AnimePort#9 MST. MST#5 MST Special #1: Twisted Sasami Theater. DISCLAIMER: My following apologies to the following people and/or companies for borrowing and/or creating parodies of their characters, and stories; Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ video, AnimEigo, Pioneer LDC, AIC, U.S. MANGA corps, Kosuke Fujishima, Nintendo, Creatures Inc., GAME FREAK Inc., Best Brains Productions, My third grade math teacher, and all others who would be insulted by this MST (Original FanFic writer, optional.). ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Somewhere in the vastness of the multiverse, there is a certain focal point of the worlds. A place where our reality and those of our favorite comic books meet, and are able to cross. At this place was constructed a huge station, technically advanced in ways that surpass even the most futuristic of realities. In this place research is conducted on the fictional stories that are created by the ever adoring fans of the comics. FAN-FICTIONS. One man from our reality, a sponsor of the station, has been given the task of leading the research on the stories, by bringing together the most unique group of people from the anime realms. The place is "AnimePort#9". These are the reviews. . . ____________________________________________________________________________ _________ Technical note: MST’d by the following group of people and/or characters. PETER SUZUKI. PRISS ASAGIRI. RANMA SAOTOME. AYEKA JURAI. Documentation made by the following; B-KO DAITOKUJI. Begin recording of research documentation. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ WELCOME. Today is a special day for the MST group. Today is the day of their first MST special. That’s right! Four, count them, four different, yet similarly themed Fan Fiction stories, shown here for YOUR viewing enjoyment. One after another, with only minor comedy breaks between the stories, making this one of the most spectacular event in Anime Port #9’s history! Cue onto the main lounge. "NO, NO, NO!!!!! A THOUSAND TIMES, NO!!!!!" Shouted the four members of the MST group, at their chief engineer, B-ko. "You guys have to!" argued B-ko. "All of the sponsors agreed on this!" "NOT!!" Shouted Peter, the resident Fan Fiction writer, and sometimes weirdo. "This is the first time I ever heard of this!" "Well, if you only attended the meeting, like you were supposed to. . ." "I was in Nevada, looking at the universities, REMEMBER!?!" Peter was in a really bad mood. "How in Hell, could I possibly be in two places, at the same time!?" "And besides." said Priss, attack specialist of the famous/infamous Night Sabers. "You have us doing WEIRD Sasami Fics!" "Not to mention that they are ALL either lime, or lemon stories!" pointed out Ayeka, the first princess of Jurai, and Sasami Jurai’s elder sister. "AND THEY’RE NOT EVEN _MY_ FAN FICS!!!!!" exclaimed Peter. "He’s got a point." Said Ranma, the cursed martial artist. "It’s a stupid point, but a point none the less." "Regardless," said B-ko. "The Fan Fics are loaded up, and ready. And after doing those chapters in the ‘Aikan Muyo’ series, you can stand to do a couple of bad Fics, right?" "No." said the four members of the MST group. "Well. . . Do it anyway. We have to get back the people’s respect after that last MST." Peter growled to himself. "They weren’t even GOOD chapters in the series." Just then, the signal to start, blared. . . It was "Taps" *Dan-da ta-dan, dan-da-dan da-dan-da-dan* "How appropriate." Commented Ayeka. The four MST members unhappily go into the theater. B-ko lets out a depressed sigh, and goes into the control booth. She did not want to do this either. =========================================================================== (The four MST group members enter into the theater. Four seats lay at the center of the theater, placed there for maximum viewing potential. Ayeka takes the far left seat, Ranma takes the seat next to Ayeka, Priss sits next to Ranma, and Peter sits in the seat to the far right.) PRISS: I hope this doesn’t hurt, too much. >Tenchii@hotmail.com AYEKA: TENCHI IS SPELLED WITH ONLY ONE "I", DAMNIT!!! OTHERS: Calm down, Ayeka. >7:38 PM 2/25/99 RANMA: Is this when the Fic is going on, or something? PETER: I don’t know. >Sasami wakes up to another normal day (Group makes exploding noises, and starts yelling incoherently.) AYEKA: Miss Ryoko! Get your filthy hands off of Lord Tenchi, right this minute!! PRISS(Ryoko): Okay then, how about the NEXT minute? RANMA(Tenchi): Hey! Leggo! (More exploding noise.) PRISS(Kiyone): MIHOSHIIIII!!!! PETER(Mihoshi): Whaaaaa!!! >except that her sister >seems to already be awake. She gets dressed and ready to go cook breakfast. RANMA: Spatula, scrub brush, cook book. . . AYEKA: Paint scraper, hammer, chisel. . . PRISS: Bulletproof vest, taser, flame-thrower. . . PETER(Sasami): And now, to get ready to cook breakfast! >As soon as she walks out of >her bedroom door a feeling of foreboding comes over her. ALL(singing): I have got this feeling, deep inside of me!. . . >These Characters belong to Pioneer A.I.C., not >me. ALL(large sweatdrops): . . . . . PETER: Oh, I see! That was just the prologue. OTHERS: Oh. . . . >This story came to my mind and demanded attention so be ready for anything in this O.V.A. based >story. RANMA(robot from "Lost In Space"): Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! PETER: That’s supposed to be O. A. V. >LIME PETER: Oh, so is this a crossover with "Saber Marionette J"? OTHERS: Huh? What? PETER: Never mind. >Nightmare PRISS: On Elm Street. >by JL Special Guest writer! PETER("Saturday Night Live" announcer): Martin Short! >Brian Burke! ALL: Close enough! >Can anyone guess which parts I wrote? ALL: The bad ones? >(Hint: It’s the shorter, better fitting paragraphs!) AYEKA: Oh, our mistake then. You wrote the GOOD parts. >Sasami walks down the stairs towards the kitchen to >start cooking breakfast when she hears something in the living room, she turns and can see her sister >and Noboyuki sitting very close to each other on the coach. RANMA: I don’t like where this is going. AYEKA: So you shall give me the key to Tenchi’s bedroom, in return for not revealing that you set up your camera in the women’s bath, right? PETER(Nobuyuki): Deal! >They are both smiling at each other with rosy >cheeks and cups of saki in their hands. PRISS & RANMA(Ayeka and Nobuyuki, drunk and singing.): Oh, I’ve got friends in LOW places. . . AYEKA(to Priss and Ranma): That will be enough of that! >They sip from their cups and Noboyuki whispers something in >Ayeka's ear. PETER(Nobuyuki): Sasami’s watching us! Quick, hide the saki! >Ayeka turns bright red but nods enthusiastically. ALL(shocked). . . . . . . . AYEKA: Oh. . . RANMA: My. . . PRISS: God. . . PETER: Ess. . . >Sasami stares in shock as her sister and >Noboyuki get busy, AYEKA(to the others): Pardon me, for just a moment. (Ayeka walks off screen, and throws up.) *BLEAAAAARGHHH!!!!* >she turns and runs up the stairs to Tenchi's room and knocks on the door. PRISS(Sasami): Tenchi! Quick! Ayeka’s gone insane! AYEKA(wiping her mouth, and sitting back in her seat): Or at least the one in this story, has. >No one >answers so she opens the door, her jaw drops open as the scene before her registers RANMA: Eight point two!! >. She doesn't see >Tenchi in his room, but the sight makes her sick instantly. AYEKA: I can not bear to watch! (Covers her eyes.) PETER(Sasami): I-I can’t watch. . . Yet I also can’t look away! Oh why can’t I look away!?!?! >She turns and runs back downstairs trying >very hard to wash the sight of her father and Ryoko out of her mind. ALL(screaming in horror): AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! (Ayeka runs off screen, and throws up again. Ranma jumps into the air, and hides behind his chair. Priss is turning green, and Peter is hitting his head against the chair in front of him.) AYEKA(throwing up): *HUUUUUUUUUGH!!!* RANMA: T-t-tell me when it’s safe to come out. PRISS(face green): *URP!* Not yet. PETER(banging his head against the chair in front of him): Make it stop! Make it stop! >She runs past the sight of her sister >and Noboyuki, now fully into their fun, and out the door. AYEKA(Sasami): They have gone insane! INSANE I TELL YOU!!!! >She leans against the door trying hard to sort >out what was happening PETER: Keep going! You’re not far enough away from the horrible . . . horrible. . . (Peter can not even speak of the horror) >when she sees the path leading up to the shrine. "My brother will know what to >do" RANMA: Tenchi would know what to do about this?! PETER: OTHER brother. The natural one! AYEKA(to Ranma): He means Yosho. RANMA: Oh. >she thinks as she starts walking up the path. Half way up the path she runs into Mihoshi (Priss makes car crashing noise.) PETER(reporter): It’s horrible folks! It’s the most terrible thing I have ever seen! And the girls running into each other, and crashing was not too good, either! >who is >jumping up and down with rosy cheeks. RANMA: Oh great. ANOTHER bad lemon scene! >She keeps repeating, "Oh Kiyone he's too old for you Kiyone." ALL(once again shocked): . . . . . . . Oh, sweet lord in heaven, no. . . . >Sasami tries to talk to the G.P., but only gets an embarrassed laugh from her. PRISS(Mihoshi): Oops! Sorry about that. I was just practicing for a really terrible lemon scene, that’s going on later in this Fic. AYEKA(Sasami): It can not possibly be as bad as what I just saw, a moment ago. >Sasami passes Mihoshi >with a sinking feeling in her gut as she continues up the path. PETER: Somebody get the ‘Pepto’! She’s either going to throw up, or have diarrhea! RANMA: Both would be better than this Fic, as far as I’m concerned. >When she reaches the top she can see >Kiyone in her birthday suit motioning to someone with that come hither smile Ryoko uses so often. PRISS(Old Geezer): That girl is evil I tell you! EVIL!!! >Sasami looks towards the way Kiyone is motioning and can see someone dressed like her brother, except >his hair is snow white and he is using a walker. (Ayeka facefaults, and remains on the ground. The other MST group members are jealous of Ayeka.) PRISS(Kiyone): Come on! Is that all you got?! RANMA(Yosho): Can’t. . . feel. . . .my. . . .legs. . . PETER: The worst part is, he’s not even using his disguise field, anymore. >She looks closer and now can see that it is indeed her >brother, her jaw drops again as confusion sets in. AYEKA(getting up from the floor): What did I miss? RANMA: Kiyone making your brother look even older, and Sasami’s jaw dropping to the ground. AYEKA: Oh. >When she focuses again on the scene Yosho has finally >caught Kiyone. PETER: You know, I think doctors have a vaccine for that, now. >Sasami turns away with a more disgusted feeling then any of the previous happenings. PRISS: Well, I don’t know about that. The second scene was. . .(As the mental image passes through her mind Priss suddenly turns green, and throws up.) *BLUUUUURRRP!!!* OTHERS: EEW! >As she digests the new development she walks into a serious looking Mihoshi RANMA: Well, that’s that! AYEKA: The end of the world is upon us! We are all doomed! PRISS: YEE-HAW! It’s the end of the world, kiddies! PETER: Better take a picture, it’ll last longer! >who asks for her to keep >this little secret. PETER(Mihoshi): I wet’em. >"Sasami you can't tell anybody, OK, or Kiyone will be angry at me." Sasami nods at >Mihoshi who instantly loses her serious look and starts hopping around again. ALL: Whew!! RANMA: Well, at least she’s back to normal. >"This is so strange" she >thinks PRISS(sarcastically): Oh, you just NOW realized that? >as she walks down the path towards the house. She leans against the door and asks herself who is >left, who haven't I seen today. Two people come to mind, Tenchi, and Washu. PETER: Well, actually there ARE more people than that, but she’s right about them not showing up yet. >Where will I find them?, PETER: In Washu’s lab. >in Washu's lab, PETER: I’m a psychic! OTHERS: You’re a loony!! >she thinks to herself. She walks back into the house surprised to hear that forty-five >minutes later RANMA: It’s been THAT long? AYEKA: My, how time flies when you are throwing up. >her sister and companion are still going strong. Averting her eyes, (The MST group averts their eyes, as well.) >Sasami makes her way >to the closet under the stairs. She opens the door and enters the lab. She finds herself in the multi >aquarium area of the lab. PRISS: Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. >She can hear Washu giggling somewhere between the aquariums. PETER(Washu giggling): *giggle* Fishes are funny! PRISS: She WOULD find that funny. PETER(Washu still giggling): *giggle* Yup! I’m insane!!! *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* AYEKA(large sweatdrop on the back of her head): You certainly are, Peter. >"Your >starting to get personal" Washu says. RANMA: Shouldn’t that be "You’re", not "Your"? >Sasami starts walking towards the voice as more giggling erupts. PETER(Washu giggling): *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* (Twelve gallons of ICE water is dumped on peter.) *BLOOOOSH!!!* OTHERS: Thanks, B-ko. B-KO(from the control booth): No problem. >She then hears a certain male's voice. "But Washu dear, you want me to get personal don't you?" AYEKA(shield units appearing): ARRRRRRGAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! OTHERS: Oh, poo! (Electricity erupts from the shield units, and shocks three of the four MST group members. Peter is effected the most, because he is soaked in water.) *ZAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!* (The shocking comes to an end, only because Ayeka faints from exhaustion.) OTHERS(burned to a crisp): Owe. . . . . >Sasami >screams in her head "N O O O Tenchi, please no." AYEKA(getting up from the ground): That is pretty much, what I just said. >Running from the lab, "I must be going nuts..." RANMA: No. Everybody ELSE is going nuts!! You and Mihoshi, are the only two SANE people left! PETER: And because Mihoshi is Mihoshi, you are now charged with saving the universe!! Please do not fail us!!! >Trying to get her mind off the horrible sights, she finally finds her way to her favorite room: PRISS: The kitchen. >the kitchen. PRISS: Can I call em, or what? OTHERS: What. >However, ALL: Uh-oh! >what she sees is anything but what she wanted. ALL(weeping): Waaah! *sob* *sniffle* Why, God? Why!?! >On the floor of the kitchen, is her adult >counterpart, Tsunami, going the distance with Seiryo, (One scene of collective vomiting, coming right up. Literally!) *BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!* B-KO(from the control booth): Hey! Cut that out you guys! There’s not enough money in the budget to clean all of the- (She sees the scene the MST group is watching, and turns green.) *URP!!