Adventures in MSTing #9 An MST of Sasami's Quest Part 1 and Anime Deathmatch: Ranma ½, Vs. Tenchi Muyo. by Timothy Turner and Mark Rothlisberger, and now featuring Paul Clark! To e-mail Tim, mail to juraijin@aol.com. To e-mail Mark, mail to JediMax7@aol.com ____________________________________________________________ Tenchi characters copyright AIC/Pioneer. MST3k copyright Best Brains, Inc. Gundam Wing, Outlaw Star, Cowboy Bebop and their characters are copyrightSunrise / TV Asahi. Gunsmith Cats and Rally Vincent belong to Kenichi Sonoda. Anything else copyrighted is credited to theoriginal creators (so we won't have great fines we can't afford for copyright violations OR flames by the authors of the fics we're MSTing). All fics are MSTed with permission. Oh, yes, if any events in this MST were similar to real life, real life would be REALLY FUCKED UP! This is entirely a work of fiction. Any other ideas taken from anything at all are the ideas of their original authors, writers, etc. If any jokes are similar to jokes in another MST, just email us and we'll fix it right away... ____________________________________________________________ On with the show... ____________________________________________________________ The crew for the Winner Queen are: Mark Rothlisberger: "X equals Y to the 4th power to the 9..." Spike Spiegel: "Anybody got a cigarette?" Gene Starwind: "Why do Rally and Tim take cars so seriously?" Rally Vincent: "The GT 500 is a thing beyond most non-Mustang lovers" Timothy Turner: "I just have to ask..WHY DID THEY CRUSH ELEANOR!?!? ::Cries.::" Mark, Gene, and Spike: "IT'S JUST A DAMN CAR!!!" Relena Peacecraft: "This battle is pointless." Tim: Speaking of which, why hasn't the other MSTer moved in on us yet? ____________________________________________________________ Voyages of the Winner Queen Theme sung to the MST3K theme of later seasons such as Season 10 original theme. Original theme copyrighted Best Brains, Inc. Some original lyrics have been incorporated and are not ours. Some lyrics are small modifications of the original lyrics and are not ours. We do not own the theme song and are not making money off these MSTS. REPEAT: WE DO NOT OWN THIS THEME SONG! WE ARE NOT MAKING MONEY OFF THESE MSTS! WE ARE HOPELESSY OBSESSED WITH MST3K AND ARE DOING THIS TO FUFILL OUR PATHETIC LIVES! SO THERE! ____________________________________________________________ (chourus sings) In the anime dimension, Somewhere in outer space. A group of losers who said too much Are stuck at Quatre's place. Mr. Winnner has made himself a pledge, After he was pushed beyond the edge. The Gundam pilot laughs in glee And carries out his plan of insanity!!! (Quatre: I'll break you!!!) Quatre: (singing) I'll send them cheesy fanfics The worst I can find! (Quatre's minions singing) La-la-la! They'll have to sit and watch them all, 'cause I'm the kind of guy that's unkind! (Quatre's minions singing) La-la-la! (chorus sings) They'll travel around the galaxy And see all kinds of peeps (la-la-la!) They'll fight to keep their sanity, and this time it's for keeps! LOSER ROLL-CALL!: TIM! Tim: It's mayhem time! SPIKE! Spike: Let's jam! MARK! Mark: AHH! Page breaks!!! RALLY! Rally: Hands up! RELENA! Relena: HEEERO!!!! GEEEEEEEENE! Gene: Let's goooooooo! (chorus sings) If you're wondering how you can watch Something you can read, (Quatre's minions singing) La-la-la! Just remember you can use you're mind So let it take the lead, for Voyages of the Winner Queen! 1...2...3...4...5...6...7... _________________________________________________________ ::The crew minus Mark is assembled in the living area relaxing. Mark comes in wearing a suit and tie with some papers in his hand. Everyone looks at him strangely.:: Gene: Ok...I'll ask. Why the hell are you wearing that monkey suit? Mark: Quatre asked me to read this wire of stuff that's been happening on Earth. He also told me to wear this so that it would look for like a news broadcast. Relena: That's good. I want to know whats going on while we're stuck up here. Spike: Was the Bugs Bunny tie Quatre's idea? Mark: ::covering his Bugs Bunny tie:: It's my favorite tie. Not to mention my lucky tie. Rally: I think its cute. Tim: WHAT ABOUT MUSTANGS?! Mark: Where's Heero? Relena: He said something about building a technoligical terror that makes the Zero system seem like a walk in the park and that will have enough power to tear this ship to shreds. All other MSTers: ...oh. ::Quatre appears on the big screen:: Quatre: Enough of this! Get on with the news! Mark: Right. Trading was crisp at the start of the day, with some brisk business on the floor. Rubber hardened and string remained confident. Little bits of tin consolidated, although biscuits sank after an early gain and stools remained anonymous. Armpits rallied well after a poor start. Nipples rose dramatically during the morning but had declined by mid afternoon, while teeth clenched and buttocks remained firm. Small dark furry things increased severely on the floor, whilst rude jellies wobbled up and down and bounced against rising thighs which had spread to all parts of the country by mid afternoon. After lunch, naughty things dipped sharply, forcing giblets upwards with the nicky nacky noo. Ting tang tong rankled dithely, little tipples pooped and poppy things went pong. Gibble gabble gobble went the rickety rackety roo... Gene: Huh? Tim: What the hell...? Rally: (laughing her ass off) Relena: Well, I don't think thats an appropriate story. Spike: (casually) Mark's gone insane again. Mark: Insane nothing. That's how it's written. Quatre: Wait...keep reading Mark. Mark: This just in...oh, no. We have a MST to do. Its a....a... All other MSTers: A what? Mark: ...a...Sasami lemon. Rally: Dear God, no. Spike: You were saying something about how Quatre's fics were starting to make sense, Gene? Gene: Well I didn't think he would go this far. Relena: I agree. This is too horrible. Even for you, Quatre. Tim: Uh-oh...time for the emergency bleach supply. Mark: ::at the news desk crying:: Quatre: It's called Sasami's Quest. Look on the bright side...at least they spelled it right this time. 7...6...5...4...3...2...1.. _________________________________________________________ >Hi there! All: HI! >This is the first part of a 5 part story. All: Christ help us! Mark: I hope there aren't any page breaks in here. >It is also my first attempt at writinge something in English >(i'm French), Mark: ::In a familiar voice to Spike.:: HELLO, BOY! ::Evil grin. Mark flies backwards using his magic.:: Spike: Damn it! Why do you plague me with horrible memories, Mark? >therefore there must be some errors in it. >Legal stuff. >This story is in the Tenchi Muyo OAV universe. Spike: Who bets there will be Aeka incest moves in this one? >All right reserved to whoever posses them blah blah blah you get >the point. Rally: How can you own the rights to something if you pose it? Tim: Ahh, my posse. >Important stuff Relena: Are you sure anything important can come out of this fic? >I would like to thank JEEPEAGLE and WYVOREN for their help with >the english translation of this text. Merci ! Gene: A car and a Swedish guy helped translate this fic? >Sasami's Quest I Rally: I think I'm going to just pistol whip myself into unconsciousness now. Tim: Five parts? I need a whole lot of bleach. >It had been a hard day for Sasami. In addition to the daily chores of cleaning and cooking, Mark: (as Ryoko) Where are you going Sasami? Bring me some more sake! I own your ass bitch! Get back here! >she was forced to stop yet another battle between her sister and Ryoko, Gene: At least they didn't show the fight. I'm getting sick of watching those. >fight to defend the carrot reserves against Ryo-o-ki Tim: Someone really needs to preach to Ryo-Ohki about her gluttony. Rally: They should put an invisible wall pet-thing around the carrot reserves. >and save Tenchi from one of Washu's new experiments. Gene: The Washu hand-job saga continues. >At last, all of that was done and she could finally relax in the family >flying-domed-bathhouse (who built that anyway ?). Tim: As the resident Tenchi expert I say Washu built it. >Being alone except for Ryo-o-ki, she left her towel on the side of the >bath, enjoying the contact of the water on her body. Spike: I dont like where this is going already. >She liked this. All: AUGH!!!!!!! Mark: Relena. Do you have some barf bags? Relena: I forgot those! >When the others girls were in the bath with her, she'd always keep her >towel on, being too shy to show her little body to all of those fully >grown women. All: OH MY GOD!!!!! Rally: What kind of people are we? Pedophiles? >For more than a hour, Sasami was in a near-sleep state, being awakened >from time to time by surprise attacks by Ryo-o-ki Relena: When Cabbits Attack... >who kept trying to poke her on the head while staying at a safe distance >from the