Disclaimer: Aside from the two main MSTers, Buck and Tyler, I do not own any character contained within this fanfic (and technically, I'm only a co-owner of Tyler. I didn't create the character, but I have been granted carte blanche by his official creator). They are owned by their respective companies, be it AIC/Pioneer (Washuu), Toei/Funimation (Vegeta) or the company that owns today's special guest, which will be given at the end... don't want to spoil this surprise. Of course, if I had the ability to pay those companies for use of their characters, I wouldn't need this disclaimer, and I more than likely would be doing something more useful with that money than giving it to THEM. "Dirty Cops" is property of Sunrise and ADV Films... no sorry, that's Dirty PAIR. This steaming pile is intellectual property of Dojin Diaster (ShinobiYuffie@aol.com"), who graciously allowed me to do this MST... though he/she's probably forgotten about it by now, judging by the fact that I started this like three months ago. Damn college work taking time away from what's REALLY important ^_^ ---------------------------------------------- (Buck "The Hustler" Floyd and Tyler G. Dunning, MSTers extraordinaire...) Tyler: You're awfully confident of your own writing abilities, aren't you? (Based on the fact that I have received literally no negative feedback thus far, I have every right to be. Come on, somebody take me down a peg or two! Anyway, they are standing in front of the Masaki residence. Buck, who has removed all traces of the blond hair dye he had applied before the last experiment, knocks on the door and it is answered by Sasami.) Sasami: Oh, welcome back you two. Washuu is waiting for you, and Vegeta's already down there. BF: Thanks, Sasami. (The two men make their way to the dimensional doorway and enter what many people consider one of the most dangerous places in the universe, the laboratory of Washuu Hakubi. She greets them enthusiastically.) Washuu: Great to see you again! BF: You can't possibly be as happy to see us as I am to see you, Washuu-chan. Washuu: That's true. But regardless, it's been a long time since you were here last. BF: You worried I'd forgotten about you? Never happen. Tyler: Oh, of course not... *coughEDcough* BF: Are you gonna be all right there, Tyler? You seem to have a cold... Tyler: Never mind. I think it was lost on you. Vegeta: Some of our readers as well, I'd imagine... Washuu: Well, I hope you guys are ready to tackle another round of what passes as fanfiction these days. Vegeta: What is it this time? Wait wait, I think I can guess... it's another lemon, isn't it? Washuu: That's a pretty good guess. The last one you had was rather mild, but... BF: Mild isn't even the word... what little lemon content there was wasn't even shown. Not that I'm complaining, mind you... Tyler: But it was very, very long. Though I suppose the non-lemony bit was there purely for back story? Washuu: Exactly. And since the sheer boredom of sitting through a lengthy series of bad fic didn't sap your wills, this time we're going for shock value. Tyler: Don't talk to me about shock value. I've seen enough porn to know what to expect from anything. BF: I wouldn't say that... remember "At the Carrot Patch"? Tyler: *shudder* I stand corrected. This doesn't involve animals, vegetables, and children like that one did, does it? Because if it does, so help me... Washuu: No, nothing that severe. This one is about Mihoshi and Kiyone. Tyler: Well what are we waiting for? Let's bring on the special guest and get this thing started! (Tyler runs toward the Allain and begins to bang on the hull.) Washuu: Hey, that's delicate equipment! BF: Yeah! Stop making things difficult for our gracious host! Vegeta: I'd like to think that a gracious host wouldn't torture her guests. BF: Ah, but any torture is like heaven on earth when in the presence of such genius, such beauty, such... Vegeta: Such a waste of your time? BF: Exactly... huh? No! Well at least, I certainly hope not. Washuu: So, Buck, who do you want accompanying you on this trip? It is your turn to pick, you know. BF: Well, gee... I really can't think of anyone I'd rather have with me than y... Tyler (from near ship): Just say Urd! BF: Urd? What? Washuu: Urd it is. BF: But I didn't... (Buckeroo doesn't have time to protest as the goddess of love from Ah! Megami-sama appears in the typical flash of blue light that accompanies these transports. She looks only slightly confused, as compared to Jinnai and Vegeta before her.) Urd: Hold on one second... I'm used to going from place to place at a moment's notice, but... where's the TV screen that I was supposed to come out of? Vegeta: What's she jabbering about? Tyler: The three goddesses from that series have different modes of transportation... Belldandy uses mirrors, Skuld uses hot water, and she uses a television. It was kind of interesting to see her squeeze through the 13-inch that Keiichi had. Urd: He most certainly does NOT have a... oh, the TV, right. Wait a minute, are you saying I'm fat? Tyler: Lord no. But you have certain protrusions that made it appear rather difficult to get into his house from there. (Urd turns sideways to show off those "protrusions.") Urd: You noticed, eh? Tyler: How could I not? Urd: I like you already. You're a lot more forward than most of the other people I know. Now why am I here? Washuu: Well, you're here to watch a bad fanfic with these three gentlemen, and hopefully throw in a witty comment every now and again. Urd: Please tell me it's a good lemon. BF: You're half right. Urd: Oh... well, how bad could it really be? Sex is meant to be fun and a little dirty, so why should writers sugarcoat that? (Vegeta takes Tyler aside.) Vegeta: She's the goddess of LOVE, you say? Tyler: Well... not quite. She's A goddess, and she professes to be the Cupid of Love. Her methods are a little inscrutable, but she usually she gets the job done. Vegeta: Wait one damn minute... are you telling me that the reason you suggested bringing her here is...? Tyler *whispering*: Shh! Yes! Now keep it down! (Washuu calls from near the table with today's author strapped to it.) Washuu: Hey! If you people are about finished, I think we should get started soon. Science is ever-advancing, and if we don't get a move on, it's going to pass us by. Well, not ME, of course, but... just get in. (The crew meander toward the ship. As they file in, Tyler can be seen whispering something to Urd. She looks back toward Washuu, then quietly enters the ship, and the hatch is closed.) Washuu: Wonder what that was all about... (Washuu commences the shrinkification process on the MST Allain. Once the ship has gone through said process, Washuu picks it up and carried it toward a long metal table with today's fanfic author strapped down to it.) Washuu: Experiment #MST004: "Dirty Cops" by Dojin Diaster. Are you ready, Dojin? Dojin: No, but let's get it over with anyway. Washuu: That's the spirit! Oh, I just have to know one thing. Do you work for Sega or Squaresoft? I mean, based on your e-mail address, I would think at least one of them... Dojin: What? Washuu: Never mind. (The ship is gently placed into the author's mouth and swallowed.) Urd: How positively Freudian... BF: You just find everything sexual, don't you? Urd: And the problem is? (The ship travels through the mind of Dojin, passing through childhood memories, secret recipes, and forgotten freshness [Forgotten Freshness is a registered trademark of the Insane Clown Posse... yeah, I'm a juggalo, so what?]. It finally comes to rest in the part of the author's consciousness responsible for creativity.) Urd: So now what? (A translucent screen rises up out of the gray matter the ship is sitting on.) Urd: Oh. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Alrighty people its time for a decent Mihoshi/Kiyone lemon. But as always I'll take a new twist to this =B so har har if your into the regular lesbo acts. Tyler: All RIGHT! This should be good... no Tenchi to louse things up. BF: I must say that, as a general rule, I find scenes like this between two women to be much more stimulating both emotionally and... well... anyway, the problem I have is the characters they're using. After all, there are three Tenchi girls that should never be seen in a lemon scene... Vegeta: Sasami, Yugi, and Achika? BF: Okay, five Tenchi girls that should never be in a lemon scene... I forgot about Achika, and I tend to block the fact that I ever saw Shin from my mind. But in addition to those three, there are Washuu... mainly for personal reasons... and Mihoshi, just because she's so damn innocent. Taking this into account, Kiyone should, as a general rule, not be in one either. Mainly because it just plain doesn't make sense to put her with any of the others. So this fic is off to a bad start already. Urd: Heh heh... personally I PREFER the traditional scene, but this may prove good as well. BF: I will say that women usually tend to be much more tender with each other... that's the kind of lover I want. Tyler: Well, notwithstanding the girl-girl scenes in most adult videos, which are primarily for men anyway, you're probably right. Vegeta: You three seem to be forgetting one important thing. BF: What's that? Vegeta: The "new twist." I'm worried about that. BF: Hmm... Oh ya I do not own these people and this is a mature fanfic but eh you will read it anyway! BF: Not by choice... X.x so lets get going! Dirty Cops No no Mihoshi, don't! I can just get it fixed!" But as always, the bumbling GP had Tyler: Already gotten to her wayward puppy with a pair of tweezers. BF: Ouch... Urd: Real do-it-yourselfer this guy... now come across something that needed help. This unlucky victim this time was Kiyones' new laptop especially useful for work. "Don't worry Kiyone, I'm sure I can fix it!" Tyler: With... Vegeta: You say it again, and you're in trouble. squealed the tanned detective as she fooled around with more adhesives and tools in Washus' lab, convinced in her abilities. "Now where is it? It has to be around somewhere" Mihoshi flicked back a strand of blonde hair and set to work. BF: She was looking for a strand of her hair? Tyler: Must have been... after all, once she moved it, she got right down to breaking... I mean, fixing Kiyone's laptop. Now that headache grew once more in Kiyone's temple as she growled angrily again. "You wouldn't need to fix it if you listen to what I said" How could Mihoshi know eating, cooking, and typing all at the same time couldn't be done without some tragic accident? Urd: I don't see much of a problem with that as long as... wait, who keeps a laptop in a cooking area? Tyler: Apparently Mihoshi... BF: Don't you dare say that that makes her stupid. Or do I have to bring out my KOME card again? Tyler: No, that's okay. BF: Just give me an excuse... it's laminated now, it looks great. Urd: What's KOME? Tyler: The Knightly Order of Mihoshi Enthusiasts. Vegeta: Completely overprotective of that ditz too, might I add. BF: Well, she needs it! Being constantly bombarded with insinuations that she's some kind of mental inferior... it's sad, really. Well hard did Mihoshi try as her partner was secluded from the lab room. "What's she doing down there anyway?" Asked the mad genius Washu Tyler: She does seem a little upset with Mihoshi today... as she walked to Kiyone and the door, which loud thinking was heard from within. Urd: So is it Washuu or Kiyone who can hear what other people are thinking, then? Kiyone sighed, "She's trying to fix something for me EVEN when I told her not to touch the laptop at all." "Well I suppose it must be serious, what with that dumb blonde not even paying attention to the sign," BF: She's not dumb, dammit! It's not like this is Shin or anything... Tyler: Do we know this for sure? BF: Uh... no, but I'm giving the author the benefit of the doubt here. Kiyone gave a questionable quirk then looked to the sign with the GP detectives face on it, and over it a big red circle with a red line going through it, instantly having a few sweatdrops pour out in frustration. BF: Much as I love Washuu, no matter WHAT continuity this is, perhaps Mihoshi would have paid attention to the sign if it wouldn't have been insulting her intelligence. Try using English on your "Keep out" signs next time, o beauteous one. Washuu (intercom): You do mean Japanese, right? BF: Uh... yes, of course. That's what I meant, all right. Washuu (intercom): I'll remember that if you remember that these fic authors aren't exactly authorities on what goes on in the Masaki household. (Buck slaps his forehead.) BF: D'oh! Right... it just seems like it's so real... As the time pass Kiyone temper rose. As she was now banging onto the hard wood door with her fist "MIHOSHI GET OUT THE BASEMENT NOW BEFORE I..." The next few words were muffled bye a swinging door in Kiyone jaw, Causing her to hit the floor in a instant with a wail of pain. Vegeta: Mm... yeah, I think my words would be muffled if I had a swinging door in my jaw, too. Just go on talking, all of a sudden your jaw-door swings open and bleah... it's babble time. BF: We're lucky John's not here. Urd: What? Tyler: Inside joke... very inside. In fact, if anyone outside of the three mailing lists we belong to understand that, I will personally come to your front door and perform a striptease. (Rest of crew sweatdrops.) Vegeta: I think it would be a better incentive if Urd made that promise. Urd: Forget it. Why do something as a reward that I would have no qualms about doing regardless? (Tyler frantically writes something down and hands it over to Urd.) Urd: What's this? Tyler: My home address, what else? I'll keep the TV on for you. And out step Mihoshi with the damaged electronic looking good as new, well if you looked around the masking tape here and there on the screen. "Finished Kiyone!" beamed Mihoshi with a near idiotic grin on her face. BF: That's INNOCENCE, not IDIOCY! For God's sake! Urd: Is he always like this? Tyler: Gets even worse if Washuu is slighted, trust me. Urd: A bit overprotective, is he? BF: OVERprotective? No no, everybody else is UNDERprotective, that's the problem. This was too hard to believe, or focus on as Kiyone shook her head a bit from the hit. "What? Let me see this." Kiyone stood up and yanked the laptop from Mihoshi's hands with a sneer of doubt. "Hm, Well the crack doesn't show.." Vegeta: So THAT'S it! Tyler: What's it? Vegeta: People are getting crack from crooked Galaxy Police offers smuggling it in their laptops! I'm beginning to believe your assertion that Mihoshi isn't stupid, Buck... it's all a clever front. Brilliant idea to BREAK the computer... nobody would have thought anything was different at all when she went to "fix" it. BF: Uh... I think I'd rather you think her stupid than that she and Kiyone are crooked. Stupidity is more forgivable than dishonesty. Kiyone looked more closely as well Washu , who was amazed at the fact that of all people Mihoshi did something right for a change. "Yep Yep! All it took was a few spare parts, glue, and a shiny rod thing for a battery!" Tyler: It's the employee of the month! Urd: The who? Tyler: The inanimate carbon rod! Employee of the month at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, as well as a national hero for saving the crew of the space shuttle by bravely wedging itself into a hole to jerry-rig the hatch closed. I salute you, carbon rod! BF: I'd like to be able to fix a computer with glue... my soldering skills are far from l33t... Mihoshi spoke on. Kiyone was indeed impress for once. Her partner finally fixed her own mistakes "Well..sorry for yelling at you earlier on Mihoshi, you're pretty competent" Urd: There's a compliment worth getting... She apologize as Kiyone looked for the on switch. "Wait a minute...shiny rod?" Washu interrupted. "Where did you get that from Mihoshi?" The blonde girl only gave a small shrug of honesty. "I saw it in that huge tube with the skull and crossbones on it?" "AHHH!!! MIHOSHI THAT ISNT A BATTERY THAT'S!" BF (Washuu): That's the death rod! Vegeta: The first guy to be killed in Outlaw Star? Tyler: That's Death ROB. Vegeta: Right. BF (Washuu): Do you have any idea what that death rod is going to do? Here's a hint... it involves DEATH!!! Kiyone flicked on the switch as Washu was about to finish. "Ha?" Vegeta (Kiyone): I don't really know if this is funny or not... it's a tentative "Ha." Tyler: Doesn't know if it's funny? She must be listening to our jokes, then... Urd: I haven't heard anything really bad just yet... BF: Wait for it... it'll come... "DANGER! DANGER! CDHDAOPBHOEHOA GOBBLES!!!" Crew: TIMMY!!! KA-BLAMMO! Tyler: Tsk... somebody's misusing the highly sophistimicated dowhackey that is the matter transportation device again. After all, one wrong move and KA-BLAMMO! Urd: Though Tyler does seem to rely on relating things to The Simpsons a bit too much... ".uranium." Washu coughed out the last word, as she began to peel her self off the wall she was blasted into. (Buck is staring at the screen in abject terror.) BF: It's only a fanfic... this didn't REALLY happen... Washuu-chan is FINE... only a story... bwee... Urd: Would resting your head on my chest make you feel any better? BF: Actually, it would make me feel worse, but thanks for the offer anyway. Tyler: Does that offer