Except for Turbo Magnus and the Anime Star, nothing used in this story is my
property. I'm not paying to use the characters, nor am I making money from
them.

Anime Star MSTs #2
By: Turbo Magnus

In the lounge on the newly-commissioned MSTship Anime Star, Turbo Magnus,
the captain of the Anime Star, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, and Hoag the
Kangaroid were in the middle of a poker game.

"As Hawkeye Pierce once said ‘I'm reminded of a story, you've probably heard
it. The king and queen of this country were playing golf with five clubs.
Their son Jack remarked how strange it was that they only had two hearts
between them. And just then his sister Little Deucy and her dog Tre started
singing "Four Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend," whereupon the whole family
beat her to death and buried her with two spades'" joked Turbo.

"What did the bloke say?"

"He said he's gonna wipe the floor with us, Hoag." Tom answered.

"I don't think so, he's bluffing. He always closes his battle mask when he's
bluffing." Crow observed.

"Bet or fold, but get on with it you three." Turbo said.

"Fold"

"Fold"

"I'll bet fifty." Crow said, leaving just him and Turbo in the game.

[[[LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TAKE MY ADVICE, PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SLID ON THE
ICE.]]]

Jok's voice broke out over the com system, "Attention all personnel,
incoming fic. Time to drop the cards and grab the bags."

"Damn." The four players said as one.

The disheartened MSTers headed for the theater, minus two, Washu and Turbo.

"Washu-chan, did you contact our new crew member?"

"Yes, she should be here not long after the mst starts." Washu replied as
they entered the doors.

Door Sequence:
Door 1: A dimensional tunnel through Washu's lab.

Door 2: South Gate from FFIX, they ride golden chocobos through.

Door 3: The Wing Gundam is blocking the way, Heero self-detonates and they
walk by.

Door 4: The Cursed Springs of Jusenyko, they walk around them.

Door 5: A wall covered with pictures of Heero. Turbo takes a little TOO much
pleasure in blasting it to rubble.

TOM: What took you?
TURBO: New crew member's coming.
CROW: Ohhh. Who's it gonna be? Huh? Huh? Huh?
TURBO: As Xelloss says, "Sore wa, himitsu desu!" ^_^
TOM: Party pooper.

[Fic starts]
Chapter 1: Meetings

TURBO: I hereby call this meeting of the Heero-Haters Club to order!

Ayeka was walking down the hall to Tenchi's bedroom

CROW: This might be good...

with a bottle of Champaign

TOM: Then again, if the spelling is any sign...

in her hands. She reached Tenchi's room and opened the door only to see
Tenchi and Ryoko sleeping in his bed, with Tenchi's arm around Ryoko's
waist.

WASHU/TURBO: WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

At the sight of this Ayeka gasped and was about to drop the bottle of
Champaign but held on to it so she wouldn't wake them up. She ran out of the
house to the lake, fell to her stomach and cried. She calmed down after a
little while.

WASHU: The Aeka I know would try to destroy Earth, not run away.

'Why Tenchi? You already know Yosho did this to before, why did you have to
repeat it`

TOM(Aeka): My life is like a broken record!
TURBO: Do I really need to mention the missing period?
TOM: No.

Ayeka thought, feeling like crying again. She washed her face with the
lake's water before she could start crying again. Looking at her reflection
in the lake, she decided to leave. Looking at her reflection once more, she
decided to go to Tokyo.

(Author: And now: the new crew member!)
>The last door slid open and a girl of 15 walked in, she had golden hair and
eyes as blue as the >sky. She was dressed in the skirt, shirt, and coat she
had worn at school. Her entrance caused >Turbo to do something he was know
for NOT doing: he showed respect.

TURBO(Bowing): Greetings, Darlian-sama.
??????: Turbo, please, I get enough of that at home.
TURBO(sheepish): Sorry Relena.
RELENA: I don't mind, it just gets annoying.
CROW(Nosy as usual.): And how do you two know each other?
TURBO: Old friends.
RELENA: Very old friends.
CROW: Meaning?
TURBO: Meaning that if you want to remain on the ship you'll be quiet.
CROW: Crud.
RELENA: Aw, just tell him.
TURBO: Crow, we went to school together, that's all. Now, Author, could I
get a change of body here?
(Author: On it.)

