AnimePort#9 MST. MST#6 The MST of: "JUSENKYO MUYO!" DISCLAIMER: My following apologies to the following people and/or companies for borrowing and/or creating parodies of their characters, and stories; Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ video, AnimEigo, Pioneer LDC, AIC, U.S. MANGA corps, Kosuke Fujishima, Nintendo, Creatures Inc., GAME FREAK Inc., Best Brains Productions, a bunch of anime companies and writers that I do not know personally, My third grade math teacher, and all others who would be insulted by this MST (Original FanFic writer, optional.). ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Somewhere in the vastness of the multiverse, there is a certain focal point of the worlds. A place where our reality and those of our favorite comic books meet, and are able to cross. At this place was constructed a huge station, technically advanced in ways that surpass even the most futuristic of realities. In this place research is conducted on the fictional stories that are created by the ever adoring fans of the comics. FAN-FICTIONS. One man from our reality, a sponsor of the station, has been given the task of leading the research on the stories, by bringing together the most unique group of people from the anime realms. The place is "AnimePort#9". These are the reviews. . . ___________________________________________ Technical note: MST’d by the following group of people and/or characters. PETER SUZUKI. PRISS ASAGIRI. RANMA SAOTOME. AYEKA JURAI. Documentation made by the following; B-KO DAITOKUJI. Co-MST’d by KSAWARRIOR AND HIS OWN MST GROUP Special guest appearances by XELLOSS METALLIUM Begin recording of research documentation. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Across the blackness of space, a large space station stood. It was BIG. It looked like a gigantic brass clam, and it appeared to be resting in a gigantic, swirling, blue nexus. Some distance away was a shuttle, which looked like a basic NASA space shuttle, that was heading toward the space station. "We’re approaching a giant brass clam, Ksa." Said a pale, blue hared girl, with dark red eyes. "Good, Rei." Said Ksawarrior, as he checked a clipboard that was sitting next to him. "That’s the space station, called Anime Port. According to these directions, we have to dock, at the docking bay with the number nine." "Ksa, we’re heading right for it!" said Ryoga Hibiki. "That’s good. We won’t have to change direction, then." "What the heaven do you mean, good!?" shouted Scimitar. Ksawarrior looked up, and noticed that Ryoga and Scimitar were both looking very distressed. "What’s wrong?" *CRUMP!!!!* The shuttle ran head on, into the space station, sending Ryoga, Scimitar, and Ksawarrior flying toward the front of the shuttle. Rei calmly checked the status for the shuttle. "There are no hull breaches for either of us, but we did put a large dent in the station." Said Rei. "Status repo-oh never mind." Said Ksawarrior, trying to get back up. "Um. . . Ksa." Ryoga looked up, out the window. "What?" "I think we have company." Scimitar finished, looking up at the two gigantic metal arms that were descending upon the shuttle. (>_<) (o_o) (0_0) (-_0) Meanwhile, in the station. Ranma, Priss, and Ayeka stood in front of the door, that lead to the air lock. Ranma angrily grumbled something about damn lemons, Priss scratched unhappily at the bandage on her forehead, and Ayeka tried to ring out the spilled coffee from her hair. The door opened, and out steeped Ksawarrior, Rei, Scimitar, and Ryoga. Ryoga and Ranma glared at each other, but said nothing. Rei looked at Ranma, and sighed with a faint blush on her cheeks. And Ayeka walked up to Ksa. "I am so glad you are finally here, Ksawarrior." Said Ayeka, ringing out a few more drops of coffee. "You did NOT have to crash into the station, to announce your arrival, though." "Um. . . Sorry about that." said Ksawarrior, trying to find some way to change the subject. "So, where’s Peter, and B-ko?" "B-ko locked herself into the control booth, and said she’d shoot Scimitar on sight, if he tried anything." Said Priss. "Ulp." Said Scimitar. He was hoping to see B-ko. Not be killed by her. He was not into the S&M kind of relationship, anyway. (He’s VERY clueless about how B-ko feels about him.) "Excuse me for asking, but why is Ranma so angry, today?" inquired Rei. "He is still angry for the fact that this is supposed to be a cross over lemon, that pairs him up with Ryoko." Said Ayeka. "I’m going to get even for this some day. I swear it." growled Ranma. "What’s the matter, Ranma? Can’t handle a little Fan Fic?" taunted Ryoga. "Lets see if you’re saying that, during the lemon scenes, you bleeding-nosed pig." Retorted Ranma. "I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF FOR THAT, RANMA!!!" Ryoga shouted. "Go ahead and try it, P-Chan!" Ranma took fighting stance. Rei and Ayeka took a couple of rolled up newspapers, and whacked Ranma and Ryoga over their heads (No, the UPPER heads, you perverts.). "NO!" "What did ya do that for!?!" Shouted Ranma and Ryoga, rubbing the sore spots on the top of their heads. "You two are not supposed to be fighting HERE." Said Ayeka, in a very intimidating voice. "So behave, or we shall make you regret it. UNDERSTAND!?!?!" "Yes’m" said Ranma and Ryoga, at the same time. "By the way," said Rei. "Where is Peter?" "He was the one controlling the arms, so he should be back in a few more minutes." Said Priss. Just then, Peter entered the room. "I’m back!" noticed the guests had arrived. "Oh, you are finally here. My armpits explode with joy!" Rei walked up to Peter. "May our noses putrefy, and fall in your soup." Said Rei. "Charmed, I’m sure." Replied Peter. Everyone else was unsure who to be more worried about. And then, the signal to start blared. *BREAK ON THROUGH, TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!