Except for Turbo Magnus and the Anime Star, nothing used in this story is my property. I'm not paying to use the characters, nor am I making money from them. You might notice that it is now Leena instead of Lena, turns out I made a spelling mistake. I do not apologize to the authors of the MSTed fics because frankly... *Checks job description* Yep, pissing them off is part of my job alright! Anime Star MSTs #7 MST Special #1 By: Turbo Magnus The decision of Washu to leave the crew weighed on Jay's shoulders as he sat in the Anime Star's Sick Bay. She had important experiments to work on, plus the sickness of the last few fics had hit her hard. Except for the typical hardheadedness of a starship captain, I'd say you're fit as a fiddle and almost as fine-tuned. The Medical Hologram of Leonard H. McCoy said. Thanks ‘Bones'. Just remind me never to pick a fight with Leena again, Jay Magnus, Captain of the Anime Star, said as he got off the diagnostic bed, She took my ass, kicked it, and handed it back to me on a silver platter. ^Bridge to Magnus. Yo Jay, we got a communication coming from some guy saying he launched that probe two days ago.^ Dammit! Hoag, stall and trace, I'm on my way! Jay cursed as he rocketed out the doors and ran for the turbolift. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On his way to the bridge he met up with Relena Darlian, his first officer, who was also running to the bridge, Jay, what's going on? Shock if I know, I'm just the captain. As the black garbed Prince of Zeon and the Sank Kingdom princess burst onto the bridge and saw the face on the main viewsceen, they skidded to a shocked stop Jay was the first to recover, YOU!!! Zeall laughed, What's the matter Magnus? Surprised to see one of your old ‘partners in crime and every other imaginable insane act'? When Relena regained her voice, she spoke, Zeall! Or should I say Megiddo? What do you want? Just to give two of my good friends and worst enemies a gift... [[[I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me.]]] TWO OF THE WORST LEMONS EVER WRITTEN!!! MWAHAHAHA! Zeall ended the transmission laughing. The crew started for the theater, but Jay stopped them, This is our fight this time. Besides, I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of Zeall Maxwell... Trowa put his hand on Jay's shoulder, Court-martial me if you want, but we are a team and I don't let my teammates down. This got affirmative nods from Jok, Leena, Crow, and Tom. Then don't blame me if you can't take it. [Jay enters the code to bypass the door sequence] [fic starts] HOAG(PR): AniMSTer Roll Call: TROWA: Doom. JOK(Megabyte): Close file, and delete LEENA: Destroy. TOM: Hurt. CROW: Rip limb from limb. RELENA: One way trip to hell... JAY: Korosu Shinji The 10 o'Clock Assassin, alias Purge Raizah Terror-Dack-Chill and Mobile Otaku Band. TOM: YOU, are an insult to TRUE Otakus EVERYWHERE! As well as Temple Of Teal-Dressed Goddess, Rolento's Evil Mission, Team Yagami, Izumi Maki Fanclub, and Society To Prevent Cruelty To Shinji Ikari LEENA(Machine gun in hand): Now cruelty to Purge Raizah on the other hand... tyree3@pacbell.net This is a rewrite of this fanfic. Thanks to Shade and Spencer Trace for catching my mistakes. TROWA: Too bad no one was there to correct your parents' mistake: You. WARNING: This fanfic contains SEX! Viewer's discretion is strongly advised. All the characters portrayed in this fanfic are 18 years or older. ALL OF THEM!!! JAY(Charging one mother of a Rouga Fuufuu Ken): They had better be... Oh! And the "Lemon Commandment" of Incest has been broken! JAY: Sister/Brother, ok. Anything else, you die. JOK: Why's Sis/Bro ok? JAY: I'm a Super Taboo fan. The characters of Tenchi Muyo belong to AIC and Pioneer. * * * * * * * * * * * * 10-CHI CLAN TOM: It's TENCHI, not 10-CHI!!! "The Quickies" * * * * * * * * * * * * It's morning. The sun beats down upon the Masaki household as the alarm goes off in Tenchi's room. He opens his eyes and tries to focus them. Then he rolls over to find that he's not alone; Ryoko's right next to him, waking and totally naked. JAY: Stereotype in place. Ryoko: Good morning, Tenchi. [SHWING!!] TOM(Wayne Campbell): Claudia Schifer, we salute you. TOM/JAY(Wayne/Garth Algar): Sha-Wing. Tenchi: Oh no, Ryoko! Not in the middle of the morning! JOK(Tenchi): I've got a headache. LEENA(Ryoko): But I'M the one who's supposed to say I have a headache! *Rimshot* Ryoko: Yes, Tenchi. I want it... right... now... TOM(Ryoko): Give me... my... Aeka doll... *Sweatdrops for all* JAY(AJ Yeary): Riiight... Tenchi curses himself as he grabs Ryoko and slams his mighty Johnson into her. [[[WARNING! WARNING! THIS FIC IS OUT OF CHARACTER! REPEAT: THIS FIC IS OUT OF CHARACTER!]]] Never mind that, as soon as he's in, she's already lost deep in hyperspace, JAY: Hyperspace enhances telepathic abilities, so Washu should be feeling this... he thought. He just wants to get her off and be done with it... [SPLURRRT!!] LEENA: ARGH!!! MY EARS! I CAN'T HEAR!!! JOK(Reaches over and removes big globs of peanut butter from Leena's ears): Clean the peanut butter out of your ears. HOAG(PR): That was too bad to get a rimshot. *Jay plays a rimshot on Tom's head.* JAY: I didn't think so. TOM(Rubbing head): Don't DO that! Tenchi grabs some clean clothes and leaves his room. Ryoko's on the bed feeling as stoned as Mt. Everest without the snow. RELENA(Singing): Rocky Mountain music, fills my memorie-e-e-es. CROW(To Jay): You're a bad influence on her. JAY(To Crow, staring at Relena, smiling): *Sigh* Yeah... -=**=- LEENA: It's a Sinker. He goes into the nearest bathroom, but the door's locked. TOM: Then, a strange music plays... *Others do the Choo-choo-choo-choo thing* Aeka's screams are heard on Jurai, Zeon, Talji, and Vegeta as she is raped by NABUYUKI! *Jay and Tom do the ree-ree-ree-ree sound* Tenchi tries to break down the door and save her, but is stopped by Washu, who wants the sample one way or another! RELENA(Singing, Washu as Angelica from Rugrats: The Movie): One way, or another, I'm gonna have you. I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, from Tenchi's little Tenchi. CROW(To Jay): Like I said, you're a bad influence. JAY(To Crow): Look who's talking Mr. Tom and I were two of the original MSTers on the SOL. Suddenly the door gets opened from the inside. It's Aeka, the princess of Jurai, wearing only her bathrobe. Aeka: Oh, my apologies. The other washroom is still in repairs (from me and Ryoko fighting over you). Your father said it was okay to... CROW(Aeka): Get raped by you. [SHWING!!] Too late! Tenchi pushes her back into the bathroom and flings off her towel. TROWA: Unfortunately for him, in the time it took him to remove her bathrobe as well, Azaka and Kamidake appeared and fried him to ashes. He takes her by the thighs and slurps his tongue at her soft petals. LEENA(Aeka): This rose has thorns! This is not exactly what Aeka wanted... JAY: Dibison-excrement. Change that! This is what Aeka wanted all morning! CROW: The entire time she's known Tenchi more like it. Tenchi stuck his mighty Johnson into the princess's most sacred love canal. Her majesty was already gone. Her "Queen's English" TOM: Nitpicking, but shouldn't that be Empress' Jurian ? has been reduced to Latin, JAY(Smirking): You mean like this, Ego voluntas defendere quisquis ego amare"? JOK: You know Latin? JAY: I learned a little for a poem I wrote. to Greek, and finally to just prehistoric grunts. [SPLURRRT!!] Sigh... Tenchi took his shower. Then he puts on his day clothes, being careful not to awaken her royal highness from her royal high, and leaves the bathroom. -=**=- JAY: A light tank from Command & Conquer: Red Alert. Tenchi then goes downstairs, and then realizes not to make as much noise. Just then, a pair of mechanical "grab-bots" appear from out of nowhere and try to capture him. With squirrel-like LEENA: My god, so many ways you could have put it and you choose squirrel-like ... speed and agility Tenchi tries his best to defend himself from said attacks. But they were too powerful for him to handle. And he then gets dragged into Washuu's lab producing heavy protest. Shackled to a table within a darkened room, Tenchi soon catches a view of his kidnapper: Washuu, sporting the "Ritsuko Akagi (tm)" look. CROW: WOOHOO! SHE'S HOT! JAY: Dodon. *Jay calmly fires the finger blast used by Tao-pie-pie at Crow, knocking him off-line.