water. Mark: Let me apply some logic here. Poking is a short range thing in Ryo-Ohki's case because Ryo-Ohki has no opposable thumbs to hold a long object to poke Sasami with. Gene: Unless you count her in her human form. >She finally decided it was time to get out. Tim: Good idea. We don't want any more descriptive details on Sasami comparing her body to grown women. End bath scene NOW! >It was long past her usual bed time. After all, she needed to be awake >and ready more than a hour before the rest of the gang to prepare >breakfast. Rally: All for those ungrateful freeloaders. Relena: There should be a law in the Masaki household that bans exclusive Sasami labor. >She stood up, her eyes closed, feeling the water rolling down her body. All: Okay... >When she opened her eyes, she saw her reflection on the clear water. >She knew that it would be many years before she could really enter >the battle for Tenchi's love. Spike: The last thing thing we need is another cat fight for Tenchi's affection. Gene: Geez. Can't she just go home and think of another guy? Another thing we don't need is another relative of Tenchi and an incestous sex drive. >Would he still be available? Mark: I hope he's dead. The bastard needs to go to hell for not taking Ryoko or Kiyone. >The young girl continued gaze at her reflection. All: Nooooooooo... >She often saw Ryoko naked in the baths, and therefore realized >that she was a long way from womanhood. Rally: No shit! Tim: Rally, on the other hand, is a hot babe! Rally: Don't start. I can take your head off in one second if you don't watch it! >Her breasts had begun to grow less than a year ago. She raised her hands to >them, All: Nooooooooo! >they were still small but firm, and the little nipples All: NOOOOOOOOOOO! >were pointing out on each of them. Spike: Quatre really did it this time. This is worse than Dirty Cops. >Recently she had discovered that her nipples sometimes felt hard. Relena: As if she were cold? >More specifically, they felt hard when Tenchi was around. All: ::GROAN!:: >Still looking at her reflection in the water, she let her hand trail down >to her flat, smooth stomach. Mark: (as Sasami) Are my eyes really that big? Gene: More importantly, please don't make a run for the border... Others: OH MY SWEET LORD THAT WAS SICK!! Rally: Don't ever talk about *THAT* like that again! Gene: ::Breaking down crying.:: I'M SORRY GUYS! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Tim: GENE! Hang in there! Don't let Quatre win! >Her waist was thin, but not to the point of being boney. Spike: Ladies and gentlmen, the new poster child... >She finally put both her hands on her waist and looked at her sex; >a fine line was separating the two thin layers of skin. Tim: ::Pulls out a HUGE-ASS box of powdered bleach and starts chugging.:: Rally: Can...can I have some? Mark: Rally...please shoot me. Tim: ::Stops chugging for a sec.:: THAT'S MY LINE! Relena: If anyone needs me, I'll be here emptying everything I ate last night. ::And does so:: Spike: I'm going to shoot myself. Gene: ::Loads a number 9 into his caster gun and points it at his head.:: Tim: Wait a sec guys! We can't kill ourselves now. Life's too beautiful despite this horrible monster we face now. So I offer you all the bleach you can chug till you pass out... Others: GIVE! >Recently, she had happily noticed the appearance of little >blue hairs on the lower part of her belly and on her nether >lips. Spike: What the fuck? >Jurai society being quite conservative about sex, Mark: NO WAY! Tim: So incest is considered conservative sex? I think not. Gene: It's about as conservative as...fuck it I can't think of anything to compare it to. >the only thing she knew is that she had started to look like the >other girls. Relena: I hope Sasami's Quest isn't a five year-long fic... Tim: Telling of her many sexual private experiences and... Gene: The nasty things she does in bed and... Rally: What she's about to do with her own relatives... Spike: You can tell? Rally: Call it woman's inutition... Sometimes I want it shut off... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT! ::Bleach starts kicking in.:: >On some nights, when Aieka and her are in their beds, she can hear her >sister moving under her futon while gently moaning Tenchi's name. Spike: Can somebody give Aeka a GOOD-ASS beating? We need to cure her of her illness. Rally: @_@ Damn. I still can't get the same effect as Tim. Tim? Tim: @_@* Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude~~~~~~~~~~! Rally: FUCK! You must teach me, Tim! Tim: @_@! Wha...? Rally: Teach me the secret of bleach mind diving! Tim: ::Drool flows out of mouth:: @_@ Spike: I'd leave him alone. He's much easier to deal with like that. Relena: ::to Mark:: Is he always like this? Mark: Yep. It mostly happens when things get crazier than he is and he needs a way to be even more insane. Relena: And does it work? Mark: About 99% of the time. Relena: In that case....TIM! GIVE ME THE BOX!!! ::starts chugging:: >Feigning sleep, Sasami could not help but notice the strange feeling >between her legs. One time she even moved a hand to the spot and found >that it was a little wet. All: NOOOOO!!!!!!! ::rush out of the theatre:: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7 __________________________________________________________ ::in the living area:: Mark: UGH!!! (goes to the bathroom and throws up) Rally and Tim: (still zoned out on bleach) DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! Relena: I think I will accept Heero's promise to kill me now. Spike: (hand shaking involuntary) Cigarette....must light....cigarette.... Gene: I've seen some weird shit in my lifetime, but this...! ::Quatre appears on the big screen:: Quatre: So...how's the fic going? ::Everyone...including Relena...gives him the finger:: Quatre: (laughing maniacally) Good. Now...who wants lunch? ::All MSTers throw up at the mention of the word lunch:: Quatre: Dammit! Who's going to clean that up? Gene: I dunno. Duo's still on that other ship. Spike: I say we just ditch the little bastard and find another janitor. Quatre: You may have a point there Spike. I'll do some more looking but for now...... All MSTers: No....not that! Quatre: GET BACK IN THERE AND WATCH THE DAMN FIC! All MSTers: NOOOOOOO!!!!! Quatre: What do you mean 'NO'? Tim: (making incoherent sentences due to the bleach) Quatre: What did he say? Mark: What Bleach Boy means to say is have you even seen what you've subjected us to? Everyone else: YEAH! Quatre: Ummmm....no. ::Quatre takes a look at the fic and turns green:: Quate: (nauseated) Ok...I see your point. Rally and Relena: About damn time! (looks at each other nervously) Gene: Ok...the Caster suicides can wait until another time. Spike: (after a long smoke of his cigarrette) ::Mellow:: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Quatre: Ok. You will now be watching "Anime Deathmatch Ranma 1/2 vs. Tenchi Muyo!. Get in there. 7...6...5...4...3...2...1... ________________________________________________________ >Hey, anime fans! The question has popped up time and time again. Mark: When are you going to clean your room, Tim? >"Who would win in a fight; Tenchi or Ranma?". All: Ranma. >Well, I have to tell you that I've been wondering that too. Relena: What is the meaning of life? >Sure Tenchi has the "Wings Of The Light Hawk", but Ranma could >just be tricky enough to find some way to bypass that. Sure >Tenchi beat Kagato, Kain (abet with some help from his friends), Tim: Uuuuum, no. Tenchi didn't beat Kain. Washu's bigass cannon killed Kain. And Achika weakened him. >and Yuzuha. Tim: That he did there. >But certainly Pantyhose Taro, Herb, and Saffron were no pushovers >either. Gene: What the hell? Those aren't Tenchi characters! Mark: No. Those are Ranma characters. >Sure Tenchi can put up with Ryoko and Ayeka (And survive), but Ranma >has to put up with Akane (Nuf said). Rally: We women do rule. Yep. Relena: I agree with Rally. >Well, I'm here right now to solve the question of who would be the >better fighter. And I'm going to do so as only I, PETER SUZUKI, can do. Spike: Oh, Christ. Not him. Relena: Who's he? Mark: From what I've read, only one of the weirdest fanfic authors out there. Rally: Like Tank Cop? Gene: GAHHH!!! Don't say that name. Rally: What...Tank Cop? Gene: AAGGHRRAA!!! Tim: Look at it this way...its not a Sasami lemon. All MSTers: DAMN RIGHT!!! >By brutal battles between the cast of both series, in an attempt to find >out who are the better weirdoes. . . Mark: That's us! Especially him!!!!!! ::Points to Tim.:: >Okay, which of you jerks put THAT in the cue card? Gene: Mike Myers from Wayne's World did that. >Anyway, Peter Suzuki is (kinda) proud to present; Relena: You've got to be fully proud or not proud at all. Which is it? >ANIME DEATHMATCH: RANMA ½, VS. TENCHI MUYO. Gene: Break out the snacks. This one's gonna be fun. >The series "Ranma ½" is the work of Rumiko Takahashi, Tim: Especially Kagome or Sango from Inu Yasha. Rally: ::Leans to Mark.:: What's he rambling about? Mark: Nothing. There are still some anime women that have a more powerful attraction effect on Tim than you. Rally: At least he'll get away from me if one of them happens to join us. >and "Tenchi Muyo" is owned by Pioneer LDC, and AIC. All rights are >reserved to them, and I'm just borrowing the characters right now for >some fun. All: AUUUUUGH!!! Tim: NO! Rally: This isn't a lemon is it? Please no! >(Oh, and if anyone else should show up, they are owned by other people too. >Just to let you know. ^_^ ) >Round 1. Ranma Saotome vs. Tenchi Masaki. All: GO RANMA! >We are gathered in a large stadium, for this event. Thousands of people >are in the stands, Relena: In the garbage cans! Spike: In the ventalation system! >all of them shouting at the top of their lungs. Most are cheering for >Tenchi to win. All: RANMA!!!! Relena: I have $100 on Ranma. Gene: I put down some Dragonite for Ranma. Rally: Ranma. Spike: Ranma. Mark: Even though I've never seen the show before...Ranma. Tim: I'll be the odd one of the bunch and bet on Tenchi. ::Everyone else beats Tim with blunt objects:: >The rest are either telling Ranma that if he wins this he will die, >or that if he does not win this he will die. Spike: You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. >Ranma is currently stretching his limbs, getting ready for the fight. >Tenchi seems to be saying a prayer for a short, painless battle. Gene: (as Tenchi) Oh, mommy! Please don't let my diapers get soiled! >The referee announces for the two combatants to take their places, at the >center of the arena. "GRUMPMUFFMUFFGAGLLEGALLYWHOOMUPH!!!" Mark: HEY! Stop casting magic spells!!!!! >Tenchi and Ranma both walk over to the referee, who is at the center of the >arena. Mark: My copyright agents have come to take you down. No one cast magic spells like I do or they're gonna answer to them. Tim: No red aura...ok eveyone, we're safe. >"What did you just say?" Tenchi and Ranma both ask the referee. Spike: He must have had gauze over his mouth like I did. >The referee does not answer, and turns away leaving the two confused teens, >at the center of the arena. Rally: No rules. So they're not held liable for any injuries or foul play! >Tenchi and Ranma both shrug, and take fighting stances toward each other. >ROUND ONE, FIGHT!! Mark: MORTAL KOMBAT!!! > They are about to attack when *SPLASH!!!* Ranma is suddenly drenched in >ice cold, soda. Gene: Dammit...why can't there be a Ranma fic without the curse? > A bunch of slightly older teenagers, in the stands behind Ranma, are >laughing at the boy, now turned girl. Spike: It seems like some guys came to the match to doo one thing... turn Ranma to female Ranma. > "Get out of here, Saotome!!" Shouts one of them. Tim: FREE BLEACH! Others: SHUT UP, TIM! > "Yeah, this is supposed to be a 'Man-To-Man' battle! No GIRLS allowed!!" >jeers another. Mark: ::As one of the offending guys:: Yeah! Go play with the dolls! > "Grrrrr. . . FIERCE TIGER DOMINEERING BLAST!!!!!" Shouts Ranma, launching Tim: Fierce Tiger Domineering Blast? Correct me if I'm wrong...but I thought Ranma 1/2 didn't have 'chi' attacks. Mark: You haven't seen Ranma so shut up. You don't know if there are chi attacks or not. >her chi attack at the offending boys. After three seconds, all that is left >of rows five through nine, and consequently the offending boys, is a >smoldering hole. Relena: Looks like Wing Zero's twin buster rifle strikes again. > Ranma, in front of the entire shock-frozen audience, takes off her shirt to >ring out the cold soda from it. ::All the guys are on the floor with nosebleeds:: >"Stupid, pig-headed, no good, rotten, butt-faced, squirrel for brains, perverts! Guys: HEY! >Sometimes I wonder if Akane was RIGHT about guys." Ranma quickly put her shirt >back on, and faced Tenchi. "Now then, where were. . . we?" Tim: Uh....DURDURDURDURDURDURDURDUR!!!! Gene: Yeah...what he said. > Tenchi has fainted, and blood is still streaming out of his nose. Ranma >stares in confusion, as Tenchi falls forward, with a *thunk!* Mark: I've said it before, and I'll say it again...'Tenchi is a wuss.' > A majority of the crowd boos, as Ranma is declared the winner. > "Geez. I guess that guy's not been eating right, or something." Said >Ranma. Spike: And one who eats Akane's cooking should talk? Tim: I'm glad I can't bleed to death here in the Anime Dimension unless I get cut in battle. Gene: Damn right. You real world types would have bled to death if your nose bled every time you saw a female. >WINNER: Ranma. Rally: Pay up, Tim. $100 to each of us. Tim: DAMMIT! Relena: I like it when I win. >Round 2. Akane Tendo vs. Ryoko Habuki. Gene: Horrible cook vs. terrible cook. > Akane and Ryoko stand at opposite ends of a boxing ring. > "I can handle her." says Akane, with more than a little confidence. Relena: Do you think we should tell her how wrong she is? Spike: Nah. Let her figure it our for herself. Mark: This is going to be one hell of a painful lesson for her. Spike: And your point would be? Tim; It's going to be fun. > "Are you sure, Akane?" asks Akane's eldest sister, Kasumi. "She looks >really tough." Tim: ::As Kasumi:: And should you die, can I have your stereo? >"So what? She doesn't even know martial arts. This will be easy." >"Sure, Akane." says Akane's other sister, Nabiki. "Now just sign your name >here." Nabiki holds out a piece of paper, and a pen. Gene: And don't read the fine print. > Akane picks up the paper, and starts looking it over. "What's this?" Rally: ::As Nabiki:: This is your permission for us to donate the vital organs you're going to lose to Ryoko in this fight to the needy. > "It's your will, to your next of kin." Answers Nabiki. Rally: Well, I was close. > Akane tosses the paper back at Nabiki, along with the pen. The pen misses >hitting Nabiki, and goes flying into the audience. There is a scream of >pain heard from the audience, but no one takes any notice of it. Gene: Man, THIS audience sure pays attention to their surroundings. Tim: Getting a pen in the eye is painful... Rally: That bleach makes Tim the annoying seer of the painfully obvious. > Anyway, Akane and Ryoko turn toward each other, as the referee walks to the >center of the ring, to tell the two combatants to go to the center of the >ring. Spike: ::puts his hand to his forehead and shakes his head:: Here we go agian. >"GRUMPMUFFMUFFGAGLLEGALLYWHOOMUPH!!!" Mark: I SAID NO SPELL CASTING!!! Rally: Chill, Mark. Tim: Yeah. Remember your blood pressure. > Akane and Ryoko walk to the center of the ring. >"What did you just say?" Akane and Ryoko both ask the referee. Gene: ::As referee:: I said GRUMPMUFFMUFFGAGLLEGALLYWHOOMUPH!!! Can't anyone understand English? Relena: Well, they ARE Japanese. Mark: I think the question was rhetorical Relena. Relena: Oh. >The referee does not answer, and turns away leaving the two confused women, >at the center of the arena. Tim: What kind of bleach is the referee eating? Looks like I'll have to change brands. > Akane and Ryoko both shrug, and take fighting stances. Mark: Once again, MORTAL KOMBAT!!! > I'm going to kick your butt across Japan!" shouted Akane. Gene: Which shouldn't take very long. Spike; And it is the opposite way around. Ryoko will do that. >"HA! Give it your best shot, little gir-*WHAM!!*" Ryoko is cut off, as >Akane's mallet collides with the space pirate's face. Spike: What is it about anime and mallets? It's one of those unsolved mysteries of the universe. >"HA!" Akane smiles, smugly. "Looks like I wi- *CRUNCH!!*" Rally: And Capt. Crunch makes his apperance. > Akane looks in horror as Ryoko crushes the mallet with her bare hands, and >glares at Akane. Ryoko grabs Akane by her shirt Guys: ALLRIGHT! HOT LESBO SEX!!! Girls: ::Shakes their heads:: Boys. >and picks her up into the air. Ryoko then starts twirling Akane >above her head. "Around, and around, and away you GO!!!" Ryoko flings >Akane into the air, and out of the area, into the sky, and out of the >camera's field of vision. Tim: ::as Akane:: WOW...I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE!!! >WINNER: Ryoko. Gene: ::Sarcastically:: Like we didn't see that one coming. >ROUND 3: Ryoga Hibiki, vs. Mihoshi Kuramitsu. Mark: Airhead vs. airhead. >The setting for this battle is at a football field. The two combatants do >not seem to be paying attention to each other, as Mihoshi is currently >checking her bazooka (You know, that giant gun she uses from time to time, Gene: Correction...RAILGUN! >that isn't supposed to be loaded,yet somehow manages to fire and destroy stuff, >anyway), Tim: I'm sure we all remember that one. >and Ryoga seems to be having an argument with some of the judges, who are in the >bleachers sipping potato whisky, and singing off key. All: ::Sings the 'Monty Python Philosopher's Drinking Song':: >. . Ryoga does not know that last part, because he can neither see, nor >hear them. Spike: That's because he's stone drunk. > The referee walks to the center of the field, to tell the two combatants to >go to the center of the field. Mark: WHY GOD!? WHY?!?!?!?!?! >"GRUMPMUFFMUFFGAGLLEGALLYWHOOMUPH!!!" Mark: ::Starts to get angry:: heeheehee Rally: Mark! Calm down. >All eyes nervously turn toward the referee, who simply does not answer, and >walks away. Relena: Anyone but me think this joke is getting old? Gene: I do. Spike: Same here. Rally: Me too. Tim: Ditto. >Everyone shrugs, and went back to what they were doing. Spike: God knows I would. Gene: I could tell someone that have a fine ass if I was that referee. And I could get away with it. > Ryoga continues complaining to the judges. "I will NOT fight a girl, you >hear me!!! It is amoral, Mark: Fighting a girl is romantic? Tim: It is a healthy part of a relationship to fight each other. Spike: To the death? Tim: I don't know! ^_^ Gene: You are officially scaring me, Tim. >unchivalrous, and just plainly something that I DO NOT DO!!! And if you >can't understand that, then *BLAM!!!