AnimePort#9 MST. MST#7 The MST of: "10-CHI CLAN "The Quickies"" The updated version, AKA 2.0-no!!! DISCLAIMER: My following apologies to the following people and/or companies for borrowing and/or creating parodies of their characters, and stories; Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ video, AnimEigo, Pioneer LDC, AIC, U.S. MANGA corps, Kosuke Fujishima, Nintendo, Creatures Inc., GAME FREAK Inc., Best Brains Productions, a bunch of anime companies and writers that I do not know personally, My third grade math teacher, and all others who would be insulted by this MST (Original FanFic writer, optional.). ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Somewhere in the vastness of the multiverse, there is a certain focal point of the worlds. A place where our reality and those of our favorite comic books meet, and are able to cross. At this place was constructed a huge station, technically advanced in ways that surpass even the most futuristic of realities. In this place research is conducted on the fictional stories that are created by the ever adoring fans of the comics. FAN-FICTIONS. One man from our reality, a sponsor of the station, has been given the task of leading the research on the stories, by bringing together the most unique group of people from the anime realms. The place is "AnimePort#9". These are the reviews. . . ____________________________________________________________________________ _________ Technical note: MST’d by the following group of people and/or characters. PETER SUZUKI. PRISS ASAGIRI. RANMA SAOTOME. AYEKA JURAI. Documentation made by the following; B-KO DAITOKUJI. Begin recording of research documentation. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ In the Pokemon universe, Peter, Ayeka, Priss, and Ranma were walking down the path between Mt. Moon, and Cerulean City. "This is the LAST time I ever take you guys with me to the Pokemon universe!" said Peter, as he marched ahead of the group. "Honestly, Peter, I have absolutely no idea why you are so angry about what happened." said Ayeka. "Ayeka, it doesn’t matter if that guy groped you or not. It was wrong for you to kick him THERE!" Said Peter. "But, it would have been even more wrong to let him get away with i-" "Ayeka, you kicked him in the groin THIRTY TIMES!!!" Shouted Peter. "Even Happosai wouldn’t deserve that!! The guy was apologizing for grabbing you BEFORE you even noticed!!" Peter then glared at Ranma. "And YOU should know better, Ranma." "Hey, what did I do?" "You mean ASSIDE from getting us banned from ever entering Saffron City again? Just because a pokemon is of the ‘Fighting’ type, doesn’t mean that you can challenge it to a fight!!" "You’re no fun at all." Said Ranma. "Well, I’m happy that we came here." Said Priss, snuggling a Pokeball close to her face. "I got a cute little pokemon of my very own!" Peter held his face in his hands, sounding like he was about to cry. "Priss, for the last time, that is a Rhyhorn. It is not, by ANY standards, cute!!!" "Says you." Said Priss, still cooing to the pokemon she captured in the Safari Zone. Suddenly, the sounds of cell phones ringing could be heard. Peter and the crew pulled out phones from their pockets, and answered them. "Hello, Peter here, what’s up?" said Peter. ANIME PORT. "FINALLY I reached you guys!" exasperated B-ko. "You got an MST to do! A portal should open up next to your location, so get moving!" POKEMON UNIVERSE. "We got an MST too!? AWW DAMN!!!" Peter said, as he and his friends shut off their phones. Suddenly, a blue swirling portal opened up before them, leading into the theater. Also, the signal to start, blared. *HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KIDS!!!!!!!* "OW!!! Ears!! Ouchies!!" said the MST group as they entered the portal. The portal closed up, after they MST group entered. Moments later, a young boy with a red and white baseball, a small yellow mouse pokemon, a young red-hared girl with a yellow shirt and green shorts, and a tall young man with squinting eyes who was clutching his groin, walked by. "Are you sure they came this way, Ash?" asked the girl to the boy. "Yes, I’m sure." Said the boy. He then turned to the young man behind him. "You going to be okay, Brock?" "Yeah." Said the young man, in a very high pitched, and very pained, voice. "I’ll be fine." =========================================================================== (The four MST group members enter the theater. Four seats are at the center of the theater, perfect for viewing the movie screen. The MST group sits from left to right; Ayeka, Ranma, Priss, and Peter.) PETER: Man, first what happened in the pokemon universe, and now THIS. That really chaps my hide. RANMA: Oh, quit complaining already. PRISS(still cuddling the Pokeball): So cute! So cute! I luv my little Rhyhorn! AYEKA: Priss, you are starting to scare us. Please stop it. PETER: Hey, I think the Fic is starting. >Shinji The 10 o'Clock Assassin, PRISS(checking watch): It’s only six fourteen. PETER: Oh no! Not THIS guy!! RANMA: What’s wrong, Peter? PETER: Remember that