* >the fop that once tried to marry Ayeka. RANMA(choking on his own bile): My god! He looks like Kuno, with pink hair!!! AYEKA & PETER: He IS Kuno, with pink hair!!!! >Not saying >a word, AYEKA: Indeed she can not, with all of her stomach bile running out of her mouth. >Sasami takes off out the back door. "I gotta get out of here." PETER: So do we, BYE!! (The MST group makes a mad dash to get out of the theater.) B-KO(from the control booth): SIT BACK DOWN!!! MST GROUP: Aww. . . . Nuts. (The MST group sits back down in their seats.) >She runs up the mountain path to >the tree, Funaho. Stopping just short of the surrounding water, "by the royal seal and my true name, PRISS(Sasami): Butterbean. AYEKA(ditto): Misaki Jr. RANMA(ditto): Princess Angelina, Francheska, Banana-Fanana, Fo-Feska, the third! PETER(ditto): Vermiloinion, Voimon, Galakagoutski-Wowski, Melvin Froinlaven, the second!! (Others stare nervously at Peter.) What? >open >the path to our ancestors in space, please. Heaven to ocean, ocean to Earth, Earth back to Heaven. RANMA(singing): From coast to coast, to make you smile. . . >Show >me the path engraved by the light." With that said, she disappears into it. AYEKA(Sasami): EEK!! Oh, darn it all! It was supposed to open the door! >Almost instantly later, she >reappears aboard her ship, Tsunami. PETER(to Ayeka): It’s so nice of your mother to let Sasami use the head battleship of the Jurai fleet, as her own personal ship. AYEKA: My mother WOULD actually do something like that. . . Scary, is it not? OTHERS: Terrifying. RANMA: Say, wasn’t Tsunami back down on Earth, doing that Kuno look alike? AYEKA(Tsunami): I am Tsunami, and you are inside of my body. PETER: Well, Sasami better get out of the way, before Seiryo comes. (Peter is suddenly pelted by mini Jurai Guardians, little stuffed "P-Chans", and "Night Saber" action figures.) OW-OW! Quit it! Cut that out! OW!! >Sitting against the main tree, "this can't be true..." PRISS(Sasami): I can’t be stuck in a weird Fan Fic, called "Nightmare". PETER: Well, at least it’s appropriately named. >she says, >nervously. "Oh, well. I'm safe up here." That's when she hears some odd noises from behind her. >Fearfully, she turns her head to look behind the tree against her back. PETER(Sasami): ARRGH!!! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!! >Looking into the distance, she sees >two vaguely familiar figures, doing an all too familiar act. RANMA(sarcastic Sasami): Oh great. I dragged THEM up here, too. >The girl has long blonde hair, while the man >has short black hair. PRISS: Well, it’s nice to know that Tenchi got over Washu, and went to Mihoshi. AYEKA: That is NOT Tenchi and Mihoshi. RANMA: Well, it’s not Tenchi and WASHU either. AYEKA: Good point, Ranma. (Thinks about it for a moment.) BUT IT IS STILL NOT ME!!! >In truth, they look like complete opposites, for in fact they are. "Do you think >anybody will find us, Mico?" the man asks. "Don't worry," Rica answers. "Nobody knows we're here." >Sasami whirls her head away from the scene and looks away, defeatedly. PETER(Sasami): Dangit! The mice around here are getting bigger all the time! RANMA: Was that scene confusing to everyone else? OTHERS: Yes. RANMA: Just checking. >"Everyone I know, and some I >don't, are doing naughty things." Smiling, "except me, of course." (Several angels appear at the top of the theater.) *HAAAAL-LE-LU-JAHH!!!* >"I could change that," a voice sounds, (Several angels appear at the top of the theater.) *GYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!* PETER: And here I thought they were mechanical. >surprisingly. Looking up, she sees yet another vaguely familiar form. "You wouldn't dare!" The older >man with a short black beard simply smiles, RANMA: Look guys! It’s Bluto!! ALL(bored): Yaaay. >"wouldn’t I?" Claric asks. As thoughts run through her head PRISS: Trying to get out of this Fic. >that she really wish wouldn't, she faints. AYEKA: Hopefully not near by that guy named "Claric". >Sasami wakes up in her futon in a mire of sweat. She looks >around the room for her sister, but doesn't see her anywhere. PETER: Oh no! Here we go again! ALL: ARRRGH!!! >She gets a feeling of panic in her gut when >this fact registers in her mind. PRISS(Sasami): I REALLY have got to stop eating hot-pepper pizza, as a midnight snack! >She jumps out of bed and runs to Tenchi's room where upon reaching it >knocks on the door. (Please be in there) she thinks. AYEKA(Sasami): And not in Washu’s lab! >"Who is it?" comes Tenchi's groggy voice. (The MST group starts cheering, and applauding.) >"Thank >goodness, Tenchi I really need to talk to you." "Sasami? What's the matter?" Tenchi asks as he opens his >door. Ryoko hearing the commotion phases right next to Sasami and looks at her with concern. "What is >the matter Sasami?" "Tenchi, Ryoko, I had a really bad dream." "What was it about?" They both ask. PETER(Sasami): We were put into this Fan Fic, called "Nightmare", and we were forced to do really sick and perverted stuff, and we caused an MST group to vomit several times, and. . . >"Um, Ryoko you were...." Ryoko moves closer and Sasami whispers in her ear. Ryoko's face turns green >and she runs to Tenchi's bedroom window. As soon as she opens the window she starts vomiting out of >it. RANMA(singing): The window! The window! The second story window! With a heave and a ho, and away we go!. . . PETER(looking at the stream of vomit): Hey! I think that’s a pair of my socks! And by old sweatshirt! How the heck did that get there? >"What is going on here?" Ayeka asks as she walks up to Sasami and Tenchi. PRISS(Tenchi): Well, Sasami had a bad dream, and Ryoko is barfing up Peter Suzuki’s clothing, and. . . >"Oh, Ayeka, where have >you been?" Sasami asks. "UM, I was uh, freshening up Sasami, why what's the matter?" Ayeka bends >down to her sister as she whispers in her ear about her part in the dream. ALL: Uh-oh. >Ayeka soon joins Ryoko at the >window. RANMA(singing): The window! The window! The second story window! With a- AYEKA(to Ranma): That joke is getting old. >Sasami next whispers to Tenchi his part of her dream, his face pales but he keeps his >composure. PRISS: One part wimp, and two parts scrawny. AYEKA: HEY!! >"Hey everyone, what is going on up here?" Mihoshi asks as she walks up to Tenchi and >Sasami. "Well, you see, poor Sasami here had a nightmare, but she is ok now." Tenchi answers. PETER(Tenchi): Ayeka and Ryoko, on the other hand. . . >"Oh >Sasami, I am so happy that you are ok, but I do have one question..... Who used the bathroom last, P-U." >Mihoshi emphasizes her point by waving her hand in front of her nose. At the window Ryoko quickly >puts her hand over her mouth and phases through the ceiling where laughter is soon heard in the >distance. AYEKA: Clear the area, she has gone crazy!! >Ayeka's face goes bright red as Tenchi and Sasami walk out of the room and close the door. >Inside the room a confused Mihoshi stares at a suddenly angry Ayeka, "What is the matter Ayeka.. Ouch >stop it, Owe, ouch. Outside the room PRISS: Hey, you forgot the quotation marks. >Tenchi and Sasami finally stop giggling, AYEKA, PRISS, & RANMA: Don’t even think it, Peter. >truly hoping that Ayeka >didn't beat Mihoshi to badly. PETER: Because where Ayeka is concerned, that would be another lemon scene. AYEKA: PETER!!! >Tenchi gets a serious look in his eyes as he regards Sasami. "That was just >a nightmare, wasn't it Sasami?" Ryoko phases into the hall next to Tenchi. RANMA(Ryoko): Okay, I’m done laughing my head off now. What’s up? >"Um, I think it was only a >dream." (Please oh please let it just be a dream.) Sasami hears a voice in the back of her head, AYEKA: We ALL agree with this voice. ALL: Amen. >Tsunami >begs. As Sasami hears this, she can only imagine that Tsunami is as white as her cloak. PETER: Actually, Tsunami’s cloak is multicolored. . . But then again, her face being multicolored as well, wouldn’t surprise me one bit. >End Nightmare? >Tsunami: I HOPE SO!!!! ALL: AND SO DO WE!!!! >Pretty weird, but like I said at the beginning this idea just wouldn't leave me >alone. RANMA: We wish it would leave US alone. >What do you think, was it just a dream, or was it sent by Tsunami? AYEKA: HA! Hell no!!! >Tsunami: I don’t think so! PRISS(Tsunami as Homie D. Clown): Nami don’t play that! >Ideas are welcome, JL. PETER: Oh, we got some ideas, but you don’t want to hear any of them! B-KO(from the control booth): Okay, break time! ALL: Yay!!! (The MST group rushes out of the theater. Moments later several cleaning robots arrive, to clean up all of the vomit.) =========================================================================== AND NOW IT’S TIME FOR ANIME UPDATE, WITH YOUR HOST, XELLOSS METALLIUM. "Thank you, thank you! Oh, you’re all too kind. Really. Okay, here’s this week’s anime news." A picture of Peter, appears behind Xelloss. "Today, a wind-breaking new experiment was conducted today, by Peter Suzuki ’s butt." The picture changes to that of Peter’s behind. "Peter’s butt, has developed a revolutionary new way to reduce a box of ‘Twinkies’ into a more compact, and manageable size." Picture changes to show a smashed box of ‘Twinkies’. "Peter’s behind declined an interview, but we believe that this to shall pass." Picture changes back and shows Peter’s face, once again. "Speaking of Peter, the now infamous Fan Fiction writer has seemed to have gained some fans. Numerous Peter Suzuki look-alikes have been spotted all over the Fan Fiction community. Why all of these Peters are popping up is unknown, but. . ." The picture changes to a group photo of Ayeka, Priss, B-ko, and female Ranma. "We can always guess, can’t we?" ^_^ The photo changes to a picture of Ayeka. "Also today, her royal-pain-in-the-highness, Ayeka Jurai, was questioned about her supposed love affair with her long time rival, Ryoko Habuki. Miss Ayeka commented quote ‘Why does everyone think that I would be interested in Miss Ryoko. She is not nearly as cute as Miss Washu’." A heart shaped picture appears, with Ayeka’s photo on one side, and Washu’s on the other. "Don’t they make such a cute couple?" ^_^ Picture changes to a photo of Priss. "In other news, Priscilla Asagiri was recently brought up on charges of possessing illegal drugs. FBI, and other officials claim that Miss Asagiri was reportedly seen with three large bags of dope." Two photos appear. One is of the remaining three Night Sabers, the other is of Peter, Ayeka, and Ranma. "Exactly which three dopes they are talking about, is still under investigation." Picture is now side by side photographs of Ranma and B-ko. "Also in the news, is the rumored ‘off screen’ love affair between Ranma and B-ko, which-" "There he is!" Peter’s voice can be heard from off to the right. "KILL HIM!!!" Ranma can also be heard from off to the right. Xelloss gets a large sweatdrop on the back of his head. "Wellthat’ sallfornow,I’mXellossMetallium,that’smystory,andI’mstickingtoit,bye!" Xelloss runs away, to the left. Seconds later Peter, B-ko, Ranma, Ayeka, and Priss run by the camera, holding various instruments of excruciating pain, and chasing after the trickster priest. =========================================================================== (The MST group re-enters the theater, and sits in their usual spots.) PETER(holding up a large, pink bottle): Three cheers for ‘Pepto-Bismol’! Hip-hip! OTHERS: Huzzah! PETER: Hip-hip! OTHERS: Sit down! PETER: Hip-hip! OTHERS: Shut up! PETER(sitting down): You guys are no fun at all. RANMA: So, what’s this next one about? PRISS: How should I know. AYEKA: Like _I_ was ever informed of this? PETER: We’re never told what these Fics are about, remember? RANMA: Oh, sorry. I forgot. PRISS: Besides, how can this Fic possibly be worse than the last one? >Evil Susami ALL:. . . . . (Peter starts chugging down the bottle of pink stomach medicine.) PRISS(face in her hands): Me and my BIG mouth. RANMA: There is no "U" in "Sasami"! AYEKA(sarcastically): Thank you SO much Peter, for having me join you on this little adventure. PETER(still drinking ‘Pepto’, and now holding a sign): [Hey! I have to put up with this too, you know!] PRISS: Yeah, yeah. Big deal. And don’t hog the medicine! Save some for us! >by: Mecha Dude PETER(passing the ‘Pink-stuff’ to Priss): More like "Mecha DUD"! >WARNING: Caffeine/late night induced! PRISS(takes a swig of the medicine, and passes it to Ranma): So this is basically along the lines of what WE do? RANMA(takes a large gulp of ‘Pepto-Bismol’, and passes the bottle to Ayeka): Should we be scared about this? AYEKA(drinks the rest of the ‘Pepto-Bismol’): Very. >The dimensional door into >Washu's lab opens and Susami PRISS: That’s "Sasami"! >walks in and closed it. Normally the door crab would have alerted Washu PETER: Washu has crabs. AYEKA(snickering): I would certainly not be surprised, if that were true. >to anyone who entered (minus Mihoshi), tonight was different. RANMA: Tonight they were alerting to Mihoshi, but to no body else! PRISS(Washu): Okay, so there’s a few bugs I gotta work out. Hey, even super geniuses make mistakes once in awhile! >The diminutive scientist was past out on PETER: Old ‘Snapple’. >the floor by her floating pillow. AYEKA: Miss Washu HAS a bed, but for some reason, she never uses it. >Susami PETER: That’s "Sasami"! >walks up to the pillow, sits on it, and reaches forward causing PRISS: A chain reaction, that destroys the entire universe. The End. RANMA: Well, great Fic. Let’s go! B-KO(from the control booth): Oh no you don’t! Sit right back down, you guys! PRISS & AYEKA: What about us? B-KO: I was talking to you, too. PETER: Why are you being so mean to us, today? B-KO: I don’t wanna be, but the other sponsors aren’t giving me much of a choice. RANMA: They threaten to hire A-ko, to work with you? B-KO: Worse. You ever hear of a guy called Xelloss Metallium? MST GROUP: The guy we beat up last week, for telling lies about us, on camera? B-KO: Yes him. MST GROUP: . . . . . Sorry about blaming you, B-ko. B-KO: No problem. Now get back to the Fic! MST GROUP: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re going. >the holo-computer to appear. She starts to type, faster and faster. PETER: Eventually breaking the sound barrier, and shattering her arms, therefore leading to her new self loathing complex, turning her to evil. (Others stare at him.) What? >After a few minutes she stops, the >computer beeps RANMA(AOL voice): You’ve got mail! PRISS(Sasami doing an impression of the AOL voice): I’ve got mail! >and a green hair barrette lands in her lap. PETER: Sasami Jurai is Cammy, in ‘Street Fighter Two’!! >She sticks it in her hair, AYEKA(Sasami): You know, I still have not figured out the concept of WEARING a hat. I just keep sticking them IN my hair. >then reaches her hand >into nothing. PETER(Sasami): See! Nothing up my sleeve, and nothing in the plot! >She pulls her hand out ALL(singing): You put your right hand in. You take your right hand out. . . >and types a little bit on the computer. Before she turns it off the >message of "All activity logs modified" blinks. Susami AYEKA: That is "Sasami", you twit!! >walks to the dimensional door opens it and >leaves. PRISS(evil Sasami): Neh-heh-heh-heh! That’ll teach them to spell my name wrong! >The next morning. "Good morning Tenchi." A very seductive voice says. ALL(blandly): Good morning, Ryoko. AYEKA: It has gotten to the point where I am no longer angered, by this scene. Amazing, is it not? >Tenchi blinks his sleepy >eyes open and beholds Ryoko's face floating above him. GHHAAAA! "Will please stop doing that >Ryoko!" He yells. PETER(Tenchi): You know I hate it when you pull your face off like that! AYEKA(ditto): It is horrible, disgusting, and I do not like it when you pull it off of the rest of your body, either!! >He crawls out of bed and runs to the bathroom. RANMA(Tenchi): Oh great! Now I’m going to be sick because you pulled your face off, again! Thanks a lump, Ryoko!! PRISS(Ryoko): Anytime! >"Before you even think of it Ryoko, >no." Ryoko follows him to the bathroom door. "But Tenchi!" she pleads to the door and starts pawing it >like a cat. PRISS(Ryoko as Big Bad Wolf): Open the door! Let me in! Let me in! RANMA(Tenchi as Little Pig): Not by the hair on my chinny chin-chin! >Ayeka walks out of her room and sees Ryoko at the door. "Miss Ryoko! Such behavior!" she >yells. Ryoko stands and turns to Ayeka. "Well you could try if you want princess." AYEKA: No thanks, Miss Ryoko. You see, I have this little problem called "Decency", that keeps me from doing things like that. PETER: Maybe you should go to a psychiatrist, and have that cured. AYEKA: Priss, hit him for me. PRISS: Gladly. (Backhands Peter.) *WHAM!!