AnimePort#9 MST. MST#9 The MST of: "10-Chi Returns" DISCLAIMER: My following apologies to the following people and/or companies for borrowing and/or creating parodies of their characters, and stories; Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ video, AnimEigo, Pioneer LDC, AIC, U.S. MANGA corps, Kosuke Fujishima, Nintendo, Creatures Inc., GAME FREAK Inc., Best Brains Productions, a bunch of anime companies and writers that I do not know personally, My third grade math teacher, and all others who would be insulted by this MST (Original FanFic writer, optional.). .......................................... Somewhere in the vastness of the multiverse, there is a certain focal point of the worlds. A place where our reality and those of our favorite comic books meet, and are able to cross. At this place was constructed a huge station, technically advanced in ways that surpass even the most futuristic of realities. In this place research is conducted on the fictional stories that are created by the ever adoring fans of the comics. FAN-FICTIONS. One man from our reality, a sponsor of the station, has been given the task of leading the research on the stories, by bringing together the most unique group of people from the anime realms. The place is "AnimePort#9". These are the reviews. . . _________________________________________________________________________ Technical note: MST'd by the following group of people and/or characters. PETER SUZUKI. PRISS ASAGIRI. RANMA SAOTOME. AYEKA JURAI. Documentation made by the following; B-KO DAITOKUJI. Begin recording of research documentation. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Cue to the lounge. Ranma is standing by the control booth door, holding something that kind of looks like a taco. He seems to be trying to keep it from the other MST group members, who are standing slightly behind a Chihuahua. "Just drop the Chalupa, man!" says Peter, aiming his bazooka at Ranma. "No!" shouts Ranma. "Drop it, Saotome." Says Priss, aiming a handgun at Ranma. "Drop it now, Ranma." says Ayeka, readying her whip. "Yeah, yeah! Drop the Chalupa!" says the Chihuahua, with a slight Mexican accent. "Never!" shouts Ranma. Suddenly, B-ko slams the door open *BAM!!!* smashing the Chihuahua with it. Ayeka, Peter, and Priss momentarily look dizzy, as they come to their senses. Ranma uses the distraction to quickly eat the Chalupa, before anyone can react. "Hey." Says Priss. "Were we just hypnotized by a talking rat, into trying to make Ranma drop a Chalupa?" "Woah, heavy concept." Mutters Peter. "Guys, I got some big news!" shouts B-ko. "Mruph, mif mit?" says Ranma. "Ranma, please refrain from talking with your mouth full." Says Ayeka. "You remember that lemon done by the 10 o'Clock Assassin?" says B-ko. "How could we forget?" says Peter. B-ko holds up a recently printed flyer. "Well, he made another `New And Improved', version! One with all the bad parts people hated, removed from it!" "Gimme that." Says Priss, as she grabs the flyer. " . . . . It's true!" "I gotta see this." Says Peter. "B-ko, any chance you can load the fic for us, tonight?" Suddenly the signal to start blared. *What a waste it is to lose one's mind-or not to have a mind. How true that is.* "Already did." Says B-ko. "Now get in there!" "Right!!!" shouts Peter and the rest of the group, as they quickly enter the theater. B-ko shuts the door, to reveal that the Chihuahua is flattened against the wall, in a two dimensional, `Tom & Jerry' -ish sort of way. It suddenly peals from the wall, and a flight of Tacos sing him to his rest. "Yo . . . . qui . . . . ro . . ." says the Chihuahua, as he floats away. ======================================================== (The MST group enters the theater, which four special seats lay in the center of. The group members sit, from left to right in the camera's view; Ayeka, Ranma, Priss, and Peter.) AYEKA: Amazing. We are actually eager to see this. RANMA: Yeah, who would've thought it would happen? PETER: Well, let's savor the moment, shall we? PRISS: We can't. OTHERS(to Priss): Why? PRISS: The fic's starting. OTHERS: Oh. >Shinji The 10 o'Clock Assassin PRISS: Killing '10 o'Clock' s right and left. >http://members.xoom.com/Shinji_2200/KNSImpact.htm PETER: Oh, he's got a home page, now? >tyree3@pacbell.net This fanfic contains sex and harsh >language. AYEKA: Well, that would make more sense than a fan fic that contained sex and `baby talk'. >Viewer's discretion is strongly advised. RANMA: And just HOW many people have their parents reading fics, along with them? PETER(narrator): Now remember kids, don't tell your parents you're reading this. >If not; then you can go watch the Disney Channel for all I care. PRISS(standing up): Great! I'll just- OTHERS(including B-ko): SIT DOWN, PRISS!!! PRISS(sitting back down): Jerks. >************ ALL: It's snowing! ^_^ >The next day, at the Society for the >Prevention of the Use of Underaged Anime Girls for >Lemons... ALL: . . . PETER: When the hell did they make that? >Shinji: But I made these girls over 18 years of >age! WHAT PART OF "OVER 18 DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND??!!" RANMA: The `over 18' part. >Clerk: Oh, the parts where you >include incest. >Shinji: Oh, excuse me. PETER(Shinji): I farted. PRISS: That was lame, Peter. PETER: I'm just getting warmed up. >"Super Taboo" is a >sex manga brought to the US by Eros Comix, and it became >one of the top selling comics here. It had incest pouring out >of it's pages! >Clerk: I see... AYEKA(Clerk): I will put out an APB on the comic "Super Taboo" immediately. >Shinji: I'm also a writer of a bunch of Eva lemons! Why didn't you attack me then?! PETER: I'm still stuck doing Tenchi Muyo, that's why. >Clerk: Because it was the creator's fault. >Shinji: And why is it that I'd get kicked in the groin for doing lemons like >these; and yet everyone else is making, AND >COLLECTING MIND YOU, hentai pics of Sasami, Ruri, >Skuld, and...! OH LOOK!! IS THAT A NAKED CHIBI- >USA UP THERE??!! PETER(looking up): Where? AYEKA: Priss, hit him for me. PRISS: Gladly. (Hits Peter.) *WHAM!