I told you guys that ANOTHER really bad lemon recently came out? OTHERS: Yes. PETER: He’s the guy who wrote it. OTHERS: Aw, crud! >alias Purge Raizah AYEKA: Please purge this story while you are at it. >Terror-Dack-Chill and >Mobile Otaku Band. As well as Temple Of Teal-Dressed Goddess, Rolento's >Evil Mission, Team Yagami, Izumi Maki Fanclub, and Society To Prevent >Cruelty To Shinji Ikari tyree3@pacbell.net This is a rewrite of this fanfic. PRISS(sarcastic): Wonderful. >Thanks to Shade and Spencer Trace for catching my mistakes. PETER: THEN WHY IS THE FIC STILL HERE!?!?! AYEKA: Is it really that bad? PETER(looking like he is about to cry): Just watch. >WARNING: >This fanfic contains SEX! Viewer's discretion is strongly advised. All the >characters portrayed in this fanfic are 18 years or older. ALL OF THEM!!! RANMA: And I’m a flying panda. >Oh! And the "Lemon Commandment" of Incest has been broken! ALL(sarcastic): Yaaay. >The >characters of Tenchi Muyo belong to AIC and Pioneer. >* * * * * * * * * * * 10-CHI CLAN "The Quickies" * * * * * * * * * * * * PETER: A star studded event, this ain’t. >It's morning. The sun >beats down upon the Masaki household (Group makes beating noises on the seats in front of them.) >as the alarm goes off in Tenchi's >room. He opens his eyes and tries to focus them. Then he rolls over to find >that he's not alone; Ryoko's right next to him, waking and totally naked. RANMA: So what else is new? >Ryoko: Good morning, Tenchi. [SHWING!!] PRISS & RANMA: Wayne’s world! Wayne’s world! It’s party time! It’s excellent! PETER & AYEKA(for different reasons): No it is not. >Tenchi: Oh no, Ryoko! Not in the middle of the morning! >Ryoko: Yes, Tenchi. I want it... right... now... PRISS(Ryoko): I want your balls please. PETER: Literally. >Tenchi curses himself RANMA(Tenchi): May I end up in a bad Lemon Fic! PETER: He already did. AYEKA: Several times. >as he grabs Ryoko and slams his mighty Johnson into >her. PRISS: His What? AYEKA: Why did he slam a T-shirt into Ryoko? (Everyone else face-faults.) I know what it meant! I was doing a joke! >Never mind that, as soon as he's in, she's already lost deep in hyperspace, RANMA(Ryoko as Ryoga Hibiki): Where on Earth am I now!?!?! PETER: In Tenchi’s bedroom!!! >he thought. He just wants to get her off and be done with it... PRISS(Tenchi): Dang nabit! Every day, the same thing. Wake up, find Ryoko naked next to me, rape the dickens out of her . . . >[SPLURRRT!!] RANMA(grizzled old miner): Hoo-we! We hit a gusher!!! >Tenchi grabs some clean clothes and leaves his room. Ryoko's on the bed >feeling as stoned as Mt. Everest without the snow. AYEKA(stoned Ryoko): Woah, man. I gotta case of the munches. RANMA: She should really be more careful about what she puts into her body. >-=**=- ALL BUT PETER: . . . . . . ??? PETER: I don’t know what it is, either. >He goes into the nearest bathroom, but the door's locked. Suddenly the door gets opened from >the inside. It's Aeka, AYEKA(bouncing in her seat): Me next!! Me next!! (The others stare nervously at Ayeka.) Oops! I am sorry. I do not know what came over me. PETER: Tenchi, in about a minute. >the princess of Jurai, wearing only her bathrobe. >Aeka: Oh, my apologies. The other washroom is still in repairs (from me and Ryoko >fighting over you). Your father said it was okay to... PETER(Aeka): Let you boink my brains out to your heart’s content. >[SHWING!!] Too late! RANMA: She’s already gone! >Tenchi pushes her back into the bathroom and flings off her towel. PRISS: I thought she was wearing a robe, not a towel. >He takes >her by the thighs and slurps his tongue at her soft petals. This is not exactly >what Aeka wanted... Change that! This is what Aeka wanted all morning! AYEKA: Well, that, and to have Miss Ryoko locked up for the rest of the week. >Tenchi stuck his mighty Johnson into the princess's most sacred love canal. >Her majesty was already gone. PETER(Tenchi): Dangit! Where’d she run off to?! Ayeka!! Ayeka!!! Where are you!?! >Her "Queen's English" has been reduced to >Latin, to Greek, and finally to just prehistoric grunts. RANMA: I guess Tenchi really IS boinking her brains out. AYEKA(sarcastic): Thank you sooooo much for giving me that mental image, Ranma. RANMA: Anytime. >[SPLURRRT!!] >Sigh... RANMA(Tenchi): That’s two down. . . >Tenchi took his shower. Then he puts on his day clothes, being careful not to >awaken her royal highness from her royal high, and leaves the bathroom. PRISS(Aeka, stoned): The colors man . . . >-=**=- PETER(pilot): Bogy on your six, ace!!! >Tenchi then goes downstairs, and then realizes not to make as much >noise. Just then, a pair of mechanical "grab-bots" appear from out of nowhere >and try to capture him. With squirrel-like speed and agility Tenchi tries his >best to defend himself from said attacks. RANMA: Since when did Tenchi gain the powers of a squirrel? >But they were too powerful for him >to handle. ALL BUT AYEKA(bored): Yaaay. AYEKA: BOOO!!! >And he then gets dragged into Washuu's lab producing heavy >protest. PRISS(Tenchi): I have a right to an attorney, damnit!!! >Shackled