stand for any of us? Urd: No. Tyler: Aww... Kiyone was in a state of tears as she noticed the lab that self detonated itself now disintegrate into dust." MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHSOSHI!!!!!" On hearing her name yelled in rage Mihoshi stared on the from the blast, her face covered in black soot like Kiyone and Washu. Vegeta (Mihoshi): Santa? Urd (Kiyone): Uh-oh... please don't sit on my lap, Mihoshi... Tyler: Yeah, that'll come later... OW! BF: Don't remind me. "um...heh heh. Kiyone I had no idea that was- EEEEE!!" And off The detective went sprinting down the hall like a scared puppy. BF (Jim Ross): Oh my! She's taking off like a scalded dog! This has been a real slobberknocker, says good ol' JR! Tyler: What, no Sooners references? No "educated feet" or "young stud"? BF: Even JR himself can't cram all of his catch phrases into one exchange. Besides, we're watching a lemon... I'd rather not mention a young stud, or one just might show up. Urd: You mean Tenchi? That's rich... BF: Point... "MIHOSHI GET BACK HERE!" Kiyone also took off in pursuit after Mihoshi in a burst of rage and with a head of steam. BF: After Kiyone's head turned into steam, it quickly dissipated throughout the room, leaving Kiyone headless, and the story over. Urd: You want this to end? We haven't even gotten to the juicy parts yet. Tyler: A woman just as perverted as most of the guys I know? Did I ever tell you that I love you? "Cmon Kiyone it was a accident!!" Cried the bronzed girl as she took a sharp turn flailing and slipping the way out. Vegeta: You'd think that after someone has been bronzed, they wouldn't be able to be so mobile. "YA THE LAST ACCIDENT YOUR GONNA EVER HAVE, MIHOSHI!!!" Having put up with her partners' accident too long Kiyone finally leaped forward and grasped tackled Mihoshi into a two-gal tumble. Tyler: *blows whistle* Two-gal tumble! Five yards and loss of down! Rest of crew: Boooo! You suck, ref! Slip and slide went the GP tornado into the living room, screaming and arguing increasing each second. As it, ended Kiyone pinned Mihoshi to the floor still in her semi madness. Tyler (Kiyone): *breathes rasply* Now you listen to me, Mihoshi... we are going to go down to the truckstop and take a look at those 18-wheelers... they're so... big and... stuff. Vegeta (Mihoshi): You know something, Kiyone? Your semi madness is starting to get the better of you... I'm here to help. "GOT YOU! YOU BUTTERFINGERED KLUTZ!" As they slide more forward until the rug stopped them. "Er...Kiyone?" Mihoshi looked up to the detective's face a bit concerned "You should get off me. people might think were well.." "WELL WHAT!" Kiyone interrupted Mihoshi shouting, causing the girl to wince a little BF (Mihoshi): Well, fighting... and we really don't want to enforce the stereotypes any more than we already have, you know... Urd (Kiyone): You have a point... okay, I'll get off of you... afterward... BF: No! Bad Urd! Urd: Hey, you invited me. BF: Dammit, I was tricked! Urd: So you don't like me, then? *Urd sulks* BF: No, it's not that, it's just... *pause* You're just trying to lay a guilt trip on me, aren't you? Urd: *stops sulking* Indeed I am! (Urd glomps Buck, who promptly panics.) BF: Hey, leggo! Tyler: Calm down, lucky bastard. BF: No calm down... other woman arms on me... no good, don't like... why talk like caveman? Vegeta: She's awfully hands-on for a self-professed Cupid of Love. "Well.funny." If they already did not seem strange to most, Sure enough Aeka and Ryoko actually peeled their eyes off the T.V screen long enough to see Kiyone ontop of Mihoshi. Numerous sweatdrops poured out of the blue-hair girl. Tyler: That's teal. Blue would be Sasami. Vegeta (Ayeka): Oh, never mind... they're just having lesbian sex again, nothing out of the ordinary. And now back to the TV... no no, buy a vowel! BF: Please let go of me... Urd: *laughs* BF: I'm not kidding. Get off. Urd: Is that an invitation? BF: NO!!! Look, Tyler would welcome this sort of thing. Why are you torturing me when he would enjoy it? Urd: I think you just answered your own question. BF: *pause* Right... Buckeroo no baka... "Ahh! Screw it!" Kiyone released Mihoshi wrist and threw the fist down at the girls' face. BF: What? (Buck stands up quickly, breaking Urd's grip suddenly.) BF: Hmm... well, that's taken care of at least... but no! Don't threaten to harm Mihoshi, and don't have Kiyone so out of character! She may get angry at her partner a lot, but she would never do something like that. I demand justice! Fire torpedoes! Tyler: We don't have any... BF: Vegeta? Vegeta: Aye-aye, cap'n! (Buck opens the hatch. Vegeta flies out and fires a ki blast toward the screen. The blast goes right through the screen and ends up hitting some brain tissue. Flash frame to Washuu at her laptop next to the author, who convulses wildly.) Washuu: Huh? Dojin: Bubblegum cures cancer! Why haven't I ever thrown a bowling ball at Mercer Mayer? Slide, slide! For the love of God, SLIDE!!! Washuu: Damn! I've warned them about this kind of thing before... *gets on intercom* All right guys, you're going to have to come back here temporarily while Dojin here regains some sanity... (Time passes... Tyler and Urd are seen sitting at a small table drinking coffee.) Tyler: Now you're sure this is going to work? Urd: Hey, I'm the Cupid of Love, remember? Of course it will work, as long as she drinks that tea she was making. Tyler: Good... I'm sick of seeing him endlessly fawn over her. Maybe if that love is reciprocated, he won't be so unbearable at times. Urd: I understand. But will he go for this? Tyler: Trust me... anything that gets them together will be better for all of us. Urd: *shrugs* All right... (Buck walks into the room.) BF: Hey, coffee! Where's the pot? Tyler: Over there. BF: Thanks. (Buck pours a cup of coffee just as Washuu appears on the scene.) Urd: Here we go... just watch... BF: Huh? Just watch what? What are you talking abou... (He is interrupted by Washuu attaching herself to his waist.) BF: Whoa, watch the coffee there. I would NOT want to see this spilled on you. Anyway, what brought this on? Washuu: Mmm... I can't believe I never realized how handsome you are before. I could stay like this forever. (Urd and Tyler give each other a thumbs-up under the table.) BF: Well, huh... it's just kind of sudden, is all. Not unwelcome by any means, but... (Suddenly, as if he just had an epiphany, Buck jerks his head around to look at Urd. His eyes narrow into a menacing glare before looking back down at the object of his affection.) BF: Washuu-chan... Washuu: Hmm? BF: Let me look in your eyes... (The former wrestler cradles the beautiful scientist's face in his hands and looks deeply into her emerald eyes. They shimmer with excitement, but that's not all that's there. Buckeroo slowly removes Washuu's arms from around his waist and takes a few steps back.) Washuu: Wh... what's the matter? BF: Not like this... (He turns toward Urd and Tyler.) BF: What the hell is the matter with you two? Did you think I wouldn't notice? Tyler: I have no idea what you're talking about... BF: And you expect me to believe this? I knew you were up to something when you tricked me into calling Urd into this mission. Why did you do this to me? And more importantly, why did you do this to HER? Do you think this is funny? Urd: No, we just thought you'd appreciate... BF: What? Appreciate you screwing around with the emotions of the most perfect being the world has ever seen? (Washuu can be seen smiling slightly.) BF: Look... it's as simple as this. I know what you're capable of, woman... and I have to say that I am not pleased at what you've done here. You treat love as just another plaything... it's so much more than that. You almost ruined Keiichi's life with a misdirected love spell, and now you're setting out to ruin OUR lives with a PROPERLY directed one? I'm not having it. Urd: But... you love her, don't you? BF: Yes, I do. And it's because I love her that I'm not letting this continue. If she ever loves me in return, I want it to be from emotion... from feeling... from choice... but NOT from chemicals! Tyler: She is a scientist... I think the use of chemicals might actually pique her interest. BF: You've got a point, but I don't want to let this happen. Love is far too precious to play with like this. Urd, I want you to call this thing off right now... don't do this to her. Please... (There is so much emotion in this speech, that you could swear Buck was going to break into tears at any minute. Somebody does shed a tear however, and it's not who you'd expect...) Washuu: Buck, I'm... I'm touched... (She hugs Buck