* PETER(flying out of his seat): Wendy, I can fly! (Hits the wall beyond the aisle.) *WHUMP* AYEKA(to Priss): Thank you. PRISS: No problem. RANMA(looking up): Why'd you hit him, anyway? There's nothing up there. (Ayeka and Priss both backhand him.) *WHAM!! WHACK!!* . . . . Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? >Clerk: THAT IS ENOUGH!! PETER(getting back into his seat, and doing an impersonation of the clerk): THE MST GROUP'S BECOMING A BAD THREE STOOGES ROUTINE!! >10 o'Clock, I'll have you know that we're keeping a very sharp >eye on you for now on! We refuse to put up with more of >your mindless fuck-a-minute fuck-a-thons! AYEKA: Watch your language! >And don't think >we can't do anything to you. We have the technology. PRISS(Clerk): We control the horizontal, we control the vertical, we control that little clicking thing you call a mouse . . . PETER(Clerk as Dr. Forester): And remember; I know who you are, and I saw what you did! . . . >Shinji: (Sneering.) RANMA(Shinji): I don't like you. >I see... And hey! >Clerk: What is it? >Shinji: #1: Puff Daddy is still number one on the rap charts. ALL: It is? >#2: South Park is making a killing on cable. PETER(Stan): Oh my God! Kenny killed the cable!! PRISS(Kyle): You bastard!!! >#3: End of Evangelion is still being praised as the number one movie for five years. AYEKA: So `Titanic' was just a figment of our imagination? >And #4: Pokemon is one gigantic "chicken- fight," and yet >children all over the US are trying to "catch them all." RANMA: Now this guy's just trying to stretch an idea too far. >Explain to me why is that? PETER(Xelloss): I'm afraid THAT, is a secret. ^_^ >But the clerk didn't listen to him. >He's currently hearing the latest Puff Daddy jam. AYEKA(deadpan): Oh my word. He is trying to commit suicide. >His desk is >filled with paraphernalia from South Park and Pokeman. >And his computer screen has a screen saver that replays the >dreaded "mastubation scene" from the End of Eva. ALL: EEEW!!! >Gee, that >explains everything! PRISS: Who said that? >That night, the 10 o'Clock Assassin is >in front of his computer trying to figure out a way to clean >up PETER: all the dried- OTHERS: PETER!!! PETER: What? >his most MST'ed fiction to date. RANMA: Try a street sweeper. >Shinji: Okay, let's see... >Removes sex scenes with Achika and Mayuka... Huff... AYEKA: Yes, definitely remove those. >Probably remove the Tsunami and Mitsuki sex scene as >well... PETER: Tsunami and Mitsuki together? (Hit over the head, by Priss.) *TWACK* OW! >************ 10-CHI RETURNS or BECAUSE I LOVE TENCHI MUYO ************ ALL(bored): Yaaay. > RANMA(narrator): Previously, in 10-Chi . . . (Peter and Priss start making sound effects.) PRISS: *SHWIIING!* PETER: *SPLUUURT!* PRISS: *SHWIIING!* PETER: *SPLUUURT!* PRISS: *SHWIIING!* PETER: *SPLUUURT!* PRISS: *SHWIIING!* PETER: *SPLURT!-SPLUUURT!* AYEKA(to the others): That will be enough of that. >It's morning at the Masaki household. The sun shines through the window, >causing Tenchi to wake up before his alarm goes off. >He opens his eyes and tries to focus them. He then rolls over to >find... RANMA: If it says he's on a Plate of Sashimi, I'm going to scream. >Ryoko's smooth body right next to him. He also finds >out that she's very, VERY unclad. AYEKA(angry): Of course she would be, what with HER sense of modesty. >Ryoko: (Smiling) Good morning, Tenchi. >Now Tenchi; already groggy from a year >of sex, sex, and more sex; goes automatic. PRISS: His reflexive conditioning finally taking effect. PETER(Tenchi as Inspector Gadget): Go-Go `Mighty Johnson'! (The other group members stare at him nervously.) What? >He kisses Ryoko >in the mouth and soon slams his cock into the wiley alien. PETER: But what about Ryoko? AYEKA(to Peter): Peter, shut up. PETER: This would be REALLY boring if I had to stay quiet the whole fic. AYEKA: . . . Good point. >On the other end, she's pretty amazed at the fact that it's >been over one Earth year now, and he's still at his peak >performance. Whatever Washuu had sneaked into his food >that day must've done wonders for his sexual drive. After a >while Ryoko explodes PRISS: because unfortunately, SHE was no longer at her peak performance. OTHERS: PRISS!! >under the power of his cock before >Tenchi shoots his seed (Priss makes a shotgun noise.) >and empties himself into his first >alien "friend." PETER: Tenchi, can't you just wait until you get to the bathroom, before you do that? OTHERS: EEW! >He then takes some clean clothes and leaves >the room wondering why he isn't so groggy from all that >vaginal muscular pressure on his cock. AYEKA: Oh God! He HAS been spending too much time around Washu!! >-=**=- AYEKA: It is a staircase! PETER: It's a Pokemon! RANMA: It's a bird! PRISS: It's a plane! >(It's a scene change.) ALL: Oh. >He goes into the nearest bathroom, but the door's >locked. RANMA: But didn't you just say he went into it? >Tenchi was just about to pout when the door >suddenly opens from the inside. It's Princess Aeka, wearing >only her bathrobe. Both of them are surprised at first, but >she greets her lover (and great^? grand-nephew?) PRISS(Victor from "Darkstalkers"): Great? How great? AYEKA: And the author pointed this out, why? PETER: Good point. You were about to marry your own brother, after all. AYEKA: Shut up, before I hurt you. >with a weak smile. >Aeka: Oh. My apologies, Lord Tenchi. The >other washroom is still in repairs (from me and Ryoko >fighting over you) AYEKA(sarcastic): Oh my word! Someone is inserting words into my mouth!!! RANMA: Isn't that what every fan fic writer does? >. Your father said it was okay to use this >one right here. >Tenchi: My apologies, your highness PETER(Aeka): What about it? *BA-DOOM! CRISH!!