>Turbo was covered in a black shadow and when it lifted he was no longer an
Autobot, but >human. Turbo was dress in black jeans, a black hunting vest, a
silver shirt, and a pair of black >glasses with silver lenses.

JAY "TURBO" MAGNUS(Turbo in his human form): Thanks.
TOM: Weird.
CROW: To say the least.

She walked back to the house. She went to her room, packed 2 sets of clothes
into a backpack.

RELENA: Hold it, she's leaving forever and she's just packing TWO outfits?!
TURBO: HOAG! CHECK THE OOC WARNING SYSTEM!

>In the projection room, Jok, bored out of what little mind he has, kicks
one of the consoles, >inadvertently fixing the OOC Alarm.

[WARNING! WARNING! THIS FIC IS OUT OF CHARACTER! REPEAT: THIS FIC IS OUT OF
CHARACTER!]

TURBO: JOK, YOU DID IT AGAIN!!!

She grabbed some money from Noboyuki's wallet and left the house, making
sure to be quiet.

TOM: Why didn't she just call home for some cash, I mean her dad IS the
emperor after all.

She headed to the bus stop and waited for the bus to arrive. While she was
waiting, she couldn't help to think about what she saw. 'No. I will not cry
anymore. I have to be strong. I won't let them hurt me,'

RELENA: Did Aeka ever cry in the series?
WASHU: No, she didn't.

Ayeka thought just as the bus arrived. She got on the bus, paying the toll
and sat down looking forward to her new life.

