hurt her she studies it carefully. 

Lee: Okay. Just going to make the best of this. (as Sasami) Hmm, gelatinos 
	aecidium. An asexual creature which latches onto an unwitting subject in 
	effort to obtain body heat necessary for the final stages of it 
	reproductive cycle. After dividing into two equal halves the organisms 
	devour the subject... uh... could someone get this thing off me?

>A blob about the 
>size of her own head, but amorphous and slightly pulsing with a kind of 
>hearth beat.

Tenchi: First a flue and now a hearth. With all the chimney references Hiccup's 
	making you might think he actual wants to be Santa Claus.
Ryoko: I'd hate to see the sort of presents he'd leave for little kids. (She 
	shudders.)

>S: "Are you one of Washu's inventions?"

Ayeka: More likely one of her specimens.
(All the guys flinch.)
Tenchi: Ayeka, what exactly did you mean by that?
Ayeka: One of the creatures she keeps in her lab for study. Why? What did you 
	think I meant?
(Both she and Ryoko are looking at Tenchi intently.)
Tenchi: Haha. Oh. Nothing. Nothing at all.
(Ayeka and Ryoko look at each other trying to puzzle out why Tenchi is acting so 
	oddly, but give up after a moment.)

>She slightly quivers as the blob moves up her leg to massage it completely, 

Michael: Oh, this is beyond sick.

>even under her skirt. 

Ayeka: Get OUT OF THERE!

>Yet it seems to avoid those places where she wears 
>skin tight clothing she observes. 

Lee: She's being very calm about all this isn't she?
Ryoko: That's making it seem even creepier.

>Normally her instinct would have told her to 
>back away, but somehow she didn't feel any danger from this being. 

Alex (from the booth): Apparently it's neurotoxin effects the areas of the brain 
	responsible for survival instinct first.
Tenchi: Huh?
Alex (from the booth): Never mind.

>Especially 
>while it caresses her so. 

Everyone (turns green): *Urp*

>Her hearth beat quickens and she slightly moans as it 
>massages her inner thighs. 

Ayeka: I do not think my stomach can take much more.
Tenchi: I think we were all fools for eating before this started.
Lee: I hate irony.
Ryoko: I hate this story.
Michael: We _all_ hate this story, Ryoko.

>Once again it stops before it reaches her panties she 
>observes. Seeing this she experiments. 

Alex (from the booth): No good can come of this.
Michael: You can say that again.
(Alex starts to open her mouth, unseen by the others.) 
Lee: But don't.
(Alex closes her mouth.)

>She takes off her shoe and sock and 
>indeed the goo slowly crawls over her feet and massages it. 

Tenchi: Her shoe and sock?
(Everyone sighs in relief.)

>As a mental note she 
>makes sure to ask Washu about this thing. 

Ayeka (as Sasami): Miss Washu, what is thing crawling all over my leg?
Ryoko (as Washu): The largest ball of toe jam I've ever seen. Go take a bath, 
	and make sure to sanitize the tub when you're done!
(Everyone else gives Ryoko a look that seems to say "don't ever do that again.")
Ryoko: What?

>As it continues to massage her she 
>feels her wetness increase 

Tenchi: Oh great the things leaving a trail a slime behind.
Everyone: *Gummm-urp*
Ayeka: Lord Tenchi, what did I say to earlier about making comments that might 
	make us all ill?
Tenchi: Sorry, it just slipped out.

>and eventually she notices it trickling down her leg 
>until it reaches the goo. The goo reacts by increasing it's caressing a bit.

(Everyone stares at the screen in horror and nausea.)
Lee: I can't say that I'm really surprised, but I can't say I was prepared to be 
	right either.

>As she feels real good she rubs her young breast through the cloth of her 
>blouse with both hands. 

Ayeka: I do not wish to watch, but I cannot look away.

>Quickly she finds her nipples to have become stiff. 

Ryoko (angry): Could she stop being so detached. It's making this disgusting 
	thing worse.
Tenchi: Would you really rather have her panting and moaning in ecstecy? That's 
	the only other way this guy would write it.

>Her mind now on the drift of pleasure and she looks down. She wants more of 
>this. She stops rubbing herself and reaches out for her other shoe and 
>sock. Then she pulls her blouse off of her revealing that she wears nothing 
>underneath. (She finds bra's uncomfortable.) 

Michael: That and the fact that she doesn't need one.
Tenchi: I think the author said she was supposed to be fifteen.
Lee: It still doesn't make this any easier to take.

>She pinches her nipples oh so 
>slightly and moans even more as they become more erect. 

Ryoko: You were right, Tenchi. This is worse.

>She stands up and 
>locks her fingers under her panties and quickly pulls them down over the 
>goo covering her leg.

Everyone: Put those back on this instant young lady!
(Everyone looks at each other uncomfortably, and then goes back to trying to 
avoid watching the fic.)
Ayeka: Forget aspirin. Do we have any alcohol?

>She gasps as she feels it crawling up further it covers her ass quickly and 
>then her entire crotch. 

Michael: This is worse than tenticle rape.
(Tenchi and the girls flinch at the T-word. Lee turns to stare at Michael with 
disgust.)

>It quickly flows all over her body except her head 
>and hands. Somewhere she knew it wouldn't crawl over her face. 

Ryoko: And that somewhere is Ryu-oh's nursery.
Ayeka: The poor dear is going to be scarred for life.

>She feels 
>great as the thing caresses her whole body. She squirms as it pleasures her 
>entire nether region with a passion. 

(Everyone quickly open their barf bags and fills them.)
Tenchi: You know, that was actually more fun than watching this fic.
Michael: Don't you mean less painful?
Tenchi: That too.

>She moans loudly as it pulls open her inner pussy lips and starts to enter 
>her vagina. Slowly she is being filled up until it reaches the still sealed 
>entrance of her womb. 

(Everyone looks at the screen, too horrified to vomit.)
Lee: In the words of an old friend, "Well, I just blew my sanity check."

>(Juraians have a slightly different body from 
>Terrans. The hymen does not exist, but a fleece covers the entrance of the 
>womb until they are adults.) 

Ayeka: This may not be very dignified, but it must be said. Bullshit.

>The goo starts to vibrate inside her and 
>ripple it's surface. It does the same to her backdoor, but it doesn't 
>really penetrate her there. 

(Everyone quickly grabs new bags and fills them.)
Ryoko: Oh yeah. Eating first was a bad idea.
Lee (looking into his bag): Uh, guys...what exactly does a spleen look like?

>As she gets more and more into a state of bliss 
>her body produces more and more pleasure fluids, as she feels herself 
>becoming more moist. (The goo itself isn't slimy, just very smooth like silicon 
>plastics.) 

Tenchi: Silicon? Is Hiccup saying that Sasami has implants?
Michael: That would explain why she'd need a bra.

>She feels the being inside her pussy expand her a little and thus producing 
>a lot more pressure on her. 

Ryoko: Causing her to rupture like a firecracker blowing up a rotten tomato.
Lee: That was pretty dark, Ryoko.
Ayeka: But preferable to what is actually occurring on screen.

>As to this point she was able to stand while 
>leaning against Ryu-oh, but now she lets herself slide to the ground. 

Michael: Ayeka, how rough is Ryu-oh's bark?
Ayeka: Enough that if someone did that they would be picking splinters out of
their back for two weeks.
Tenchi: Maybe Sasami's come to her senses and is trying to scrap that thing off
of herself.
Lee: Tenchi, never say come when watching a lemon.
(Tenchi winces.)

>She 
>enjoys every pulse of the slime as it fully pleasures her. 

Ryoko (looking very green): *gulp*

>From the way it 
>makes her nipples twirl, 

Ayeka (nauseous green with highlights of angry red): *Urk-gulp*

>the way it massages her sensitive belly, 

Lee (looking a little green with a hand over his stomach): Funny. My belly's 
	feeling sensitive right about now too.

>the way 
>it strokes her legs and arms 

Tenchi (ghostly pale): Stroke. Stroke.... Did I actual just say that?

>to the way it completely fills her up.

Michael (blushing with embarresment for what Sasami is being put through): So 
	wrong. Just so wrong.

>She moans louder and louder as the creature increases it's speed more and 
>more. 

Alex (from booth, color unknown): Why can't this damn story hurry up?

>Until her body loses control to her orgasm. 

(Everyone grabs a bag as they lose control of their gag reflex and, as a direct 
result, the last remnants of their meal.)

>The quivers for a long 
>time until she's completely exhausted and falls asleep for a little while.

Ayeka (wiping her mouth): "The" quivers...?