* Ksawarrior’s group got large sweatdrops on the back of their heads. "Is it always like that?" asked Ksa. "Not really." Replied Peter. "It usually just takes some sort of random saying, and blurts it out." Peter headed to the theater door. "Lets get moving, shall we?" Upon reaching the lounge, and the theater door, Scimitar veers off to the left, toward a smaller door labeled ‘Control Booth’. "I’ll just check in here for any good seats." The door suddenly opened, and B-ko’s armor clad arm poked its way out from inside the booth. "AKAGIYAMA MISSILES!!!!" Dozens of small rockets shot toward Scimitar. *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *SHAKA-LAKA!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* The door to the control boot closed, leaving a battered, and burned Scimitar standing in front of it. "*koff!* Maybe I should try the regular door." "Good idea." Said everyone else, as Scimitar stumbled into the theater. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- (The two MST groups enter the theater. The order of seating from left to right is Ayeka, Ranma, Priss, Peter, Rei, Ksawarrior, Ryoga, and Scimitar.) >Konichiwa to all you readers out there. PETER: Arrgh! The Fic is talking to us! Arrgh! KSA: Ohayo. AYEKA: Good day. REI: Greetings. RANMA: Hey. RYOGA: Konichiwa to you as well. PRISS: Hi. SCIMITAR: Yo. >I invite you into my world for awhile as you read this fanfic. REI(Rod Sterling): You are about to enter into another dimension. One of sight and sound. KSA(ditto): Deep in, The Twilight Zone. ALL BUT PETER: (start humming ‘Twilight Zone’ theme.) PETER: What? Did you forget the words? SCIMITAR: Is he always like this? PRISS: Yes. >Whether this is your first lemon, ALL: No it’s not! >or you're a full- >blown ALL: >_< >(pun intended) hentai otaku, (Everyone else, stares at Peter.) PETER: What? >I really hope you'll enjoy this fic. (Everyone takes out their weapons.) PRISS(loading gun): You would hope that, wouldn’t you. >This is my 6th fanfic over all and my first >attempt at a lemon. SCIMITAR: It’s bound to be worse than the usual experienced lemon writer. PETER(offended): Hey! My first lemon was a BIG hit! >This is also my 1st fic on the internet. REI: And your last, if I get my way. >Disclaimer: I'm sure you know that I don't own the >rights to Ranma 1/2 or Tenchi Muyo. ALL: Praise the lord. PETER: And pass the ammunition. (Everyone else stares nervously at him.) What? >If you think I do, then go get your head examined and watch more anime. RANMA: Why don’t YOU get YOUR head examined, first? You are writing a lemon, after all. >Now onto the fic. Oh yeah. The following story is a lemon. AYEKA: Yes. You made that QUITE clear, at the beginning. RYOGA: Didn’t he already say that? KSA: Who said lemon writers are intelligent? PETER(pointing bazooka at Ksa): Who said they are stupid, either? KSA(large sweatdrop on back of head): Point taken. >It contains actually lemon scenes. PRISS(sarcastically): Nooo! I thought it contained gooey nougat. SCIMITAR: Does that mean, he put REAL lemons in this story? KSA: Careful. Who knows what they are used for. REI: Oh god! (Throws up.) *HUUUUUH!!!* AYEKA: Oh, I forgot to inform you that vomit bags are located under the seat in front of you. REI(retching): Thank you, but I have plenty of my own vomit, at the moment. *BLUUGH!!!* >If you're not at least >18, don't read this. RANMA: Just our damn luck. We’re all over eighteen! REI: I’m not. I’m free! (Tries to get up, and leave.) OTHERS(to Rei): SIT BACK DOWN!!! REI(sitting back down): Jerks. >(That means you Dave-ohki. I know you're reading this.) PETER: No cabbits here. Just us. >Like you people will actually listen >to me. ALL: We don’t have any choice. >Ok now for the fic > >JUSENKYO MUYO! >A Ranma1/2 Tenchi Muyo Crossover RANMA, RYOGA, & AYEKA: BOOO!!! >By: Tuxedo Callisto PETER: Those ‘Xena’ extras are everywhere! SCIMITAR: The crossover, you thought you’d never see. KSA: Ranma and Tenchi? AYEKA & RANMA(angrily): SHUT UP, KSA!!!! KSA: Oops! Forgot you two were still here. SCIMITAR(large sweatdrop): Um. . . No, Tuxedo Mask and that Callisto babe from Xena. OTHERS(flatly): No. SCIMITAR(muttering): I’ve got to learn about timing, when making jokes. OTHERS(flatly): Yeah. SCIMITAR: Shut up. > >It was about mid-afternoon in Nerima district of Tokyo. PRISS(Akane): RANMA YOU JERK!!! *mallet sound* RANMA: AIIIIIIEE!!! >Ranma and Akane had just finished another of their all >too common fights. AYEKA: It is the only way for them to greet the day. RYOGA: RANMA!