* >. But I >really have to use the restroom now. He tries to go in, but >the princess is still in his way. >Aeka: If and only if... You allow me to join you. PRISS: Weren't you just in there? >Obviously, the attempt to avoid her >majesty this morning is an utter failure. And so, he goes in >as her highness closes the door behind him and locks it. PETER: She must have nimble butt cheeks to do that! (Ayeka's shield units surround Peter.) *ZAAAKAZAAAKAZAAAKA!!!* >And so, after what seemed like the longest piss ever, Tenchi >soon RANMA: colapsed from dehydration. >felt like the weight of the world had fell off his >shoulders. (Priss makes the noise of something really big falling onto the floor.) PETER(Tenchi): OOPS! >He then finds the weight of Princess Aeka on his >shoulders AYEKA(warningly): Not one comment out of ANY of you, got it?! OTHERS: Yes, princess. AYEKA: Good. >as she wipes some of the piss (as well as the >stench of Ryoko's "baggy pussy") (A red plasma bolt comes out of nowhere, and strikes the screen.) *BLAM!* (It only succeeds in making a slight burn mark. The MST group all get large sweatdrops on the back of their heads, but do not press the matter any further.) >from his cock with a >washcloth. She then positions herself against the door which >Tenchi wanted to go out through PETER: like Herman Munster. PRISS(Aeka): Lord Tenchi, we must really talk about your irrational destruction of doors for the past few days. AYEKA: Shut up, both of you. I am not in the mood to put up with your shenanigans tonight. >. >Aeka: Now now, Lord Tenchi. There's only one way out. >Poor Tenchi had no >choice but to pleasure her highness. AYEKA(crossed): And that is a problem to him, WHY? >He kisses her in the >mouth as he plays with her small breasts (Ayeka's eyes start glowing red.) PETER: Ayeka, calm down. It's just a fic, remember. (Ayeka's eyes stopped glowing, but she still looks angry.) >and cunt. She >returns the favor by massaging his massive hard-on; being >careful not to let it explode before it's proper use. Tenchi >then lifts up her left leg as he slides his cock into her. The >thing to note is that he really doesn't like putting his cock >into her highness because she's SO FUCKING TIGHT!!! RANMA: Did ya have to shout it so loud? >The fact that she has the flattest chest (Ayeka's shield units appear all over the theater.) AYEKA(really angry): I DO NOT HAVE A FLAT CHEST, YOU- (The following obscenities went unheard, as the sound of the electricity, and the screaming from the other three group members, drowned out everything else.) AND DO NOT FORGET IT!!!!! (Ayeka's shield units disappear, and she sits back down in her seat. The other three extra crispy group members momentarily remain upright, then collapse back into their seats.) AYEKA(to the other MST group members): I am sorry. I got a little carried away. I know. OTHERS(burned): You . . . sure . . . did . . . >instantly gives away >her secret. And it's always the same: He hammers it in, he >EXPLODES PETER(Kohran from `Sakura Wars'): Darn et! I reely got to feex dat! (That's what she sounds like to me, in the dubbed version. Sorry. -- Peter Suzuki.) >and empties himself into her... >Aeka: Tenchi! You done it again! You came and didn't give me the chance >to come with you! HOW DARE YOU!!! AYEKA(holding her whip): TWENTY LASHES!!! *CRACK!* *SNAP!* (The other MST group members scoot away from Ayeka.) >And next comes the >apologizing, the butt-kissing, and ultimately the pussy- >licking. Not that licking her highness's soft fleshy petals is >anything bad, mind you. But she had the sex-drive of an 18- >wheeler; PETER(Mac Truck): *BEEP!* *BEEP!* >meaning that it will take him about an hour or two >to get her off using his tongue, fingers, and unreliable cock. RANMA: I guess the old "Mighty Johnson" ain't so mighty, now. AYEKA(to Ranma): Shut up. RANMA: Yes'm. >-=**=- PRISS: It's a bug! >(Kohran from Sakura Wars after an explosion.) PETER: You forgot the glasses! >Tenchi then heads downstairs... (Aw, fuck it.) RANMA: Why not? You're doing everything else today. >And decides >to pay a little visit to Washuu's laboratory; hoping that she >isn't doing anything weird this morning. ALL: Fat chance! >Washuuu: Well, good morning my dear Tenchi. Would you like to take part >in one of my experiments today? >Tenchi: No thanks. I just came here to slam my cock into your pussy so hard; your >title of "Universe's Greatest Scientist" will be reduced to "Fourth Greatest." Nothing more. PETER: That's a new one. PRISS(Washu, sarcastic): Oh Tenchi, you say the nicest things. >Washuuuu: Oh, that's a mean thing to say about me. And I had something special >cooked up for you, today. >Tenchi: (Shakes his head violently...) Hey! What is it with all these "u's" after your >name? AYEKA(Washuuuu): I am trying to annoy that author who wrote "WASHU'S NAME IS SPELLED WITH ONE `U' DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" . RANMA(to Ayeka): How the hell can you say that