A long time ago, in a vast multiverse of Anime far away..... (Star Wars Theme starts up) Scimitar's Voice: OOKAMI RECCA HA!! *BLAST!* Priss' Voice: Aw, hell no! *RATTATATATATATATATATATATA!* Nevermind...... Somewhere in the vastness of the multiverse, there is a certain focal point of the worlds. A place where our reality and those of our favorite comic books meet, and are able to cross. Where worlds collide, some good, others bad. FANFICTION. Two men, one a goofy college student, the other an SI incarnation of a teenager, have dedicated themselves to MSTing these horrible stories. The goofball was Peter Suzuki, and he worked with Ranma Saotome, Priss Asagiri, Ayeka Jurai, Rachel T. Mecha (Ratchet), and B-ko Daitokuji. They worked aboard the spacestation AnimePort #9. The teenager was codenamed Ksawarrior. He served with Scimitar Tenshin, Rei Ayanami, Ryoga Hibiki, Lime, Xelloss Metallium, Filia Ul Copt, and Wasabi Qutami, on the spaceship Thunderclap 8, AKA The Turtlecraft. Also in this vast multiverse, there is an author, born of pure idiocy, evil, and perversity. He carries with him an urge to disgust, and an ability to do so, through lemons. He is Tank Cop. His stories are known for their horrible grammar, bad characterization, and for just being plain sick. Both MST groups have faced his work before. But now, when his fiction multiplying, only together can they stop it. AnimePort #9/Ksa and the MSTers Crossover Special #1: Tank Cop Space is quiet. A little too quiet at times. Strangely, for a place where there isn't sound, a noise similar to Kid Rock's "Bawiddabawng" was playing. A small alien on an asteroid looked up...... The suspense is killing you, isn't it? ....... only to nearly have its head knocked off by a large turtle going faster than the speed of light. "/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\!!!" Said the alien's head. There could be a translation for this, but it would violate censorship laws. Anyway, the music was originating from the turtle shaped ship. The craft was going faster than usual, mostly because the Ksawarrior was pulling it, while flying as a Super Saiya-jin/Juraian. On top of the Turtlecraft's head, Scimitar Tenshin was wearing a spacesuit, and holding on to what appeared to be a large fishing rod. The rope from the rod was tied around Ksa's waist. "You guys sure about this?" he asked through the communicator in his helmet. On the bridge of the Turtlecraft, Wasabi Qutami responded. "Yes, we're sure. The transmissions from Dr. Wheelo are coming from this direction." "He's quite determined when he wants to be, isn't he?" Filia Ul Copt asked as she drank her tea, regarding Ksa. "Whenever Lime's involved, he can be." Rei Ayanami responded. She sat in the captain's chair in Ksa's absence. "He's going to tear the ship apart at this rate!" Ryoga yelled. "Why don't we just use our normal thrust-*SPLASH!* UWEEEEEE!!" The little black pig bounced around, rather upset at its situation. "Because," Xelloss responded cheerfully, dropping the bucket of cold water, "we save fuel this way." Wasabi suddenly gulped. "Something wrong?" Rei asked. Wasabi showed her where they were heading. If it was ever possible, Rei became more pale than before. "Scimitar, reel him in!" Filia and Ryoga (who was holding a tea kettle at the time) began yelling. "Why?" the half-god asked. "Let's just say that you're about to make the wrong impression on B-ko again if you don't." Rei stated. "Wait, I got a better idea." he responded. He let go of the rod, then slid down until he was in front of the Turtlecraft's face. "OOKAMI RECCA HA!" he yelled, as he fired his ki blast to slow them down. "We've reached a safe speed." Xelloss announced. "What about Ksa?" Filia asked. "Oh, was I supposed to include him in the equation?" Xelloss asked, still smiling. When they arrived at the giant clam that was AnimePort #9, they noticed a rather human-shaped hole that was made in its side. After docking, the doors opened to reveal Ayeka Jurai glaring at them. Ranma Saotome, Priss Asagiri, and B-ko Daitokuji were standing behind her, looking slightly distressed. "Eeeeep." Scimitar stated. "We appreciate the visit," the Juraian princess sighed, "but we are rather tired of you denting something in the process." "My bad." Scimitar decided to add. "Where's Peter?" Rei asked. "The better question would be, 'Where's Ksa?'" Filia said. "Peter's probably saved the idiot by now." Priss answered. "From what?" Ryoga asked. The Anime Port crew sighed, then said one word. "Ratchet." Just then, Ratchet walked in, wearing only a towel. And like clockwork... "GAAH!" Ryoga yelled as he covered his nose. "Rei," Scimitar said simply, "we've met your match for paleness." Rei promptly elbowed Scimitar, while still keeping a straight face. "I didn't know that it was an accident! He should have said something!" Ratchet yelled. Behind her Peter Suzuki, the other leader in this rather large gathering, was dragging a rather badly beaten Ksawarrior to the lounge. "I think when he was yelling, 'I'm sorry, I never wanted to see a chest that flat' over and over again, he was saying it was an accident." Peter said, after dropping Ksa. Scimitar ran over to Ksa. "Ksa, how many fingers do you see?" he asked, holding up three digits. "Who's that Saiya-jin hanging upside-down? It's me, it's me." Ksawarrior said rather oddly. "He's okay." Rei said. "Or a reasonable facsimile of being okay." Said Ayeka. "What happened, anyway?" asked Wasabi. "He flew into the bathroom, while I was waxing myself!" explained Ratchet. "I never realized you could grow leg hair, let alone need it to be removed." Said Rei. Ratchet pulled out a can of 'Turtle Wax' out of nowhere, and said. "You mean this stuff removes leg hair, too?" "Anyhow!" interrupted Peter. "I know when you left here the last time, we said you could come over for a visit anytime you wished, but we were hoping you'd use the door this time. Now what are you doing all the way out here, anyway?" "We could ask you the same thing." Said Ksawarrior, getting up off of the ground. "Isn't this place supposed to be in the reality nexus?" "Well, normally we are." Said Peter. "But that was before the class C alert." "Class C?" asked Ksa's group. "I'll explain." Said B-ko, going into her 'Beautiful Female Professor' mode. "The alert classes are classified by the letters A, B, and C. A is a combat alert, for when a physical entity is trying to destroy the station itself. B is for a direct send of a bad fan fiction, such as the incident with our ninth MST. And a class C alert is when there is a constant source of bad fan fiction being broadcast from a single source, and the Anime Port is sent to quiet the problem, with us as the first line of defense. Any questions so far?" Ksawarrior and his friends were seated at classroom style desks. Scimitar raised his hand. "Yes, teacher. May I look up your dress?" *KA-WHUD!!!* A large anvil dropped from the ceiling, and flattened Scimitar. "Anyone else?" asked B-ko. The rest of Ksawarrior's group shook their heads 'no'. "Good. Peter, will you please read the notice?" "Why soitenly!" said Peter, as he took a scroll out of his jacket pocket. "At the point of late April, the year 2000, AD, a large quantity of Tank Cop lemon fan fiction was discovered somewhere in sector N of the interplanetary null zone. In response to this growing threat to the fan space continuum, the heads of the MIB, the holy council of Jurai, the Galaxy Police, and certain parties in the sponsor council of the Anime Port, have hereby decreed a class C alert. The fan fiction research team of port nine of the Anime Port is now assigned to locate the source of the Tank Cop hoarding, and either kill the parties responsible, or issue them a cease and desist letter, whichever is deemed appropriate for the situation." "I vote kill!" said Priss, holding her B.A.R. gun at the ready. "Okay, that explains why we're here." Said Peter, putting the scroll back into his jacket. "Now why are you here?" "Well," said Ksawarrior. "As you may have heard, one of my favorite crew members was kidnapped not to long ago." "Yeah, Lime from 'Saber Marionette J'. My condolences on what happened." Said Peter. "Thanks. We've traced the scumbag who kidnapped her to here, by his transmissions. When we find him, I'LL RIP HIS SPINAL CORD FROM HIS CER-" "WOAH! Hey! Calm down, Ksa!" said Peter, being lifted off the ground by Ksawarrior's hand. "Friend, Ksa! Friend!!" "Oh, sorry about that." Said Ksawarrior, as he set Peter, down. "Okay, from the sound of things we're probably after the same guy." "Right." Said Peter. "And lucky for you, we've been working out a plan to find this jerk. We figure by riffing one of his fics, and thereby draining it from his archive, we'll gain his attention, and get him to reveal his location." "Hey, that sounds like it might actually work!" said Ksawarrior. Ayeka, Priss, and Ranma all stared at each other with confused looks on their faces. "Hey, how come WE weren't told about this plan of yours?" asked Ranma. "Because we just came up with it a few minutes ago." Said B-ko. "Sounds like a good plan." Said Ksawarrior. "Let's use the theater on the Turtlecraft for it." "Um, forgive me for asking, but why not use the theater we already have on the station?" asked Ayeka. "Uh, because I accidentally, um, flooded it when I tossed Ksa through the bathroom wall." Said Ratchet, embarrassed. "Oh no!" exclaimed B-ko. "Please tell me it wasn't through the septic tank in the wall!!" B-ko dashed into the theater. Ratchet winced at the mention of the septic tank. "I was wondering why I smelled '2000 Flushes'." Said Ryoga, edging away from Ksawarrior. "In more ways than one." Said Filia, holding her nose. "Deodorant?" asked Peter, pulling an industrial strength bottle of 'Anti- Skunk' odor remover out of his jacket. "Yes, thank you." Said Ksawarrior, as he took the spray bottle, unscrewed the cap, and dumped the entire contents over his head. B-ko's scream was heard from inside the theater. *RAAAAAAAAAAAATCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET NOOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!* "Oh look, there's the fan fic sign!" said Ratchet, pushing everyone toward the Turtlecraft. "Let's get going!" "I don't know." Said Scimitar. "I'd kinda like to see how this turns out." "NOW!" said Ratchet, dragging Scimitar behind her by his ear. "OW! OW! OW! Cut it out! I'm moving! I'm moving!!" said Scimitar, as he was dragged along. B-ko exited a moment later, muttering something about "Vacuum attachments" and "Making her clean it up herself". (The MST group enters the theater, and takes their seats.) AYEKA: I do NOT have a good feeling about this. PRISS: What's the worst he can do to us?! He's already bombarded us with bad spelling, poorly written sentences, and the worst Sasami lemon we've ever seen! How could he make something worse?!? KSA(solemnly): Ask, and ye shall recieve. >A Digimon lemon. ALL(staring horrified up at the screen): . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PRISS: Everyone . . . The next time I say something like that, please stop me . . . OTHERS: Okay, Priss. We will. PRISS: Thank you. KSA: Told ya. >Waring: RANMA: So a war is going on? PETER: Probably about Tank Cop's fics. SCIMITAR: Or his actors decided to revolt. FILIA: About time. >This story involves the very graphic rape, torture, and group sex with a >minor. ALL(meekly): help. >If you are offended by this in anyway ALL: WE'RE OFFENDED!!!! >then please read no further. PRISS: If only we could. >You have been warned. AYEKA: At least he is not telling us that we "have to learn, sometime". XEL: I'll say. And Filia says I'm a bad influence on Val. FILIA: You are. (hits him with the mace) RYOGA: They do remind me of Ranma and Akane. >by Tank Cop PETER: May you get thumbtacks caught in your underwear! KSA: And teleported in the firing range of Gundam Wing Zero! >Mimi's Nightmare RATCHET: Soon to be OUR nightmare. REI: Amen, sister. Amen. >------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- >------ >This takes place when all the digidestions have reunited. RANMA: Who? PETER: I think he means the eight kids. RANMA: Oh. SCIMITAR: Either that, or he's self-inserting. KSA: GAH! Don't say that! >------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- >------ >All the kids were having a good time telling each other about there >adventures in Mile Island. AYEKA: I thought they were on FILE Island. RATCHET: Tank Cop's not paying attention to the series. This is a bad thing. KSA: Actually, it'd be a lot worse if he did pay attention. That'd mean he actually watches the show, and has disgraced it. >Then Sora said, "Dinners ready," and then everyone rushed to eat. SCIMITAR: I thought that Joe was the one who cooked. KSA:(Tank Cop) Details? BAH! I'll rewrite it. >They all dined on fish, grapes, appels and other kinds of food they could >find in the area. PRISS: Phone booths, trolley cars, telephone poles . . . RANMA: And eggs! Don't forget the eggs! >But Mimi was >eating something that no one else was. PETER(Tai): Where's Agumon? RATCHET(Mimi): *burp!* Uh-Who's Agumon? >She was eating some mushrooms she had found in a field. PRISS(Mimi, stoned): The colors . . . . . . >No one liked them but here. AYEKA: And why did they like them here, instead of any place else? PETER: For the same reason people like cheese from California, more than any place else. RANMA: Amen. XEL: I shall not eat them over there. I rather like them over here! FILIA: You read Dr. Suess? XEL: Not really. I lost a bet with Scimitar, and had to read it. >Joe noticed Mimi eating them and got scared! PETER(Joe): GET BACK!! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!! RATCHET(ditto): GET IN CLOSER!! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!! (The other group members glare at both of them.) SCIMITAR: Why would he be scared anyway? RYOGA:(reading a tree) "Tank Cop was here"? I think THAT'S why! >"Mimi stop eating those now!" >Joe ran up and took the bowl away from Mimi. >Mimi was very pissed off. PRISS(Mimi): Fine then! I'll just go lick toads! >"Give it back Joe." >Joe was not going to do that. "Mimi these could give you nightmare or be >poison!" RANMA(announcer): The part of Joe, shall be played today by Shampoo. RYOGA(ditto): As well as Sora, Tai, Matt, T.K., Izzy, etc. >Mimi looked as if she might start laughting! PETER: Oh . . . And what's "laughting"? >"No way Joe, these will not give me nightmares and poison, >HA! If they were poison I would be dead now. Seeing as I have been eating >them for over a week now, >and as you can see I'm just fine. Now give them back to me." AYEKA(announcer): And the part of Mimi, shall be portrayed by Mojo Jojo. FILIA(ditto): As well as many action scenes, in this story. >Joe was still not sure. "Well ok, here's your mushrooms back." Joe hands the >bowl back to Mimi. "But don't get mad if you start to have bad nightmares >Mimi." PRISS: As if there were such a thing as GOOD nightmares. XEL: Actually... OTHERS(glaring at him): -_-x XEL: Never mind. ^_^;; >Mimi was not impressed with what Joe siad. RATCHET: But what about what Joe "said"? >"Oh please!" So she finished the whole bowl. PETER(Joe): Uh, we're going to need that! It's camping gear! Oh, never mind . . . >------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- >------------------ >Later that night the kids went to sleep and had nice dreams. The same can't >be said for Mimi, who was >rolling back and forth in her sleeping bag. Having one hell of a nightmare. RATCHET(Mimi, having one hell of a nightmare): No . . . I don't want to be in a Tank Cop lemon . . . SCIMITAR: Does anyone? REI: I never wanted to, but he did anyway. (gets a pat on the shoulder from Ksawarrior) >------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- >------------------ >Mimi was dreming ALL: What's "dreming"? >that Ogermon is after her. "HELP ME! SOMEONE, ANYONE, HELP ME!" PRISS(Mimi): I'VE BEEN HAVING THE SAME NIGHTMARE FOR OVER A WEEK NOW! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?! >Then Mimi saw her Digimon, Palmon yelling at her. AYEKA(Palmon, yelling): YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE EATEN THOSE MUSHROOMS!! >"MIMI OVER HERE. YOU'LL BE SAFE IN THIS CAVE. HURRY UP." RANMA: I think T.C. forgot how to type an exclamation mark. PRISS: Just wait until the lemon scene. >Mimi runs into the cave. PETER(Mimi): *WHUMP!* OW! >Then Palmon using her vine attack, grabs some rocks on top of the cave and >brings them down, keeping Ogermon out, but trapping Mimi inside. >Mimi was scared that it was to dark in the cave. AYEKA(Mimi): I think it may be too dark in this cave. RATCHET(Palmon): Who said that!? >Then she saw a blast of fire, then she saw a flaming torch walking towards >her. ALL(chanting): Burn the witch . . . Burn the witch . . . We shall cleanse the Earth with fire . . . >It was Agumon. With a torch to keep Mimi warm and safe. Agumon walks >over to Palmon. "Are you ok? We were worried that you won't be able to get >her in here." PRISS(Mimi, annoyed): Oh, don't worry about me. I'm just fine! >Palmon just smiled. "No need to worry Agumon I got her here now we can >proceed with the paln. KSA(Agumon): Okay . . . What's a "paln"? >Is everyone here?" Agumon shock his head. PETER(Pikachu): PIKA-CHUUUU!!! >"No Tentamon, RATCHET: Who's "Tentamon"? REI: The warped cousin of "Tentomon". RATCHET: So he digivolves into Kuwagamon? >Gatomon, and Biyomon didn't get here in >time, SCIMITAR: They will be known as "the lucky ones" from now on. >but everyone else is here." Palmon shurigged. RANMA: How do you "shurigg"? OTHERS: No idea. >"Well they we can't wait for them, so they will just >have to miss out. Well lets get going." >As they walked threw the cave PRISS(football player): Go long! (Peter pretends to fall of a cliff.) PETER(falling): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . . . . . . PRISS(football player): Oops. >Mimi was wondering what they meant by, got her to come? >Then they reached there destination, Mimi saw that the rest of the Digimon >were there. Ptamon, PETER: Who? >Gabumon, and Gomamon. Then Agumon and Palmon took >Mimi by the hands and led >her to a small room in the cave where there were four lit torches on ether >side of the room. >There was also a flat, long stone on the round that looked like a bed! AYEKA: Uh-oh, there is the exclamation mark. KSA(whipping out a shinto ward): GET READY! >Mimi was tired of not knowing. "Allright, what's going on here?" Mimi >demanded. PETER(Gekomon): Well prinshess, you're in thish lemon shene. >Agumon gave her an answer. "Were all going to fuck you Mimi, whether you like >it or not!" >Mimi nearly went into shock! RATCHET('Pokemon Stadium' announcer): The move failed! >"I won't let you even touch me. So there's no way in hell that you will get >my clothes off let alone have sex with me!" >Al the Digimon shock there heads. RANMA: A Digimon named "Al"? FILIA: Is his special attack, "Hands in pants Blaster"? PRISS: Let's take off his mask, and see who he really is! AYEKA, KSA, RATCHET, REI, RYOGA, SCIMITAR, & XEL(doing the "Who's that Pokemon!?" eyecatch): IT'S PIKACHU!!! PETER(Pikachu as an old man): And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling Digimon, and your darn kid!! >Palmon walks over to Mimi. "Mimi dear, we don't need to take your >clothes off, because your on even wearing any!" >Mimi looked down at her body and see that Palmon is right she is completely >naked! PRISS: Oh, come on! We all know she's a ditz, but she's not THAT stupid! KSA: I dunno, she can be at times. (A voice yells out "Flower cannon!" and Ksawarrior is blasted into the ground) All: O_O;; (Ksawarrior gets up, looking like hell and smelling like roses, and sits back down in his seat.) KSA: Let's pretend that never happened, okay? OTHERS: Right. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Mimi screams and trys to cover herself. >Then Palmon shot her vines for her right hand out and grabs Mimi in a tight >hold. ALL: Huh? What? Where? When? How? >Mimi falls on the stone >bed and struggles to get free, but with no success. "LET ME GO!" Mimi >screams. >Then the Digimon have a little meeting. "Well we have to decied who fucks >what? PETER(Digimon): Are you sure about that? >So to be fare we will >have a drawing to see who gets to fuck what." Agumon said. >The others had no problem with that. AYEKA(Mimi): Uh, excuse me! _I_ have a problem with that! REI: As do we. >So Agumon takes Mimi's hat and ripes some paper, RANMA(Agumon): Paper! Get your nice ripe paper, here! >writes a sexual place of Mimi's body on each piece. PETER(Agumon): Hey Gabumon, is 'earlobe' a sexual place? RANMA(Gabumon): What's a sexual place? RATCHET(Palmon): What's an earlobe? XEL: That, is a secret. (Hit by Filia.) *WHAM!* . . . Ow . . . >Then he dropped them in the hat and shacks the hat around. PRISS: The first person to even hum "Love Shack" dies. SCIMITAR: Damn. >Then each Digimon took a turn. >Patamon took the first pick. "Damn, I got her right breast. I wanted her >pussy." AYEKA: Suddenly, I feel sorry for little TK. >Mimi was shocked that they were going to rape her and they just acted like it >was a big game! ALL: WHEEL! . . . . OF!! . . . MIMI!!! >Then it was Gomamon's turn. "Please let it be her butt." He takes out the >paper. "Darn it, I got her left breast. Oh well." >Then it was Palmon's turn. Using her free hand she reached in. RATCHET(Palmon): Come on boxcars! >"Well I got her mouth. Lucky me." >Mimi was to scared to even move, now! She started to cry. >Then it was Gabumon's turn. He looked at the paper and he got the biggest >smile on his face. "YAHOO! ALL: GEOCITIES! >I got her pussy!" (Ranma nervously looks around, for any sign of a cat. This is a Tank Cop lemon. You never know.) >Mimi just went all white when she heard that. >And lastly it was Agumon's turn. He got the second best prize? PETER(to Tank Cop): You mean YOU don't even know!? KSA: Be afraid. Be VERY, VERY afraid! >"Looks like I'll be going to fuck Mimi for behind, AYEKA(Mimi): You are going to rape me under contract!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? >I got her butt!" >Mimi was now using the last of her strength to make a last desperate attempt >to break free for Palmon. It was no good. >Then Palmon told them how they were going to rape her. PRISS(Palmon): In whatever way nauseates the audience the most. >"All right guys. Here's what we're going to do. >We will fuck her in the same order that we did the drawing. So Patamon goes >first then after five minutes Gomamon can go and so on." >They were all ok with that. AYEKA(Mimi): I beg to differ. RYOGA: So do we. >Then Patamon walks over to Mimi and is about ready to begin raping her. >Mimi with tears in her eye's try's one last time and begs for them not to do >this. "Please don't. I haven't done anything!" ALL: Neither have we! >Patamon answers her. "Oh you will do something soon Mimi, you will make this >good for me or I will hurt you! PETER: Let's see . . . Missing quotation mark, Patamon out of character . . . Yup, it's a Tank Cop lemon. >Then Palmon shots out the rest of her vines from her other hand and gets >Mimi's body into position. RANMA: Assume the position! (The MST groups take out their vomit bags, and place them just under their mouths.) >Her >arms are stretched out and her legs are spread out as far as they can go! >Making sure that Mimi has >little to no movement. So she won't spoil there fun. PRISS(sarcastically): Thank you Mojo Jojo, for clearing that up. >The Patamon took his turn. He walks up and licked Mimi's right breast! >Mimi's body shivered with fear and excitment as Patamon licked all over >Mimi's breast. Then after a minute Patamon got bored and AYEKA: left. >moved to sucking on her breast. AYEKA: Rats. >He sucked hard! RATCHET: Just like this fic! >Moving >his tongue around the whole time. Then after another minute he got really >mean. PETER: He started demanding her lunch money, and everything! KSA: The big jerk! >Patamon bites down >on Mimi's nipple wit all he's got! RANMA: Wit all his what? >Mimi was horrified! "NO PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!" ALL: We agree! >"I told you not to give me any trouble Mimi. Now I have to hurt you!" With >that Patamon bites down hard on Mimi's breast and pulls it with all his >might! PETER: Considering the fact that Patamon is basically a throw pillow with bat wings, and Tokomon is the one with teeth, that's not saying much. FILIA(hits Peter with her mace): DON'T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS! PETER: OUCH! I didn't give anybody ideas! And watch it with that thing, will ya! _I_ can't regenerate like Xelloss! >He pulls it up and down, left and right. He pulls it so hard >that her nipple starts to bleed! Patamon pullson Mimi's breast as a dog would >pull on a piece of rope! PRISS(wincing): Okay, we got the point already! >Mimi just screams and cries out to be let go! >Patamon counties to pull on Mimi's nipple. After another minute Patamon >starts to bite all over Mimi's breast, leaving deep red bite marks all over >her right breast! (Ranma doubles over in sympathy pains, and falls over.) ALL THE GIRLS: Ouch . . . PETER: I don't even have breasts, and _I_ think that's painful! >Then it was Gomamon's turn to have some fun and join Patamon. RANMA(getting up): I'm never going to be able to watch this show again, without thinking about THIS scene. >Gomamon starts right off hurting Mimi >by grabbing her left breast with his hands RATCHET: He's a SEA ANIMAL DIGIMON! He doesn't have HANDS! >and squeezing it hard! So hard in fact that his claws started to >cut threw her skin! AYEKA: If Tank Cop does get a girlfriend, heaven forbid, I hope she reads this and then kills him. KSA: He actually did, and e-mailed me about his break-up with her. XEL: Could you blame her? OTHERS: No. PETER: I wonder if she left him because of his personality, or because of his writing. KSA: I think it was a combination of both. >"OH GOD JUST KILL ME NOW PLEASE!" Mimi cries! ALL: US TOO! >"Shut up you slut!" Gomamon then slaps Mimi acrossed the face! PETER: So far Tank Cop has shown he thinks that the Digimon are sex crazed perverts, Patamon's psychopathic, and Gomamon thinks he's a pimp. Once again I say to Tank Cop, I hope something REALLY bad happens to you. AYEKA: I feel that the worst part is that this is NOT his worst work. The simple fact that "Sammys Little Secret" is worse than this, makes me feel sick to my stomach. RANMA: I feel sick to my stomach too, but it's not because this isn't his worst work. XEL: I'd feel sick to my stomach, if I actually had one, seeing as I'm an astral plane creature. PRISS: Then how come you throw up along with the rest of us? XEL: I . . . I don't know! PRISS: What? No "that, is a secret", again? XEL(clutching head): WHAT HAS THIS FIC DONE TO ME!?!?! >With Gomamon's claws now deep into her breast and blood coming out! He licked >the breast and the blood off her breast. "Such a sweet little slut you are!" >Then it was time for Palmon to start her turn. "All right honny, I'm going to >put a vine in your mouth, now if you don't want me to hurt you like Patamon >and Gomamon are, then you will be a good little slut and do a good job." With >that Palmon shots a vine into Mimi's mouth. SCIMITAR(convulsing): Tank Cop's using tentacles.... Oyaji-sama, WHHHYYYYY!!?? AYEKA: I think I shall start a women's group, just on the basis of hating this story. FILIA: Well, you already have four members to start with. Five, if you count Ranma. RANMA: Yeah, that's r-HEY! >She move it in and out. Making the >vine nice slimy! "Feels just like a cock in your mouth, right slut?" >Mimi can't talk so she just nodded her head. PETER: I'm not even going to dignify this with a response. KSA: I, on the other hand, will. (deep breath) SHE'S NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE IN HER LIFE YOU STUPID PERVERT! *cough!* *wheeze!* Thank you. PETER(to Ksawarrior): Feel better now? KSA: Much. >Palmon was not going to hurt Mimi as much, but she was moving the vine in and >out pretty fast! RATCHET(Mimi, muffled): Air . . . Need air . . . >After five minutes it was Gabumon's turn. RANMA: At least the poor detail means we don't have to see much. RYOGA(trying to pinch off his nosebleed): Thank goodness for small favors. >"Now for some real fun slut! I am going to fuck you hard!" Gabumon said with >a smile on his face. PRISS: I'm never going to watch this show, again. >Mimi just wanted this to end. ALL: SO DO WE!!! >She couldn't belevie this was happening. AYEKA: Well, what did she "believe"? >Then Mimi felt Gabumon's dick on the tip of her pussy! RATCHET(Mimi): Leave my cat out of this! RANMA(shuddering): Don't mention the "C" word! SCIMITAR(ditto): And we mean as in both Ranma's fear, and the actual idea. KSA: Makes you happy that Gatomon was spared, don't it? OTHERS: Amen! >Then he rammed it in hard, ripping her virginity apart! PETER: How? He's barely two feet tall. How long can his dick possibly be? PRISS: This is a Tank Cop lemon, remember? Knowing that pervert, Gabumon's penis is ten feet long. PETER: No, it can't be THAT long. He'd die of blood loss, just from his erection! REI: You mean like Ryoga is, but without the erection? (Ryoga has passed out with a large nosebleed at this point) PETER: And without the blood running down his face. >Mimi screamed as much as she could with a vine in her mouth! >Gabumon shoved his dick in and out and shoved it in as deep as it could go. RATCHET: All two inches. >Mimi's pussy leaked with cum and blood! RANMA(Gabumon): Uh, we need some bandages over here! >Gabumon was just loving it and gets into a good rhythm. >Mimi was just so weak that she couldn't fight back anymore. AYEKA(to Mimi, in the fic): WAKE UP, DAMNIT!!! WAKE UP!!! RYOGA(getting up): Oh, God. I had the most horrible dream! I dreamt that we were watching this horrible Digimon lemon where-(Looks up at the screen.) GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! >Then to her shear horror it was Agumon's turn! >"Raise her up for me will you Palmon?" PRISS(Palmon): No I won't, Agumon. I'm not your damn slave! >Palmon lifts up Mimi's back side and Agumon slides underneath her and places >his dick into her little asshole! >Mimi's eye's became like big ovals! PETER: Considering the character designs for this Anime series, I can believe it. KSA(deep voice): Digimon: Giant gloves, perverted monsters. RATCHET(ditto): Plus the great taste of chicken. (Everyone else stares at her, nervously.) What? >As the pain of being ass fucked hit her hard! >Agumon was loving it! "Oh God your so tight Mimi!" Agumon said as he jammed >his dick all the way up her ass! >Mimi just cried. For it was the only thing she could do. >The horrorable rape lasted for hours! (The MST group vomits silently into their barf-bags.) >Then everyone stopped! AYEKA(Palmon): Oh my god! What have we done!?! RANMA(Gabumon): I feel unclean! PRISS(Patamon): The dirt! It won't wash off!!! RATCHET(Gomamon): I'm going to throw myself into a tuna net! PETER(Mimi): Um, could you let me go now? KSA(Agumon): Hey! Let's go get that perverted author. SCIMITAR(Gabumon): Yeah! XEL(Tank Cop): What!? You slaves get back to screwing that minor! KSA(Agumon): Agumon, warp digivolve to.... WARGREYMON! SCIMITAR(Gabumon): Gabumon, warp digivolve to.... METALGARURUMON! FILIA: You guys do those voices too well. PETER(Gomamon): Gomamon, warp digivolve to .... MARINEANGEMON! KSA: Peter, Gomamon doesn't have a MEGA level, yet. ANIME PORT #9 CREW(holding up their Digibattle card game decks): Oh yes he does!! >Each one of them let go of Mimi. PETER(Mimi): Thanks. >Mimi was a hurt, sad, cring mess! Mimi would have run away but she >didn't even have enoght strength to stand up. RATCHET: But did she have "enough" strength? >Then she hear something that shocked her? RANMA: Shampoo's narrating again. >"All right Ogermon its your turn, she's all yours." Palmon says and Ogermon >walks in. PRISS(game show host): Ogremon, Mimi Tachikawa says "Make me laugh"! PETER(Ogremon): Me and Leomon have been best friends for ever, and ever. RATCHET(Mimi, laughing): WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- HA-HA-HA!!! PETER(Ogremon): Wait, I haven't told the joke yet! >Mimi wass just to scared to even scream! AYEKA(Mimi, unhappily to Ogremon): I thought we left you, outside of the cave. RYOGA(Ogremon): I got better . . . No, wait. That's not my line! >Ogermon was naked with the biggest dick she had ever seen. It was far to big >to fit in her! RATCHET: He then fainted from the amount of blood needed to sustain the erection. >"All right you slut, its time for my fun!" Ogermon grabs Mimi by the legs and >rams his huge dick into her small and sore pussy! >Mimi screams out in pain. "AAAAAAARRRRRHHHHHH!" ALL: WE AGREE!! >Then to Mimi's surprise Ogermon's voice started to sound like Joe's? RANMA(to Tank Cop): You mean YOU don't even know? AYEKA: So Ogremon has become very whiny, and complains a lot? RATCHET(Ogremon as Joe): This isn't as much fun as I thought it would be. XEL(ditto): I think I'm gonna barf. PRISS(ditto): It's YOUR turn to carry the bag, today! PETER(ditto): I'M STUCK!!! I'M STUCK!!! GET IT OUT!!! (The other group members stare at him nervously.) What? >Then Mimi wakes up PETER: to only find herself sleeping on a Plate of Sashimi. XEL: *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!* (headless body falls over) KSA: Not again. >! >"Mimi are you ok, you were screaming in your sleep?" Joe said as he held her >tightly. PRISS(to Tank Cop): YOU PUT THE QUESTION MARK IN THE WRONG PLACE, YOU IDIOT!!! >Then she looks at herself and sees no scares, cuts, or bruise any >were on her. AYEKA(narrator): Unfortunately the bad spelling and grammar told her she was still in Tank Cop's story. >It was all a dream. Then >she gives Joe a big hug. RANMA(Joe): My SPINE!!! XEL(finally regenerated): Is it over? KSA: Almost, I think. >"Oh Joe you were right those mushrooms did give me nightmares. I never want >to eat them again! Just hold me please Joe." RATCHET: This would actually be touching, if it weren't T.C.'s fic. >"Ok Mimi. Man that must have been some nightmare?" Joe said. PETER(Joe): Is that my line? >"Joe I hope you never know. SCIMITAR: If he ever finds out about it, I think he'd kill himself. PRISS(rapping with the fic): Now we really got to go. (The other group members glare at her, but do not say anything.) >It was horrorable." AYEKA(Mimi): It was as "horrorable" as Tank Cop's spelling! >The End. ALL: FINALLY!!! (The MST group gets up, and starts to leave.) RANMA: What? No poorly written taunt to Ksa? PETER: Don't push it, Ranma. KSA: No, let's see him try to insult me! COME ON YOU ILLITERATE PERVERT! I'M RIGHT HERE, SO TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT! (Something lands in front of Ksawarrior on the way out) KSA(picking it up): Oh sweet god... PETER: What is it? (Ksawarrior turns the package around, which happens to be a script, with the words, "Sammy's Little Secret 5") ALL BUT KSAWARRIOR: KSA NO BAKA!!!!!! (Everyone finally exits the theater.) "Honestly, Ksa. I thought you'd know better than to provoke him, by now." Said Peter. "Oh, like I knew he was listening in on us!" said Ksawarrior, as he inspected the package. "Wait a minute . . . This thing looks like it's supposed to hold a tape . . . But it's empty!" *Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha* A slightly bland voice sounds from the viewing monitor. "Oh hell." Mutters Ksawarrior, as he puts down the package. "Hey guys! Get in here! Brain-In-The-Box is calling!" The MST groups stop whatever they were doing, and join the two leaders, on the deck. "Greetings Ksawarrior. Hello Mr. Suzuki. I trust the empty package arrived there where you could see it?" said Dr. Wheelo, as he appeared on the monitor. "Hey, I know you!" exclaimed Peter. "You were the villain who got his hypothalamus kicked by a five year old." "An error in the final print, I assure you." Said Dr. Wheelo, perhaps a little too quickly, but then again you can not really tell with him. "At any rate, the tape that Tank Cop so graciously included in that package has been beamed to your ship, as your next fan fiction." "Aw, DAMN!" exclaimed the MST groups. It was at this point that Peter realized someone was missing. "Hey, where's Ratchet?!" "Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me." Said Dr. Wheelo. "Your little friend is up here with me, along with Ksawarrior's potential girlfriend, Lime. I can't be having people potentially in love ruining the experiment, now can I?" "Well, what about them?" asked Ranma, pointing to Filia and Xelloss, the former trying to reduce the latter to mace mush. "Please, take my unsurpassed knowledge into credit, Mr. Saotome." Said Dr. Wheelo. "At any rate, you can just give up on seeing either of them, ever ag-" "Ratchet!" called out B-ko. "Yeah?!" said Ratchet, from somewhere to the left of Wheelo. "What the?" exclaimed Dr. Wheelo. "Implement escape program 'P'!" said B-ko. "Escape program 'P'! Understand?!" "Got it!" said Ratchet, as the sound of computer equipment being severely damaged echoed though Dr. Wheelo's lab. "Stop that!" Said Dr. Wheelo. "That is a highly important piece of machinery!" "I know!" said Ratchet, as said important piece of machinery went flying past the camera, and landed somewhere else with a loud *CRASH!