AnimePort#9 MST. MST#12 The MST of: “The Crew Of the JEDRI--- MST Log::::::::::::File 1 A Passion Satisfying, Ground Shaking, Glass Breaking. .” DISCLAIMER: My following apologies to the following people and/or companies for borrowing and/or creating parodies of their characters, and stories; Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ video, AnimEigo, Pioneer LDC, AIC, U.S. MANGA corps, Kosuke Fujishima, Nintendo, Creatures Inc., GAME FREAK Inc., Best Brains Productions, a bunch of anime companies and writers that I do not know personally, My third grade math teacher, and all others who would be insulted by this MST (Original FanFic writer, optional.). ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Somewhere in the vastness of the multiverse, there is a certain focal point of the worlds. A place where our reality and those of our favorite comic books meet, and are able to cross. At this place was constructed a huge station, technically advanced in ways that surpass even the most futuristic of realities. In this place research is conducted on the fictional stories that are created by the ever adoring fans of the comics. FAN-FICTIONS. One man from our reality, a sponsor of the station, has been given the task of leading the research on the stories, by bringing together the most unique group of people from the anime realms. The place is “AnimePort#9”. These are the reviews. . . _____________________________________________________________________________________ Technical note: Due to circumstances beyond our control, this MST will feature only the following members. PETER SUZUKI B-KO DAITOKUJI. Begin recording of research documentation. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (Today instead of starting in the lounge, the camera opens up in the theater. Instead of rows and rows of seats, only two swivel chairs sit in the middle of the theater. Seated in them are two shadowy figures. From outside the theater, something about “Gibbering knuckles” can be heard, just before the doors close, and the theater lights turn on. This reveals B-ko on the left dressed up as Gene Siskel, and Peter on the right dressed up as Roger Ebert, snacking on several assorted bags of stuff.) B-KO(to the camera): Greetings. I’m B-ko Daitokuji. PETER(swallowing soda): And I’m Peter Suzuki, and welcome to Anime Port nine’s “At the Fan Fics”. Tonight we have given most of the usual MST crew the night off, so we can do an MST of an MST. B-KO: For a long time now, Peter Suzuki has been credited with making the first, and so far only, funny Sasami Lemon. Recently, someone has MSTed that lemon. PETER: So tonight, we are going to make fun of someone making fun of me. Let’s watch. (They turn towards the screen, the lights dim, and the MST commences.) >The Crew Of the JEDRI--- B-KO: Which is an acronym for what? PETER: Maybe they spelled Jurai wrong. >MST Log::::::::::::File 1 A Passion Satisfying, Ground Shaking, Glass >Breaking. . B-KO & PETER(bored): Yaaay. >Glyph: (grumbling) Oh, brother. PETER(Crow): The hell? > >Disclaimer: We did not create some of the characters used, or >mentioned. >We didn't make any money off this story. Do not need to sue PETER(Tor Johnson): Time for go to bed! B-KO(Estrela): You talk funny, you feelthy peeg. PETER(Dr. West): I KNOWWW!! > > >The Crew (Peter Pulls out a notepad, and a pencil.) B-KO: Okay, begin the hit list. > >*Glyph Bellchime-The Leader, human female. "Well, excuse mee! I meant >`guys' as in the group, OKAY?" PETER(writing down the name): That joke only works if you’re a male speaking to females. > >*REBB01-The weird one, computer expert, cybertronian. "Couldn't we get >a >ship that's just a littl' bigger?" B-KO & PETER: No > >*Ukyo Kuonji-The hard-working one, cook, human female. "Okonomiyaki, >anyone?" B-KO: No. PETER: I’ll take one! > >*Washu Habuki-The smart one, engineer, humanoid female. Click, PETER: She’s a “Click”? >"It's LITTLE Washu, all right?" B-KO: Sure miss Washu. Whatever. > >*Cypher-The loose cannon, operations, changeling. "Why do I gotta be >the DECOY?!!!" B-KO: Because they don’t like you. > >*Mew-The ties that binds, structural control, pokemon. (sign) "I may be >small, but I'm powerful. (side note) Care for me to demonstrate?" PETER: No thanks. B-KO: We saw the movie. > >Andrew Lee McPherson-The leader's boyfriend, pilot, human male. "I >don't >think I got it down yet, but I am coming close!" PETER: With any luck, this will be the first and last episode, because of him. B-KO: Peter! PETER: Sorry. Blame it on working with Priss, for so long. > >Pathos-The not-so-bright one, projectionist, humanoid cat. "I not sound >like Shampoo!" PETER: No, but you sure talk like her. > >*--actual MSTers B-KO: So the others are just wasted space? > > >Washu held the glass beaker up above her head. "Here Cypher!" Then in a >cute voice. "Wittle Washu just wants a wittle sample." B-KO & PETER: . . . . . PETER(Scimitar): I don’t like where this is going. > She looked around for a fair-sized puddle of what looked like movable, >gold Jell-O treats. B-KO: Uh . . . Yum? >The party in question held very still and very >quiet. PETER(Elmer Fudd): Be wewy, wewy quiet. Washu wants a wittle sample. Wuh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh. > "If I hold still long enough, maybe she'll put me down and leave me >alone," the jar above her head kept thinking. B-KO: Of course that’s what ALL pieces of her lab equipment think, from time to time. > She set him down and called up her holo-computer. She started a scan. >"Ah, very clever, Cypher," she muttered, then snapped her fingers. >The small force field snapped around the jar. "Dammit," the jar >internally grumbled. PETER(jar as Snivley Whiplash): Curses! Foiled again! >Then he changed his shape into a kangaroo mouse. >"Washu would have to let up the force field to pick up me," he thought. >"Then I can jump my way outta here!" >But she didn't do that. B-KO & PETER(kangaroo mouse): D’OH! >No, instead, she just pressed a few buttons, >and, pop, PETER: goes the weasel. B-KO: Kangaroo mouse. PETER(Squall): Whatever . . . >he found himself in a large, clear, shielded vat. "So she got >you too, huh?" B-KO(kangaroo mouse): Yes anonymous voice, she got me too, huh. >Cypher resumed his humanoid shape and look over at the vat next to him. PETER: Hey, you never told us that Shampoo was narrating this MST! >In said a creature that would have given many a historian a heart >attack. B-KO: “In said a creature”? I hope the MST is better than the opening bit. >It looked very much like a mythological griffin, but it had >metal and technical interfaces integrated into its body. PETER(pulling out a Pokeball): It’s a Pokemon! B-KO(pulling Peter back down): It’s not a Pokemon, now sit back down! >"What is now, four times this week, REBB?" Cypher grumbled. >"Five. Unfortunately, I'm easier to catch," the griffin muttered, then >added. "I am transformed." The phrase changed his form. B-KO(Power Ranger): IT’S MORPHING TIME!!! PETER(Blue Beetle Borg): Beetle Bonder! BEETLE BLAST!! >The large >humanoid looking robot sat back down on the floor of the vat. "So what >do you think she'll do to us, this time?" PETER(Cypher): Standard Washu lemon. (Hit by B-ko.) *WACK!* OW! >"Gods, I hope it's not the centrifuge again," Cypher held where his >stomach would be if he had one. "Last time, I had been dizzy for >hours." B-KO: Wheeee . . . > >"Boy, you would be a lotta fun at an amusement park," the robot >muttered >under his breath. >"What did you say?" PETER: He said (Through megaphone) “BOY, YOU WOULD BE A LOTTA FUN AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK,”!!!!!!! >"If she gets near me with that probe again, I'll stick it up her waste >disposal unit!" REBB growled aloud. (B-ko tries to slap REBB on the screen.) B-KO(Ms. Swan): No say probe! >At this point, Washu entered, wearing her nurses uniform and carrying >some weird alienlike devices. PETER: Oh, and look. There’s the probe. B-KO(Ms. Swan): No say probe! (Slaps Peter.) *SMACK!