*" Ryoga was suddenly silenced by a >plasma blast, from behind. Mark: He talked too much anyway. Spike: God at work folks. Mihoshi is His tool. > "Oops! I guess the safety WASN'T on." Observed Mihoshi, as she let go of >the trigger, and looked to see what damage was done. Relena: Apparently, there was much damage. >She saw that she accidentally made a rather large hole in the bleachers, >but did not see anyone injured. She did however see a pile of roasted pork-chops, >on the ground in front of the hole, that smelled absolutely delicious. Gene: ...with a lite hint of plasma burns. >As she started munching on one of the pork-chops, she wondered where her >opponent went. He was there, just a minute ago. Rally: Well that killed my appetite for a while. >WINNER: Mihoshi. All: ::Bored:: YAY! >ROUND 4. Azusa Shiratori, vs. Misaki Jurai. Gene: Um...Am I right to be worried right now? Mark: Yep! Tim: Affirmative. Rally: Shielding is up. That should protect the theatre. Relena: I will be hiding under the seat just in case. ::And does so:: Spike: I would start running right now to get a headstart from the audience. > The scene for this battle is a poorly lit section of what looks to be a >large shopping mall. The two combatants are nowhere to be found at the >moment, Rally: They're somewhere getting high. >and murmurs from the audience state that the combatants have not >been seen since the fight was set up. Gene: Because the combatants were at the psyciatric ward making reservations for themselves. > The referee walks to the center of the field, to tell the two combatants to >go to the center of the field. Mark: no...NO MORE!!!! >"GRUMPMUFFMUFFGAGLLEGALLYWHOOMUPH!!!" Tim: This is worse than page breaks. Relena: What happens at page breaks. Gene: It drives Mark nuts and he's worse than Tim on bleach. Spike: And he starts casting these weird spells that destroy everyting. We had to go through six theatres before we figured it out. Relena: This I have to see. Tim, Spike, and Gene: YOU DON'T WANT TO GET HIM STARTED!!! >The mannequins in the store windows nervously turn toward the referee, who >simply does not answer, and walks away. The mannequins shrugged, and went >back to mannequining. Spike: Golems that moonlight as mannequins? > For a few moments, nothing happens. Then *CRASH* *WHAM* *OOH! SO CUTE!!!* Tim: ::Bleach kicking in.:: HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! >Misaki and Azusa exit out of store windows, each holding several >miscellaneous items in their arms, Gene: Snatch and run! >and running at full speed into other stores. Shiratori crashes into a >'Kay Bee, Toys'. Rally: The number one cause of death in Shiratorimobile accidents is a head-on collision with a Kay-Bee Toy Store. >Moments later, dozens of 'Furbys' can be heard, claiming to be dying, and >incapable of breathing. Tim: (as a Furby) I'm dying... can't-can't-can't-breathe HEE HEE!!! can't-can't-can't-breathe HEE HEE!!! Spike: (as Furby) WHHHHHEEEEEEE!!!!!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!! Mark: (as Furby) SAVE OUR RACE!! PLEASE GET A RESTRAINING ORDER! >Misaki rushes into a pet shop. Just a few moments later several animals >can be heard, being crushed to death. Rally: Someone call the ASPCA!!!! Tim: Misaki gets arrested on Animal Precint on Animal Planet. >"Who was the idiot that decided to have the battle HERE?" asks someone in >the audience. Gene: The spell casting referee wrote the order and got it messed up. >Unfortunately, this got the attention of the two 'combatants'. Misaki and >Azusa both look toward the audience, Spike: Some shit is about to hit the fan... >who all consecutively get large sweatdrops on the back of their heads, and >then calmly exit the battle area. Spike: If I know people, they won't lave calmly. >"GYAA!!! THEY'RE LOOKING THIS WAY!!! RUN!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! HELP >ME!!! Gene: I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!! >HELP ME!!! MOMMY!!! WHERE ARE YOU MOMMY!?!?! Mark: Tenchi's in the audience? >TOSHI, YOU'RE FIFTY YEARS OLD, SO STOP CALLING FOR YOUR MOMMY, ALREADY!!! Tim: (in a moment of sanity) Toshi is one of many words for "age in years" in Japanese. "Toshiyori" means elderly... Others: O_O;; Mark: Why can't you be normal like that all the time? Tim: (fading back to insanity) I NEED SCISSORS!!! 61!!!!! Mark: You've been playing too much Metal Gear Solid 2... >AAH!!! GODZILLA!!! MOOO!!! HEE-HAW!!! HEE-HAW!!! QUACK!!! QUACK!!! Tim: GGRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Mark: MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Gene: BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Spike: HOOOOOOOOOONNNNKKKKKK!!!!!!! Rally: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! Relena: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRROOOOO!!!!!! >QUICKLY, LOAD THEM UP, TWO BY TWO!!! THE END IS UPPON US!!! WE ARE ALL >DOOMED!!! Tim: Yes. The end is upon us. Men, let us pray that the Teletubbies will grant us a quck death... Others: O_O;;; Rally: Someone is going to have to find his bleach stash... >HELP!!! Mark; (as Regis) Sorry, but you've used up all your lifelines. Gene: (also as Regis) And the audience is out of the question. >NEIL, DID YOU EAT YOUR CHUNKY SOUP!?!?! Tim, Spike, Gene, and Mark: *PUKE*!!!! Rally: What was that for? It was only Chunky Soup... Guys: (again) *PUKE*!!!! Rally: Why are you vomiting at the mention of Chunky... Guys: (yet again) *PUKE*!!!! Tim: Magical Girl Pretty Noboyuki... Squirrel incident... Old joke used when watching fics over again... (Author's note: See Adventures in MSTing Number 1: Magical Girl Pretty Nobuyuki. The Squirrel Incident will painfully make itself clear) >HELP ME!!! OH GOD, I THINK THEY'RE COMMING THIS WAY!!! Tim: You think? Insulting Misaki was a deadly mistake. >FEETS DON'T FAIL ME NOW!!! Mark: Dr. Scholls here for the test of a lifetime. One man is wearing our brand of sneaker insoles and this man is not. If this guy dies it's his fault he didn't buy our product... >THE CHAMPAGNE'S NOT CORBELL!!! Rally: And a guy too drunk not to notice... Spike: Damn. He drank a LOT of that to one: notice it's not Corbell, and two, get drunk...? >AAH!!! GODZILLA!!! GOD SAVE BILL GATES!!! Tim: He's in grave danger of being visited by the Teletubbies! >CROOOOOW!!! Tim: What's the original MST3K song doing in here? >EEA, IE, EEA, IE, OH!!! Gene: Old McDonald decided to come to the match... >SENATOR SONNY BONO, WHITE CURTOSY PHONE!!! SENATOR SONNY >BONO, WHITE CURTOSY PHONE!!! Mark: It's Cher asking for child support money again. >AAH!!! GODZILLA!!! Tim: Again? >OOH, EE, OOH, AH, AH!!! Spike: Ching, chang, walla, walla bing bang... Rally: And dont forget I or U and sometimes Y. >OUCH!!! YOU STEPPED ON MY FOOT!!! WELL THEN WALK ON THE BOTTOMS!!! Relena: That would look real silly. ^_^ >BA-DA-BUMP!!! MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!! WHERE'S MY BABY!?!?! WHERE'S MY >BABY!?!?! YOU'RE STANDING ON ME, MOM!!! Spike: Social Services are going to have a hey day with that one. >WILL THE PERSON DRIVING THE BROWN PINTO PLEASE GO TO THE PARKING LOT, >YOUR CAR IS ON FIRE!!! Rally: I'm sorry about the car, but getting away from those two should be top priority. >RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, PEOPLE!