>As she wakes up a few minutes later she feels that the creature is still on 
>her, 

Lee (as Sasami): Aren't you finished yet?
(Everyone else in the theater beats Lee into unconsciousness.)

>but it has reshaped itself as a one-piece bathing suit. 

Tenchi: I'm not certain that's really better than her going around naked.
Ryoko: Especially as that thing was supposed to be "purely transparent."

>Very light 
>headed she stands up and considers what to do, now that it's still on her, 
>she doesn't know what to do with it. While embarrassing she decides to go 
>to Washu. 

Ryoko: That's probably the only thing she really could do, but somehow I think 
	it's going to go wrong.
Ayeka: Like every other part of this story.

>She thinks about the fact that she feels, 'dry'. As if the ooze had 
>cleaned her off. 

(Everyone who is conscious starts to gag as images of the clean-up fills their 
minds.)

>Quickly she puts on her clothing, while noting that the 
>creature this time does not stay away from the fabric. Then she heads to find 
>Washu.

Alex (from the booth): Shouldn't that take a while? I mean her lab does span 
	several planets.
Tenchi: Actually, it's easier than you'd think.
(Lee comes to and shakes his head to clear the last bit off dizziness. After 
readjusting his glasses he gets back into his chair.)

>As she is dropped by the internal transporter at the part of the lab where 
>Washu is.

Ayeka (as Sasami): OUCH! Stupid thing. Miss Washu, I think your telelporter 
	needs repair.

>S: "Hia Little Washu." She blushes severely.

(Lee and Michael stare at the screen in shock. Then turn to each other for a 
second.)
Ryoko: What's wrong with you two?
Lee: Well, don't hit me for this one. It's an honest question.
(Ayeka and Tenchi turn from the screen to see what's going on.)
Ryoko: Just spit it out already.
Lee: Okay... For anime females, isn't blushing usually a sign of... well, 
arousal?
Ryoko: Don't be a baka. She's just embarrassed.
Lee: If you say so.

>W: "If you come to remind me of dinner, I haven't forgotten."

Ayeka:  And you still cannot have my "favourite."
Ryoko: Hey! That's my joke, princess!

>S: "That's not why I'm here. I think I encountered one of your 'inventions' 
>on the loose."
>
>W: She turns around and looks confused at Sasami. "Say what?"

Tenchi (as Sasami): Okay. What.
(Everyone else groans.)

>S: She pulls up her blouse to reveal the goo around her waist. 

Michael: So much for it being a bathing suit.

>"This one. 
>I must admit that it is a very nice invention, but I can't get it off."

(Everyone else in the theater glares menacingly at Lee.)
Lee (annoyed): I'm not going to say anything. It'd be to sick anyway.
Alex (from the booth): Fine, then I'll say it. (as Sasami) But it got me off 
	just fine.
(Everyone in the theater heads whip around to look at Alex. Some in shock, some
in disgust, and others in anger.)
Lee (monotone): Alex?
Alex (nervously): Yes?
Lee (monotone): Remember what I said about redeeming yourself from the turkey 
	comment?
Alex (nervously): Yeah.
Lee (monotone): Well now we have a whole new reason to have our little talk 
	after this is over.
Ayeka (menacingly): And I for one think it should be a group discussion.
Alex (quietly): Oh hell.
(Everyone turns back to the fic.)

>W: She now smiles nearly insane and starts laughing out loud. "Very nice 
>indeed. From your blush I can tell you fully felt it's main purpose." She 
>sits down to prevent herself from falling over from laughing. "It comes off 
>very easy, just ask it, verbally and mentally."
>
>S: Smiles while still being tomato red. 

Ryoko: That tomato riff is coming back to haunt me now.

>"That easily?" She puts on a 
>thinking face. 

Tenchi: And so is my serial killer one.

>"Main purpose? What is this thing anyway?"

Michael: Ryoko, you do realize that if you make that toe jam comment again we 
	all will do everything in our power to hurt you, right?
Ryoko (looking around): R-really?
Everyone else, even Tenchi: Yes.

>W: Puts on a scientific tone. "It's main purpose is to be a pleasure unit, 
>it's secondary purpose, while being a side-effect, is that it acts as a 
>body armour." Sasami looks as Washu quickly launches a fist at her stomach, 
>hits and doesn't hurt her at all. 

Tenchi (pointing at the screen): Yeah, look Washu isn't hurt at all.
Lee: Sasami, on the other hand, just doubled over and passed out.

>The goo fully absorbed the kinetic 
>energy. "See?" Then she turns to a screen. 

Ayeka: She's downloading nude drawings of Lord Tenchi!
Ryoko: What!? And she doesn't even bother to share?
Ayeka: How selfish.
(Tenchi blushes.)

>"For what it is, it's a 
>genetically altered symbiotic multi-cell amoeba. It's original form 
>attached itself to larger organisms and fed on the waste from that 
>organism, 

Everyone: Eewww...

>while providing it's host with good protection with it's tough 
>cell membranes. I increased it's size 

Tenchi: I thought size wasn't supposed to matter.
(All the girls sweatdrop.)

>and feeding, to be precise it feeds 
>on bodily fluids produced by sexual arousal. 

Everyone: Double Eewww...

>And I programmed it with a way 
>to remove it." She turns on a serious face. "Now to find out how it got 
>loose from it's nutrient bath." She used her holo-top. "MIHOSHI!" As she 
>looks at several creatures on the loose all over the biological parts of 
>her lab.

Michael: So Hiccup thinks Mihoshi keeps breaking into the lab in search of sex 
	toys?
(Everyone else blushes blue.)
Michael: Um, what?
Lee: You know for all the off color comments I make, all the _really_ 
	disturbingly perverse riffs this time around have come from you.
Michael: Like what?
Everyone else: Tentacle rape.

>S: "Oh my, is she unhurt?" She looks as Mihoshi is being chased by a cat 
>like monstrous being. Then she sees her disappear and reappear in the 
>living room.

Ryoko (as Washu): So that's how she does it. She can teleport. ...but how does 
	she get by the lab's shield?

>W: "Now that that has been taken care off. Would you please explain why you 
>allowed it to pleasure you?"

Ayeka: Well young lady, what do you have to say for yourself?

>S: "Well, I sensed it to be harmless and well, I needed it." She looks down 
>at her toes. "Aeka has all of her toys, 

(Everyone else looks at Ayeka nervously from the corners of their eyes.)

>but I don't." She looks up, with a 
>big grin on her face, while Washu looks amused. "Especially as she starts 
>moaning at the middle of the night, I get aroused as well. 

Eveyone: ...

>She starts moaning 
>out names while sleeping. 'Tenchi, Tenchi, ohh Tenchi. Tenchi, TEN CHIIIIIII.' 

(Tenchi blushes brightly.)

>But the weird part begins as she calls out other names as well. You know about 
>Jurai women Washu?"

Ayeka: If Miss Washu starts going into a discourse about fleeces and missing 
	hymens I shall scream.

>W: "Well, I think I know most of it. What part do you mean?"
>
>S: "About our upbringing towards the genders." She once again becomes very red.

Tenchi (still blushing a little): I can relate.

>W: Contemplates shortly. "Oh yeah, that it's not wrong to love either of 
>them." Then it hits her. "Let me guess, she calls out the names of some of 
>the girls? Who, Mihoshi or Kiyone maybe?"

(Everyone else goes back to staring at Ayeka out of the corners of their eyes.)

>S: Shakes her head. "Nope, she calls out all of us. Ryoko being at the top of 
>the list."

(Ryoko edges away from Ayeka.)
Lee: Ryoko, get offa my lap. Who do you think I am? Tenchi?
Ryoko (getting back into her own seat, but still staying as far from Ayeka as 
	possible): Sorry about that.

>W: Visibly shudders. "All right. Even mine?" Looks as Sasami nods. "So she 
>actually has feelings for others than Tenchi."

(Everyone else turns to look at Ayeka.)
Ayeka (deadpan): It is not true. Now go back to watching this disgusting story.
(Everyone else turns back to the screen. Ryoko relaxes.)

>S: "And the thing is that she nearly always wakes up afterward and nearly 
>cries. 

Ayeka: If I actually had such a disturbing dream, who could blame me for 
	weeping?

>I actually heard her saying one time that she wished that her dream 
>would come true, but that she just fears that if she ever says anything 
>about it that she will be totally ridiculed by Ryoko and discarded by 
>Tenchi. She really hates the fighting, but Ryoko always knows how to hurt her 
>feelings."

Tenchi: Alex, I think that's your cue.
Alex (from the booth): Huh?
Tenchi: "This can lead to nothing good."
Alex: Oh, right.