* PETER: OW! >Cypher felt like sinking to the floor, >and about did. >Washu sounded like the wicked witch of the west, "Hello my pretties!!!" >(Puts on a rubber glove) **KER-SNAP** >Making both Cypher and REBB jump. PETER: As well as the winged monkeys, around Washu’s lab. >"Hey Cypher, match you for it?" >"Ok. One, two, three, Damn!" >"Alright! It's been real nice knowing you, Cypher." >"Best two out of three?" > Then a voice squawked over a nearby companel. PETER(AOL voice): You’ve got lemon! B-KO(Washu doing an impersonation of the AOL voice): I’ve got lemon! >"Hey, Guys, get your >butts over to the holographic theatre. We got a bogey! A sourball!" PETER: Hey! That’s my first lemon you’re talking about! Show some respect! > All three in the room went, "HUH?" B-KO & PETER(the latter through “Mr. Bullhorn”): SHE SAID, “HEY, GUYS, GET YOUR BUTTS OVER TO THE HOLOGRAPHIC THEATER. WE GOT A BOGEY! A SOURBALL!”!!!!!!! > "It's a Lemon Fic, you guys! A sourball! Oh, nevermind. Do I gotta >send >Mew After you?" > Cypher and REBB both yelled, "PLEASE!" B-KO & PETER(Cypher and REBB as Stan and Kyle): OUR SAVIOR! > "Be at the theatre in ten, Bellchime out." > > Washu muttered, "Damn!" B-KO(Washu): Oh poopie! > >Later all the MSTer's stood at the door, jockeying for position. Not >that they all wanted to be first, but as to get through the small >entrance. REBB about hit his head on the doorframe. > >REBB: (Jerry Lewis) Low Bridge! PETER(REBB as Jerry Lewis): Hello nice door! > >Mew: Mew? # What did Glyph mean by a `sourball'? # > > Ukyo: She meant we have a Lemon > > Mew: Mew? # What's so bad about fruit? # (B-ko pulls out a clipboard, that has written on it in bold yellow letters “Things We Hate About This”.) B-KO(writing down on the clip board): Use of joke so old, WE no longer use it. > > Washu: Not that kind of Lemon. > > Mew: #??????????# PETER: Oh no! Someone used a confusion attack on it! > > Glyph: Wait and find out, kiddo. And what's wrong with the shorthand? > > Cypher: You need a Glyph to English dictionary to understand you. > > Glyph: Har-dee-har-har. Need a cane on that one. B-KO: I need an aspirin. PETER(digging through his jacket pockets): I think I have a bottle . . . B-KO: Peter . . . Just let it slide. You’re giving me an even bigger headache. > > *****Jeff Foxworthy: My favorite word is Sensuous, told my old lady >Sensuous up, get me a beer.***** > > All, but Glyph: What the hell was that? > > Glyph: Warning signal for when it starts. The computer will throw out >a random phrase. PETER(writing down on the “Hate” board): Stole screwy klaxon signal joke, and used bad Jeff Foxworthy joke along with it . . . >If you hear one, head here, IMMEDIATELY! > > REBB: (Sarcastic) Wunderful! B-KO(Sarcastic): Spelling! > > Ukyo: Shhhh! It's starting. > >>A Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction. > >Washu: (groaning) Oh, no. PETER: Oh yes. > >>A Passion Satisfying, Ground Shaking, Glass Breaking. . . > >REBB: Lawn Mowing, Beer Can Crushing.. >Cypher: UFO Viewing, One Reel Fishing, Butt-crack Showing. B-KO: Rip roaring, gang planking, river dumping . . PETER(to B-ko): Who’s side are you on!?!? B-KO: Sorry, Peter. Couldn’t help myself. > >>By Peter Suzuki. > >All: (ala Droopy) Yay. > >Cypher: He does do some good work. And he's a good MSTer, in his own >rights. PETER: Thank you. But I’m not going to go easy on you. CYPHER(in the MST): Bring it on! We can take it! (Peter and B-ko both stare nervously at the screen.) >>The series "Tenchi Muyo" is owned by Pioneer LDC, AIC, and its >>contributors. All rights reserved. > >All the girls: DuUH! > >>WARNING: Mild LEMON! Nothing TOO graphic, but younger (or immature) >>readers should not be reading this. > >Mew: Mew? # Does that include me? # B-KO: If the beginning bit was any clue, you may be one of the most mature people in the theater. PETER: . . . . >Washu: No. B-KO: I wasn’t talking to you. > >>In fact, I don't know why I'm even >>explaining to you, ANYTHING after the word "Lemon" because if you >didn't >>want to read something `sexually explicit' then you would have hit the >Ukyo: Flame Button by now? > >>"Go-back" button by now, right? PETER(Nelson, pointing at Ukyo): HAW-HAW! > >>Anyway, on with the show. > >Washu: Must you? PETER: Yes. >Ukyo: Why, got something to hide, Little Washu? PETER(smiling): Maybe. >####################################################################### > >>EARTH: 4:00a.m. > >Glyph: God, Washu, hit the snooze button again! B-KO: A.M.! Not P.M.! > >Yosho was up early this morning. He did not even really know >>why, . >REBB: The constant explosions from the house were starting to get on >his >nerves? > >>other then out of habit. > >All: Oh. > > >And now he could not even get to see the >sun rise because of the overcast. > >Cypher: That must be some tackle he's using to make to the lake from >the >shrine. >Glyph: Wrong type of cast. Although. B-KO(Cypher): Who’s “Although”? >Ukyo: What type then, a full body cast? >Glyph: I'll put both of you in one if you don't cut that out. >Cypher: (Muttering) That's a little hard with me. PETER: Actually, I was just trying to go for something other than the “Bright and sunny day” lemon routine. > > >> It looked like yet another gloomy, >>autumn morning. He let out a bored sigh, > >Washu: (Commercial) Yes we have premium sighed Lumber. B-KO: Apparently Washu has a problem telling the difference between “bored” and “board”. > >> and continued to drink the tea >>that he made. No sense in letting it go to waste. > >>Then he heard it, or rather FELT it. > >Cypher: (whispering) The paralyzing agent Washu put in his tea must >have >taken effect. >Washu: (She puts a finger on a her holographic computer where suddenly >one of the statues from Furinken High dropped on Cypher) PETER: You know, large blunt object aren’t really effective against ‘Silly Putty’. B-KO: ‘Silly Putty’? I thought he was an overgrown Ditto . . . I think we just got our lines mixed up. PETER: You can make Pokemon references if you want. I won’t stop you. >Ukyo: Did you have to choose one of those? >Washu: They were heavy enough. And ugly. >(Cypher flowed out from under the statue, and resumed his place.) B-KO: Not even a funny look toward Washu? > > > A slight tremor shook the >>shrine. Even the birds stopped chirping. An earthquake? > >REBB01: Dang, he can hear Ranma's stomach from there? ***WHANG!!!!!*** PETER: And Ukyo gives the griff the gong! >Ukyo: Ranma-honey's stomach isn't that loud. >REBB01: Ow! > >>No, it could not be so. > >Washu: ( Panicked) Mihoshi got into my lab again? >Glyph: The video rental store refused my card? >Mew: ## Somebody got all 151?