to a table within a darkened room, Tenchi soon catches a >view of his kidnapper: Washuu, AYEKA: WASHU IS SPELLED WITH FIFTEEN "U"S DAMNIT!!!!! PETER: Uh, Ayeka. I think that’s supposed to be "One "U" damnit!!!!!" AYEKA: Details, details. >sporting the "Ritsuko Akagi (tm)" look. >Washuu: I'm here to collect your sperm samples again, Tenchi. >[SHWING!!] RANMA(sarcastic): Gee, the way she says it is SUCH a turn on. >Tenchi doesn't have a choice at this matter. PRISS: He never does. >Washuu opens her nyloned legs >wide to give him a view he'll never forget. AYEKA(Tenchi): EWW! Close them! Close them, please!!! >Then she frees his mighty Johnson >from its cage (Peter starts yapping like Dino.) RANMA(Fred Flintstone): Oh! Dino, no!! Stop!! Down boy!!! Down!!! >and proceeds to submerse it into her tight pussy. Tenchi's cock >doubles in size, PRISS: And explodes in a cloud of blood. OTHERS(Peter and Ranma crossing their legs): PRISS!!! >and Washuu uses every known trick in the Universal Kama >Sutra book AYEKA(announcer): On sale now at local book stores everywhere! >to get him off. His fuse goes short very quickly, PRISS: I thought it doubled in size? >and Washuu feels >it as well. She pulls him out, grabs the bucket nearby, and performs fellatio >over it. RANMA(Washu): Over lips, and over gums, look out stomach cause here it comes! AYEKA(large sweatdrop): Ranma, you do realize what you just said, do you not? RANMA(sobbing): I know! I know! Somebody shoot me!!! >[SPLURRRT!! PETER(Apu from "The Simpsons"): Thank you. Please come again. >SPLURRT!!] ALL BUT PETER: . . . . . . . . . . . PETER: How’s THAT for timing? >Washuu: My-my, Tenchi. That's all you can give? RANMA(Tenchi as Serina): I’m outtie!!! >Tenchi: I couldn't help it. Ryoko and Aeka got to me first. AYEKA: First come, first serve. PRISS(to Ayeka): You do realize what you just said, don’t you? AYEKA(thinks about it): . . . . Oh. (Blushes.) >Washuu: Oh, damn my luck! >-=**=- PRISS: Looks like Nobuyuki ran over the cabbit while pulling out, again. >Despite his morning troubles Tenchi manages to >have some breakfast and be on his way to the city. Along the way he almost >passes the Miho-Kiyo residence RANMA: It’s an apartment you dummy. >only to realize that he's suppose to pick up >something from them. PRISS: VD >He knocks on their door... >Kiyone: Who is it?! PETER: Garbage man! AYEKA(Kiyone): This story has too much as it is! >Tenchi: It's me, Tenchi! PRISS(Mihoshi): Tenchi who? >Mihoshi: Alright! It's Tenchi! Come on in! >And he does what >he says, RANMA: Say what? AYEKA: I thought the author said this was the CORRECTED version? PETER: People also say that they can sprout wings and fly. >only to find out that the Miho-Kiyo duo are currently trying out the >latest in summer swimwear! [SHWING ONCE MORE!!] >Mihoshi: Wow! Whatta big Johnson you got there! PETER(Tenchi): The better to boink your brains out, my dear. PRISS: Hey, Peter. Is there going to be a plot somewhere in this Fic? PETER: Probably not. >Kiyone: I guess we should do something about it. PRISS(Kiyone): I’ll get the chainsaw. PETER & RANMA: DON’T DO THAT, PRISS!!!!! >A coin gets tossed. Mihoshi calls for heads. The coin shows tails and >Kiyone ends up giving him head. RANMA: Huh? AYEKA: Duh, it makes no sence, George! Duiiiii . . . PRISS(to Peter): I think she’s loosing it. >Tenchi's trapped within the world of total >pleasure as she gives his mighty Johnson a tongue massage. PETER(answering machine): Tenchi can’t come to the phone right now, since he is currently trapped in the world of total pleasure. Please leave your message at the sound of the ‘splurt’ . . . >[SPLURRRT!!] PETER(answering machine): Thank you. >Kiyone's whole face was covered with his sticky, white cum. >Kiyone: Mmmm... Delicious. ^_^ RANMA(Kiyone): Tastes like chicken. >But I don't think we're done with you just yet. AYEKA: Oh no. You mean there is MORE!?!?! >She then tells him to go over to Mihoshi, who was already getting herself ready for >the ultimate in manhood. PRISS: Unfortunately, she was getting Tenchi. AYEKA(angrily): Priss!! PRISS: Oh come on, Ayeka!! PETER: He already did, and trust us, Ayeka, there would be a LOT of angry guys if it turned out that Tenchi was the ‘ultimate in manhood’. RANMA: Word. AYEKA(grumbling): Well, I still do not have to like it. >In no time he starts thrusting into her like a piston. RANMA: You forgot the lubricant! OTHERS: Booo. Bad joke. >His actions cause the beautiful scatterbrain... to actually start thinking >rationally. ALL: AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! THE FOURTH SIGN OF THE APOCOLYPSE!!!! >Kiyone is puzzled by this, PETER: The first case of boinking someone’s brains "IN". >but her train of thought is cut short as >Tenchi returns the favor and gives her pussy a full tongue massage. After >making her explode like a firecracker PRISS: Sending blood and entrails flying around the room. OTHERS(turning green): *URP!