* JOK: Ouch. JAY: Ouch indeed. I don't see why the Kamehameha is used more than the Dodon when the Dodon is actually the more powerful of the two... Washuu: I'm here to collect your sperm samples again, Tenchi. [SHWING!!] Tenchi doesn't have a choice at this matter. Washuu opens her nyloned legs wide to give him a view he'll never forget. ALL: BAAAAARRRRFFF! Then she frees his mighty Johnson from its cage and proceeds to submerse it into her tight pussy. Tenchi's cock doubles in size, and Washuu uses every known trick in the Universal Kama Sutra book to get him off. JOK: Is there really a Universal Kama Sutra? JAY(Smiling): Yep, Co-written by Urd, Washu, and a few others. Based on what they've came across in sexual encounters. I have a copy myself... CROW(Coming to): Really? What for? JAY: I know you guys hate it when I do this, but... Sore wa, himitsu desu! ^_^ His fuse goes short very quickly, and Washuu feels it as well. She pulls him out, grabs the bucket nearby, and performs fellatio over it. [SPLURRRT!! SPLURRT!!] Washuu: My-my, Tenchi. That's all you can give? CROW(Tenchi): WELL OF-FUCKING-COURSE THAT'S ALL I CAN GIVE, WHATTA THINK I AM, A SPERM BANK?!?! JAY(Washu as Deedee): No, ‘I' looks like this: I. *Facefaults, hard and many* Tenchi: I couldn't help it. Ryoko and Aeka got to me first. Washuu: Oh, damn my luck! -=**=- JOK: Mousse, after meeting a pissed off, mallet wielding Akane. Despite his morning troubles Tenchi manages to have some breakfast and be on his way to the city. Along the way he almost passes the Miho-Kiyo residence only to realize that he's suppose to pick up something from them. He knocks on their door... Kiyone: Who is it?! Tenchi: It's me, Tenchi! Mihoshi: Alright! It's Tenchi! Come on in! CROW(Tenchi): I've came enough today! And he does what he says, only to find out that the Miho-Kiyo duo are currently trying out the latest in summer swimwear! JOK: How convenient... [SHWING ONCE MORE!!] Mihoshi: Wow! Whatta big Johnson you got there! Kiyone: I guess we should do something about it. LEENA(Kiyone): Mihoshi, go get the katana. *The three human males cross their legs.* A coin gets tossed. Mihoshi calls for heads. The coin shows tails and Kiyone ends up giving him head. TOM: What? Tenchi's trapped within the world of total pleasure as she gives his mighty Johnson a tongue massage. [SPLURRRT!!] Kiyone's whole face was covered with his sticky, white cum. JOK(Kiyone): MIHOSHI! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! Kiyone: Mmmm... Delicious. ^_^ But I don't think we're done with you just yet. She then tells him to go over to Mihoshi, who was already getting herself ready for the ultimate in manhood. In no time he starts thrusting into her like a piston. His actions cause the beautiful scatterbrain... to actually start thinking rationally. JAY: Fluck da wahat? OTHERS: ??? JAY: Trans: What the Fuck? Kiyone is puzzled by this, but her train of thought is cut short as Tenchi returns the favor and gives her pussy a full tongue massage. After making her explode like a firecracker Tenchi leaves her gushing pussy and slushes his Johnson between her large, heaving breasts. RELENA: So he's doing Lily of The Valley? *The others, except Jay, are shocked.* CROW: I didn't think you had it in you. JAY: Oh, she can be perverted when she wants. [SPLURRRT ANOTHER TIME!!] With the two ravishing ladies tonguing themselves after a hot post-morning's orgy, Tenchi leaves their apartment with the thing he neaded: a new tube of Bengay and a bottle of "Painkillahz." TROWA: You will need painkillahz when we get a hold of you, Shinji. LEENA: And maybe some painkillers too! -=**=- RELENA: Jay after he has pissed off the ‘Mallet Nazi'. TOM: Who? JAY: Skuld. "My language is harsh! And coarse like the sands of time! You will be STRUCK! With a tidal wave of words!" Tenchi's at Tokyo University's History 5 JAY: IiE sHiN tEnChI!!! IiEeEeEeeee! *Faints* class watching a film about the Reformation, where Martin Luther and his followers take a stand against the spoiling of religion. After class Tenchi's about to leave when he hears a certain voice... CROW(The voice from Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi): "Tenchi! You are a loser! You are on a plate of Sashimi!" Sakuya: Afternoon, Ten-chan. [SHWING!!] LEENA: This guy has absolutely NO control over his hormones... Tenchi: AAACK!! Hi... Sakuya... Sakuya: (Comes over towards him.) Isn't it amazing! The past can be so cool once you take the opportu... (Notices his painful hard-on.) Tenchi... Let's go... ^_^; Sakuya takes Tenchi to the nearby cheap motel where she removes her panties from under her ravishingly short skirt. She leans on the wall as Tenchi, overdriven with lust, "Johnsonizes" her as well. Sakuya screams with pain as well as estacy, JAY(Mumbling, ala Ksa): Then she screams in Cocaine, followed by Pot. since she's not used to the immence "banging" like Tenchi's alien girlfriends were. But she loves him SO much that she allows him to do TOM: As Jay would say, Dibison-Excrement! SPOILERS FOR SHIN TENCHI!!! RELENA: Why warn them? TOM: Union rules. Sakura was created by Yuugi to lure Tenchi into various traps and to keep him separate from the rest of the Misaki household and thus weaken them because they draw power from one another. At the end of New No Need for Heaven and Earth or Shin Tenchi Muyo, Sakura was erased from existence by Yuugi and only appeared again as part of Yuugi's mind. Crow: Fanboy... anything he wants to her, knowing that his mighty Johnson can get both of them off. [SPLURRRT!!] Afther about an hour of this, Tenchi and Sakuya left the motel promising to meet (and screw) again. -=**=- RELENA: A Dragon Fang dagger. Maybe the rest of the day will... Aw, screw it! JAY(Waking up, BW Megatron): You have already done so six times, yessss... Tenchi thought as a Ryo-Ohki-style spaceship hovers over his head. He tries to run, but he's immediately captured by the ship's tractor beam. TOM: A tractor? Why not a lawnmower? Tenchi's soon shackled (Again?) to a cross in the center of a dark room where infamous bounty hunter Nagi conjures up a way of using him as bait for Ryoko. For some reason she has the heat up too high. JAY: Ladies, Gentlemen, and Robots, we have here a graduate of the Tank Cop College of Plot Devices. So she decides to remove her black cloak. She ends up revealing to poor Tenchi her ravashingly slender body wearing a see-through fabric nightgown. JOK: ACK! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!! [SHWING!!] Nagi smirks at the large bulge in his pants, deciding to have a little fun. LEENA(Nagi): Time to play ‘Slice the Salami!' MALES: (Cross their legs, wince, and barf.) She strikes down upon her prey like an eagle and shoves his painfully mighty Johnson into her. She manages to get it all in despite the immence pain caused from such manhood as his. CROW: If that's manhood, then the rest of the male gender are gods. But it looks like it's Tenchi's turn to be lost in hyperspace. TOM(Starfury Pilot): Epsilon Six to Babylon Control. I've lost the beacon, Babylon Control. Send he--*Static* [SPLURRRT...!!] Nagi has succeeded in making him explode into her. She allows herself to have an orgasm in front of him, to hear her cum as she drenches his mighty Johnson, mixing her liquid with his... TROWA: Now we should have a plot twist... Mitsuki: FREEZE!! You are under arrest! Come out with your hands out, NOW!! It's Mitsuki in her Galaxy Police ship. It seems that Nagi has spent too much time in the "No Spaceship Docking Zone." Nagi: Damn...! -=**=- LEENA: A Zabat flying upside down. Mitsuki: Are you alright? Tenchi: I'm not sure. I've been having sex with women all day. Mitsuki: Tell ya what: Take a little rest. Lay on my bed for a while. Okay? Tenchi: Why, thanks Mitsuki. (She's not really as mean as Kiyone said she is.) JAY: This isn't going to turn out good. JOK: How do you know? JAY: Evil knows Evil, but Insanity knows it better... ^_^ LEENA: How do you do that smile thing? JAY: Old friends with Xelloss Metallium. ^_^ While Tenchi slept Mitsuki takes the opportunity to try out those neat street clothing she's got from Mihoshi. Apparently she's making a bit too much noise. Tenchi wakes up to see what the commotion's all about, just to be greeted by a very sexy-looking Mitsuki, exposing her light-blue underwear whilst she was putting on her leggings. [SHWING*2!!!] JOK: What the hell?! Mitsuki: Oh no. Guess I was too much stimulation for you there, huh? Tenchi: Mitsuki... Help me... Mitsuki: Alright, alright. Here you go, kid. LEENA(Mitsuki): Here's a knife to cut it off with. *Males cross legs.* JAY(Wincing): You like to do that to us, don't you? Tenchi viciously stabs his might Johnson into the depths of her sex canal. But after a while he notices that the expression on her face didn't change. TOM: Rei Ayanami IS Mitsuki! JAY: Bonus points if you can guess where we got that joke. Tenchi: Uh... Mitsuki. You're... not... Mitsuki: Oh, me? I do this all the time. This is how I rise through the police ranks. And besides, I earn some pocket change that way. So, screw to your heart's content. CROW(Tenchi): What about to my Johnson's? "Screw" was the word that immediately set him off. His manhood continuously plunges into her like a raging demon. JAY: Raging Demons aren't so tough, one good Blitz Wolf Total Assault can take out a squad. LEENA: Blitz Wolf? JAY: One of Koeing's Conversion Armors, decked out with missiles. Her power universal is so good; it's bringing him to the brink of eruption. Mitsuki, after years of her pussy being plunged into, finds herself moaning louder... [SPLURRRRTT!!!] Mitsuki: (How can this be? I've had dicks as big as these before... But obviously this guy knows how to fuck a lady. I should do more Jurai-blooded Earthlings from now on!) RELENA: How many can there be? Tenchi: Mitsuki... I have to go... Mitsuki: Go? And why's that? Tenchi: My friends are worried about me at home. Mitsuki: Oh. I'm sorry... I just need you to help fill out this Incident Report, please. *All facefault.* Tenchi: *_*; It doesn't change, does it? -=**=- JAY: I'm running out of ideas for these... Tenchi finally makes it back to the Masaki household, but Mayuka runs him over trying to greet him at the door. JAY: I MIGHT BE A SUPER TABOO FAN BUT IF YOU GO THERE YOU'LL GO TO HELL VIA THE ‘MAGNUS EXPRESS'!!!! Mayuka: Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! I'm so glad that daddy's back!! JOK: Get the kid some Ritalin. Tenchi: Ouch... Mayuka. You weigh a ton! Mayuka: Did you bring me anything, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy?! Tenchi: [That Mayuka is so cute... AAAARGH!! I'M NO PEDOPHILE!!] Uh... No, I didn't. Sorry. CROW: IIE LOLITA!!! Mayuka: Awww... Well, that's okay! Daddy can give me something else! Right, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy?!! ^0^ [SHWING!! AAAAAHH!! NOT WITH HER!!] Mayuka: Oh, what a big thing you got between your legs, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! [Massages her hand over the bulge in his pants.] Tenchi: [The better to fuck your...] AAAARGH!! No, Mayuka! I can't... Aw, fuck it! RELENA: IF YOU DO, JAY WILL HAVE TO BEAT ME TO KILLING YOU!!! Tenchi's animalistic urges take over once again. He frees his mighty Johnson and pounds the living daylights out of his own blood relative. Mayuka howls outworldishly as she feels herself get banged and filled and violated repeatedly for minutes on end... [SPLURRRTT!!] JOK: Tenchi, you get her pregnant, you'll have hell to pay and Satan don't take checks. LEENA: While the joke was good... NOW SOMEONE'S GONNA GO WRITE A FIC WHERE HE DOES GET HER PREGNANT!!! An uncontrollable shockwave hits Tenchi as he empties his seed into her. And he keeps on filling her; he's unable to stop his torrent of semen squirting from out of his manhood. It ends up spilling from out of the lucious daughter's pussy and onto the floor. Mayuka: Oooooohhh... That was the greatest, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! Let's do this again and again and again and again, forever and ever and ever, daddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!! Tenchi: I'm going to hell for this... I just know I'm going to hell for this... JAY: As I said, Via the ‘Magnus Express.' -=**=- HOAG(PR): It looks a little like the Star's saucer section as seen from the front... After a good dinner, Tenchi decides to hit the bed early. He knew it's going to be one of those days again tomorrow: The fighting, the explosions, the swift mood changes, the havoc, the drama, and ultimately the fucking. This is terrible. He wished he'd never freed the demon, Ryoko, from her prison. RELENA: We wish they'd put you in prison. JAY: No, we don't, there are very bad fics that end with Tenchi in prison. Just then, a soft light appears in the middle of the room. Tenchi gets up to see what it is, thinking it's probably Ryoko or Washuu trying to get another fuck from him. But then, it turns out to be the High Goddess of Jurai Tsunami; wearing the Juraian ceremonial robe, a weak smile on her face, and nothing else. TOM: Nitpicking, but the robe covers everything, so how would he know she's wearing nothing? CROW: Tom, you once said something to me and I now say it to you, Smile and nod. Tsunami: Well, Lord Tenchi. It seems that it was a busy day for you. Tenchi: Well... heh. The only complaint is that it's taking it's toll on me. I can't keep doing this forever, you know. Tsunami: But you have drunk the water from the tree of life, Tenchi Masaki. You will be able to last for centuries. There is no need for you to worry about that. Tenchi: You've got to excuse me, Miss Tsunami. All I want right now is sleep, pure unadulterated sleep. JOK: I'm not sure unADULTeRATED sleep is the term you should be using... Tsunami: Then let me send