* "Ratchet!" said Peter. "If you happen to see Lime, from Saber Marionette J anywhere, rescue her too!" "Eeyukae!" said Ratchet, as another piece of delicate machinery could be heard going bye-bye. "Now see here!" said Dr. Wheelo, in an authoritative voice. "Put that down, right this minute! . . . Oh-no." With a sound *BONK!* said piece of delicate machinery was thrown into Dr. Wheelo, causing the encased brain to topple over. "Help! I have fallen! And I can't get up!" "So Peter, just what is 'escape program P' anyway?" asks Ksawarrior, as Ratchet causes mass destruction and mayhem in her search for Lime. "Basically it means 'destroy all important looking pieces of machinery, saving the transporter to escape, and leave behind lots of explosive things'." Said Peter, looking at his watch. "Five, four, three, two, one." "I'm back!!" announced Ratchet, as she entered onto the deck. "What took you so long?" asked Scimitar. "Voyager was creating transporter traffic on the way up here." Replied Ratchet. "Where's Lime!?!" asked Ksawarrior. "She's in here." Said Ratchet, holding up a Master-Ball type Pokeball. "YOU STUFFED HER IN A POKEBALL!?!?!?!" exclaimed Ksawarrior. "It's okay, trust me. S'all right in there?" Ratchet asked the ball. A faint scream of *let me out of here!* could be heard from inside. "S'all right." "Give me that!!!" said Ksawarrior, as he grabbed the Pokeball from Ratchet, and pushed the button. It opened up, and released a very tired looking Lime. "Lime-chan!!" That perked her up right away. "KSA! DAI SU-"*whump!* Lime fell over, completely worn out. "I think she's a little out of it." Said Rei. "That brain guy had her eyes hooked up to a television, and was forcing her to watch PBS all the time." Explained Ratchet. "That monster!" growled Ksawarrior, as he clutched Lime protectively to himself. "You have not won yet, my little lab rats." Said Dr. Wheelo, who somehow got upright again. "The damage is repairable, and I still have the robot girl stealer. You will never win. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" "WUHUHUHUHUHUH!" "EHEHEHEHEHEHEH!" *beepeepeepeepeepeep!* Dr. Wheelo looked (?) behind himself, to see an Electrode Pokemon, a Weezing Pokemon, a Golem Pokemon, and a Bob-bom all standing behind him, imitating his laughter. "Pokemon! And you Bob-bom, EXPLOSION ATTACK NOW!!!" shouted Peter. "I hate you." Dr. Wheelo managed to say, just before the explosions occurred. *BOOM!!!!!* *BOOM!!!!!* *BOOM!!!!!* *VA-BOOM!!!!!* And the screen now showed only static. "Way to blow his brains out, Ratchet!" said Priss. "Great job!" said Peter. "Mission accomplished!" "Aw, shucks! It was nothing." Said Ratchet. *You've got death threat!* sounded a computer nearby. Wasabi went over and checked what was up. "Hey, it's from Doc Wheelo! He survived!" The MST groups went over to see what was up. Dear valued resources, Despite your futile attempts, I am not dead. While you have momentarily destroyed my camera, and completely destroyed my "Steal the potential robot girlfriends of the MST group leaders" device, I still have my fan fiction sending device, and will be sending you bad stories until doomsday. I hope you die. Sincerely; Doctor Wheelo. PS: Somehow, some way, I shall have my revenge! "Oops." Said Ratchet. "I guess I missed the fic sender." "It's okay, Ratchet." Said Peter. "You did good anyway." "No more . . . please . . ." muttered Lime, causing Ksawarrior to hug her more protectively. Suddenly, the klaxons blared. "WE GOT TANK COP SIGN!!!" The MST groups shouted, as they all rushed into the theater, and the recorders rushed into the control booth. (The MST groups sit down, with Ksawarrior trying to comfort a still slightly dazed Lime.) >I'm so tried of disclaimers and warnings, so I am not going >to do them anymore in this series. AYEKA: We would prefer it if you just left out the series, and kept the disclaimers and warnings. SCIMITAR: You don't get it! He can be sued now! (starts making calls to his lawyer) AYEKA: I would still rather not have to watch this. >This is it people, the last chapter in the best Tenchi Muyo >Lemon series of all time. RANMA: So this is NOT "Sammys Little Secret"? >I'm very sad that after this series it will be over. PRISS: You're the only one. >But all good things must come to an end. PETER: But what does that have to do with this series? XEL: If that's so, then T.C. will live on forever. >So >here we go with the last chapter of the finest Sasami lemon >series in the world. RATCHET: Isn't "Union" already over with? >by Tank Cop PETER(to Tank Cop): May you have acne till you're a hundred! LIME(beginning to come around): Oh Ksa, I had the most horrible nightmare. I dreamt a brain in a fish bowl forced us to watch a terrible lemon by . . . (Looks up at the screen.) OH NO!! Not THIS author again!!! (Starts crying into Ksawarrior's arms.) Make it go away! Make it go away!! KSA(blushing a bright red): Don't worry... I'm here. >Sammys Little Secret PETER: She's the 252nd Pokemon! PRISS: The truth to why her mother and brother haven't appeared in this story. SCIMITAR(Tenchi): What? Stay in a Tank Cop lemon? Nope, I'm going to Mexico! ALL: SPRING BREAK! (do a little dance) >5: Secrets No More >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >--------- >The group walks into the thrown room of the Magical >Kingdom of Juria. RATCHET: They threw the room? SCIMITAR: The most convenient giant robot was nearby. REI: Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that supposed to be Juriahelm? >Sasami in dressed in full Sammy gear, KSA: The world's shortest minor mini-skirt. >Misao in her Pixy Misa outfit, REI: The probable influence for all these Pretty Sammy lemons. >and Ryo-Ohki and Rumiya RATCHET(narrator): in matching leather halters. OTHERS: RATCHET! RATCHET(smiling sweetly): What? >were also dressed >for a fight if need be to convince Ramia and Tsunami into >ending this war. >"Ok Rumiya were are they?" Sasami asks. XEL(Rumiya): I'm afraid THAT, is a secret. ^_^ FILIA(Sasami): -_-x XEL(Rumiya): Second door to the left. >Just then Tsunami and Ramia suddenly appear PETER: to a sold out crowd! ALL(bored): Yaaay. >infront of them. "What do you kids want?" Ramia asks. ALL: OUT OF HERE!!! >Rumiya steps forward. "Its over sister. PRISS(Rumiya as a Chicago mobster): The jig is up, scarlet. >The war ends here." >Rumiya said with a determind voice. "A bold statement for >a littel loser like you!" Ramia said with a laught. RANMA: What's a "laught"? RYOGA: Better question. What is "littel"? >Rumiya >gets angry. Then Misao steps forward. "Misa is gone. You >will no longer control me. I will never fight for you again." >Misao says PRISS(Ramia): Did I say you could talk?! RATCHET(Misao, cringing): S-s-sorry mam. >as she throws her baton on the ground. Sasami >walks over to Tsunami. "I quit too. PETER(Sasami): Hell no! I won't bl- OTHERS: NO!!! >I no longer want to fight >for a causew that will cause me to hurt my friends AYEKA(Sasami): and add extra 'w's where I should not. >." Sasami also throws her baton on the ground. >Tsunami looks at >Ryo-Ohki. "Your still with me right Ryo- Ohki?" Tsunami >asks. "No!" Ryo-Ohki said. AYEKA(Ryo-Ohki): It is YOUR still, now! >"We have all rejected you. RANMA(Ryo-Ohki): We're just not compatible. >How >can you two have a war when no one will fight for ether of >you?" Ryo-Ohki said with boldness. RANMA: Who's "boldness"? >Rumiya second that saying. RATCHET(Shampoo): Who third it? >"We refuse to fight in this stuiped war of yours. Now >make a truce or you two can keep on fighting, but with out >us, we quit!" PETER: You'd think that with all the times we've called him stupid, Tank Cop would have learned to spell that word by now. >Then to there amazement and shock both Ramia and >Tsunami started to laugh? PRISS: You mean YOU don't even know? AYEKA: That would not surprise me. >"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" PETER: Oh great! Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, MANDARK from 'Dexter's Laboratory' is in this!! LIME: The World's largest head, on the skinniest body. >"Whats so funny?" Sasami asked. Tsunami stops >laughing to answer her. PRISS(Tsunami): HA! You guys actually took us seriously! SCIMITAR(Ramia): It was just a lure to keep you all from finding out about our little "games"! OTHERS(glare hatefully at Scimitar): ......... SCIMITAR: Bad idea. Sorry. (sweatdrops) >"We knew that you where coming. RATCHET: They've already done that, several times. LIME(sourly): THANK YOU so much for REMINDING US! RATCHET: Sorry. I can't help myself. >Infact AYEKA(Tsunami): this story has no plot whatsoever! >we have been watching you both for the past week! >We know everything! You kids sure have a lot of stamina!" >Ramia also stops laughing. "Rumiya i never thought you >know so much about forplay!" Ramia said. RANMA: AAAH!! Ramia's really Shampoo!! RYOGA(faints): *THUNK!* >All the kids >faces had turned bright red! "You saw everything?" Ryo- >Ohki asked. "Yep, Everything." Ramia said. "I feel so >embarrassed!" Misao said. "So your going to make a >truce?" Sasami asked. PETER(Tsunami): No, we're going to make quiche, but that's a good guess anyway. >Of course we will, why have a war >when no one will fight for us." Ramia said. PETER(checking a list): Seven. Priss is the winner. PRISS(jumping up and down): Yes! Yes! I won! I won! KSA: Uh, Peter . . . What was that all about? PETER: Oh, we were holding a bet to see how many paragraphs into the story it would take for Tank Cop to kill off the only plot of this story. I thought he could at least go for ten. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >------------------------------------------ >Later that same day Ramia and Tsunami made a truce and >agreed to share teh power and postion of the Queen of the >Magical Kingdom. That evening there was a great party in >the Kingdom, to celebrate the truce between Ramia and >Tsunami, plus the ending of the war between them. AYEKA: It would appear that the Department of Redundancy Department is hard at work, once again. FILIA: With Tank Cop around, they're actually overworked. >The >same night the kids deiced to celebrate in there own ways. PRISS: Get out the Pepto! Here it comes! >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >------------------------------------------ >Rumiya and Misao were in Rumiya's bedroom. Misao was >handcuffed to the bed posts. PETER: His bed doesn't HAVE bedposts! XEL(suspecious): How do you know? PETER(holding up a manga): Read the comic. (Holding up a videotape.) Watched the anime. (Gestures toward Ratchet.) Pulled Ratchet out of that universe to keep her from putting mayonaise in Ramia's sock drawer. XEL(large sweatdrop on the back of his head): Sorry I asked. KSA: I don't even think he has his own room. Doesn't he board with his sister? RYOGA: ACK! (headbutts the chair in front of him) DIE EVIL PERVERTED THOUGHT! >She was wearing a black >leather outfit that made her breasts stick out! KSA: There's that exclamation mark again. PRISS: SHE DOESN'T HAVE BREASTS!!! XEL(tour guide): And here, you can see Misao wearing the "Nahga" selection of Lina's Secret. >She was not >wearing any panties or anything else to cover her bottom >half. She had a red colored ball gag in her mouth. The only >thing not tied down was her legs. XEL(Rumiya): Muahahahahahahhahahahaha! FILIA(Misao, angrily): Mphpmmphphmphmphmmphphmph! BANG! XEL(Rumiya with a higher voice): Owwwwwwwwwwwww...... >Rumiya was getting ready in the bathroom. "Ok you >naughty girl, here i come." RATCHET: That jerk! He's starting without her! PETER: Ratchet, cut it out. This thing's bad enough as it is. >He walks into the room with a >long paddle with six holes in it. RANMA(Rumiya): Were you the one who punched these holes in my cricket bat?! KSA(enraged): SHE HURT A CRICKET BAT!? (goes SSJ/J, then speaks as Inferno) SHE WILL BURRRRRRRRNN!! OTHERS: O_O;; SCIMITAR: He kinda has this passion for cricket. AYEKA(Misao, muffled by the ball gag): Is this a good time to be honest in our relationship? >Wearing his every day >clothes (whatever people where in the Magical Kingdom >wear every day). PRISS: Knowing Tank Cop, he thinks they all run around naked. REI: GAAAAHHH!! (eyes go white) Thanks Priss. I'm blind now. (thinks about it) I can't watch this anymore! YES! (eyes go back to normal) DAMN! >Misao saw the paddle in Rumiya's hand >and started to cry. PETER(Misao, crying): I don't wanna be in this lemon, anymore! >"Now, now. I'll have none of that. I saw >you masturbating at the party! ALL: .......................... LIME: I have the scariest idea about what he does at parties now. ALL: ACK! >Infact I think everyone there >saw you masturbating at the party! Do you know how >embarrassing that is for me to have people looking at you >then looking at me like they think I told you to do it? RATCHET(Misao, muffled by the ball gag): But you did! PETER(Rumiya): That's not the point!! >Did you >really think that doing it at a table with just your long party >dress covering your hands would be enough cover? You >were a complete embarrassment to me Misao! I bet you >were thinking of Ryo-Ohki again, weren't you?" PRISS(Misao): And Sasami, and my left hand, and my right hand, and those male models in the magazines, and the movies, and some people I've never even met before, and ... RANMA(Rumiya as Dilbert): I think I just felt a small dip in my relationship satisfaction. >Rumiya's >voice gets louder. Misao shacks her head, no. "You lying >little whore! Now for that I'm going to spank you twenty >extra times! Now I will give you fifty swats with the paddle!" >Rumiya said RANMA: So is he giving her seventy swats with the paddle, or was he originally only going to give her thirty? AYEKA: Do not think too hard about it, Ranma. It is not worth the effort. >with a grin on his face. Misao just bursted into >tears and sobs, and trying to protest as best she could with >a ball gag in her mouth. She was scared of the pain her >poor bottom would soon be in, PETER: You know, I like cuddling, but you don't see ME putting that into ninety percent of my lemons, do you? PRISS(staring nervously at Peter): You LIKE cuddling? RATCHET(glomping onto Peter): Hugs!! ^_^ PETER: ACK! Ratchet! . . . I can't breath! . . . Gack! KSA(hears something): Uh oh.... LIME(glomps onto Ksa): KSA, DAI SUKE! ^_^ KSA: Neeeed..... aiiiiiirr......! >yet she was very turned on >by the excitement and the sex that would fallow after the >punishment was over. RANMA: What's a "fallow"? AYEKA(reading a dictionary): Fallow; a plot of cultivated land, left idle during growing season. REI: "Yet she was very turned on by the excitement and the sex that would be left idle"? FILIA: Great. That means no sex at all. ^_^ >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >-------------- >After 20 minutes Misao was a sad, crying, red bottomed >girl. RATCHET: And after Misao got a hold of the paddle, Rumiya was a sad, crying, red bottomed mess. (Everyone else snickers.) >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >---------------- >"You were very brave Misao. Now for some fun!" Rumiya >said with a smile. PETER(Misao): I can't. I got a "Tank Cop" headache. KSA: A Tank Cop head- . . . ache? PETER: Well, it's what I think HE thinks with. >Rumiya takes off his pants and starts to fuck Misao's >pussy! He fucks her hard! RANMA: INTENSE NON DETAILED ACTION!! RYOGA: At least we're not seeing any of this! I never thought you'd be THAT perverted Ranma! RANMA: This from the guy who uses his curse to sleep in someone else's fiancee's bed! RYOGA: RANMA, PREPARE TO- FILIA(idly turning her mace): Go on, you two. I dare you. RANMA & RYOGA(large sweatdrop): Nevermind. (A few seconds pass by.) RYOGA(quietly to Ranma): Weirdo. RANMA(quietly to Ryoga): Hamdinger. >She whimpers as Rumiya fucks her harder then she has >ever been fucked before! PRISS: I don't know what's worse; the story, the grammar, or the lousy use of exclamation marks. SCIMITAR: Is there a "D) none's worse, because they're all equally bad"? >He shoves his dick in all the way! >"Do you like that Misao? Do you want me to stop?" Rumiya >asks. PETER: All those in favor of wanting him to stop, please raise your hands. (Both MST groups raise their hands, and so does a painting of Ramia in the fan fiction.) ALL: . . . . . . . . . . . . . >Misao nods her head telling him that she wants him to stop. PETER: And there was much rejoicing! ALL: YAAAAAAAAY!!! >Rumiya is stunned! "What? You really want me to stop? >Why? Did I hurt you Misao?" Rumiya asks. PRISS: She's been hurt by him every single time she's been in this series!! SCIMITAR: Her pride at least. >Rumiya takes off the ball gag from Misao mouth so she can >answer him. "No Rumiya I want you to keep going, but >there is something I need to tell you." Misao said. AYEKA(Misao as Shampoo): I being possessed by evil spirit of Shampoo! >Rumiya was getting anches. "Can you tell me after i have >fully fucked your brains out Misao?" Rumiya asked. RANMA(Rumiya as Shampoo): As you see, me possessed by Shampoo spirit, too! KSA: Tank Cop, the only guy I know who would use the same actress for all the roles in a porn. >Misao sees no harm in that. "Sure you can Rumiya. What i >have to say can wait." Misao said. RATCHET: And thus her brain was knocked out, and all she could say afterwards was "dah!" PRISS(to Ratchet): I do the dark parts, remember? RATCHET: Sorry. >Then they got back into it. With Misao still chained up and >Rumiya fucking away at her now wet pussy! PETER: And the MST groups threw up! (Snagglepuss impersonation.) With our faces over vomit bags, even! >It takes another five minutes to make Rumiya cum. AYEKA: And another three seconds for him to fall asleep. ALL THE GUYS: Hey! >Then >another three to minutes for Misao to cum. RATCHET: If you expect us to believe Rumiya lasted for another three minutes, you're crazy! >Rumiya removes his dick for Misao's soaking wet pussy, PRISS(Rumiya): See that Misao's soaking wet pussy? I'm becoming a eunuch just for you! ALL THE GUYS(crossing their legs): PRISS!! FILIA(Rumiya): Well, actually, I'm planning to go elope with Ryo-Ohki. OTHERS(including Xelloss, whose mouth is wide open in shock): FILIA!! >then unties her. RANMA(Rumiya): Go now Misao, and run free with the rest of your kind! XEL: Take my advice kid. RUN FOR THE HILLS, AND NEVER RETURN TO THIS SERIES! >After the handcuffs are off Misao, Rumiya asks Misao what >she was going to tell him. "So what the big secret Misao?" >Rumiya asks KSA: In Shampoo-talk, that is. >. >"I'm pregnant!" Misao says. KSA: I beg your pardon?! >Rumiya was as white as a ghost. "Are you serious?" >Rumiya asks witha tremble in his voice. REI(Misao): No. APRIL FOOLS! >"Yes, I'm serious! I'm going to have a baby." Misao said >witha smile. AYEKA: Oh, that is nice-SHE HAS NOT EVEN REACHED PUBERTY YET!!!! >"How long until..." Rumiya asks unable to finish the >sentence. >"Nine Months." Misao said. AYEKA: AND YOU CAN NOT TELL OF PREGANCY UNTIL AT LEAST TWO MONTHS INTO IT!!!! >"How? I thought you were to young?" Rumiya asks still in a >trance like state. RATCHET(Misao as a hypnotist): I am not too young. RANMA(Rumiya in a trance like state): I am not too young. RATCHET(Misao): Close enough. >"Ramia told me its a side effect of mixing magic with sex! ALL: What magic? >Are you ok with this Rumiya? Because I really want to have >this child. I hope you do too?" Misao said. PETER(football referee): Misplacement of question mark, ten yard penalty! KSA(ditto): Just existing, twenty yard penalty! >Rumiya was feeling a bit hurt by what Misao just said. "I will >admit that I'm very surprised, but if you think I don't want >this child, then you really don't know me every well Misao. PETER: If Tank Cop uses the "sexual education" incest bit, I'm going to find a way to strangle him through E-mail! PRISS: How many times must we tell you? "Don't give the author ideas, Peter!!!" PETER: Oops! Sorry. >Of course I want this child. I'm very happy, I'm going to be a >father! SO is it going to be a boy or girl, and do you have a >name for the child yet?" Rumiya asked. >Misao nodded her head. "Yes, its going to be a boy, RATCHET(Misao): I can predict the future, that's how I know. >and I'm going to call him, Reiko." Misao said. RANMA: Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but Reiko is a girl's name, isn't it? REI: Hey, Tank Cop's a sexually confused individual. I would never have guessed! FILIA(to Rei): Sarcastic? REI: Yes. >"Reiko...I like it. Oh I love you Misao. PETER(Rumiya): I almost forgot to say that. >" Rumiya and Misao >both embrace each other with a kiss and a hug. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >----------------- PETER: STOP USING THE SAME PAGE BREAKS AS KSA DOES!!! KSA: YEAH! People are actually starting to buy the crap that I started this horrible lemon series! >Mean while, in Ryo-Ohki's room. Ryo-Ohki and Sasami are >having some of there own fun. AYEKA(Sasami): Got any twos? PRISS(Ryo-Ohki): Go fish. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >----------------- >Ryo-Ohki was sitting on the side of the bed while Sasami >was giving him a blow job! (The MST groups dry heave.) >She was doing a very good job >at it too! Both of them were naked! ALL(sarcastically shocked): YOU'RE KIDDING!?!? >Ryo-Ohki was munching on some carrots in his room while >talking about the party to Sasami. AYEKA: And the lows just keep getting lower, and lower . . . >"Well I must say it was a >fun party. Hey Sasami did you see Misao masturbating at >her table? AYEKA: and lower, and lower, and lower. KSA(Scientist from "The Mole Men): Down, down, down. >I mean she was really going at it! It was enough >to get me all hot!" >Sasami counted to suck on Ryo-Ohki's mighty oak! RANMA(Count Von Count): One! That's one sucking mighty oak! Ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa . . . PETER(ditto): And that's five! Five really sucky chapters to this series! Ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa . . . KSA(ditto): And that's 20,000! 20,000 ways I'm going to kill Tank Cop. Ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa . . . PETER(whispering): Ksa, the characters on 'Sesame Street' can't count that high. KSA(whispering): I don't care. >Making >sure not to stop until he cums full force in her mouth! >Ryo-Ohki was just about to climax when he got an idea. RATCHET(toaster): *DING!* PETER(Ryo-Ohki): Woah! That hurt. >He >took out the biggest carrot in sight and began to lick it? >Making it nice and wet. PRISS: EEW! He's writing yaoi again! ALL(throwing up into their vomit bags): *HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!* >Sasami stopped sucking on Ryo-Ohki, and looked up at >him quires as to what he doing. RANMA: What the heck is a "quire's"? SCIMITAR(Sasami 'quiring'): Ryo-Ohki, do you know where my commas went? KSA: Oh no, we're not starting that joke again! >"What are doing Ryo-Ohk? RYOGA: Shampoo strikes again! FILIA: Ryo-Ohk, evil twin of Ryo-Ohki, plots the death of Sasami! Ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa !!!! XEL(sweatdrop): Filia, you lost it. LIME(pointing at Filia): Xel-Chan, who is she? XEL: Ah, she's- FILIA(jumping to conclusions): XEL-CHAN!?!? XELLOSS YOU TWO TIMING BASTARD!!! (Transforms into a dragon, and uses a dragon-sized mace on him, before turning back to normal.) *WHAM!!!* Jerk! XEL(2D): . . . just . . . a . . . friend . . . LIME: Ksa! Why did she hit Xel-Chan? KSA: I'll explain after the fan fic is over, Lime-Chan. LIME(cheerfully): Okay Ksa!! RANMA(strained): Not one word, Ryoga. Not one word. RYOGA(trying hard not to laugh): Wouldn't think of it. >Waht are you going to do with that carrot?" Sasami asks. AYEKA: Inquiring magical girl parodies want to know. REI: Particulary what a "waht" is. >Ryo-Ohki got a big grin on his face. KSA & PETER(old geezer): EVIL! >"I'm going to shove it >up your pussy and make you cum with it!" KSA: ACK! MikeForever is co-writing this! >Sasami was not >to happy with that idea. ALL: NEITHER ARE WE!!! >"No Ryo-Ohki, I won't let you put >that in my pussy. It might hurt and it could do damage to >my pussy, and its to big and long!" Sasami said. RATCHET(Sasami): It's larger than anything I've had in me before! (Everyone else but Lime snickers.) LIME: Ksa, what does she mean? KSA(turns a bit red): I'll tell you when you're older. >Ryo-Ohki >was not to happy with Sasami words. "You will let me fuck >you with this carrot Sasami or I won't let you suck me >anymore and I won't fuck you for a week! ALL(cheering): YAAAAAY!!!! >Now all I want to >do is fuck you with this carrot while you suck on me. That's >all." Ryo-Ohki said in a calm voice. SCIMITAR(to Ryo-Ohki): Kid, that's too much to ask for. RYOGA: Haven't we suffered enough? >Sasami was upset. She didn't want to lose having sex with >Ryo-Ohki for a week. She saw how the other young girls at >the party looked at him. PRISS(young girl): EEW! What's that hideous thing draped over Sasami!? AYEKA(young girl): Her boyfriend. >She was afraid that one of them >would be in bed with her Ryo-Ohki. She wouldn't let that >happen. PETER: She was having enough problems sharing time with Misao. OTHERS: PETER!! PETER: Sorry. XEL: And her brother, mother, and Tsunami. OTHERS: XELLOSS!!!! XEL: Still the best! ^_^ >"All right Ryo-Ohki. I will do it your way. Just be >careful. Also there's sopmething very important I have to >tell you." Sasami said. "Later Sasami. Talk later, sex now." AYEKA: Have I mentioned yet that that the lows just seem to be getting lower, and lower? KSA(sweatdrop): Does "constantly" answer it enough? PRISS: If a guy ever got away with doing that to me, I'd toss him off of a building. RANMA(to Priss): Why would you do that? PRISS: Because if he can get away with doing that, he might as well be able to fly, too! >Ryo-Ohki said. "All right Ryo-Ohki, I'll tell you later." Sasami >said. >Sasami got down on all fours and let Ryo- Ohki slowly >shove the carrot into her tight pussy! He gets the carrot in >half way when Sasami thinks its enough. RANMA: And we agree! SCIMITAR: It was enough when she let him have his fun as a cabbit! >"Ok Ryo-Ohki >thats far enough, now take it out." Sasami said. But Ryo- >Ohki counties to shove it in deeper! LIME(hick daughter): What're "counties", Pa? KSA(hick father): That's where rich people live, pumpkin. SCIMITAR: Obscure points for the newlyweds. (Ksawarrior and Lime both turn red) RATCHET(Jeff Foxworthy): You may be a redneck if your honeymoon includes animals and vegetables! PETER(ditto): You may be Tank Cop if you think that's a way of life! EVERYONE ELSE(turning green): *URP!* (Peter and Ratchet give each other high-fives.) >"Ryo-Ohki I said that's >enough!" Sasami starts to get mad. Ryo-Ohki didn't like >Sasami's tone of voice. "Sasami this is my most thought >about fantasy. So please don't tell me to stop again!" Ryo- >Ohki said as he moves the carrot in more. RATCHET(Sasami as Dark Helmet): BULL SH*********T!!! STOP IT NOW!!! >Sasami just explodes! REI: After five chapters of this fic, who wouldn't? KSA: The Mojo Jojo wannabe who sent this to us, apparently. DR. W'S VOICE: I heard that! KSA(Crow T. Robot): Bite me! PETER(Ryo-Ohki): EEW! I got Sasami all over the walls! >"BUT IT HURTS SO MUCH! MY PUSSY CAN'T >STRETCH ANYFURTHER! IT WILL START TO BLEED >AND YOUR SHOVING IT IN SLOW ONLY MAKES IT >WORSE!" Sasami yells. "Ok Sasami. (Everyone but Xelloss starts cheering) XEL: It'd be funny if he decided that shoving it in fast would be better. >If going in slow >makes it worse then I will make it easierand shove it in fast >and all at once!" Ryo-Ohki said. (The MST groups go pale, as they hear that.) XEL: How the-? *WHOMP!* FILIA(putting her mace back under her skirt): You had to ask for it, didn't you? PRISS: Didn't we just go through this, with me and the last fic? >Sasami went pale as she >heard that. "NOOOO! RYO-OHKI PLEASE DON'T DO IT!" >Sasami begged. ALL: WE AGREE!!! >She was a little to late! PETER: Really? I thought she was the "Magical Girl Pretty Sammy". (The other group members stare at him, nervously.) What? >Ryo-Ohki took his hand and hit the back of the carrot with >all he's got. Ramming the carrot deep into Sasami's pussy! >Sasami screamed out in pain. >"AAAAAARRRRRRHHHHHH!" RANMA(Stan): OH MY GOD! HE KILLED SASAMI!! PRISS: It was a mercy killing. >After a minute or two, Ryo- >Ohki rubs Sasami's head. "Its ok now Sasami, its all the >way in. It must have hurt a lot, but I just want to thank you >for helping me fulfill one of my fantasies. PETER(Ryo-Ohki): Sasami? Sasami!? Quick! Call 911! Call 911!! Call 911!!! AYEKA(singing): Nine, one, ooooone! PRISS(ditto): Nine, one, oooone!! RANMA(ditto): Nine, one, ooone!!! RATCHET(ditto): Nine, one, one!!!! KSA'S CREW(flatly): Nine, one, one. >I have somthing to >tell you about the carrot?" RANMA: Well do you!?! LIME: Is it me, or is the spelling getting worse? RYOGA & SCIMITAR(deadpan): It's not just you. >Ryo-Ohki said with a grin. Sasmi >still tried and shacking from the pain looks at Ryo-Ohki. SCIMITAR(singing): Love shack! Baby, Love shack! (gets pounced by Priss) PRISS: NEVER *BAM* EVER *BAM* SING THAT AGAIN! KSA(thinking outloud): Hmm, a Scimitar/Priss bondage lemon. (Scimitar and Priss beat the living daylights out of Ksawarrior. Please note that due to the scevere acts of violence enacted upon Ksawarrior, we are unable to even give sound effects.) KSA(badly beaten): Note to self: Never open mouth for lemon ideas. PETER(writing down what Ksawarrior is saying): . . . for . . . lemon . . . ideas. There! (Puts notepad back in pocket.) >"What about the carrot, Ryo-Ohki?" Sasami asks. "Its not a >real carrot!?!" Ryo-Ohki said with a giggle. LIME: If Ryo-Ohki said it, then why is he asking a question? >Sasami si confused? RATCHET(Spanish accent): Si, Sasami very confused. >"Then what is it?" Sasami demanded to know? SCIMITAR: Well, did she? PETER(Ryo-Ohki as a salesman): It's an ACME foam rubber, imitation carrot! Nine out of ten magical girls stuck in lemons, can't tell the difference! >"Its really a carrot shaped dildo and a viberating one too!" >Ryo-Ohki said with a smile. RANMA: I thought he said- AYEKA(stopping Ranma): Please do not repeat that line. RYOGA(putting down his umbrella): Aww. REI(Ryo-Ohki): Oh wait. This IS a real carrot, so I must've eaten the . . . Oh dear. (Everyone else laughs, and Scimitar shakes, pretending that there is something vibrating in his stomach.) >Sasami was very pissed. "Why >didn't you tell me it was a dildo in the first pleace?" Sasami >asked. RATCHET: Would it have really made a difference? >Ryo-Ohki start to laugh. "What, and miss the look >on your face? No way. Now i am going to turn the dildo on >while you cna finish sucking on my dick!" Ryo-Ohki said as >he turns on the dildo to its highest level. KSA: One-handed typing again. PETER(Sasami): Wait, I-*KA-BOOM!* PRISS(Ryo-Ohki): Oops! SCIMITAR(ditto): Paper towels! I need LOTS of paper towels! >Sasami felt like Ryo-Ohki's dick was vibrating inside her >pussy! The dildo was incredable! Sh could barley AYEKA: "Barley"? I believe that is what they use to make certain types of alcoholic beverages. FILIA: That explains ALOT! >concentrate on sucking Ryo-Ohki's dick, but she kept >licking as best she could. It took Sasami just two more >miuntes of sucking to make Ryo-Ohki cum in her mouth! >Then she just fell to the floor and curled up into a ball just >like a little kitten. RANMA(fearfully): DON'T SAY THAT!!! >She moved her hands to where the dildo >was and held it tighly in pleace until she could cum! "Oh >Ryo-Ohki this is so amazing! I never knew that a dildo >could make me feel this good!" Sasami moans. "Well, if you >like the dildo so much Sasami you can keep it." Ryo-Ohki >said. "Really, I can? Thanks Ryo-Ohki." Sasami said. PRISS: So she went from fully hysterical, to completely deadpan in two seconds? >"But >remember Sasami you have to ask me if you can use it. I >don't want you to use it twenty-four hours a day and not >have time for me. This is only to be used when I am away >or if we have sex and Isay you can use it." Ryo-Ohki said. PETER(Ryo-Ohki): Have I emphasized my point enough yet? KSA(Sasami): Were you saying something? PETER(Ryo-Ohki): D'OH! >"You have a deal." Sasami said. Just then Sasami cums! >"OH YES!" Then Ryo-Ohki turns the dildo off and takes it >out of Sasami's pussy. He then carries her to the bed and >lies her down to rest. >"Now Sasami you told me there was something important >you wanted to tell me?" Ryo-Ohki asks. >Sasasmi was nervous. "Yes Ryo-Ohki. I don't know how to >tell you this so I will just come strait out and say it. RATCHET(Sasami): I'm a lesbian. RANMA(ditto): I am on a Plate of Sashimi. AYEKA(ditto): I really think we are too young to be doing this any longer. PRISS(ditto): I don't really feel any LOVE in our relationship. PETER(Sasami as Dark Helmet): I am your father's, brother's, cousin's, best friend's former room mate. FILIA(Sasami): I'm actually a hermaphodite. OTHERS: GYAAHH! XEL(Ryo-Ohki): I thought something felt a bit odd. >I'm >pregnant. I'm going to have a baby, our baby!" Sasami >said. PRISS(sarcastic): Wow, what a surprise. REI: Seriously, who wasn't expecting this? (No one raises their hands) REI: Thought so. LIME: Yay! She's gonna have a baby! I like babies! (Thinks about it.) Wait a minute . . . Is that a good thing in this story? RATCHET: Nope. I doubt it's a good thing in ANY of Tank Cop's stories. LIME(about to cry): Oh no! (Rushes into Ksawarrior's arms.) WHAAA!! Hold me, Ksa! KSA(glaring at Ratchet, while comforting Lime): There, there. It'll be all right, Lime. RATCHET(mouthing): What did I say? >Ryo-Ohki was stunned. "Sasami are you sure its my child? >Its not Rumiya's is it?" Ryo-Ohki asked. >"No its definitely yours, Tsunami told me. AYEKA(Sasami): She is wise, and all knowing. >Its going to be a >girl and I'm going to call her Naori." Sasami said with a >smile. PETER: Let's see; Misao's going to have a boy, and Sasami's going to have a girl. Gee, who's surprised!? (No one raises their hands.) I thought so. >Ryo-Ohki was overjoyed. "You mean I'm going to be a >father?" Ryo-Ohki asks. >Sasami samiled. LIME: She what? RATCHET(childish voice): Mommy, Tank Cop's re-writing the English Language again! >"Yes Ryo-Ohki, in nine months you will be >a father. Your not surpised, why?" Sasami asks. RANMA(Ryo-Ohki): At the amount of crap in this series so far, I'm incapable of shock. >"Most magical girls have always given birth at a young age. ALL: Huh? What? Huh? AYEKA: Say that again. >I just never thought you would till you were older. But its not >uncommon. Infact my mother was just twelve years old >when I was born. PETER: Yeah, but she wasn't human. SCIMITAR: It's official. Tank Cop has issues. >Most people in this Kingdom know about >early child birth, except Rumiya. He just never understood." PRISS(Ryo-Ohki): That's because he's stupid. >Ryo-Ohki said, then he gives Sasami a good night kiss on >her lips. Then gets into bed, turns off the lights and goes to >sleep with his lover and mother of his future daughter in his >arms. "Good night my love. In the morning we will tell the >entier Kingdo of this great news." Ryo-Ohki said. "I guess >there will be another party, RATCHET: We can only hope it doesn't end up like THIS party. >well until then, good night Ryo- >Ohki." They both drift off to sleep. RYOGA: I can't take this anymore! I- I have to end it all! (Ryoga runs out of the theater.) KSA'S CREW: Uh oh. AYEKA: Honestly, what is the worst that he can do? SCIMITAR(completely serious): Jump out the airlock in a suicidal rage. PRISS(laughing): As if he could find it! SCIMITAR: Priss, I've lived with Ryoga this long. Trust me, when he's drunk, or suicidal, his sense of direction is perfect. PETER'S CREW: Uh oh. RANMA: Quick! We got to get to the south bound exit, now! KSA: Why the south? RANMA: When Ryoga runs off all desperate like that, he always runs south! Don't ask me why, just go! (They all exit the theater.) Peter and Ksawarrior assemble the others on the bridge of the Turtlecraft. "Okay, Ryoga, as stated, when either drunk, or suicidal, as he is now, has amazing directional ability, and heads in a southern direction." Ksa said, laying out maps of the Turtlecraft and the AnimePort. "Okay, we'll split into teams of four." Peter tapped Ksawarrior's shoulder. "Ksa?" "Yes, Peter?" "He's over there." Said Peter, pointing behind Ksawarrior Ksawarrior face faulted as he realised that Ryoga was right there, at the airlock. "Don't try to stop me!" Ryoga yelled. "Ryoga, buddy, pal," Ranma said. "If you jump out, Wheelo wins!" "I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" Ryoga screamed, reaching for the door. "Plan B?" Peter asked. "Yep." Ksawarrior replied. *KLONG! BANG! EXTREME HURT!