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!! PETER(to Ryoga): Ranma and AKANE, you fool! Not Ranma and YOU!! >Which ended in Akane malleting Ranma over the head. PRISS: Upper or lower? RANMA: Shut up, Priss. PRISS: Make me. KSA: Shouldn’t he have died from that yet? SCIMITAR: He does have a thick skull. RANMA: You shut up too, Scimitar. SCIMITAR: Make me. >Ranma decided to go on a training >trip in which to clear his mind and to get away from Akane for a few days. PETER: Like Genma would let him go on a training trip, without Akane. >So he put together a few things for >survival, RANMA: Canteen, mess kit, tent, pig repellent. . . RYOGA: Hey!! >and headed for a nice quiet place away from the city. RYOGA(narrator): But since this is Ranma, he ended up fighting a giant chicken to save the town. REI: A chicken? RANMA: That was lame, Ryoga. RYOGA: I ran out of things you haven’t fought yet, Ranma. > >------Somewhere in a forest outside of Tokyo-------------------------- ALL BUT RYOGA(Ryoga): WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!?!?!?! RYOGA: Stop picking on me! > >Ryoko was walking along one of the forest paths near the Masaki house. AYEKA(storyteller’s voice): One bright and sunny afternoon, Miss Ryoko was walking through the forest. . . RYOGA: Wait a minute! Tenchi’s house is nowhere near Tokyo! How could she be near the Masaki house, AND near Tokyo!?! RANMA(to Ryoga): Like YOU are the expert at directions? RYOGA(to Ranma): Shut up! >Things were not going well for her >today. PETER: She got put into this Fic. >Tenchi had yelled at her and said some things he wished he hadn't. PETER & AYEKA: Again. SCIMITAR: How does she know he wished he hadn’t said it? KSA: No asking, just nod head and smile. PETER: Ksa, you have absolutely no idea how wrong that sounded, for a lemon MST. KSA(thinking about what he said): Nod head . . . *URP* >Which had truely hurt her inside. That >and the brutal teasing that Ayeka gave her was too much. SCIMITAR: That b**ch princess. (Ayeka’s whip wraps around his waist.) Huh? What in the? (And he is flung into the air.) AIIIEEEE!!!! AYEKA: Anyone else? OTHERS(large sweatdrops): No. AYEKA(sitting back down): Good. (Around this time, Scimitar lands back in his seat.) SCIMITAR(falling): AAAAAAAAARGH!!! *WHUMP!* REI: She’s good with a whip. PETER: Makes ‘Indiana Jones’, look like ‘Jerry Louis’. >Ryoko ran from the house crying. All the while Ayeka >was laughing cruelly at Ryoko's expense. PRISS(disgruntled): It’s Aikan Muyo two, all over again. . . (Realizes something.) Oh man! What if this is supposed to be. . . PETER: Priss, don’t think that. Not even one line of that thought, PLEASE!!! >Ryoko felt very sad and alone. ALL(singing): Oh, I’m so sad and loooonley!. . . >She decided it would be best not to return >to the Masaki house that night. She even thought it might be best if she never came back. SCIMITAR(painfully sitting up): I don’t like where this is going. KSA: Is that your line for lemon scenes? SCIMITAR: Pretty much. RANMA(to Ryoko in the Fic): Don’t do that, Ryoko. Who’s going to fight with Ayeka? PRISS: Who’s going to be the tough one in the group? PETER: Who’s going to set up the ‘detaching of the face’ jokes, when Tenchi wakes up to your face hovering over him? (The others stare nervously at him.) What? > >----------------------Morning----------------------------------------- SCIMITAR(rooster): COCKADOODLEDOOOO!!!!! PETER(announcer): This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast Chicken. > >Ranma woke early as he usually did. RANMA: The only thing that gets me up, early in the morning, is a bucket of cold water. REI: Or Akane yelling at you (Akane impression) "RANMA WAKE UP, OR I’LL HURT YOU REALLY BAD!!!" RANMA: You do a pretty good Akane impression. REI(blushes faintly at the complement): Thank you. >After a small workout , he decided to go to the lake to catch some fish for >breakfast. When Ranma got to the lake he noticed someone skipping stones across the lake. PRISS: Which all struck Ranma, upon reaching the other side. RANMA: Hey!! RYOGA(whining Ranma): Ow! Quit it! Ouch! That hurts! Please stop it! RANMA(angrily): Ryoga! >He took noticed that >she was female and that she looked very unhappy. REI: If you can’t see where this is going, you must have a rock placed in front of the screen. >She turned around and made an energy sword appear in her >hand. "Who's there?" She asked. AYEKA(Ranma as Archer from "Small Soldiers"): Greetings. I am Ranma. Emissary of the Gorganites. >"Show yourself." She demanded. PRISS: You’re facing right at him. He doesn’t need to show himself. >Ranma nearly fell over in shock when he saw >her float up above the ground and then teleport. She teleported right in front of Ranma. PETER: Yes, at the remarkable distance of twenty one feet. KSA: And it wasn’t shocking that she had an energy sword? SCIMITAR: Remember, you said, "Just nod" PRISS: Off to sleep. OTHERS: . . . . . (Everyone starts making snoring noises.) >"There you are." She said >as she pointed the sword at his neck. "Who are you RANMA: I am Batman. >and what are you doing here?" ALL(flatly): Having you hold your sword to his neck. >She asked demandingly. "Hey >now." Ranma said. "Just calm down. I'm Ranma Saotome, and I'm on a martial arts training trip. By the way who >are you?" REI(Ryoko): I am Batgirl. >"I am Ryoko." She told him. AYEKA(Ryoko): Mistress of the dark. RANMA(ditto): The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!! RYOGA(ditto): Queen of all England! PRISS(ditto): Your worst nightmare. PETER(ditto): And ninety nine percent, fat free! (Others stare nervously at him.) What? >"The galaxy's most wanted space pirate." Ranma almost didn't beleive her. RANMA: The "most wanted" space pirate? Maybe the "second most wanted", but "most wanted"? SCIMITAR: When I met her, she didn’t ask me questions, she just tried to kill me. PETER: And just WHAT were your first words to her? SCIMITAR: Um. . . I asked her why she liked a total looser, like Tenchi. PRISS(to Scimitar): You do really stupid things, you know that? SCIMITAR: Oh. Is that why B-ko isn’t responding to my God-given (literally) charm? AYEKA: No. You ALSO have poor choice in