>W: Gets a very big grin. "That's perfect. The last piece of the puzzle has 
>reshaped itself perfectly. Sasami, I think you should know a bit about 
>Ryoko too. I found out when she was hiding herself one time from Aeka after 
>a fight with my spy camera's. She too has feelings for Aeka, she was 
>actually worried for Aeka. 

(Now everyone turns to look at Ryoko.)
Ryoko: Like Ayeka said, it's not true.

>She had hurt Aeka during that fight. Like Aeka she 
>hates the fighting, but she hates it how Aeka ridicules her with her 'princess' 
>behaviour." Washu smiled at Sasami. "And for the rest. I caught Mihoshi and 
>Kiyone straight in the act. And they quickly spoiled their love life secrets to 
>me, including their desire for Tenchi and the other girls. 

Michael: Sheesh, Hiccup has the girls written like they'll gossip about 
	anything.

>I know my own 
>feelings, 

Ryoko (as Washu): Completely repelled.

>but I need to be sure about your feelings Sasami."

Ayeka (as Sasami): Same here.

>S: Walks to Washu and before Washu can act kisses her full on the mouth. "I love 
>all of you. I don't know really why, but it's deeper than with a family kind of 
>love. Yet I also feel at home here like it was my family.

Michael and Ryoko (gape-mouthed): Damn.
Lee (to Michael): Don't you just hate being right?
Tenchi (to Ryoko): Awful being wrong, isn't it?

> Well, except I really 
>feel towards Nobiyuki and Katsuhiro like my parents."

Everyone: Thank goodness.

>W: Looks slightly stunned. "That same feeling goes for me too. A very tight 
>family." She lays a hand on Sasami's shoulder. "And I know even Tenchi feels 
>this way. 

Tenchi: Not true.

>I read his diary. I must say that Nobiyuki isn't the only one with a 
>naughty mindset. 

Ryoko: Yeah. I'd say you two are pretty hentai.

>Now is time for a plan."

Alex (from the booth): Absolutely nothing good could possibly come from this.

>Part two, Main course: gang bang deluxe.

Lee: Dry heaves here we come.
Tenchi: I thought you told me not to say come during a lemon.
Lee: D'oh!

>---

>Then Washu and Sasami continue setting up a plan and setting it into 
>motion. (And while Sasami returned the goo to it's habitat.)

All the men (singing): Born freeee. As free as the wind blows...
Ayeka: So the slime is the only one with the good sense to leave this lemon?
Ryoko: Don't know about you, princess, but I'm insulted.

>About two days later, Friday evening, all the girls are in the onsen. Most 
>look pretty shaken and unsure, especially Aeka and Ryoko. 

Ryoko and Ayeka (both with their eyes shut tight): Please don't let this go I 
	think it is going. Please don't let this go where I think it is going. 
	Please don't...

>Washu then 
>activates a mechanical part of the onsen, 

Michael: Oh I hope Washu didn't make any _special_ adjustments to the onsen.

>swiftly the wall that separates the 
>men from the women part disappears. 

Lee: Tenchi, is there a wa-
Tenchi (montone): No. Hiccup just doesn't know what he's talking about.

>On the other side they see Tenchi with a 
>cloth over his eyes, relaxing in the water. 

Alex (from the booth): He won't be relaxed much longer.

>Then all of them swim over to 
>Tenchi.

(Ayeka and Ryoko hum the theme from Jaws.)
Tenchi (cringing): D'oh! What did say about doing that last time?
(Everyone else snickers.)

>Ryoko: "Oh, Ten-chi." As she wraps her arms around his left arm.

Ayeka (at the screen): Miss Ryoko, what do you think you are doing?!
Ryoko (to Ayeka): Sitting here suffering through this. Same as everyone else.
Ayeka (sweatdrops): Oh. Right.

>Tenchi: "Whaah, 

Tenchi (as Tenchi on screen, crying): WHAAAAHH!! Lemme outta this fic!
(Everyone recoils in surprise.)
Tenchi (rubbing the back of his head): Sorry. I had to get that out of my 
	system.

>Ryoko, you shouldn't be here, what if Aeka finds you here." Then 
>he removes the cloth with his free hand.

Ryoko: Somehow I think that's the least of our worries.
Ayeka: Actually, what I may be about to do worries me quite a bit.

>A: "What if I find out?"

Everyone: *sigh*

>T: His eyes go wide as he sees Aeka next to Ryoko, while she places her 
>hands on one of his legs. 

Tenchi: Who has their hands on my legs?
Michael (reviewing the last line): Ayeka... I think
Tenchi: No. I mean who has their hands on my legs right now.
(Both Ryoko and Ayeka move away from Tenchi a little and try to look innocent.)

>"A-e-ka. What are you doing here?"

Lee: I wish she'd say bathing, but I know it isn't going to happen. *sigh*

>Kiyone: "The same as we are going to do, isn't that right Mihoshi?"

Ayeka (as Mihoshi): We are going to arrest you for indecent exposure.
Tenchi (as Tenchi): But this the men's bath.... And I'm wearing a towel.
Ayeka (as Mihoshi): Then what am I going to do with these handcuffs?
Tenchi (blushing blue): Ah, um, ...
Ryoko:  I think we should frisk you for, um, evidence. Yeah, evidence.
Lee: Look out, Tenchi. I think they're feeling frisky.
(Ayeka and Ryoko glare at Lee. Tenchi just laughs nervously.)

>Mihoshi: "Uhuh. We're going to have a lot of fun together."
>
>T: "Kiyone, Mihoshi, you too, here, what kind of fun?" He gulps and stares 
>at the four pairs of breast in his direct eye-sight. Yet he sees even two 
>more pairs.

Lee (as Tenchi): AHH! When did I grow these!
(Tenchi shudders.)
Tenchi: That wasn't funny.
Michael (laughing): Yes it was.

>Adult Washu: "The kind of fun called..."

Alex (from the booth, sarcastic): Oh, the suspense is killing me.

>S: "Sex."

(Everyone gasps in mock shock.)

>T: "S.. S. Sex? Wait a minute, I must be in a dream. Yep, gotta be a dream."

Michael: I foresee the need for clean sheets in Tenchi's future.
(Everyone else looks at Michael in disgust.)
Michael: What?
Lee: Michael...
Ryoko: A bit of advice.
Tenchi: Don't do that again.
Ayeka: Ever.

>A: "Oh, I wouldn't call this a dream." As she positions herself over his 
>stiff shaft, while Ryoko guides it in. 

(Ayeka and Ryoko bolt to their feet and start screaming at the screen. It's a 
little difficult to make out exactly what they are saying but one can get the 
jist of it. Ryoko is upset because she would NOT help Ayeka have sex with her 
Tenchi. Ayeka is angry at the Ryoko in the fic for cutting in on a special 
moment between her and Lord Tenchi, and for touching him there.)

>Then allows him to go in all the 
>way. "Finally. Ohhh, you're so big Tenchi. Oh Ryoko, thank you." While Ryoko 
>embraces Aeka from behind and starts to massage Aeka's breasts.

(Ryoko and Ayeka are still yelling, Tenchi is just staring blankly at the 
screen, and Lee and Michael are watching Ryoko and Ayeka.)

>T: "Very real, very real, very real..." He continues for a short while.

(Ayeka and Ryoko are still screaming and getting louder every second. Lee looks 
over at Tenchi who is still staring at the screen and now sports a nosebleed.)

>He gasps as he feels Aeka going up and down on him. 

(The girls have moved from what is happening in the fic to what they are going 
to do to the author... it's nasty, it's painful, and... good heavens, how can 
anyone conceive of using a rubber ducky for that! Meanwhile Michael is watching 
the impressive display of pulsing and throbbing veins standing out on the girl's 
foreheads. Lee's watching Tenchi, who now is bleeding from both nostrils and 
drooling. For his part, Tenchi is oblivious to everything save what is happening 
on screen.)

>From his eye corners he 
>can see Kiyone tonguing with Mihoshi. A bit further he also sees Sasami 
>being fingered by Washu, while floating just above the water on one of 

(The girls have started to turn blue, but are still being very vocal. Tenchi is 
still off in la la land. Curious, Lee leans over and taps Tenchi lightly on the 
back of the head. Tenchi slowly starts to lean forward in his chair like a tree 
giving way to gravity and the lumberjack's ax. At the same moment Michael see 
both girls seemingly choke as they finally run out of oxygen. They simultaneous 
pass out, leaning inward towards each other. They collide on the way down, and 
end up on their backs. Tenchi has continued his slow decent, with his eyes still 
open but no more aware then the girls are. He lands on top of them, and his 
hands have found their way to rather... interesting locations.)