* Ryoga dropped to the floor, having been hit with Ksawarrior's Nyoibo staff, Filia's mace, and a large P-Chan statue that Peter was carrying in his jacket. Ratchet walked over to Ryoga's fallen form, and began counting. "One, two, ten! The winners, by total knockout!" Ratchet pointed to Ksawarrior, Filia, and Peter, who were being flanked by Lime, opposite of Ratchet. "Ksa, Peter, and some blond hared lady!" said Lime, cheerfully. "Yaaay." Cheered Ayeka, Priss, Ranma, Rei, Scimitar, and Xelloss, in a rather bored tone. " 'Blonde haired lady'? I'm Filia Ul Copt, Priestess of the Fire Dragon King's Temple!" Filia declared. "Hi, I'm Lime. Nice to meet ya!" Lime said cheerfully. "Guys, we've re-wired Wheelo's broadcast." B-ko said. "YES!" "It's another T.C. Digimon fic." Wasabi added. "We hate you." The teams deadpanned. Suddenly, the signal to start was heard from the Anime Port. *I love you. You love me. We're a happy fami-* *BANG! BANG! BANG!* *Shut the F**K up!* "Oh, and you guys still have to finish the rest of Sammy's Little Secret, after this is over." Said B-ko. "AW, DAMN!!" Exclaimed the MST groups. They all then ran back to the theater. (The MST groups reenter the theater, and take their usual seats. Ryoga chooses that moment to wake up.) RYOGA(rubbing one of the many bumps on his head): You didn't have to hit me so hard. SCIMITAR(to Ryoga): Like you'd feel it otherwise. >This lemon was requested by doyte7. RANMA(Ryoga): Damn you doyte7!!! Because of you, we've seen Hell!!! RYOGA: No Ranma, I'd do it like this. (Hispanic accent) doyte7, you killed our spirits. Prepare to die. OTHERS: . . . . . . . PETER(to Ryoga): Okay, I'll bite. Spain, or south of the border? RYOGA: Both, actually. >Warning: his lemon involves the sex and rape of a minor. PRISS(sarcastically): It wouldn't be a Tank Cop lemon, if it didn't. KSA: Technically, he hasn't done that much rape as just sex. AYEKA: That is STILL not a good thing. >If you don't want to read that kind of stuff then go no >further. ALL(monotone): If only we could. >You have been warned. RATCHET: Abet a very small, and useless warning, but a warning none the less. >By Tank Cop PETER: May you, Kermit, and Miss Piggy become embroiled in a deadly love triangle! KSA: Ewww! >Matt's Revenge AYEKA: I can only hope it is upon Tank Cop. REI: If it involves Kari and tentacles, I'm going to worry. LIME & FILIA: Huh? SCIMITAR(groans): Long story. >------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- >-------- RANMA: I think T.C. secretly wishes he was Ksa. KSA(proud): YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! (Vegita) AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! >The digidestions where walking threw the wood and as they >walked AYEKA: they noticed the bad grammar, and realized that meant only one thing.. RATCHET(Mimi): Oh no! We're in a Tank Cop lemon!!! ALL(Digidestined {THAT'S how it's spelled!}): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! >Tai >noticed that Sora was always trying to keep a big distance >from Matt? RANMA: Well is she!?! >Every >time Matt got close to her she moved faster to get away >from him. FILIA(Sora): Ewwww, a boy! >So Tai >decided to talk to Sora. "hey Sora, whats up with you and >Matt? Why are you trying to aviod him?" Sora just turned >her face away for Tai. PRISS(Sora): Matt stole all the grammar from our sentences, and won't give it back! PETER(Matt): If I'm going to be in this fic, I'm going to need all the grammar I can get! >"Its nothing Tia RANMA: "Tia"?! Oh no! She thinks Tai is a girl, now!! KSA(shudders): I just got a horribly wrong idea. RYOGA: Like what? KSA: A Digimon/Ranma x-over. RANMA & RYOGA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! PETER: What if it's made by me, instead of Tank Cop? (Ranma and Ryoga glare at him.) Sorry. Dumb idea. >....its nothing." Sora said in a low voice. So Tai deciedes to >let it go. But Sora and Matt know why they Sora was keep >her distance. RATCHET: Is it because the story is being narrated by Shampoo? >The reason >is because one week ago Matt raped Sora! PETER(Tank Cop): And that's the story. Thank you, and goodnight!! OTHERS: We wish. -_-;; >------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- >-------- PETER: Damnit! It's still going!!! AYEKA: Has anyone else noticed that Tank Cop's page breaks resemble the perforations of toilet paper, more than Ksawarrior's page breaks? KSA: I'm going to overlook that remark, Ayeka. >I happend one week ago (scene flash backs to a week ago) PRISS(sarcastically): Thank you, last minute technical correction! KSA(to Tank Cop): No, you happened waaaaaay before that! >when the kids were having a nice time out. FILIA: Because they did something bad. PETER: Normally this is where I'd point out that this wouldn't be in the Dark Master's miniseries, but knowing Tank Cop, it wouldn't make any difference. SCIMITAR: When have those kids actually had a nice time out? They've been chased by Devimon, Etemon, Myotismon, the Dark Masters..... >No one knew, not even TK knew that today was Matt's birthday. RANMA: Hey, Peter. PETER: Yo. RANMA: Doesn't time in the digital world pass by a lot quicker, than in the real world? PETER: Yes. RANMA: And none of the kids brought a calendar with them, right? PETER: Right. RANMA: So wouldn't that mean that the Digidestined have no way of knowing what day it really is, let alone when their birthdays are? PETER: Yup. That's about it, right there. RANMA: Oh. Just checking. >Matt was mad that no one remembered or cared. RATCHET(to Matt, in the fic): Well, maybe if you TOLD them when your birthday was, that wouldn't have happened! LIME: Well, don't get mad, get even! (Everyone glares at Lime) KSA: Hey, she's only a kid! Give her a break. ^_^;; >------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- >-------- AYEKA: Fly specks. They have been aiming. >That night night after everyone was asleep Sora went to the lake >to have a night time swim. PRISS: Don't you mean a "night night" time swim? >Unknown to Sora was that Matt was not asleep and >watched Sora leave camp and headed to the lake after her. >Matt followed behind Sora very quietly. PETER(Elmer Fudd): Be wewy wewy quiet. He's hunting Sowa. Wuh-huh-huh-huh! >But before Sora got to the lake she >could hear someone behind her. "Who's there? Why are you >following me?" Sora said in a scared voice. Mat stopped and hid >behind a tree. PRISS(Cherrymon): Hey kid, watch it with those hands! >At first he didn't know what to do. RANMA: Then why was he following her? >Then he remembered how everyone forgot it was >his birthday today and how mad he was because of it. SO he >decied that he deserves a birthbay present RATCHET(to Peter): I thought people normally gave birthDAY presents, during birthdays. PETER: Normally they do. I don't know about Tank Cop, though. >and Matt wanted Sora! PETER: Well just wait another couple of months, for the action figure to come out! RATCHET: I like my Andromon plush toy, better. (Hugs it to herself.) It's so cute! (Everyone else stares nervously at her.) What? PRISS(quietly to Peter): Where did you get that thing, anyway? PETER(quietly back to Priss): I found it in my jacket somewhere, and thought it would make a nice gift for her. RATCHET(quietly to both of them): Why are you two whispering? PETER(quietly to Ratchet): I don't know. LIME: Oooooh, Ksa, can I have one? KSA: Sure. (whips out a Pikachu plush toy) Here! LIME: KSA! DAI SUKE! (hugs him) KSA(blushing): 'S alright. >So Matt creeps behind Sora and grabs her. "Don't move or scream >Sora or I will hurt you!" Matt told her. Sora was froze with fear. ALL: Huh? >"Matt what are you >doing? Let me go." Sora struggled and kicked, then Matt throw >her to the ground. RANMA: Shampoo's narrating again. >Mat looked at Sora with a evil grin. KSA & PETER(old geezer): EVIL! AYEKA: "AN evil grin"!! Not "A evil grin"!! >"Your not going anywhere Sora. PRISS(Sora): Well help me catch it, and bring it back here! >I have had it with all of you ignoring me and laughing at me >behind my back. You all think I'm the bad guy here do you? PETER: Uh, excuse me! I'm an avid fan of the show- PRISS(under her breath): More like 'rabid' fan. PETER(continuing): but I don't recall Matt at ANY time during the series, having a persecution complex. KSA: Hmmmm.... I think T.C. heard about the little Matt vs. Tai episode, and took it that Matt was evil at the time. >Well then I will do what a >bad guy does then Sora. I'm going to rape you!" Matt said. >Sora was shcoked to say the least. PETER & WASABI(the latter in the control booth): PI-KA-CHUUUUUUUU!!! >She then got up and tried to run back to >camp, but Matt grabbed her by the hair FILIA: What hair? All she's got is something that fits under that bucket of a hat! XEL: Well, that's a secret! ^_^ >and forced back to the ground on >her back. "Matt please don't do this. Please don't rape me. If you >care at all about me you won't do this." Sora begged. RANMA: Shouldn't she be screaming, instead? You know, trying to get the attention of everyone else, and all. >But Matt didn't care. "It was my >birthday today but did any of you guys care? No. Did anyone get >me a gift? No. So now I will have my birthday gift, it will be me >fucking you whether you like it or not and if you try to runaway >or scream I will cut you! PRISS(Matt): And I'll remove the spaces in between words, too! SCIMITAR(singing): My little runaway! My run-run-run-run-runaway! >" Then >Matt pulls out a hunting knife he had brought with him to camp. AYEKA: He brought a HARMONICA to camp with him! A hunting knife was not one of the things the kids brought with them! REI: What kind of security do they have at this camp?! >He had it >under Sora's neck! Sora closed her eyes and cried, her whole >body was shacking with fear. SCIMITAR: Love Shack, baby! Love Sha- PRISS(being held back by Peter and Ranma): Let me at him! Let me at him!! I'll ring his scrawny little neck for that!!! AYEKA(trying to calm Priss down): Look at the bright side! At least he did not sing anything from the Spice Girls! >"Now I don't wan tto cut you Sora so you will make this >good for me or I will cut you. Now don't move." Matt said. RANMA(narrator): We've secretly replaced Matt with Mojo Jojo. Let's see if Sora notices. FILIA(Sora): Hey, Matt, why is your brain under a jar? LIME: AAAAAAAAAHHH! (grabs Ksawarrior) KSA: ACK! >Then Matt took his knife and started to cut off Sora's shirt. Sora >was trying her best not to move or she knew she would get cut. >Final after ten minutes Matt cut off Sora's shirt and pants. PRISS: It took him TEN minutes!? >Then he took hold of sora's bra and >ripped it off her body. "OOOOOWWWWWW!" Sora screamed >as her bra was torn from her. "I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP >SORA!" Matt yelled PETER(Tai): Hey, what's going on over there!? KSA(Matt): Uh, nothing!! PETER(Tai): Really!? It sounds like you're trying to rape Sora, or something! KSA(Matt): I said it was nothing!! >as he >slapped Sora in the face. Sora cried harder. Matt then puts the >knife and placed it on top of Sora's right breast. SCIMITAR, XEL & FILIA: What's wrong with the left? (they all stare nervously at each other) >"One more scream like that and I >will cut you right here. Understand?" Matt asked. Sora was >horrified AYEKA: at the horrible lemon she got stuck in. >. She >nodded her head. "Good." Matt said then he ripped off Sora's >panties. Sora was now only dressed in her hat, shoes, and socks. RANMA: Hold it! If she's wearing her hat, how'd Matt grab her by her hair? REI: Better question. Why didn't she hit him with the damn hat, since it's hard enough to bang with a stick? AYEKA(to Rei): Disgruntled? REI: A bit. >The cold air made her breasts hard RATCHET: It must be REALLY cold out there, to do THAT. >and she wass shacking from the cold. PRISS(holding her assault rifle): Anyone want to even TRY to mention "Love Shack"? SCIMITAR: Um, not really? ^_^;; >Then Matt unzipped >his pants and pulled then and his underpants down. AYEKA(looking a little green): I can not tell what is making me more nauseous; the plot, or the run-on sentences. >His massive cock was in full attention. RATCHET(narrator): Sora took one look at it, and started laughing uncontrollably. XEL(Ryoko as Sora): It's so small! RATCHET(to Xelloss): Actually, that goes "THAT'S THE SMALLEST ONE I'VE EVER SEEN!" XEL: Ah, I see. >Matt was still holding onto his knife with his right hand. >"Now Sora its time to make me happy!" With that Matt rammed >his cock into Sora's pussy! "AAAAAAAAAA!" Sora screamed >as Matt shoved into her very hard. Matt didn't even care that he >had ripped Sora's hymen apart. So Matt was not aware of the >blood that was leaking from Sora's pussy. (The MST groups can not comment on this, as they are all throwing up.) ALL: *BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!! (See?) >Matt was pumping into Sora hard. "God this is great. I never >knew you could be so fucking wet Sora." Matt then using his left >hand grabs Sora's hair and forces her to kiss him open mouth. >"You taste so sweet Sora." Then Matt slaps Sora in the face >again. PETER(wiping vomit off of his face, with a towel): Matt really has to do something about his mood swings. >Sora just cried out of fear and >embarrassment. She Just wanted to die. ALL: SO DO WE!!! >"Why arn't you enjoying this Sora?" PRISS(very angry): Oh, how I would just love to see a women's group show up, right then and there! >Matt asked as he grabbed her left breast and squeezed it hard! >"Start having a good time. Tell you you love this, teel me you >have always wanted this, tell me you want more!" Matt ordered. RATCHET(Sora): How about I tell you I feel sick, and that I'm going to throw up if you keep this up, instead? >Sora fearing that Matt >would cut her if she did do it obeyed him. "Oh Matt you don't >know how long I have waited for this. Please fuck me hard, fuck >me please, pla with my tits, just like I have always wanted you to. >Please keep fucking me!" Sora said in AYEKA: a wooden monotone. >her best sexy voie with tears still falling down her face. >Matt got a smile on his face. "Now see was that so hard to say? ALL: Yes. >Now I will >cum in you then I will cover you with cum!" PRISS(angrily): I hope she uses the knife to castrate him, after he's recovering from the first one! ALL THE GUYS(wincing): Ouch . . . >Matt then moved faster and >faster. He squeezed and twiste her left breast with his left hand >while still holding the knife in his right hand. It didn't take long >for Matt to reach a climax. "OH FUCKING...YES!" Matt's cum >exloded into Sora's pussy. RANMA: What does "exlode" mean? XEL: That- RANMA: From someone OTHER than Xelloss. FILIA(Xelloss): That, is a secret. ^_^ OTHERS(including Xelloss): . . . . . . . . . >Then he pulls his cock out quickly and cums >all over her body PRISS: and then died from dehydration. The End! >. Sora PRISS: ARRRGH!!! >was now cover in Matt's cum. AYEKA: Shampoo, I implore that you remember that you are also of the female gender, AND CEASE NARRATING THIS LEMON WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! >Sora just lied there >and cried. Matt then put his pants back on and looks at Sora. >"That wass fun Sora. RATCHET: I hope that's not implying that he's turned into a snake. KSA: Not the snake spell again... >I only wish you had cummed as well." Matt said. But Sora did >cum at the monent that Matt pulled his cock out. RANMA: But what about the "moment"? AYEKA: Peter, may I please borrow your bullhorn for a moment? PETER(tosses 'Mr. Bullhorn' to Ayeka): Catch! AYEKA(catches the megaphone): Thank you. (Through the megaphone.) WOMEN OF THE WORLD UNITE, AND DESTROY TANK COP!!!!!! B-KO, FILIA, LIME, PRISS, RATCHET, AND REI: RIGHT ON!!!!! ALL THE GUYS: AND LET US HAVE A CRACK AT HIM TOO!!!!! AYEKA(passes the megaphone back to Peter): Ummmm . . . Okay! >Matt never looked down to see >Sora's cum coming out of her pussy, which made Sora feel even >more ashamed. PETER: That he didn't look? OTHERS: PETER!!! PETER: Sorry. >Then Matt bends down to wisper in Sora's ear RATCHET: But falls flat on his face, instead. The End! >. "Now RATCHET: Rats. PETER(to Ratchet): Nice try, though. >I think you >better go get cleaned at the lake. It will be dawn in a hour and i >you ever tell anyone what we just did I will make you reget it for >the rest of your life, I promise you. PETER: I'm not sure if I should be happy or annoyed that we can't understand that. KSA(visor set to translate Tank Cop): Hmmm, if she says anything, he'll make her regret it. (to Matt in the fic) YOU DO REALISE THAT YOU'D BE OUTNUMBERED THEN! PETER: Uh, Ksa. This would be written by TANK COP, remember!? KSA(thinks about it): . . . . . . Ah, crap. That WOULDN'T be good, would it. PRISS(rubbing the sides of her forehead): Stop giving him ideas. Stop giving him ideas. Stop giving him ideas. . . . . >" Matt said as he put his knife back in his pocket and walks >back to the camp with a smile on his face. >As soon as Sora was sure Matt was gone she ran to the lack >crying the whole way. RANMA: She then ran into the "lack", and was knocked unconscious. END!!! >She then washed off PRISS(Sora): The dirt! It won't wash off!!! >al the cum PETER: The perverted member of the Mafia. OTHERS(excluding Ratchet, who just starts laughing): PETER!!! RATCHET(recovering): Ah, that cheered me up, a bit. >and then hurried back to camp >where Matt was sitting on a log watching her getting some >clothes on. RANMA: Didn't he cut them off of her? >Smiling at her the whole time. ALL(old geezer): EVIL! >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- - >---------------- >(scene changes back to the kids walking in the woods) AYEKA: Thank you poorly installed scene change! >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- - >---------------- >So there was a reason that Sora keep a distance from Matt. There >was a reason, very good reason indeed. ALL(dull monotone): A very, very good reason indeed. >End. ALL: FINALLY!!! >---------------------------------------------------------------------------- - >---------------- >I hope you all liked that lemon. ALL: No. >I sure did. PRISS: You would. >I would like to tahnk doytee7 for your support of my work and >your devotion to this site. PETER(Tank Cop): Unfortunately my spelling will be too terrible for you to understand what I'm saying. >I wouls also like to thank Anothy, my parter and best friend at >Digifuck for making pictures to match my stories AYEKA: In turn, "Anothy" requested that his name not be spelled correctly, so he can not be linked in any way to Tank Cop. KSA: Actually, I got an e-mail from this "Anothy" guy. OTHERS: And.....? KSA: Let's just say that he and T.C. go to the same English class. (Everyone else pales) >. >Thank you all. ALL(getting up to leave): DAMN YOU TANK COP!!!!! (The MST groups exit the theater.) Cue to the bridge of the Anime Port/Turtlecraft temporary base. Ksawarrior and Peter were laying out an attack strategy to stop Dr. Wheelo's transmissions; Ayeka, Priss, and Rei were listing all of the painful, and potentially deadly things they wanted to stick up/into Tank Cop; Lime was plugged into an electrical outlet, for recharging; Ranma and Ryoga were in a fight over something; Xelloss and Filia were in a fight over Ranma and Ryoga's fight; Wasabi and B-ko were comparing ideas and opinions on how to keep MSTers in check; and Ratchet was discussing something with Scimitar. "So, let me get this straight," Ratchet said to Scimitar. "This game is like 'Six degrees of Kevin Bacon', but it's with Anime characters and Heero Yuy?" "Yeah, but due to the Fourth Wall rupturing, it's been banned throughout the Universe." "Why don't you try one?" she asked. "Okay, but just one." he replied. Ratchet thought for a little bit. "Okay, Ryo of the Wildfire from Ronin Warriors." Scimitar thought about it. Then he grinned. "Easy. Ryo's English voice is done by Matt Hill, who played the villain in 'Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture'. Terry, the hero of that movie, was played by Mark Hildreath, who also plays Heero." "You have no life, you know that?" Ratchet said coyly. Scimitar opened his mouth for a comment, but... *THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!