* Priss!! >Tenchi leaves her gushing pussy and >slushes his Johnson between her large, heaving breasts. [SPLURRRT >ANOTHER TIME!!] With the two ravishing ladies tonguing themselves after >a hot post-morning's orgy, PETER: I’d make a joke about ‘Bitches in Heat’, but I want to live to see tomorrow. AYEKA & PRISS: Good thinking, Peter. >Tenchi leaves their apartment with the thing he >neaded: a new tube of Bengay AYEKA: Not one word out of ANY of you. OTHERS: Yes, princess. >and a bottle of "Painkillahz." RANMA: Gesundheit! >-=**=- PRISS(frog): Bud. >"My language is harsh! And coarse like the sands of time! You will be STRUCK! ALL: OUCHIES! >With a tidal wave of words!" PETER: Surfs up! >Tenchi's at Tokyo University's History 5 class >watching a film about the Reformation, where Martin Luther and his >followers take a stand against the spoiling of religion. AYEKA: Well, that is what happens when you leave it out in the open, for too long. >After class Tenchi's >about to leave when he hears a certain voice... PRISS(speaker): Eric Cartman, your ass is on fire! Eric Cartman, your ass is on fire! OTHERS(large sweatdrops on the back of their heads): . . . . . . . . >Sakuya: Afternoon, Ten-chan. AYEKA(grumbling): And NOW we have crossed into "Tenchi In Tokyo". PETER: It’s Tenchi’s first porno movie. ‘Tenchi Boinks Everybody’. OTHERS(to Peter): Shut up. PETER: Okay. >[SHWING!!] RANMA(sarcastic): Yeah, having somebody greet you is SUCH a turn on. >Tenchi: AAACK!! ALL: . . . . PRISS: So it IS a tentacle? RANMA: I guess sometimes bigger ISN’T better . . . >Hi... Sakuya... AYEKA(Tenchi): Ignore the big thing coming out of my pants, that is currently strangling me. PRISS(Tenchi’s mighty Johnson): I, am, tired, of, screwing, every, girl, you, know, UNDERSTAND!?!?! >Sakuya: (Comes over towards him.) Isn't it amazing! The past can be so cool once you take the opportu... >(Notices his painful hard-on.) Tenchi... PETER(Sakuya): Is that a tentacle in your pocket, or are you just happy sashimi? >Let's go... ^_^; >Sakuya takes Tenchi AYEKA(deadpan): THAT would be a first for this story. >to the nearby cheap motel PRISS: That just happened to be there. >where she removes her panties from under her >ravishingly short skirt. She leans on the wall as Tenchi, AYEKA: Runs for his life. >overdriven with lust, >"Johnsonizes" her as well. AYEKA: Well, I tried. >Sakuya screams with pain as well as estacy, since >she's not used to the immence "banging" like Tenchi's alien girlfriends were. RANMA: No pain, no gain. AYEKA: If you can not take the heat, stay out of the kitchen, Sakuya! >But she loves him SO much that she allows him to do anything he wants to >her, knowing that his mighty Johnson can get both of them off. >[SPLURRRT!!] Afther about an hour of this, PETER: Wow, the longest sex scene so far. AYEKA: "Afther"? Someone forgot to use their spell check on this part. >Tenchi and Sakuya left the motel >promising to meet (and screw) again. PRISS: Promises, promises, promises. >-=**=- RANMA: It’s a breeding pool for sea urchins. >Maybe the rest of the day will... >Aw, screw it! AYEKA(sarcastically): Why not. You are screwing everything else, today. >Tenchi thought as a Ryo-Ohki-style spaceship hovers over his >head. RANMA(Tenchi): No, no, NO!!! I’m not going to have sex with that thing! No way!! No how!!! >He tries to run, but he's immediately captured by the ship's tractor beam. >Tenchi's soon shackled (Again?) to a cross in the center of a dark room where >infamous bounty hunter Nagi PETER: And now to the FIRST TV series! >conjures up a way of using him as bait for >Ryoko. PETER(Nagi writing a letter): Ryoko, I have your sex toy. Come to the other side of Venus, or you’ll never see him again. Love, Nagi. >For some reason she has the heat up too high. RANMA(Nagi): Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just ME? >So she decides to >remove her black cloak. She ends up revealing to poor Tenchi her ravashingly >slender body wearing a see-through fabric nightgown. PETER & RANMA(Wayne and Garth): WE’RE NOT WORTHY!!! WE’RE NOT WORTHY!!! WE’RE N- (Peter is malleted by Priss, and Ranma is malleted by Ayeka.)*WACHUD!!!* PRISS & AYEKA(muttering as they sit back down): Perverts. >[SHWING!!] Nagi smirks PRISS(Nagi): I’ve seen bigger. AYEKA(dangerously): Priss. >at the large bulge in his pants, deciding to have a little fun. She strikes >down upon her prey like an eagle and shoves his painfully mighty Johnson >into her. AYEKA(Nagi): It burns!! It burns!! (Realizes what she is doing.) Wait a minute. . . (Priss snickers at Ayeka’s plight, and the two male MST group members get back into their seats.) >She manages to get it all in despite the immence pain caused from >such manhood as his. But it looks like it's Tenchi's turn to be lost in >hyperspace. PETER(Ned Nanite): Detecting crude, anonymous, technology blocking access port, alpha, seta, delta, minor, jettison-jettison!!! >[SPLURRRT...!!] RANMA(Tenchi as Tom Servo, flying into the air): WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! >Nagi has succeeded in making him explode >into her. PETER: Or OUT of her. >She allows herself to have an orgasm in front of him, PRISS: In front of him? You’re still ON