>Washu's floating pillows. As he looks back he sees that Aeka has turned 
>around a bit and is now kissing Ryoko full on the mouth. The feeling is 
>incredible and the sight is purely intoxicating to him.

(Michael and Lee stare at the heap of guests on the floor.)
Lee: Well, the girls are either going to be really mad or very happy when they 
	wake up.
Michael: What about Tenchi?
Lee: I don't think he's unconscious, just dazed.

>Mihoshi apparently has disengaged herself from Kiyone 

Michael (finally paying attention to the fic again): Well, that's better than 
	having to go through a messy divorce later.

>as he sees her next 
>to his other side where Ryoko is. She presses her large breasts into his 
>side and starts kissing him on the cheek and slowly up to his mouth, slowly 
>turning it into tongue kissing.

Lee: Kissing someone's tongue... that's weird.
Michael: I think this hiccup guy meant french kissing.
Lee: I was being sarcastic.

>On the pillow Sasami is enjoying a double tongue job as both Washu and 
>Kiyone are licking at the juices she is producing. 

Alex (from the booth): How can they do that without banging their heads 
	together?
Lee: Forget that. The fact that they're doing it to Sasami is just plain wrong.

>What Sasami can't see is 
>that Washu is fingering Kiyone furiously, making her suck and lick Sasami 
>more feverously.

Michael: I think of something more deserving of Washu's finger than Kiyone.
(Michael, Lee, and Alex all give the screen the single finger salute. After a 
second both of Tenchi's hands can be seen doing likewise.)
Tenchi (getting up off the floor, and the girls): Does anybody have a hanky? I 
	need to wipe the blood off of my face before they (points to Ayeka and 
	Ryoko) wake up.
Lee: Nope. You'll have to go wash it of in the bathroom.
Alex (from the booth): I'll just pause the fic while you're gone.
Tenchi (sarcastically): Thanks. That just made my day.
(Tenchi goes to the bathroom. While he's gone the girls come to and get back 
into their chairs.)
Ryoko: Where's Tenchi?
(Tenchi emerges from the john and comes back to his seat.)
Alex (from the booth): Okay. Let's finish this thing.

>Aeka quickly has her first orgasm of the evening. 

Ayeka (bored): Yay.

>She looks satisfied at 
>both Tenchi and Ryoko. She gets off 

Lee: Again? Wow, she really is responsive.
(Ayeka reaches over and smacks Lee in the back of the head.)
Lee: Ow!

>and allows Ryoko to take her place. 

Ryoko (bored): Oh goody, my turn. I'm sure it'll be the wonderfully passionate 
	and romantic event I've always dreamed of.

>The 
>same time Mihoshi stops kissing Tenchi and turns to Aeka. She guides the 
>princes up on the edge of the pool. As Aeka lies down she looks down as 
>Mihoshi crawls next to her. She admires the way Mihoshi's bald pussy looks 
>like. 

Tenchi: Bald?
Michael: I could understand shaven, but bald?

>She knows that Mihoshi's race doesn't have any body-hair at all, 

Lee: Which of course would mean she wears a wig, false eyelashes, and fake 
	eyebrows... sorry Michael.
(Michael rubs one of his currently hairless brows, and scowls at Lee.)

>very 
>convenient she thinks as she looks down at the purple hart shaped shaved 
>pubic hair on her own body. 

(Ayeka flushes a sputters incoherently at the screen. Tenchi blushes and looks 
upward to avoid looking at the screen. Ryoko burst out laughing as she points at 
Ayeka.)
Michael: I'm going to regret asking, but what is all this about?
Ryoko (between fits of laughter): Hic, Hiccup got, got it right!
Ayeka: Shut up! They do not need to know that!
(The crew sweatdrops. Tenchi closes his eyes and say another silent prayer. Hey, 
they've been working pretty well so far.)

>Then she smiles as she looks up at her little 
>sister and sees that her sister thinks alike, as she sees a small blue hart
>just above her clit which is currently being fingered by Kiyone.

(And the theater goes silent.)
Tenchi: Sasami lemons... bad... very bad...
Lee: The worst part is that there are worse ones out there.
Ayeka: And _we_ did not need to know _that_.

>She sees Mihoshi getting into a 69 position with her and gladly starts 
>lapping at Mihoshi's engorged sexual organ. All the while Mihoshi is glad 
>that she can taste the honey sweet taste of Aeka and the slightly salty 
>taste of Tenchi on Aeka.

(Everyone but Ayeka vomits into a barf bag.)
Ayeka (looking like she is going to cry... again): I feel so violated...

>Meanwhile Ryoko is in heaven 

Ryoko (wiping her mouth): If this is heaven I hate to think what hell would be 
	like.

>as she pounds up and down on Tenchi's shaft 
>while he is playing with her breast. He squeezes them and then cups them. 
>Bringing his head to one of them he starts to suckle and lick on it. He is 
>shortly stopped as he tastes a weird yet slightly familiar tasting liquid 
>coming from Ryoko's breast. 

Michael (worried): No. No, it could be.

>He looks at it and sees a slightly orange milk 
>dripping from it, 

Ryoko and Michael: AAARRRRGGHHH!!!
Ryoko: The first person to make a "got milk?" joke dies.
Lee and Alex: Spoilsport.

>he looks up at her bliss filled face and sees her nod to 
>continue. So he eagerly does. In less than a minute Ryoko reaches her peak, 

Lee (grinning evilly): RICOLA! (The phrase echoes oddly around the theater.)
(Ryoko glares at Lee while the look at him nervously.)
Ayeka (whispering): Lord Tenchi, how did he do that?
Tenchi (whispering): I have no idea.

>clamping down on Tenchi in such a way that it makes Tenchi come too.
>Filling her up he pushes in and out for the last few times, yet the extra 
>warmth is enough to make her come a second time. He considers shortly the fact 
>that there might be more surprises. 

Alex (from the booth): I now have enough evidence to safely say that 
	foreshadowing in lemons always points to nothing good. 

>He should take more time to contemplate the 
>differences between them, even if they appear to be human.
>Nearly at the same time Sasami comes to a climax as Washu has managed to 
>fit nearly her entire hand into Sasami's crack, 

Michael (paling): Anal fisting? Anal fisting Sasami? Why? What have I done to 
	deserve this?
(No one answers. Everyone else in the theater and booth are to busy vomiting or 
dry heaving, and God doesn't want to go anywhere near the theater at the moment. 
Can you blame him?)

>while Kiyone makes sure 
>Sasami is spread out enough. At the same time Kiyone is kissing Sasami's 
>belly. (A more sensitive area for Juraians.) Sasami luckily is being 
>supported in the back by another floating pillow or she would have fallen 
>off as her body spasms from the tremendous orgasm. Even if it slightly hurt 
>her a bit as she stretched a bit too much.

Everyone (looking murderously at the screen): YA THINK!?!

>On the flour Mihoshi too reaches her climax

Tenchi (eyes twitching): Did...Did that just say "On the _flour_ Mihoshi too 
	reaches her climax"?
Ryoko: Yeah, Tenchi. I'm afraid it did.
Tenchi: Now there bring food into this...
(Have spent not only all the food in their stomachs, but also the bile, the 
entire group is reduced to dry heaving.)

>, pleasing Aeka with a load of 
>juice which Aeka quickly licks off, while nearing her own second orgasm. 

(Ayeka tries to stand up to yell at the screen, but doubles over instead as she 
continues to gag.)

>Which 
>comes close very quickly as Mihoshi puts her fingers a bit more to work. Tracing 
>the inner contours of Aeka's sex with her index fingers, while rubbing her clit 
>with her thumbs. This little added pressure makes Aeka loose it for the second 
>time in less than half an hour. 

Tenchi (finally managing to get his gag reflex under control): I don't know 
	about the fic's Aeka, but our Ayeka has lost it more than twice in the 
	last thirty minutes.
Ayeka (also regaining control): It has been thirty of the worst minutes of my 
	life, Lord Tenchi.
Tenchi: Mine too, Ayeka. Mine too.

>Yet unlike the last time she goes on and on, 

Lee: I refuse to do an energizer bunny riff.

>continuing to orgasm for nearly five minutes. Then she passes out.

Ayeka: I wish I would pass out. Then I would not have to watch this.

>As Aeka becomes conscious again she sees the worried look of the rest. Washu has 
>a small gadget scanning her. She smiles and closes it.

Michael: I hope hiccup was talking about the scanner.
Lee: Michael, you're starting to scare us. Stop it.

>W: "It seems that Guarth and Juraian females together have an unexpected side 
>effect." She points at a guilty looking Mihoshi. "Normally the lubricating 
>juices of a Guarth only stimulates a male Guarth to produce more seed. With 
>Juraians it overloads their system as they orgasm."