you to dreamland, Lord Tenchi. And with that, the High Goddess of Jurai flings off her robe to reveal... JOK: Ryo-ohki. RELENA: Lady Tokimi. LEENA: Kagato. TOM: Yosho. CROW: Kamidake. JAY: Nabayuki. OTHERS(To Jay): You win. A Juraian summer string bikini swimsuit! [SSSSHHHWWWWIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!] Tenchi: .......... Let's eat... JAY: Now where did I put that dikironium cloud creature...? TROWA: A what? JAY: It's a blood-sucker. Tenchi takes the high priestess TOM: Megumi/Goddess. JAY: Ingrid. TOM: What? JAY: In Megumi Koehosei, the Goddesses were commonly called Ingrids. by the waist and kisses her in the mouth. He moves her bikini aside and starts slamming her with his mighty*2 Johnson. It ends up being more than she can handle, but is too lost into the fusion JAY(going through the Fusion motions): FU-SION! of pain and pleasure to tell him to stop. Tenchi's animalistic behavior pounds away at Tsunami's soft turquoise-haired palace as she releases a "tsunami" RELENA(British): Bad pun old chap. of primordial juices onto his shaft, JAY(Isaac Hayes): Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? LEENA/RELENA(70's backup singers): Shaft! JAY(Isaac Hayes): You're damn right! Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man? LEENA/RELENA(70's backup singers): Shaft! JAY(Isaac Hayes): Can ya dig it? Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about? LEENA/RELENA(70's backup singers): Shaft! JAY(Isaac Hayes): Right on! You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother-- LEENA/RELENA(70's backup singers): Shut your mouth! JAY(Isaac Hayes): But I'm talkin' about Shaft! LEENA/RELENA(70's backup singers): Then we can dig it. JAY(Isaac Hayes): He's a complicated man but no one understands him but his woman. EVERYONE: John Shaft! LEENA: I can't believe we just did that... JOK: Believe it. balls, and legs. He feels it coming, and he removes himself from her gates as he rolls her over and prepares to unleash his furry all over her supreme goddess busoms. [SSSSPPLLLUUURRRRTTTT!!!!!!] Tenchi's mighty*2 TOM: Mighty*2? D&D Fan? Johnson fires blast after blast of jizz all over Tsunami's face, hair, and breasts. She grabs his Johnson and slurps the rest of his stickiness from his member. -=**=- He's now in his dreamscape. RELENA: Chocobo's Dream World! He's laying back on a tree at the school park, waiting for his mother. And here she comes, wearing that lovely Japanese school outfit and her hair in a long ponytail. It's Achika. JAY: Also known as one of the ‘Untouchables'... Tenchi: Oh mom! I'm so glad I can see you again! Achika: (Gives him a hug.) Tenchi, my son. I'm so proud of you. You're growing up to be a healthy boy. Tenchi: Mom. My life is so messed up now. I'm having sex with all these alien girls. And I can't seem to stop myself. Achika: And they can't seem to stop you either? Tenchi: They don't wanna stop me! I mean... What if I were to suddenly end up banging Sasami? JOK: Five words: TOM: A... JAY: Slow... RELENA: And... LEENA: Horrible... TROWA: Death. CROW: ARGH!!! NOW EVERYONE'S DOING IT!!! TOM(Zombie Lisa from Treehouse of Horror 5[Simpsons Halloween Special]): Join us Crow... LEENA(Zombie Marge): It's bliss... CROW: AHHHHH!!!!! Achika: I believe it's been taken care of. The author of this fanfic may be a pervert, but he's not that sick. Tenchi: But I just did Mayuka! Achika: I believe he was using the Mayuka from our second Tenchi Muyo movie. TOM: THAT'S THE ONLY MAYUKA, YOU SICK PERVERT!!! Tenchi: This is nuts! I'm turning into a sadistic pervert just like my dad! CROW: Obsessed, yes, but not sadistic. Achika: Tenchi dear... Your dad's not a sadistic pervert. Tenchi's dad, young Nobuyuki, is in his room, butt-nekkid HOAG(PR): Why can't people just say ‘butt-naked' or even ‘nude'? and totally evaporated from having way too much sex with Achika. Achika: I AM!! [Flings up her skirt to give her future son a good long look.] [SSSSHHHWWWWIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!] Tenchi: MOOOOOM!!! I....!! Can't.... Oh, forget it! Tenchi grabs his future mother and leans her back to the tree. He then frees his mighty*3 Johnson and slides it into her pussy, JAY(Calm of Impending Doom, as Judge): You have just broken three of the lemon commandments. Incest with direct relative, I.E., mother, father, daughter, son, two counts. Underage sex, one count. Intercourse with an ‘Untouchable', one count. Has the jury reached a verdict? RELENA(Foreperson): We have. The verdict is guilty. JAY(Judge): The sentence... is DEATH! HOAG(PR, Bailiff): The sentence will be carried out after this MST Special... JAY: Hoag, the JUDGE decides when the sentence will be carried out! HOAG(PR): Oh, alright, go ahead. JAY(Judge): The sentence will be carried out after this MST Special... *Facefaults all around.* which is wet like the Pacific Ocean and flowing with girlcum like the Nile River. He bangs his own mother continuously and mercilessly, all sence and logic past the point of no return. Achika's currently holding on for dear life, screaming out her son's name as he gets ready to ignite once again. JAY: Hoag, ready the Beckett for launch, after this special I'm going to the Last Starfighter Lounge on Omegus VI. If he's an assassin, they'll know of him... [SSSSPPLLLUUURRRRTTTT!!!!!!] -=**=- Tenchi's eyes snap open, bringing him back into the real world. That was the world wet dream he had since the alien girls bunked here. But somehow he still feels that great warmth and wetness along his Johnson. Someone's in bed with him. Tenchi: (I wonder who it is this time. If it's Ryo-Ohki, I'm committing suicide.) RELENA: If it's Ryo-Ohki, Shinji 10 Watch Killer Barf Raziah here will meet you in hell. He flings off the covers, and a beautiful girl had his mighty cock all into her mouth and down her throat. It can be said that it was the best "deep throat" performed by anyone within this series. Only... This girl is... Miaka: VANILLA ICE CREAM!! LEENA: I prefer strawberry, myself. Tenchi: [Grimacing] Dammit, Miaka! Why the hell do you gotta come all the way from "Mysterious Play" TOM: IT'S FUSHIGI YUUGI!!! to suck _my_ dick?!! Miaka:[With his dick still in her mouth.] Because it's the biggest. Bigger than Tamahome, Hotohori, Nuriko, Mitsukake, Tasuki, and Chichiri combined. Tenchi: That's it! I'm turning gay! Maybe Nuriko's still available... THE (very disturbing) END * * * * * * * * * * * * Next Fanfic? Mikado Ichiban VS Asuka 120% & Advanced Variable Geo: Phrank's Day (Of Getting) Off someday... JAY: Uhh... (KNIGHT) We are the Knights Who Go "NEE!" OTHERS(Minus Relena, KWGN): NEE! RELENA(SHAMPOO[Cat form]): NEE! =^_^= JAY: Riiight... o_o;; [Fic ends] [The AniMSTers exit the theater] As the AniMSTers emerged, Jay walked over to a console, I just installed a C&C system, so we could say what we thought of the fic. I personally think it sucked. Same here. Relena replied. Here too. Jok said. I hated it, he gives perverts a bad name. Crow gave his two cents. It didn't suck, it blew. Tom said, Trowa just remained silent. [[[You know me. It's my duty to please that booty.]]] AHHH!!! WE GOT MST SPECIAL SIGN!!! [AniMSTers enter the theater] [Fic begins] Shinji The 10 o'Clock Assassin http://members.xoom.com/Shinji_2200/KNSImpact.htm tyree3@pacbell.net This fanfic contains sex and harsh language. Viewer's discretion is strongly advised. If not; then you can go watch the