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! All: IT'S THE TELETUBBIES!!! THE TELETUBBIES ARE AFTER US!!! >THAT DOOR SAYS 'PULL' YOU FOOL!!!" Mark: And everyone has a good old time. >And before you can say, "GYAA!!! THEY'RE LOOKING THIS WAY!!! RUN!!! RUN >FOR YOUR LIVES!!! HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!! MOMMY!!! WHERE ARE YOU >MOMMY!?!?! TOSHI, YOU'RE FIFTY YEARS OLD, SO STOP CALLING FOR YOUR MOMMY, >ALREADY!!! AAH!!! GODZILLA!!! MOOO!!! HEE-HAW!!! HEE-HAW!!! QUACK!!! >QUACK!!! QUICKLY, LOAD THEM UP, TWO BY TWO!!! THE END IS UPPON US!!! WE >ARE ALL DOOMED!!! HELP!!! NEIL, DID YOU EAT YOUR CHUNKY SOUP!?!?! HELP >ME!!! OH GOD, I THINK THEY'RE COMMING THIS WAY!!! FEETS DON'T FAIL ME >NOW!!! THE CHAMPAGNE'S NOT CORBELL!!! AAH!!! GODZILLA!!! GOD SAVE BILL >GATES!!! CROOOOOW!!! EEA, IE, EEA, IE, OH!!! SENATOR SONNY BONO, WHITE >CURTOSY PHONE!!! SENATOR SONNY BONO, WHITE CURTOSY PHONE!!! AAH!!! >GODZILLA!!! OOH, EE, OOH, AH, AH!!! OUCH!!! YOU STEPPED ON MY FOOT!!! >WELL THEN WALK ON THE BOTTOMS!!! BA-DA-BUMP!!! MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!! WHERE'S MY >BABY!?!?! WHERE'S MY BABY!?!?! YOU'RE STANDING ON ME, MOM!!! WILL >THE PERSON DRIVING THE BROWN PINTO PLEASE GO TO THE PARKING LOT, YOUR CAR IS >ON FIRE!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, PEOPLE!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! THAT DOOR SAYS >'PULL' YOU FOOL!!!" Spike: -_-; Was it absolutely nessecary to go through all of that again? >,everyone in the stands exited the area, leaving just a >camera facing Azusa and Misaki, who are now standing in the middle of the >path, between the shops. Mark: TOMBSTONE...before the showdown. >"Where did everybody go?" Misaki and Azusa both asked at the same time. Rally: If they're smart, they got the hell out of there. >They then turned toward the camera, that was still facing them. "OOH! SO >CUTE!!!" They then rush at the camera. Relena: ::As the cameraman:: MOMMY!!! >We suddenly see Misaki's armpit, then darkness. There is a sudden >*CRUNCH!*, and we loose video feed. Tim: What the hell is Capt. Crunch doing here? OH NO...HE'S WAS SENT BY THE SUN!!!! DAMMIT!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! >WINNER: Do YOU want to go back, and find out?!? Relena: Depends...would we get hazard pay out of it? 1...2...3...4...5...6...7... _________________________________________________ ::In the lounge the gang is watching TV. Heero is taking a break on his masterpiece.:: TV: Are you tired of those poor abs of yours? All the guys: ::Look at their gut and then the TV.:: TV: Then wait no more! Here's the solutiuon for you! This product is called "Sit on Your Ass AB MACHINE!" If you have money and you think looks are the only thing needed to attract good-looking people then this is the thing for you! And if you call within the next twenty minutes you'll get "free" shit that'll automatically ship and be billed to your credit card! Cheesy actor: ::Smiling SO DAMN FUCKING FAKE!!!!:: I used Sit on Your Ass Ab Machine and look at my abs! ::Did I mention she sounds cheesy, too?:: TV Announcer: ::FUCKING ANNOYINGLY!!!:: AMAZING! Tim: ::Thinking to self.:: Maybe Rally doesn't notice me because my gut's a little pudgy and not well defined. Gene: ::Thinking to self.:: Maybe Melfina has been turning me away lately because I eat a lot. I may lose my ab muscle tone! Spike: ::Thinking to self.:: When I get out of here Faye will want me so bad because I would have been using that machine for so long! Mark: ::Thinking to self.:: Aina... I'll be back for you... WITH BETTER ABS! Heero: ::Thinking to self.:: Ab Machine plus me and Relena equals better sex. Rally: ::Looks at the guys watching the commercial and sighs.:: You guys really think that shit will work? You'll get ripped off. Guys: ::Not paying attention.:: Rally: I'm getting a snack. ::gets up and leaves.:: Guys: ::Look at each other and all nod. They pull out their credit cards.:: Mark: I'll make the call. ::Runs to the phone. The others follow.:: Mark: ::Dials the phone.:: Operator: This is Nicole. May I help you? Mark: Who is this? Operator: ::Frustrated.:: I said my name was Nicole. Mark: I want to place an order for the Sit on Your Ass Ab Machine, please? Nicole: May I have your zip code, please? Mark: Uuuuuum. Space... Nicole: Excuse me? Mark: Space... The Anime Dimension... the spaceship Winner Queen. Nicole: Oooookaayyy. Quatre: WINNER EXTRORDANAIRE! And while you're on the phone, order me one as well! Mark: Get your own! We're using our credit cards! Quatre: Let me have the phone after you're done then! I have mine right here. Mark: ::Continuing.:: Anyways, let me carry on. ::Nicole takes down the vital stuff like the credit card number name, etc. ::You think the call would be done. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!:: Mark; So we're through, right? Nicole: Not so fast. I have to tell you about this extra shit you won't need. Mark: Okay. Nicole: Today you can buy this gel that is not included and is required to operate your ab machine for $999.99 a bottle and if you buy it now you get a whole bunch more extra steaming dog shit with your order. Mark: Wow. I'll take it. Nicole: Great! To thank you we're sending you a risk-free 30 day membership to some no-name leech company that will automatically bill your credit card. And I'm reading the scripting that sounds like you MUST get this to purchase your product. OK? Mark: WHAT!?!?!?! WHAAAAAAAAAT?!!??!?! NOOOOO!!!!!! I DON'T WANT THAT!!!!! DO I HAVE TO BUY THAT!?!?!?!?! IF NOT THEN CANCEL MY ORDER!!!!! JAEHFOUIHEFLIUEWAHIFUW!!!!! ::All the men in the room get fried with Thunder magic.:: Guys (except Mark): Ooooooooow, fuck! Nicole: And also to thank you we're giving you $25 in gas rebates along with a risk-free membership in.. Mark: No... Nicole: I understand, but... Mark: Nop, nope...NOPE! Nicole: Okay. The order will arrive in 4 to 6 weeks. Thank you for calling. Mark: I have friends that would like to order it. Nicole: ::Thinking to self.:: If I get another ab machine call I'm gonna freak... ::Wow. the MSTers go 4 to 6 weeks without watching the fic while waiting on their order.:: Tim: Where are our ab machines? They were supposed to arrive about now. ::One package with the name of Tim Turner arrives at a WARM place.:: Satan: What the fuck is this thing? ::Opens box.:: Who's Tim Turner? That's right. The bleach guy. He should be arriving sometime. Ah. A Sit on Your Ass Ab Machine. I gotta look good for the minions. Mark: I haven't gotten mine yet. ::A package addressed to Mark Rothlisberger arrives at a small house in the mountains.:: Woman: What is that? ::Goes outside to the package and sees the name.:: Aaaaaaah, Mark. The love of my life. ::A man with one leg and crutches hobbles outside.:: Man: Aina! What's that you got there?! Aina: Nothing, Shiro! I'll have the UPS man send it back. ::Thinking to self.:: It'll be sent under my bed where you can't get to it. I hope the crazy, smelly, rotty-tooth, beady-eyed old hermit that lives in the cave kills Shiro in his sleep. Gene: Come to think of it I wonder where mine is? ::A package addressed to Gene Starwind arrives at a bar on Tenrei. Ark: Fuck. I still have 10,000 woolongs worth of damages to pay off because of Gene Starwind. ::Knock at the door.:: Ark: One moment. ::Answers door.:: UPS man: Package for you... Ark: ::Sees name.:: Okay... thanks... UPS man: Wait. Are you Gene Starwind? Ark: Uuuum, yes. Thank you. I'll sign for it. Hadul: Is that my hentai? Ark: ::Screaming and slobbering.:: NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP OLD FART! Hadul: Okay. Ark: I think I'll hold Gene's ab machine for ransom. ::Sees invoice with credit card number on it.:: Ark: >) I'm a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad boy. Spike: What happened to mine, dammit? ::A package addressed to Spike Spiegel ends to in Rio de Janiero, South America.:: ::Knock at the door of some secluded place.:: Kid's voice: Wait, waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! ::Dog barking.:: Kid's voice: No, Ein! Be quiet! Ed's going to answer the door! ::Ed (the kid always referring to herself in the third person, if you don't know anything about Cowboy Bebop) answers the door.:: Ed: Yes, yeeeeeeeeeeeees? UPS man: Package for Spike Spiegel. Ed: O.O ::Bites the package.:: UPS man: Whoa! Decrease your sugar intake! Is Spike Spiegel here or not? Ed: Ed's here. Ein's here. No Spike and no FayeFaye... UPS man: O.o;; OOOOOOOOOOOKAY. Then I'll be going. Ed: ::GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOWWWWLLLLL!!!!!:: UPS man: You don't take Red-Eye, do you? Dear Lord please don't hurt me!!! Ed: Edward loves piyokos. UPS man: YIKES!!! Just take the damn package! ::Runs away:: Ed: ::Takes out ab gel and tries to eat some.:: This Jello tastes horrible, Ein. ::Takes out ab belt.:: Look, Ein, a dog saddle! ::Puts it on a reluctant Ein and hits the "on" switch.:: Ein: ::Shaking as the ab belt sends electrical shocks to him.:: Bark, bark! Ed: You're funny, Ein! (Author's note: No dogs were harmed in the making of this MST nor is this based on a real-life incident, except for the horrible tale of a TV order getting fucked up with one of our friends.) ::A package addressed to Heero Yui arrives at Relena's mansion.:: ::Pagan gets the door.:: Pagan: Oh, a