Everyone: Too easy.

>M: "I'm sorry Aeka." She looks teary eyed now.

Ryoko: Do we have any umbrellas in here?
Alex (from the booth): Why?
Ryoko: Have you ever seen what happens when Mihoshi cries?
Alex (guess where): Right. I'll add that to list of nessassary MSTing equipment.

>A: "Don't worry Hoshi, 

Ayeka: Hoshi?
Ryoko: Now this guy is getting into using pet names.

>I never felt a higher ecstasy as just a few moments ago 
>thanks to you." She crawls over to Mihoshi and kisses her on the mouth.
>
>Tenchi just sits there with this incredibly stupid grin. 

(Three voices ring out in obscenities as used vomit bags are thrown at the 
screen.)
Michael: They're getting violent.
Lee: ...and disgusting.

>Just a moment ago he 
>asked himself if this was a dream, apparently not. Then he eyes most of the 
>beautiful girls around him, most are still slightly red from the action. He sees 
>how that Washu 

Ryoko: Not this Washu, but that Washu.

>crawls up to Kiyone and hugs her. Kiyone returns the favour with 
>abundance, kissing Washu's individual lips, 

Michael: I'm not doing that riff.
Lee: Sorry, too sick for me... for moment at least.
Ryoko: It's too easy.
Tenchi: I don't know what your talking about and I don't think I want to.
Ayeka: It is beneath my dignity.

(A moment of silent decends on the theater.)
Alex (from the booth): Fine. Then I'll do it. Ah-hum. Two or all four? AAHH!
(Alex ducks for cover as projectiles of a repulsive and lemon scented nature 
impact near her former position.)
Alex (peeking back out): Would you please stop that.
Tenchi, Ryoko, and Ayeka: It wasn't us.
(Lee and Michael try to look innocent.)

>then descending down to the still 
>stiff nipples of adult Washu.
>She lets her tongue slip out and play with the dark pink nipple. As she manages 
>to curl her tongue all around the nipple she places her whole mouth over it, 
>taking a lot of breast in as well. 

Tenchi: How? Did she unhinge her jaw or something?
(Tenchi notices that the girls are looking at him.)
Tenchi (nervously): Um, not that I have first hand experience with them or 
	anything.

>The hot breath makes Washu shiver in delight. 
>Tenchi looks on in slight confusion as he sees milk like Ryoko's from the corner 
>of Kiyone's mouth, who is happily sucking and drinking at Washu's breast. Ryoko 
>as well looks slightly confused.

Michael: In Ryoko's defense, I have to say I think this fic would do that to 
	most anyone in some way or another.

>R: "Washu's of the same race as me?" She softly whispers in Sasami's ear.
>
>S: "Looks jummy." She whispers back, 

Ayeka: Excuse me, but what exactly is "jummy"?
Lee: A typo. Can we just get this over with?

>then looks down at Ryoko and plants her 
>mouth over Ryoko's breast.

Ryoko (recoils from the screen, covering her breast protectively): GAHH!
(Everyone else looks at the screen numbly.)
Michael: She just latched right on, didn't she?
Ryoko: It looks like she's trying to suck my spine out though my chest!
Ayeka: Thank you ever so much for that lovely mental image, Ryoko.

>Washu in the mean time lays down, still with Kiyone latched 

(Everyone blinks.)
Michael: It seems Sasami isn't the only one doing her best impression of a 
	vacuum.
All the females: MICHAEL!
(Even Lee and Tenchi are covering their chests.)
Tenchi (to Michael): Before today I thought you were the normal one.

>onto her breast. She 
>looks at Tenchi with pleading eyes. 

Ayeka (as Washu): Get her off of me! Please, get her off of me!

>Seeing that Ryoko is occupied and Aeka 
>nodding he moves over to Washu. He shortly stops as he looks down at her 
>entrance, but then moves on. 

Lee: I'm probably going to get decked for this, but I have to ask. Is that a 
	tattoo above Washu's...um, area?
(Everyone looks more closely at the screen.)
Ryoko: It is, and I think I can make it out what it says.
Everyone else: Well?
Ryoko (frowning as she strains to read the small lettering from an odd angle): 
	"Abandon all hope ye who enter here." Why would anyone have that tattooed 
	_there_?
Tenchi: I really hope we never find out.

>Resting on his knees he lifts her legs resting them 
>on his shoulders and pulling her butt from the ground. Then he slowly enters 
>her. (All that training does have this advantage of being strong enough to pull 
>off these positions.) 

(Tenchi starts sweating heavily and shaking violently.)
Ayeka: Lord Tenchi...?
Tenchi: Just what kind of training does this guy think I do?!
(Everyone else shivers at the mental images Tenchi's statement induces.) 

>Mihoshi, not wanting to be left out, starts playing with 
>Washu's other breast. 

Ryoko (as Mihoshi): Got any twos?
Ayeka (as Washu's breast): Go fish.

>Using her hand she massages it. Washu rewards Kiyone and 
>Mihoshi 

Ryoko (as Washu): You each get a cookie.

>by fingering them, 

Ryoko: I said "cookie" not "nookie".

>even if with a lot of trouble as she is being pounded 
>considerably. She begs Tenchi to go harder and harder. As he complies she's 
>nearly shoved away from him.

Tenchi: More like I came to my senses and decide to make a break for it. 

>Sasami nearly giggles as she hears Ryoko's moans, they are closer to purring 
>than moans. The taste of Ryoko's milk is very good. The thought of having this 
>for breakfast every morning crosses her mind. 

Ryoko: If this guy suggests milking me I swear I will hunt him down and kill 
	him, slowly and painfully.

>She sees that Ryoko is enjoying 
>it, 

Ryoko (sarcastic): Oh yeah. Having the time of my life.

>tough not as much as when she was filled by Tenchi. Actually she saw Tenchi 
>shoot inside of her. 

Lee: Who's hiccup talking about now?
Tenchi: I have no idea.

>Thinking about what she had read in some hentai-comics she 
>releases Ryoko's breast and goes down to her sex.

Michael: I'm beginning to think even the author's lost track.

> As she looks down at the small 
>bush of teal hair she shortly studies Ryoko's sexual organ. 

Alex (from the booth): I'm guessing Sasami.
Ayeka: I, for one, suddenly miss the ambiguity.

>It's different from 
>her own, unlike humans and Juraians Ryoko doesn't have labia, it's smooth with 
>the vagina on the usual spot. 

Ryoko (trembling with barely contained rage): With everything else this... guy 
	has said about me I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks the normal place 
	for me is in my right armpit.
Tenchi (looking a little disgusted): That is a mental image I didn't need, 
	Ryoko.

>As she touches it she sees the amount of muscular 
>control Ryoko has over it. 

Michael: Great. Now it's doing impressions.
Ayeka (pointing at the screen): Look a bunny!
Tenchi: A fish!
Alex: George Washington crossing the Delaware!
Lee: A calm! Oh... wait. I guess it really could pull that one off...
Ryoko (flies up out of her seat preparing to fire a plasma blast at Lee): DIE!!
Everyone else: Ahh!
(Lee runs for his life as Ryoko flies after him. Blasting away indiscriminately.
Everyone else in the theater dives for cover.)
Lee (pleading as he runs): It was a mistake. Honest.
Ryoko: It'll be your last.

>She then wonders where Ryoko's clitoris is hidden. As 
>she starts rubbing her over her mound she notes that apparently the clitoris 
>isn't a visible nub, but that nearly the entire area around the vagina is super 
>sensitive. She remembers her earlier thought and looks around at Tenchi and 
>Washu. It's difficult to see, but indeed, Washu has a similar physiology as 
>Ryoko. She hears Ryoko whimper from not getting attention, so she turns around 
>and starts fingering Ryoko. Slightly blowing air over Ryoko's reddening mound 
>making Ryoko shiver and moan. 