* PETER(flying through the air, and over the seats): NO MAS!!! (Hits the wall at the back of the theater.) *WHUMP!* Ouch. . . . . >she says as she floats >through the floor. "Why you!" grrrrrr. PETER(sitting back down in his seat): So, she’s turning into Moe, from ‘The Three Stooges’? PRISS: I didn’t hit him hard enough. >Susami RANMA: That’s SASAMI!! >is in the kitchen cooking PETER(old geezer): That girl is evil, I tell you! EVIL!! >when she hears them start >blowing things up. PRISS: And that’s when the Masaki family’s resident redecoraters, get to work. AYEKA(stereotypical gay voice): Oh these walls will just never do! They have to go-go-go! >"Will those two ever learn?" ALL: No. PETER: Actually, it’s only Ayeka this time, since Ryoko already phased through the floor, and left. PRISS: Hey! That’s right! RANMA: So Ayeka’s making that racket by herself. ALL: Guess so. >she asks no one in paticular. The cabbit meows. PETER(Sasami): What’s that girl? Ayeka is getting good at destroying the house all by herself, now? RANMA(Ryo-oh-ki): Actually, I was going to say that you look strangely evil this morning, and your name is spelled wrong. >=But I >hope they don't, just so that I can teach them. Oh how I will enjoy that!= Susami ALL: Sasami! >grins slyly. After a few >minutes everyone is eating. Ryoko is fawning over Tenchi, PETER: Ah! So she’s turned into a plant, now? (The others stare at him nervously.) What? >Ayeka is yelling at her, Mihoshi is babbling, ALL: Same old, same old. >and Washu is looking like she slept on a cold metal floor all last night. RANMA: I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that she slept on a cold metal floor all last night? OTHERS: Hmmmm. . . Could be. >Susami ALL: Sasami!! >comes in and sits down >next to her sister and starts eating. RANMA: Wait a minute! I thought "everyone" was already eating? AYEKA: Well, Sasami is not just "everyone". >Ayeka and Ryoko are having a tug-o-Tenchi match. PRISS(Ryoko): Make a wish! *RIIIIIIIIP!!!* (Priss and Ranma both jump slightly, and Ayeka pales.) PETER(holding a piece of cloth): These chairs weren’t that well made, were they? >"Ryoko you let >lord Tenchi go this instant!" she pulls hard on Tenchi's left arm. "Why don't you let him go princess, I >had him first!" AYEKA: You said that _I_ could have him first! >Ryoko pulls on her arm. PRISS: I thought she was pulling on Tenchi’s arm? AYEKA: Hopefully, that is only a typo. RANMA: Hopefully. >Tenchi looks like he is being pulled in half by two strong aliens. PRISS(sarcastically): Gee. I wonder why. >=Why doesn't Ayeka just coperat with Ryoko?= AYEKA: Well, I am afraid that will be impossible until I know what "coperat" is. >Susami ALL: Sasami!! >thinks to herself, =But no, she has to be a ryoal >bitch, not that Ryoko the space slut is helping any.= PRISS: Yeah. Ayeka is just a real royal pain-in-the highness. (Ranma ducks, and Ayeka pulls out a B. F. Hammer, and uses it to clobber Priss.) *WHAM!!* PRISS(smashed): Ouch. . . . . >Tenchi finally frees himself PETER: By chewing his arm off at the elbow. (Others stare at him, nervously.) Well, someone has to do the dark parts, until Priss wakes up. >and runs of to the carrot >fields. RANMA(Tenchi as Princess Leia): Help me Ryo-oh-ki. You’re my only hope. PETER(operator’s voice): BEE-BOOP-BEEP! The cabbit you have dialed is not in service at this time. . . >Ryoko and Ayeka grumble at each other and continue eating. PRISS(finally up again): The one that got away. >=If I...= PETER: Ever complete this damn thought. >Her train of thought is >broken a Mihoshi babbles even louder. "Mihoshi RANMA: Your voice is loud enough to break trains. Stop it! >can you please calm down I don't think Washu is >feeling too well." "Oh I have just the thing!" AYEKA(Mihoshi): I have some GREAT cough medicine! >She pulls out her cube and starts playing with it under the >table. PETER: Mihoshi! Don’t do that at the table! You have to do that sort of thing in private, and in front of a camera! OTHERS: Pervert! >It glows for a seconde RANMA: What’s a "seconde" ? OTHERS: No idea. >and jumps up hitting the bottom of the table. PETER: Uh, that thing doesn’t jump up, on its own, you know. >Susami's PRISS(angrily) Sasami! Sasami! Get it right, damn you!!! >bowl of soup flips >over and lands in her lap. The hot soup pours over her dress burning her. Owwww! AYEKA(sarcastic Washu): Oh yes, that improved my mood a whole bunch. Can you make it land on Ryoko’s head, next time? >Susami ALL: Sasami!!! >yells. "Oh! >I'm so sorry Susami RANMA: That’s Sasami! Is it really THAT hard to spell!?! >let me get a towel." Mihoshi says and runs off. PRISS(angry Sasami): Hey! Get back here, and clean this up, you blond hared, empty headed. . . >Later a very pissed off Susami is >cleaning the dishes. AYEKA: It is the FIRST letter in the alphabet, why does the author not use it, like he is supposed to!? >="I'm so sorry..." You'll be sorry you blond bitch. PETER: We’re already sorry. Can we go, now? >I finally had it with you and the >others being so damn stupid. PRISS: Like YOU are so smart. AYEKA: It is not our fault, Sasami. We are just written that way, by the stereotypical writings of Fan Fiction writers. PETER: Watch the cracks about the Fan Fiction writers, Ayeka. >You mess with me you'll get burned!= She grimaces. RANMA(Sasami): Okay, so after having hot soup land in my lap, maybe that was a poor choice of words. >=Any second now...= >Crash! Susami comes walking into the living room. AYEKA(Sasami): All right! Which of you spelled my name wrong, again!? >Ayeka and Ryoko and standing there looking at the >colapeds couch. Mihoshi is in the middle of it. "Mihoshi are you all right?" PETER(Mihoshi): Of course not! I’m in the middle of a "colapeds" couch! >she asks in her cute voice. >"Ow,ow,ow." Mihoshi gets up,"I just sat down to watch my favorite soap opera and it colapsed!" PRISS(Mihoshi): Whatever "colapsed" is. >"That >must be bad luck. The couch must be realy AYEKA: Does the author not have ‘spellcheck’ available to him? >old to do that." Susami says. =Bad luck for Mihoshi?= Ryoko >thinks to herself, RANMA(Ryoko): Must be the time for the world to end. Oh well. When’s lunch? PETER: You know, Ryoko WOULD probably say something like that. >"For others maybe but not her, oh well .= Later in the carrot fields Susami PETER(teacher): Today boys and girls, we’re going to learn about the letter "A". "A" is the second and fourth letters in the name "Sasami". Understand? RANMA(Mecha Dude): Uh. . . No? >brings him >his lunch. PRISS: Bring who, who’s lunch? >"Hiya Tenchi!" PRISS: Oh, that who. RANMA: Sounds like Sasami is taking Karate lessons. >Tenchi smiles at her. PETER & AYEKA(praying): Please don’t let this become a lemon scene. Please don’t let this become a lemon scene. . . . >"Hi Susami, thank you for bringing me lunch!" "It's >nothing Tenchi." she says as she lays out a blanket. =Nothing really except the mild aphrodisiac, and the >sleepyness drug.= PETER(to Sasami in the Fan Fic): You are NOT helping. AYEKA: And this is coming from our coworker who does the sex jokes, mind you. >"Nothing at all." ALL(sarcastically): Sure, Sasami. Sure. >Later Tenchi is leaning agenst a tree looking a little tired. RANMA(Tenchi): Ugh. I feel like I just ate a "mild aphrodisiac", and a "sleepyness drug". >Susami is >sitting next to him drinking. PETER(Tenchi): Hey, aren’t you a little young to be doing that? PRISS(Sasami): Ah, bite me, Tenchi! OTHERS: Priss! PRISS: Yeah, yeah. I know. Bad choice of words, but somebody had to say it. >Tenchi pats his stomach, "Susami that was wonderful as always! Thank you >so much!" he smiles at her. Susami leans a little closer, "Your welcome Tenchi, I would do anything to >make you happy!" she smiles to him. ALL(fearfully): ARRRGH!!! PEDOPHILE LEMON SCENE!!! ARRRGH!!!! >=Now why did that sound a little weird?= he thinks to himself. RANMA: You don’t wanna know. >He >gets a sniff of Susami and get a little tingling sensation in his crotch. PETER(Tenchi): Woah! Dad was right. You shouldn’t use ‘Denirex’ shampoo for THAT. RANMA(ditto): On my top half I feel nothing, but my lower half is tingling! (Ayeka and Priss get large sweatdrops on the back of their heads.) >=Whow! PETER(Tenchi as Ed from "Good Burger"): I’m missing a shoe! >What am I thinking!= He >quickly gets up. PETER: Hopefully not what we think you were thinking. >"Well I better get back to the carrots." RANMA(flustered Tenchi): D’oh! I mean, I better get back to plowing. D’ oh! I mean I have to get off here. D’oh! I mean. . . >"Please Tenchi why don't you rest a little bit >more?" PETER: No, because he would then be UP all night. AYEKA: That better not have meant what I thought it meant. >"If I don't work on the carrots Ryo-ohki won't have any." =Damn cabbit! PRISS: Hey-hey, don’t curse the cabbit, all right. >Your greed will be your >own undoing!= "Hey has anyone seen Ryo-ohki?" asks Ryoko. RANMA: She was following around a black piglet, with a yellow bandanna, the last time I saw her. >"I say her run out the back door, maybe >she's in the carrots again?" Ayeka says. AYEKA: Why does the author have me talking like I am from Texas? PETER: Actually, it sound’s more Kentucky’an, to me. >They walk to the food shed and see a large pile of carrots on the >floor. A weak meow is heard from underneath. PRISS(Ryo-oh-ki): Need. . . salad. . . dressing. . . >Ryoko pulls the cabbit out and looks at it. "See what >happens when you get too greedy, you could have got hurt." >"Look who's talking Ryoko, but its more like >lust." Ayeka prods. AYEKA: Oh, sure. Like THAT made a lot of sense. >All the girls except Washu are watching tv on the floor when Washu comes out her >door. PETER(eyebrows arching): Hello! RANMA: Well, that ruined my appetite. >She dosn't notice PRISS: What’s a "dosn’t"? >the carrot laying on the floor. She steps on it and falls down bang her head on the >floor and not moving. RANMA: Wow! I didn’t know Shampoo got a job narrating this Fic. PETER(Shampoo narrating): Here bad mish-mash get kiss of death! OTHERS: We wish. >"Little Washu!" Ayeka yells. They run over, Susami ALL: Sasami!! >rolls her over. Washu is out >cold. Ayeka moves Susami ALL: Sasami!! >out of the way and picks up Washu PRISS: over her head, and tosses her out of the house. PETER: And there was much rejoicing! ALL(bored): Yaaay. >. Everyone except Susami ALL: Sasami!! >go upstairs. PRISS: Please pity the poor, stupid author, and do as he says. >No >one noticed the dark look that she gave her sister. PETER(Sasami): I wanted to give her mouth-to-mouth! (Peter is promptly beaten up by the other three members of the MST group.) *BIFF!!* *WHAM!!* *WACK!!* *POW!!* *BODYSLAM!!* . . . . Ow. . . >They all head back down, Ayeka first. Halfway down >she trips and rolls and tumbles to the floor. PRISS, RANMA, & PETER(singing): She rolls down stairs, rolls over in pairs. . . AYEKA(interrupting): NO!!!! (Priss, Ranma, and Peter stop singing.) >She too doesn't move. PETER(singing): Everybody knows, it’s Aye-ka! (Peter spends the next few minutes running from Ayeka.) >Ryoko checks out Ayeka, RANMA(Ryoko): Hey, she’s hot! (Ranma joins Peter, in running from Ayeka, leaving Priss to MST the Fic, by herself.) >who calms >out of it, and finds that her left foot is sprained. PRISS: How would "calms out of it" tell her that her foot is sprained? AYEKA(chasing after Peter and Ranma): Stand still, so I can maim you!!! PETER & RANMA: Can’t catch us! Can’t catch us! Naya-naya!! >"Oh my! PRISS: Hey, Ranma! Kasumi’s making a guest appearance! RANMA(still running from Ayeka): Whatever! >Everyone has had such bad luck today. First >me, the Ryo-ohki, PRISS: No, you’re Mihoshi, not Ryo-oh-ki. AYEKA(chasing after Ranma and Peter): Hold still!!! >then Washu, and now Ayeka!" Mihoshi says. Ryoko turns to the blond. "Mihoshi its >not called bad luck its called someone is doing this to us." PETER(running by): There are more words to it, understand? RANMA(running by, and impersonating Mihoshi): Um. . . No. AYEKA(running by): DIE!!! >"That just leaves three people who could have >done it." Ayeka says. "You, Susami, and Tenchi. Now Tenchi was out in the fields when all the >happened. PRISS: Meaning he’s the prime suspect. AYEKA(running by, and still chasing after Peter and Ranma): No, he is not!! PRISS: Okay, so he’s NOT the prime suspect. >That leaves you and Susami." Ayeka looks at Ryoko as if she was the one who done it. "Hey, >no me! PRISS(Ryoko as Shampoo): Me no do stupid hurt tricks! Ryoko love Tenchi! >Anyway why would I be so tricky!" "Yhea, your right. You don't have enough brains to do it." PETER(running by): She’s gone ‘Redneck’ again! >"What!" "Please don't fight!" Susami ALL: Sasami!! >pleads. "Maybe it was someone who had something happen to >them already." "Your right Susami" PETER(Sasami): What about my right? PRISS: Spell it with me now. S. A, now that’s "A", not "U", but "A". S. . . . >Ryoko says,"Maybe one of us was even brain washed to not >remeber." AYEKA(running by): For Miss Ryoko, I would imagine it would have to be a pretty small wash. PRISS: Hey, Peter! What’s a "remeber"?! PETER(running by): No idea! >Susami PRISS: Sasami!! >puts that last of the hair PRISS: Who’s hair? >on the pile in on the floor and lights it up. PRISS(Sasami as Beavis): Heh-heh! Fire! Fire! >She watches the >hair slowly burn before turning around heading back to her futon and waits. Ahhhhhhh! Everyone wakes >up to the screaming and the smoke. PRISS(Tenchi): How many times must I tell them, "NOT - IN - THE - HOUSE"?!?!?! >Then all the women start to scream as well. PRISS: And now, just the guys! >Everyone runs into the >main room, Tenchi see the fire and doses it with water. PRISS: Here we go, back to Shampoo speak. >Ryoko is seen kneeling before the burnt pile with >the burnt remains of her hair. PRISS: Oh, it’s Ryoko’s. . . . I wonder where the others went? >Ayeka too is distraught. Mihoshi is crying on Tenchi's shoulder, PRISS(Mihoshi): Ryoko looks so horrible without her hair! >and >Washu is looking pissed. "That's it if I ever get my hands on this trouble maker thier dead. PRISS(Washu): And I’ll maker thier life, too! >She storms >into her lab and slams the door. =He,he. Bitch!