again, but this time for a different reason.) Washuu: I knew you wouldn't accept something that way... you never disappoint. BF: You mean... Tyler: You were never... Urd: It didn't work? Washuu: Darned if I know. Never drank the tea. I was making that for someone else. (Zip-pan to Katsuhito drinking some tea.) Katsuhito: Ahh... even better than usual. I must thank Washuu for her... (A glazed look comes over Katsuhito's eyes a second before Mihoshi brings the broom back into the shrine.) Mihoshi: I've finished sweeping the steps, honorable father. What should I do now? Katsuhito: I have a few ideas... Mihoshi: Why are you looking at me like that, sir? Sir? (Back in the lab, the group is still discussing the "love potion" attempt.) Washuu: I do usually take a cup myself, but luckily, I'd been warned that the two of you had something brewing... no pun intended. Tyler: I'm confused... Urd and I were the only ones in on... wait a minute... (Vegeta floats down from the rafters.) Vegeta: Hi there, Tyler! Tyler&Urd: Vegeta? Vegeta: That's right... you really should learn to keep your mouth shut about your plans. "She gets the job done," indeed. BF: Vegeta, do you realize what you've done? Vegeta: Screwed over Tyler, isn't it great? BF: No! You've righted a wrong! (Everyone stares at Vegeta.) Vegeta: Uh... well, I'm not a really bad guy, you know. I did sacrifice my life in an attempt to kill Buu. Tyler: He's got a point. Vegeta: Whatever... when do we get back to work? Washuu: Right about... Dojin (off-screen): Wha... what happened? Washuu: Now. (The description of reentry has been foregone. I never do more than one of those scenes in a single MST. That would get real repetitive, real quick. Suffice to say that they are back in the author's mind, and the fic has restarted.) Mihoshi let out a yelp and moved her head before the blurred punch reached her button nose. Kiyone retracted her hand in pain having it nail a dent in the floor. BF: Or put a dent in the floor, either way you look at it. "AHHHH!!" The bronzed girl took the time to push over Kiyone and take off once more. Kiyone picked her self up and chased after her once more, now being lead back into the basement again. "hey..stop.you two" Washu had now crawled out of the hole towards the door. But now Kiyone was going to end this cat and mouse game as she corned Mihoshi on a wall. Vegeta: So would that make Washuu the mouse? She did just crawl out of a hole and all that... Tyler: And how can Mihoshi be cornered on a wall? You can be backed into a wall, but you're only cornered in a corner. BF: Hey! As Sergeant Semantics, I must object to your stealing my schtick. "Oh no...eee! Kiyone don't hurt me!" Mihoshi begged as she looked around for an exit "Great. Now this headache I've been having ever since I met you is going to go away" Kiyone walked forward with her eyes burning a hole in Mihoshi "Headache?.." The clumsy GP though as she looked to her left again seeing a couple pills. Crew: G-54! Bingo! Tyler: That game was worth a piddling $7.00. We're a very small church. "I can fix your headache Kiyone!" she latched her palms onto the spare pills on the shelf. "Ha? No I don't mean a re-HEY!" Kiyone mouth was soon shoved of the green tinted pills Mihoshi made her swallow down. Urd: So Kiyone swallows unidentified pills... I don't like what this is teaching the kiddies at home. BF: I don't like what you and Tyler are teaching them, either... honestly, how could you? Urd: Look, it's over, and we're sorry, okay? Kiyone gave a sick face and gulped them. "There. You feel better now?" Asked her partner who had the innocent face on once more. "Um.yes for some reason." Kiyone could actually smile having those pains go away but now her body was reacting funny. Soon she made the dreaded. "pee dance" BF: Oh, wonderful... a lemon written by a six-year-old... Vegeta: There seem to be more of those than you might think. Tyler: Pff... you call that a pee dance? I've been taking lessons from a little guy named "Winner"... (Tyler cues up some techno music. The lights flash from red to blue to green and back again several times as Tyler grabs his crotch and thrashes around like a mackerel in a mosh pit. After a few seconds, he sits down.) BF: That sucked, really. Tyler: I said I was taking lessons, not that I was a grand master. Urd: Hmm... with the way you were touching yourself, I'd say you WERE a grand master... or at least a grand masturba... BF: Enough! "AHH DAMNIT MIHOSHI!" was her last words as she ran out the room biting her lip so hard it could bleed. "Wonder if that worked?" though the blonde girl as she stepped out as well. Kiyone reached the bathroom in seconds and shut the door. "Oh damnit what's wrong with me now?" she unzipped her white jeans and just closed her eyes, calming down a bit. BF: We don't need this... we REALLY don't need this... Tyler: I'm inclined to agree on this one. "What am I going to do with that ditz? She is so lazy, incompetent, noisy" Oh the words went on and on as she kept going. "She needs discipline.she needs to be useful.She..hey why am I standing up?" (The crew sweatdrops.) BF: I don't like where this is headed... I REALLY don't like where this is headed... Tyler: I'm inclined to agree on this one. Vegeta: And to take your previous line, Buck... we REALLY don't need this. Urd: Er... it's different, that's for sure... That and the slow dripping sound woke Kiyone up and forced her to look down. Okay. She was going in the toilet. "But.im..not...sitting.dooowwnnn OH MY GOD I HAVE A DICK!!!" Male crew members: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Urd just makes a rather revolted face.) Tyler: Aw man... well, there goes any desire I may have ever had to get into Kiyone's pants. BF: Well, at least SOME good came out of it. Kiyone mentally roared out confused holding the 9inch in her palms all this time "What the fuck happened!? IM A FREAK!? THOSE--PILLS!" Of course, Mihoshi had caused Kiyone another gray hair, but this one was running way down to her pubics. . Staring at urine come out two ways was becoming a bit disgusting. BF: Hearing about it, equally so. Vegeta: Definitely... So she just pressed it back in, but now she could stare at the huge bulge forcing her fancy panties to expand. "oh god this is too much why me?.IM going to get her this tim-- EEP!" At the thought of Mihoshi the new girl penis stretched out in Kiyone's jeans. "Ahh jeez! What's with this thing." Tyler: Excuse me a second, I just happen to have a little something in the back of the ship... (Tyler leaves his seat and rummages around for a second before coming back with a book.) Tyler: Merry Christmas, Kiyone! This sixth grade biology book should explain everything. She spoke under her breath, if anyone knew of this they would be scared out of their minds of it. Now the erection was beginning to cause a small twinge of pain. Tyler: Now that just... don't... happen. Unless you're wearing tight pants at the time... Vegeta: Nobody wants to hear about your boner problems, Tyler. Urd: Mmm... well... (Urd takes a good look at Tyler.) Urd: No... you're right. Tyler: Aww... kinda got my hopes up there, Urd. Urd: I know. I'm cruel like that. "oh well.." Kiyone thought,"Until I tell Washu about it...why not make a negative a positive?" BF: There's no positive here... there's no positive at all... Vegeta: Unless you're counting the blood type that will be spilled out of the author by the bucket if this gets much worse. In small chance of succeeding this, Kiyone decided to keep quiet about it until late at night, so she closed her door when entering it and whipped out the new organ once more, giving it a few looks over. Tyler (Kiyone): Wow, this is a nice organ... I'll bet I can get some great sound out of it once I replace a couple of the tubes... BF: Play "Baby Elephant Walk," Kiyone! "zzzzzz....zzzzz" Mihoshi dozed once more infront of the TV, near slipping off the couch. Kiyone sneaked out the area into the living room quietly, noticing the static on the T.V set. Creeping to her partner The officer wanted to make sure she was knocked out. Vegeta: From what I've read so far, even if she isn't, Kiyone will promptly remedy that. "Mihoshi?...Mihoshi are you awake?" No answer. Good. Kiyone watched as each breath made the bronze girls breasts heave up each time, waking up her new body part in no time. Urd (Kiyone's erm... new appendage): *yawn* Morning, everybody. What's up? Tyler (Kiyone, quietly): You are! Now calm down, people are staring! Without a flinch, Kiyone worked her hands onto Mihoshi's shirt flipping it up easily. Carmel mounds bounced out without any imprisonment of a bra, instead of a