* *All right, I heard it the first time!* The groups returned to the theater. (The MST groups reenter the theater, and take their usual places.) PRISS(disgruntled): Here we go again. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >---------- >The next day the four of them meet ad tell of the up coming >events. KSA: Uh, anyone got a translator handy? PETER(tuning his translation device): Just a minute . . . Apparently it's supposed to say "The next day, the four of them met with each other, and told one another of their respective pregnancies." OTHERS: Oh. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >---------- >"So your going to have a baby to Misao?" Sasami asked >with joy. RANMA: Who's "joy"? >"Yes. Me and Rumiya are going to have a boy. I'm so >happy to hear that you and Ryo-Ohki are having a girl." SCIMITAR: Don't go there. Please, don't go there! >Misao said. "But there is a problem Sasami?" Misao said in >a low voice. REI(Misao): Is that my line? >Sasami was confused? LIME: I dunno, was she? "What's wrong Misao? This is a day >of joy and happiness, not a day of problems. What could be >wrong?" Sasami asked. KSA: Sasami has gone Kuno on us. >Misao looked at her friend with a >unsure look on her face. "We have to tell our parents and >familys about this Sasami. We need to tell them everything. >They deserve to know." Misao said. FILIA: Well, they could just keep it a secret. REI: Wouldn't their families notice the pregnancy? XEL: In a Tank Cop fic, I wouldn't be surprised if their folks don't notice if their kids are missing their heads. RATCHET(Sasami's mother): Didn't you hear a word I said? Honestly, you'd loose your head if it wasn't screwed on! >Sasami was a littel surprised, but knew that this had to be >done. "Your right Misao. PETER(Misao): What? Is it turning? >Ryo-Ohki and I will go back to >Earth and tell out family the truth. SCIMITAR(Ryo-Ohki): Since when were they my family? >As I am sure you will do >the same with your parents?" Sasami asked. REI(Misao): I have parents? >Misao nodded >her head. "Yes this must be done." Misao said. Ryo-Ohki >puts his hands on Sasami's shoulders and hand a good >idea. RANMA: His "hand" had an idea? PETER: Well it does seem smarter than the rest of him. It always knows exactly where to go. AYEKA(clutching headband): CLEAR!!! (Ayeka's shield units instantly surround Peter, and electrocute him for a split second.) *KA-ZAAAP!!!* PETER(burned): Owie. >"After we tell your families about everything then they >can come to the Magical Kingdom for the celebration. I >think then we can all get to know each other better." Ryo- >Ohki said in a joyful voice. ALL(staring at the screen, horrified): . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PETER & KSA: Get . . . AYEKA & REI: . . . to . . . RANMA &RYOGA: . . . know . . . PRISS & SCIMITAR: . . . each . . . RATCHET & LIME: . . . other . . . XEL & FILIA(with "Psycho" shower scene musing playing in background): BETTER!?!?!?! >"Great idea Ryo-Ohki, we will do >that." Sasami said. "Then I guess we should all be off to >Earth and to see our families. Good luck to us all." Sasami >said. PRISS: God help us all. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >------------ >So the group parts and heads to Earth and to there >families. (Sasami, Ryo-Ohki, Misao, and Rumiya appear mysteriously in the theater. The MST groups are too transfixed on the screen, to notice.) SASAMI(confused): Huh? Who are all of you? And where are we? ALL(in a creepy monotone, not looking away from the screen): We are dead, and this is Hell . . . SASAMI(backing away with her friends): Is that so? Well, we must've made a wrong turn, so we'll be going now. (And just as mysteriously as they appeared, the four lemon characters disappeared. The MST groups still did not notice what had happened.) >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >------------ >Sasami arrives at her house and walks in with Ryo-Ohki at >her side. Her mom greets them both with consurn. PETER: I didn't know she had another kid why Sasami was away. >"Sasami where have you been? AYEKA: Hell. >Your teachers say you weren't in school today? RANMA: Well did they? >And who is this handsome boy with you? PRISS(Sasami): He used to be my pet cat. >Is he your boyfriend? RATCHET(Sasami): No, just a sex toy. OTHERS: RATCHET! RATCHET: What?! It's the truth! >Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend Sasami?" >Sasami's mom asked. Sasami's face >turned red a bright red. RANMA: Wow! The color of her face, turned color into a brighter color! >"Mom can you get the others to >come here, I need to talk to them right now." Sasami said. PETER: How many others can there possibly be? Just Tenchi is left, and maybe the mysterious Mr. Kawai who never appears in the series. KSA: Maybe she want's Ryoko and Ayeka to be there too. PRISS: Knowing Tank Cop, they're in another lemon scene. >After a few minutes the rest of the family comes into the >living room and then Sasami tells them the whole story. >"Now don't freak out ot nothing." Sasami said. RATCHET(Sasami): But I've decided to replace "or" with "ot", and I'm marring the family pet, who is in fact my mystical sidekick, and I'm a somewhat cheesy magical girl rip-off, oh, and I'm pregnant to. LIME(Sasami's mother): Can we freak out now? >Sasami dear, >we promise we will not freak out." Sasami's dad said PETER: from an intercom, in a shoe-box, across the room, under a lamp shade, dressed in camouflage. XEL: I take it you're not too pleased with his role in the series. PETER: What role? And besides, I have a bet going with Ayeka and Priss that he has blue hair, and pink eyes, meaning Sasami takes after him. AYEKA: The eyes maybe, but the mother's hair has to be a dye job. PRISS: Word. RANMA: My hair changes to bright red with cold water, so I'm not taking sides on this one. RATCHET(stroking one of her tendrils): Peter would know more about hair than me. KSA(going Super and showing off his blonde hair): Maybe Sasami's mom is an abstract group of Saiya-jin. (The others glare at Ksawarrior with lightening coming out of their eyes.) KSA(LARGE sweatdrop on the back of his head): Nevermind. >. "Ok >here i go. SCIMITAR(Mario as Sasami): Here I go! >This is my boyfriend and lover Ryo-Ohki." >Sasami points to Ryo-Ohki. ALL(Sasami's family): Hello Ryo-Ohki. SCIMITAR(Ryo-Ohki): Get me out of here! >"Ryo-Ohki...but thats your pets name." Tenchi says. PRISS: Wow! And you realized that all by yourself!? (Ayeka reaches over, and slaps Priss on the back of her head.) *thwap!* OW! >"That's rightm that's because he is or was my pet." >Sasami said. >Everyone gasped when they >heard that. KSA & PETER(Wayne and Garth): No way! LIME & RATCHET: Way! >"Thats a good joke Sasami, now really who is >he?" Sasami's mom asks. AYEKA, FILIA, PRISS, & REI(singing): Who's that cabbit! . . . >Sasami looks at Ryo-Ohki. "Do it >Ryo-Ohki." ALL(with varying degrees of nausea and fear): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! >With that Ryo-Ohki transforms into his cabbit >form, (Ratchet makes the Autobot/Decepticon transformation noise.) >then changes back to a human again. PETER(Ryo-Ohki): I am transformed! >The entire family were stunned! KSA: I was too after reading the FIRST PART OF THIS FIC! >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >------------------ >Later after some more chatting the family started to >understand. RATCHET(Sasami): You see, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much . . . (Everyone else snickers.) >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >---------------- >"So your what your saying Sasami is that PRISS: some bastard with a keyboard is forcing you to commit disgusting sexual acts, and is taking away all proper grammar and spelling in this story? REI(Sasami): Yes. Sad, isn't it? >you are Pretty >Sammy the Magical Girl and have been having sex with >Ryo-Ohki and you are now pregnant with his child?" >Sasami's dad asks. SCIMITAR: HER DAD ISN'T EVEN IN THIS VERSION!! >"Yes that's the whole story." Sasai said. AYEKA: Oh, if only that were true! RANMA(Sasami's dad): And who are you, "Sasai"? XEL: That- EVERYONE ELSE(Xelloss): "-is a secret." We know. XEL: . . . . . . . >"Now what do we do now?" Tenchi asks. PRISS(crossing her fingers, and chanting): Don't have sex. Don't have sex. Don't have sex . . . >"You are all going >to come to the Magical Kingdom with us for the party that >will take please tonight to celebrate for the coming births." >Ryo-Ohki said. RANMA(Tenchi): Do we have a choice? PETER(Ryo-Ohki, with a German accent): No! You veel do as you are told! >Then others had to think about this. Then >they decided to go SCIMITAR: after being threatened at gun point. PRISS(Sasami): Don't make me use this, mom. >. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >------------------ >On the other side of town in Misao's house. RANMA: The other side of town is in Misao's house? >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >------------------ >Misao and Rumiya where talking to Misao's mother and >father. PETER(reaching into jacket): This looks like a job for . . . OTHERS(excluding Ratchet, and in a dull monotone): Superman? PETER(pulls out megaphone): Mr. Bullhorn! RATCHET(holding up a sign): [Mr. Bullhorn 3:16!] (Flips sign over.) [Wacky 24:7!] PETER(through megaphone): IN THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SERIES, IT IS PLAINLY SHOWN THAT MISAO'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED, AND THAT MISAO'S MOTHER IS NOT INSIDE OF THE HOUSE MOST OF THE TIME!!!!!!! FILIA(holding up a sign): [Does he do this often?] AYEKA(also holding up a sign): [About once very other story.] >Went different then they expected. "Mom why are >you not surprised by what i just told you? I just told you that >i was the evil Pixy Misa, I had sex with Rumiya, and some >times when he was a bird, and i am pregnant with his child! >So why aren't you surprised?" Misao asked. FILIA(Misao's mother): Oh, that's nothing compared to what your father and I used to do. ALL(shocked): FILIA! >Her mother >just shrugged. "Well honey that night when I told you I >would be late coming home? RANMA: Which one? >Well I got home early and >then came into your room to kiss you good night, when I >saw you and this Rumiya boy in bed with you and you >where both naked! AYEKA(Misao's mother): I was so horrified, I threw up for days. >At first I was about to beat the hell out of that kid, PRISS: Well why didn't you?! >then I saw a smile on your face and I just gave you >and him a kiss on the checks and covered you both up. XEL(Rumiya): Hey, I remember that night! I dreamt that a giant Misao was towering over me, threw me into a flesh washing machine, and rocked me like a jukebox! (Filia hits Xelloss repeatedly with her mace.) *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *WHAM!* FILIA(standing over Xelloss' mashed form): Why aren't you helping!? RYOGA: Um, because you're doing a fine job on your own? *WHAM!* OW! What did ya do that for?! And not one word out of you, Ranma! RANMA(trying not to laugh): I didn't say anything. >SO >i am not that surprised." Misao's mom said. "Then I guess >the last thing to do is ask you both to join us in the Magical >Kingdom for the party." Rumiya said. "We would be >honored." Misao's mom said. AYEKA: "Honored" is not a word for this story. REI: What is a word for this story? AYEKA: "Fertilizer" comes to mind. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >---------------- >Later that night both Misao's and Sasami's failies went back >to teh Magical Kingdom for the party to celebrate the >coming of Sasami and Misao's children. RATCHET(looking at the sentence): What the heck? PETER: Conceived by an imbecile, written by an imbecile without spell-check. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >---------------- >Everyone was enjoying the party. Tenchi was having quite >a time chatting and dancing with almost every girl at the >party. (Steam begins to pour out of Ayeka's ears.) PRISS: *cough* *cough* *bulls#;+* *cough* REI: Utterly unlikely is more the phrase. >Misao and Sasami parents where chatting with >Ramia and Tsunami about all the stuff that is to be >expected of there daughters, and future son-in-laws, and >there upcoming grand kids. PRISS(Misao's mother): How many more sickening lemon scenes?! Does this idiot ever write anything worth reading?! AYEKA(Tsunami): Not yet. This is his longest series so far, and even now it is mostly setups for lemon scenes. The lemon portions themselves are too small to constitute the length of the setups. >But it was Ryo-Ohki and >Rumiya that where having a little trouble. RANMA(Rumiya as Chong): Dave's not here, man! PETER(Ryo-Ohki as Cheech): No man, I'M Dave! Now let me in, I got the stuff! AYEKA: I am getting more and more concerned that the "stuff" may have had more influence for this story than we first considered. >After a long >dance with each of there lovers, Sasami and Misao, RATCHET: Really? And here I thought they would have danced with their lovers "Starsky and Hutch". OTHERS: RATCHET! RATCHET: There's nothing like hearing your own name like that, to make you feel proud about yourself. >they >both said needed to take care of something, then they both >left and have not been back for a hour? RANMA: Well have they? >"I wonder where >they are Ryo-Ohki?" Rumiya asked. "I don't know Rumiya, I >don't know?" Ryo-Ohki said. RATCHET: I wonder why Tank Cop put a question mark there? LIME: He must've run out of periods. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >---------------- >In Rumiya's bed room was where the girls where. Finishing >something they needed to finish. >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >--------------- PRISS: Thank you useless scene that does absolutely nothing for the story! >They where both in Rumiya's bed room and where kissing >and hugging each other. LIME: Ksa, what are they doing? KSA(blushing): Uh, they're wrestling. LIME: Really?! Can I wrestle too? KSA(now with a nosebleed): GAH! No! I mean . . . LIME(now upset): But I want to wrestle! RATCHET(smiling sadistically): Yeah Ksa, why can't she wrestle? LIME: See! Ratchet agrees with me! Let's wrestle Ratchet! (Picks up Ratchet.) RATCHET(being grabbed by Lime): Ah! No, wait, I- eeep! (Lime drags Ratchet to the row of seats in front of them, and tries to re- enact the scene she just saw.) KSA(major nosebleed): Urk! (Faints.) (Ryoga also has a nosebleed and faints.) RATCHET(struggling): Ah! D-don't do that! Okay, if THAT'S how you want to play it!! PETER(mumbling to himself): Don't look . . . Don't look . . . Don't look . . . (He looks.) Urk! (And has a nosebleed, while fainting.) AYEKA(looking mildly horrified): I never thought I would see the day where Peter would do that old nosebleed gag. PRISS(flinching): Well this is ALMOST as disgusting as the lemon scene. LIME(struggling with Ratchet): EEE! That feels weird! XEL(looking): If this is wrestling, then doesn't that count as bringing a foreign object into the ring? (Hit by Filia.) *WHAM!* OW! What?! You're looking too! (Hit again by Filia.) *WHAM!* OW! RANMA & REI(chanting): Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it . . . KSA: En . . . ugh . . . nah . . . PETER: Oo, ee, oo, ah, ee, ie . . . (Ayeka gets up, and walks off screen.) >After five minutes of opened >mouth kissing, Sasami broke free and started, without >asking to take off Misao's party dress. After taking it off she >backed away to see her young childhood friend in her white >cotton panties, white socks, and a cute white bra with a >little red ribbon in the middle of it. Then Sasami also started >to remove her own clothes. (Ayeka wanders up, and covers the camera with a blanket, thus leaving us with only audio feed for the time being.) LIME: Wai! I gotta try that! (Sound of strap buckles forcefully coming undone.) RATCHET: AAH! Don't do that! LIME: Why do you have a little silly ghost face on your panties? RATCHET: That's a Damashi, and it's none of your business what I have on my panties, now give me back my dress!! LIME: But Sasami didn't give Misao back her dress. RATCHET: YOU are not Sasami! Now ah-! . . . I'm giving you three seconds to get your hand off of my panties. One . . . LIME: Wow! You have a little slit thing between your legs like I do! Here, I'll show you! KSA(getting up): Lime stop it! You shouldn't to things like that to . . . (Notices that Ratchet is naked, and is under Lime who is almost naked.) GAH! (Has a nosebleed, and faints again.) PETER(pulling himself up): R-Ratchet? What's going on? (Sees Ratchet and Lime.) Hoooooo . . .( Has a nosebleed and faints as well.) RATCHET: Two . . . LIME: I feel funny when I touch my slit thing. Does it feel funny to you to? RATCHET: Thr-EEEEEEP! PRISS: Okay, let's stop this now, before Peter and Ksa bleed to death. RATCHET(shakily): Oh! Oh! P-Peter! Oh! Ah! AAH! LIME(also shakily): K-Ksa DAI SUKEEEEEEE!!! PETER(trying to speak, with a very bloody nose): Gah-*gurgle*-niff . . . KSA(unconscious): Haaamina-hamina-hamina- hamina . . . FILIA: *WHAM!