= Susami PRISS: Sasami!! >thinks evilly. Mihoshi sporting a crew cut, PRISS(soldier): You’re in the army, now!! >Ryoko and Susami PRISS: Sasami!! >sporting matching short hair, PRISS(Sasami): Well, that’ll teach me to get carried away, with the ‘Flobi’ . >and a very tired looking Tenchi are eating breakfast. PRISS: Just another typical day, in the Masaki house. >"She won't leave the room. It's like she lost a family member." Susami PRISS: Sasami! Sasami!! >says. "Wahsu PRISS: Gesundheit! >even snarled at me >when I tried to get her for breakfast." Tenchi says. PRISS(Ryoko): She’s experimenting with that were-wolf serum, I’m telling you. (At this point in time, Peter and Ranma run back in. Their clothing has numerous rips, and tears. They seem to be really scared about something.) PETER & RANMA(frantically): Priss! Priss! Help us! Ayeka’s gone insane!!! PRISS(very confused): Huh? (Suddenly, Ayeka walks in. She is dressed in her S&M outfit, and is brandishing a VERY nasty looking bullwhip. Peter and Ranma run to the other side of Priss, and hide behind her. Priss gets a large sweatdrop on the back of her head.) AYEKA(creepy laugh): HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!!! So, you two thought you could simply slight me like that, and get away with it, did you!?! Well then, it looks like that I shall have to teach you some manners!!! HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!!! PETER: Priss! Do something!!! PRISS(trying to back away from Ayeka): You want ME to be the voice of reason!?!?! RANMA: Do you think that WE can convince her to stop!?!?! PRISS: Um. . . . (Realizes that SHE is the only one who can keep Ayeka from maiming Peter and Ranma, now.) I’m going to go get some popcorn. See’ ya! (She tries to get away.) PETER & RANMA(holding Priss down): NO!!! AYEKA(seemingly considering something): Hmmmm. Tell you what. I shall spare you, for the time being, just so long as you do not do anything else to further incur my wrath. Would that be agreeable? (Cracks her whip at the frightened MST group.) *KA-SNAP!!* OTHERS: Yes, Ayeka. AYEKA(cracks whip a couple more times at the rest of the MST group): *CRACK!!* *WACK!!* Yes, what? OTHERS: Y-yes, Princess. AYEKA(sitting down): Much better. And remember, if you should anger me further. (Ayeka licks her whip, in a wicked fashion. This causes nosebleeds for S&M fans, and scares the doodles out of everyone else.) OTHERS(large sweatdrops): Ulp. . . . >"M...M...My..." Mihoshi whimpers. AYEKA(Mihoshi): V…V…Voce is s…s…stuttering. >"It's just hair, big >deal. Lucky me mine grows back fast." Ryoko comments. =Excellent they are all playing into my hand. >Now the fun really begins...= PETER: Okay, wait a minute here. Maybe Sasami’s evil plan COULD work, but there is one minor detail that she is forgetting. PRISS: Which is? PETER: For all we know, Tenchi might LIKE women who are bald. (Others stare at Peter, nervously.) What? >Washu comes walking into the kitchen completely bald, with a pissed look >on her face. PRISS(Washu): Okay, that’s it! I’m joining a monastery, and none of you better try to stop me! RANMA(Ryoko): Knock yourself out. >"It was someone in this house, and it was female. She used scissors, AYEKA(Washu): And her name has been spelled wrong this entire story. >and I detected several >small dimisonal openings and closings." "You mean you could have done it little Washu?" Tenchi asks. PRISS(sarcastically): Yeah, I’m SO sure she would want to look like ‘The Yellow Kid’. >"Yes I could have, but I too the worst of the hair cuting." Washu says. AYEKA: That is supposed to be "worst hair cut". Not "worst of the hair cuting". >"Ahhhhh!" smash! Everyone runs >upstairs and finds that the bathroom door has fell on Ayeka. PETER(Ayeka): Uh, I meant to do that! (Ayeka’s whip smacks him on the back of his head.) *SMACK!!* Ow. . . . >Tenchi pulls the door off her and holds her >to him. She is whimpering and shuddering. AYEKA(wiping a tear from her eye): This is so beautiful. *sniff* *sniff*. >"Washu find out who did this! I'll make them pay!" Tenchi >says his face red in anger. =Shit! That was not in the plan. I'll need to drug him.= "Ok everyone come >with me to my lab." Tenchi is hooked up to bulb helmet. RANMA(sarcastic Tenchi): Well Washu, I’m glad to see you’re back to your usual self, again. >"I'm using Tenchi as a diagnostic and sample. >Once that's done everyone will be tested to see which one of us is the sneak. Ryoko you first." Everyone >gets tested, turns up to be the culprit. ALL: Even Tenchi? >"I don't understand it. None of us are it but it was one of us. The >machine must be broken." Washu scolds herself. "It has to be one of us. Nothing happened to Tenchi, so >whoever is doing this must be trying to scare us away from him." Mihoshi says. PETER: By shaving your heads, and making you fall down stairs. . . Yeah, I guess that’ll work. >Washu looks at Mihoshi >for a few seconds. PRISS(Washu): You have something on your nose, dear. >"Now I see how you managed to stay a detective so long Mihoshi." Washu comments. >"Why thank you!" "It wasn't a complement." "Oh, ok." Mihoshi says. AYEKA: She would not care if it was a complement or not, anyway. >Washu walks up to the group >standing in the living room, waving a data pad. "With this I can find out who is doing it through the >dimensional redistribution of space and time." Washu says. >"Huh?" Mihoshi is lost. RANMA(Mihoshi as Ryoga Hibiki): Where on Earth am I now!?!?! >"This will find out >who is doing it." AYEKA: Miss Washu, that is called voyeurism. (The others stare at Ayeka, nervously) I just feel like it, okay. >"Oh wow!" Mihoshi says. Washu starts typing away, then uses it to scan Tenchi, then >Ryoko. When she gets to Ayeka a knife falls from the ceiling, impaling itself in the pad. PETER(Washu): Okay, maybe finding out who’s having sex WASN’T such a good idea. I can take a hint. >"Damn! I'll >never find out who it is at this rate. PRISS(Washu): With all these life threatening accidents happening to me whenever I get close to solving the mystery of who has been doing all of this, oh Sasami here’s your knife, I’ll never figure out. . . >But at we now know it is not Ryoko." "Miss Washu, where is Ryo- >Ohki?" Mihoshi asks. RANMA: Ryo-oh-ki!? She doesn’t even have thumbs half of the time, how could she have done it? PETER: How could Sasami alter time and space? RANMA: Good point. >"Lets find her." Tenchi says. Later they find Ryo-Ohki leashed just out of the >reach of a carrot, one they she has been trying to get long before they got there. PRISS: You know, she could just transform into a spaceship, and break free. PETER: You know that, we know that, but the author doesn’t know that. >"Who would do such a >thing?" Mihoshi asks. "A very sick mind indeed. I'll need to reformulate my search methods." Washu >says. RANMA(Ryo-oh-ki): That’s all fine and dandy. Now, can someone please untie me, so I can get that carrot, please? >After a week of no new incidents everyone starts to get less edgy, MST GROUP: Is it over? B-KO(from the control booth): Not yet. MST GROUP: Damnit!! >then ...... Ayeka walks out of the >Osan the color blue. AYEKA: I do not care what Washu says about it. That 2000 flushes tablet is NOT doing any good. >All of Mihoshi's cloths are shredded. PETER(Mihoshi): Someone removed all of the ‘Dry Clean Only’ tags! WHAAAA!! >Someone replaced all of Ryoko's saki with >vinegar. AYEKA: She only started to notice, when she realized she was not getting drunk. >Washu's specimens ran lose in her lab thrashing it. RANMA(Washu): Bad urine samples! Bad! >All of Susami's ALL: Sasami!! >personal stuff was stolen. PETER(Sasami): My cooking wear, my ‘Pretty Sammy’ videos, my ‘How To Alter Time and Space’ handbook, . . . Oops! I think I said that out loud! >Ryo-Ohki was shaved baled. PETER(Ryo-oh-ki): I look like the decapitated head of Prince Charles. (Others stare nervously at him.) What? >Tenchi is walking back and forth in front of the girls. "We got to do >something!" He slams his fist in his palm. "We'll it will be a bit before I can use what's in my lab." >Washu says. PRISS: Stand on one leg! (Everyone does so.) >"We can't use the lab, the culpret knows how to fake any test results." "Then what can we >do?" Ayeka asks. "Leave." Ryoko says. RANMA: Great idea! Bye! (The MST group tries to leave.) B-KO(voice booming in, over the intercom): SIT BACK DOWN!!!!!!! MST GROUP: Nuts. . . (The sit back down.) >"What!?" "Simple, if the culprit want us out of here so bad we >should just leave." And with that Ryoko walks out of the house, orders Ryo-ohki to transform, and flies >off. AYEKA(singing): Boooorn freeee!!. . . >"She can't just do that!" Ayeka screams. ALL: She just did. >"But she just did." Mihoshi points out. ALL: We already said that. >"Will you use your >head a little more you stupid, moronic, twit!" Ayeka says, then storms up the stairs. PRISS(weather person): Today’s forecast shows Ryoko leaving the house, but with Ayeka moving up the stairs. We’ll keep you posted, on further developments. >=My plan is even >doing better then I thought! Now for phase two!= PETER: You know, if the author was trying for a "Who done it" type of story, he should have left out the title, and most of the story. RANMA: How about ALL of the story? PETER(hand up to his chin, in a thoughtful position): Yet a THIRD possibility. >Washu is busy typing away when Mihoshi walks in. >"Mihoshi don't touch anything. What do you want?" PRISS(Mihoshi): To torment your very existence, of course. >"Susami ALL: Sasami!!! >sent me down to tell you lunch is ready." >Mihoshi says. "I'll be up in a minute." Washu says off handedly. Mihoshi walks off then an explosions >heard. AYEKA: "an explosions heard". . . Uh-huh. Me thinks the author did not read his own writing. PETER: I wouldn’t want to read it either, if I ever wrote something this bad. >Washu runs to the source and finds Mihoshi sprawled on the floor near a now broken piece of >equipment. PRISS: In one ear, and right out the other. >"I thought I tolled you not to touch anything! RANMA(Mihoshi): No. You "told" me not to touch anything! >That experiment you just ruined was 5,000 >years in the making. That's a long time even for one of my experiments!" PETER(to Washu): 5000 years ago, YOU were inside of a crystal prison, REMEMBER!?!?! >Washu yells at a dizy Mihoshi. >"B-but I didn't do ..." Mihoshi tries to say but Washu interrupts. "Get out! Get out! Get out! PRISS: Okay, we’re going! B-KO(from the control booth): SIT BACK DOWN!!! >I never want >you in here again! If I do I'll turn you into a newt or worse!" AYEKA(Washu): Like a talking frog, in a stupid beer commercial!! PRISS(frog): Bud. . . PETER(Louie): We could’ve been huge!!! OTHERS(large sweatdrops on their heads): Er. . . . >Mihoshi runs out of the lab, Washu yelling >at her all the way. ALL(singing): Running through the lab, without having your say. Being followed by a red-head, yelling all the way. . . >Tenchi is sitting down when Mihoshi runs out of Washu's lab's door. It slams behind >her. Mihoshi is crying up a storm. Tenchi walks over RANMA: And pulls out an umbrella. >. "Mihoshi are you alright?" "Washu hates me and >it's not my fault!" "What happened Mihoshi?" "I was walking by one of Washu's experiments, then it >blew up, and she yelled at me, and chased me, and ..." Mihoshi babbles on and on PRISS: and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and. . . >. "It's alright Mihoshi. >We'll talk to Washu when she calms down." Tenchi says, holding Mihoshi to show is support. Ayeka >walks by and sees Tenchi holding Mihoshi in his arms. =Why that sneaky bimbo! First it's Ryoko, now >her!= She storms off. "I'm leaving Tenchi!" Mihoshi says between sniffs. "But why?" PRISS(Mihoshi): Because this Fic SUCKS!!! >"No one want's me >around here anymore, so I'm leaving!" Mihoshi says, then twists her cube and teleports to her ship. PETER: But she ends up in the lake, instead. AYEKA: As usual. >The >ship flies out of the pond and into the sky. "Mihoshi!" Tenchi yells at the ship. =He, he. Two down, two >to go!= "Since you can't generate the light hawk wings on command, PETER: Hold it! Wait just a carrot picking minute, here!! This Fic is based in the OAV universe!?!?! RANMA: Then why hasn’t Tsunami done anything, considering that she should have realized what Sasami is doing. AYEKA: She probably left, because this story is so terrible. PRISS: Makes sense, in a weird and twisted sort of way. >I have no reason to stay here any >more. Goodbye Tenchi." Washu says, kisses him on the cheek, RANMA(freaking out): GYAAH!!! IT’S THE KISS OF DEATH!!! PETER: It’s not the ‘Kiss Of Death’, you dolt. RANMA: Oh. . . . . I knew that! >and walks into her lab door. When it >closes, it wavers slightly then reverts back to a normal looking door. PRISS: It still looks the same! >"Not you too Washu." Tenchi says >speaking to the floor. =Only sister dearest left.= "One of them must have been the one, nothing has >happened since then." Ayeka says relaxing in the osan. "Yeah, but I miss them all!" Susami ALL: Sasami!!! >says. =I >loved fucking them over.= ALL: EEW!!! Think about what you are saying!!! >"Well I don't now that they are all gone, I and lord Tenchi can finally be >together. Susami ALL: Sasami!!! >can you get me a towel?" "Ok." =Order me around! I'll show you!