without actually shouting? AYEKA(shrugging): It is a talent. >Washuuuuu: I'm not sure. People were complaining >about the proper way my name was spelt... > >Author takes >break to check Japanese dictionary, PETER: He should pause the fic, first. >taking a note that the >name of the greatest scientist in the solar system means >"Eagle Feathers:" >Washi = Eagle >Yuu = Does One's Hair RANMA: Ranma = Wild Horse PRISS: 10-Chi Sequel = Stupid AYEKA: This Scene = Even More So PETER: Shinji The 10 o'Clock Assassin = Wasting Time >Washiyuu... PRISS: Gesundheit! >Wasyuu... RANMA: God bless you. >Washuu... AYEKA: Cover your mouth. >Washu... >Oh, I see! >Goujira... Godzilla! PETER(pulls out a Pokeball): I'll catch him!! (My apologies to Ksa, for using that joke.) > >Tenchi: Forget this! Can we screw now, MS. WASHUU? PRISS(Washuu): Don't call me miss! >Washuu: Not today, unfortunately. My real >body's currently in the chamber for a centurial prognosis >and the only spare body I have on stock had no vagina. So... ALL: . . . . . . . . AYEKA: If the words "eye" and "socket" appear within the next paragraph, the author WILL die by my hand . . . >Second point down. Ms. Washuu IS doing something weird. >But his grief soon turns into estacy (albeit a sick one) (The MST group starts looking a little green.) >as the >small prodigy takes his cock out and does amazing things to >it with her tongue and hands. (The MST group sighs in relief.) AYEKA: Thank goodness . . . . I think. > >[ADVERTISEMENT] And >now, you too can own the highly controversial Universal >Kama Sutra! Only $24.95! WHAT A BARGAIN!! >Available RIGHT NOW at your local Tower and Virgin >CD/Video/Book Store! GET IT TODAY!! >[END ADVERTISEMENT] ALL: . . . . . . . . . . . RANMA: Hey, Peter. PETER: Yes, Ranma? RANMA: Did we just see an actual commercial inserted into this thing? PETER: Yes. RANMA: Okay. Just checking. > >Tenchi totally loses it PRISS(Tenchi, looking down): It's gone! PETER & RANMA(crossing legs): PRISS!!! AYEKA: I am just going to cover my eyes, for the rest of this scene. (Places her hand over her eyes.) >as he shoots his >seed into the red-haired scientist's mouth. But she's unable >to swallow it all and has to contend with having his white, >gooey sperm splurt all over her cute face and hair. (Peter opens his mouth to comment.) >(Shut up! Or do you want me to put Sasami in this as well?) (Peter shuts his mouth.) >Washuu: See? Almost as good as the real thing, huh? >At this point, AYEKA: Is it okay for me to look, now? PETER: Yeah, the sex scene's over. >poor Tenchi couldn't decide whether to facevault or go-hard >again... >-=**=- PETER: The lower portion of a tank. >(Shermie after being caught in her own "spiral.") PRISS: And I'm sure if we knew what you were talking about, that would've been funny. >Despite this morning's "cock-shootings," PETER: Oh the humanity! Dead chickens everywhere! >Tenchi >manages to have some breakfast and is currently on his way >towards Tokyo University. AYEKA: Well, that would be quite a bit of a walk, considering that he lives IN OKAYAMA!!! RANMA: I get the felling you're not enjoying this fic, Ayeka. AYEKA(sarcastic): Whatever gave you that idea, Ranma? >He nearly passes the Miho-Kiyo >apartment along the way before his mind starts to click >again. PRISS: That cortex bomb Washu installed finally activated. >Tenchi: Oh, what the hell. Might as well do >something for the Miho- Kiyo fans. >He goes up to the door >of said apartment and knocks on it... AYEKA(sarcastic): Gee, I wonder WHAT is going to happen? >After a couple seconds >the door opens to reveal the lovely "Teal-Dressed Goddess" >Kiyone; sporting the luxurious swim suit she wore during >the "Mugen Tenchi Muyo" lemon sidestory. RANMA: Why is she wearing a swimsuit now, in October? >Kiyone: Oh. Hi, Tenchi. >Mihoshi: ALRIGHT!! IT'S TENCHI!! COME ON IN!! PETER(through megaphone): TENCHI MASAKI, CUM ON DOWN!!!!!!! AYEKA(angrily): Peter!!! PETER: Sorry. >And he does so, looking towards Kiyone who's silently >insulting the bronzed bubblehead. Not wanting this to turn >into another bad Miho-Kiyo fiasco, PRISS: Oh yeah, you know how out of hand their fights get. RANMA: Sarcastic? PRISS: Of course. >Tenchi comes around >her back and kisses the cheek of the goddess with the red >headband. He then looks toward Mihoshi who's wearing the >same style swimsuit, only with less material on it. PETER: Forgot something again, eh Mihoshi? >Tenchi's >cock grew to fuller than full mast when he caught the mere >glimpse of the lovely Mihoshi. AYEKA(trying to calm down): It is only a fan fic. It is only a fan fic. It is only a fan fic. . . . >But he saw Kiyone first so... >He asks the goddess who was at the now-closed doorway if >she didn't mind being boinked by him. And an answer had >already been given when she unzipped his fly and removed >the bulge from his pants. She licks away at his member, and >in no time flat his seed RANMA: Hey Peter. Did that just say she licked away at his member, and in no time flat his seed? PETER: I . . . guess so. AYEKA(trying to calm down): It is only a fan fic! It is only a fan fic! It is only a fan fic! . . . >was already flying from his >cockpiece and onto the lovely Kiyone. She then takes his >shrinking member PETER: I'd to the "I'M SHRINKING!!!" bit here, but I don't have the heart. >and slithers it into her wet and waiting >pussy, causing him to go hard once more. >[Tenchi notes again that whatever Washuu gave him had really done some >wonders for him. His refraction time has been cut very >short. RANMA(narrator): He also notes that he's been putting way too much