## PETER(holding up his GameBoy): Right here! >REBB01: Meg's finally stopped talking to himself? >Ukyo: Ranma's liked Akane's cooking? B-KO: A-ko finally found someone that I’m not already after? >Cypher: Have the producers decided if Dukat's a good guy or a bad guy? PETER: “Flint, The Time Detective” gets an actual plot, therefore making it too stupid to be good, but to serious to be entertaining? > >>In all the seven hundred years of its existence, the Masaki >>shrine was never effected by earthquakes. Besides, this felt as if it >>was caused by something close by. Something that shook the very earth >>that the shrine sat upon. As Yosho got up to investigate, the shaking >>started again, and did not stop. > > >This could not possibly be an earthquake. It was more of a >>slight vibrating, rather than a quake. > >Everybody: (Singing) Good- good- good Vib-rations! B-KO & PETER(singing AND dancing): Shake-shake-shake! Shake-shake-shake! Shake yo bootay! > >>Yosho slowly made his way to >>where the shaking felt strongest. >>For the >>first time in a long, LONG time, Yosho was genuinely shocked. > >Mew: (Using transform) Pika-CHU! >Everyone else: Huh? >Ukyo: How he do that? PETER: AAH! Ukyo’s really Shampoo in disguise!! > > >The trees were causing the shaking, or more specifically; the >>Funaho tree, the Ryu-oh tree, and the trees born from the Funaho >tree's > >>seeds were causing the shaking. > >Washu: Depends on which series, either Ryu-oh is a real little sapling >or a tree out in the lake. PETER: I thought that you would have moved the Ryu-oh out into the sunlight, by now. B-KO: And the trees born from the Funaho tree’s seeds? PETER: Just a random notion I threw out there. I figured that if it’s a tree, it can make seeds. > > > Yosho did not move, even as a sapling >>that had been placed in a pot, gently vibrated across the ground like >>one of those tabletop football games. > >REBB01: Go! saplings, Go! PETER(Packers fan): WHOOOOO!! GO PINEWOODS!!! > > >"Washu." Yosho mumbled. "If she's not the cause of this, then >>she must at least have some kind of explanation for this." > >Washu: Why do they always blame me first? B-KO: Because you’re either the cause of what’s screwed up, or somehow related to what screwed it up. > > >Yosho then ran as fast as he could, toward the Masaki house. >>His expression was somewhat reminiscent of how a little child would >>look, after hearing a big dog bark at him. > >Mew: (Back as his normal? Self) ##Hey, Clifford, that you?## >Everyone else: Obscure! PETER: Hey, I understood it! >Mew: ##Sorry.## > >Yosho came to a screeching halt > >Cypher: Boy, that he's got good lungs for an old guy. >Glyph: Or the lousiest brakes in the world. B-KO: Or maybe he has new shoes. > >>at the door of the Masaki home. >>He briefly turned his head toward the front gate, as he heard a slight >>humming coming from that direction. He had a very bad feeling of what >>he would see. > >Washu: It would have been hard to miss since he passed the gate the >first time, getting to the door. PETER: Why do you think he came to a screeching halt? > > >> Azaka and Kamidake hovered in mid air, spinning like tops, and >>shaking like maracas. > >Cypher: La cucaracha, la cucaracha. >Glyph: Hey, Macarena! >REBB01 proceeded to pick up Cypher and use him as weapon on Glyph. >Cypher wasn't happy about it. >Cypher: Cut That out! PETER: How do you use a roughly humanoid, protoplasmic blob, as a weapon? B-KO: Evidently griff knew a way. > >>The >>mail man walked by, muttered something about `it getting weirder every >>day', and managed to stuff some envelopes into Azaka on one of the >>revolutions, before continuing on his way. > >Ukyo:( Azaka VERY Excited)BILL, BILL, PERSONAL LETTER, BILL. PETER(Ukyo as Azaka VERY Excited): I MAY ALREADY BE AN INSTANT MILLIONARE, BILL. > >>A large sweat-drop formed on >>Yosho's head. > > >Yosho then heard one of the girls scream from the bedroom >>window. >>Without another thought, Yosho rushed into the house. > >Mew: ##Shouldn't it hurt going through the front door like that? ## > > >If Yosho would have stayed a minute longer he would have heard >>Kamidake moan, "S-S-S-o-o-o-G-G-G-o-o-o-o-o-o-d-d-d-!" > >Glyph: .To the last drop! (Peter makes that annoying slurping noise with his empty soda cup.) *SHLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRP!!!* > > >In every sense, Washu was not having a good day. > >Washu: Yeah, I got stuck in this story. B-KO: Not to mention stuck doing this MST. > >> First, last >>night's experiment ended in disaster with only herself to blame, then >>she was woken up by Ayeka, at this unruly hour, about something >>happening to Sasami, and when she got to the bedroom she saw THIS. > >REBB01: And it was the last thing she ever saw. B-KO: Well, that was pleasant. Is it over now? PETER: No. >Washu: I can bring Azusa Shiratori here. >Everybody but Washu: NOOOOOOOO! B-KO & PETER: NOOOOOOOO! PETER(to B-ko): What are we saying “NO” for? B-KO(to Peter): I thought you knew. PETER(to B-ko): Me? I was following your lead, mammer-jammer. B-KO(to Peter): Do you think we overuse these jokes too much? PETER(to B-ko): I don’t think on, soul bother. (B-ko Pulls out a giant squeaky hammer, and bops Peter on the head.) *SQUEAKY!* > > >Sasami lay on the floor, flopping like a fish on dry land, >>moaning like a banshee. . . > >Cypher: ( Sweatdrop) Didn't the banshee in Earth mythology mean that >death is on its way. >Glyph: I don't like where this is heading. PETER(pointing at Glyph): Hey, she stole Scimitar’s line! B-KO: Well so did you. PETER: Oh, that’s right. Sorry. > >>and seeming to be enjoying every minute of >>it. > >Ukyo: At least someone is. B-KO: Well, it hasn’t gotten that bad. Yet. > > >"Ahh! AAAH! Oooh! Mmmm-YES!!" > > >"And when did you find out about this?" Washu asked Ayeka. > >REBB01: (Ayeka) Oh, when she rolled over and slipped me some tongue, it >gave me the first clue. PETER: Ah-ha-ha-ha. I see griff has seen this already. B-KO(large sweatdrop on the back of her head): . . . . >WHANG! WHOP! WHAM! WHAM! WHANG! TANG! TA-TISH! B-KO & PETER: Break it down now! (Both start making rap music noises.) >REBB01 held his sword up >and held off the female barrage. B-KO: Where did he get the sword? PETER: The same place mallets come from. >Mew: ##Getting better at that, aren't you? ## > > > > "Well, I got up to get a glass of water. Sasami then told me >>that she felt slightly cold. When I got back with a blanket, I found >>her like this." Responded Ayeka. > > >"Did you check her for symptoms of sickness?" Washu asked, as >>she materialized her computer. >Washu: All right, who put Windows 98 on this thing? PETER(AOL voice): You’ve got crap you didn’t ask for! > > >Ayeka looked a little bit distraught about it. > >Glyph: Eeesh! >Mew: ## Why? you like Macs? ## >Everyone else looked sour at the little critter. PETER: B-ko, tell the audience what you found Ayeka doing to the main computer, up here. B-KO: She was trying to shove a manila envelope into the file server. PETER: Thank you, B-ko. > >>"Well. . . I >>DID try to check her for a fever, b-but when I placed my hand on her >>forehead she. . . she. . ." > >Ukyo: (Ryoga) HOKO-DAN. B-KO(Ranma): MOKOTAKABASHA. PETER(Bob Saget): YERGI GIGAREN. (B-ko, and all of the characters in the MST stare at Peter, nervously.) >Cypher: Okay, where is he, and how the hell did he find this place? >Ukyo: Easy, easy, he ain't here. >Cypher: Next time I see him I'll give the Houkou Onchi a way home! >Glyph: Frequent Flyer miles. Without a plane. Ouch! B-KO: So the in flight meal is pork? > >>Ayeka seemed reluctant, and slightly scared >>to mention what happened next. > >REBB01: Does it have any thing to do Ryoko's body hanging limply out of >the wall? PETER: No, that has to do with sake being on the shopping list. >Everyone else: Fourth wall!!!! PETER: Third. I’m not that desperate for a joke. B-KO: Yet. > > > >Just then Ryoko phased in through the wall, and Ryo-oh-ki >>toddled in from the hallway. Ryoko said, "Hey, why are the windows >>shaking like. . ." > >Mew: ## (Cat from RD) ..Like a grass skirt on a fat hoola-hoop >champion. >## B-KO: Like Peter, on a caffeine rush. PETER(shaking uncontrollably): IonlyusedthemtowashdownthefiveboxesofchocolateIate! >Glyph: No