= PETER(Sasami as Moe, from "The Three Stooges"): Why you! I’ll moidalize you!! >When Susami PRISS: Would you get it right already!?!?! >got >out of Ayeka's sight, she went to the top pond and pourd a vial in the water. RANMA(sarcastically): Oh, gee. I wonder if THAT could be some sort of gelatin? >Then she put her cloths on AYEKA: "Clothes", not "cloths". She does not dress up in rags, or the like. >and walked out the osan. "Susami PETER: Damn your hide, it is spelled S-A-S-A-M-I!!! Sasami!!! >will you hurry up please." "I wonder way the water is so murky." >"Susami. Suasmi?" ALL: Sasami Sasami!!! >=Where is she?= Ayeka moves to get up, when she does she notices that the water is >clinging to her like syrup. PRISS: And the prize for plot reading, goes to Ranma! RANMA: Oh, come on! It was SO obvious!! >She slips and sinks back down. She tries to get back up again, but finds the >water to hard. PETER: You’re missing an "o" on the end of the "to". >"Help! Help me!" Ayeka yells. AYEKA: I have fallen! And I am really, really stuck! >Susami RANMA: Sasami!!! >is walking down the hall, hearing Ayeka's screams >for help. "Ha, that will show her." Susami AYEKA: Sasami!!! >says. "Now to go visit Tenchi." She leers, and rubs her hand >together. PRISS: Rubs her hand together, with what? >A foot appears near the edge of the pool. AYEKA: I wanted someone to give me a HAND, not a FOOT!! >Ayeka looks up and stops screaming. "What are you >doing here?" Ayeka asks the person. PETER(person): Watching you wrestle in a pool of Jell-O! (Ayeka’s whip wraps around Peter’s waist.) HEY! WAIT, I- (And Peter is flung into the air.) AIEEEEEEE!!!! (Ayeka starts showing her immense skill at using a whip, by whipping Peter while he is in midair.) *CRACK!* *POW!* *SNAP!* *POCK!* *KA-VACK!* *WACK!* *MISCELLANIOUS WHIP NOISE!* *OOOH, THAT’S GOING TO HURT IN THE MORNING!* *SMACK!* *WOCK!* *POP!* *KER-SMACK!* (Peter falls back down into his seat, looking like a badly abused bag of dirty laundry. Ayeka also sits back down, acting as if nothing had happened. Priss and Ranma have large sweatdrops on the back of their heads.) Ouch. . . . . . >"Show her what?" A female voice says from the shadows. Susami ALL(Peter with a lot of pain in his voice): Sasami!!! >turns to the voice. "No it can't be!" PETER(painfully sitting up): It an editor!!! >Susami ALL: Sasami!!! >runs, but is knocked down. Susami ALL: Sasami!!! >is dragged into the >shadows by her legs. "Help! Help me!" "No one can help you now! hahahahhahahah!" RANMA(voice): First, we’re going to start spelling your name correctly! PRISS(Sasami): Noooo! PETER(voice): Then we’re going to have you start acting in character for once! AYEKA(Sasami): I shall be good from now on! I promise! >Tenchi is sitting >in his room fuming. PRISS(holding her nose, and waving her hand in front of her face): Fwew! Cut down on the broccoli, Tenchi! AYEKA(dangerously): Priss. . . . PRISS: Aw, come on! The joke was right there! >Someone knocks on the door. "Go away, don't bother me." he says. PETER(Tenchi): I’m busy fuming! >The door opens >and Mihoshi walks in. "Mihoshi!" Tenchi runs up to her and hugs her. "I thought you left!" RANMA(Mihoshi): Gack! Tenchi . . . spine. . . being . . . crushed! >"Oh no! >Ryoko was waiting for one of us to leave too. She talked to me, telling me that if she waited, everyone >who wasn't the culprit would leave." "But what about Washu?' "Who me?" Washu says walking out of >the shadows. PRISS(old radio announcer voice): Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Sasami? The Washu knows. MUW-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! (The others stare nervously at Priss, but do not say anything.) >"How did you do that?" "Easy, anyway once I calmed down I went over to my destroyed >experiment. That's where I found this!" Washu says then waves a strand of long blue-green hair at >Tenchi. PETER(holding a magnifying glass up to his eye): Sailor Neptune did it, with the ratchet set, in the Observatory! >"Susami!" AYEKA: She does not have "blue-green" hair, and it is SASAMI!!! RANMA(sarcastically): Nuts! They gave away the ending! >Tenchi says. "Yup, once I figured that out I contacted my daughter and we filled each >other in. I need some more proof first." "More proof?" Tenchi asks puzzled. "Me." Ayeka says. Ayeka is >incased in a murky solid block of water, Ryoko is standing behind her. "What happened?" AYEKA(sarcastically): Take a BIG guess! >"My little >sister did this." Ryoko starts to rip off chucks off water. PRISS: "Off chucks off water"? Shouldn’t that be "off chunks of water"? RANMA: Why is she doing that, anyway? PETER: Because she couldn’t fit through the door, otherwise. AYEKA: But I thought there was always supposed to be room for Jell-O. (The others stare nervously, at Ayeka.) Well, the joke was right there for the taking, so why should I refuse? >"Where is Susami?" PETER: It’s SASAMI, damnit!! Get it through your head, already!!! >"Oh, getting what she >deserves. PRISS(Sasami): And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids, and that darn cabbit! >Don't worry, she'll be alright; mostly alright anyway. Then we'll have a nice long talk with her. >He he." Washu says, her teeth gleaming. PETER(Tenchi): Washu, have you been eating my glow-in-the-dark stickers, again? (The others stare at him, nervously.) What? >Susami is running around inside a large tank, running after her >is a creature that is all tenticals. "AAAAAHHHHHH!" Susami screams. PETER(newscaster): Tragedy befell the Masaki house, as Sasami Jurai had her name repeatedly spelled wrong, and was later attacked by a giant plate of spaghetti. RANMA: Well, I’m famished. Anyone else up for lunch? AYEKA: How can you possibly eat, after seeing a story like THAT? RANMA: Hey, watching repeated misspellings makes me hungry. PRISS: Come to think of it, I’m getting hungry too. PETER: That’s probably just because of all the vomiting we did, during the LAST Fic. AYEKA: Please refrain from reminding us. RANMA: So it’s settled then? We’re all going to eat? OTHERS: Yes. RANMA: Then lets get going! It’s lunch time!!! (The MST group exits the theater.) =========================================================================== Cue on the main lounge. The MST group is currently seated at a big, round, table, pigging out on a large pile of food. Even Ayeka has forsaken all table manners, and is chowing down just as fast as Ranma. Each of the MST members has their own personalized coffee cup, next to where they are eating. Let us guess where our favorite characters are, by reading the words on the cups, shall we? Starting from the cup positioned at the top of the table (12:00, from the camera’s perspective) and going counterclockwise, the cups read the following; "Call Me Princess", "Macho Man", "Shut Up And Pour", and finally "BEAN ME!!!!!!!". Everything was going down the gullets of the crew, when B-ko suddenly walked over. She was now dressed in something that looked like her ‘Akagiyama 23’ battle suit, except it was dark black, and studded with silver spikes all around. "BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" Laughed B-ko, in a spine freezing kind of laugh. "Fools! As you can plainly see, I have now become pure EVIL!!! Tremble before my dark might, puny mortals!!!" The MST group did not even look up. "Can’t talk now. *MUNCH!* *SLURP* Eating." Said Ranma, in between bites. B-ko got back up from her face fault, and glared at the four bottomless pits. "I went through a lot of pain, and torment by baptizing my soul in pure darkness, AND SOMEONE IS GOING TO ACKNOLEDGE MY PRESENCE OF BEING ONE WITH THE CHAOS!!!" B-ko was stomping her feet, and was just crossing the line between complaining, and whining. "Peter, could you PLEASE do something about her?" asked Ayeka, before biting into a mutton chop. "Okay, okay. Geez, why do I have to solve these problems?" said Peter, reaching for something in his coat pocket. "Because *CHOMP* you’re *MUNCH* our fearless *GULP* leader." Said Priss, while eating. "Ah, here it is!" Peter pulled out a Poke-ball from his pocket. "Overfriend! I choose you!!" He tosses the ball, in front of B-ko. The ball opens up, and releases a super deformed version of the infamous ‘Tentacle Monster’, with twice as many tentacles. It really is not that scary looking, but it does look formidable. "What the hell. . ." B-ko stares in shock at the weird creature before her. "Overfriend, keep her busy for awhile, okay?" said Peter, resuming his eating. The creature grinned (at least it looked like it was grinning) and wrapped several tentacles around B-ko’s arms and legs, immobilizing her. The creature then shambled out of camera range, although B-ko could still be heard, from the other side of the room. "Hey! Put me down, you beast! Let me go! Huh? What do you think you’re. . .?!?! Don’t! Stop that! Gah! Put that back on me, this instant! No! Don’t do that! I- OOH!!. . . . Ah. Oh. Mmm. A little to the left! A little to the left!! OH YES!!!" After a few minutes, the audio focuses back on the MST group. "Hey, Peter?" "Mmph?" Peter swallowed the bite of sandwich in his mouth. "What, Ayeka?" "Where did you ever get THAT Pokemon?" inquired the princess. Peter considered how to explain. "Well, the other day I was visiting ‘The Slayers’ universe, and there was this chimera lab that was up for sale. Well, one of the special offers was that anyone who considers buying it, gets to test it by making one free chimera, to take home. Well, on that day, I just happened to have some ‘Tentacle Beast’ DNA, as well as some essence of ‘Pokemon’, so I-" Peter did not get to finish, as the signal blared. *gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble!!!!* "I’ll tell you later, right now, we’ve got to MST the next Fic." said Peter, standing up. "But we’re still eating!!" complained Ranma, and Priss. "Then take some food with you, just hurry up!" Peter picked up the rest of his sandwich, and headed toward the door. "Hey, B-ko! Are you going to be all right?" "OH! Oh, yes. I’ll be peRFECTLY!!! Ahem, perfectly fine! OOOOOOH!!!" replied B-ko. Peter had a large sweatdrop on the back of his head. "Uh-huh. Well, let’s go, guys!" "Right behind you!" replied the other three members of the MST group, all of whom were carrying large portions of food in their arms. The entered the theater, following close behind Peter. =========================================================================== (The MST group re-enters the theater, and sits in their usual spots, but by the time they reach their seats, they have all finished off the food the brought with them.) AYEKA(using a napkin to wipe her face): Well, let us see what kind of hell-spawned, piece of trash, THIS is. PRISS: You took the words right out of my mouth, Ayeka. RANMA: Well, it can’t possibly be as bad as that last Fic. PETER: Don’t say that Ranma! You know what’ll happen! RANMA: OOPS! Sorry about that. PRISS: Well, it’s starting. >Disclaimer: I didn't create Pretty Sammy or any of the other people AYEKA: I should certainly hope not. >AIC and Pioneer do. I just write a >story based on them and with them in it. PRISS: As opposed to the story being about something completely different. >This story is not meant to offend any one. ALL: Too late!!! >So I'm sorry if I make >any one mad. PETER(creepy voice): Mad? Why do they always accuse me of being mad? It makes me want to do terrible, HORRIBLE, things to them!! (The others stare at Peter nervously, but do not say anything.) >Oh, and please don't sue me. I'm just a writer. (Note: This is a Lemon, ALL(wide eyed): . . . . . PRISS: A-a-a-a-a P-P-Pretty Sammy, LEMON!!!! RANMA: Great jumping gihosophat!! What have we gotten ourselves into!?!?! AYEKA: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Turns to stone, and falls down.) *thunk!* PETER: Why?. . . . WHY, GOD, WHY!?!?!?! >not a Regular or a >Crossover. If you are under 18 you should not read this. PETER: Eighteen. PRISS: Twenty one. RANMA: Eighteen. AYEKA(getting back up into her chair): One thousand, eight hundred, and twenty nine. (The others momentarily get large sweatdrops on the back of their heads.) I guess that means we all have to stay, and watch the story. ALL(cursing): Damn. >) Written by Tank Cop 4/18/99 Sammy's Little >Secret PETER: It’s times like these, I wish I had windows in here, to jump out of. >============================= RANMA: I’d just like to take the train, out of here. >Rumiya arrives in Sasami's room in bird form then >changes. PRISS: Into what? PETER(announcer): Rumiya IS, Count Dracula. >"Sammy I got your message and I agree. My sister is out-of-control, and should be stopped." AYEKA(Rumiya): She has already eaten all of the Ho-hos. She must go on a diet. >Rumiya looks around the room to find a response. There is none. PRISS(Rumiya): Dangit! And I just used my best entrance scene, too! >"Sammy please. I'm not lying, I really >do want to help you stop my sister." PETER(Rumiya): I’m getting tired of telling her to come home from Bingo Night. >Sasami PRISS: That’s Susami!. . . Oops, never mind. >steps out of a dark corner. Dressed in a long black night >shirt that goes down to the knees, with a big carrot picture on the front. RANMA: Oh, her secret is that she’s a vampire. That’s all. >"Thanks for coming. I thought >for a while you wouldn't come." PETER(waving towards the readers): Goodnight everybody. >"Well, I'm here. You said in your letter that you want to talk to me about >leaving my crazy sister and joining you." Sasami grinned. AYEKA(Sasami): Yup! She is not even half as crazy as me! >"Yes, thats right. Ramias out-of-control, PRISS: We seem to be having a lack of apostrophes, here. >her >and that Pixy Misa that helps her. RANMA: What about the one that torments Sasami? >I know that you disapprove of her ways. PRISS(Sasami): Victims should be raped, and THEN killed. OTHERS: Priss!!! PRISS: What? >You helped stop her and that >Dumb computer sales guy from standardizing the world. AYEKA(to Peter): Who is she talking about? PETER: ‘Biff Standard’. A parody character of ‘Bill Gates’. He tried to standardize the world, by making the Moon crash into the Earth. RANMA: Uh. . . How would that standardize the world? PETER: I have no idea. >And you did save my life in that giant robot." PETER: I don’t remember THAT happening. >Rumiya now with a very red face and a big grin. ALL(singing): Rumiya the red faced brat, had a very goofy grin. . . >"Ya, well. Its just that I saw you were in danger and >needed my help, as I needed yours." Sasami now glowing red. "So...So will you join me?" "Yes, I will >join me Sammy." AYEKA(Sasami): No, no, no. That was supposed to be you, joining me. Understand? RANMA(Rumiya): Uh . . . No? >Sasami was so happy that