Disney Channel for all I care. CROW: Shinji, there's Disney hentai too... ************ The next day, at the Society for the Prevention of the Use of Underaged Anime Girls for Lemons... JAY: Been there before... JOK: YOU?! MR. IIE LOLITA SR.?! HAHAHAHA!!! JAY(Flashes badge): I bring in authors who violate the Lemon Commandments, although I do have the authority to execute on sight. Shinji: But I made these girls over 18 years of age! WHAT PART OF "OVER 18 DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND??!!" Clerk: Oh, the parts where you include incest. Shinji: Oh, excuse me. "Super Taboo" is a sex manga brought to the US by Eros Comix, and it became one of the top selling comics here. It had incest pouring out of it's pages! JAY: Don't go assume I'll go easy on you because you're a fellow Super-Tab fan! Clerk: I see... Shinji: I'm also a writer of a bunch of Eva lemons! Why didn't you attack me then?! JAY: The Anime Star was still in the design phase. Clerk: Because it was the creator's fault. Shinji: And why is it that I'd get kicked in the groin for doing lemons like these; and yet everyone else is making, AND COLLECTING MIND YOU, hentai pics of Sasami, Ruri, Skuld, and...! OH LOOK!! IS THAT A NAKED CHIBI-USA UP THERE??!! JAY: Don't worry, they're next. Clerk: THAT IS ENOUGH!! 10 o'Clock, I'll have you know that we're keeping a very sharp eye on you for now on! We refuse to put up with more of your mindless fuck-a-minute fuck-a-thons! And don't think we can't do anything to you. We have the technology. JAY: They have the agent with the Kirk class starship... Shinji: (Sneering.) I see... And hey! Clerk: What is it? Shinji: #1: Puff Daddy is still number one on the rap charts. #2: South Park is making a killing on cable. #3: End of Evangelion is still being praised as the number one movie for five years. And #4: Pokemon is one gigantic "chicken-fight," and yet children all over the US are trying to "catch them all." Explain to me why is that? KAMI-SAMA(Heaven, booming voice): BECAUSE.... YOU ARE A PUPPET... RELENA: Jay, did the heavenly one just make a joke? JAY: You know, I think he did... But the clerk didn't listen to him. He's currently hearing the latest Puff Daddy jam. His desk is filled with paraphernalia from South Park and Pokeman. And his computer screen has a screen saver that replays the dreaded "mastubation scene" from the End of Eva. Gee, that explains everything! TROWA: I'd have thought Shinji and Rei would be doing it... JOK: My goddess, the Grim Clown makes a joke! That night, the 10 o'Clock Assassin is in front of his computer trying to figure out a way to clean up his TOM: Dirty mind. most MST'ed fiction to date. Shinji: Okay, let's see... Removes sex scenes with Achika and Mayuka... LEENA: DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE GOING TO! Huff... Probably remove the Tsunami and Mitsuki sex scene as well... RELENA: You think that will save you from doom? JAY: The more fool are you. ************ 10-CHI RETURNS TOM: TENCHI! NOT 10-CHI!!! or BECAUSE I LOVE TENCHI MUYO TROWA: I SHALL COMMIT SEPPAKU. JOK: How do you do that without yelling? TOM: Emphasis. ************ It's morning at the Masaki household. The sun shines through the window, causing Tenchi to wake up before his alarm goes off. He opens his eyes and tries to focus them. He then rolls over to find... Ryoko's smooth body right next to him. He also finds out that she's very, VERY unclad. HOAG(PR): There they go again, going around the term instead of saying it outright. SHE IS NUDE!!! Ryoko: (Smiling) Good morning, Tenchi. Now Tenchi; already groggy from a year of sex, sex, and more sex; goes automatic. He kisses Ryoko in the mouth and soon slams his cock into the wiley alien. [[[WARNING! WARNING! THIS FIC IS OUT OF CHARACTER! REPEAT: THIS FIC IS OUT OF CHARACTER!]]] On the other end, she's pretty amazed at the fact that it's been over one Earth year now, and he's still at his peak performance. Whatever Washuu had sneaked into his food that day must've done wonders for his sexual drive. After a while Ryoko explodes under the power of his cock JAY: That's one strong rooster! before Tenchi shoots his seed and empties himself into his first alien "friend." He then takes some clean clothes and leaves the room wondering why he isn't so groggy from all that vaginal muscular pressure on his cock. HOAG(PR): Vaginal muscular pressure? Someone's using the big words. -=**=- JOK: A Gatoron underwater. (It's a scene change.) JOK: Liar. He goes into the nearest bathroom, but the door's locked. Tenchi was just about to pout LEENA: No, Aeka is the one who pouts. when the door suddenly opens from the inside. It's Princess Aeka, wearing only her bathrobe. Both of them are surprised at first, but she greets her lover (and great^? grand-nephew?) with a weak smile. JAY: The smile is the strongest part of her. Aeka: Oh. My apologies, Lord Tenchi. The other washroom is still in repairs (from me and Ryoko fighting over you). Your father said it was okay to use this one right here. Tenchi: My apologies, your highness. But I really have to use the restroom now. He tries to go in, but the princess is still in his way. TOM(Tenchi as Kup): Aeka is in my way! JAY(Tenchi as Hot Rod): WRONG! She's my way in! Aeka: If and only if... You allow me to join you. TROWA: In oblivion... Obviously, the attempt to avoid her majesty this morning is an utter failure. And so, he goes in as her highness closes the door behind him and locks it. And so, after what seemed like the longest piss ever, JOK/JAY/CROW/TOM: Pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! JAY(Tenchi): Ahhh... LEENA: You're all so immature. RELENA: You DO know that the MST Avengers have done that joke before, right? MALES(-Hoag and Trowa): So? Tenchi soon felt like the weight of the world had fell off his shoulders. He then finds the weight of Princess Aeka on his shoulders JAY: That's almost the weight of a world. *Logs appear* AEKA(Voiceover): You are going to pay for that, Magnus. JAY: BRING IT, ‘SMURFETTE!!!' KAZAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!!!!! JAY(Well done): Path-etic! as she wipes some of the piss (as well as the stench of Ryoko's "baggy pussy") from his cock with a washcloth. She then positions herself against the door which Tenchi wanted to go out through. Aeka: Now now, Lord Tenchi. There's only one way out. TOM: So, Tenchi flushed himself out through the toilet. Poor Tenchi had no choice but to pleasure her highness. He kisses her in the mouth as he plays with her small breasts and cunt. AEKA(Voice over): THEY ARE NOT SMALL!!! They're petit. CROW: They're small. KAZAKAKAKAKAKA!!! She returns the favor by massaging his massive hard-on; being careful not to let it explode before it's proper use. TROWA: A worm to catch fish. Tenchi then lifts up her left leg as he slides his cock into her. The thing to note is that he really doesn't like putting his cock into her highness because she's SO FUCKING TIGHT!!! LEENA: Every time he does, it crushes his cock. *Males wince* The fact that she has the flattest chest instantly gives away her secret. And it's always the same: He hammers it in, he EXPLODES JOK: HURRAY! The fic is over!!! HOAG(PR): Not yet, you bloomin idiot. and empties himself into her... Aeka: Tenchi! You done it again! JOK: HEY! I'm the one who's supposed to be told he's done it again! You came and didn't give me the chance to come with you! HOW DARE YOU!!! JAY: Dare I? RELENA: You always dare. JAY: Ya got THAT right! (As Tenchi) I DARE BECAUSE I LOVE RYOKO, YOU ROYAL PAIN-IN-THE-HIGHNESS!!! KAZAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!! JAY(JFZ-JP[Jurian Fried Zeo-Jin Prince]): Getting better... And next comes the apologizing, the butt-kissing, and ultimately the pussy-licking. Not that licking her highness's soft fleshy petals is anything bad, mind you. But she had the sex-drive of an 18-wheeler; JAY: Turbo! *Shifts to Autobot mode.