him!!! >to hear her >cum as she drenches his mighty Johnson, mixing her liquid with his... PETER: Mix well, shake thoroughly. >Mitsuki: FREEZE!! You are under arrest! Come out with your hands out, >NOW!! AYEKA(frozen Nagi): But ye teled me te freeze. >It's Mitsuki in her Galaxy Police ship. It seems that Nagi has spent >too much time in the "No Spaceship Docking Zone." RANMA: This Fic should be arrested for being parked in the "Plot Required Zone". >Nagi: Damn...! >-=**=- PETER(Spock): There is a hentai ship approaching, captain. AYEKA(Captain Kirk): Fire . . . photon . . . tor-pedoes. >Mitsuki: Are you alright? >Tenchi: I'm not sure. RANMA(Tenchi): I feel very thirsty for some reason. >I've been having sex with >women all day. >Mitsuki: Tell ya what: Take a little rest. Lay on my bed for a >while. Okay? PRISS(sarcastic): Gee, it’s getting so that you never know WHAT is going to happen next in this Fic. >Tenchi: Why, thanks Mitsuki. (She's not really as mean as >Kiyone said she is.) PETER: He must’ve missed that part of the TV series, then. >While Tenchi slept Mitsuki takes the opportunity to try >out those neat street clothing she's got from Mihoshi. Apparently she's making >a bit too much noise. AYEKA: She keeps getting lost in the chest area, and the neck hole is too small. RANMA: Ayeka, that’s mean! AYEKA: Sorry, Ranma. I forgot you like Mihoshi. >Tenchi wakes up to see what the commotion's all about, >just to be greeted by a very sexy-looking Mitsuki, exposing her light-blue >underwear whilst she was putting on her leggings. PRISS(sarcastic): Gee, we never saw THIS coming, did we? >[SHWING*2!!!] PETER: Plus two damage to all magical beings. PRISS: D&D fan, huh? PETER: No, by brother is, though. AYEKA: You have a brother, Peter? PETER: Yeah, three years younger than me. Lets get back to the Fic now. >Mitsuki: Oh no. Guess I was too much stimulation for you there, huh? RANMA: Considering that he gets hard when girls just say hi to him, yeah that was too much stimulation. >Tenchi: Mitsuki... Help me... PRISS(Tenchi): Cut it off, shoot it, JUST STOP IT BEFORE IT SCREWS AGAIN!!!! PETER & RANMA: Priss, that’s enough!!!!! >Mitsuki: Alright, alright. Here you go, kid. >Tenchi viciously stabs his might Johnson AYEKA: ‘Might Johnson’? RANMA: I guess the ‘y’ was too much trouble to put in, now. >into the depths of her sex canal. But after a >while he notices that the expression on her face didn't change. PRISS: Amazing, he actually noticed something? >Tenchi: Uh... Mitsuki. You're... not... PETER(Tenchi): helping. . . me . . . with . . . my . . . Shatner . . . impression . . . >Mitsuki: Oh, me? I do this all the time. This is how I >rise through the police ranks. AYEKA: I am suspecting that the author shall be receiving some nasty letters about that last comment. >And besides, I earn some pocket change that >way. So, screw to your heart's content. RANMA: As if he was going to do anything else. >"Screw" was the word that immediately >set him off. PRISS(Cartman): Oh yeah? WELL SCREW YOU TOO!!! >His manhood continuously plunges into her like a raging demon. AYEKA & PRISS: IT’S POSSESSED!!!!! PETER(priest): Out dark spirits of mindless boinking! Out I say!!! >Her power universal is so good; ALL: Her what? >it's bringing him to the brink of eruption. RANMA: She’s gonna blow!!! PETER: Nah, we already had two scenes of that. AYEKA: And too many scenes of THIS. >Mitsuki, after years of her pussy being plunged into, ALL: It’s going on for THAT long!?!?! >finds herself moaning >louder... PRISS(Mitsuki): Make it stop!! Make it stop!!! >[SPLURRRRTT!!!] >Mitsuki: (How can this be? I've had dicks as big as these before... AYEKA(angrily to the other group members): Don’t even think it!!! OTHERS: Okay, okay . . . >But obviously this guy knows how to fuck a lady. PRISS: No, that’s not it. That’s pretty much the same as a dog humping someone’s leg. >I should do more Jurai-blooded Earthlings from now on!) AYEKA: No, you should not. >Tenchi: Mitsuki... I have to go... >Mitsuki: Go? And why's that? RANMA(Tenchi): Good point. After all of this, I should be dehydrated instead. >Tenchi: My friends are worried about me at home. PRISS: Yes, where would they be without their sex toy? >Mitsuki: Oh. I'm sorry... I just need you to help fill out this Incident >Report, please. >Tenchi: *_*; RANMA: I think he snapped. >It doesn't change, does it? PETER(Tenchi filling out the Incident Report): Lets see . . . Name; Tenchi Masaki . . . Age; over eighteen, according to the author . . . Sex; way too much . . . >-=**=- RANMA: We sacrifice all good taste, and plot upon this alter!! >Tenchi finally >makes it back to the Masaki household, but Mayuka runs him over trying to >greet him at the door. PRISS(Mac Truck): BEEP!!! BEEP!!! >Mayuka: Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! I'm so glad >that daddy's back!! AYEKA(large sweatdrop on the back of her head): The author would not dare. PETER: Oh, yes he would. >Tenchi: Ouch... Mayuka. You weigh a ton! RANMA: Which is strange considering that she’s a baby. >Mayuka: Did you bring me