she jumped for joy. ALL: Boingi, boingi, boingi, boingi. . . . >Then she saw that Rumyia was leaving? PRISS: What’s with the question mark? >"Wait Rumiya, were are you going?" Rumiya turned around to look at the confused little girl. "I'm going >to get my stuff, then find a place to stay. I'll see you in the morning." RANMA: Yes! No lemon scene! Hooray! ALL: YAHOO!!!! >Sasami's voice now sounding a >little worried. "No please. You...You can stay here if you want!" ALL(panicking): No he can’t!!! >Rumiya stares at Sasami in confusion. >"What, why. Wouldn't I get in the way, and where would I stay? PETER(Sasami): You can be my new pet birdie. Just watch out for that putty-cabbit! >Plus, who knows how long until your >family finds out about me." >"No worries. I'll just use my magic powers on them. RANMA: Uh. . . What kind of magic powers does she have? PETER: She can see people’s emotions, hit things with her transformation wand, and stand being dressed in that ridiculous costume of hers. That’s it. >It worked with Ryo- >Ohki. PRISS(Rumiya): Uh, that’s okay. I can already turn into an animal. >I'll make them think your my cousin or something." AYEKA(Rumiya): Wouldn’t they be suspicious of that, since they have never seen me before? >Rumiya with a look of happiness on his face. PRISS: What? What does he do? TELL ME, DAMNIT!!! >"Ok, thanks Sammy." "Please call me Sasami. AYEKA(Sasami): But if you should put a "u", where the "a" is, I shall shave your head, cause you to slip on carrots, and make you fall down stairs! >And I got one more thing for you before you go, >something I've been wanting to give to you ever since the first time I saw you." "What's that?" PETER(Sasami): Birdseed! >Sasami >walks up to Rumiya grads the back of his head and kisses him!" PRISS: Who said that? PETER: No one. There was only one quotation mark, for that sentence. >"UMM!" Then she lets him go. Rumiya >still shocked. PETER(Pikachu): Pika! >"I didn't expect you to use your tongue!" RANMA: Oh no! Here we go!! >She then tosses Rumiya on her bed. "Make love to >me Rumiya, please!" "WHAT. Are you sure you want, Sasami?" "Ever since I met you I've wanted this!" PETER(pulling out megaphone): This looks like a job for "Mr. Bullhorn"!!! (Through megaphone) SASAMI FIRST SAW RUMIYA IN HIS ‘BIRD’ FORM, AND HAD NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN HIM IN HUMAN FORM AT ALL IN THE PRETTY SAMMY SERIES!!!!!!! OTHERS: Cut it out, Peter!!!!! >Rumiya then gets off ALL: Already? >the bed, then lays Sasami down on her back on the bed, and starts to remove her >night shirt. "Oh, I can see that you were prepared to have sex with me!" PRISS(to the author): They are only eight years old, YOU SICKO!!!! >Rumiya was right. Sasami was >not wearing a bra ALL: For what!? >or panties, she was completely naked! PETER: No, she was wearing a shirt that went down to her knees! THAT counts a clothing!! >"I was hoping you would have sex with me, so I >came RANMA: Check please! >prepared!" Rumiya then rushed to remove his cloths, a minute later only his underpants remand. PRISS(Rumiya): Stupid. . chastity. . .belt. . .won’t . . .come. . . .off!!! >"Wait, I'll take those off for you!" Sasami said eagerly! She reached down and slowly pulled off his >underpants to show a large and well shaped penis! AYEKA(to the author): As Priss pointed out earlier, THEY ARE ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD, YOU SICKO!!!!! >"Oh, your penis is bigger then I thought it was!" PRISS(Sasami): Especially since you aren’t even thirteen! >Rumiya frowned and stared at Sasami's breasts! RANMA: She has none. >They were quite well staked for a girl her age! PETER: Oh pu-lease!!! She makes ‘Lina Inverse’ look like ‘Dolly Pardin’ !!!! >Her >nipples were a bright rose color. He also took a close look at her pussy! RANMA(jumps to the back of the theater): GYAAAH!!! OTHERS: Not THAT pussy! RANMA(jumps back to his seat): Oh. >It looked warm and inviting to >Rumiya's eyes! PRISS: What’s with all the exclamation points? PETER: The author probably thinks that it somehow makes the Fic better, than it actually is. >"Well, your pretty hot your self!" Then Rumiya laid on top of Sasami and inserted his >penis into her pussy. PRISS: Insert tab P. into slot P. >"OUCH, OWW!" Sasami wined in pain PETER: Slot P, not slot A. AYEKA: Peter, that was sick. PETER: As sick as this Fic? AYEKA: That is not possible. >for a seconded as Rumiya's penis centered >her pussy. RANMA(Rumiya): Okay, I’ve just got to center it. I’ll get it in the right hole, this time, I just know I will! PRISS(Sasami): Use your hands instead of your penis, dummy!! >Then Rumiya started to move up and down faster,. and faster. AYEKA(Sasami): Um, just WHAT are you doing? PETER(Rumiya): Uh . . . Deep knee bends? > Making the sex even more >intense. PRISS: What do you mean "Making the sex even more intense"? That’s what sex IS! >Rumiya then grabbed Sasamis' left breast PETER: But couldn’t find it. >and squeezed it gently. Sasami was also rubbing >Rumiya's chest. AYEKA(Sasami): Hey! We have the same bra size! >Rumiya then started to lick Sasami's breast, RANMA: Okay, but answer me this one question; WHAT BREASTS?!?!?!? >then stared to suck on her breast. This went >on for five minutes! PRISS(Sasami): That’s it!?!?! PETER: You want it to go on longer? PRISS: No. >Sasami then grabbed Rumiya's balls, PETER(Sasami): Now, turn your head, and cough. RANMA(panicked Rumiya): How can I cough, when I’m screaming!?! PRISS(Stan): Dude, that’s pretty f#%*ed up, right there! AYEKA: Priss, please think about WHAT you are saying. PRISS(considers it): . . . . Sorry. >as a sign that she was about to climax! AYEKA: As opposed to just saying it! >So >Rumiya move as fast as he could, until they both came! RANMA: I thought they were already there? >Rumiya then got off sasami and laid next to her >in bed. "Hay *PANT* Sasami. How about *WEZ* I stay in your room!" "My thoughts *PANT* exactly." >"Hay Sasami, *HOF* you want to do it again!" "Ok. *WEZ* My first time was great maybe *PANT* my >second time will *HOF* be even better!" PRISS: So they both contracted asthma, while having sex? AYEKA: Apparently so. >END. ALL: HOORAY!!!! >================================ PETER(train): Choo-choooo!!! >I thought it >would be interesting to know what would happen if Sasami and Rumiya got together. AYEKA: Well, I certainly hope that you know better, now. >Please be kind >with your comments. PRISS: Yeah, right. >Tank Cop. (The MST group rushes out of the theater.) =========================================================================== The MST group walks into the lounge, only to see a dried out looking Overfriend, laying on the floor, gasping for air. They look toward the other end of the room, and see B-ko sitting against the wall. Her hair is a mess, and the only thing keeping her from being naked was a light blue bed sheet, that she was clutching to her chest. Aside from this, she looked very happy at the moment. "water. . . . water. . . ." the Overfriend kept repeating. Peter rushed off to get some water, while Ayeka decided to inquire about what happened. "Uh, B-ko. . ." "Mmmm. . . Oh! I didn’t realize you guys finished the Fic." B-ko proceeded to wrap the bed sheet around her body. Peter returned, carrying a cooler-size bottle of water. He opened it up, and started pouring the water into the Overfriend’s mouth. *glug* *glug* *glug* *glug* *glug* *glug* "So, uh. . . How was the Fic?" B-ko asked, knowing fully well how bad it was. "Oh, great. The best. Hope they never make another one like it. There’s no way in Hell that you’ll ever get us to do another Fic." said Priss, sounding very unamused. "YOU WILL MST THE FAN FIC, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!!!" The voice of one of the sponsors boomed in, over the intercom. "Oh really!?!" said Ranma. "And what can you possibly do to us, huh!?!" "WE ARE PRESENTLY IN ORBIT OVER THE TRAINING GROUND OF CURSED SPRINGS!!!" boomed the voice. ". . . . . . . . . ." The MST group, and B-ko, looked very worried. "AND BEFORE YOU ASK, _YES_ WE WOULD DARE TO DO SO!!!" "Peter, why are you friends with people like him?" asked Ayeka. "They are not my friends." Said Peter, as he finished pouring the water. "There. How do you feel now, Overfriend?" "Much better, thank you." Said the Overfriend. "Amazing." Said Priss. "It even talks." "Now, get back inside the Poke-ball." Said Peter, holding the red and white sphere. "Aw, do I have to?" whined the Overfriend. "Well." B-ko walked up to the SD Tentacle creature. "You can stay with me. If you want." B-ko blushed maidenly, and fluttered her eyelashes. ". . ." The Overfriend pushed the Poke-ball button itself, and jumped into the ball. "Well, that’s definitely a first." Said Peter. Just then, the signal to start occurred. *Dare you enter, The Chamber of Farts?* The entire cast gets large sweatdrops on the back of their heads. "Maybe we can just sit this one, out." Said Ranma. "JOUSENKYO!!!" the sponsor’s voice boomed in. "We’re going! We’re going!" said the MST group, as they entered the theater. B-ko stood in the center of the room, looking confused, and feeling rejected. "Was it something I said?" B-ko then went into the control booth. =========================================================================== (The four MST group members enter into the theater. You know the drill.) >Hi there ! ALL: Bye there! (The MST group tries to run back out.) B-KO(from the control booth): HEY!!! MST GROUP: Rats. . . (They trudge back to their seats.) >This is the fisrt part of a 5 parts story. RANMA(whining): You mean there are four more parts to this? Aw, man! >It is also my first attempt to write something in english PRISS: Which means? PETER: Expect lots of Shampoo-speak. >(i'm french), AYEKA: I’m disgusted. RANMA: I’m hungry. PRISS: I’m grumpy. PETER: I’m Ed Bradley, and this is ‘Sixty Minutes’. (Others stare at him, nervously.) What? >therefore there must be some errors in it. AYEKA: Mind you, he said there "must" be, instead of their "might" be. >Anybody who would feel good enough to review >it, correct it and send me back a corrected version would be very kind and I would include is name in the >credits. PETER: Review it? Being done. Correct it? I don’t think so. Sending back a corrected version? No. >Legal stuff. This story is in the Tenchi Muyo OAV universe. AYEKA(sarcastically): Oh, wonderful. >All right reserved to whoever >possesed them blah blah blah you get the point. RANMA: Yeah, can we go now? B-KO(from the control booth): No! RANMA: I wasn’t asking YOU! >This story is happening in the OAV serie. PRISS: That’s "series", and you already pointed that out to us. >Sasami's >Quest I PETER: What? Is this some sort of role playing game? >It has been a hard day for Sasami. AYEKA(Sasami): First I had a really bad dream, and then I turned evil, and then I had sex with a bird. PRISS: Same old, same old. >In bonus of the daily cleaning and cooking, she was forced to >stop one more battle between her sister and Ryoko, fight to defend the carrots reserve against a raid of >Ryo-ho-ki and save Tenchi from a new Washu's experiment. RANMA(Sasami as Shampoo): Aiyah! Me have very bad day, today. >At last, all that was the past, she could >finnaly relaxes in the familly flying-domed-baths PRISS: Lots and lots of Shampoo-speak. >(who's build that anyway ?). AYEKA: I have no idea "who’s build that", but it was originally the private bath in my Ryu-oh, before I crashed. >Being alone, with Ryo-ho- >ki, RANMA: That’s "oh-ki". "Ryo-oh-ki". >she leaved her towel ALL: "Left" her towel. >on the side of the baths, enjoying the contact of the water on all her body. She >liked this; when the others girls AYEKA: "Other". There is no "s" at the end. >where in the baths with her she'd always keep her towel on, being a little >shy to show her little body to all those fully grown women. PRISS: Washu is fully grown? >For more than a hour, Sasami was in a near- >sleep state, being waked by time to time by surprise attacks from Ryo-ho-ki, PETER: That’s, oh forget it. . . It didn’t do any good back in "Evil Susami", why should it work here? >trying to poke her on the >head while staying at a save distance of the water. AYEKA: That is "staying at a SAFE distance FROM the water", and Ryo-oh-ki is not afraid of the water, like some sort of cat. >She finaly >decided it was time to get out, she was way >past her usual bed time. PRISS: Six a clock in the morning. Yeah, that’s definitely past her bed time. >After all, she needed to be awake and ready more than a hour sooner than the >rest of the gang to prepare breakfast. She stood up, her eyes closed, feeling the water rolling down her >body. When she opened her eyes, she saw her reflection on the clear water, PETER(Sasami): I’m getting old. Look at all these wrinkles! >she knew that it will be many >years before she can really enter the battle for Tenchi's love. ALL: Thank goodness. >Will he still be available ? AYEKA: Nope. Sorry to have to break that to you. >The young girl >still gazed at her reflected image, she often saw Ryoko naked in the baths, PETER: EVERYONE has often seen Ryoko naked in the baths. >and therefore realise that she >was a long way from womanhood. Her breasts had begun to grow less than a year ago, she raised her >right hand to them, they were still littles PRISS: Really "littles". >but firms, a nice little nipple was pointing on each of them. RANMA: Well, it wouldn’t make any sense if she had ‘toes’ pointing on each of them. >Recently she remarqued PETER: "Remarked". >that her nipples were sometimes feeling hard, more specificaly when Tenchi >was around. PRISS: That girl needs to find a boyfriend. AYEKA: Preferably someone who is NOT Tenchi. >Still looking at her in the water, PETER(Sasami): How’d I get there? >she let her hand go down on her flat smooth stomach, her >waist was thin but not to the point of showings the bones. RANMA(singing): Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones. . . >She finally put both her hands on her waist >and looked at her sex; PRISS: Hopefully female. >a fine line was seperating the two thin layers of skin. Recently she happily noticed >the apparence of a bit of little blue hairs on the low of her belly and on her lips. RANMA(left eyebrow arched): What? PETER: Wrong end, Ranma. >Jurai society being quite >secret about sex, PRISS, RANMA, & PETER(flatly): Except for the S&M. AYEKA(annoyed): And what was THAT supposed to mean? PRISS: Ayeka, you DO realize that you’re still in your S&M outfit, don’t you? AYEKA(embarrassed): It is just that I have not had enough time to change back, to my usual robes. >the only thing she knew is that she started to look like the others girls. Some nights, >when Aeka and her are in their beds, PETER: Futons! You’re sleeping on futons! >she can hear her sister moving under her futton PETER: FUTON!! >while gently >moaning Tenchi's name. Faking being asleep, AYEKA: And who says that I am faking? >Sasami could not help but noticing a strange feeling >betweens her legs, one time she even moved a hand to this spot and found that it was a little wet. PRISS(Sasami): Oh no! I sprung a leak! >From >Ryoko's talking, Sasami knew that a human body can bring great pleasure and it was probably what was >appening to Aeka. RANMA: What’s "appening"? PETER: I don’t know. >While thinking about that, she feeled once again that strange sensation inside of her. PETER(Sasami): Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that burrito for lunch. >Looking around to be sure she was still alone, RANMA: Isn’t Ryo-oh-ki still there? >she carefully moved one finger on her sex, feeling a >curious but pleasant sensation. AYEKA(Sasami as Alice from "Alice in Wonderland"): Curiouser, and curiouser. >It was decided; next time she hear Aeka moaning, she would ask her >some questions. PETER: I DON’T like the way that sounded. PRISS: Feeling of dread, feeling of dread, feeling of dread. . . >More than a week as passed since Sasami's resolution and still nothing had appened. RANMA: Maybe if we knew what "appened" was, then we’d know if it did happen. >Each days Sasami got to bed even earlier than usual, and when her sister, some hours later, finally join >her in their common room she had always faked sleep. (The MST group makes loud snoring noises.) >Nevertheless her big sister simply undressed, get >to bed and fallen asleep. PETER(Sasami as Snively Whiplash): Curses, foiled again! >This evening Sasami took another bath but this time Mihoshi was there too so >Sasami decided to keep her towel on, ALL(bored): Yaaay. >despite the fact that the young galaxy police officer was totaly >naked. AYEKA(Mihoshi): I know that I am forgetting something, but I can not remember what it is. >The little princess really liked Mihoshi, ALL: Uh-oh. >they talked for more than two hours before Sasami had to >get out to prepare supper. During all that time Sasami could not get her eyes out of Mihoshi's breasts; RANMA: Woah! Red alert! Red alert! PRISS: Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! AYEKA: Mayday! Mayday! PETER(robot): Danger, Mihoshi Kuramitsu! Danger! >they were so big that she could not help but feel jealous. She was wondering if they were firms like her's >or if they were as softs as they look like. PETER: This is going FAR beyond the bounds of acceptable matches, for Tenchi Muyo lesbian relationships!!! PRISS: I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what ARE some of the other unacceptable ones? AYEKA: Ryoko and Washu. ALL: Speeew! RANMA: Tokimi and Ryo-oh-ki. ALL: Speeew, and a half!! PETER: Washu, Ryo-oh-ki, Sasami, Yume, and Yuzuha; in a five-way, underage, lesbian romp. AYEKA, PRISS, RANMA, AND EVERY DECENT HUMAN BEING READING THIS MST: GIGA-SPEEEW!!!! PETER: Word. >Two times during the bath the blue haired girl had walked >toward Mihoshi then, volontarily slipped and falled toward Mihoshi, PRISS: Incoming! >her hands attempting to grasp one >of her breasts. The first time she missed completely PETER(Spanish accent): Ole`! >and got nothing more than Mihoshi's concerns. The >second time her fall was more accurate but her hand still missed and she find herself really falling out of >control. RANMA(Sasami): Mayday! Mayday! Oh, wait it’s March. Marchday! Marchday! >She dived completely under water, her head crashing on the concrete, just between the >detective's legs. PRISS: How convenient. >The girl feeled a bump growing on the side of her head but her attention was caught >somewhere else. AYEKA(Sasami): I have fallen, and I can not get up!! >For a second, time seemed to be stoped, PETER: Sounds like Washu is fiddling around with time and space, again. >Sasami was staring directly at Mihoshi's sex. RANMA: I hope she is female as well, otherwise we are watching the wrong type of Fic. >A >great patch of golden hairs were floating slowly in the water like a field of weat under the wind. PRISS: Lets hear it for natural hair color. >In the >middle of that the little princess could see Mihoshi's lips slightly opened by the pressure of water, she >could see the clit pearing a little bit out of his shell, and a little corridor of darkness. PETER: Ah-ha! So Mihoshi IS smuggling clams into the bath!! (The other MST group members stare at him nervously.) What? >The time suddenly >resumed, Sasami could sense Mihoshi's hands coming in the water to help her out into the air. ALL(singing): She flies through the air, with the greatest of ease. . . >One of >the officer's hands landed on Sasami's left shoulder but the other fallen on her right breast, PETER: I’m actually enjoying this scene, and that scares me. (Ranma splashes cold water on himself, turning into a ‘herself’.) RANMA(now female): Now that should do it. (Looks up at the screen.) GAH!! It’s not working!! AYEKA & PRISS(muttering): Perverts. . . >completely >engulfing it in the dark hand. The princess feeled a shock trough her body at this contact and gulped, >losing what air was left in her lungs. AYEKA(Sasami): You know, maybe I should not breath, while under water. >She got her head out of the water, gasping and coughing. When she >finally re-opened her eyes, Mihoshi was looking at her with concerned eyes, asking her if she was >alright. PETER(waterlogged Sasami): Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be dead soon, and this’ll all be over. >Her left hand had moved quickly to the right shoulder of Sasami but the little girl could not >forget the sensation she had nor the arousing vision she saw for a mere second. PRISS(Sasami): It was horrible! >Sasami was in her bed >for more than a hour and she still could not sleep. Under her closed eyes she was reliving the incident at >the baths. AYEKA(Sasami): Why am I having this odd reoccurring dream about Mihoshi? >She could still see Mihoshi's breasts in her mind, PETER(Sasami): Get out of here! This is MY mind! PRISS: Maybe she’s turning into a guy. PETER & RANMA(dangerously): Watch the comments, Priss. PRISS: Yeah, yeah. Big deal. >wishing that she would have been able to >touch them. They seemed so soft. The princess was feeling strange, RANMA: The princess was THINKING strange. >she was about sure she should not >feel this way for a other girl PETER: That’s "another girl", not "a other girl". >but still she desesperately wanted to touch the blonde woman. She was >thinking about her under-water vision PETER: She’s having a wet dream. OTHERS(warningly): Peter, no. >when she heard the door of her room open. She din't move nor >make a sound so her sister would think she's asleep. Aeka closed the door quietly and started to undress >herself. >Sasami could hear the many layers of clothes of her sister fall on the ground, as ever the first >princess would not take care of placing her clothes correctly and would have to ask Sasami tomorrow to >iron them. AYEKA(angrily): I can DO my own laundry, you know!! >Aeka finally get to her bed and then the silence came back. After 2 or 3 minutes Sasami heard >her sister calling her quietly; - Sasami ? Sasami ? PRISS: I thought she called out Tenchi’s name while- (The other MST group members mallet Priss.) *THUNK* *WHAM* *SMASH* Ow. . . . >The little girl din't respond, hoping that something >would append. - PETER: For the last time, what is "append"? Is it bigger than a bread box? >Good, she's asleep. RANMA: Did someone just say that, or something? >Sasami could not repress a little smile on her face. It would seem >that she was right. At first she could not hear anything; mayby Aeka was sleeping. PRISS: "Mayby" not. >Then she heard some >movements under her sister futton. AYEKA: Where IS that extra "t" that I have to remove? I can not find it in this dark. >She tried a quick glance and saw that her sister was on her back, AYEKA: Well, I USUALLY sleep on my back. It is not often that I sleep on my HEAD, now do I? >her >eyes closed, her mouth open and both her arms under the futton. (Peter, Priss, and Ranma make loud snoring noises.) AYEKA(to the other MST group members): That will be enough of that, thank you very much. >The little princess moved her head a >little to get a better view. She could saw a little movement under the futton. PRISS: I can saw that she see it not too well, in this dark. >It would seem that one of >Aeka's hand was moving around her breasts while the other was busy between her legs. Sasami was still >quiet, looking at her sister with a little smile, listening to her breathing incresing in speed, she started to >feel that strange sensation between her legs and moved quietly her right hand to this region. RANMA(Jousenkyo Guide): Mt. Quanjing, Bayankala Range, Qinghai Province, China. Here sirs is legendary ground of accursed spring. >It was a >good idea, she was only touching her pajama, but she could still feel a pleasant sensation. Aeka was still >breathing faster and now both her hands seemed to be between her legs. PETER: But where were they REALLY?!? >Sasami was still looking, she >was a little confused, PRISS(Sasami): Is it push, pull back, and THEN plunge, or is it- AYEKA: Priss, please! Not in front of the, sometimes, men. (Peter and Ranma get large sweatdrops on the back of their heads.) >of course the contact on her sex was feeling good but Aeka looked like having a >really great time. Nearly not consiously, ALL: Huh? >the little princess moved her hand under the pajama and feeled >the soft contact of her panties. A electric shock seemed to pass trough Sasami's body PETER(Pikachu): Pika pi! >and she let go a >little "ah!". At the sound of her sister's voice Aeka abrutly stop her action AYEKA: Do as the author says, self. >and turned her head toward >Sasami. The little princess's eyes were wide open, looking directly at Aeka and a little blush was on her >cheeks. RANMA(Sasami): So, uh. . . . Having fun? >Aeka din't know what to do. PETER: Getting your hands out from between your legs, would be a good start. >Did her sister heard her touching herself ? ALL: Yes. >Did she know what she >was doing ? ALL: Sort of. >What should she say ? ALL(Sasami): What’cha doing, sis? >Why did Sasami moaned ? AYEKA: Because she is growing up. >The two sisters were looking at each other >in the little moonlight. ALL: Uh-oh. PRISS: Feeling of dread, feeling of dread. . . >Finaly Sasami got a good breath and decided to talk. - What were you doing sis ? >- RANMA: What? No quotation marks? >What ? PETER: She asked, (Through megaphone.) "WHAT WERE YOU DOING SIS ?"!!!!!!! >Well.. I.. I was not doing anything. Sasami could not help but let go a little laugh when she saw >how red her sister's face was now. - PRISS: You know, quotation marks usually are NOT something you screw up on, with bad grammar. >You where doing something, your hands were moving under the >futton. - No. I was.. scratching myself that's all. - RANMA(Aeka): In a very special place, that is all I’m saying. AYEKA: Ranma, let ME do my character, from now on. >Come on sis. Tell me what you were doing. I want to >know, please. AYEKA: You pretty much know what it is, already. >Aeka was feeling less and less good. PETER(Aeka): Ugh. Damn burritos. AYEKA(to Peter): What I said to Ranma, applies to you, too. >How would she get out of this mess. PRISS(Aeka): Well, this is another fine mess I’ve gotten myself into. AYEKA: Hello! Am I not speaking loud enough, here!?! >Talking about >sex always make her feel bad. She remembered the first and only time she and a talk about sex with her >mother Misaki. She was 14 and her mother was more open about sex than the average juraian. PETER: I hope it wasn’t by live demonstration. AYEKA: Not quite, but you are getting close. >She told >her about the reproduction side of the sexuality and a little about the "fun" that sex can bring. AYEKA(blushing): Actually, I walked in on my parents and aunt Funaho, going through the FUN part. >But should >she try to explain all that to Sasami now ? RANMA: Only if you want the plot to continue. >She felt really strange. She was about to come when she had >to stop, what should she do ? PRISS: You already stopped. That’s pretty much it. >Sasami was now sitting on her bed still looking at her. AYEKA: Please refrain from staring at me like that. It is embarrassing. >Aeka was still >feeling the moist between her legs and she wanted to touch herself but no RANMA & PETER: Bananas. AYEKA & PRISS: What? PETER: You have your secrets, we have ours. PRISS: You have stupidity. That’s what you have. >. Aeka finnaly get sit on her >bed, keeping the futton over her body, just letting her face out. ALL: GAH!!! Put that back where it belongs!! > - Ok Sasami. What do you think I was >doing ? PETER(Sasami): Thinking of doing what Ryoko wants to do to Tenchi. AYEKA: Peter!! PETER(holding up his hands in the ‘New York’ position): Hey! It’s the truth, right?! Put down the whip! >- You were touching your body. - Why do you think I was doing that. It was Sasami's turn to >blush. She was din't know what to respond. - Because it feel a little.. good ? PRISS: More than a little, girl. >- Why do you say that ? - >Because sometime when I put my hand between my legs it make me feel strange .. and good. RANMA(Sasami as Shampoo): Me like strange feeling. >- I see. It >would seem that your older than I tought. AYEKA(sarcastically): Wonderful! Now I am talking like ‘Tweety Bird’. >I din't see your body for some times now so I can't tell how >much you are developped but ... - PRISS: Oh great! Here it comes! AYEKA: Bring out the bags. (Ranma passes around some paper bags.) PETER: Uh, what are these for? AYEKA: B-ko gave them to us earlier today. They are vomit bags. PETER(looking into his bag): Well, I got jipped! There’s none in here! >But what ? A little smile was on Aeka's face. An idea just came in her >mind. PRISS(idea as the Big Bad Wolf): Open the door! Let me in! Let me in! AYEKA(Little Pig): Not by the hair on my chinny chin-chin!. . . Wait, that was not right. >For some time she was masturbating while thinking about Tenchi. RANMA(sarcastically): No way! AYEKA(Wayne from "Wayne’s World"): Way! >Of course it felt good but surely >not as good as when somebody else touches you. PETER(to the author): They made this same mistake in "A Lemon That Isn’t A Lemon"!!! Don’t let bad history repeat itself!!! >- Do you know how to get pleasure by touching yourself >? PETER: You just have to rub, and then stick your fingers in. AYEKA, PRISS, & RANMA: Wrong! PETER: Ranma? Why are YOU saying that? RANMA(blushing a deep red): Shut up, Peter! Just shut up! >The little princess was blushing even more. - What ? N.. no. - The