(Alex pauses the fic, and just watches as Lee gets bounced around the theater 
like a ping pong ball by a series of near misses. Ryoko then closes in for the 
kill summoning her sword.)
Lee (panicking): Really. I swear I didn't mean to say that. Please don't kill 
	me!
Tenchi (from under a chair): Ryoko, come on. Give him a break.
Ryoko (hold her sword inches from Lee's throat): Oh I'll give him a break 
	alright. Now which limb should I start with...
Michael (also under a chair): You know if you _really_ want to hurt him, there's 
	a better way.
(Ryoko turns to face Michael. She's obviously interested.)
Lee (sweating): You... you wouldn't...
Michael: Alex, bring up the lights for a second.
Alex (nervous): Are you sure this is such a good idea. You know what happened 
	last time.
Lee (horrified): You... can't be serious.
Michael (to Alex): Trust me.
(All the guests look at each other puzzled.)
Alex: *sigh* Well, okay. But you're the one responsible for this when he comes 
	after someone later, not me.
(The theaters newly replaced main lights come on suddenly, and everyone blinks 
to readjust their eyes. Everyone but Lee, who cringes in discomfort.)
Michael (smiling pleasantly at Ryoko): Now all you have to do is take off his 
	glasses.
Lee (enraged and frightened): You lousy, traitorous, no good, sonnofva...
Ryoko (confused): That's it?
Michael (still smiling): That's it.
(Ryoko turns her attention back to Lee and reaches for his glasses. He fights 
back with surprising strength, but he's no match for the ex-space pirate.)
Everyone: ...
(They say in space no one can hear you scream, pity that doesn't work within the 
confines of a space station. Upon removing the defacto leader's yellow lens 
spectacles Ryoko and the other are greeted with a scream of pain that exceeds 
decibel levels that humans should be able to produce. The source of the sound, 
the aforementioned defacto leader, has assumed a fetal postion with his hands 
covering his face.)
Ryoko: Quick! Kill the lights!
(Alex can't hear Ryoko, but that doesn't matter as she was already shutting the 
main lights off.)
Lee (stops screaming as the lights go down): ...
Ryoko (looking at the glasses in her hand): Um...
Michael: Maybe that wasn't such a great idea after all.
Ayeka (sarcastic): What was your first clue?
(Tenchi is checking to see if he can still hear, and Alex is resting with her 
head on the console in the booth.)
Lee (hoarsely): Who should I kill first?
Ryoko (gingerly offering the glasses back to Lee): Uh, here. Guess you'll be 
	needing these.
(Lee's hand flies out and snatches the glasses. Ryoko flinches and teleports 
back to her seat. Tenchi and Ayeka get back in there seats too. Michael is still 
hiding.)
Alex (from the booth): Remember, Michael said he'd take responsibility, so 
	please leave the rest of us out of it.
Lee (stands up a little shakily): You're right. After all, Ryoko just wanted to 
	break a few limbs, or kill me outright.
Tenchi (sweatdrop): Are you serious?
Lee: Yes.
Ayeka: Did it really hurt that much?
(Lee just looks at her.)
Ayeka: Never mind.
Lee: Alex, you're off the hook for everything that went on tonight. Mike-
(Michael winces but stays under his seat.)
Lee: don't go anywhere. You and I are going to have a few words when this is 
	over.
(Lee returns to his seat.)
Lee (suddenly very chipper): Well, let's get this back underway. It's late and I 
	for one can't wait to finish.
Tenchi, Ayeka, and Ryoko (blinking): Okay...
(Alex restarts the fic.)

>In the back she hears Washu scream in pleasure as 
>she has her orgasm. This making Sasami even hornier than she was to this point. 

Lee: Oh g-r-e-a-t. Now hiccup has her sprouting horns.
(The other three look at him askew.)
Lee: What? You'd rather sit through this thing without riffing it?
Tenchi: Well... not really.
Lee; Well, alright then.
(The guests look at each other, shrug, and decide to go back to MSTing.)

>Then she hears Tenchi release himself as well.

Tenchi: I'm free from this fic! FREE!
Ayeka and Ryoko: Please take us with you.

>Washu frees herself from Kiyone and Mihoshi 

Alex (from the booth): ...indirect bondage? Kinky.
The four active MSTers: Alex!

>and pulls herself up to kiss Tenchi 
>on the mouth. She then whispers into his ear.

Ayeka: Guess where this mouth has been tonight.
Everyone else but Michael: Ayeka!
Ryoko: Princess, before we came here I never thought I'd live to hear you say 
	something like that.

>W: "Three more to go, if you don't feel up to it." 

Tenchi: Punny. Very punny.

>She pauses, having short 
>breath now. "I concocted something to replenish you far faster."

Ryoko (as Washu): I call it viagra. I think there might be a market for it, but 
	I need someone to test it o- err I mean try it to see how well it works.
Tenchi (as Tenchi): You engineered this entire event just for this didn't you?
Ryoko (as Washu): What's your point?

>Washu pulls herself off completely now and is being helped up by Mihoshi and 
>Kiyone. She then makes her holo-top appear again 

Lee: Zim Zim Zalla Bim. Appear!

>and types shortly. 

Ayeka: S. H. Oh, where is the "o" key?
Tenchi: Nowhere near the lemon scene if there is any mercy left in the universe.
Ayeka: What?
Ryoko: Tenchi, she said "'o' key", not "ohki".
Tenchi: Oh...
Lee: ...key.

>In front of 
>Tenchi appears a glass with a green liquid.

Tenchi: I don't know whose body that supposedly came out of, but I don't want 
	any.

>W: "It's a special energy drink suited to human and Juraian beings."

Ayeka: And it has a minty aftertaste.

>Tenchi quickly gulps it down and notes it to taste rather well. 

Lee: Whoa... Ayeka, was right.

>In a few seconds 
>he feels how his tiredness disappears and how his member starts to erect itself 
>again.

Tenchi: So in this fic, my err... member has a mind of it's own?
Lee (blushing blue): That is disturbing on so many levels.

>T: "Who's next." He smiles.

Ryoko: No one! End this fic now!
Ayeka: Miss Ryoko, we all know that isn't going to happen.
Ryoko: I can dream can't I?

>Mihoshi and Kiyone point at Sasami with her but in the air, playing with Ryoko's 
>nether region.

Tenchi: Not Sasami. Please. I know she's older, but she's still a minor, and 
	even if she wasn't... IT"S SASASMI!
Lee: I feel your pain. Really.
Ayeka: My little sister...
Ryoko: This is so sick.

>K: "We can wait for a while." She giggles and cuddles again with Mihoshi.

Ryoko: And that's nearly as bad.
(The others nod.)

>Tenchi sneaks over to Sasami. As he sees her from behind he takes a double take 

Alex (from the ...oh you know where she is.): Which would actually make it a 
	triple take.

>as he sees something really unexpected. Then he looks back at Aeka and waves her 
>over to him.

Lee (as Tenchi): She shouldn't be involved in this. Help me knock her out so we 
	can get her away from this.

>T: "Turn around please."

Ayeka (scowling): He had better not...

>Aeka looks a bit confused, but complies.
>
>T: "You too?" He reaches out to the base of Aeka's back.
>
>A: Giggles heavily. "IIII... Please don't tickle me ther...e hi, hi."

Tenchi: "Hi, hi"?
Ayeka: Bye-bye.
Ryoko: Sit down, or did you suffer this far just to give up now?
Ayeka: It was only a joke, Miss Ryoko.

> As she 
>wriggles herself away from Tenchi.
>
>T: "I didn't know you two had tails, even short ones." As he stares at the one 
>inch tail, resembling a short finger.

Ayeka: ...a what?
Ryoko: Guess it's your turn now, huh?

>A: "Well, we do. And it's very sensitive. 

Tenchi (does an eye pop): No. No way hiccup _can't_ be thinking of having me err 
	 (points at Tenchi on screen) him do that.
Lee (quirking an eyebrow): What are you talking about, Tenchi?
Tenchi: What usually happens to things that "look like fingers" and are 
	"sensitive" in lemons?!
(The others just look at him, not quite getting it.)
Tenchi: *sigh* Do you remember what happened to the "me" in the second story we 
	did tonight?
Ryoko: Yeah. He woke up with the that fics version of me su-... oh...
(Ayeka starts dry heaving again as she realizes what Tenchi's been getting at.)
Lee: I'm just going to pretend you didn't say that.

>Why do you think we normally hide it 
>between our cheeks?" She looks behind Tenchi. "It seems that Sasami is really 
>enjoying herself." Pointing at the tail of Sasami, which wags in a happy way. 

Alex (from the booth): Guys, I think hiccup just indirectly called Sasami and 
	Ayeka bitches.
(Ayeka suddenly stops retching and sits up calmly.)
Ayeka: The author is going to suffer.

>T: "That's how I noted that."
>
>A: "Don't humans have one?"

Tenchi and Lee (practically laughing): No.
Ayeka: And neither do Juraians.
Ryoko: Some of my clothes do.

>T: "Nope." He looks at the rest. "Anyone else here got a surprise like that?"

Ryoko: Knowing this author somebody probably is hiding a second head somewhere.
Everyone else but Michael: Ryoko!

>Mihoshi and Kiyone looked over at him and shook their heads. Washu simply 
>giggled and went back into the water to relax herself.

Tenchi: Ryoko, for all our sakes you had better not have been right.