anything, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy?! PRISS(Tenchi): Yeah, a mild sedative. >Tenchi: [That Mayuka is so cute... AAAARGH!! I'M NO PEDOPHILE!!] PETER: That’s what they all say!!! >Uh... No, I didn't. >Sorry. >Mayuka: Awww... Well, that's okay! Daddy can give me something >else! Right, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy?!! ^0^ AYEKA: O_o; RANMA: 0_O PRISS: O_O PETER: ; _ ; >[SHWING!! AAAAAHH!! >NOT WITH HER!!] ALL: PLEEEEEEEASE NOT WITH HER!!!!! >Mayuka: Oh, what a big thing you got between your legs, >daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! [Massages her hand over the bulge in his >pants.] (Ayeka starts doing a very good impersonation of Linda Blair from "The Exorcist".) RANMA(loosing it): RED RUM!!! RED RUM!!! RED RUM!!! PRISS(pulling out barf bag): Over lips, and onto toes, step back everybody, cause here it goes!!! *HUUUUGH!!!* PETER(through megaphone): THIS IS JUST AS BAD AS, IF NOT WORSE THAN, THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS!!!!!!! >Tenchi: [The better to fuck your...] AAAARGH!! No, Mayuka! I >can't... Aw, fuck it! AYEKA(head still spinning): Nooooo!!! Tenchi, how could you!?!?!?! She’s not even a year old!!!! >Tenchi's animalistic urges take over once again. RANMA: He should keep those things on a leash!!! >He frees >his mighty Johnson and pounds the living daylights out of his own blood >relative. PRISS(pausing in between retching): It’s his own baby daughter, damnit!!!! *BLEARGH!!!* >Mayuka howls outworldishly as she feels herself get banged and >filled and violated repeatedly for minutes on end... [SPLURRRTT!!] An >uncontrollable shockwave hits Tenchi PETER: That would be the gods of common decency putting you out of your misery!!! >as he empties his seed into her. And he >keeps on filling her; he's unable to stop his torrent of semen squirting from >out of his manhood. It ends up spilling from out of the lucious daughter's >pussy and onto the floor. AYEKA(Sasami): I am NOT cleaning that up!!! (Fingers up to lips.) BLRRBLLLRRBLLLBRRBLLBLLLBLRRBLLLRRBLLLBRRBLLBLLL!!! >Mayuka: Oooooohhh... That was the greatest, >daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! Let's do this again and again and again and >again, forever and ever and ever, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! PRISS(Mayuka): Can I stop talking like I’m on crack now, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!?! >Tenchi: I'm going to hell for this... I just know I'm going to hell for this... RANMA: Along with us, and the bastard who made this Fic . . . >-=**=- PETER: What’re you lookin at? >After a good dinner, ALL: HOW CAN YOU EAT AFTER DOING THAT!?!?!?!?! >Tenchi decides to hit the bed early. He knew it's going to be one >of those days again tomorrow: AYEKA(eyes still rolling around in her head): Streaks, spots, wipe-wipe-wipe!! >The fighting, the explosions, the swift mood >changes, the havoc, the drama, and ultimately the fucking. PRISS: Of course the fucking. The horrible, HORRIBLE, fucking. Fucking that makes people throw up in the night, fucking . . . >This is terrible. RANMA: You’re telling us?! >He wished he'd never freed the demon, Ryoko, from her prison. PETER: Forget Ryoko. We wish you’d never freed the demon, ‘mighty Johnson’ , from your pants!!! >Just then, a soft >light appears in the middle of the room. PRISS(police helicopter): We know you’re in there, Masaki!!! Come out with your hands up, and away from your piece!!! RANMA(Belldandy): This is the Goddess Relief Agency, telling you that your card has been rejected, several thousand times over . . . AYEKA: Lord Tenchi, how dare you have sex with all of those other girls, AND ONLY WITH ME ONCE!?!?! PETER(DEEP voice, through megaphone): HELLO TENCHI, THIS IS GOD!!!! WHAT THE BLAZING PURGATORY DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING DOWN THERE!?!?!?!?!?!?! >Tenchi gets up to see what it is, >thinking it's probably Ryoko or Washuu trying to get another fuck from him. RANMA: Yet he still goes over to see what it is. >But then, it turns out to be the High Goddess of Jurai Tsunami; wearing the >Juraian ceremonial robe, a weak smile on her face, and nothing else. >Tsunami: Well, Lord Tenchi. It seems that it was a busy day for you. >Tenchi: Well... heh. The only complaint is that it's taking it's toll on me. PRISS: If that’s his ONLY complaint, I’m outta here. >I can't keep >doing this forever, you know. >Tsunami: But you have drunk the water from >the tree of life, Tenchi Masaki. You will be able to last for centuries. PETER(Tsunami): You can keep going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going . . . >There is >no need for you to worry about that. >Tenchi: You've got to excuse me, Miss >Tsunami. PETER(Tenchi): You see, I’m becoming a sex crazed pervert, that can’t control himself to save his life, and I was wondering, should get tips from my dad about this? >All I want right now is sleep, pure unadulterated sleep. >Tsunami: Then let me send you to dreamland, Lord Tenchi. >And with that, PRISS: Tsunami pulls out a mallet from behind her back, and clobbers Tenchi. RANMA: Works for me. >the High Goddess of Jurai flings off her robe to reveal AYEKA(announcer): A brand new car!!! PETER: Ayeka, cut it out!! You’re stealing my shtick!!!!! >... A Juraian summer string bikini >swimsuit! [SSSSHHHWWWWIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!] (Peter does a Tarzan yell.) *AAHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHAAAAAAUUUUUUAAAA!!!!!!!