thought into this. >] He takes her by the waist and slams his cock into her, PRISS: But you said it was already in her. >watching in awe and amazement as Mihoshi licks all of his >come off Kiyone's face, hair, and breasts. And added to the >immense pleasure is the loud moaning and torrent of lady- >cum caused by his love for her and his large cock. AYEKA(trying to calm down . . .): It is only a fan fic!!! It is only a fan fic!!! It is only a - AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!!!!! ( . . . and failing. Ayeka's shield units appear around the theater again, and once more electrocute the other three group members. Peter, Priss, and Ranma are all electrified, while Ayeka yells in anger. The other three unfortunate ones who were electrified, did jumping jacks, the 'Dancing Baby' routine, the 'Macarena', the 'Moon Walk' spin, and finally collapsed.) AYEKA(sitting down): I know. I am sorry. PETER(burned to a crisp): Somebody please answer that phone . . . >Far from >being through, he then takes Mihoshi by her cute bottom >and slowly slides his cock into her (Peter, Priss, and Ranma all get up, momentarily glare at Ayeka, and sit back down in their seats.) >as he plays with her large >breasts. It feels so good as he continuously slides his >member in and out of her, PETER(Tenchi as Homer Simpson): Dick goes in! Dick goes out! Dick goes in! Dick goes- (Hit by Priss.) *WHAM!* OW! >causing the lucky GP officer to >moan even louder than Kiyone had. Speaking of Kiyone, >she's now between the legs of her love and roommate; PRISS: Make up your mind! >adding more pleasure to them with her expertice in tongue- fu. (Ranma starts humming the "Kung-Fu Fighting" song, but he stops when he notices Ayeka and Priss both glaring at him.) >Mihoshi soon loses her control PETER(Mihoshi): I can't stop it!!! I don't know how it works!!! Goodbye folks!!! >and another torrent of >lady-cum is caused; falling all over Kiyone's face. RANMA(Carl's Jr. commercial): Cause if it doesn't get all over the place- PETER(ditto): it doesn't belong in your face! AYEKA & PRISS: Shut up. >Tenchi >then exits her canal, rolls her over, and sprays his semen all >over the bronzed blonde's face and breasts; which were still >bouncing about from Kiyone's hand playing with her >roommate's still-sensitive pussy. RANMA: Uh, does anyone know exactly who's doing what, to who? PETER: No idea. I lost track, somewhere after Mihoshi telling Tenchi to come in. >Tenchi then looks at the >clock... He's got an hour before his class actually starts! AYEKA: Well, hurry up and get out of there, already!!! >This guy has to go! PETER(Tenchi): I shouldn't have drank all that orange juice, at breakfast! >But not before giving the lovely Miho-Kiyo >duo a deep kiss goodbye to each. RANMA: Do ya get the feeling the guy writing this is as confused about this, as we are? AYEKA: Possibly. >-=**=- PRISS: Hey, buddy! Your lights are on!! >(Hideaki Anno after meeting some really pissed-off fans of Eva. With MALLETS!) PETER: It's . . . HAMMER TIME!!! (Rap music starts playing in the back ground.) I still got it. >My language is harsh! AYEKA: No kidding. >And coarse like the >sands of time! And you will be struck! ALL: Owe! >STRUCK!! ALL: OWE!! >With a tidal wave of words!" RANMA: Surfs up! >Tenchi's in his History 5 class >watching a film about the Reformation, PETER: and having the nagging sensation that he's seen this somewhere before. >where Martin >Luther and his followers take a stand against the spoiling of >religion. "Well, that's what happens when you leave it out in >the open for too long!" ALL: . . . . . . . . . . . AYEKA: I have the distinct feeling that WE have also seen this somewhere before. >jokes one classmate who's seen way >too many "Cash Money Records" videos. ALL: Huh? What? >After said class >Tenchi's about to leave when he hears a certain, yet >soothing, voice... >Sakuya: Good afternoon, Ten-chan. RANMA: Is it just me, or is this the exact same plot as the first `10-Chi' fic? PETER: It's not just you. >Tenchi: Uhh... Hi, Sakuya. How are you doing? >Sakuya: I'm doing fine! Hey, ain't that Mr. Fujisawa so cool? PETER: For the last fishing time; (Through megaphone) THE TEACHER IN "TENCHI IN TOKYO" ONLY _LOOKS_ LIKE FUJISAWA!!!!! >Tenchi: Yeah, he is cool. But I'm thinking about dropping the class. >Sakuya: Huh? How come? >Tenchi: Well... I've been too busy. On top of my other two classes I got... (A hard-on in >my pants again!) PRISS(to the author): Would you quit putting extra words into the character's mouths, already!!! >Some other projects to deal with. >Sakuya: Well, I'm so sorry to hear that, Ten- >chanyouain'thidin'thatcockfromme. RANMA: Woah! Wait a minute here! PRISS: Just when you thought she couldn't get any scarier . . . AYEKA: She should really cut down on her caffeine intake. PETER: Well . . . Look at the bright side. OTHERS: Bright side? PETER: At least she isn't saying "daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!!" >Hey! How about we go >someplacesoyoucanboinkmewiththatlargecockofyours and >get a soda? >And by this point, AYEKA: Tenchi was trying to figure out just what Sakuya was saying. >Tenchi knew exactly what >she's been saying. AYEKA: Really? How? >He takes her to the nearest janitorial room >which is not being used RANMA: and just happened to be there. >. And as soon as he closed the door, >Sakuya was already sliding along side him in eagerness. He >lifts her left leg, going under her ravishingly short skirt, AYEKA: I am beginning to see why Ksawarrior hates her so much. PRISS: Do you, now? >and >pushes aside her frilly underwear