>Relieved Tenchi went back to his plan seeing that Sasami and Ryoko hadn't 
>stopped yet. 

Alex (From the booth): I'd make an energizer bunny joke, but... nah.

>He reached over Sasami and wrapped his arms around her from behind. 
>Kissing her neck, while his penis touched her sex, but did not enter it. 

Tenchi (as the fic's Tenchi): I can't do it! It's just too wrong.

>Sasami 
>cooed from the sudden touch, but didn't stop with Ryoko. She started to wriggle 
>her but a bit until she managed to get the tip of Tenchi's cock in her entrance 

Lee: Sadly, she doesn't seem to have that problem.
(Tenchi sighs in defeat.)

>and then impaled herself. 

(All the girls wince.)
Ryoko: Did hiccup HAVE to put that way.

>She did this so fast that it caught Tenchi off guard, 

Tenchi: Because if I would have had time, I'd have dodged.

>but he soon started to return her effort. 

Ayeka (coldly): You were saying.
Tenchi: Ayeka, that isn't me up there, so would you please stop starring at me 
	that way.

>Predicting according to what Sasami 
>just did Tenchi went for a more aggressive mode. Hard and fast. Luckily, he 
>guessed right. Sasami's cries of joy were only muffled by the fact that her 
>mouth was occupied with Ryoko's crotch, 

Ryoko: Lets just ignore that bit.
Ayeka: Let us just ignore this entire scene.
Lee: Little late for that don't you think?

>otherwise a few people would need some 
>healing for their eardrums. 

Tenchi: Kinda like needing some proper grammer for that sentence.

>As Tenchi felt the building of his orgasm 

Lee: We'll be building that orgasm here.
Ayeka: Must we?
Lee: First thing we need to do is lay the foundation.
Tenchi: Did you have to say lay?

>he started 
>to say so out loud. This did not slow down Sasami one bit as she made up for his 
>slowed down pace by going faster herself. As she felt a sudden rush of warmth in 
>herself she stuck out her tongue even further into Ryoko, pulling both herself 
>and Ryoko over the edge of orgasm.

Ryoko: Please tell me it's over.

>As Tenchi pulled out a stream of semen and Sasami's juices hung from the tip of 
>his prick to Sasami's cunt. 

Alex (From the booth): I think the operative word here is "yuck."

>Before it could get broken Kiyone brought her tongue 
>to the starting point on Sasami. Giving the young princess a deep tongue in her 
>crack before moving sensually yet fast to get all of it into her mouth until the 
>reached Tenchi's tip. 

Everyone: YU-U-UCK!

>She visibly swallowed and then went back down covering 
>Tenchi with her hot mouth. 

Lee: She must have a huge mouth if she can fit Tenchi's entire body in there.
(The others stare at him nervously.)
Lee: What?

>Playing with her tongue across his entire length 

Ryoko (as Kiyone's tongue): Ha ha ha, straight flush!
Ayeka: ...this entire story down the toilet.

>several times before quickly deep throating him for a short time. Pushing her 
>hand against his chest making him lay down. As he finally lay down Kiyone 
>stopped sucking him off and moved herself above him. At the same time Mihoshi 
>crawled over to his face. His mind went fast enough to know what they wanted. 

Tenchi (sarcastically): Oh I wonder what could possible come next.
Alex (From the booth): My money's on Kiyone.
Tenchi: D'oh!
Lee: That's why I kept telling you not to use the word "come" during a lemon.

>While Kiyone was penetrated by his shaft, Mihoshi would get some tongue. Make 
>that tongues, 

(Everyone blinks at the last phrase.)
Tenchi: Now wait just a minute!
Lee: All the girls but Kiyone have displayed some odd physical trait, and now it
 	looks like it's your turn, Tenchi.
Ryoko: That makes no sense at all.
Tenchi: The whole reason the fic's me thought it was so strange was because I 
	had body like other earthlings. How can Hiccup say I've got more than one
 	tongue?
Lee: Earthlings?
Tenchi: Well, human doesn't seem right. The girls are just as human as anyone
 	else after all.

>as Kiyone kisses her GP lover intensely. 

Everyone: Ooohhh. I get it.

>Unfortunately Kiyone's 
>time was only short as Tenchi started to fill her up with his latest batch of 
>semen.

Alex (From the booth): Glad nobody took me up on that bet. I can't afford to 
	lose any more money.

>Kiyone got off and Mihoshi switched to her place, going down on his barely 
>recovered member. She treated him to an entirely new sensation, she didn't go up 
>and down on him, yet the feeling of just that was there. Her face was very 
>blissful. And the sensation went up a gear. Kiyone now stood with her crotch at 
>Mihoshi's face, who eagerly started to ear her out. Tasting both Kiyone and 
>Tenchi. 

Tenchi: That... is really disturbing.
Ayeka: Not to mention disgusting.

>While reaching underneath Kiyone, Tenchi started to play with the two 
>large bouncy globes in front of him. 

(There is a large round of sweatdrops, blushing, and sounds of gagging.)
Lee (in shock): A she-male. Hiccup made Kiyone a she-male.
Ryoko (recovering a little): Well, at least now I know it's not just me and the 
	princess that authors abuse that way.

>They felt really soft. He heard a cry from 
>Kiyone and felt liquid falling on his belly and arms. 

Tenchi (with tears streaming down his face): I can't believe I just stroked 
	Kiyone into an orgasm by rubbing her testicles...

>He saw her legs quiver, 

Ayeka (lip quivering): I, I, I, I want my mommy!
Alex (From the booth): Don't give the authors ideas, Ayeka.

>but saw how Mihoshi managed to keep her standing. 

Ryoko: With the strings the author has been using to make all of these cheap 
	knock-offs of us dance to his twisted little tune?
(Everyone else turns to look at Ryoko with surprise and a certain degree of 
awe.)
Ryoko (sweatdrop): What?
Ayeka: Miss Ryoko, you may just be right.
Ryoko: Huh?
Tenchi: This might be retelling of the sickest puppet show I've ever heard of.
(Lee nods.)

>After a minute Kiyone was 
>guided away by Aeka. 

Lee: Yeah, if you look really hard I think you can make out the strings.
(Meanwhile, in the booth Alex is bring up a file entitled "warning signs off MST 
induced dementia.)

>Now that he had a bit more clear view he could see 
>Mihoshi's stomach contract a bit at the rhythm of the up and down movement he 
>felt. He really felt how wet his loins were getting from what Mihoshi was 
>producing now. As it contacted his balls he felt a special burning sensation 

Micheal (from under his seat): That was a sure sign that he'd have to go to the 
	free clinic for a shot in the morning.
(Scowling, Lee kicks the seat.)
Michael: Eep!

>there and before he knew he started to shoot his jism 

Ayeka: There it is. The one word found in all award winning literature.
Ryoko: A bit sarcastic there?
Ayeka: Well, perhaps just a little.

>inside of the dark blonde. 
>This made Mihoshi loose it too. 

Tenchi: Guys, I'm afraid that they aren't puppets. That's just some vomit that 
	splattered on the screen when we threw the sick bags at it earlier.
Lee, Ayeka, and Ryoko: Oh, poopie.
(In the booth, Alex closes the file on MST induced dementia.)

>As he finally stopped ejaculating nearly a 
>minute later. 

Tenchi: He died of dehydration and exhaustion.

>Mihoshi's eyes were already closed and she simply fell down on top 
>of him, asleep. Tenchi too felt totally spend and fell asleep too.

Ayeka: I do wish this Hiccup person would choose a tense.

>When he woke up a few minutes later he noted that Mihoshi had been dragged off 
>of him and lay asleep on a blanket nearby, Sasami next to her on one side and 
>Ryoko on the other side. Next to Ryoko lay Washu and next to her lay Kiyone, all 
>on blankets. He sat up and stared up at Aeka who was the only one left awake.

Ryoko: Assuming you don't count Tenchi.
Lee: Of course.

>A: "Lord Tenchi, I hope you enjoyed yourself." 

Ayeka: Because we are NEVER doing it again.
Tenchi: Suits me. After this experience I'm thinking of turning celibate.
Ryoko and Ayeka: *Urk*
Tenchi: Jeez, it was just a joke.

>She smiled and sat down next to 
>him. "At least I am sure I could be very happy with this."

Ayeka: I could NOT!

>T: "Lady Aeka, I certainly felt very good, but now I'm totally spent. Hopefully 
>like training for swordplay, I hope to get more endurance practicing love." 

Alex (From the booth): That is the lamest excuse for masturbation I've ever 
	heard.
Everyone else: Alex!
Alex (From the booth): What? You've heard a worse one?