* >Tenchi: .......... Let's eat... RANMA: Sorry, but that scene with Mayuka made me loose my appetite, for the next several days. >Tenchi takes the high priestess by the waist and kisses her in the >mouth. He moves her bikini aside and starts slamming her with his mighty*2 >Johnson. It ends up being more than she can handle, PRISS: Killing her instantly. >but is too lost into the >fusion of pain and pleasure to tell him to stop. Tenchi's animalistic behavior >pounds away at Tsunami's soft turquoise-haired palace PETER: Bad Tenchi’s animalistic behavior! BAD!!! No treat for you!!!! >as she releases a >"tsunami" ALL: Boooooo!! >of primordial juices onto his shaft, balls, and legs. He feels it >coming, ALL: Double, boooooo!! >and he removes himself from her gates as he rolls her over and >prepares to unleash his furry RANMA: His what? AYEKA: I did not even know he had one. They are somewhat new where we are. PETER(to Ayeka): ‘Furry’, not ‘Furby’. >all over her supreme goddess busoms. >[SSSSPPLLLUUURRRRTTTT!!!!!!] PRISS: He’s getting a great echo, in his bedroom. >Tenchi's mighty*2 Johnson fires blast >after blast PRISS: Destroying everything before him. >of jizz all over Tsunami's face, hair, and breasts. RANMA: Eyes, ears, nose, and throat. PETER(singing): Head, and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes . . . >She grabs his >Johnson PETER(Tsunami as Macbeth): Be this a penis I see before me!?!?! AYEKA(screaming hysterically): GAH!!! I am sane!!! I am sane!!! PETER: No one beats me when it comes to being wacky! (Priss and Ranma get large sweatdrops on the back of their heads.) >and slurps the rest of his stickiness from his member. >-=**=- PETER: It’s Luxor!! >He's now in his dreamscape. He's laying back on a tree at the school park, waiting >for his mother. ALL: AAAARGH!!!! NO!!! NO!!! PLEASE, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS DECENT, NOOOO!!!!! >And here she comes, wearing that lovely Japanese school >outfit and her hair in a long ponytail. It's Achika. PRISS: Oh, shut up!! >Tenchi: Oh mom! I'm so glad I can see you again! RANMA: Don’t remind us!! >Achika: (Gives him a hug.) Tenchi, my son. I'm so proud of you. You're growing up to be a healthy boy. AYEKA(Achika): Or a fire plug, considering the way things have been going for you back on Earth. >Tenchi: Mom. My life is so messed up now. ALL: THAT’S an understatement!!! >I'm having sex with all these alien girls. And I can't seem >to stop myself. PETER: Sex would be if there were some actual feeling in what was going on. What YOU are doing can only be classified as ‘boinking’! >Achika: And they can't seem to stop you either? AYEKA: At least from having sex with the other girls as well. >Tenchi: They don't wanna stop me! I mean... What if I were to suddenly end up banging >Sasami? PETER: Well, if you want to get technical, in that scene with Tsunami, YOU DID!!! >Achika: I believe it's been taken care of. The author of this fanfic >may be a pervert, but he's not that sick. ALL: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN MAYUKA WAS BEING RAPED, LADY!?!?!?!?!?! >Tenchi: But I just did Mayuka! RANMA: We know!! And it’ll be giving us nightmares for the rest of our lives!!! >Achika: I believe he was using the Mayuka from our second Tenchi Muyo >movie. PETER: This looks like a job for (Pulls out megaphone.) Mr. Bullhorn!!! (Through megaphone.) SHE WAS TURNED INTO A BABY BY THE END OF THE MOVIE, YOU BOMBASTIC SIMPELTON OF AN AUTHOR!!!!!!! AND SHE WAS EITHER ONE YEAR OLD, OR FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!!!!!!! THAT MEANS THAT YOU HAD AN _UNDERAGED_ SEX SCENE, YOU SICKO!!!!!!! >Tenchi: This is nuts! I'm turning into a sadistic pervert just like my >dad! RANMA: No, his dad may be a pervert, but he’s never sadistic. >Achika: Tenchi dear... Your dad's not a sadistic pervert. RANMA: I just said that. >Tenchi's dad, PRISS: The man, the legend, the pervert . . . the CHEESE!!! >young Nobuyuki, is in his room, butt-nekkid ALL: EWW!!! GROSS!!!! >and totally evaporated from >having way too much sex with Achika. PRISS: Stick a fork in him, he’s done! PETER(Nobuyuki): I couldda been da contenda! >Achika: I AM!! [Flings up her skirt to give her future son a good long look.] RANMA: I REGRET THAT COMMENT I MADE DURING OUR FIRST MST!!!!! I REGRET THAT COMMENT I MADE DURING OUR FIRST MST!!!!! I REGRET THAT COMMENT I MADE DURING OUR FIRST MST!!!!! >[SSSSHHHWWWWIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!] >Tenchi: MOOOOOM!!! PETER(Tenchi): You’re embarrassing me!!! >I....!! Can't.... Oh, forget it! >Tenchi grabs his future mother and leans her back >to the tree. He then frees his mighty*3 