to lick at her soft, >moistening pussy. PETER(Tenchi): Hey! There's a wet cat under here!! RANMA(panicking): CAT!?!?! WHERE!?!?! AIIIIEEEE!!!! (Jumps behind his seat.) PETER: Oops! Sorry Ranma. >His tongue massages the girl's dampening >entrance, (Ranma checks to make sure there really is NO cat, and sits back in his seat.) >causing her to moan loudly. "Thank God for >soundproofing," he thought as he causes her dam to break PRISS: Quick!! Get the duct tape! PETER: Priss, don't steal my lines, please. >after a while. Tenchi then takes his cock out and somehow >manages to slide it into her. PETER: Would you make up your mind, Tenchi!!!! >Sakuya cries in sheer pain, >noticing out much larger he's become sence she was last >done by him. RANMA: When was that? AYEKA: Knowing this absurd author, the previous day, at the exact same time. >Overdriven by lust, Tenchi starts drilling a >deeper hole into his latest girlfriend as he slams his salami >into her. Sakuya has been sent past the "point of no return." RANMA(Stan): Oh my God! Tenchi killed Sakuya!!! AYEKA: Good. >And Tenchi blows yet another load into yet another >beautiful girl today. And OH DOES THAT FEEL SO >GOOD!!! The janitor who had caught them leaving, on the >other hand, did not find it so pleasing... PETER(Janitor): Why can't my days be like his? >Janitor: Goddamn you kids! That's the fifth time you used that place in about a >month now!! PRISS(Janitor): And it's only the fourth!! >-=**=- RANMA: A side shot of two throwing stars stuck in a dart board. >(A crab with no claws.) PETER(to the author): You're running out of ideas too, aren't you? >Later on, Nagi >is outside the Masaki Shrine trying to figure out a way to >capture the (former) space pirate Ryoko without causing >some unneeded reaction from the other residence RANMA: The next door neighbors? >: Aeka will >have a fit ("She's mine! Nobody gets revenge on her except >for me!") AYEKA: You got that right. >, Sasami will cry for centuries, the two spacecops >won't like it one bit, Washuu will try to blow the world up, PETER: In the TV series? The OAV's, maybe, but not in the other series. >and Tenchi will actually cause his hidden power to come out >of hiding. PRISS: That's what's been happening this entire fic. >Nagi: Damn you, Ryoko. You're just too comfortable within >the safety of this household. Just how >long are you planning to hide in there? >She soon notices >Tenchi coming from down the street. He then catches a >glimpse of her, thinking it's Ryoko wanting to have another >sexual discussion with him and AYEKA: ran away. >marched straight towards her AYEKA(disgusted scream): AAAGH!!! >to put an end to it. But as he gets closer, he soon >recognizes her as the "intergalactic bounty hunter," and >decided that maybe he should go the other way... PETER(Tenchi as Snagglepuss): Exit! Stage left, even! >Nagi: Tenchi Masaki! (Stopping him in his tracks with her >words.) Ryoko is a coward not to challenge me one-on-one. >Are you a coward as well? RANMA: She sounds more and more like Kuno, every time I listen to her. >Tenchi: Look. I don't wanna have >sex with you. I'm already sore from doing six women as of >today. >Nagi: And will it hurt you to do one more, Masaki? PETER(Tenchi): When Aeka finds out, yes! AYEKA: You got that right . . . . Wait a minute. >Or am I just too hideous to be even considered worthy of >your mighty salami? AYEKA(crossed): His `Tenchi-ken'. RANMA: His `Naughty Tentacle'. PRISS: His `Mini Cannon'. PETER: His `Trumpy'. (The others stare at him nervously.) What? >Come to think of it... Nagi can be quite >attractive when she wants; despite the freakish hairstyle PRISS: Hey, her hair looks better than Ryoko's. >and >the large revenge streak. She has the three sizes that are >somewhere between Kiyone and Mihoshi, PETER: Uh, wait a moment. Kiyone and Mihoshi are nearly the same size. It's nearly impossible for Nagi to be between them. PRISS(muttering under her breath): He would know about this. >and she should be >checked out during the episode where the "bathing suit >contest" was held. Tenchi soon has Nagi in his room. RANMA(Tenchi): Hey, how'd we get here so fast? PETER(Unknown Voice): Because you are on a Plate of Sashimi. RANMA(Tenchi): NOOOOOOO!!!! >Nagi: I'll be just a mere doll to you. Do with me whatever you like. AYEKA: I see. It all makes sense now. The author has absolutely no idea what the actual characterization of the cast is, and he is just trying to fake it with what little knowledge he knows! PETER: You just might have something there, Ayeka. >Tenchi: No way, Nagi. I like for you to participate in this as well. >And with that said, causing the hard-boiled bounty >hunter to RANMA: become scrambled. PRISS: Ranma, think of what you just said! RANMA(thinks about it): . . . . . . . What? >sigh heavily, she removes her firm-fitting >battlesuit with the flick of her wrist. She lays on his bed and >spreads herself wide so he can get a majestic view of her. (The MST group starts making jungle noises.) >But what caught his attention more was the many scars the >bounty hunter picked up whilst on the job. PETER: Really? Where were they in the swimsuit episode, then? >Tenchi: Oh my! RANMA(Tenchi as Kasumi Tendo): I'm turning into Kasumi! >You got a scar there as well?! PRISS(Nagi): Yup. I'll never use my combat knife for THAT, ever again. >Nagi can only give out a weak >sneer RANMA(Nagi): I don't like you. >(?) PETER(Riddler): Riddle me this Batman! WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!!!! >as Tenchi goes in and licks at her only softspot. RANMA: Does that mean the rest of