>He 
>smiled warmly and hugged her. "Otherwise I'll probably die young and happy."
>
>They just sat there for a few minutes.
>
>T: "I realized something Aeka."

Tenchi: This all incredibly wrong.
Lee: And OOC.

>A: "Yes lord Tenchi?"

Ayeka: I agree.
Ryoko: The author should pay.

>T: "Like with your tail 

(Ayeka grimaces.)

>and a few other things I saw this evening

(Ryoko shudders and crosses her arms in front of her chest.)

> I realized I 
>know so little about your lives on other planets. 

Everyone: Huh?

>I barely ever consider that 
>the rules of this house can be so different from your own home. 

Tenchi (gape-mouthed): He... he actually has a point. *blink* *blink*

>Tomorrow I want 
>to talk to you all about this, to learn more about all of you."

Tenchi: That's a good idea... I think we should skip the orgy though.

>A: "I think that that is very wise of you." As she leans on his shoulder.

Ayeka: I... still want to hurt the author, but amazingly I no longer have the 
	urge to kill him.
Lee: Remember what he did to Sasami?
Ayeka: Okay. He gets a quick death.

>T: "I think that I'm the luckiest person in the world."

Ryoko: Hey, Hiccup finally spelled it right.
Alex (From the booth): It's offical. Somebody else wrote the ending of this.
Tenchi: Well, that would explain a lot.

>---

>Yahoo, it's finished. 

Everyone but Michael and Lee: YAHOO! So are we!
Lee: We still have to finish the author's notes guys. Then... most of us are 
	free to go.
(Michael gulps.)

>Took long enough, 

Ryoko: Yeah. No kidding.

>but here is a new twist of the tale. I 
>hope you enjoyed it, 

Tenchi: We didn't.

>I certainly did. 

Ayeka: You would.

>Well, comments, praise 

Alex (From the booth): Praise? Bwahahahahahahahahha...
Ryoko: She's starting to worry me again.
Ayeka: I believe the stress might have been too much for her.
Lee: Don't worry. MST induced dementia is usually temporary.

>or flames, send 
>them to: Eucep@yahoo.com

Everyone: *Eucep* (They look at each other for a second shrug and go back to
finishing the fic.)

>I came up with it contemplating about the difference in biology of humans and 
>aliens. 

Lee: Ya don't say.

>It was sparked by another lemon wherein Ryoko unlike a human had milk in 
>her breasts all the time. 

(Ryoko grumbles to herself. Something about perverted writers and blenders.)

>Of course this also includes alien believes about sex.

Alex (From the booth): Looks like Hiccup wrote his own author's notes.

>I also am now thinking about some other famous female aliens, like Lum. How 
>'human' are they (besides the obvious ones).

(Lee shakes his head sadly.)

>---

>Part three, Epilogue: Stunning facts.

Everyone (staring at the screen): WHAT!!!??!!!
Ayeka: How dare he. Forget everything I said about a quick death. For this cruel
 	joke, he shall suffer.

>Azusa: "So you are now engaged to that offspring of Yosho?"

Ayeka and Ryoko: Huh?

>A: "Yes father."

Ayeka (smiling blissfully): All is forgiven.
Ryoko (clenching her fists): I am going to slice and dice this guy.

>Azusa: "So you won from Ryoko at last."

Tenchi (very nervous): Um, Ryoko?
(Ryoko's eyes have started to glow red. Ayeka is still off in happyland.)

>A: "No father." She smiles at the ruler of a big part of the known universe. 
>"She'll be his second wife."

(Ryoko suddenly shifts from rage to an expression that matches Ayeka's.)
Ryoko: Oh, my Tenchi...
(Tenchi sits there unsure what, if anything, he should do.)

>Azusa: "Figures, to bad tough for the other females, they seemed pretty attached 
>to him, Sasami especially."

Lee (as Tenchi): Stupid crazy glue.

>A: "That won't be a problem."

Tenchi: It won't?

>Azusa: "Ehrm, what do you mean my daughter?"

Lee: Tell me the Emperor of Jurai did not just do a Tim Allen impression.
Alex (From the booth): Okay, but I'll be lying.
Lee: Forget it.

>Aeka walks over to him and whispers something into his ear.

Lee: If she's telling him that he's about to become both a grandfather and
 	great-great-grandfather, I don't know if I'll laugh or scream.
Tenchi: Ack!

>Azusa: "SIX EMPRESSES!?!" Faints, remembering how draining two empresses can be.

*THA-WUMP*
(Lee looks over and sees that Ryoko and Ayeka are still lost in la la land. 
Tenchi, like Azusa on screen, is on the ground unconscious.)
Lee: Can't say I blame him.

>Misaki: "Oh my, Tenchi is even worse than our husband sister."
>
>Funaho: Nods. "Somewhere I expected this." Sighs.
>
>A very happy ending. ^.^

(With and audible pop the girls snap out of their daze, and Tenchi bolts to his 
feet.)
Tenchi, Ayeka, and Ryoko: It's over? It's really over?

>

Alex (from the door exiting the booth): Yep. It's over.
(Tenchi and the girls leave the theater at a run cheering far more loudly than 
when they first got the job.)
Lee (grinning wickedly and cracking his knuckles): Now, Mike, let's have that 
	little talk.
Michael (from under his chair): Ah hell...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

	"How long do you think they're going to be in there?" Ryoko asked Tenchi.
	"I have no idea."
	From inside the theater another loud crash signaled they end of another 
large piece of equipment. "Take that you lazy, good-for-nothing, scrawny, 
idiot!" Michael's voice carried rather well when he was angry. "Uh, what are 
doing... Hey, wait. You can't be..."
	The guests winced as a metallic sound not unlike a huge gong being struck 
reverberated through the lobby only to be followed by another crash.
	"I am not certain what that was, but it certainly sounded painful." Ayeka 
commented.
	Ryoko nodded. "I'm glad we aren't that bad, princess."
	Tenchi sweatdropped as he remembered how they had destroyed two businesses 
earlier today, but wisely said nothing.
	"How'd ya like that you overstuffed, traitorous, sleazy, closet hentai of 
a fanboy!" Lee laughter had taken on something of a maniacal edge early on, but 
the guests had got used to it by now.
	"Did he just say 'sneezy'?" Tenchi asked of no one in particular.
	"I think they're starting to get tired." Ryoko said. "Their insults aren't 
nearly as bad as they were half an hour ago."
	"Well, my mother has deposited our pay into the stations petty cash 
account, and I have to say it hardly seems petty now." Alex enter the theater's 
lounge grinning. Her expression soon changed as she the sounds of carnage 
reached her ears. "You have got to be kidding me. Are they still at it?"
	"Yes." Tenchi answered to tired to care if the question was rhetorical or 
not.
	Alex sighed. "Idiots. Anyway, the new large scale replicator has been 
ordered. It should be here within a week."
	Ryoko smiled at the young woman. "Great. Then you can send us home, 
right?"
	"Well, I still have to set it up, replicate the needed parts, and repair 
the MDPCCC(tm). After that though, yeah." Alex answered.
	"Alex, should we really just leave them fighting?" Tenchi asked.
	Alex opened her mouth to answer, but before she could say anything the 
large form of Michael came sailing through the main doors to the theater. After 
crashing to the floor, he continued to roll for several yards before coming to a 
stop. The others turned from him back towards the doors. There stood the 
stations leader, battered, bloodied, and gasping for breath. "Don't you EVER 
pull something like that again you, you..." Before he could finish his insult 
Lee's eye rolled upwards and he fell backwards with a resounding crash.
	The others looked on speechless. From behind them they heard movement. 
Turning they saw Michael sitting up shakily, swaying slightly from side to side. 
" Well, this is one the stupidest things I've ever done, and that's saying 
something." With that Michael also fell back, unconscious.
	"How about we take these guys to sick bay for treatment, and call it a 
night?" Tenchi suggested after an awkward moment of silence.
	"Agreed." Ryoko, Ayeka, and Alex chorused.
</MST>

<Author's Notes>
	Well, that's two, and boy was that last one was painful. It's been a while 
since the first MST. I just can't seem to find the time to do this as often as 
I'd like. Still, I plan to continue as my schedule allows. In regards to the 
second story, I don't really think you plagiarized. I just could resist the 
joke.
	So, did you find all the references in this one? It's not really that 
hard, but I thought it be fun to incorperate a few as a game of sorts. Need a 
hint? Okay here's one in riddle form. "Stoners seeing visions of a great god of 
old tended by seven lesser beings."
	All of that aside, why not tell me what you thought? Love it? Hate it? 
Have some advise? Wonder why I waste my time? Then drop me a line at

	nullstate@nullstate.com

	Later.
</Author's Notes>