better way to learn would be for me >to show you how to touch me so you will know how to touch you. ALL: No! No! Nooooo! AYEKA: As flexible as the laws of love on Jurai are, I have to point out that it is immoral to have an underage relationship with your own sister in ANY culture!! >- You... you think so ? - Yes. But we >must keep that for ourself ok ? RANMA: Signs of child molestation, number one; telling her that this will be "Our little secret". >- Ok... What should I do ? Aeka was jubilating. ALL: "jubilating"? >She get a glance at the >door and get the futton off her. AYEKA: There, now that I have those. >She was wearing a pajama too. PRISS: As opposed to wearing her giant, thermal, snow coat. >She started to unbutton her top, step by >step the top opened a little more. The princess keep the top on her but it was open enough to see that she >was not wearing a bra at night. AYEKA: Who in the world would want to wear a bra to bed, anyway? >Then, still being sit, RANMA: I thought she was Ayeka? >she removed the pants of her pajama. Now Sasami >could see a little of her sister's breast and a white pair of panties. PETER(Sasami): Sis, why are you wearing your panties on your chest? >- Come here Sasami. RANMA(wincing): Oy, that pun hurt. PETER: Get this, that wasn’t even a pun. OTHERS: Ouch. >The little princess >came near her sister. PRISS(Sasami): Okay, now you said I’d be able to do this to myself, right? PETER(to Priss): Don’t steal my lines!!! RANMA: Shortest lemon scene I’ve ever seen. >When she was close enough, Aeka took Sasami's left hand and put it on her legs, >then, still keeping control of the little girl hand she made it slide up to the top of her panties. PETER(Twister announcer): Left hand pink. Now left hand white. >- I will >teach you how to give me pleasure. PRISS: Please don’t! We’ve still got our sanity. AYEKA: Please wait until we finally loose our sanity (Glances at Peter.), completely before you do such things. PETER: Was I just insulted? (The other MST group members stay silent.) Well? Was I? >Then the first princess get herself on her back, stil keeping Sasami's >hand on her underware. RANMA: Under what? PRISS: No, underwear! PETER: Under where? AYEKA: Exactly. >She get her legs appart and started rubbing her sister's hand between her legs. (Peter starts making a car waxing, rubbing noise.) >Then she let the hand go and PRISS: It flew right across the room! >Sasami keeped the rythm rubbing and rubbing her hand on her sister. Aeka >was moaning with pleasure, that was really something else. AYEKA: This entire scene is something else. >Sasami started to like this, it was obvious >that Aeka was having fun and the girl was happy. AYEKA(deadpan singing): Happy-happy, joy-joy. Happy-happy, joy-joy. . . . >Then Aeka's hand came RANMA(left eyebrow arching): What the hey? AYEKA: My hand can NOT do that, Ranma. RANMA: Thank goodness. For a moment there, I thought you were more alien than I ever realized. >once again over her's. She >removed the hand off her body then let go off it PRISS: And it flew right across the room! PETER(to Priss): You already did that joke. >. Sasami looked at her sister with surprise and all she saw >was a great smile on Aeka's face. PETER: You’re on ‘Candid Camera’!! RANMA: So THAT’S how come we’re seeing this. >She looked back at her sister undies and saw that Aeka was removing >them. PETER(Sasami): Hey! I was watching that!! >A thin layer of purple hairs was showing under the little light. AYEKA(standing up): Peter! Bullhorn!! PETER(tossing over the megaphone): Catch! AYEKA(catches the megaphone, and starts yelling through it): I SHAVE THAT SPOT EVERY SUNDAY, YOU BRAINLESS BABOON OF AN AUTHOR!!!!!!! (Tosses the megaphone back to Peter.) Thank you, Peter. I needed to point that out. PETER(nearly misses catching the megaphone): No problem. >- Again Sasami. Please. Sasami >blushed once again but put her hands back where they were a moment ago. RANMA, PRISS, & PETER(singing): You put both hands in, you put both hands out, you put both hands back. . . AYEKA(angrily to the other MST group members): It is not YOU and your younger sibling, that this is happening to!!! >The sensation was quite >different. She was still rubbing her fingers on her sister's sex but now she was able to really feel the heat >and the moisture. PRISS(Sasami): Ayeka, I think you sprung a leak! >The little girl was not able to look away from the purple patch, RANMA: Is that anything like ‘Cabbage Patch’? AYEKA: Ranma, please refrain from making this any more worse than it already is. PETER(to Ayeka): Well, you have to admit. The scene isn’t QUITE as bad, as some of the stuff we’ve been seeing today. >still rubbing and >rubbing PRISS: And rubbing, and rubbing, and rubbing, and rubbing, and rubbing, and- AYEKA(dangerously): Priss. . . PRISS: Okay, I’m shutting up now. See? >. Aeka was really enjoying all this. AYEKA(unhappily): THAT is a matter of opinion. >She keep moaning and shivering with pleasure. - That's good >Sasami. Now look what I want you to do. PETER: Got it. Bring Tenchi in here, and have him start doing what I was just doing, while I watch. AYEKA: . . . . . . . I am not sure if I like THAT idea, or not. >Aeka gently removed her sister's hand and put her's between >her legs. She rubbed herself 2 or 3 times and then put a finger inside of her. A shock passed trough her >body at the contact. PETER(Pikachu): Pi- AYEKA(shouting at Peter): Stop it with that joke, already!!! PETER(large sweatdrop): -ka? >She then put a other finger and started pulling them out then putting them in again >and again. RANMA & PRISS(singing): You put your fingers in, you pull your fingers out, you. . . >- You get it Sasami ? RANMA(Sasami): Uh. . .no? >I want you to do this. Do it softly but quickly. Never completely remove >your fingers ok ? PETER(writing in a notepad): Got it! (Priss grabs the notepad from Peter, and tosses it away.) >Sasami was amazed by the situation. She would never tought of putting anything inside >that. PRISS: Well think again, incest for brains. AYEKA(jumps in front of Priss, and grabs her by the throat): Do not EVER call Sasami that, understand!?! PRISS(being choked): Gack! >But then she decided to complied. She put one finger at the entrance of her sister's sex and then >started pushing. RANMA: And Ayeka fell right off of the bed. >It was now very wet, PETER(robot): Are you aware that you are leaking coolant, at an alarming rate? >she could feel the muscle of Aeka's vagina contracting at the >contact of the finger. PRISS(rubbing her neck): There’s more than one muscle in there, you know. >She keep pushing until all her finger was inside. RANMA(Shampoo): Aiyah! Is deep, no? >Her sister was arching her back >with pleasure. - Like this ? - PETER(Aeka): No! Like this! Oh, you’re doing it all wrong! Move them, already! >Oh yes Sasami, that's... that's just perfect. RANMA: Ha-ha! Peter was wrong! PETER(dignified): I was just doing it for the joke. >Keep it going, faster. Sasami was >moving her finger in and out of her sister, accelerating more and more with the acceleration of her >sister's breathing. PRISS(singing): Get your motor running. . . >- Put a other finger too please. PETER(Aeka): And put an "n" in between the "a" and "o" in "a other" while you’re at it. >Now there was 2 finger inside of Aeka. AYEKA: But unfortunately, Sasami lost the "s" at the end of the word "fingers". >Sasami could >now feel more and more heat coming from between her own legs but keep fingering her sister. PRISS(to the author): Don’t tell poor Sasami what to do! Let her do what SHE wants! >More and >more juice was dropping on the bed. RANMA(Sasami): Sis, why are there cartons of juice dropping on the bed? >Aeka was on the verge of the greater orgasm she never had. AYEKA: "never had"? Why do these sentences make no sense?!? >- Stop >Sasami. PETER(Sasami): What!? First you want me to finger you, then you don’t want me to finger you. Make up your mind, for crying out loud!!! >The little girl put her hand off her sister and looked at her happily. - Why do you want me to >stop sis ? AYEKA: This lemon scene is getting too disgusting. I am leaving. >- I want you to do one last thing. You may find that curious, or even disgusting ALL: . . . . . . . AYEKA: Hey, I was only kidding!! Do not do EVERYTHING that I say!!! >but you must >do it to learn ok ? - Hu, ok. What is it ? Aeka put back her hand on her sex and opened her own lips, >showing a very extented clit. - You see this ? PRISS(Sasami): You’re right, that is disgusting! I’m leaving. >This is what is making a girl feel good. PETER: That’s it? There’s nothing else? Nothing to do with the breasts, or anything? OTHERS(hands covering faces): Give it a rest, Peter. >I want you to lick >it. RANMA(getting up): Well, I’m going home now. That’s enough for me. OTHERS: Sit back down, Ranma!!! RANMA(sitting back down): Okay, okay. Geez. >- What ? PETER(pulling out megaphone): She said, (As Peter puts the megaphone in front of his face, Priss backhands it.) L-*MRPH!!* >Lick it ? With my tongue you mean ? PRISS: No, with your elbow. Of course with your tongue!! >- Yes please. - But, but, pee is coming from there. >Yuck ! PETER(megaphone stuck in his mouth): HOU AERE OO HETT HE HEAD, HAIEHA!!!!!!! AYEKA: Priss, please remove that contraption from his mouth. (Priss pulls the megaphone from Peter’s mouth.) *pock* PETER(rubbing his jaw): Thanks. . . I guess. >- There's no pee now. PETER: Lest this become a ‘golden shower’ scene. OTHERS: Peter!! PETER: Hey, let’s face the facts here. There is no way that could make this scene any worse. RANMA: I guess he’s got a point. AYEKA(to Ranma): In YOUR opinion. >Please. At least try it. - Geez. Ok I will but... Aeka was spreading her legs >appart while Sasami was lying in front of her vagina. The girl was looking at her sister's sex, RANMA: Yup. She’s a girl. >it looked >like Mihoshi's but for the color of the hairs. AYEKA(sarcastically): Gee. Thanks. You are all heart. >Aeka was using 2 of her fingers to open her vagina so that >Sasami could perfectly see her clit. PRISS: And what were the other three fingers doing? PETER: Twittering their cuticles. >All this area was now soaking in juice, RANMA: Orange, or grape? >a sight that Sasami was not >really liking. Finaly she taken a good breath, closed her eyes and started licking. Aeka nearly faint at the >sensation. There was a first stroke of tongue, then after a second another and another, speeding and >speeding up. RANMA(blandly): Faster Sasami. Lick, Li- (Hit over the head by Ayeka.) *WHUD!* Ow. . . >At first Sasami found the taste strange but after a couple of licks she enjoyed the taste and >wanted more and more. PETER(Sasami): Mmmm. Tastes like chicken! >Her tongue was going quicker and quicker while Aeka was having difficulties >not to scream with pleasure. AYEKA: Or with complete disgust, about what was happening. Either way, it was tough not to scream. >Needing to get more of this juice, RANMA: But is it cranberry, or apple? >Sasami decided to put her whole mouth >on her sister's sex and started sucking the whole area. Aeka was feeling the electricity moving trough >her, AYEKA, PRISS, & RANMA(to Peter): NO MORE PIKACHU JOKES!!! PETER: You guys are no fun at all. >she was shacking and to keep herself from screaming she was bitting her pillow. Then the final >touch came, still sucking, Sasami get the idea of putting back her fingers inside her sister. PETER(writing down on a notepad): Got it. Suck the entire vaginal area, and then put fingers in while still sucking. PRISS: Didn’t I just throw that thing away? PETER(putting the notepad into his pocket): I had a spare. >Aeka's breath >stopped PRISS(Stan): Oh my god! Sasami killed Ayeka!! RANMA(Kyle): You bastard!!! >for a second AYEKA: Thank goodness. >as she put both her hands of Sasami's head and pushing it toward her sex with all >her streght. PETER: Whatever "streght" is. >Sasami was feeling the quick contractions inside her sister, there was so much juice that she >could't drink it all. RANMA: Tell me, is it raspberry, or grapefruit? I must know the answer. >She was about to suffocate when the pressure of Aeka's hands on her head finally stop >and she pulled her head out gasping for air. PRISS(Sasami): Geez Ayeka! What are you trying to do, drown me!?! >The little girl was very happy. She looked at her sister. - >Now what sis ? You will give me fun too ? Sis ? Sis ? PETER(Sasami): Hello? Is this thing on? Sis? Hello? >The first princess was on her back, her eyes closed, >a smile on her face. - Sis ? Did you fall asleep ? Sis ? Hey wake up. PRISS: It’s supposed to be MEN who fall asleep after sex, dumbass! PETER, RANMA, & AYEKA(Ayeka for different reasons): PRISS!!! >Sasami was pushing Aeka to wake >her up but all the big sister did was saying "Tenchi, oh Tenchi AYEKA: my Tenchi. >" over and over. - Damn sis. That's not >fair. The little girl finally get back to her bed and started sleeping. She was so angry that she din't >noticed that she putted her hand inside her panties. PETER: Golf, anyone? OTHERS: Not funny. >I hope you liked this. ALL: Not really. >I plan to write the 4 others >parts in a near futur. AYEKA: Spirits have mercy upon our souls. RANMA: What’s "futur"? B-KO(from the control booth): Okay guys. That was the last one. MST GROUP: HOORAY!!!!! B-KO: We can all go home now. MST GROUP: DOUBLE HOORAY!!!!! (The MST group rushes out of the theater. B-ko leaves the control booth, turning off the light when she leaves. But in the shadows, a dark stranger appears. Cast in dark robes, and carrying a staff of some kind, he looks neither formidable, nor weak. Just someone with a odd purpose.) STRANGER(cheerful smile): So you think you can just get away with doing only the good Fan Fiction stories, eh? Well, that just is not going to happen. I’ll see to it that it doesn’t. And how will I do that? Well, THAT is a secret. ^_^ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------- There is not group assessment, this time around. The MST group is just glad that this is finally over with. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------- AUTHOR’S NOTES: AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!!!!!! It’s over! It’s finally over!! This is going to be my last MST for awhile, so I hope this makes up for all the complaints you viewers had about the other MST’s I did. Right now, I’m working off and on with the sequel to "Ruby Red, Cat Like, Eyes", AND I’m planning to branch off into Fan Fiction for other Anime series (Mostly Pokemon, and Ranma ½). I’m also planning on working on a few ‘What-If’ style stories for "Tenchi Muyo", making alternate worlds of the OAV series. That’s it for right now. I’ve got schoolwork to do. Bye-bonds, everybody! Peter Suzuki.