more Red Dwarf for you, kiddo. >Mew: ## Awwwww! ## > >>Ryoko then noticed Sasami jerking around on the >>floor. > >Everyone: (singing) Ooo, Cool Jerk! > >>"What the? Washu! Did you do something to Sasami!?!" > >Washu: (grumbling) Always, its blame it on the mad scientist. Why do >they do that? B-KO: Because you’re usually the cause of the problem. I already said that. > >>Ryoko said in her most menacing tone. > >Cypher: (Copying Washu from earlier) Hello my pretties! B-KO & PETER: KER-SNAP! >Everyone gave a glare to him. PETER(Mad Hatter, singing): Oooooooh! A very merry UN-birthday, to you! A very merry UN-birthday, to you! . . . B-KO(covering her ears): Peter!! Stop singing!! > > >"No! Now get out of the way, I'm trying to find out what's >>wrong." Washu snapped. > >Washu: Yeah! B-KO(Washu): What she said! > >>Tenchi, from his bedroom, Nobuyuki, from the library, and >>Mihoshi, from wherever she passed out last, > >Cypher: Where she'd get the toilet ring around her neck? PETER(Mihoshi with a hangover): Woah. I gotta stop drinking so much. I’m starting to dream of poorly done MSTs. B-KO: Are you referring to them, or us? PETER: I don’t know. >Ukyo: You're really asking for it, you know that? > >>entered into the bedroom. >>They each saw Sasami, and said, "Washu!! Did you do something to >>Sasami!?!?!" > > Washu: (In perfect timing with her double) >>"WHY IN HELL DO YOU ALL THINK THAT I'M THE ONE WHO'S CAUSING >>SASAMI TO BE LIKE THIS!?!?!?!" screamed Washu. PETER: The Washu in the MST said “screamed Washu”? B-KO: No, you idiot! That’s just YOUR fic! PETER: Oh . . . I knew that. >"I'M TRYING TO FIND >OUT >>WHAT'S WRONG, DAMNIT!!!" > > >Ryo-oh-ki approached Sasami, and gently nuzzled the arm of her >>best friend. Suddenly, Ryo-oh-ki found herself in the bone crushing >>embrace of the blue hared princess. PETER: Proof that she’s related to her mother! >Sasami rubbed the cabbit all over >>the front of her body. > >Mew: (Ryo-oh-ki) Merowwwww! > >>"S-so warm, fuzzy! AH! Feels so good! Ooooh!" > >Everyone:................ >REBB01: Can you think of anything? >Glyph: Naw, can you? >Ukyo: Total mental shut-down. PETER(Sasami): Mega yiffy, Ryo-oh-ki! B-KO(to Peter): I have no idea what “yiffy” means, but if you ever say that word again, I’ll hurt you. PETER(large sweatdrop on the back of his head): Okay, I get the point. > >>Sasami seemed >>to really enjoy the feeling of the small furry body on her own. > >Mew: ## Wasn't Ryo-oh-ki with her just a few minutes ago? ## B-KO & PETER(to Mew in the MST): Your point being? > > >Ryoko went over to free her cabbit from Sasami's remarkably >>strong grip. When the former pirate pulled Sasami's arms away, >>Ryo-oh-ki rolled off of the princess, and passed out a few feet away. > >Ukyo: Ouch! >Washu: Owie! >Glyph: Ai-yahoo! >REBB01: Eewich! >Cypher: Aiiiiiiiiiiiii! >Mew: ## Mama! ## B-KO: Chief! PETER: McCloud! > >>Suddenly, Sasami quickly embraced Ryoko, kissed the shocked young >woman > >>fully on the lips, and began to hump her body. Ryoko let out a >muffled > >>scream of surprise as she was embraced in a hug that was strong enough >>to push all of the air out of her lungs. > >Glyph: I really don't like where this heading! PETER: You think that’s bad, I was originally planning on putting in an inflatable love doll reference, in there. (B-ko mallets Peter.) *WHAM!* OW! > > >Sasami continued to moan softly into her kiss, and every so >>often let out a cry of pleasure on the upbeat of her humping. > > >"Ayeka, would this be similar to what happened to you, when >you > >>tried to check Sasami's temperature?" asked Washu. > >REBB01: (Ayeka) Naw, for me she kinda went into a sixty-nine. >Washu suddenly drops a big bell on the cybertronian. B-KO: Did he say that, or did that actually happen? PETER: I don’t know. >Ukyo: Yipe! >Glyph: Hey! You could have warned us, ya know! >REBB01: Hey! Let me outta here! B-KO(REBB01 as a southern belle): I can not stand tha northern aggression we face here! PETER(to B-ko): Oh, so you’re the one who drank the coffee I made this morning. B-KO: Sorry. I thought it was decaff. PETER: On THIS station? B-KO: I know. I said I was sorry. > >>Ayeka, ghostly pale as she watched the scene unfold, simply >>nodded "Uh-huh." > > >Yosho then marched in from the hallway. "Miss Washu, the >trees > >>from Jurai are shaking, I think Azaka and Kamidake are trying to do >`The >>Macarena' > >Everyone but REBB01 glares at Glyph. >Glyph: Hey, I didn't say it! PETER: But I wrote it! B-KO(to Peter): Lucky you. > >>again, and. . ." Yosho noticed Ryoko & Sasami, and regained >>some of his usual composure. > >Screeeeeeeeee-ringggggggggg! Klunk! PETER(Stan): Oh my God! They killed Kenny! B-KO(Kyle): You bastards! >REBB01: Dat's better! > >>"Miss Ryoko, could you two at least wait >>until Sasami is older?" > >REBB01: Sniff, sniff, I smell Lemon scent. B-KO: Probably from Sasami doing the dishes last night. PETER: Ooh! Kinky. (B-ko mallets Peter, again.) *WHAM!* Ouch! > > >"mrrrph! Himmph! Grrmn-himph!" Ryoko's muffled screaming held >>more panic, than actual anger. > >Cypher: Oh my goddess! B-KO: IT’S MEGAMI-SAMA!!! >Ryoko's turned in to Kenney! > > > "Trust me Yosho, it wasn't Ryoko's idea." > >Someone started giggling. >Ukyo: No shit, sherlock! PETER: What’s a ‘sherlock’? B-KO(dressed up as an old English detective): It’s lack of capitalization, my dear Watson. > >>Said Washu as she >>turned back toward her computer. > >Mew: (To Ukyo) ## But I thought you did? ## PETER(to B-ko): Did that make sense to you? B-KO: No. PETER: Okay. Just checking. > >>"Oxygen intake, increased by fifty percent. Blood pressure, increased >>by twenty percent. Hormone balance. . .up one hundred and twenty >>percent!?! How can that possibly >>be?" > >Cypher: You don't want to know, really. > > >"Miss Washu!" Mihoshi interrupted. "I think Ryoko's having >>trouble breathing!" > > >"What are you talking about?" said Washu. "Ryoko was made to >>withstand environments with zero oxygen. . ." Washu noticed that Ryoko >>was indeed turning blue. > >Washu: Now she's. Purple. >Cypher: Green >Ukyo: Kinda yellow. >Glyph: Bright red, surely. PETER(to Glyph): Don’t call me Surely. >Mew: ## White. ## B-KO: Clear. >REBB01: Snot green with Peach polka dots! >Everyone: ........... >Glyph: Where the hell did that one come from? >REBB01: Don't ask, don't smell. PETER: We got the idea, Griff. > >>"Oh. . . Help me separate them." > >Cypher: Why don't you put them in your centrifuge? PETER: Because she wants them NOT to have sex. *WHAM AGAIN!* B-KO(lowers mallet): Now behave yourself, Peter. >Washu: (defensively) I only did it the once. B-KO: And don’t even think it, Peter. PETER: Okay, okay! Don’t hit me anymore! > > >Tenchi, Mihoshi, and Washu managed to pull Sasami's arms from >>around Ryoko. The cyan-hared one then jumped back away from Sasami, >and >>started gasping for air. > > > > "I *PANT* really *GASP* wish *WHEEZE* she *GASP* didn't *PANT* >>slip *HUFF* me *GASP* the *WHEEZE* tongue!" Ryoko managed to say, as >she >>got air back into her body. > >Ukyo: Not so hard, Ryoko. Tenchi's flappin' in the breeze. >WHAP! (Peter reflexively gets knocked out of his seat, as if he was hit by a mallet. B-ko gets a large sweatdrop on the back of her head, but says nothing.) >Washu: That's my daughter you're talking about. > > >Ryoko's three saviors stepped back before Sasami could get a >>hold of them too. The blue-hared girl let out a slight disappointed >>moan at the loss of sensation, but quickly resumed her previous >actions. PETER(getting back into his seat): She keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, (B-ko pulls out a remote control device, and points it toward the control booth.) and going, and go- *SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!