package for Miss Relena's boyfriend. ::Opens it.:: ::Sweatdrop.:: Oh, dear. I didn't know he was into this sort of stuff. (And we leave it at that ;) ). ::A package addressed to Quatre Raberbra Winner arrives at a Quatre fan's house.:: Quatre fan: Oh, joyous joy! I can add this to my Quatre toys, webshrine, web ring, Quatre pics, Quatre shirts, Quatre bedsheets, Quatre cereal, Quatre toospaste and other Quatre stuff! Mark: I'm dialing customer service. ::Calls up the order line.:: Operator: This is Alex. May I help you? Mark: Im calling about the status of my order with several Sit on Your Ass Ab Belts. Alex: You'll need to call the customer service number at 1-800-TV-SUCKS. Mark: Okay. ::Hangs up and dials customer service number. Puts it on speaker phone:: Answering recording: Hello. And welcome to the ripoff TV product customer service line. If you got suckered into buying something by the cheesy actors and announcer press 1. If you haven't recieved your product in an unreal amount of time press 2. If you want to check the status of your order press 3. Mark: ::Still listening.:: Anwering recording: If you would like to hear more of the cheesy announcer guy and actors, press 4. If you would like fresh baked cookies press 5. If you want to hear naughty noises press 6. Mark: ::Pushes 3.:: Gene: Why didn't you press 6?!!?!? Mark: Do you want your shit or not? Gene: Okay, okay... Recording: Please dial 1-800-END-LESS ext. LOOPS to get another order line and then repeat the whole process. Please note you will have a snowball's chance in hell of getting your procuct. Mark: I guess I'll never order off TV again... Other guys: Me neither. Rally: Told ya... TV: Are you tired of those poor abs of yours? Tim: ::Shaking with rage.:: ::Punches the TV.:: Mark: JNFEOHNFOIHDFNOIUSADHNFOIUAH!!!!! ::Casts Flare on TV..:: TV: Then wait no more! Here's the solutiuon for you! This product is called "Sit on Your Ass AB MACHINE!" Heero and Spike: ::Unload a couple of clips on the TV:: TV: If you have money and you think looks are the only thing needed to attract good-looking people then this is the thing for you! Quatre: Not the TV! Oh, well. I got ripped off, too. ::Sends Rashid to stab the TV.:: TV: In the name of all that is holy, no more hurt! Gene: Now for the finale! EAT THIS! ::Shoots a caster shell and destroys the TV.:: Quatre: Thanks, Gene I'll get a new TV. But that spoke for us all. Gene: No problem. And no mercy. Quatre: In times when I fell like I'm ripped off I send MSTers back into the theater to watch a cheesy fanfic. ::Bad fanfic alert goes up.:: Tim: Bad fanfic alert! Rally: And the moral of this skit is: DON'T BUY SHIT OFF TV!!! Tim: Bad fanfic alert, Rally! Rally: Right! ::The MSTers run into the theater.::: 7...6...5...4...3...2...1... ______________________________________________________ ::The MSTers sit down.:: >ROUND 5. Ayeka Jurai vs. Ukyo Kuonji. Gene: Bitch vs. bitch. >The setting for this fight is at a tennis court, with the spectators seated >in the bleachers. The two combatants are at opposite ends of the court, >readying for combat. The net is removed, and the referee walks to the >center of the court, to tell the two combatants to also go to the center of >the court. Mark: NO HE DOESN'T! > "GRUMPMUFFMUFFGAGLLEGALLYWHOOMUPH!!!" *KA-WHUBBA!!!* Rally: What the hell was that? >Ayeka and Ukyo walk to the center of the court, and nervously inspect the 6 >X 4 X 3.5 Buddha statue that crushed the referee. Mark: 'BOUT DAMN TIME! > "MOM! Why the hell did you do that for?!" said a woman in the audience, >who had very spiky, cyan colored hair. Tim: ::sarcastically.:: Gee, who's that supposed to be? > "Because that joke was getting really old, Ryoko dear." Replies a much >shorter woman, with even more spiky, crab-red hair. Relena: I agree with Mark and Washu. It was about time someone thought that joke was getting too old. Tim: Since when does Ryoko call Washu 'mom'? >Washu types on her keyboard a bit, and a large portal opens up under the >statue/crushed referee, thus removing the obstruction from the court. Quatre: THAT WASHU BITCH IS USING MY INVENTION AGAIN!!! >Ukyo and Ayeka both shrug, and the fight commences. >Suddenly; Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's that >tomboy from the Ranma ½! Akane falls from the air, with the greatest of >ease, and lands on Ayeka. Spike: What the fuck was that all about? >"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *WHAM*!!!" All: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! >Akane's impact sent her and the Jurian princess to the bottom of a human >shaped crater. Gene: Now THAT had to hurt. > "Hey, I got good hang time with her." said Ryoko, from the bleachers. Tim: So this is a basketball game now? >Suddenly, two large floating logs, one marked with a blue marking, the other >marked with a similar red marking, appear next to the crater. Spike: Why doesn't Ayeka keep USEFUL guardians around? >"Oh my god! She killed Ayeka!!!" exclaims the blue marked one. >"You bastard!!!" exclaims the red marked one. All: O_O?! Mark: Okay... South Park... hahaha..ha? >Akane pulls herself out from the hole she just made, and glares at >Azaka and Kamidake. "What . . . did . . . you . . . call . . . ME!?!?!" Relena: They said...::pulls a megaphone out of nowhere:: OH MY GOD! SHE KILLED AYEKA!!! Rally: ::takes the megaphone:: YOU BASTARD!!! Mark: ::holding his ears:: Damn you two. Don't you know how to turn those down? > "Uh-oh." Say both guardians at the same time, gaining large sweatdrops on >the back of their heads. Akane pulls out a bright, shiny, brass mallet, and >chases after the two flying logs, intent on showing them how her new mallet >can violently force large pieces of wood straight into the ground. Gene: Man...they really get it bad in this fic don't they? Mark: So there are different kinds of mallets? I should take notes. Spike: Remember MGP Noboyuki? The other guys: AUGH!!! DON'T EVER MENTION THAT FIC AGAIN!!!! >"THE WINNER; UKYO!!!" Announces the announcer. >Ryoko teleports over to the crater, and looked down the hole. "Yo, >princess. You okay?" Tim: Ryoko concerned for Ayeka? Never thought I'd see the day. > A faint voice can be heard from the hole. "Miss Ryoko, I presently have >soil in my ears. Could you please lean a bit further toward me, so I could >understand you?" Spike: I can see where this is going. > Ryoko leans more toward the hole. "I said; Yo, princess. You o-GACK!!!" Gene: Gee. And it was a friendly gesture, too. >Ayeka is now currently gripping Ryoko's neck, and shaking the former pirate's head >like a rattle. After a minute of this, Ayeka attempts to crack Ryoko's head open, >to get at the nutty filling. Mark: Now that's the stuff...Hostess. >Ukyo is paying no attention to this whatsoever, as she just realized that >she had to now thank Akane for helping her to win. Tim: @_@....hot lesbo sex time!!! Rally: ::Mallets Tim:: Shut up hentai!!! >WINNER: Ukyo. >ROUND 6. Shampoo (Cat form) vs. Ryo-oh-ki (Cabbit form) Rally: This ought to be good. >The two combatants face each other, trying to make each other angry. >"Nyao!! Meroow!! Hisss!!" said Shampoo. >"Miyaaa!!! Merouyaaa!!!" replies Ryo-oh-ki. Relena: What did they say? Mark: I know. They said (censored for a long amount of sentences). Relena: That bad, huh? > We'd translate what they were saying, but there may be younger viewers >watching, uh reading this. Mark: See? Told you. >The signal to start the fight is about to start, but suddenly a cry rings >through the air. Spike: Allright...finally a dencent fight. Mark: With no spellcasters but me. >"POKEBALL GO!!!" All: O_o? >A red and white ball rebounds off of Shampoo, and sucks her up into the >ball. Tim: DAMMIT! WHY DID SUZUKI HAVE TO BRING THAT INTO THIS? >"Who would've thought that we would find pokemon around here?" said a >young boy, with a red baseball cap. Next to the boy is a large yellow mouse >with a lightning bolt shaped tail, a young girl with her red hair tied into >a ponytail on one side of her head, and a slightly older young man who's >eyes are abnormally squinted. Mark: -_- Couldn't he just say their names and get it over with? >"I don't think I've seen a cat pokemon like that, Ash." Says the girl. Gene: That's because...::takes the megaphone:: SHE'S NOT A POKE'MON!!! >Suddenly, Shampoo breaks out of the Pokeball, and glares angrily at the >three people who tried to capture her in that ball. Spike: ::To Ash, Misty, and Brock:: Running would be a good idea right about now. >Where did these people come from, anyway? Relena: From the hellhole that is the Poke'Mon universe. ::Everyone else looks strangly at Relena:: Relena: Hey I'm entitled to be rude every now and then. >This was the third time today that someone tried to capture her in one of >those balls. Well, she would show these three not to mess with her. Mark: Woe unto those three. Gene: Hehe... I guess Ash