women. SCIMITAR(sarcastically): Gee, when I think of ALL those comments have done for my self esteem. . . >But then memories of his own life and the people he's met PETER(Ranma): Make it stop! Make it stop!!! >reminded him that anything is possible. Ranma >decided to take her word for it. He then gracefully did a backflip away from Ryoko's sword, and landed landed >with his normal cocky arrogance. RYOGA: Same old, same old. RANMA: I heard that. >"Not bad." Ryoko commented. She then put down her sword and made it >vanish. AYEKA(Ryoko): Ta-DAH!!! KSA: C’mon, Ryoko’s seen more impressive things then that! PETER: From a normal Earthling? KSA: Ah- PETER: Tenchi doesn’t count. KSA: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . >"Thanks." Ranma replied. "You're pretty good yourself." The tension in the air lifted, PRISS(Ryoko): Oh, NOW I can see you clearly! RYOGA: Umm, all she did was teleport and aim a sword at him. There wasn’t even a fight. KSA: OOC and lemons go hand-in-hand. PETER: Of course, you could have the two participants confess to hidden feelings to each other. OTHERS(large sweatdrops): . . . . . . KSA: All right, Peter. What are you planning? PETER(evil smile): Like _I_ am going to tell? OTHERS(even larger sweatdrops): . . . . . . . >and Ranma and >Ryoko relaxed a bit. They spent the whole day together talking about their different lives and the people they >lived with. KSA: Then they went into business as anime writers and got zillions of bucks. PETER: That’s YEN, Ksa. KSA: Oh. RYOGA(hitting fist in palm): Why didn’t I think of that!? I could be rich from my own sad life! PRISS: Trust us, Ryoga. Nobody want’s to hear about your sad life. RANMA: Man, your life sucks. PRISS(Ryoko): No, YOUR life sucks! RANMA: No, YOUR’S!! PRISS(Ryoko): YOUR’S!! RANMA: YOUR’S!! RYOGA: Will someone please make them shut up! >Ranma and Ryoko's both felt the problems of their lives PETER: And they HOIT!! >far away from them as they were sitting on a >hill looking at the stars. Ryoko was starting to take notice of just how handsome Ranma was. RANMA: Why thank y-HEY!! Wait just a- KSA: We all know where this is going. OTHERS: Uh-huh. >She noticed his nice >feature and was staring at his well-built fisique. RYOGA: Well, I have to agree on one thing. As far as muscels go, Ranma puts Tenchi to shame. AYEKA(to Ryoga): Shut up!!! SCIMITAR: Oh, come on, Ayeka. Have you actually SEEN Tenchi, naked? AYEKA: Lots of times. . . (The others get large sweatdrops on the back of their heads, and Ayeka blushes slightly.) And Tenchi is NOT skinny. He just has a very tightly packed mussel structure. >Ryoko caught herself staring, and turned her head away, PRISS: Snapping her neck, and ending the Fic. The End. B-KO(from the control booth): You wish! >blushing. Ranma for his part was trying to tear his eyes from Ryoko's body. PETER(Ranma): What, kind, of, damn, glue, did, she, coat, her, clothes, with!?!?!?! >But somehow he found that he just >couldn't. Ryoko noticed Ranma's gaze. REI(Ryoko with a Brooklyn accent): You lookin at me? You lookin at me? >"Do you like what you see?" She asked. But she already knew the answer. AYEKA: No. >Ranma looked the other way as he blushed with embarassment. Ryoko turned his head back towards her. She >stared into Ranma's eyes for a long moment. KSA(Ryoko as a hypnotist): You are getting sleepy. . . Very sleepy. . . >Then she drew her face closer to Ranma's and planted a tender kiss >on his lips. The kiss lasted for a few very long moments. SCIMITAR(Ranma): Can’t breath. . . Need, air. . . . >Ryoko broke the kiss, and looked into a very surprised >Ranma's eyes. PETER: But what about the one she was just kissing? . . . . Hey, is Ranma okay? He hasn’t been riffing, lately. (Priss turns and sees that Ranma is currently very stiff, and not looking too good. She pushes him slightly, and he falls to the floor.) *THUD!* PRISS(to Peter): Yeah, he’s fine. >"It's ok if you think I'm attractive." She told him. "It's ok if you want me." REI(singing as one of the ‘Spice Girls’): So. . . Tell me what you want, what you really, really want. . . AYEKA(ditto): I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. . . PRISS(angrily): NO, NO, NO!!! I will NOT do a "Spice Girls" riff, and that is FINAL!!!!! KSA: What’s her problem. PETER: She’s still mad about the "Spice Girls" rating higher on the charts than her. SCIMITAR: Ouch. >Ryoko then kissed >Ranma again more passionately this time. KSA: Let the lemon scene begin!! RANMA(on the floor, and whimpering): Let’s not!!! (Ryoga’s nose starts bleeding.) >Her tongue going past Ranma's lips and into his mouth. Ranma's body >froze up for a few seconds. He then came back to his senses and reciprocated the kiss. SCIMITAR: As if Ranma is quick enough to actually decide on something. RANMA(on the floor): HEY!!! >His tongue joining and >twining with Ryoko's. PRISS(Ryoko as Moe from "The Three Stooges"): Hey! You got your tongue in my mouth!! SCIMITAR(Ranma as Curly): That’s not my tongue, it’s your tongue! PRISS(Ryoko as Moe): All right, you asked for it!! *CHOMP!* Ow!!! >Ranma's body started reacting to the kiss. (Suddenly, out of nowhere, Xelloss Metallium appears.) XEL: And he explodes! Hooray. ^_^ AYEKA, PRISS, RANMA, & PETER: XELLOSS!?!?! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE!?!?! XEL: Brazenly. ^_^ KSA(to Peter): You know this guy? PETER(to Ksawarrior): He was in here about a month ago, using our video equipment to pirate tabloid stories about us, on the air. XEL: And the other sponsors liked it SO much, they hired me to torment you from time to time. OTHERS: WHAT!?!?!?!?! XEL: I said, the other sponsors- PRISS: We heard you the first time, Xelloss! PETER(loading his bazooka): I’m going to kill them. They’ll die for not telling me this. The other sponsors must die. >Specifically, in a certain area below his waist. RANMA: I gotta go to the bathroom. XEL: That would sure ruin the mood. RANMA(glaring at Xelloss): No, I mean I REALLY gotta go to the bathroom! B-KO(from the control booth): You’ll have to hold it in, until the end of the Fic. . . (Notices Xelloss.) Who let HIM, in here!?!?! (Everyone points to Xelloss.) I should of guessed. >Ranma tried to ignore his arousel by concetrating on the kiss. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to do. >Ryoko was feeling quite aroused herself. KSA(British accent): Oh, darn it all! >They broke the kiss long enough to stare into each other's eyes and to >come up for air. KSA(Ranma): Can’t . . . . breath. . . . REI(Ryoko): Need . . . . air . . . ugh! PETER(Ranma): Doing . . . Shatner . . . impression . . . PRISS(Ryoko): Dragging . . . bit . . . too . . . far . . . >Then their lips met and their tongues intertwined once again. SCIMITAR: Round 2! RYOGA(blood dripping from nose): Please God, make it stop. RANMA(weakly): God would want nothing to do with this. >Ranma reached out one of his >hands and began to massage and fondle one of Ryoko's breasts. PETER(looking at his watch): Five, four, three, two. . . RYOGA(angrily): RAAAANMAAAAAA!!! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY AK- (Notices that Ranma is curled up in a fetal position, and whimpering like a sick puppy.) Ah, forget it. I don’t have the heart. >Ranma used his other hand to stroke Ryoko's >outer thigh. PETER(through megaphone): STROKE!! STROKE!! STROKE!! RANMA: Shut up, Peter. PETER(still through megaphone): STROKE!! STROKE!! REI(grabbing the megaphone from Peter): Give me that. PRISS, RANMA, & AYEKA: Thank you, Rei. REI(through megaphone): STROKE!! STROKE!! STROKE!! (Everyone else but Xelloss, face faults.) XEL: Now THAT was sure interesting. >Ryoko moaned low in her throat as they kissed. She reached out her hands and undid his chinese >shirt. Ryoko then ran her hands over Ranma's bare muscular chest, and then down his sides and over Ranma's >stomach. REI(Ryoko): My, you’re pregnant! RANMA: AIIIIEEE!!! RYOGA: And Ranma awoke from his erotic dream of Ryoko quickly. The End. RANMA(to Rei): Don’t even KID about that sort of thing!!!! REI(apologetically): I’m sorry, Ranma. I will find . . . some way to make it up to you. PETER(large sweatdrop): She couldn’t be. . . >Ranma moaned in appreciation. They broke the kiss. Ryoko took Ranma's shirt off completely. She then >started placing kisses along Ranma's neck. SCIMITAR(Ryoko as a vampire): I vant your blood! OTHERS(deadpan): Lame. SCIMITAR: Jeez. PETER(Ryoko with the same accent): I am de vindow viper, I’ve come to vipe the vindows! OTHERS(deadpan): Obscure. PETER(shrugging): Well, I tried. >Ryoko reached down and undid the drawstring on Ranma's pants. She >then pulled them off. PRISS(Ryoko as a 40’s Private Eye): I took them off with a jerk, and the jerk took off. KSA: Bet that ruined the mood. XEL(Akane Tendo): Ranma you jerk!!! RANMA(aiming at Xelloss): MOKUTAKABASHA!!!!!!! (The blast of bluish-gray chi hits the trickster priest head on.) XEL(burned to a crisp): Thank you. ^_^ >Ranma reached forward to help Ryoko out of her dress. KSA: Peter! Bullhorn! PETER(tosses over megaphone): Catch! SCIMITAR, RYOGA, & REI: NO!!! KSA(catches megaphone): Thanks. I think it should be mentioned, (through megaphone) THAT’S A KIMONO, NOT A DRESS!!!!!!! (The entire theater shakes with the force of Ksawarrior’s voice.) KSA(tosses back megaphone): Thanks, Peter. PETER(catches megaphone, and pulls out earplugs): You’re welcome. XEL(cupping ears): WHAT!?! PRISS(to Xelloss): HE SAYS THAT KSA IS WELCOME!! XEL(cupping ears): WHAT!?! AYEKA(to Xelloss): HE SAID THAT KSA IS WELCOME!! XEL(cupping ears): WHAT!?! REI(to Xelloss): HE SAID THAT KSA IS WELCOME!! XEL(cupping ears): WHAT!?! RANMA: We’re taking this bit way too far!! XEL(cupping ears): WHAT!?! RANMA(to Xelloss): I SAID THAT WE’RE TAKING THIS BIT WAY TOO FAR!! XEL(cupping ears): WHAT!?! PETER(whispering): Xelloss looks like a squirrel that got run over by a Sherman Tank. XEL(to Peter): I heard that! KSA(raises hands up into the air): It’s a miracle! >She wasn't wearing anything >underneath. PRISS(Ryoko): Underwear? What’s that? >Ranma gazed in awe at RYoko's naked form. PETER: Judging from that last typing error, I’m guessing that the author was doing something OTHER than typing. SCIMITAR: No matter how many times its been seen, it’s still good. KSA: Not again! (Ryoga has passed out AGAIN from blood loss.) REI(to Peter): Bullhorn, please. PETER(handing the megaphone to Rei): Here. REI(through megaphone, right next to Ryoga’s ear): WAKE UP DUMMY!!!!!!! RYOGA(jumping into the air): AIIIEEEE!!!!! REI(handing the megaphone back to Peter): Thank you. PETER: No problem. (Ryoga lands back in his seat.) RYOGA(to Rei): Why did you wake me up!? REI: So we wouldn’t have to suffer, alone. RYOGA(cupping ears): What!? RANMA(pleading): Pleeeease don’t start THAT bit, again! >Ryoko took notice that the bulge in Ranma's pants, >seemed to have just gotten bigger. ALL EXECPT REI: We didn’t need to hear that!! REI(dreamily): Oh Ranma. AYEKA: Oh for the love of. . . SCIMITAR: Oh please. RANMA: Oh man. KSA: Oh brother. PRISS: Ah hell. RYOGA: Oh god, why me? XEL: God would