TURBO: Except she was leaving her new life behind and going to her old life.

~~~~~~~~ In Tokyo~~~~~~
Ayeka was walking around feeling a bit happier now that she was away from
Tenchi and Ryoko, and now she could be herself if she wanted to.

TOM: So she's gonna be a whiny, self-serving, opportunistic bitch?
TURBO: She's not whiny.
WASHU: But the rest is right.

'Hmm this is the life, no so-called father trying to get me to marry someone
I don't want to,

RELENA(Aeka, crying): But Daaaaddddyyy, I don't wanna marry Tenchiiiiiii!
TURBO(Slappy Squirrel): Now THAT's comedy!

no Tenchi and Ryoko, but - ` WHAM.

TOM: Aeka was not watching where she walked and wound up being hit by a
train.
TURBO/RELENA(Tenchi/Ryoko): YAY!!! AEKA'S DEAD! AEKA'S DEAD! WAHOO!
CROW: You two do that so well it's scary.

Ayeka fell straight on her butt, after bumping into someone. She looked to
see who it was she saw 5 boys.

TURBO: The BACKSTREET BOYS!!!

One was getting up while another helped. Another one was laughing and the
other 2 were leaning against a wall.

TURBO(Leaning boy, as Squall): Whatever...

The boy that was getting up was Chinese and had black hair tied up into a
ponytail with black eyes.

TOM: When did this become Jackie Chan Adventures?

The boy that was laughing had brown hair pulled into a braid and cobalt
brown eyes. The boy that was helping the Chinese boy up had platinum blond
hair and blue eyes.

One of the boys leaning against the wall had brown hair and forest green
eyes, with his bangs covering one eye. The other boy against the wall had
messy brown hair and cold Prussian blue eyes.

The platinum blonde said, "Hi my name is Quatre Rab-,"

RELENA: Shut UP, Quatre!
TURBO: Hostile today, Relena.
RELENA: He gives girls a bad name, and he's a GUY!
TURBO: Sounds like Quatre alright.

before he could finish the boy with the braid interrupted him.

"Come on Quatre no one wants to know your whole name, hi I'm Duo, the one
you bumped into and is now calling you a weak onna is Wufei, the one with
his bangs covering one eye is Trowa, and the other one on the wall next to
him is Heero. They don't talk much,"

TOM: They make mimes sound loud.

said the one with the braid, now known as Duo.

"Hello, my name is Ayeka. Its nice to meet you," Ayeka said.

"We're looking for Mihoshi village, know where it is," Duo asked.

WASHU: Hold it, Mihoshi Village? There is no such place! What is this guy
watching?
CROW: A better question might be ‘What is this guy smoking?'

"Yes I do but it isn't called Mihoshi village anymore, its called MihoKio
village now," Ayeka answered kindly.

TURBO: Aeka and kind, now THERE'S an oxymoron.
WASHU: But MIHOSHI is the moron!
*In the Projection Room, Hoag plays a rimshot.*

"Uhh, why is it called MihoKio village," Quatre asked. "Cause the two
leaders of that village died the same time the village got destroyed and
became dust," Ayeka told them.

RELENA/TURBO: Ooookay.
CROW: You're REALLY starting to worry me...

"Do you still want me to tell you where it is," Ayeka asked

"No thanks. We don't need help from a weak onna like you," Wufei said
glaring at her.

JOK(In projection room, as Natasha): WEAK ONNA?!?!? Sexist PIG! SISTERHOOD
IS POWERFUL!!
TURBO: I don't know weather to be worried or happy.
RELENA: Both work for me.

Ayeka was taken back by what he said. At first she felt like crying, but
then she remembered what everyone use to say to her back at the Masaki
household.

WASHU(Ryoko): Who ever eats the most okanamiyaki...
WASHU/RELENA(Ryoko/Aeka): GETS TENCHI!!!
TURBO(Tenchi): Girls, please, don't fight! You know how much it costs to
repair the house!

Flashback
TURBO/TOM/CROW: *Do the Wayne's World Do-do-do-do thing.*

Tenchi, Ryoko, Washu, Sasami, and Yosho were all heading out to a clearing
to train. They were going to teach Sasami how to fight.

WASHU: How come I don't remember this?
TURBO: Remember Denny's Theory on Alternate Time Streams?
WASHU: That could be it.

"Hey, do you mind if I come with you," Ayeka asked catching them just before
they left.

CROW(Tenchi): No Aeka, you see, me and Ryoko and Washu and Yosho are going
to ‘wrestle' with Sasami as referee. *WHAM!* *Crow is hit by a giant dove.*
WASHU: Watch it buster!

"No Ayeka. You won't be able to handle the training," said Tenchi.

RELENA(Ryoko): Wouldn't want you to chip a nail.

"Yes Ayeka. We don't want you to get hurt," Ryoko said.

Everyone nodded their agreement and left, not bothering to say good-bye or
when they were going to be back. They just walked away.

TURBO: Like Heero at the end of Gundam W.

End Flashback

TOM(Garth): Let's do the Scooby-Doo ending!
CROW(Wayne): That's do-able!

'How could have not seen it then. Everyone else was in on it. They all
betrayed me,'

WASHU(sarcastic): Yeah, Sasami failed to stab her with a knife when she
walked into the kitchen.
TURBO: That was bitter.
WASHU: This fic is taxing my patience.

Ayeka thought ready to cry. Then she remembered what that Wufei said. She
then got mad.

RELENA(Aeka as Sailor Jupiter): Jurai Thunder CRASH!!!

The boys thought that she was going to cry because of what Wufei said. What
she did though fully surprised all of them, even Trowa and Heero. There on