was tired of Misty and was trying to catch Shampoo for himself. >Ash, Misty, Pikachu, and Brock ran for their lives, from the rage driven >cat that was trying to reduce them to scratching posts. Neither rain, nor >sleet, nor electric mouse pokemon would keep Shampoo from extracting her >revenge. Spike: And the Poke'Mon empire comes to an end. Rally: 'Bout damn time... >Ryo-oh-ki got a large sweatdrop on the back of her head, as she watched >what happened. Suddenly, a net dropped over her, and she was quickly >strung into the air. Gene: If this is who I think it is...I'm gonna scream. >"BAH, amateurs!" Said a handsome young man, with dark blue hair, who was >also holding the net. Rally: I think it is Gene. Gene: ::Spitting at screen.:: Mother fucker... >"To think that those meddling kids would take the chance of loosing a new >cat type pokemon, by capturing it in a regular Pokeball." Said a tall, >beautiful, red hared young woman. "WE, on the other hand, take no chances >of loosing it." Mark: It's gotta be...Team Rocket. Gene: AAAHHGGRRAHHH!!!! >"That, and you's guys are too poor to even afford a regular Pokeball." >Comments a odd looking, talking cat, with a gold coin attached to its >forehead. Tim; Why the fuck can't he say the names? >"Shut up, Meowth." Said the man and woman. >"Make me." said Meowth. Spike: Can't a meteor just fall and kill all of them? >Well, they did not notice, but Ryo-oh-ki was as mad as hell, and she was >not going to take it anymore. Taking a cue from 'Tenchi In Tokyo' (Shin >Tenchi Muyo), Ryo-oh-ki transformed into >ROBO-OH-KI!!!!!!! Mark: ...the hell? Rally: Since when did this become Digimon? >She easily broke out of the net, when she changed from a simple cabbit, >into a large, pink, robot warrior. Team Rocket watches in horror as >ROBO-OH-KI!!!!!!! cracks her knuckles ominously, and with a roaring battle >cry of "MIYA!!!", goes into action. ::All the MSTers have large sweat drops on their heads:: >*CRASH* *WHAM* *BAM* *BODYSLAM* *RANDOM* *NOISE* *OF* *ROBO-OH-KI* >*GETTING* *MIDEVIL* *ON* *TEAM* *ROCKET'S* *BOOTOX* *BOOOOOOOM* ::Once again sweatdrops...and a facefault:: >"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAaaaaaaain . . . ." >WINNER: To be continued. Spike: NO... >ROUND 7. Cologne vs. Katsuhito (Yosho) Masaki. Tim: They're going to need walkers to fight this one. >We arrive in the dark arena where the battle is already in progress. The >fight had already gone on for many hours, and there was seemingly no end in >sight. It was an intense struggle to see who was the fastest, the strongest, >the cleverest, and the best at the art of combat. Mark: TaeKwon-Do? Tim: Kempo? Rally: Guns? Spike: Jeet Kune Do? Gene: Dueling? Relena: Mobile Suits? >"Got any twos?" asked Cologne. >"Go fish." Said Katsuhito. All: O_O?! ::Facefault:: >Yes everybody, this is the most intense battle we have seen so far. Rally: THAT'S debatable. >Who will come out the victor? Tim: Probably the opponent of the one who's pacemaker shorts out first. >How will there be any conclusion to this battle? Spike: When one of their Depends underwear fails. Others: UGH!!! >WHAT will be the conclusion of this battle? Relena: Didn't he just ask that already? >What will happen if there is a tie? Mark: We'd probably hang ourselves. >Will they bring a foreign object into the ring? Gene: Who cares? >Neil, did you eat your chunky soup? Rally: Ok...I'll bite. Who the hell is Neil? >Who wrote the book of love? Tim: I DID! Everyone else: SHUT UP TIM!!! >Why the hell am I writing this? Relena: We've been wondering that as well. >Who removed the fourth wall? Spike: Huh? >What is the meaning of life? Mark: It's a bitch and you die? Gene: To get laid as many times as possible? >And the most important question of all Rally: Is it possible to sneeze with your eyes open? >"Got any threes?" >Will Cologne have any threes?!?!? Gene: Enough with the suspense already! >"Sure, here." The withered prune on a-uh, I mean the leader of the Chinese >Amazon tribe, obviously did not realize that she had just literally thrown >the battle away. Mark: What battle? >Katsuhito added the card to the one he had in his hand, and slammed them >down on the table. Tim: ::Sarcastically:: Yay. He won. >"WINNER, MASAKI!!!" announced the announcer over the loud speaker. >In a calm and mature manner, Katsuhito stood up, and started doing a >victory dance. All the while saying "Nyah-Nyah!! I win!! You loose!! >Ha-Ha!!" Rally: I hate it when they rub it in like that. >Cologne shrugs, puts down the rest of her cards, and jumps into Katsuhito's >arms, saying "AIREN!! WU AI NE!!" >Katsuhito's scream was the scream heard around the world. Relena: That's a long way to carry a voice. >WINNER: Katsuhito (technically) >ROUND 8. Hikaru Gosunkugi vs. Kain. Tim: I know Kain's going to win this one. Mark: Same here. Rally: I'll put MY money on it. Relena: Who is Kain? Mark: Wathch Tenchi Muyo! In Love, and you'll see. >In this corner, weighing at roughly two thousand gallons, considering that >he is technically an aqueous life form, and standing at seven feet, two >inches tall, the A-1 class criminal, Kain!!! All: YEAH! WOO-HOO!!! >And in this corner, weighing at ninety seven pounds, one ounce, at the >height of a little over four and a half feet, standing in a puddle of his >own piss, with a snot bubble in his nose, and tears streaming down his face, >the challenger, Hikaru Gosunkugi!!! Relena: I feel sorry for him. Tim: I know...Hikaru had it bad. Relena: I was talking about Kain. He needs a makeover so it won't make him look so scary. Put some pink bows in his head and it would be a major improvement. Spike: Um. Relena? Usually we say this to Tim, but looks like we need to make an exception...guys? Everyone except Relena: LAY OFF THE BLEACH RELENA!!! >WINNER: Kain. Mark: Naturally. >ROUND 9. Shampoo vs. Ryo-oh-ki, again. Spike: Here we go again. >We are back in the previous battle area between the two combatants. >Shampoo wipes the last few bits of Ash from her claws, and readies for the >attack. Ryo-oh-ki changes back to cabbit form, and does likewise. Gene: That didn't make sense to me. She has already changed, and DOES so likewise? >They are about to attack, when a loud noise was heard. Tim: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!! Mark: That was appetizing... >The noise of two people crashing through a brick wall. >"OOOH!!! SO CUTE!!!" Gene: AHGH!!! They're still here? >Ryo-oh-ki and Shampoo both stare in horror for a few moments, and then >scramble away as fast as they can. Rally: They both made the critical mistake of standing there while the horror drew closer. >They are quickly followed by a woman with dark blue hair, and a brown >hared girl in a pink dress. Spike: Brown hared? It's nice to know she has a brown rabbit but what about the color of her hair? >"Josephine!! Josephine!!" Tim: ...the hell? >"Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty!!!" >"NYOOOW!!!!!" >"MIYAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" All: O_o? Huh? >WINNER: Misaki and Azusa. >ROUND 10. Kiyone Makabe vs. Happosai. >"HELP!!! HELP!!! GET IT OFF OF ME!!! GET IT OFF OF ME!!! HELP!!!" >WINNER: Happosai. >Mark: I kind of expected that. >ROUND 11. Washu Habuki vs. Ranma Saotome. >"HELP!!! HELP!!! GET IT OFF OF ME!!! GET IT OFF OF ME!!! HELP!!!" >WINNER: Washu. Mark: I kind of expected that too. >ROUND 12. Soun Tendo & Genma Saotome vs. Azaka & Kamidake. >The battle arena is pretty much empty. Only the two teams of combatants >are at the center. Azaka and Kamidake look worse for wear, many mallet >dents still in their surfaces. Spike: That's what they get for insulting Akane. >Soun and Genma actually look thoughtful. Tim: ...as always. >"You know, Tendo. I've been thinking." >"Oh, then please by all means continue, Saotome." Mark: They kind of remind me of the little gophers from Looney Tunes. The ones that are really polite to each other. >"Remember when the master used to have us train by forcing us to make >firewood, by smashing tree stumps into smaller pieces?" Rally: Sucks to be Azaka and Kamidake, doesn't it? >Azaka and Kamidake get large sweatdrops on the backs of their upper >portions. They do not like where this conversation is going. Relena: My guess is yes. >"Ah, yes. We must've gone through hundreds of trees, before the master >would let us finally warm ourselves by the fire." Gene: So THAT'S what happended to the rain forest. >"So, I was wondering. If we did all of that, and we are even more stronger >than we were back then, then why should this be a hard battle for us?" >"Good point, Saotome." >"Uh-oh." Say both Azaka and Kamidake, at the same time. Mark: Man they have the raw end of the deal with this fic. >"GET EM!!!" Soun and Genma both try to strike at the rapidly retreating >guardians. Gene: This'll be good. >" 'This'll be easy'; you said! 