normal confused look, Kiyone stared in awe. "Wow...these are massive.." BF: This is bad, and I don't like it. She's taking Mihoshi's innocence! Tyler: You'd think she was Haruna or something. Urd: Who's Haruna? Tyler: Gave Tenchi a bit of a mind-f***, essentially raping him mentally. Urd: That's sick even by my standards. The mind is private. BF: And yet that's exactly what your spells and potions and stuff screw around with... hypocrite. Urd: Actually, my spells just amplify the feelings that one person has for another. The emotion has to actually exist, at least in some small way, for them to work. BF: I still don't like it... Tyler: Give it a rest, already. We tried to help you. BF: And a fine job you did, too, jackass. Tyler: Okay, would it help if I said I was sorry? BF: I honestly don't know... Without a second thought she snaked her hands under the left one and begin to rub it, a small moan emitted from the bronze GP, but increased her breathing a bit as Kiyone began to rub both of them at the same time. Urd: So upon snaking her hand under the left breast, she began to rub... WHAT, exactly? The ribcage? Vegeta: You also have to wonder what happened to the gold and silver GPs... The blue tressed Kiyone saw her partners' nipples also stiffen as a result, she slowly placed one leg over Mihoshi side now sitting on her. Bending down she cupped the erected pink nub into her mouth and licked it without hesitation. All the treatment on the top heavy Mihoshi caused her to stir and moan a little more, but was still sound asleep. BF: This ain't right... Urd: I know... if you're going to take advantage of someone, at least let them be awake enough to enjoy it. Tyler: I dunno... she seems like she's enjoying it enough as is. BF: You're both so wrong... Kiyone now had a grin on her face as she released the nipple from her mouth, having excess spit still keeping them together, and progressed lower. A few seconds and Kiyone found her partners' button on her pants, which she quickly ripped off. Tyler (telemarketer): Hello, button on Mihoshi's pants? I'd like to make you an incredible offer! You can become a Tier One member of our organization, and all you have to do is pay us money for four weeks. The amount you pay on the first day shall only be one penny, and each subsequent day after that you shall double the contribution of the previous day. Ergo, on the first day one cent, on the second day two cents, third day four cents, and so on. Interested? (*author's note... by the end of the four weeks, the button will owe $2,684,354.56*) BF (button): Well, sign me up! This IS a great deal! (*author's note... the button does not HAVE $2,684,354.56*) Tyler: And that's how people are suckered... er, RECRUITED into Scientology. (Buck and Tyler bow.) The hint of white under them made The police girls smile near Cheshire like, pushing Mihoshi pants right off to show her bare legs and the white panties she wore. Kiyone index poked onto the top of the panties on the head of the small penguin on it, BF: Beware of the penguins! Vegeta: A beer commercial reference? That's so lame... Urd&Tyler: WAZZAAAAAAAAPPP? Vegeta: But not as lame as that one. BF: No, you don't understand... I'm giving a fair warning that if this continues, bad things will befall the author. Making another moan gasp from Mihoshi. "She is such a child" (Buck stands up, pointing his finger at Kiyone in a violent rage.) BF: PEDOPHILE! (Buck is pulled back into his seat by Urd.) Urd: It's a figure of speech, for crying out loud... Thought Kiyone about her cute undies, which she pulled to her left to show Her partners pedals, now slick with wetness. Tyler: That's one dangerous bicycle... your feet could slip off those pedals quite easily, and then BAM! Wall. She must really be enjoying this as much as Kiyone was, as she knelt off Mihoshi and stuck her face onto the pussy. She wonder what would happen if she were too. Up came a long...torturous lick on the lovetunnel, causing an instant shriek of surprise in return from Mihoshi, who soon grabbing out to nowhere, latching on some of the couch. Kiyones' pink muscle traveled around inside Mihoshi, BF: Ewww... they could have reworded that SO easily... Urd: You know, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Tyler: You care to test that later? Urd: No. Vegeta: Besides, I can provide proof against... oh, you said human body. Never mind. BF: I'd think the tongue would be YOUR strongest muscle too, Vegeta... after all, your bragging is a lot better than your fighting. Vegeta: Grr... coming out once and again over the top and diving in. Even the pokes of her fingers Mihoshis' rather shocking, true blonde pubic hair, cause the girls' legs to sprawl around with almost loud whimpers. Tyler: Don't touch it, Kiyone, you'll get electrocuted. BF: You know, that's not such a bad idea at this point... electrifying private parts will keep these things from getting so horrendous. One touch and ZAP! Oh, how I love conditioning... Vegeta: Me too. It's not every guy who can pull off this hairstyle, and it takes time and painstaking effort to get it to... (Everybody is staring at Vegeta.) Vegeta: What? "zz ..,Oh..ooooh!" That did it. The blonde hair Mihoshi had her limit, one loud moan and she gushed helplessly in orgasm, spraying in Kiyone's face with her liquids." BF: I think I'm going to be sick... Urd: It's a natural fact, relax... BF: The least they could do is be a bit less descriptive about it... for me, it's all about the romance. Besides, it's Mihoshi! The second most innocent character in the series! Tyler: Sasami being first, I'm assuming. Just be thankful she's not in this. BF: I wouldn't let it continue if she was... Huh? mmmph!" Kiyone was caught off guard by the mess her partner just made, but let it all splash on her face, or catch whatever she could in her mouth letting it gulp down happily. "Well.Wakey, Wakey, Mihoshi. "The quiet utter Kiyone spoke as she looked over to see her coming too. Urd: Coming TOO? I didn't think Kiyone had yet. BF: You are SO lucky I don't hit women. Urd: And I'm going to take advantage of that at every opportunity, you realize. "Wha..What??" Half-naked and all Mihoshi feel right off the couch at the sudden look of Kiyones' face in a thud. "KIYONE!?"She shouted, but through mid-word Kiyone's hand clasped around her mouth. Kiyone was silent with a grin on her face as she replaced Mihoshi spot on the couch with herself. "No sleep for you 'Hoshi" Tyler: I think she just called her a 'ho... Urd: I think you're right. BF: I think it's clobberin' time... Washuu (intercom): Save it for later. We don't want a repeat of earlier. BF: Sorry... Kiyone than grabbed the back of the blonde girl's head in a grip, pressing her bronze face into the crotch of her shorts. "Kiyone? Kiyone what are you talking about? What...Why" She wanted to scream, muffled between Kiyone's legs. ".Undo them with your teeth.now." Silent, but stern as well, a voice Mihoshi knew too well that Kiyone was serious. She made a gulp and pressed her teeth onto the metal zip, slowly pulling down. Tyler: When teeth meet teeth. Urd: Argh... Tyler: We warned you they'd get really bad eventually. What she got in reward was Kiyone's new harden length pressed into the side of her face, almost poking out the left eye. (Buck gives up all pretense and gags, doing all he can to keep from outright vomiting.) Urd: Uh... you okay there? It's not like this is that bad or anything... BF: No, but what that sentence reminded me of was. Vegeta: What's that? BF: Think about it... poking out an eye with... Vegeta&Tyler: AHHH!!!! NOOOO!!!! Tyler: You can't mean... BF: I do mean... Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi. Most repulsive thing I've ever had the displeasure of reading. I mean, At the Carrot Patch was bad, but... it was just child's play compared to what happened in that story. Tyler: No pun intended. BF: Hmm? Tyler: At the Carrot Patch was child's play? (Buck slaps Tyler upside the head.) BF: Sicko. Tyler: You SAID it! Mihoshi was in silent terror, Tyler: Silent scream! (The crew open their mouths and wave their arms around, but don't make a sound.) breathing becoming a bit rapid at the site. "K..Kiyone!? Kiyone grin came back again, as she pushed her waist up a bit to let her meat slide on Mihoshi's face. BF: So Kiyone is a butcher now, that's fine. Tyler: No, she has a... *mmph* BF: Tyler, I'm only going to tell you this once... I have an excellent defense mechanism built up when it comes to denying things ever happened... you don't want to break through that defense, it wouldn't be pleasant. (Tyler nods and Buck removes his hand from his mouth.) "Thanks for giving me those pills, Mihoshi. They got rid of my headache, but look what I got in return." Vegeta (medical commercial voice-over): And these new green pills will cure headaches, make muscles grow, help you lose weight, fix your relationship, AND babysit your children! *much faster* Sideeffectsincludebutarenotlimitedtodrymouth,incontinence,diarrhea, pinkeye,emphysema,full-blownAIDS,andasudden,painfuldeath.Askdoctor' spermissionbeforetaking. *back to normal* These pills will help you enjoy life again! (Rest of crew applauds Vegeta's performance.) Her grip tightened around the back of her partner's head, right in those blonde strands of the quivering GP. ".Remember that tape I made you watch? Of the guy and the girl back in the Yagami?" BF: So Kiyone's a porn freak now... well, that's what happens when you stress over the little things too often. Vegeta: Why aren't YOU a porn freak, then? BF: Because I've seen what that kind of obsession has done to Tyler. Mihoshi was still a trembling a little, keeping her mouth shut tight as Kiyone began to probe her lips with the cock, hesitantly nodding. "Good. Guess what your gonna do?" Tyler (Mihoshi): Go back to sleep and forget this ever happened? Please? The Cyan tressed police girl Urd: Ah, a police girl AND a space pirate. Ryoko's working both sides of the fence now, I see. Tyler: In more ways than one, apparently. Urd: I like this guy! Tyler: Thank you! I don't hear that very often. knew a little secret to get her mouth open, even though Mihoshi kept it closed. Her hand traveled down her chest a bit, getting to her natural tanned massive globes. Vegeta: Which she had received for her uncommonly believable portrayal of the typical "hooker with a heart of gold" on last season's finale of CSI. Tyler: Golden Globes, I get it... BF: You apparently don't think our audience did, or you wouldn't have explained the joke. (Buck turns to face the audience.) BF: I would like to apologize right now for insulting your intelligence, for being blatantly self-serving in most of my scenes with Washuu-chan, and above all, for subjecting you to the crap that is "Dirty Cops." Usually we save these kind of things for the end, but it just fit so well here, don't you think? (And then turns back to the screen.) In a split second, she squeezed one playfully hard, forcing a yelp out of her. "ee!-mmph!" A confused daze replaced the look of fear on Mihoshi's face. Inches of Kiyone being crammed into her mouth. BF: Yes, Kiyone-brand foot-long submarine sandwiches. Let's not think about what else they could be talking about. Tyler: It's not quite a foot-long, but it certainly is Kiyone-brand... (Buck slaps Tyler again.) BF: I SAID "Let's not think about what else they could be talking about." A moment passed, numerous thoughts swirled in her head.what could she of done?" Kiyone looked down in Mihoshi's sincere eyes, submissive maybe. She could see blonde strands bob near her and back slowly with sloppy audible sounds of sucking. Urd: So they replaced the boy band album with something better. BF: Ooh, multiple levels of humor! I likes! She let out a breathy pant and took that hold off her partner's head, placing them lightly on the top. Urd: So let me get this straight... by removing its hold, she removed Mihoshi's head, that was already being used for... BF: Don't finish that... Urd: ... and then placed it on top of something else? This is getting awfully kinky... Tyler: I think we passed "kinky" in the bathroom scene. BF: GAH!!! (Buck violently launches Tyler toward the rear of the theater.) Tyler: Ow... Vegeta: Nice toss. BF: Used to be a bouncer. Mihoshi tried to keep up the rhythm of pleasing her partner, sliding her tongue around the meaty flesh, trying hard not to bite down. She let the whole thing come out her mouth, holding the rod carefully in her hands as she serviced the head better. Kiyone moaned lazily with a wider smile "That's...pretty good Mihoshi" But it changed to a smirk. "I guess you watch that tape more often.don't you..." she stopped with a breath. "Slut?" Crew: Booooo!!! BF: That's a blatant lie! Vegeta: That's despicable! Tyler: That's a tad excessive! Urd: That's ME!!! those words made Mihoshi pick up her pace, feeling the head of it bulge in her slippery mouth. All the sounds and attention on her made Kiyone grit her teeth with wincing eyes. "Uwhaaa.going to..!" BF (Kiyone): Finish watching this garbage wrestling and then go take a shower. It's kinda late. Vegeta: I don't get it. BF: *rolls eyes* Japanese wrestling fans, when watching a hardcore or "garbage" match, say "Uh-waaa" when a devastating blow is landed. Sorry, but as an ex-pro wrestler myself, it was just something that leapt into my mind. With a sharp moan, she splurged out onto Mihoshi face with hot gushing semen. Mihoshi nearly gagged on what shot into her mouth, pulling out Kiyone's tool from her mouth. Tyler (Kiyone): Oh, THAT'S where my pliers went! Urd: Is this almost over? I don't think I could take another bad pun like that... More of it spluttered onto her cheeks and button nose, dribbling down onto her breasts. Sky blue eyes looked right into Kiyones' with a mouth full of cum, showing her gulp hard the salty goodness down her buttery throat. Urd: And that butter in her throat must have made it all the more sal... dammit, now you've got ME doing it! Vegeta: Buttery throat, butterfingers, carmel mounds... with the kinds of descriptions the author is giving of Mihoshi, I'm getting hungry for popcorn. BF: You're lucky... I completely lost my appetite a long time ago... "Its.very warm" She made a small, hiccup of shock, embarrasing her self a bit. Seeing Mihoshi's cute face blushing was all Kiyone needed to get hard again. Urd: A lot more stamina than normal guys. Rest of crew: Guess I'm not normal, then... (The three guys look at each other, then quickly back at the screen. Urd just laughs.) Urd: Ah yes, male posturing... where would this world be without it? BF: At peace, most likely. "Now Mihoshi..." Kiyone dangerous grin returned. "Get up...and go to the couch" Kiyone pointed to where she wanted Mihoshi to go, which she did. Kiyone followed, tossing Mihoshi over the end on the side of the couch, Vegeta: Another impressive throw... and from a woman, no less. Urd: You come from a very patriarchal society, don't you? Vegeta: The Saiya-jin? Yeah. now leaving her ass up infront of Kiyone. Mihoshi shuddered like she was cold "K-Kiyone?...are you?" "You bet Mihoshi!" She answerd, placing her phallus ontop of the tan butt cheeks of her parther."This is going to be too good. Kiyone was almost salivating at the beautiful body infront of her...letting the penis slide down Mihoshi's crack and down to the hot area that awaited it. BF: Yeah, HELL!!! It's about time the people who write this stuff get their comeuppance! Tyler (Trey Parker as Satan): Welcome to my dominion. I have such delightful horrors to unleash upon thee. Vegeta (Saddam Hussein): Hey, shut up bitch, this is my show now! Welcome to Hell, sit down, you need a rest. Just relax, guy... BF: And, just because 'tis the season... Crew: *singing* String up the lights and light up the tree, we're damned for all eternity, but for just one day all is well, it's Christmastime in Hell! "Nice and soft...Mihoshi?..hm?" She teased. Mihoshi's face rubbed the couch as she turned her head. "Please Kiyone!..yessss.." "How about..."Kiyone hand reeled backward..and landed onto the right cheek of her tan friend, making a small *thwap!* sound, causing Mihoshi to moan out. BF: Bah... I've never figured out what's so erotic about spanking. Urd: You ever try it? BF: No, and I have no intentions of doing so, either. Urd: You really don't know what you're missing. Tyler: Can I find out? Urd: No. Tyler: I'm in such a rut tonight... "I give it to you the way you want it, slut?" She drove the cock into the small area, causing excess wetness to slip out in the tight slit. Mihoshi.Went.Beserk. Tyler (dark, foreboding voice): Coming this Christmas to a theatre near you, the most horrifying film to hit the screen! She was just your typical Galaxy Police officer with a hermaphrodite for a partner, until... something went wrong... Urd (Kiyone): I'm going to f*** your brains out, Mihoshi. Vegeta (Mihoshi): Too late! *giggle* Oh my God, is that what I think it is? Tyler (dfv again): This single incident pushed her a little too far, and she was going to take it out... on the WORLD! Vegeta (Mihoshi): My partner has a... has a... *laughs insanely and fires a machine gun.