her is armor plated? >After she moistens a bit, she tells him to get on the bed with >him. He does as he's told as Nagi removes the enlarged >member AYEKA, PETER, & RANMA(Ayeka for different reasons): ACK!!! (Priss falls out of her seat, laughing hysterically.) >once more and goes down on it like nobody's >business. The two soon placed themselves into a 69 position. >And sometime later, AYEKA: we will recover from the `member removal' line. PETER & RANMA(crossing their legs): Don't remind us. PRISS(Nagi): Ryoko; I have your man's little man. If you ever want to see it again- OTHERS(to Priss): Oh shut up! >Tenchi's face is covered with bounty- >hunter-lady-cum while Nagi makes him blow his load all >the way down her throat; an amazing feat for someone who >already has a cock halfway down her throat. And after >shooting a large load of cum, it's still hard. PETER(Stimpy from `Ren & Stimpy'): It stays crunchy, even in milk. >Nagi then >positions herself over a zonked-out Tenchi; RANMA: Stick a fork in him, he's done! >who she immediately wakes up. PRISS(Tenchi): Oh man. I dreamt I was put into a sequel for Shinji's Tenchi Muyo lemon, and started doing every girl I knew and . . . . Oh no . . . >Nagi: It's not sleepytime yet, Tenchi my dear. You still have a job to perform. >She then slides his >throbbing member into her... AND OH GOD SHE'S SO >TIGHT!!! AYEKA(disgusted): Yes, the reverse equivalent of the fabled "Oh, it's so BIG!!!" >Well... Not as tight as Sakuya... Aeka's the >tightest... PETER: Yup, the author's confused. >But Nagi is about SO FUCKING TIGHT that he >would've exploded into her instantly... Had it not been for >her womanhood clamping around the base of his cock; >unabling him to come at that instant. PRISS(sarcastically): Gee, do you think the author is trying to tell us she's tight? PETER: Could be. >Tenchi: You seem to have had some experience in this before... >Nagi: It's an alien thing, baby. PETER: Now even I'M saying she's out of character. >"Predator," "Star Trek & Star Wars;" they ain't >got nothing on the rest of us! >Tenchi: But it isn't fair. I want to explode right now if you don't mind. PRISS(Nagi): Okay, here's a hand grenade. Now open wide. AYEKA(warningly): Priss. >This causes another >sigh from the bounty hunter as she lets him exit her >supernatural cunt... ALL: . . . . . RANMA: `supernatural cunt'?? PETER: A Mighty Johnson, and a `supernatural cunt' brought together by a chain of events, that . . . AYEKA: Peter, shut up. PETER(to Ayeka): Make me. (Ayeka's shield units surround Peter.) . . . I'll shut up, now. AYEKA: Good. >But not all the way out. She only keeps >the head of his cock in; massaging his meat as fast as she >can. This sends the poor guy into supernova RANMA: I guess he DID swallow the grenade. AYEKA(to Ranma): Please, shut up. >as he empties >himself once again into the wiley semi-villain's sexual >entrance. After said second blast, he falls onto her body >exhausted from all the sex with ladies from another planet. >And Nagi soon has his head along her breasts, so he can lick >at and around the nipples, PETER(Nagi to Tenchi): You big baby, you. AYEKA: PETER! PETER: I know. I just had to say it, that's all. I have to do SOMETHING! >before falling prey to the attack of >the "slumber fairy." RANMA(slumber fairy): MOKUTAKABASHA!!! >-=**=- PETER: It's me with writer's block. >(Two punks on the floor >searching for the small meth pills, but are unsuccessful >because they're already high. So they end up hitting each >other in the heads and therefore caused brain damage onto >themselves.) ALL: . . . . . . . >And this is why a guy like him should never >have weeks off... Ever! AYEKA: Shut up. >The next morning Tenchi meets up >with the ladies in the living room. It's about time to reset the >"Weekly Schedule." PETER: Right after the group orgy. OTHERS: PETER!!! >So he takes the folded-up pieces of >paper and places them in his father's hat. PRISS: Take your father out of it, first. (The other group members stare at her nervously) I'm bored, okay! >He shakes the hat >up ("No cheating, Ryoko." "Alright, alright!") and gives >each of the pieces of paper to the ladies. The schedule will >be as follows... RANMA: God help us all. >Sunday=Mihoshi (YAY!!) AYEKA: I am supposed to be first!! >Monday=Sakuya (Alright!) >Tuesday=Aeka (I shall prepare something extra special for you, Lord Tenchi.) >Wednesday=Ryoko (I'll see you, princess. And then I'll raise it!) >Thursday=Nagi (Hmph. Haven't won yet.) >Friday=Kiyone PETER(Kiyone): JIN! >(It's kinda sad, really...) >Saturday=Washuu (My real body should be ready by then.) RANMA: He doesn't even have SUNDAY off!?! Two weeks of this, and he'll be in the hospital for sure! >One thing will be for sure, though: ALL: This fic stinks. >Whatever >Washuu had placed into his food that night... It's gonna be >in his strict nutritional plan if he ever wants to see another >decade. ~_~; RANMA: Ain't that the truth. >THE END ALL(cheering): YAAAAAAAY!!!! > >The Tenchi gang are at the movie >theatre AYEKA: and immediately go out to beat the author within an inch of his life, and tell him how to spell `theater'. >; watching the last part of the film run its course... PETER: So "THE END" was only meant in a _relative_ sense. >Tenchi: So, girls. What do you think? ALL(various girls from the "Tenchi Muyo" cast, giving the `OK' hand sign): It STINKS!!! >Ryoko: He took out >the parts about Mayuka and Achika. RANMA: Thank goodness for small favors. >Everyone was complaining about that. >Aeka: Hmph! I'd rather have his own mother touch him instead of you! AYEKA: . . . . . . . . . I