* TURBO: Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? I am an 18-wheeler in this form, and I can tell you that the sex drive of an 18-wheeler is the exact same as a normal male. *Returns to human/Zeo-jin form* JAY: SO THERE!!! JOK: That was... wierd... meaning that it will take him about an hour or two to get her off using his tongue, fingers, and unreliable cock. -=**=- (Kohran from Sakura Wars after an explosion.) TOM: Never seen it. Tenchi then heads downstairs... (Aw, fuck it.) And decides to pay a little visit to Washuu's laboratory; hoping that she isn't doing anything weird this morning. JAY: Keep dreaming... Washuuu: Well, good morning my dear Tenchi. Would you like to take part in one of my experiments today? Tenchi: No thanks. I just came here to slam my cock into your pussy so hard; your title of "Universe's Greatest Scientist" will be reduced to "Fourth Greatest." Nothing more. Washuuuu: Oh, that's a mean thing to say about me. And I had something special cooked up for you, today. Tenchi: (Shakes his head violently...) Hey! What is it with all these "u's" after your name? HOAG(PR): Fourth Wall is registering damage. Washuuuuu: I'm not sure. People were complaining about the proper way my name was spelt... Author takes break to check Japanese dictionary, taking a note that the name of the greatest scientist in the solar system means "Eagle Feathers:" Washi = Eagle Yuu = Does One's Hair JAY: Jay Magnus = Ass Kicker. Washiyuu... Wasyuu... Washuu... Washu... Oh, I see! Goujira... Godzilla! Tenchi: Forget this! Can we screw now, MS. WASHUU? RELENA(Washu): It's Washu-CHAN! Washuu: Not today, unfortunately. My real body's currently in the chamber for a centurial prognosis and the only spare body I have on stock had no vagina. So... TOM: Looks like Shinji read ‘How Washu Stays Young'... Second point down. Ms. Washuu IS doing something weird. But his grief soon turns into estacy (albeit a sick one) as the small prodigy takes his cock out and does amazing things to it with her tongue and hands. [ADVERTISEMENT] And now, you too can own the highly controversial Universal Kama Sutra! Only $24.95! WHAT A BARGAIN!! Available RIGHT NOW at your local Tower and Virgin CD/Video/Book Store! GET IT TODAY!! [END ADVERTISEMENT] JAY: That's a rip-off, I got mine at Multi-Media Play for just 97.66 Zees, which is equal to $14.99US. Tenchi totally loses it as he shoots his seed into the red-haired scientist's mouth. But she's unable to swallow it all and has to contend with having his white, gooey sperm splurt all over her cute face and hair. CROW: Lolita-suffering jackass... (Shut up! Or do you want me to put Sasami in this as well?) JAY: Do and die. Washuu: See? Almost as good as the real thing, huh? At this point, poor Tenchi couldn't decide whether to facevault or go-hard again... TOM: Please, faceFault. -=**=- (Shermie after being caught in her own "spiral.") Despite this morning's "cock-shootings," JOK: So THAT's where KFC gets their chickens! Tenchi manages to have some breakfast and is currently on his way towards Tokyo University. He nearly passes the Miho-Kiyo apartment along the way before his mind starts to click again. Tenchi: Oh, what the hell. Might as well do something for the Miho-Kiyo fans. He goes up to the door of said apartment and knocks on it... After a couple seconds the door opens to reveal the lovely "Teal-Dressed Goddess" Kiyone; JAY: Ketran would agree with you there... sporting the luxurious swim suit she wore during the "Mugen Tenchi Muyo" lemon sidestory. Kiyone: Oh. Hi, Tenchi. Mihoshi: ALRIGHT!! IT'S TENCHI!! COME ON IN!! And he does so, looking towards Kiyone who's silently insulting the bronzed bubblehead. Not wanting this to turn into another bad Miho-Kiyo fiasco, Tenchi comes around her back and kisses the cheek of the goddess with the red headband. JAY: Now I'm wondering if Shinji IS Ketran... He then looks toward Mihoshi who's wearing the same style swimsuit, only with less material on it. Tenchi's cock grew to fuller than full mast when he caught the mere glimpse of the lovely Mihoshi. But he saw Kiyone first so... He asks the goddess JAY: URD!!!!!!! GET OUT OF TENCHI MUYO!!! who was at the now-closed doorway if she didn't mind being boinked by him. And an answer had already been given when she nzipped his fly and removed the bulge from his pants. She licks away at his member, and in no time flat his seed was already flying from his cockpiece and onto the lovely Kiyone. CROW: But what about the Kiyone from this story? She then takes his shrinking member and slithers it into her wet and waiting pussy, RELENA: Poor cat. causing him to go hard once more. [Tenchi notes again that whatever Washuu gave him had really done some wonders for him. His refraction time TOM: But what about his reaction time? has been cut very short.] *males wince* He takes her by the waist and slams his cock into her, watching in awe and amazement as Mihoshi licks all of his come off Kiyone's face, hair, and breasts. And added to the immense pleasure is the loud moaning and torrent of lady-cum caused by his love for her and his large cock. CROW: Hehehe. He loves his cock... JAY(Priest): By the power invested in me by the state of fornication, I now pronounce you man and penis. You may now kiss the cock. ALL(Slightly green): JAY, THAT WAS SICK!!! Far from being through, he then takes Mihoshi by her cute bottom and slowly slides his cock into her as he plays with her large breasts. TOM: Wait, he grabs her ass, two hands. He fucks her, one penis. He plays with her breasts, two hands. 1, 2, 3, 4... THERE TOO MANY HANDS HERE!!! JAY: KIYONE! Stop playing with Mihoshi's breasts! It feels so good as he continuously slides his member in and out of her, causing the lucky GP officer to moan even louder than Kiyone had. Speaking of Kiyone, she's now between the legs of her love and roommate; adding more pleasure to them with her expertice in tongue-fu. JAY: Hoag, hit the music! *Kung-fu Fighting plays* JAY: Everybody was Tounge-Fu fucking... CROW: Those chicks were not clucking. ALL(Jay included): *Sweatdrop* Mihoshi soon loses her control and another torrent of lady-cum is caused; falling all over Kiyone's face. Tenchi then exits her canal, rolls her over, and sprays his semen all over the bronzed blonde's face and breasts; which were still bouncing about from Kiyone's hand playing with her roommate's still-sensitive pussy. Tenchi then looks at the clock... He's got an hour before his class actually starts! This guy has to go! But not before giving the lovely Miho-Kiyo duo a deep kiss goodbye to each. -=**=- (Hideaki Anno after meeting some really pissed-off fans of Eva. With MALLETS!) RELENA: You after meeting any fans of Tenchi, Aa! Megumi-Sama!, Eva, El Hazard, Slayers, etc. Armed with anything! My language is harsh! And coarse like the sands of time! And you will be struck! STRUCK!! With