the ground again was Wufei holding his nose because it was bleeding. They
looked at Ayeka and saw her right hand in a fist.

RELENA/TURBO: I doubt it.
CROW: STOP IT!!!
RELENA/TURBO: Why?
CROW: ARRRGGGHHH!!!!! *Collapses*

'She just punched Wufei,' Quatre, Trowa, Duo, and Heero thought.

TOM: As did Turbo, Relena, Washu, Tom, and Crow.
JOK(in Projection Room): And Jok and Hoag.

"HAHAHAHAHA. Wu-man got beat by a GIRL," said Duo and continued laughing.

TURBO: If I recall Episode Zero correctly, Meiran kicked his ass a lot.

Then a gun was in Ayeka's face.

RELENA: But her nose strangely, was in Heero's hand.
TOM: *Head explodes*
TURBO: And then there were three.

"Who are you and whom do you work for," asked Heero who was holding the gun.

"I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Ayeka and I don't work
for anyone," said Ayeka a little scared.

WASHU: Knowing Aeka she would NOT forget to mention the tiny little fact
that she is princess of the most powerful planet in the galaxy.

"Baka onna. Why the hell did you punch me for," asked Wufei glaring at her.
His nose no longer bleeding.

RELENA(Aeka): Because I could, so THERE!

"You called me a weak onna," said Ayeka mad. She was really getting mad by
Wufei, and really wanted to beat him in to a bloody pulp.

TURBO: Give into the urge!
RELENA: KILL HIM AEKA!!!
TURBO: Uhh, are you okay Relena.
RELENA: Sorry, got a little worked up.

"Well you are weak. All onnas are weak,"

TURBO: Actually, as you were.
RELENA: PULP HIM AND THEN FLATTEN HIM!!!
WASHU(Whispering to Turbo): I thought she was a pacifist.
TURBO(to WASHU. Waku-waku eyes at Relena.): She later learned that peace
could only exist if you were willing to fight for it.

yelled Wufei, also mad. BAM. And again Wufei was on the ground, but this
time holding his stomach. Ayeka punched him again, this time a lot harder.
Duo started cracking up laughing. Ayeka didn't care if Heero had a gun
pointing at her.

TURBO: And where are Asaka and Kamidake throughout all this?

She wasn't going to let him call her weak, like she let the others do. Wufei
got up.

RELENA: CHOP IT OFF!!!
*Turbo swings his hands downward.*
TURBO: Relena, chill a little PLEASE!

"DAMN IT ONNA. STOP PUNCHING ME," yelled Wufei.

"STOP CALLING ME WEAK THEN. YOU CALL ME A WEAK ONNA WHEN YOU YOUR SELF LOOK
LIKE AN ONNA WITH THAT PONYTAIL OF YOURS," Ayeka yelled back. She was way
beyond pissed.

TURBO(B.A. Baracus): I pity da foo'!
WASHU: Didn't that joke get used last mst?
TURBO: But I like watching A-Team...

Now Duo rolling on the ground laughing from what Ayeka said. Quatre was
trying to hold his laughter in, Trowa looked at this scene amusement in his
eyes, and Heero out away the gun, leaned against the wall also watching this
scene but his face had no emotions.

TURBO: He makes Soundwave and Spock look like extroverts.

"I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A GIRL YOU BAKA ONNA," Wufei yelled.

RELENA: Yes, you do.

"Your right, you look like a BAKA ONNA," Ayeka yelled back.

WASHU(Wufei): I am not a stupid girl! I am Chang Wufei, I am JUSTICE!!!

"I do not look like a baka onna," Wufei yelled louder than he did the first
time.

CROW(waking up): This does not bode well...

"FINE, YOU ARE A WEAK BAKA ONNA" Ayeka yelled back, getting madder than she
already was.

TOM(Rebuilt head, Brooklyn accent): Them's fightin' words sucka!

"WHAT" Wufei was getting pissed.

TURBO: No exclamation mark.

"Please stop it both of you" Quatre interrupted their fight.

TURBO/RELENA: Just when it was getting good.
CROW: *Faints again*
TURBO: This is eerie...
RELENA: Why do we keep doing that?...

"I' m sorry but unless he apologizes to me I will NOT take back anything I
said" Ayeka said a little calm to him.

"HA, as if I'll take back anything I said, especially when It's true" Wufei
was smirking now.

TOM(Wufei, ala Duo): I'll run, I'll hide, but I'll never lie!
RELENA: That was bad.
TURBO: Really bad.

Next thing you could see is Wufei laying on the ground once more this time
he was knocked out and you could hear Duo laughing his heart out rolling on
the ground for a while, then .

ALL: Then WHAT?!?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but story.

TURBO: They ended it mid-fight?!
RELENA: That stinks!!!
[fic ends]
[Doors in reverse, Turbo dragging Crow.]

As the msters exited the theater, Turbo slapped Crow awake.

"Wake up, fool! I still have to sweep the floor with you."

"Then let's go." Crow answers.

The two go and sit down in their seats, Hoag, Washu, and Tom behind Crow,
Relena and Jok behind Turbo. Crow laid his cards on the table revealing his
hand...

"Two pair. A pair of red nines and a pair of black nines."

"Full House, aces over sixes. I win."

"But... But... HOW!?!"

"Simple. We were playing Hours, remember, threes, twos, sixes, and queens
were wild. I had an ace, a three, a queen, and two sixes, just be glad I
didn't use five aces."

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I had a little trouble deciding just what fic to mst, so I just choose one
that hadn't been msted and fit the new mster I was adding. Flames, thanks,
comments, and criticism at turbomagnus@excite.com.

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