want nothing to do with this. PETER(to Xelloss): That’s MY line! >Ryoko was now placing kisses on Ranma's neck again. AYEKA: No vampire jokes, thank you very much. XEL & SCIMITAR: Nuts. >She reached down and >started to massage Ranma's cock through his boxer's. Ranma groaned in pleasure. SCIMITAR: You know, I keep thinking, why? KSA: Why what? SCIMITAR: Why do people think of these fics, when they know it would never happen? PETER: Because there are some people who want it to happen anyway, and/or they just can do it so they do. RYOGA: That. . . makes sense, in a twisted sort of way. . . PRISS: He’s like that. XEL(snobbishly): Big fat hairy deal. >Ranma began to fondle Ryoko's >other breast, and used his other hand to massage her pussy. RYOGA: Shouldn’t he be running then? KSA: Eheheh, not THAT kind of pussy. RYOGA: Oh god! (Nosebleed starts again.) RANMA(to Ksa): And you brought him along to a lemon Fic, WHY? KSA(exasperated): I thought it funny, at the time!! >Ryoko and Ranma both moaned at the pleasure they >were receiving. XEL: Paid in full, of course. ^_^ OTHERS: Shut up! XEL: Make me. ^_^ >Ryoko started kissing her way down Ranma, until she reached the band of his boxer shorts. "Now >this just won't do." Ryoko told Ranma. KSA: I wasn’t paying attention. When did he suddenly get nearly nude? OTHERS(shrugging): I don’t know. >So saying, she grabbed the waist band and removed Ranma's last peice of >clothing. Ryoko then began to stroke Ranma's cock with her hand. Then with her tongue. Then with her mouth. RYOGA: WHY US, OH GOD, WHY!?!?! PETER: LEAVE THAT POOR CHICKEN ALONE, RYOKO!!! (Everyone else stares nervously at Peter. Even Xelloss looks like he is slightly frightened.) WHAT-ahem, I mean, what? >Ranma moaned and groaned because of the pleasure he was receiving. SCIMITAR: This has to be Urd’s revenge for the time I put vinegar in her saki. PRISS(Urd): You got vinegar in my saki! KSA(Scimitar): You’ve got saki in my vinegar! RANMA(rubbing the sides of his forehead): And thus, we have a lemon. >He had never felt anything so good in his >life. After awhile of this, the pleasure became too much for Ranma, and he groaned his orgasm and exploaded >into Ryoko's mouth. REI(still in la-la land, for some reason): Oh Ranma. XEL(shouting): OH MY GOD!!! SHE ACCIDENTALLY USED THE EXPLOSIVE CASTRATION POINT ON HIM!!! RANMA: GYAAAAH!!! (Falls to the floor, twitching.) XEL: Or then again, maybe not. ^_^ >Ryoko swallowed it down and let go of Ranma's penis. PRISS: And it flew right across the room, and smacked into a wall. SCIMITAR(coughing): Oh god! RYOGA: Where is the attractiveness in that? REI(dreamily): Ranma. . . AYEKA: Would someone please kindly snap her out of her theater-dream. KSA: Let me try. (Ksawarrior grabs Rei, and starts to shake her.) WAKE UP!!! RYOGA: Here. Let me. (Whispers in Rei’s ear.) REI: AAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!!! SCIMITAR: What did you do? RYOGA: I said, "Oh look, it’s Happosai in a speedo!" PETER: That’s cruel and unusual pun- *PLOOOOT!!!!*(Xelloss’ head explodes, sending streamers and confetti flying around the theater. His headless body falls to the floor with a *THUD!*. Everyone else has large sweatdrops on the back of their heads.) RANMA: Holy. . . . PRISS(Stan Marsh): Dude, that’s pretty @#$%ed up right there. KSA: You can say that again. PRISS(Stan Marsh): Dude, that’s- AYEKA(interrupting Priss): ENOUGH! >She smiled KSA(old geezer): EVIL!!! >at him and licked her lips. >Ryoko came back up and kissed Ranma passionately. SCIMITAR: Shouldn’t he be a bit disturbed by what has been in that mouth? KSA: Do not try to reason. Remember what happened to Xelloss? RANMA: That had NOTHING to do with reasoning, Ksa. >Ranma then proceeded to drop hot kisses down Ryoko's >neck and shoulder. Ranma started kissing downward toward Ryoko's breast. He gently licked and suckled Ryoko's >nipple, while one of his hands gently massaged the other breast. KSA: This is weird. SCIMITAR: How so? KSA: Wouldn’t they have gone into his curse soon? RYOGA & RANMA: Don’t give the writer ideas!! >Ryoko moaned at Ranma's pleasurable >ministrations. Her fingers gently ran through Ranma's hair. After awhile, Ranma switched, KSA, RANMA, REI, RYOGA, & SCIMITAR: NOOOO!!!!!!! KSA: NOT A RANMA-CHAN LESBIAN SCENE!!! SCIMITAR: PLEASE, GOD, NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! RANMA: I WAS SAVING MYSELF FOR AKANE!!!! (Everyone else stares nervously at Ranma, who just realizes what he just said.) Um. . .Uh. . .Oh. . . (Trying to change the subject.) Hey, why aren’t you, Ayeka, and Priss screaming, Peter? PETER: We’ve seen worse than that, Ranma. RANMA: Oh yeah. I forgot about that. SCIMITAR: What could be worse than a lesbian lemon scene between Ranma-chan, and Ryoko? PRISS: Sasami and Ayeka. AYEKA(shuddering): PLEASE refrain from reminding me. REI(pulling Ryoga up from the ground): You’re not getting out of this THAT easily. RYOGA(nose bleeding): S-S-Sasami!?! PETER: I’m still waiting for one where Washu tries for Ryoko. OTHERS(turning green): URP!! PETER!!! *PLOOOOOOOT!!!* (Streamers and confetti fly from behind the seat.) PRISS(large sweatdrop): Sounds like someone’s head HAD regenerated, a few minutes ago. >and used his mouth >on the other breast. KSA: Oh. PETER: And there was much rejoicing! ALL(bored): Yaaay. >Ranma did this for quite some time before trailing kisses downward. RYOGA(VERY angry): DIE RANMA!!! SHISHI HOUKOUDAN!!!! (Blasts at the screen.) PETER(panicking): HIT THE DECK!!!! (Ayeka, Ksa, Peter, Priss, Ranma, Rei, and Scimitar all duck out of the way. The ki blast hits the screen, stretches it back, and slingshots it back at the lost boy.) *VABOOOOOOOM!!!!!