am going to find the author, and give him a very slow, and VERY painful death. PRISS: Can I help? >Ryoko: Oh yeah! And don't tell me that you don't wanna touch him either, you >shrew! >Aeka: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!! >Another Ryoko Vs. Aeka fight ensues until Washuu hits the both of them >with her prized "zapping laser invention thingy." PETER: Patent pending. >Kiyone: I'm actually surprised that the 10 o'Clock would go back and >clean up this piece of garbage AYEKA(Kiyone): and make it into THIS piece of garbage. >. >Mihoshi: Why are you being so mean? We get to have sex with Tenchi! (Giggles.) RANMA: That's not really a good thing, you know. >Kiyone: Well, I wanted to have sex with him alone. The >whole romance thing gets ruined when you're around me. ALL: What romance? >Mihoshi: That's not true, Kiyone! You and I are great >together! >Kiyone: No, YOU're great together. PRISS(Kiyone): And even better when I'm using bad grammar. >I'm better >alone with Tenchi. >Sakuya: So, you're an intergalactic >bounty hunter. Nagi's your name? >Nagi: Yes. PETER(Nagi): Don't wear it out. >And you must be Sakuya; "Tenchi's latest girlfriend" from Shin Tenchi >Muyo. >Sakuya: Correct! >They take a moment to stare at each other... PRISS: If this becomes a lemon scene, I'm going to be screaming till the cows come home. >Nagi: Your behavior spooks me, kid. >Sakuya: And you look like you should be in a band or something... >The gang then exit the theatre deciding on whether to hurt the >author some more or actually "thank" him PETER: All those in favor of "hurt", say aye. ALL(including B-ko, in the control booth): AYE!!! >when they >suddenly find another large group of movie-goers exiting >the theatre nextdoor... Throwing up, or trying to make it to >the restroom so they can throw up there. ALL(bored): Yaaay. >Tenchi: (Grabbing one person.) Are you alright?! >Person: No I'm not...! >Kiyone: What's wrong? Is it the movie you just saw? PETER(Person): Yeah, a yaoi crossover lemon between `Dragon Ball Z' and `Sonic The Hedgehog'! OTHERS(turning various shades of green): *URP!* PETER!!!! PETER: Priss has her dark jokes, I have my `rejected lemon' list. Live with it. OTHERS: Shut up. >But the >person was unable to speak due to some of his food exiting >the way it came in. All he could manage to do was point at >the names of the movie over the door. Needless to say, the >Tenchi gang was shocked. > >FRIDAY GROSS OUT DOUBLE FEATURE: >"POT" W/ "TENCHI ON A PLATE OF SASHIMI" ALL: . . . . . . . . . . > >AUTHOR'S RAMBLINGS: I like to thank >everybody who's said that my "10-Chi Clan: The Quickies" >lemon fanfic was bad-bad-BAD!! ALL(sarcastically cheerful): You're welcome!! ^_^ >I'm surprised on how >intolerant you people are out there in the web world. PRISS: Don't be. >In fact, >I didn't want to go back and fix this fic. PETER: We're beginning to wish you didn't. >I wanted it to be a >cornerstone of a fic that I should never do. RANMA: Then don't do it!! >But then I read (or tried to read) lemons from all the other >authors out there. >And I must ask: Where is the line drawn between "fuck-a- >minute fuck-a-thons" and "Tentacle demon does everything >that walks while getting high on crack and vomiting all over >the place?" PETER: Well, to answer that truthfully, there has never BEEN any fics where tentacle demons do everything that walks while getting high on crack and vomiting all over the place, to the best of my knowledge. >Tenchi Muyo belongs to AIC/Pioneer. AYEKA: Thank God. >Everything else belongs to their respected creators. And >remember: The 10 o'Clock Assassin isn't really a bad shot. I >just have multiple targets to shoot. There's a difference! ^_^ PETER: Ugh! Even I tell better jokes then that. PRISS: Let's go out, find this guy AND SEND HIM TO AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION!!! OTHERS: RIGHT!!!!! (The MST group runs out of the theater.) RANMA(off screen): Hey Priss, were you just censored? PRISS(also off screen): Shut up. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------ group assessment to fan fiction author. PETER: You took out the sex scenes we were complaining about (and some we really didn't complain about), and made it shorter . . . . That's about it on the plus side. PRISS: Great fic! The best! DON'T MAKE ANOTHER ONE LIKE IT!!!!!! RANMA: You made everyone out of character, you used the exact same plot, with the end cut off (Winces at his own words.), and used jokes even Peter won't use. And that's all I have to say about that. AYEKA(being restrained by the other group members): LET ME AT HIM!!! LET ME AT HIM!!! I WILL KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS!!! HE MUST PAY!!! ARRRRGH!!!! End of documentation. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know this comment won't make sense to some of you, but I have to put it down anyway. "HEY SPENCER, YOU HAPPY NOW!?!?!" Now then, how do I put this . . . . At least he didn't include Mayuka, and at least it wasn't `Tenchi on A Plate Of Sashimi'. I'm reminded of the comment "Every time I think I've hit bottom, someone hands me a bigger shovel.". Of course the comment "You're asking for it" also comes to mind. If I'd of known before hand what my other MST would have brought about . . . Anyhow, this is my first MST since I moved here to college. My work is going to be a little far between, but rest assured I'll still be doing MSTs for many years to come (NO pun intended, this time). Peter Suzuki. EYECATCH: PETER: At least she isn't saying "daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!!"