a tidal wave of words!" Tenchi's in his History 5 class watching a film about the Reformation, where Martin Luther and his followers take a stand against the spoiling of religion. "Well, that's what happens when you leave it out in the open for too long!" jokes one classmate who's seen way too many "Cash Money Records" videos. JAY: Try stolen from Peter's MST of the first one. After said class Tenchi's about to leave when he hears a certain, yet soothing, voice... RELENA(Belldandy): Misaki Tenchi? I'm from the Relief Goddess Agency. Sakuya: Good afternoon, Ten-chan. Tenchi: Uhh... Hi, Sakuya. How are you doing? Sakuya: I'm doing fine! Hey, ain't that Mr. Fujisawa so cool? JOK: When did Tenchi Muyo get crossed with El Hazard? Tenchi: Yeah, he is cool. But I'm thinking about dropping the class. Sakuya: Huh? How come? Tenchi: Well... I've been too busy. On top of my other two classes I got... LEENA(Tenchi): Five alien girls trying to fuck me daily. (A hard-on in my pants again!) Some other projects to deal with. Sakuya: Well, I'm so sorry to hear that, Ten-chanyouain'thidin'thatcockfromme. Hey! How about we go someplacesoyoucanboinkmewiththatlargecockofyours and get a soda? And by this point, Tenchi knew exactly what she's been saying. He takes her to the nearest janitorial room which is not being used. RELENA: What happened to the days that sex was either something your parents did or something that happened in the backseat of a car on Lover's Lane? JAY(Southern): Why, Miss Relena.... RELENA: Shut. Up. Jay. And as soon as he closed the door, Sakuya was already sliding along side him in eagerness. He lifts her left leg, going under her ravishingly short skirt, and pushes aside her frilly underwear to lick at her soft, moistening pussy. His tongue massages the girl's dampening entrance, causing her to moan loudly. "Thank God for soundproofing," KAMI-SAMA(Heaven, Booming voice): I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. he thought as he causes her dam to break after a while. Tenchi then takes his cock out and somehow manages to slide it into her. Sakuya cries in sheer pain, noticing out much larger he's become sence she was last done by him. CROW: A class ago. Overdriven by lust, Tenchi starts drilling a deeper hole into his latest girlfriend as he slams his salami into her. Sakuya has been sent past the "point of no return." And Tenchi blows yet another load into yet another beautiful girl today. And OH DOES THAT FEEL SO GOOD!!! The janitor who had caught them leaving, on the other hand, did not find it so pleasing... Janitor: Goddamn you kids! That's the fifth time you used that place in about a month now!! JOK(Janitor): And it's just the first! -=**=- JOK: Blip the Teleporturtle. (A crab with no claws.) Later on, Nagi is outside the Masaki Shrine trying to figure out a way to capture the (former) space pirate Ryoko without causing some unneeded reaction from the other residence: Aeka will have a fit RELENA(AEKA): NO ONE GETS REVENGE ON HER BUT ME! ("She's mine! Nobody gets revenge on her except for me!"), Sasami will cry for centuries, the two spacecops won't like it one bit, Washuu will try to blow the world up, JAY: More like a couple universes. and Tenchi will actually cause his hidden power to come out of hiding. JOK: What power? The Saotome School Of Anything Goes Martial Arts Final Attack? Nagi: Damn you, Ryoko. You're just too comfortable within the safety of this household. Just how long are you planning to hide in there? RELENA(Ryoko): FOREVER! First rule of a hideout: It's safe. Second rule: You're protected. I'm both! She soon notices Tenchi coming from down the street. He then catches a glimpse of her, thinking it's Ryoko wanting to have another sexual discussion with him and marched straight towards her to put an end to it. But as he gets closer, he soon recognizes her as the "intergalactic bounty hunter," and decided that maybe he should go the other way... Nagi: Tenchi Masaki! (Stopping him in his tracks with her words.) Ryoko is a coward not to challenge me one-on-one. Are you a coward as well? TOM(Tenchi): HELL YEAH, I'M A COWARD!!! SAOTOME SCHOOL OF ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL ARTS FINAL ATTACK!!! *pretends to run like hell and like the hounds of said hell are on his heels.* Tenchi: Look. I don't wanna have sex with you. I'm already sore from doing six women as of today. Nagi: And will it hurt you to do one more, Masaki? Or am I just too hideous to be even considered worthy of your mighty salami? CROW(Tenchi): You're worthy of my deli meat, just not of my dick. Come to think of it... Nagi can be quite attractive when she wants; despite the freakish hairstyle and the large revenge streak. She has the three sizes that are somewhere between Kiyone and Mihoshi, and she should be checked out during the episode where the "bathing suit contest" was held. Tenchi soon has Nagi in his room. Nagi: I'll be just a mere doll to you. Do with me whatever you like. RELENA(Nagi): I'm Bounty Hunter Barbie. JAY(Mr. Potatohead): I'm a married spud! I'm a married spud! Tenchi: No way, Nagi. I like for you to participate in this as well. And with that said, causing the hard-boiled bounty hunter to sigh heavily, she removes her firm-fitting battlesuit with the flick of her wrist. She lays on his bed and spreads herself wide so he can get a majestic view of her. But what caught his attention more was the many scars the bounty hunter picked up whilst on the job. Tenchi: Oh my! You got a scar there as well?! LEENA(Nagi): I'll never mastrabate using a dagger again! Nagi can only give out a weak sneer(?) as Tenchi goes in and licks at her only softspot. After she moistens a bit, she tells him to get on the bed with him. He does as he's told as Nagi removes the enlarged member once more and goes down on it like nobody's business. The two soon placed themselves into a 69 position. CROW: Why not 96? TOM: Because then they'd be snubbing each other! And sometime later, Tenchi's face is covered with bounty-hunter-lady-cum while Nagi makes him blow his load all the way down her throat; an amazing feat for someone who already has a cock halfway down her throat. And after shooting a large load of cum, it's still hard. Nagi then positions herself over a zonked-out Tenchi; who she immediately wakes up. Nagi: It's not sleepytime yet, Tenchi my dear. You still have a job to perform. LEENA(Nagi as a housewife): Mow the lawn! She then slides his throbbing member into her... AND OH GOD SHE'S SO TIGHT!!! Well... Not as tight as Sakuya... Aeka's the tightest... But Nagi is about SO FUCKING TIGHT that he would've exploded into her instantly... Had it not been for her womanhood clamping around the base of his cock; unabling him to come at that instant. Tenchi: You seem to have had some experience in this before... Nagi: It's an alien thing, baby. "Predator," "Star Trek & Star Wars;" they ain't got nothing on the rest of us! JAY: *cough*Bullshit*cough* Tenchi: But it isn't fair. I want to explode right now if you don't mind. This causes another sigh from the bounty hunter as she lets him exit her supernatural cunt... But not all the way out. She only keeps the head of his cock in; massaging his meat as fast as she can. This sends the poor guy into supernova TROWA: Causeing the sun to explode and destroy all life as we know it. JAY: Sol was a boring system anyway. as he empties himself once