* You were thinking it!!! LIME: Wait! We're not done wrestling yet! RATCHET(a bit distant): Yeah, we're not done yet . . . (At this point the blanket falls off, revealing Ayeka, Ranma, and Priss pulling Ratchet away from Lime, who is being lifted up by Rei, Filia, and Scimitar. Filia's mace can be seen sticking upright from Xelloss' seat.) AYEKA(noticing the camera): Ah great, the blanket fell off. B-ko! Pause the story, turn off that dang blasted camera, and send one of those cleaning robots in here! We have a lot of spilled blood! B-KO(next to Wasabi in the control booth): What the heck happened?! SCIMITAR: Don't ask! Just turn off that camera! WASABI: Okay, but you'd better explain why those two are nak- (Camera off. Camera on.) (The MST groups are all in their seats again. Peter has several sheets of paper towels rolled up under his nose, while Ksawarrior opted for the more traditional box of tissues.) PETER(nose slightly clogged): Interesting girl you have, Ksa. KSA(tissues up his nostrils): Nike you're one noo nalk! LIME: That was fun! It was really, really exciting! I wish you could've felt it, Ksa! KSA(tissues knocked out of nose by renewed nosebleed): Ah! Ah-hah . . . Ahgah . . . (Quickly uses a handful of tissues to stop off the bleeding.) Ah, I kind of wish I could have felt it to, Lime. (Notices that Filia, Priss, and Rei are glaring at him.) Kind of . . . LIME: When can I do that again, Ksa? KSA(noticing that Ayeka, Scimitar, and Ranma are also glaring at him now): A long, LONG, long, long time from now, Lime. LIME(a little disappointed): Oh . . . (Perks up.) Ratchet-Chan! Thanks for wrestling with me! Can I keep your panties?! RATCHET(smiling, and leaning a little closer to Peter): Only if you let me keep yours in return, Lime-Chan! LIME: WAI! Thank you Ratchet-Chan! RATCHET(flirting): That's okay with you, isn't it Peter? ^_^ PETER(pulling out another paper towel, to help hold off his nosebleed): Ah. I guess . . . it's all right . . . PRISS(disgruntled): Let's just finish watching the fic, already. >After about three minutes they where both naked and >felling each other up! RANMA(unhappily to B-ko and Wasabi): Couldn't you two skip till after all of this was over?! B-KO: No we couldn't! You're not getting out of this THAT easily, and besides, we're going to be watching it with you this time in case of any more problems. WASABI(to B-ko): We are? B-KO: Yes we are. And stop whimpering like that. It's annoying. >"Mmmmmmmm Sasami!" Misao >moaned. "Ooooooh Misao!" Sasami moaned. KSA, PETER, & XEL(singing): Aaaaaaay Macarena! >Misao was >licking Sasami's breasts with gentle licks, almost teasing >her naked friend. PRISS(to Tank Cop): GET IT THROUGH YOUR STUPID SKULL!!! EVEN IF SHE COULD LACTATE, IT WOULD BE MONTHS BEFORE SHE EVEN HAD ANYTHING RESEMBLING BREASTS!!!! >Sasami returned the favor by putting her >hand down and gentle rubbing Misao's outer pussy lips. LIME: Why is she rubbing a cat's lips? RANMA(shaking in fear): DON'T SAY THE "C" WORD!!! LIME: What was THAT about? KSA(exasperated): I'll explain later. >"Mmmmmmmm oh so good!" Misao says. PETER: I'd sue for plagiarism, but then I'd have to do the same for almost fifty other lemons to come out in the last year or so. >After another few minutes it started to get more intense. RANMA: Intense! Obscure! Action! PRISS: Good. We don't have to see much. >Sasami made Misao lie on the bed with her head dwon on >the pillow and her pretty ass sticking out. AYEKA: Oh look at the pretty donkey! (The other MST group members stare nervously at her.) I can make silly comments if I want to. >"Your going to love this Misao." Sasami said RATCHET(Misao): Really? Why thank you, it's just what I've always wanted! It will go great with my left, and anything else following something that should be shown with a "You are" or "You're"! >as she gave Misao's ass a >few playful swats, then bent down and opened her ass >checks and started to lick Misao's asshole! ALL: EEEEEEEW!! >"Hmmmmmm!" >Misao moaned as she was over taken with pleasure. Then >after Sasami gets her friends ass all moist PETER: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, and I wrote a fic where Ayeka had Ryoko's love-child! AYEKA: WHAT!?! PETER(to Ayeka): Don't worry, It's nice and waffy in some parts. AYEKA: That does not help my feelings, any. >Sasami moves >down to her young friends tender pussy. "Oh my godness. >Misao your pussy is just so wet and it smells like sweet >perfume!" Sasami said. XEL(salesman): Try Sasami's new "Sweet Fish" scented perfume! (Slapped by Filia.) *slap!* Hey! FILIA(Exile from "Road Rovers"): Don't be weird boy. XEL: Like you're one to talk. (Buffaloed by Filia's mace.) *BONK!* Ow! >Misao was blushing. Then Sasami >puts two fingers into Misao's pussy and opened her pussy >lips a little so Sasami can get her mouth to fit around her >friends now exposed pussy. PETER: Her mouth can already fit around it! Read an anatomy chart, Tank Cop! >Sasami gave Misao's outer >pussy lips a little teasing lick, then went to the main goal. >She licked very slowly up and down Misao's pussy and clit. >"Oh yes, oh Sasami please don't stop! Please make me >come!" Misao begged. RATCHET: Unfortunately for Misao, Sasami thought she said "Finish quickly and have a snack". >Taking her time Sasami moved >slowly as to make it more intense for both. PRISS: Intense! Redundant! Action! >Later on after Misao's second climax. RANMA, RYOGA, & SCIMITAR(Singing fish from "Eureka's Castle"): A few hours later! >She wanted to help >to do something for Sasami too. So Misao turned on her >back and got Sasami to lie on top her with her face in her >pussy. They where going to 69 each other. (Lime is paying a little too much attention to what is going on now, and Ratchet is alternating between watching the screen, looking at Peter, and glancing from time to time in Lime's direction.) >They got into >postion with Sasami on top and Misao underneth her. Then >they got started. AYEKA: Well here is why Tank Cop always has to substitute his periods for question marks! He used up all of his periods in this paragraph, when he really did not need to! >Sasami keep licking on Misao's pussy and >taking nibbles on Misao's clit from time to time. While Misao >was using a different way of pleasuring her firend, she was >using her two fingers to make her young friends love box >get all wet! "Ooooh Misao!" Sasami moaned. "OooooH >Sasami!" Misao moaned. PETER(actually singing on key for once): Ooooooook-lahoma! . . . >This counties for another hour or so PRISS(hick accent): Then the counties goin' be blowed up by that dern nuclear reactor! SCIMITAR(ditto): Dern fool kids. >. They had multiple >climaxes over that period. Misao alone had four and >Sasami had three. RANMA(sports announcer): But wait! Sasami gains another climax, and now it's neck and neck as they pull into the stretch! >They where near there next climax when >the door opened! RATCHET(dramatic close up music): Dunt- dunt-dunn!! >They both looked to the door and froze >when they saw both Ryo-Ohki and Rumiya starring at them >with stunned looks on the faces, no to mention the drool >coming out of there mouths! PETER & RANMA(Ryo-Ohki and Rumiya): We're brain dead! RYOGA: No kidding. (gets whapped by both Peter and Ranma) *WHAP!-WHAP!* OW! >"Tsk, tsk, look at these two >bad girls Ryo-Ohki." Rumiya said. "I see them Rumiya. >What do you think we should do with these naughty girls?" >Ryo-Ohki asked. KSA: OH MY GOD! He actually managed to put "asked" in the right form! AYEKA(Rumiya): How about we send them to bed with no supper! RATCHET (Ryo-Ohki): Oh wait. They're already IN bed, and they've already had their supper . . . >"Well they did make a complete mess of >my bed, but I think a good and very hard fucking will teach >them a lesson." Rumiya said with a big smile on his face. RANMA: Well if he just said "with a big smile on his face" then why did you put the rest of that stuff in quotation marks? >"I total agree with you Rumiya." Ryo-Ohki said PETER(Ryo-Ohki as Ed Grimly): I like totally agree with you, I must say. >then they both >went towards there two pretty and cum covered girls with >the intent on making hard love! PRISS: Ouch! Tough loving. >*Ten Years Later* KSA & PETER(Rumiya & Ryo-Ohki): This marriage is suffocating me! >It has been ten years since Misao and Sasami gave birth to >there kids. AYEKA: They now spend all their free time going to schools, telling of the dangers of premarital preteen sex, using their own lives as examples. >Sasami and Ryo-Ohki's daughter look a little like >both of them. Naori has her mother's hair color and style, >and her mothers looks. Her dad's ears and his eyes. ALL: Uh-oh. AYEKA: I wonder if that raised any questions at the hospital. REI: I'm surprised they didn't call animal control. >She >has kind of a tail that looks very cute, for a ten year old! >She is a very curious girl with a love for life. LIME: Does that mean she's like me? RATCHET: Only in personality. LIME: Oh . . . Is that good or bad? >Misao and Rumiya's son Reiko has his dad's looks and hair >color. He has his mothers strength and lust for life. (Both MST groups fall out of their seats, in uproarious laughter.) >He is a >strong willed kidwith a great sense of kindness. PRISS: How? >It has been a great ten years. ALL(sarcastically): Sure it has! >In that time the Magical >Kingdom of Juria REI: I believe that it is supposed to be "Juriahelm". >has fluoresced under the joint control of >Tsunami and Ramia, PETER: Well, when they're not fighting, plotting against one another, forcing young girls to take on magical powers, and potentially anthropomorphic side-kicks who inspire horrible lemons such as this one . . . >peace on Earth is nearly at hand. Yet >there are still forces that threaten peace and love. RYOGA: RANMA THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! RANMA: Prove it. RYOGA: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR REASONS THAT WILL COME TO ME AT SOME OTHER POINT IN TIME, BUT IT'S STILL ALL YOUR FAULT!!! >Now that >both Sasami and Misao are in college and AYEKA: trying to raise a family, as they continuously wonder if other wives have to change their husband's litter boxes. >Rumiya and >Ryo-Ohki are members of the Jurian Council, they have >little time to deal with that, but there kids can do it. RATCHET(Naori): But mommy! I don't wanna be a superhero! That outfit sucks on toast! PRISS(Sasami): I know it sucks dear, but I'm in college now, and why would I want to risk my life to save the world, when my ten year old, inexperienced daughter who goes to the vet instead of the pediatrician, can handle the job now? PETER(ditto): Now take that wand, go out there, and stop peeing on the rug damnit! I just cleaned that spot up! >As is >custom, Sasami and Misao have pasted there powers >down to there kids, AYEKA: Traumatizing Misao's son, for the rest of his life. RANMA: Poor guy didn't have that far to go. RYOGA(Reiko): Feathers! I have feathers!! AIIIIEEEE!!! >yet keep a little power to themselves if >they ever need it. PRISS: Oh yeah, their kids would only need it for dire life or death emergencies, anyway. >Now it is up to Naori and Reiko to fight for >love and justice, not to mention having some good sex >when there not to busy! PETER: Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! No sequel setup! PLEASE!!! >End >------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------ >-- PETER: Come on. Say it's over. Say it's over . . . AYEKA: We want this to end, once in for all. RANMA: Stop the insanity. Stop the insanity. PRISS(praying): Please, oh please stop it now. RATCHET: End, you wretched piece of toilet trash. KSA'S GROUP: End, dammit! B-KO & WASABI(chanting): End. End. End. End . . . >Well that's it....its over. ALL(partying): YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Streamers, balloons, and confetti rain down from the top of the theater.) >Well I had a lot of fun doing this >series. I hope you all, my fan's enjoyed it too. AYEKA: I have no idea who your fans are, but we enjoyed you telling us that it was over. >I only hope >my future fics are just as good. PRISS: Actually I hope that your future fics are better than this one! In fact, I KNOW they will be better, because YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY MAKE ONE THAT IS WORSE!!! OTHERS: PRISS!!!!!!! PRISS: . . . . Oops . . . >But none will compare to >the joy I had making this one. RATCHET: Weeee'll just ignore that line, thank you very much. >If anyone would like a picture of Naori or Reiko please E- >mail me. I am the only one who can give you those >pictures. SCIMITAR: Thank Oyaji-sama for that. >I would like to thanks you all my fans for your support of my >fics PETER(Tank Cop): Unfortunately my spelling will be too terrible for you to understand. >and I will continue to do my best to bring great fics to >this site. RANMA(to Tank Cop): Why are you bringing other people's fics to this site? >I would also like to invite everyone to vist my >Digimon web site at >http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/tanktonydigimo nmangas >Its a Yahoo club site. PETER: Most likely deleted by now, for content. >Free membership and a lot of super >cool Hentai Manga made by my good friend and co-owner >Anthony. AYEKA: Anthony despises humanity, and takes out his frustrations by helping Tank Cop. >He also makes my Digimon lemons into Manga's. RATCHET: We've seen them. PRISS: They suck. SCIMITAR: Like a black hole. >Well until the next Tenchi Muyo lemon. >Farewell and always fallow what you beleive in no matter >what. PETER: Quick-Fire, everyone! AYEKA: I believe that Tank Cop should learn how to spell words such as "straight", "strength", "stupid", and "believe". RANMA: I believe that Tank Cop should be ostracized by anyone, and everyone who reads his fics. PRISS: I believe that Tank Crap should print out every one of his fics, crumple them up into a big ball, and cram them up his- PETER: I believe that my Sasami lemon is better than your Sasami lemon, T.C. RATCHET: I believe that TV shows DID air last night, and no one can say otherwise. (Everyone glances at Ratchet, nervously.) What? KSA: I believe that Tank Cop is actually a perverted five-year old with dreams of conquest. LIME: I believe Tank Cop should be thrown to Hanagata for this. SCIMITAR: I believe that there should be an 8th deadly sin. Thou shall not actually think Tank Cop is a good person. REI: I believe that Tank Cop is actually an AI spawned from the bad fiction on the net, ala the Puppet Master from Ghost in the Shell. RYOGA: I believe we can all say we've seen a preview of hell, thanks to Tank Cop. XEL & FILIA: I believe that Tank Cop would taste good raw. (they both stare at each other nervously) >Tank Cop ^_~ PETER(to Tank Cop): May you buy a Ford Explorer!!! KSA: Peter, that's being a little harsh. PETER: Sorry. He gets on my bad side. (The MST groups exit the theater.) Cue dramatic orchestra music- oh wait, this is text. Never mind. The linked crafts of the Anime Port, and the Turtlecraft approach the rather large asteroid, that has been found to be Dr. Wheelo's base. On the Anime Port, a side bay door opened. All the members of both MST groups stood, facing the asteroid. "You sure that's where he is?" asked Ranma. "It's where he took Ratchet and Lime." Said B-ko. "And all of the transmissions came from this area." Said Wasabi. "You ready to go 'Super-Saya-Juraian', Ksa?" asked Peter. "Yes." Replied Ksawarrior, charging up his powers. "Scimitar, you ready to do some damage?" "Always." Said Scimitar. "Priss, you know the plan?" asked Peter. "Yeah." Said Priss, loading her assault rifle. "Ayeka provides shielding, while Ranma, Ryoga, and me take pot-shots at bubble brain's base, over there." "Popcorn?" asked Ratchet, passing a bag of popcorn to Lime. "Thanks!" said Lime, ready to watch the show, and stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth. "B-ko." Said Peter. "The radio-sonic microphone, please." B-ko hands Peter what appears to be an ordinary microphone, but when Peter speaks through it, the sound is broadcasted outside of the station. "HEY, 'DR. SKIDMARK'!!! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!! PUT DOWN THE TANK COP FICS, AND COME OUT WITH YOUR BRAIN UP!!!" Much to everyone's surprise, the upper third of the asteroid separated from the rest of it, and transformed into a very muscular bipedal form. And right where a Cyclops-like eye would have been, was the brain of Dr. Wheelo. "I'M HUGE!!!!!!!" said Dr. Wheelo, his voice containing more volume than emotion. And somewhere . . . a rimshot was heard. " . . . . Maybe we should try again, when he's in a better mood." Said Priss, looking a little pale. "Well, I don't care how big he is!" said Scimitar, clutching his ki-weapon. "The bigger they are, the more pieces they make!!!" "WHAT'S THE MATTER?!!!!!!! ARE YOU SCARED OF THE BIG-BAD-BRAIN, ALL OF A SUDDEN?!!!!!!!" taunted Dr. Wheelo. "I'M DISSAPOINTED!!!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE MORE GUTS THAN THAT!!!!!!!" "Let's look at your own guts, first!!!" shouted Scimitar, as he shot off toward Dr. Wheelo, like a speeding bullet. Ksawarrior went SSJ/J, and followed at about half of the speed Scimitar was going, having the unnerving sensation that this was too easy. "FOOLS!!!!!!!" said Dr. Wheelo, as a panel in his stomach opened up, revealing what looked like a crystal dodecahedron, with mystical runes carved into its surface. A transparent shield appeared around Dr. Wheelo, which Scimitar ran into like a bug on a windshield, with a loud splat. Ksawarrior stopped just short of ending up like Scimitar. The half god was currently floating around like a piece of paper, muttering curses under his breath. "A shield!?" exclaimed Ksawarrior. "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!" said Dr. Wheelo. "ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT!!!!!!! BEHOLD; THE PLOT CONTRIVANCE GEM!!!!!!! THIS LITTLE WONDER DEFIES ALL BOUNDRIES IN EVERY REALITY!!!!!!! EVEN A LEVEL XII SUPER SAYIAN COULD NOT PENETRATE THIS BARRIER!!!!!!! AND YOUR FLIMSY SELF INSERTION POWERS ARE USELESS AGAINST IT!!!!!!! TREMBLE IN FEAR, YOU PATHETIC FOOD CHAIN JUNKIES!!!!!!