* Tyler (dfv): How many would have to die before the siege was over? Just why did it have to happen? We all knew that we were in trouble when... "Mihoshi Went Berserk." Vegeta (Mihoshi): What are you laughing at, punk? Tyler (dfv): Life would never be the same again. Rated R. BF: That was wrong on so many levels... "Aah..aaaah!!" she wailed, her hands tighting on the side of the couch cushions with her face down into it, smelling her own musk of sweat and body fluids from her breasts. Urd: Okay, I'm not exactly a biology scholar here, but... should she really be lactating right now? Tyler: I don't think so, no... unless Kiyone's soldiers are a lot faster than... BF: She doesn't HAVE soldiers! Tyler: Right... then I can't explain it. Kiyone also let out a moan of gratifactation now pumping wildly into her. gripping onto Mihoshi's ass cheeks tightly. "oh..OH Mihoshi!" The sound of flesh smacking wet flesh filled the living room, Vegeta: And now for a dramatic recreation of that very scene! (Vegeta throws a nearby bucket of water on Tyler and slaps the shit out of him.) Tyler: Ow! Hey, what are you... stop that! BF: Now THIS is entertainment! Mihoshi's song of extacsy drowing it out. "oh gawwwwd Kiyone!" She forced her legs to keep apart for Kiyone as she pumped, teeth gritting hard. "Your so tight!..ooooh!" The blue hair Kiyone wanted more, leaning her self even more inside her parther, she snatched her left hand around Mihoshi's shoulder and giving more thrust. "KIY-*hic*ONE! Oh..*hic* *hic* KIYONE!" Urd: It gave her the hiccups? Tyler: I uh... I can't explain THAT, either. The twisted love making had forced hiccups in Mihoshi's throat, her babbling cut short with a choke. Tyler: Tsk tsk... Kiyone's getting violent again. And after all that Mihoshi has done for her today... BF: This "love making," if you want to call it that, is twisted all right. That's the most honest thing the author put in this entire story. The pounding increaced, placing the blonde girl onto her tan tippy toes, her whole body aching in spasms. Urd: Now that's some rough sex... Tyler: I've always wondered what that was like... Urd: Sex? Tyler: No! No no no no, ROUGH sex. If you happen to know anything about it, I'd be glad to learn from... Urd: No. But keep trying, you may succeed yet. Kiyone did slow down however, feeling her limit arise,turning Mihoshi onto herback Mihoshi was even more back and continuing to fuck her to a quivering mass of sweat. BF: Which then collapsed with a resounding splash. The end. Mihoshi was even more insanly on that brink."AAAAAAAAAH *hic* KIYONE ITS GONNA HAPPEN! DONT SLOW DOWN!" "Me too,Mihoshi!" Kiyone grabbed for her partner shapley legs, clinging on for dear life as she was about to pump her "love semen". BF (John Cleese): Love don't enter into it, my lad. It's pure sex. Tyler (shopkeeper): No no, it's love. BF (John Cleese): All right then. If it's love, let's just see what happens afterward. "oh GAW-*hic* Mihoshi finally had a pleasure overload, springing up to latch her arms around Kiyones neck and screamed her lungs out in release, over and over...it seem to last a whole 3 minutes. She finally gave out, collapsing in a mass of quivers and twitches in Kiyone's arms. Kiyone also gave into the pressure, spraying her "semen" onto the pedals Tyler: There's those pedals again... this author must really love bicycles. of the near unconcious girl and onto her body. "K-Kiyone.." Mihoshi's cute face bunched up as she was still recovering. All Kiyone did was smile, locking her lips onto her partner...lover's lips. "Sleep Tight. Lovely." BF (John Cleese): Hello, Kiyone! I got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Kiyone Makibi! (Tyler grabs Buck's head and turns it back and forth a few times.) Tyler (shopkeeper): There, she moved. BF (John Cleese): No she didn't, that was you shaking my head about! Tyler (shopkeeper): I did not! BF (John Cleese): Yes you did! Hello, Kiyone! Lovemaking involves cuddling afterward! Kiyone! Wake up and cuddle! *pause* Now that's what I call a sleeping beauty. Tyler (shopkeeper): She's not sleeping, she's just a little tired and shagged out after a long squall. BF (John Cleese): Look, my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That woman is definitely asleep. She's catching forty winks. She has fallen into slumber and entered the Land of Nod. She's copping some z's. Getting some shuteye, she shall soon be as good as new after replenishing her body's energy. Vegeta: I've had about enough bastardizing of Monty Python, you two. BF&Tyler: 'kay... Urd: I think she's copping more than z's, too. "K..Kiyone...?" "H..hey!?" It was morning already and as if Washu was like a robot that never slept, she was toiling around her work shop. Tyler: Ha ha, you're in love with a robot... BF: Shut up... it says she's LIKE a robot. I mean, Tipper Gore doesn't seem to mind that kind of thing. "I knew I had them on this shelf!" Kiyone, who was a morning person time to time, Was making her way over to the kitchen. "Watch'ya looking for Washu? "These pills...Aeka and Ryoko wanted me to make, Once Tenchi came back from Tokyo All but Urd: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Urd: What? BF: You remember how I was saying that Mihoshi wasn't dumb earlier, because this wasn't Shin? Urd: Yeah? BF: She has just become dumb. Tyler: As did everyone in that series. they wanted him to drink something with these pills I created, to send his sexual agression into overload" Urd: Sending Tenchi's sexual aggression into overload would put him at about the same level as, oh... a celibate priest. "Ooh Really?" "Yeah. But they where still an expiriment...Im not sure what would happen if one of us took It" Tyler: But we do! BF: All too well... Tyler: Aw, come on... you really shouldn't put it down like that. I'll try anything once. (Urd rests an elbow on Tyler's shoulder.) Urd: Anything? Tyler: That's what I said. Urd: Well, congratulations. You've found the winning combination. I have so much I can teach you... Tyler: YES! (Buck looks cautiously over at Tyler and Urd, and then looks a little crestfallen.) Kiyone giggled as if she was guilty. "Well who knows? Have you seen Mihoshi" "Thats another thing!" Washu blurted. "What in the world is Mihoshi doing up so early? The lazy thing went straight to the Yagami to go get something." Kiyone had a good idea what it was...videotapes, maybe? Vegeta (Mihoshi): Oh, I forgot I got a new one the other day! I can't wait to see what happens to that sexy Vegeta when he... (Vegeta stops amid stares from the other MSTers.) Vegeta: What? whoo! im so sorry for getting this out so late X Xand if it seems a bit rushed Im sorry! Urd: You mean it's over? Just like that? BF: I think I've been scarred... Vegeta: A BIT rushed? It's as if you put every fanboy fantasy into a blender, added an extra appendage, and typed out the results with your forehead. Tyler: At least they apologized for it... coming soon: 3 times the action! (Buck sweatdrops.) BF: Lord no... there was only one other character that appeared in this dung pile... Urd: When they say "3 times the action," are they referring to three people, or six? I mean, there were two people that got busy in this one... so six in the next is logical. BF: Kindly shut up, Urd... you're not helping... Vegeta: *yawns and stretches* Well, let's get this thing back up to the surface and see what the analysis is, shall we? (This thing is brought back up to the surface to see what the analysis is. Buck is leaning back in an office chair with a cold compress on his head. Vegeta is still reveling in the fact that he messed up Tyler's plans. Tyler doesn't seem too upset by this, however, as he and Urd are exchanging phone numbers...) Tyler: Next time you get banished from the heavens, we should hook up. Urd: I'd like that, actually. You seem like a really... fun guy. Tyler: Maybe next time we meet, I'll show you just how "fun" I can be... (Urd just grins and moves some hair out of her eyes. Without moving, Buck speaks up.) BF: Mark this day on the calendar, Vegeta... Tyler's got a girlfriend, and she's just as perverted as he is. Urd: And what, may I ask, is wrong with enjoying sex? BF: At the risk of editorializing, nothing... so long as there's a very, very long-term commitment involved. If not marriage, then at the very least a steady relationship that has been going on for several years. Urd: You're such a prude. Tyler: That's just the thing... he didn't used to be. Urd: Oh, really? Tyler: Nope. This guy used to a real player. They didn't call him "The Hustler" for nothing. BF: I play pool, Tyler... Tyler: Yeah, but that wasn't all that earned you that nickname, you know. See, Urd, the deal is that he changed dramatically when he first saw Washuu-chan. BF: For the