Johnson AYEKA(large sweatdrop, and turning an interesting shade of green from the scene that is unfolding): Mighty*3 Johnson? PRISS(Misty from ‘Pokemon’): Your Metapod is evolving! PETER(Ash): That’s not my Metapod. >and slides it into her pussy, >which is wet like the Pacific Ocean and flowing with girlcum like the Nile >River. AYEKA: Oh, dry up!!! >He bangs his own mother continuously and mercilessly, all sence and >logic past the point of no return. Achika's currently holding on for dear life, RANMA(Achika): Nobuyuki!!! Stop this crazy thing!!! >screaming out her son's name as he gets ready to ignite once again. PRISS(NASA controller): Count down for the Apollo eleven, ignition!! >[SSSSPPLLLUUURRRRTTTT!!!!!!] >-=**=- AYEKA: That is pretty much how we all feel, at this point in time. >Tenchi's eyes snap open, >bringing him back into the real world. PRISS: Real compared to what? >That was the world wet dream he had >since the alien girls bunked here. RANMA: Huh? PETER: This entire Fic makes no sense!!!! >But somehow he still feels that great warmth >and wetness along his Johnson. PETER: You should’ve thought of doing that BEFORE you went to bed!! OTHERS: EWW! >Someone's in bed with him. PETER(Tenchi): Aw, man!!! Now I’m ‘sleep boinking’!!! >Tenchi: (I wonder who it is this time. If it's Ryo-Ohki, I'm committing suicide.) AYEKA: If it IS Ryo-Ohki, we shall beat you to it! >He flings off the >covers, and a beautiful girl had his mighty cock all into her mouth and down >her throat. It can be said that it was the best "deep throat" performed by >anyone within this series. Only... This girl is... >Miaka: VANILLA ICE CREAM!! (Everyone face faults. In the distance, a cow can be heard.) *mooooooo!* PRISS: He did the entire main cast . . . RANMA: The supporting characters, the main girls in the movies . . . AYEKA: And characters that only had ONE part in the entire series . . . PETER: And NOW he’s having sex with characters we’ve never even heard about. B-KO, READY THE TARGETING SYSTEMS!!!! WE’RE GOING TO BLAST THIS AUTHOR TO HELL!!!! B-KO(in the control booth, and dressed in army fatigues): Gladly!!! >Tenchi: [Grimacing] Dammit, Miaka! Why the hell do you gotta >come all the way from "Mysterious Play" to suck _my_ dick?!! RANMA: Because it’s no more stupid than anything ELSE in this stupid Fic!!! >Miaka: [With his dick still in her mouth.] Because it's the biggest. Bigger than Tamahome, >Hotohori, Nuriko, Mitsukake, Tasuki, and Chichiri combined. PRISS(Tenchi): I don’t even know who you’re talking about!!! >Tenchi: That's it! I'm turning gay! ALL: AIEEEEEEE!!!! RANMA: NO!!! KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!!! ARRRGH!!!! AYEKA: Why is Ranma acting that way? PETER: Think, Ayeka!!! Would a cross over into Ranma ½ be THAT out of the way for this author!?!?! AYEKA: Oh . . . ARRRGH!!!! >Maybe Nuriko's still available... >THE (very disturbing) AYEKA: Not as much as this story!!! >END * * * * * * * * * * * * >Next Fanfic? ALL:NOOOOOO!!! >Mikado Ichiban VS Asuka PRISS(announcer): Watch it live, on HBO!!! >120% & >Advanced Variable Geo: Phrank's Day (Of Getting) Off someday... RANMA: Peter, this guy makes YOUR jokes look good. PETER: Hey!! PRISS: Finally, the Fic’s over!! ALL: HOORAY!!!! AYEKA: Now, let us just find where that author is, AND KILL HIM!!!!! OTHERS: RIGHT!!! (The MST group scrambles out of the theater.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------- Group assessment to Fan Fiction writer. PETER: What the hell were you thinking!?!?! You went, and you made an already BAD lemon WORSE!!!! PRISS: I hope you notified your next of kin. RANMA: When I made that comment during our first MST, I DIDN’T MEAN IT!!!!! AYEKA: YOU ARE GOING TO FRY FOR THIS, YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!! NO ONE PORTRAYS LORD TENCHI AS A HORMONE DRIVEN SEX FIEND, AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!!!! End of documentation. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------- AUTHOR’S NOTES: When I first found this, I thought to myself "Self, maybe he actually made it better than it was before." He made it worse. Oh, and we here at the Anime Port, have been TRYING to shoot the author, but for some reason the lightning bolts that God keeps trying to fry this guy with, keep getting in the way. I would like to thank, and apologize to, Spencer Trace and Shade, who gave a valiant effort to show this author the error in his ways, and I wish to salute them even though they fell short of their true goal. I hope they understand that I honor them for their attempt, and show it so by trying my hardest to strive for the same goal that they both had. To convince the "10 o’Clock Assassin" to never write something like this ever again. Oh, and before I go, someone the other day said that I should start leaving an "eyecatch" or "A moment of Zen" at the end of these MST’s, like they do in the actual MST3K series, so here it goes. Your moment of Zen. PRISS(Misty from ‘Pokemon’): Your Metapod is evolving! PETER(Ash): That’s not my Metapod. Thank you, and goodnight! Peter Suzuki.