again into the wiley semi-villain's sexual entrance. After said second blast, he falls onto her body exhausted from all the sex with ladies from another planet. And Nagi soon has his head along her breasts, so he can lick at and around the nipples, before falling prey to the attack of the "slumber fairy." TOM: Go, Slumber Fairy! Use Sleep Powder! -=**=- (Two punks on the floor searching for the small meth pills, but are unsuccessful because they're already high. So they end up hitting each other in the heads and therefore caused brain damage onto themselves.) TROWA: So they are you and Tank Cop? And this is why a guy like him should never have weeks off... Ever! JAY: It was the Worst. Week. EVAR. HOAG(PR): Hey, no FFTSB jokes! The next morning Tenchi meets up with the ladies in the living room. It's about time to reset the "Weekly Schedule." So he takes the folded-up pieces of paper and places them in his father's hat. He shakes the hat up ("No cheating, Ryoko." "Alright, alright!") and gives each of the pieces of paper to the ladies. The schedule will be as follows... Sunday=Mihoshi (YAY!!) Monday=Sakuya (Alright!) Tuesday=Aeka (I shall prepare something extra special for you, Lord Tenchi.) RELENA: I'm envisioning whips, chains, and wood. Wednesday=Ryoko (I'll see you, princess. And then I'll raise it!) JAY: My jack beats your queen! Thursday=Nagi (Hmph. Haven't won yet.) Friday=Kiyone (It's kinda sad, really...) Saturday=Washuu (My real body should be ready by then.) One thing will be for sure, though: Whatever Washuu had placed into his food that night... It's gonna be in his strict nutritional plan if he ever wants to see another decade. ~_~; THE END ALL: THANK GOD! KAMI-SAMA(Heaven, Booming Voice): DON'T THANK ME YET. The Tenchi gang are at the movie theatre; watching the last part of the film run its course... Tenchi: So, girls. What do you think? LEENA: He needs to die. RELENA: Normally I'm against senseless destruction, but in his case I not only justify it, but condone it. Ryoko: He took out the parts about Mayuka and Achika. Everyone was complaining about that. Aeka: Hmph! I'd rather have his own mother touch him instead of you! JAY: You will pay for that, Jurai. Ryoko: Oh yeah! And don't tell me that you don't wanna touch him either, you shrew! Aeka: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!! LEENA(Ryoko): Why should I take back the truth? Another Ryoko Vs. Aeka fight ensues until Washuu hits the both of them with her prized "zapping laser invention thingy." Kiyone: I'm actually surprised that the 10 o'Clock would go back and clean up this piece of garbage. Mihoshi: Why are you being so mean? We get to have sex with Tenchi! (Giggles.) Kiyone: Well, I wanted to have sex with him alone. The whole romance thing gets ruined when you're around me. Mihoshi: That's not true, Kiyone! You and I are great together! Kiyone: No, YOU're great together. I'm better alone with Tenchi. Sakuya: So, you're an intergalactic bounty hunter. Nagi's your name? Nagi: Yes. And you must be Sakuya; "Tenchi's latest girlfriend" from Shin Tenchi Muyo. Sakuya: Correct! They take a moment to stare at each other... Nagi: Your behavior spooks me, kid. Sakuya: And you look like you should be in a band or something... JOK: They're gonna be good friends... The gang then exit the theatre deciding on whether to hurt the author some more or actually "thank" him when they suddenly find another large group of movie-goers exiting the theatre next door... Throwing up, or trying to make it to the restroom so they can throw up there. Tenchi: (Grabbing one person.) Are you alright?! Person: No I'm not...! Kiyone: What's wrong? Is it the movie you just saw? But the person was unable to speak due to some of his food exiting the way it came in. All he could manage to do was point at the names of the movie over the door. Needless to say, the Tenchi gang was shocked. FRIDAY GROSS OUT DOUBLE FEATURE: "POT" W/ "TENCHI ON A PLATE OF SASHIMI" JAY: That must have been Priss, Aeka, Peter, and Ranma... AUTHOR'S RAMBLINGS: TROWA: Now the fool tries to defend his work. I like to thank everybody who's said that my "10-Chi Clan: The Quickies" lemon fanfic was bad-bad-BAD!! HOAG(PR): See our new Opinions section. I'm surprised on how intolerant you people are out there in the web world. In fact, I didn't want to go back and fix this fic. I wanted it to be a cornerstone of a fic that I should never do. But then I read (or tried to read) lemons from all the other authors out there. And I must ask: Where is the line drawn between "fuck-a-minute fuck-a-thons" and "Tentacle demon does everything that walks while getting high on crack and vomiting all over the place?" JAY: That would be a crossover of Pot, Ksa and The MSTers W/AnimePort #9 MSTs team up Tank Cop Super Special, and NO NEED FOR Tenticales. This is almost as bad... ALMOST!!! Tenchi Muyo belongs to AIC/Pioneer. Everything else belongs to their respected creators. And remember: The 10 o'Clock Assassin isn't really a bad shot. I just have multiple targets to shoot. There's a difference! ^_^ _____________________________________________________________________________ AniMSTer Opinions: JAY: Talk about the same story with different details. RELENA: I hate you. LEENA: I hope the SPUUAGL authorizes Jay's KoS Request. JOK: This was just... Sick. TROWA: Die. TOM: I agree with the Grim Clown. CROW: Not as bad as the first one, still sucked, but not as bad as the first one. [AniMSTers exit the theater.] YES! The Society approved my Kill on Sight Request! ______________________________________________________________________________ Omegus VI, a backwater planet where there is no law except the law of ‘Kill or be killed.' A lone figure with draconic wings and tail, garbed in black, carrying a rifle, stepped into The Last Starfighter Lounge. He glanced down at a piece of paper that read: Warrant For The arrest of Shinji the 10 o'clock Assassain, Alias Purge Raizah Permission Granted to Kill on Sight. The smoke hung thick in the bar when the stranger walked in, Party's over! Shut it down! I'm hunting for someone. He's a lemon writer who has no morals and I've been sent with a message, Shinji, bite the dust. Shinji stood up and said, I'm tired of you Society Agents, messing with my fics. I've got news for you, all the bad fic and lemon writers're gonna fall. Shinji hissed, There's gonna be trouble here tonight. You lemon writers need to know, I represent a whole new breed of fan today, and I'm authorized to blow you away, Jy'mg'ns loaded two bullets in his rifle, I've got a weapon which will overcome your sin and crud. I only need two bullets, They're called Knowledge and Love Of The Show. Shinji, bite the dust. Jy pulled the trigger and Shinji fell. Standing over him Jy cocked the gun again, Shinji, bite the dust. He pulled the trigger once more and there was silence. Let this be a lesson, there's a new breed of fan today, and we won't put up with perverted lemons and reality twisting SIs. Magnus to Star, one to beam up. As the Zeo-Jin form beamed up to his ship, he spoke the words again, Shinji, bite the dust. ______________________________________________________________________________ Two weeks worth of work. The scene at the end came from a Carman song that made me think of a way to do away with Shinji and be justified. Shinji, YOU. NEED. HELP. Responses to turbomagnus@excite.com as usual.