better, might I add. Tyler: If you say so. Hey, if you're interested in a full story here, let's go get a drink before you get called back up. Urd: That should give us plenty of time... (Tyler and his new-found "love" interest walk away discussing things.) Vegeta: Look, weakling, this overreacting has got to stop. BF: I'm not overreacting... Vegeta: If you say so... hey look, some anti-Washuu graffiti! (Buck jumps up from the chair and looks around with anger and determination in his eyes.) BF: Where? I'll kill the bastards! Vegeta: There, you see? BF: I see wh... *sigh* There is no graffiti, is there? (Suddenly, Mihoshi runs into the lab and hides behind the two men.) BF: To what do we owe this pleasure? Mihoshi: You'll find out soon enough. (Katsuhito comes in seconds later.) Katsuhito: Mihoshi, darling! Forget Tenchi, he could never give you the love that I can! Mihoshi: Get that crazy old man away from me! BF: Sir? Is there something wrong? You don't seem like your usual calm, cool self. Katsuhito: That's my girl holding your arm! I demand vengeance! (Katsuhito draws an energy sword. He swings it wildly, but in the altered state that the former prince of Jurai is in, Buck is able to dodge the blows with minimal effort.) BF: Whoa there, buddy... *ducks* could you maybe calm down *bobs* a little bit? *weaves* Hold on, I think I can *jumps* fix this. Washuu-chan, we need your *parries blow with a nearby coatrack* expert assistance. (Washuu walks in with her customary... well, in this series it's customary... clipboard.) Washuu: What is it, Buck? I'm very... (She looks up to see the goings-on.) Washuu: ... busy. Okay, I can handle this. Vegeta, knock him out. Vegeta: Can do. (Vegeta chops Katsuhito between the shoulder blades. The old man falls limp to the ground.) Vegeta: Now what? Washuu: We're going to strap him down until Urd gets back so we can have her reverse this. I'd find a cure myself, but I have more pressing matters to attend to. Come, you can use the table that Dojin Diaster was on. Vegeta: You mean you let the author go without letting us get some small measure of revenge? BF: Now now, Vegeta... if we just went about killing every author that writes bad fanfics, eventually they'd cease to be written. Vegeta: I'm failing to see the down side here. BF: And then we wouldn't get to spend as much time with Washuu-chan. Vegeta: Again, I'm failing to see the down side here. Washuu&BF: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Vegeta: Very well... come on, old man... (Vegeta walks off, dragging Katsuhito with him.) Mihoshi: Oh, thank you all so much! I don't know what got into him! Washuu: Any time, Mihoshi. BF: Glad to be of service, especially after what I saw you put through today. Mihoshi: You're not making people watch bad fanfics again, are you? Washuu: As a matter of fact... Mihoshi: Oh God... let me guess, Kiyone and I are lesbians again? BF: Something like that. Mihoshi: Typical. BF: Wait a second... is Kiyone HERE? Mihoshi: No, actually. I haven't seen her since the ultra energy matter case. Why? BF: *breathes sigh of relief* Thanks, Mihoshi. Just checking. (Mihoshi leaves the lab.) Washuu: What was that all about, Buck? BF: I was just making sure we were in the proper continuity here. I'm not about to stay in a world where the lot of you are so out of character. Washuu: You know, you could have just asked me months ago what universe this was. As the greatest scientific mind of all time, do you honestly think I don't know what parallel worlds there are? BF: Oops... sorry. It just never entered my mind until today. Washuu: Speaking of entering minds, I think it's safe for you guys to go back to America for awhile. When I need you again, you'll know it. BF: Gotcha. (Buck turns to leave, but Washuu stops him.) Washuu: Wait... I just wanted to tell you how moved I was by your handling of Tyler and Urd earlier. BF: Yeah, about that... it's just... Washuu: Shh... I've never heard anybody say things like that about me... you really do care about me, don't you? BF: Like no other. What, you thought this was purely a physical attraction? Washuu: At first, yes... it took a few meetings for me to realize otherwise. BF: Jeez, Washuu-chan, I'm not some freak who chases after 12-year-old girls, you know. Personality is everything for me in terms of those I love, just as romance is everything for me in terms of how I work relationships. Washuu: I know, I know... and that's very refreshing. I think I'm beginning to rediscover a deeper emotion that I thought was long gone. (Buck's eyes light up like Atlanta on fire.) BF: Could it be lo... Washuu: Let's not go nuts. BF: Sorry. I got a little excited. Washuu: But you've made me feel better today than I've felt in several thousand years. All thanks to my side experiment in deferred gratification. BF: So that's why you wanted to make them think that their plot had worked. Washuu: That, and Vegeta thought it would be really funny to wave that carrot in front of Tyler's face before yanking it away. BF: He had it coming. Washuu: Speaking of Tyler, he and Urd just met. Why are they wandering off together already? BF: Tyler's a horn-dog, Urd's pretty much a slut. Need I say more? I have to admit that when he finally hit on something that attracted her to him, I got a little jealous. Washuu: Why? You want Urd, too? *laughs* BF: *laughs* Stop messing around. No, it's just that, well... he got the woman he was after in less than an hour. I've known you for... how long, exactly? Washuu: Let's see... you answered my ad back in February... so almost ten months. BF: There, you see? But, it's like you brought up... deferred gratification. Nothing good will come to those unwilling to wait for it and work for it. Washuu: My thoughts exactly. BF: Well, if I'm going to get back to the States anytime soon, I'd better drag Tyler away from his new girlfriend and see what I can do about plane tickets. I'll see you next time. Washuu: Indeed you shall. (Buck backs toward the transporter that takes you directly to the main floor of the Masaki house. As the white ring encapsulates him, he waves good-bye to the beautiful genius, who waves back. He then disappears. Washuu sighs contentedly.) Washuu: He's almost there... he's admitted to having feelings for me, he's demonstrated intelligence, he's shown that he's willing to work diligently for something that he desires... and now he's proven beyond all doubt that his feelings are pure and that he loves me too much to take the cheap way out... or in, if you prefer. I think one more time through the wringer should bring him over that final hurdle and get him what he truly wants... and deserves. (Washuu smiles, then goes to enter today's data into her files. Fade to black.) ------------------------------- Urd is owned by Animeigo, and, much like Washuu-chan, is used without permission. Please note that Urd is not really a slut... she's originally a little shady, but by the end of AMG, you find a certain level of respect for her. But you know, why not magnify certain characteristics for the aspect of continuity in the MST itself? Besides, you kind of need someone like that for the first real lemon that you work with, and Tyler... well, he needed someone to identify with. You know, one time, I'd like to obtain permission from an anime company to use a character. I don't care who it is, just so I can say, "so-and-so appears courtesy of this company. I thank them for allowing me to use one of their characters." Wouldn't that just be so cool? Anyway... as always, I'm being blatantly self-serving at the end. It's kind of a way to escape. Considering that Buckeroo is, for all rights and purposes, ME. Just stronger, more charismatic, and better-looking is all. Oh, and shorter. Can't forget that, not that it matters. But I did make full stats on him when I created him for the FFWA over three years ago. I'm digressing again. Anyway, being self-serving is a privilege of all fanfic writers, good and bad. I just hope that I'm not abusing said privilege too much. But the fact remains that, even if I am, the psychology behind such a practice is fascinating. Sometimes I'd like to have a psychological profile done on myself... if anyone out there is interested... So, in conclusion... whether you liked this MST and want me to do more (they're coming, one sooner than you think), hated it and want me to stop writing entirely (sorry, won't happen), are interested in me doing one of your fics in the future (always open to suggestions), or want to do that psychological profile I mentioned above, you can just e-mail me at buckfloyd@yahoo.com with any comments you may have. Guten bye-bye!