* (It hits Ryoga, and the chairs, like a bowling ball hitting a bunch of pins.) B-KO(from the control booth): Since Priss and Peter carry around heavy artillery, we replaced the original screen with a heavier-duty, blast proof one. RANMA: NOW you understand why I don’t shoot my ki toward the screen. RYOGA(getting up from the ground): Ouch. . . . AYEKA: Let us just pick back up our chairs, and watch the rest of this Fic. There can not be that much left to it, since one can only stretch this plot so far. OTHERS(placing chairs back in their spots): Amen to that. >Ryoko nearly went out of >her mind when Ranma started working on her clit. PRISS: Ranma Saotome, the only man alive who can successfully work a woman’ s clit. RANMA: Well I- HEY!!! >Ryoko's moans got louder as she was taken to new heights of >pleasure. Ranma decided to add some fingers into play. SCIMITAR(Ranma as a coach): Get in there, and do it!!! RANMA: Oh, shut up!!! >First one, and then a second. Ranma started pistoning his >fingers in and out of Ryoko's love tunnel, while licking her clit at the same time. RYOGA: Wouldn’t it be annoying to have your fingers keep running against your face while you do that? B-KO(from the control booth): It’s actually easier than you’d think. OTHERS(large sweatdrops): . . . . . . KSA: What’s she talking about. PETER: Long story. PRISS: Lets just say she’s getting along with A-ko, a LOT better now. REI, RYOGA, & KSA: Urk! SCIMITAR(crying streams of tears): WHAAAA!!! I WANTED TO BE B-KO’S FIRST!!! WHAAAA!!! RANMA: Oh, good gravy. Peter, hand him some buckets! PETER(pulls buckets out of jacket pockets, and hands them to Ryoga and Ksawarrior): Here. REI: Excuse me, but why did you have two buckets in your pockets? PETER: Actually, I have nine, counting those two. KSA(placing buckets under streams of Scimitar’s tears): Nine buckets? PRISS: Don’t think about it too hard. We don’t know how he does it, either. >This was all too much for >Ryoko. She scream out her orgasm, PETER(Ryoko): FROINLAVEN!!! >and came all over Ranma's face and mouth. KSA: Clean up, aisle seven! >Ranma lapped up what he could, RYOGA(Kuno): Ranma, you cur!! PRISS(deadpan): Bark, bark. AYEKA(monotone): Woof, woof. RANMA(twitching in his seat): *whine* *whine*. >and then came back up to lay next to Ryoko. REI: I thought they were sitting. KSA: I said, don’t try to reason. SCIMITAR: Okay, I’m in control. I can handle it now. I’ve stopped crying. >They share a tender kiss under the moonlight. PETER(Ryoko): I can’t believe you were keeping this in your pocket all night. *munch* *chomp* >Ryoko rolled Ranma >onto his back, and started stroking his cock again. XEL(rooster): COCKELDOODLEDO!!! PETER(to Xelloss): Katsuhito in a speedo. *BLAAAAT!!!* (Xelloss’ head explodes, again.) AYEKA(throwing up): *HUUUUUUUGH!!!!* PETER: Oops! Sorry, Ayeka. >Ryoko got on top of Ranma, and guided his again rigid >member into herself. SCIMITAR: At last, the normal acts of sex! KSA: How would YOU know what normal is? SCIMITAR: Well, lets just say, Vejita isn’t Trunks’ father. OTHERS: WHAAATTT!?!? PETER: You mean Vejita (Mephesto impression) is a hermaphrodite!!! SCIMITAR: That’s basically the size of it. RANMA: You mean Trunks’ father is. . . OH GOD WHY!?!?! KSA: Vejita fan? PRISS: Trunks fan. >Ranma and Ryoko moaned in pleasure at their joining. Ryoko proceeded to move up and >down on Ranma's cock. They soon found a rhithym; REI: A what? AYEKA: I think that was supposed to be "rhythm". >matching each other thrust for thrust. AYEKA: See, Rei? REI: Oh, now I understand. >They continued this >way for awhile. Then they pick up speed of their thrusts. KSA(British accent): Have at you sir. That this, and that! RYOGA: SHUT UP!!! KSA: . . . SCIMITAR: What’s your problem? RYOGA: Those British guys like their bacon a LOT! SCIMITAR: Oh. KSA: Heheheheheheheheheheheh. RYOGA: Shut up. PRISS(Ryoko with British accent): Tis but a flesh wound! RANMA(British accent): What are you saying? I have stabbed you through, several times! RYOGA(yelling): SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!!!!! PETER(Queen Elizabeth): We are not amused. RYOGA: I SAID SHUT UP!!!!! >Both were close to the edge and couldn't hold on much >longer. All the pleasure became too much for Ryoko who couldn't take any more. AYEKA(mother): Would you like some more? PRISS(Ryoko as a kid): No. AYEKA(mother): No what? PRISS(Ryoko as a kid): No pleasure. REI: She got up and left the Fic. KSA: Wish we could just leave. PETER: The end HAS to come soon! It can’t take forever! >She shuddered and cried out in >pleasure as her orgasm took her. That's all it took for Ranma who groaned out his orgasm and shot his load into >Ryoko's inner depths about a second later PRISS: Killing her instantly. The End. REI: You wish. >. Ryoko collapsed onto Ranma, and fell into a happy, contented sleep. KSA(Ryoko): That was the most boring time ever. RANMA: HEY!!! >Ranma managed the strength to pull himself out of Ryoko SCIMITAR(Ranma): God! She’s like a vice! AYEKA(ditto): Must weigh a ton! RANMA: Oh great. She used a weakness moxibustion. I’m finished. >and wrap his arms around her, before falling asleep as >well. SCIMITAR: Well, the feeling is mutual, after all. >They slept peacefully among the stars that night. Ranma and Ryoko spent the next day together and watch >the sunset before saying goodbye to each other. REI: So all of this was