* (Twelve gallons of ICE water is dumped on Peter, and the MST resumes.) B-KO(placing her remote back in her pocket): Never leave the booth without it. > > >Mihoshi then realized something. "You know, Kiyone used to do >>something similar to this all of the time. Only she usually had her >>hands between her legs when she was doing it. But if you come within >>arms reach of her during that time, she'll grab you and-" > >REBB01: ..select the reverse choke hold and plant your face in the >dirt. B-KO: Not one S&M comment, Suzuki. PETER(soaking wet): Got it. > >> Mihoshi did >>not notice the shocked stares coming from everybody else. . . Except >of >>course for Sasami, who was gyrating her hips, and Ryo-oh-ki, who was >>still passed out on the floor. > >Ukyo: One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor! PETER(drunk): I’m not drink osifer, I only had a cupel martoones . . . > > >Washu decided to check the hunch that what was happening WAS >>similar to what Mihoshi was referring to. Needless to say, it solved >>one mystery only to lead to another. > >Mew: ## Like who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? ## >Everyone else:.......... B-KO: I only had one! PETER(Cookie Monster): COOKIES!!! *ARRRGHGRUMBLEMUNCHCRUNCHCHOMPBITECHEWSWALLOW!!!!* (B-ko and everyone else all stare at Peter, nervously.) > > >"This can't be right." Muttered Washu. > >Cypher: (Washu) Two plus two equals four, not five. PETER(Washu): What’s my num-lock doing on? > > > >"There's no outside >>stimulus, no internal stimulus. This shouldn't be happening on its >own, >>especially at this level of magnitude." > > >Washu: (in response) ..of your guy's stupidity. (then notices everyone >else) I meant the crude boys in the front. B-KO(pointing to Peter): What about him? PETER: Hey! > >>"What's wrong, Miss Washu?" asked Tenchi. > >Washu: I am having trouble getting past the final boss he's so short >Panty's normal punch sails right over his head! >REBB01: (to you people) 5 points extra credit to any one who can guess >what the game is. B-KO: Not a clue. PETER: I think I know what you’re talking about, but I’m not sure. > > >"Don't call me `Miss', and according to my readings, Sasami is >>about to experience pubicloital, fricative sensation, sensory >overload." > > >"Huh?" remarked six voices, eerily in unison. > >REBB01: That isn't errie, (Mimicking a Hydralisk) This is. >Everyone else: CUT THAT OUT!!!! PETER(pulling out a Pokeball): Bah! That’s nothing, watch this. DEFILER I CHOOSE YOU!!! (The Pokeball releases a large, butt-ugly, cross between a slug, a scorpion, and a centipede.) DEFILER(slobbering all over itself): RAAAAALSH!!! B-KO(holding nose): Peter, call nit back!! Nit’s stinking up na nole theaner!! PETER(also holding nose): Nokay!! DEFILNER, RENURN!!! (The Defiler is called back to its Pokeball.) B-KO: Never do that again, Peter. PETER(sitting back down): Right. >Mew: ## Save me, Save me. ## >(At this point, Glyph is trying to breathe around a tail) >Glyph: Mmmmmmfphew! PETER(pointing at Glyph): Did she just fart and sneeze, at the same time? B-KO: Peter, try not to make this any worse than it already is. > > >"She's going to have an orgasm." Washu explained. > >Ukyo: I knew I wasn't Gonna like this. B-KO(announcer): Random capitalization from every character! > > > >"Oh, that's all." Said the six, sounding relieved. Then they >>realized what Washu said. "SHE'S WHAT!?!?!" > >Washu: How far in layman's terms do you want this? >Glyph: When you get crude, you get weird. NO! >REBB01: (To Glyph) She has to GET weird? >(Washu contemplates which one to hit first) PETER: The robot. The other one has your paycheck. > > >>Even Ryo-oh-ki woke up at >>that realization. > >Ukyo: Who wouldn't? > >>Washu decided to continue. "And according to the psychological >>readings, she's reacting to all outside stimuli as if it was causing >the >>sensation." > > >Nobuyuki was the only one who understood that. "So whoever >>she's hugging, she imagines that THEY are having sex with her?" > >REBB01: Anyone want to touch that? >Cypher: Not with a ten foot polecat. >Ukyo: And it stinks just as bad. B-KO: No, that’s because of the Defiler. PETER: Look, I’m sorry, okay! > > >"That's correct." Said Washu. Nobuyuki quickly left the >room, > >>and then returned with the camera. "Uh, what are you planning to-" > >Cypher: (Nobuyuki) Jerry Springer will pay a hundred bucks for shot >like these. >Ukyo: The bad part is, I can imagine that. >REBB01: (Announcer) Next on Jerry Springer, "Princesses who get in >touch with themselves.without any help" B-KO(to Peter): By the way, what’s on Jerry tonight? PETER(reading TV listings): “Cheating Transvestite Lesbian Midgets and the Malformed Eskimos That Love Them”. B-KO: Again? PETER: Apparently it picks up where last night’s show left off. >WHANG, TISH TANG, HINK, TACK, WHAND-DANG. >REBB01: I made it this time. HUH? PETER(badly dubbed): The monster named Gamera is destroying the city, huh. B-KO(ditto): Gamera is friend to all children, and is made out of turtle meat. PETER(ditto): Yes. It is really neat. >(Mew suddenly smacks REBB into the ceiling, then he floats him back >down) >REBB01: I'm going to get you for that. B-KO(REBB01): As soon as I get this dent out of my spine, you’re in for it, Pokemon. > > >"Tenchi!" exclaimed Nobuyuki. "Go over there and hug Sasami." > >Cypher: (Tenchi) Okay. >WHANG PETER: Okay, what just happened? >Washu: Don't go there. Too many people do. B-KO & PETER: We know. > > >"OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!!!" shouted four girls, and one boy. > >Glyph: Anyone want to volunteer in creating it? > > >"Miya! Miya! Miya!" chirped Ryo-oh-ki. > >Ukyo: Well, that's three votes `yea'! B-KO: All those opposed? (Nobuyuki in the fan fic, raises his hand.) What the . . .? > > > "No, you may NOT go over there and let Sasami hug you again." >>Snapped Ryoko. (B-ko momentarily chases Peter around the theater, with a mallet.) *WHAP!* (B-ko tosses a dazed Peter back into his seat, and sits back down in her own seat.) > > >Ayeka then realized something. "Miss Washu, if Sasami reacts >>that way to any stimulus, then when she hugged. . ." both Ayeka and >>Ryoko reached for the wet spots on their clothing. The warm, sticky, >>wet spots right were Sasami had been rubbing that special spot between >>her legs, on them. > >Washu: Ooo, what were they thinking? PETER(still slightly dizzy): What are you talking about? You were the one who made the diagnosis! > >>"Yes, Ayeka. When Sasami had you in her hug, she was imagining >that you were copulating with her." > > >Both Ayeka and Ryoko turned white as pale as ghosts. > >Glyph: too much of a metaphor, or did the computer suggest something >without checking? PETER: Comma accidentally got erased in the final version. > > >Ayeka >>quickly made her way toward the bathroom, and threw up. > >Ukyo: (Ayeka)You know, I didn't know I ate that. >Glyph: (Checking personal barf bag) Hey, who put this mouse in >here---Pathos! >Outside: Me know nothing. B-KO: The outside said that? PETER: I think that mean that humanoid, cat, projectionist, whatever. > >>Ryoko looked very depressed. > >REBB01: (Ryoko) I wanted to start it. B-ko: Don’t go there. >Ukyo: We're trying to raise the standards, not lower them. > > >"S-Sasami thought that she and I. . . Oh, I feel so >>violated!!!" cried Ryoko. > > >Ayeka walked back into the room and muttered, "If mother ever >>found out about this, she would laugh until she lost bladder control." > >Cypher: (Masaki) PETER(through “Mr. Bullhorn”): THAT’S MISAKI!!!!!!! MISAKI!!!!!!! M!!!!!!! I!!!!!!! S!!!!!!! A!!!!!!! K!!!!!!! I!!!!!!! MISAKI!!!!!!! B-KO(covering ears): Shut up!!!!! PETER(still through megaphone): WHAT?!!!!!!! DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, B-KO?!!!!!!! B-KO(pulling the megaphone away from Peter’s face): I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!! PETER(wincing): Well you don’t have to shout. >Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah>ahahahaha >hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah(piss) >oh crud. B-KO: Oh, please tell me he didn’t actually do that, just now. PETER: He didn’t actually do that, just now. B-KO: Thanks Peter. PETER: No problem. >Ukyo: Hey, we had to warn him. (Pointing with her thumb to REBB) Do we >have to the same thing to you? > > >Ryoko cried on Tenchi's shoulder. "Oh, Tenchi! I'm sorry. >>That's probably how it's like for you, too, isn't it? I'll never try >to >>seduce you again, unless you want us to make love, I promise!" said >>Ryoko. > >Glyph: That sounds more like Minagi. PETER: Actually, I really didn’t know that much about Minagi, when I made this fic. > > >"Miss Ryoko!" Ayeka snapped. "You know perfectly well that >>Lord-Tenchi has never made love to anybody, especially to a woman like >>YOU!!!" > > >Ryoko glared at Ayeka. "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, > >(every woman in the room stares at REBB and Cypher, as going >get-the-hint) (B-ko stares at Peter, as going get-the-hint. {I don’t know, they said it! -- Peter Suzuki.}) > >>will ya! I mean WHEN he wants to make love." She lovingly gazed into >>Tenchi's eyes. "Right, Tenchi?" > > >"Ryoko, will you please not grab my rear-end like that." >>commented Tenchi. > >Glyph: That's more like the Ryoko we know. B-ko: Of course. > > >Ryoko looked perfectly innocent as she said, "Okay, Tenchi. >How >>do you want me to grab it?" Ayeka slapped Ryoko's hand off of Tenchi. >>! Hey!" > > >"Miss Ryoko! Lord-Tenchi did not mean what he said in THAT >way, >>and you know it!" Ayeka then lovingly gazed into Tenchi's eyes. >"That > >>monster woman did not molest you too badly, did she Lord-Tenchi?" > > >"Don't worry Miss Ayeka. I'm fine." Tenchi then frowned >>slightly. "I'd feel even better if you would now get YOUR hand off of >>my rear-end." > >REBB01: Woooo! Wooooo! (Peter and B-ko both stare nervously at REBB01.) B-KO: Whatever. > > >Ayeka managed to pull her hand away before Ryoko could slap >it. > > >Mihoshi scratched her head. "Miss Washu, shouldn't we move >>Sasami to your lab, or something? I mean there has to be something >that >>you can do." > > >Washu shook her head. "For the last time, it's LITTLE-Washu, >>not `Miss' Washu, and it would not be a good to move her at this >time." > > >"Why?" questioned Ryoko. "It's not like she's going to >>explode." > > >"In a way, she IS." Replied Washu. > B-KO(NASA control): T-minus ten seconds and counting. PETER: Quickly! Increase the ‘Flash Gordon’ noise, and put more science stuff around! >Cypher, in reading Mew's signs: Ten.. nine.. eight.. seven.. six.. >five.. four.. three.. >Everyone else: SHUT UP! B-KO & PETER: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! > > >Then they all realized something. > >Ukyo: That they're in a Lemon Fic? B-KO: That they were being MSTed twice? PETER: That boxers are more comfortable than briefs? (Everyone, including the characters in the fan fic, stare at Peter, nervously.) What? TENCHI(in the fan fic): We’re not getting paid enough to do this. PETER(to Tenchi, in the fan fic): You’re not getting paid anything. TENCHI(in the fan fic): Exactly. SASAMI(in the fan fic, still looking slightly aroused): Can we hurry this, please? I got another lemon to do, after this is over. B-KO(to Sasami, in the fan fic): A Tank Cop fic? SASAMI(in the fan fic): Yes. B-KO(to Sasami, in the fan fic): My condolences. SASAMI(in the fan fic): Thank you. I appreciate it. > PETER(to B-ko): Did what we just do seem at all weird to you? B-KO: No. Why do you ask? PETER: Me neither, and that worries me. > > "Ohh! Ahh! OOOOOHHhhh!! EEEahh!! AAAh!! OOOoooh!!! >OOOOOAAA!!!" B-KO & PETER(singing): Ting tang! Walla-walla, bing bang! > > >Sasami's moaning was getting louder. > > >Washu: (Muttering) .and her bitching isn't getting any quieter. (Sasami, in the fan fic, takes out a mallet, and hits Washu.) *WHAM!!* WASHU(in the MST): OW!! (Both Peter and B-ko glance nervously at their empty drink cups, but do not press the matter further.) > > >"What's going on!?!" Tenchi yelled over the noise. > > >"She's reaching climax!" replied Washu. > > >"Whatdowedo!?!? Whatdowedo!?!?! Whatdowedo!?!?!?!" Mihoshi >panicked. > >Glyph: endthisdumbfic.endthisdumbfic! PETER(to Glyph, in the MST): Notasnowball’schanceinhell! Notasnowball’schanceinhell!! > > >"Pray I don't run out of video tape!!" said Nobuyuki. > > > "Mr. Masaki, I would greatly appreciate it if you would NOT >>record the embarrassment of my little sister reaching the `Clouds and >>Rain', thank you very much!!!" Ayeka shouted at Nobuyuki. > >Everyone: HUH? > > >Ryoko arched an eyebrow in confusion. " `Clouds and Rain'? >>What the heck is that?" > >Everyone: You got us. > > >Everyone else stared, shocked at what Ryoko just said. "You. >. > >. >Really don't know, do you?" stated Ayeka. > >Ukyo: You mind telling us? >REBB01: Or is it one of those Don't ask, don't smell questions. (Peter, now dressed up in a lab coat, that is labeled “Kiss me. I’m mad.”) PETER(Professor I. M. Boring): “Clouds and Rain” is an ancient Japanese term, used primarily by aristocrat families, to state having an orgasm. B-KO(bored): Thank you mister know-it-all. > > >Ryoko did not get a chance to respond. Washu realized that if >>Sasami's voice kept getting louder at its rate, well. . . > >Washu: SHE"S GONNA BLOW! PETER: No, I left that out of this fic! B-KO(swinging a mallet): Don’t make me hurt you! > > >"EVERYONE, GET DOWN!!!" Washu shouted. > >Everyone: BOMP-cheecky-bow-wow B-KO(singing): Get down! Boogie-oogie-oogie!! . . . > > >Everyone else started making `Rap Music' noises. > > >"I MEAN, DUCK!!!" Washu shouted. This time everybody >>understood, and listened to Washu's orders. . . Well, almost >everyone. > >Ukyo: Mousse, get out of the way. PETER(Daffy Duck): You’re despicable! > > >Ryoko and Ayeka flapped their arms and called out, "Quack, >>quack, quack, quack, quack!!" > > >Upon Washu's angry glare, the princess and the pirate stopped >>fooling around. > > >"AH!!! OH!!! OOOOOHH!! YES!!!! AAAAAAAH!!!" (The music from “Flint The Time Detective” starts playing in the theater.) *HOOM BA! HOOM BA! HOOM BA! . . . . HOOM BA! HOOM BA! HOOM BA! . . . . HOOM DAGA! HEEN DAGA! HOOM DAGA! HEEN DAGA!* B-KO & PETER(large sweatdrops on the backs of their heads): Uh . . . . . . . . . . > >>At that point, Sasami finally climaxed. Her INTENSE screams rocked >the > >>very earth itself. > > >>"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA>A > >>AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!!!!! AAH!!! >>AAH!