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- HA-HA!!!!!!!" "Oh yeah!?" said Scimitar, fully healed. "Well you forgot one thing!" "OH?!!!!!!!" said Dr. Wheelo. "AND WHAT IS THAT?!!!!!!!" "That's just a shield!" said Scimitar. "You can't attack, with it up!" *BE-TWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Without even lowering the shield, Dr. Wheelo shot a beam from the gem, sending Scimitar flying back toward the Anime Port. "INCOMING!!!!" shouted Ayeka, as everyone aboard the Anime Port ducked to avoid being hit by Scimitar's flying body. *WA-PANG!!!!!* *whud!* Xelloss prodded Scimitar's charred, and unmoving form, with a fork. "Ow." Said Scimitar. "Hmm . . . Only medium rare. He's still alive." Said Xelloss. Ksawarrior was flying circles around Dr. Wheelo, trying to find a weak point in the shield. He found none, and so decided to try hit-and-run tactics to wear Dr. Wheelo down. "You can't keep this up, forever!!!" Shouted Ksawarrior, launching chi blasts toward the seemingly invincible shield. "ODD!!!!!!!" remarked Dr. Wheelo, idly playing 'Chessmaster' on an oversized 'Game- Boy'. "I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING TO YOU!!!!!!!" It was then that Peter made a bold move. "I didn't want to use this if I had to. But it looks like I have no other choice." Said Peter, as he got up, and walked toward the open bay door. "Peter, what the heck do you think you're doing?" asked Priss. "I have one last trick I haven't used yet." Said Peter. "One that will hopefully save the day." "Oh wonderful." Quipped Ayeka. "Our fate rests in the hands of Peter Suzuki." "We're doomed." Said Rei. Peter stood at the bay door, took off his glasses (What? You didn't know I wore glasses? Well shame on you, then! - - Peter Suzuki.), and pointed toward Dr. Wheelo. For one brief moment, the fight stopped. And all eyes turned toward the fan fiction writer. Peter took in a deep breath, and said his three mystical words . . . "Pull my finger." ### In a world beyond comprehension, Lady Tokimi was startled out of her daily bubble bath, by the sounds of several people face- faulting at once. Hard. ### Everyone but Peter had fallen face first into their respective floors. Dr. Wheelo's shield was still up, though. Peter chuckled to himself, and scratched the back of his head. "Heh. Sorry about that. Just wanted to get in one last joke, before I used my last trick." Peter took in an even deeper breath, and began to glow as he spoke. "I summon the light within me! To punish the chaos, and bring order back to where it should be! PERSONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Peter's body became shadowed out of view, and an astral form appeared over him. A form consisting of many different things, from many different Anime and RPG worlds. The body from the neck down looked like silver Dragoon armor from "Legend of Dragoon", but the helmet resembled something of a "Gundam" nature. At one side was a laser pistol, with a skull-and-crossbones carving on both sides of its wooden handle. On his other side rested a sword hilt, with no scabbard. It did not need one. Light brown eyes glowed from the helmet, as Peter's now booming voice spoke. "I AM BAHAMUT: LORD OF ALL GOOD DRAGONS, AND PUNISHER OF THOSE WHO DARE TO DEFILE WHAT MUST BE!!!!!!!" The group members aboard the Anime Port, watched this all, amazed at what was happening. "I always thought Bahamut would look a little more dragon-like." Said Filia. Peter/Bahamut pointed toward Dr. Wheelo. "THOU HAST CHOOSEN TO BUILD SOMETHING INTENDED TO STOP THE ULTIMATE RULE OF ALL ANIMATION OF ANY GENERE!!!!!!!" "AND WHAT MAY THAT BE, INSOLENT WHELP?!!!!!!!" said Dr. Wheelo, unimpressed. "THE ONLY BOUNDRY IN ANY STORY, GREAT OR SMALL, IS THE AMOUNT OF SPIRIT ITS CREATOR IS WILLING TO PUT INTO IT!!!!!! NO SOUL HAS THE RIGHT TO ATTEMPT TO CONTROL THAT ONE SIMPLE TRUTH, BE IT SELF INSERTION OR OTHERWISE!!!!!!! THY ASS SHALL BURN IN HADES FOR THINE ATTEMPTED BLASPHAMY!!!!!!!" Peter/Bahamut pulled out his weapons. "DEFEND THYSELF!!!!!!!" "MEDDLESOME INSECT!!!!!!!" said Dr. Wheelo, launching another blast. "YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO DIE!!!!!!!" *BE- TWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* "I CALL THE LIGHT!!!!!!!" shouted Peter/Bahamut, swinging the sword handle, which suddenly flared to life with a blade of pure light. Dr. Wheelo's blast was deflected into the neither regions of space. The Persona was not done there, as he took careful aim with his laser pistol, and fired. *ZA-POW!!!!!!!* "CAN'T YOUR UNDEVELOPED BRAIN UNDERSTAND?!!!!!! NOTHING CAN PENETRATE MY SHIE- *kra-WABANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" The laser blast not only pierced through the shield, it crashed through the PC-gem, and through the other side of the shield before it shattered completely. "IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!! NOTHING COULD PENETRATE MY SHIELD!!!!!!! NOTHING!!!!!!!" "PERFECT SHOT!!!!!!!" said Peter/Bahamut. "THE 'COSMO-DRAGOON' PEIRCES ANYTHING!!!!!!!" The Persona suddenly disappeared, leaving in its wake a very tired looking Peter. Blood trickled from his mouth, as he collapsed to the floor. "Peter!" cried Ratchet, as she rushed to Peter's side. "Now we'll see how tough you are, without your stupid shield!!!" shouted Ksawarrior, fully powered, and ready to take on anything. "I AM MORE THAN CAPABLE OF HANDLING YOU!!!!!!!" said Dr. Wheelo, quickly recovering from the shock of having his plans crumble before his very cerebellum. "I DON'T CARE HOW POWERFUL YOUR SPIRIT IS!!!!!!! YOU'RE IN MY WORLD NOW, NOT SOME SILLY STORY OF YOURS!!!!!!!" "Ksa!" shouted Peter, coughing up a bit up blood in the process. "You can take him! You're more powerful than anything that piece of nerve endings could come up with! Use something more powerful than you've ever used before!" "Gotcha," Ksawarrior said. "Alright, let's do this!!!" With those words, Ksawarrior took off, making a beeline for Dr. Wheelo's head. Suddenly, the shoulders, thighs, and arms of the mad brain's machine opened up, revealing enough missiles capable of making a pilot from Macross/Robotech blink. *FWIISH!!! FWIISH!!! FWIISH!!! FWIISH!!! FWIISH!!! FWIISH!!! etc!!!" "Eeeeep!" Ksawarrior cried as he swung upwards and ducked back under, dodging a volley of rockets. They all swung around, following him. "KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." he began, putting his hands together at his right hip. Dr. Wheelo looked down as Ksawarrior lead the missiles up his leg. "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." Wheelo placed his hands in front of his forehead. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." A ball of blue chi began to build between Ksawarrior's palms. "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- Huh?!" Ksawarrior noticed something odd. "MASENKOU!!!!!!!" Wheelo yelled, as a bolt of yellow chi shot down towards the Saiya-jin. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Ksawarrior yelled, firing his blast.. ..which was dispelled by the Masenkou. It collided into him, sending him backwards towards the missiles that were following him. * BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *SHAKA-LAKA!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* *BOOM!!!* Ksawarrior crashed into a small asteroid, bloody and beaten. "*COUGH! HAAK!*" he coughed, spitting up some blood. His visor was shattered, and his eyes were flickering between bright blue and light brown, as he kept fluctuating between his regular and Super forms. "Since when could you do chi attacks?!" he asked. "FOOL!!!!!!! YOU THINK I DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU CAN DO?!!!!!!!" Wheelo's voice boomed. His hand came crashing down onto the asteroid.. ..however, Ksawarrior had jumped off, going Super again. "Well, time for some tricks I don't use!" he yelled. He shot up along the robot's torso, his right fist pulled back. "SHORYUKEN!!" he cried, striking the chin with Ryu's infamous uppercut. As the large form rose upwards from the hit, Ksawarrior twisted around, his foot on fire with blue ki. "CRACK SHOOTER!!" he yelled, his foot connecting, causing Dr. Wheelo to spin from Terry Bogard's kick. The Super Saiya-jin/Jurain pulled back, spirit energy gathering around his index finger. "REI GUN!!!" Yusuke's attack from Yu Yu Hakusho fired at the face, cracking the glass that Dr. Wheelo's brain was hidden inside. "I think I got him," Ksawarrior panted. Suddenly, both hands clapped on him from both sides, as if they were squashing a bug. Blood shot upwards as Ksawarrior felt some ribs crack. Wheelo then punched him, sending him flying towards the Anime Port. He hit his head on the hull, and just began to float. Almost lifelessly. "NOW, TO FINISH YOU ALL IN ONE SHOT!!!!!!!" the insane brain yelled out, both giant hands charging up to fire. *KA-ZMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!* A large red beam shot out, heading towards the joined ships. "Holy." Ranma gasped. "Here it comes!" Scimitar yelled, powering up in an attempt to try to block it. "I shall assist you." Rei said, her AT field powering up. "As will I," Ayeka added, her shield units already sparking under the sheer amount of energy emanating from the beam. Ryoga and Ranma began charging up their chi attacks. "Xelloss," Filia said, her hand reaching to the Mazoku, "I have something to tell you." "Shhh," Xelloss hushed, his hand gripping hers, "I know." The beam barreled down on them, about to obliterate the first thing in its path. The first thing, at this rate, would be Lime, who looked at Ksawarrior's limp body. "KSA!!!" she screamed. Suddenly, a golden blur shot down before it could do serious harm. "NEVER!!" Ksawarrior yelled as his fist connected with the beam, redirecting it upwards. "EVER!!" His fist began to glow as his rage reached its peak. "THREATEN MY FRIENDS!!" Suddenly, his arm exploded in golden light, and he flew forward, his right fist first. Punches and kicks were flying as the street fighting author from the Middle East [You didn't know that? What do you think KSA stands for? - Ksawarrior] unleashed the ultimate can of whoop-ass on Dr. Wheelo. "This is for fanfiction readers!!!" *KA-BAM!!!* A right hook. "This is for Ratchet!!!" *ZA-POW!!!* A right roundhouse kick. "This is for Peter!!!" *ZA-SAAASHHH!!!* A chi empowered double strike with both hands. "This is for Lime!!!" *KRACK!!!* A back-flip kick. "And this," he yelled, ascending above Dr. Wheelo, "THIS IS FOR ME!!!" Suddenly, beams of light began to stretch out towards him, absorbing into his body. "KSA SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS FINAL ATTACK!!!" he yelled. "CHOU DENSETSU HOUOU KEN!!!!!!! [translation: Super Legend Phoenix Fist] Ksawarrior's battle aura took on the shape of a fiery bird, his fist leading the way as its head. "OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIII-!!!!!!!" Dr. Wheelo screamed out as the Ksawarrior tore through the upper torso of his robot. The head snapped off, while the body exploded. Ksawarrior didn't stop there, as he flew straight through Wheelo's asteroid base, causing it, and the Tank Cop fics inside, to blow sky-high. ### Lady Tokimi lowered herself into her bubble-bath, content with the sound of countless fanfiction fans celebrating. ### "I'LLLLLLLLLLLLL BBEEEEEEEEEEEEE BAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . . ." said Dr. Wheelo's mechanical head, as it, and the brain inside of it, went flying into the unknown territories of the universe. Ksawarrior breathed a sigh of relief, and flew back to the Anime Port. Peter was now unconscious, but otherwise okay, what with Ratchet caring for him and all. And there was someone who was really happy to see that Ksawarrior was alive and well, too. "KSA! DAI SUKE!!" *GLOMP!* "AAK! Good to see you too, Lime." Said Ksawarrior, returning the hug. @@@ Hours later, all repairs are made, all bones are mended, and the two MST groups are ready to once again go their separate ways. But. Just as they were about to separate the two vessels, Wasabi's computer started beeping, as if the phone was ringing. "Don't get that." Said Rei. "It could be Dr. Wheelo, again." Said Ayeka. Not hearing either of them, Ranma walked over, and picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Meow!" chimed the phone. "GAH!!! C-C-C-C-CAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!" Ranma fainted on the spot. "No, that means we have a voice mail sent to us!" said Wasabi, as he pressed a few buttons on his keyboard. Much to everyone's unhappiness, Dr. Wheelo's voice was heard, with ocean waves and seagulls in the background. *Greetings, uneducated miscreants. As you may have guessed by now, I have survived.* ### Dr. Wheelo's brain case is in a lounge chair, on a sunny beach, with several expensive looking hotels in the background. The brain jar has a small stripe of sun lotion on the front, a small table with a glass of pink lemonade by its side, a cellular phone right next to the glass, and an oversized pair of sunglasses on its front. All of this is under a big umbrella that has "Beach Brain" printed on it, in bright red letters. "Although my unexpected crash landing on an inhospitable, and unknown planet has left me detained for the time being, you can be assured that I am going to continue to send you terrible fan fiction stories, as I had previously stated. Your powers in spirit may be impressive, but I can break that same spirit with these experiments, and conquer you all. I have waited for many years, and I can wait quite a few more." ### *You will all bow down before my superior intellect. Sincerely; Wheelo.* Finished the voice mail. *You have been charged $3.45, for accepting this collect call.* announced a computerized operator's voice. *Have a nice day.* "Somehow, I don't think we came out on top." Said Ryoga. @@@ As the MST groups flew away, to their respective destinations, Ksawarrior flipped on the radio, hoping to take his mind off of what transpired that day. *click* "And in other news, a hurricane unexpectedly hit Florida earlier this afternoon. Scientists are puzzled about this phenomenon, as there was very little indication of the storm, before it hit. Witnesses to the devastation claim to have seen an Unidentified Flying Object, resembling a brain inside of a glass container of some sort, flying about aimlessly in the strongest winds. Further reports claim that this UFO, was somehow screaming for help, as it flew by on a number of occasions." Scimitar smiled, looked up at the ceiling, and quietly said, "Thanks Oyaji- sama." Rei turned toward Lime, and said, "Would you take those off of your head! You look ridiculous!" "But they're a present from Ratchet- chan!" Lime argued. "Still, Lime, they look rather silly on your head." Scimitar said. "Maybe Ksa can show you where to put them." Xelloss commented with a smirk. *KA-BONG!* Ksawarrior and the others sweatdropped as Filia started cackling, while wearing a Zorro-like outfit, and swinging a large guitar. "I'll phone the guys in white coats." Said Wasabi, leaving to find a phone. End of the document. ANIME PORT'S REVIEWS: PETER: Finally, it's over! Now I can get back to reading ACTUAL work! RATCHET: It's over! It's over! YAHOO!! PRISS: It sucked. All of it. RANMA: There! You're done! Now go away, and leave us alone! AYEKA: Get! Scat! Go away! KSAWARRIOR'S GROUP REVIEWS: KSA: I'll be honest. There is one good thing about your fics. When they finish. SCIMITAR: May your hands be incapacitated for several months, eliminating all chances of you writing for awhile. REI: Alright, you've finished it. Now hurry up and die. RYOGA: You do understand, if I meet you on the street, only one of us will walk away breathing. LIME: I've looked at it from different angles, and I still think you should jump out a window. XEL: To sum it up, you're a plague on this dimensional realm. FILIA: Trust me, you don't want to know my opinion. Author's notes: Ksawarrior: Wow! I didn't actually think I could pull this off. Thankfully, due to my determination, (and constant heckling from fans who want Tank Cop "very dead", as one said) I managed to stick with Peter through to the end. Also, a little message for Tank Cop. STOP E-MAILING ME IN AN ATTEMPT TO TRY TO MAKE ME THINK YOU'RE A GOOD WRITER!! IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!! EVER!!! Peter Suzuki: If you're wondering why I haven't been MSTing lately, there's several very good reasons for that. 1) I've been very busy with college. 2) My dad stepped on my computer disk during summer vacation, making it impossible to retrieve the MST I've been working on. 3) I've had writer's block in the MST department since September. And 4) I'm working on some Ranma « fan fiction stories. I hope this clears up all of your questions about me and my work. And please stop harassing me to MST something. I'm working on it! Also, keep in mind this work contains my first purely NON Tenchi MST. What do you think? Eyecatch aka the Stinger: (We kinda felt it'd be good to take a few bad sentences, along with our comments from every Tank Cop fic we've both MSTed. Here we go!) Sammy's Little Secret 1: >"Thanks for coming. I thought for a while you wouldn't come." PETER(waving towards the readers): Goodnight everybody. Kain's Revenge: >"Sasami its me the bad dream of >yours, its time to die!" Rei: Who introduces themselves as, 'the bad dream'? A Matter of Life and Death: >"When I find the >Son-of-a-Bitch that did this to Sasami, I will rip his or her Fucking head >off and stick it on a poll outside the house! (The MSTers all chuckle at the thought of Tank Cop's head on a pole) Sammy's Little Secret 2: >This was a very big turn on for the >little Cabbit. It was so intence the he also masturbated! ALL: . . . . . . . . Sammy's Little Secret 3: >"Birdy why aren't you singing? If there's >anything else you want to do you can do it." Misao said. ALL(singing): Bad joke! Bad joke! Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they pun for you?! . . . Sammy's Little Secret 4: >They rang the bell. The door opened, then to there >surprise they saw Ryo-Ohki in human form dressed only in a pair of white underpants! PRISS(throwing up into a vomit bag): *UUUUUUUUGH!* AYEKA(Ryo-Ohki): Has anyone seen my clothes? Mimi's Nightmare: >Ogermon was naked with the biggest dick she had ever seen. It was far to big >to fit in her! RATCHET: He then fainted from the amount of blood needed to sustain the erection. Matt's Revenge: >"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP SORA!" Matt yelled PETER(Tai): Hey, what's going on over there!? KSA(Matt): Uh, nothing!! PETER(Tai): Really!? It sounds like you're trying to rape Sora, or something! KSA(Matt): I said it was nothing!! Sammy's Little Secret 5: >"I'm pregnant!" Misao says. KSA: I beg your pardon?!