just an excuse to write about a one night stand? KSA: This is a waist, even for a lemon! RANMA: But it’s short! RYOGA: And it can’t be continued! KSA & REI: Good point. >They both knew it could never work out for them. RYOGA: THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO IT!?!? AYEKA: Evidently, so that we would bounce off of the walls. >They were in >love with other people. Ryoko loved Tenchi, AYEKA: BOOO!!! >and even though he didn't want to admit it, Ranma really loved >Akane. RYOGA(looks like the world has shattered): Nooooooo. KSA: Oh great, he’s gone into Akane withdrawal. RANMA: Again!? That’s the third time this week! RYOGA(forlornly): Akaneeeeeee. PRISS: Will somebody please shut him up? SCIMITAR: Rei, you’re going to have to hold him as P-Chan for a bit. REI: AWWWW HELL NO!!!! PETER: Let me try something. (Through megaphone.) OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! MIHOSHI AND KIYONE ARE PARTAKING IN PASSIONATE LESBIAN SEX!!!!!!! RYOGA(shocked back to reality with a nose bleed): GYA!! I’M AWAKE!!! I’M AWAKE!!! XEL(with his regenerated head): Where!?! Where!?!?! PETER: Sasami, with a strap-on. *KA-POW!!!* (Xelloss’ head explodes again.) PETER: That’s fun. OTHERS(turning green): No it’s not!!! >Ranma and Ryoko would never forget that night they spent together. AYEKA: And unfortunately, neither will we. >One day they would tell the others in >their lives about what happened. SCIMITAR: Ryoko, maybe, but I know Ranma wants to live long enough to see graduation. RANMA: Forget that. I’d just want to keep from having to remember this happening ever again! >But, until then, it would be a special secret that they both shared. RYOGA: And hopefully kept to themselves. > >THE END. SCIMITAR: HALELUJAHH!!! KSA: YAY!!! RYOGA: BANZAI!!! REI: YAHOO!!! PETER: GEOCITIES!!! PRISS: PRAISE JOLT COLA!!! RANMA: SURGE!!! AYEKA: MO BETTER BUTTER!!! KSAWARRIOR’S MST GROUP(large sweatdrops): . . . . . . . . . . . ANIME PORT 9 MST GROUP: What? > >Ok I'm finished. I doubt if it was any good. KSA: No, it wasn’t good at all. PRISS: Well, at least there were very few spelling errors. KSA: . . . . Okay, I’ll give you that. >But hey, it was my first lemon. It couldn't be any worse than some of >the other lemons i've read. SCIMITAR: Well, at least it wasn’t a Pretty Sammy Lemon. OTHERS: Thank goodness. >I bet you're also wondering how I came up with this idea. AYEKA(Tuxedo Callisto): Well you see, I had my brains surgically removed, and replaced with rat-poo. REI: Not bad, Ayeka. AYEKA: Thank you. >Well it's the product of no >airconditioning in my house, insomnia, and a 20 oz. bottle of Surge. PRISS(British accent): Curse you Surge, and all the tyranny you cause!!! RYOGA: I SAID NO MORE BRITISH ACCENTS!!!!!! >Also, the other Ranma crossover lemon ideas >seemed so done to death. I hadn't seen any Ranma/Ryoko lemons out there yet, KSA: Although there IS supposed to be one out there, with Washu and Ranma. RANMA(shuddering): EEEEEW!!!!! RYOGA: Woah! Even Mousse would feel sorry about that one! >so I tought PETER(author as Tweety Bird): I taw a puddy tat! SCIMITAR(to Priss): There’s another spelling error! PRISS: So it is. >it might be fun for my >first lemon. RANMA: Well think again, bean brain. >All comments are welcome. KSA: Not the kinds of comments WE have, bucko! >e-mail me at: tuxedocallisto@hotmail.com I'd also like to know where I >can find any Project A-ko lemons. SCIMITAR: Well, if I can just drug B-ko, you’ll have one soon. B-KO(from the control booth): AKAGIYAMA BEAM BLAST!!!!! (A large ray fires at Scimitar, hitting him right on target.) *DING!* (And he is done cooking.) SCIMITAR(burned to a crisp): Then again. . . maybe not. . . >Ok Dave-ohki. PETER(HAL from 2001): Open the pod bay door. >I know you were reading this. AYEKA: As well as THIS too. >You were warned. REI: Some vegetables are green. >So don't >blame me if you didn't like it. KSA: Well, we didn’t like it either. OTHERS: Amen. B-KO(from the control booth): It’s over! You can leave now!! ALL: HOORAY!!! (The two MST groups leave the theater. Moments later, Xelloss’ head finishes regenerating, and he sits up.) XEL: Where did everybody go? =========================================================================== Group assessment to Fan Fiction writer. PETER: Well, I’ve seen worse, I guess. PRISS: You wrote an entire Fan Fic just to pair up two people, and for only ONE time? Why? RANMA: WHY!?! WHY!?! WHY!?! WHY!?! WHY!?! WHY!?! AYEKA: I do not care if their egos are similar, I still do not think that they would make a good couple. KSA: Well, I'm happy that at least you didn't do one with little kids in it. (IE Ranma and Sasami) SCIMITAR:Hey, pal, could you do one of me and B-ko? Argh! (Blasted by B-ko) RYOGA: My nose is bleeding. thats all I gotta say. REI: Ranma. Oh, I mean, this was bad. (sneaking off with tape) end of documentation. AUTHOR’S NOTES: Well, there you have it! An MST done by two MST groups at the SAME TIME. Well, I’ve got to get back to my own Fan Fiction work, and get ready to do another MST eventually. See ya! Peter Suzuki. Well, I gotta say, it was fun doing this. We made new friends, found a common enemy (stares at Xellos) and it would be great if we do another. Ksawarrior. And remember the Anime Port 9’s motto. "Don’t trust your MST’s to just ANY morons!" And also. "Scimitar and B-ko will have a lemon soon" "Um, B-ko I didn't put that. I swear" "DIE!" "AHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHA" Ksa and the group laughed as he is burned to a crisp.