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!" B-KO(covering her ears): She’s not very quiet, is she!!! PETER(not covering his ears): WHAT!?!?!?! B-KO(still covering her ears): I said “She’s not very quiet, is she”!!! PETER: WHAT!?!?!?! > >####################################################################### > >>JURAI: About the same time. > >Cypher: Sudden scene change.trippy. PETER: WHAT!?!?!?! CYPHER(in the MST): I said- B-KO(to Cypher, in the MST): Don’t bother. PETER: WHAT!?!?!?! B-KO: I said- Oh, never mind! PETER: WHAT!?!?!?! > > >It was a very bad day in the Jurian royal palace. (Peter pulls some cotton balls out of his ears.) PETER(to B-ko): Now, what were you saying? B-KO(unhappy): Just forget it, Peter. PETER: But . . . B-KO(angry): I said forget it! >Almost all >of >>the soldiers, servants, and officials were in a panic. Almost all. > >Glyph: Old geezer alert! PETER(through megaphone): DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!!!!!! DANGER!!!!!! > > >"Hey, Karu." Said an old, retired Jurian night, who sat in an >>old rocking chair. > > >"Yeah, Taro?" responded another retired Jurian night, in a >>similar rocking chair. > > >"Ain't never been a panic like this one in a long time, has >>there?" said Taro. > > >"Well I don't know, Taro. The royal trees shaking like they >are >>don't seem so terrifying ta me." said Karu. B-KO(to Peter): How come you’re having them talk like that? PETER: That’s just how I thought they would talk. I didn’t mean anything by it. > > >"Oh, yeah? Well, name one time that there was this much panic >>in the troops." Said Taro. > > >"Well. . . There was dat time when the Emperor found Misaki >and >>Funaho, in bed together." Replied Karu. > >REBB01: Ooo, one of those scenes. PETER: Yup. B-KO(depressed): C-ko . . . > > >"Yeah, I guess ya got me there. Nutting was like that day!" >>said Taro. > > >Both old men shared a very good laugh. > > >Yes, the Jurian empire was in an uproar because all over the >>galaxy, all of the Jurian royal trees, weather B-KO: “Weather”? PETER: An honest typo. Don’t worry about it. >guardian, ship, or just >>plain tree were seeming to shake enough to rattle the universe itself. >>The ships were bouncing around the docking bays, Jurian officials were >>getting motion sick in their space vessels, the guardians were >actually > >>succeeding in keeping intruders away from the palace. . . including >>everyone else for that matter. It was like all of the trees had gone >>bonkers, at once. > > >Queen Misaki woke up to the feeling of the palace shaking. >>Still half asleep, she decided to do something about it. She kicked >>her >>sleeping husband, Emperor Azusa, out >>of bed, and told him to do something about the shaking. > >Washu: Kick, thump, hurh? B-KO(pointing to Washu in the MST): Did she just do an impersonation of Tim Allen, or are we freaking out? PETER: I have no idea. > > >Grumbling and groggy, the emperor picked up one of the alarm >>clocks in >>the bedroom as he plodded out the door. He continued down the >hallway, > >>to the main hall, >>past the throne room, through the mob of panicking soldiers and >>servants, by two retired Jurian nights, > > >"Good morning, Taro." Said Azusa, in monotone. > > >"Good day, my lord. Lovely day for a stroll." replied Taro. > > >"Good morning, Karu." Said Azusa, in monotone. > > >"You are aware that you're still in your pajamas, right?" >>replied Karu. > >Girls: Don't go there! PETER: Okay. > >>around the corner, through the arches, following the yellow brick >road, > >>up the hill, down the hill, up the hill, down the hill, around the >>McDonald's, over hill and over dale, past the Denny's, nothing but >net. > >>. . oops, wrong bit. . . through the double doorways, past that >weird > >>guy they found on Earth, > >Cypher: Somebody lost track on the story. PETER: No I didn’t. > > >"Good morning, Elvis." Said Azusa, in monotone. > > > "Lemmie outta here, man!!!" Screamed the overweight, >.greasy-hared musician. > >Ukyo: .Passing the kid with a map and a yellow and black bandanna... >Glyph: (Ryoga) Where is Nerima? B-KO(announcer): Or, PIIIIIIIGS IIIIIN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!! >Cypher: Speaking of which. > > >>past a couple of jerks who were caught in the palace gardens lighting >>their farts, > > >"Good morning, Beavis. Good morning, Butthead." Said Azusa >>in-ah you know how he says it!! > > >"Huh-huh, he said `butt'." Chuckled the brown-hared one. > > ">Heh-heh, Fire! Fire!" said the blond-hared one. > >REBB01: That's weak. Try this (Inferno, waving flame thrower) >BUURRRNNNNN, Infedels. B-KO: HA! I’ve got one even better! PETER: Uh, B-ko . . . B-KO(suddenly dressed in her Akagiyama battlesuit: AKAGIYAMA NAPALM!!! *BOOOOOM!!!* PETER(on fire): AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! B-KO(realizing what she just did): Oops. (Takes out the remote.) PETER(flaming): MY LIFE WAS A LIE!!!! COBRA!!!! COOOOOOBRAAAAAAAA!!!!! *SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!* (The twelve gallons of ICE water puts out the flames.) Hooooooo . . . . B-ko, next time, DON’T! B-KO(helping Peter back into his seat): Sorry. Kinda I got carried away. >Everyone else: You moron, Cut it out! B-KO: Look I said I was sorry! GLYPH: Not you. Him! (Points at REBB01, who has set fire to a couple of the chairs in the MST.) REBB01(in the MST, doing an impersonation of Bobcat Gothwaith): What? > >>through another pair of double doors, past the Clocman Diamond, and >>finally to the place that housed the garden for the royal trees of >>Jurai, and where a great amount of the >>shaking was coming from. > > >When Azusa opened the doors, he saw ALL of the trees shaking >>like >>crazy. In the distance, he could swear that he heard a woman's voice. >>The emperor shouted, >>"HEY!!! WHOEVER IS DOING THIS!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT >>IS!?!?! IT'S. . ." Azusa >>noted that the clock he took required a power outlet, not that it >>mattered since its cord was ripped out. > >Everyone else by Glyph: Sounds like you in the morning. PETER: Now pan over to Glyph . . . and now back to everyone by her. > > >"WELL, NEVER MIND EXACTLY WHAT >>TIME IT IS!!! IT'S STILL EARLY IN THE MORNING, AND ROYALTY NEEDS TO >>SLEEP YOU KNOW!!! SO STOP IT RIGHT NOW, YOU HEAR ME!!!" > >Ukyo: God, that does sound like you. B-KO(monotone): Wheeeee . . . > > > >The royal trees stopped their shaking momentarily, to make way >>for what was to come next. A massive wave of orgasmic pleasure ripped >>through the melee, causing the trees to shake even more violently then >>before. Azusa was knocked over as the force nearly shook the entire >>dome off its foundation. Then, although it had nothing to do with the >>emperor's threat (like that would stop him from taking credit for it), >>the shaking stopped. Azusa congratulated himself on a job well done, >>and left. > > >Meanwhile, at the center of the garden for the royal trees, >>Tsunami sat >>in front of her tree. Her hair was a mess, her robes were undone, >there >>was a puddle of something forming between her legs, clear goo covered >>her left hand and trailed down her arm, but she looked VERY content >with >>herself. (B-ko pictures C-ko in the same position.) B-KO(to Peter): Do you have a handkerchief? PETER(pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket, and hands it to B-ko): Here. B-KO(uses the handkerchief to stop her nosebleed): Thanks. > >Mew: .......... >Ukyo: Yow! He passed out! > > >"That was FUN!!" cheerfully thought Tsunami. "I can't believe >I > >>never thought about doing this before." She then licked her cum off of >>her hand, and reentered her tree. > >####################################################################### PETER(announcer): Pound for pound, Peter Suzuki fan fics are worth your better comedy value. > >>BACK ON EARTH. > > >Fragments of broken glass lay on the floor, from all of the >>shattered windows. Nobuyuki's camera lens was cracked, as was his >>glasses. Mihoshi still was crouched >>down, covering her ears and face. Yosho was just wearing a mangled >>piece of metal on his face, for that was all that was left of his >>spectacles. Washu's computer had a large fissure going down the >>monitor. Ryo-oh-ki uncurled her ears, Ryoko and Ayeka tried to stop >the >>ringing in their heads, and Tenchi checked to see if he still had the >>ability to hear. > >Glyph: Pheeeee-yoww! B-KO(announcer): This is a test, of the Anime Port’s patience. > > >And where was Sasami? The second princess of Jurai lay in the >>center of the room. Both of her pigtails had come out of their buns >she >>tied them in before she went to sleep. Her pajamas were stained near >>the bottom, with a warm, sticky, fluid that could only be her dew of >>passion. And aside from being very worn out, she looked very, VERY >>happy with the whole situation. > > >Tenchi was the first one to speak. "Washu, do you think it's >>over?" > >Everyone: Wooooo! Hallelujah! (Angels appear overhead in the theater.) *HAL-LE-LU-JAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!* (And just as mysteriously as they appeared, they vanished.) PETER: Uh . . . B-KO: Peter, just pretend that nothing happened. It’s better, that way. > > > "Yes it is, Tenchi." replied Washu. "Whatever it was, it has >>now run its course, and is finally over." > > .>Sasami then sat up, and wiped some of the sleep from her >eyes. > >>With a cute smile she stated, "Whatever it was, I hope that it happens >>again! ^_^" B-KO(old geezer): EVIL! (Peter just shakes his head.) > >REBB01: I hope not. > >>And to all, a good face-fault. > >Everyone: Whapang! PETER: More like WHUMP! > >>THE END. > >>AUTHOR'S COMMENTS: > >>I'VE POURED GASOLINE ALL OVER MY BODY, SO DON'T FLAME ME!!! O_O > >REBB01: (readies flamethrower) Is that a challenge? PETER: Do you want a repeat of what happened earlier? B-KO(quietly singing to herself): And the writer’s red glare . . . PETER(to B-ko): I heard that. B-KO: Sorry. > >>Now that I got that out of the way, I wish to defend my Fan Fic. >>Weather you like it or not. > >>Wow, my first lemon. . . And it's (kind of) funny. > >Ukyo: That could be debated. B-KO: Word. PETER: Hey! > > > I don't know when I >>decided to make this a lemon. It just CAME to me all of a sudden. >>_< > >>Yes, I know that this is a Sasami lemon, and that everyone says that >>they all should be burned in some great funeral pyre, with their >>writers. Hey, I hated "In The Carrot Patch" (sorry, don't know the >>writer's name. But it is rumored that some other Fan Fic writers us >his >>name as an alternative to cursing now) as much as the next guy, but I >>tried something different (I hope) from the usual `Sasami-Lemon-Fic'. > >>If you paid attention, you would have realized that I didn't make this >>the usual "Oh my god!! That was sick AND perverted!!!" lemon Fan Fic. >>I tried to make this one kind of cute. ^_^ > >Washu: Cute? Try weird. >Cypher: And that's coming form you, Washu? B-ko & PETER: Word. > >>. . . . . . I should be worried, shouldn't I. -_-; > >All: YES! PETER: Well I’m not, so there! (Peter sticks his tongue out at them.) NEYH! > >>Well, if you still hate it so much then do a MST on it. I certainly >>won't stop you. In fact you could do the same for ALL of my Fan >Fiction >>stories, and I won't stop you. Go ahead, make my day! > >>Just remember, I can also do an MST of a MST. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!! PETER(evil laugh): BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!! (B-ko just shakes her head.) > >REBB01: GO ahead, make our day. B-KO: Done that, been there. > >>Oh, by the way. I've finally found an answer for why there are so >many > >>Sasami lemons, but no Nobuyuki lemons. Sasami is the cutest >`humanoid' > >>character in the series, and gains some sexual attention from some >>respectable Fan Fic writers (You know who you are.), and MOST >>non-respectable Fan Fic writers (Same thing. You know who you are.). >>Weather you like it or not, Sasami is cute, sweet, and more desirable >>then MOST people would like to admit. (B-ko stares nervously at Peter.) PETER: Not one word. > >>Nobuyuki is another story entirely. Being a pervert is not the >problem, >>if perversion was a problem then there would be no lemon Fan Fic, >>right? The problem is that Nobuyuki looks, and acts like a Japanese >>version of `Homer Simpsion'. > >Cypher: (Homer Simpson) Doh! B-KO: Actually, It’s more like “D’oh”! PETER: No, more like “D’OH!”! B-KO: How come you and the others can do that so well? PETER: Practice. > >> And if you get the English dubbed versions >>of the Tenchi Muyo series he even SOUNDS like him. Also here's >>Something to consider; Who in their right mind would want to see >>Nobuyuki having sex? Just a thought. > >Everyone: Full body shiver! OOOOOOOOO! PETER(evil laugh): BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!! B-KO: Jinnai-uh, I mean Peter, It’s over. > >>Oh well, until next time. Adidas! > >Glyph: What does sneakers have to do with it? B-KO: Absolutely nothing. And that’s the point. > >>Peter Suzuki. PETER(Angela Anaconda): That’s me! That’s me! > > > > >Glyph: Well, what do you guys think? (B-ko tries to do the “It STINKS!” routine, but Peter stops her.) PETER: Don’t. > >Rest: WIEEEEEE-RD! PETER: Thank you. > >Glyph: Be a little more specific > >REBB01: It did have an interesting beginning. And the ending was a >kicker! But your thought of Nobuyuki in your comments EEEeeww. PETER(Brooklyn accent): You talkin’ ta me? Hey! You talkin’ ta me?! > >Cypher: This isn't a lemon, this is a lime. At least. B-KO: I think that’s why it said “Mild” lemon at the beginning. > >Glyph: I don't think I can get through a Lemon without puking. PETER(sarcastic): Well that’s always pleasant to know. > >Mew: ## BYE! ## B-KO & PETER: BONDS! (Peter and B-ko both get up, and start to exit the theater.) PETER: Hey, B-ko. I’m working on something that I need your help with. B-KO: Does this have anything to do with the large brown bag, you dragged in here yesterday? PETER: No. That was my lunch. I’ve been working on it in the storage bay, you have to see it. B-KO: Okay, okay. Just hurry up, so we can get out of here. Why did you have to shove all the seats to the sides of the theater? PETER(moving another seat out of the way): Hey, you were the one who wanted swivel chairs for the MST, not me. There! Now we can get out. (Peter and B-ko both exit the theater.) > > > > > > B-KO(off screen): Oops! Almost forgot! (B-ko runs back into the theater, into camera range.) Ahem! And until next time, the theater is closed. *KLANG!* (The doors close, and the lights turn off, leaving B-ko in the dark.) HEY! PETER(from outside the theater): B-ko? Where did you go?! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Group assessment to MST author; PETER: Not the most original thing I’ve seen, but it could’ve been worse. B-KO: Keep trying. You’ll get better. End of documentation. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- AUTHOR’S NOTES: Well they say that imitation is the best form of flattery (And because of my jokes, I know this better than anyone ^_^;). I’ve seen worse first MSTs (You don’t want to know where, or by who.), and this one HAS potential. Also, I’d like to apologize for using the MST characters in my own comments during this MST of an MST. I can only hope I will not see an MST of this MST of an MST, because then I’d have to make an MST of that MST of this MST of an MST. Did you get all of that? Anyway. What’s this?!? Peter plotting a precocious plan!?! B-ko needed to assist in the system?!? What dastardly deed could they be doing!?! And HOW will this affect the cast of the Anime Port Number Nine?!? Tune in next time; Same MST time, same MST station! EYECATCH: PETER(to B-ko): Did what we just do seem at all weird to you? B-KO: No. Why do you ask? PETER: Me neither, and that worries me.