'They can't possibly be as bad as that girl >with the hammer' you said!" Tim: Those bad choices you make in life come back to bite you in the ass. > "Just hush up, and keep running!!!" The two logs were chased right out of >the arena. >WINNER: Soun and Genma. >ROUND 13. Washu Habuki vs. Happosai. Rally: Uh-oh...we should have known this was gonna happen. >The scene for this fight is in Washu's lab. Washu is standing behind a >desk, with Happosai strapped to a metal table in the background. Tim: I don't like where this is going... >"Good evening." Says Washu. "For those of you just joining us, our >previously scheduled experiment of examining the anatomy of a toad, has been >canceled for . . ." Tim: NO! >"WOO HOO!!! EXAMENE ME BABY!!! Take my temperature! Take a sperm sample! >I needed a checkup, cutie pie!" yells Happosai from the background. All: ::Try to keep their lunches down.:: Tim: Nooooooooo... ::Chugs on more bleach.:: Mark: Ick... I'm going to get a glass of water to get rid of that aftertaste left from the small amount of puke that managed to get to the top of my esophagus. Rally: Me, him, my guns, and ten seconds... That's all I ask... >Washu turns several shades of green, that clash with the color of her hair, >and tries to continue. " . . . obvious reasons, and will not be done ever >again if I can help it." All: Thank you... >Happosai gives a disappointed groan from the background. "So instead, I >shall be doing a cooking lesson today." Washu puts on a chef's hat. Tim: ::Zoned out and drooling.:: I have a bleach problemmmmmmmmm!!!! >"Ooo! I bet I'm the main course, yeah baby?" says Happosai. Spike: ::Lights a cigarette to calm his nerves.:: Mark: You need some of those 'shrooms, Spike. Spike: You don't happen to have some do you? Mark: No. A frog ate them... >Washu tries desperately to keep her smile. "Today, we shall be learning to >make 'Chard Pervert Flambe'. First, take one pervert." Men: HEY! >"I'm not ONE pervert! I am THE pervert, sweet-cheeks!" Gene: Wanna bet? >"And dump him into your incendiary furnace." Washu pulls a lever, sending >Happosai down a hole. Tim: Going to hell? Have a nice eternity! >"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaah!!!" *FOOOOOOOM!!!* A large gout of flame from the >hole, signals the end of the pervert. >"That concludes the lesson for today. Tomorrow we'll-" >"Hey!!! You tried to kill me!!! I've fallen!!! And I'm badly burned!!!" Mark: The smell of burning pervert flesh isn't exactly what I would call a great aroma. >Okay, so that was not the end of him. *THUD!!!* That was. Rally: A sniper with a silencer finally shut him up. >"Ahem. Tomorrow we'll go through the importance of a portable dimensional >portal system, as well as the advantages of having large stone statues >around your lab." Quatre: THAT WASHU BITCH STEALS AGAIN!!!!!!! >WINNER: Washu. >ROUND 14. Tatewaki Kuno vs. Ryo-oh-ki. Spike: Don't get me wrong, guys, but didn't Misaki and Azusa just crush Ryo-Ohki to death? >This battle takes place in a grand arena. Although the stands were packed, >they were now somewhat empty, as members of the audience started leaving for >some reason. Spike: They got tired of the fic maybe? >Kuno and Ryo-oh-ki, both in humanoid form, were at the center of the arena. >Kuno was still making his beginning speech, and going on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on . . . Tim: As the MSTers rotted... Gene: So THAT'S why they left. >"No one shall stand in the way of my might, for I am the spirit of the >warriors past, the ultimate of the times, the best of the best of the best. Rally: Good for you. MArk: Just start the damn fight and prove it. >I am he who shall smite all darkness from this world. I blah blah blah, big >word, blah blah, really big word, blah blah blah, yakity smackity, blah >(NOTE: Rather than subject you all to the rest of this speech, I'll just >skip to the end. Is that okay with all of you?) All: ::To the projection booth:: Quatre? Quatre: Go ahead and sleep for this one. All: Thanks. ::Do so:: >THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH!!!!" *KRACK-KA-BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!* >The sound of the lightning scares Ryo-oh-ki awake, and unintentionally set >off her personal defense system. A laser beam shoots from the jewel on her >forehead, reducing the Blue Thunder, into a pile of Black Soot. >*BEYOOOOOOOU* *ding* And he is done. >Various members of the Ranma ½ cast, and the Tenchi Muyo cast rush to the >scene. >"OH MY GOD!!! SHE KILLED KUNO!!!" screams Nabiki. >"HOW CAN WE EVER REPAY YOU!?!?!" says Akane, to Ryo-oh-ki. >Ryo-oh-ki pulls a wooden sign out of nowhere. [Carrots! Lots and lots of >carrots!] >Meanwhile, Ranma is talking to Tenchi. >"Look, I didn't realize you were so sensitive about that sort of thing." >Says Ranma. >"Okay, just don't do that again." Says Tenchi. "My doctor says that I'm >suffering from too much blood loss as it is. Hey, want a pork-chop?" >"Hey, thanks. Where'd you get em?" >"Oh, Mihoshi said she found them somewhere." >"Lucky girl." says Ranma. "She finds free food just lying around, and I >can't hide the lunch Akane made for me, to save my life." >"OH, SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HID THE LUNCH I MADE FOR YOU!!!!" says Akane. >"Uh-oh." Would be the last thing Ranma would say for awhile. All: ::Wake up.:: Mark: Did anyone's subconscious pick that up while they slept? Tim: I think everyone was happy that lighting set off Ryo-Ohki's car alarm and it killed someone. Everyone was happy and they had the joyest of times! And Ranma is about to get his ass whooped by Akane. Spike: So we didn't miss anything... Mark: Right. > *WHAMMO!!!* Gene: Tim's mind is amazing when not affected by bleach. >"Honestly, he can be such a jerk, sometimes." Grumbles Akane. >"Uh, want a pork-chop?" says Tenchi, a large sweatdrop on the back of his >head. Rally: Is Tenchi making a move? I thought he didn't have it in him. >"Thanks." Says Akane. As she eats the pork-chop, it reminds her of >something she was wondering earlier. Spike: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a tootsie pop? Tim: Why is the sky blue? Mark: What will the Fruit Roll-Up kids roll out with next? >"Oh, by the way. Have you seen my pet pig anywhere? Small, black, wares >a yellow bandanna, answers to the name of P-Chan?" >"No, can't say that I have." Replies Tenchi, before taking a bite out of >the pork-chop. Gene: (as Tenchi) A bit crispy but with a little beer it'll be great. >End. All: YAY!!!! >AUTHOR'S NOTES: >Actually I was inspired to write this when I read about another short Fan >Fic about a battle between Tenchi and Ranma. In that one, Tenchi won the >battle when Ryoko knocked Ranma out by hitting him on the head with a >foreign object (Mayuka) . . . I guess that would mean sometimes stupid >stories are inspired by other stories. > Okay, I admit that I'm feeling sorry about that last MST that I recently >did. Just because some of the jokes are similar, in other MSTs, I got a >complaint. Well, that got me considering the fact that I really had no >stories of my own that were MSTd. Because of this, I'm actually publishing >this short Fic, with this notice. >NOTICE: I decree that this Fic is probably the stupidest, dumbest, and >most off beat Fic that I have ever allowed to be posted. Someone, ANYONE, >please MST this thing. Spencer, Shade, Brian, the guy who said bad things >about "A Secret Confession", MST THIS DARN FIC!!! Team Rocket makes an >unscheduled guest appearance!! That's got to be worth a joke or two!!! >Wait! Where are you going!? Don't leave!!! I'm serious! I'd MST it >myself, but my group would kill me in the first act, and besides I want to >see some one else do it!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!! >And there you have it. This will be up for grabs, to all who wish to try >their hand at MSTing it. Have fun. ^_^ >Peter Suzuki. Rally: Anyone know what that was about? Others: No... 7...6...5...4...3...2...1 ______________________________________________________________________________ ::in the livnig area at the door of the workshop:: Relena: I'm going to go check on Heero. Others: *gulp and sweatdrop* Alright.. have fun! ::Relena enters the closed off hanger where Heero has been working the entire time:: Gene: Damn Heero is lucky... ::Melfina smacks him gently and pouts:: Do you really mean it Gene? Gene: No no I mean....oops Melfina: That's what I thought. Well enjoy your right hand for a while. ::she storms off:: Gene: Damn... Aisha: ::She glomps tim:: Meow! Thanks for teaching me the bleach trick Timmy! Rally: ::Left eyebrow starts to twitch:: What did you call my Bleachykins? ::she glomps Tim's other arm:: Aisha: ::right eyebrow twitchs as well as a low growl emits from her throat:: He's mine! ::tugs on Tim's arm:: ::Rally tugs back:: He's mine! ::Tim's glasses get the swirly-eyed routine:: Spike, Gene, Mark: WAHOO! Catfight! ::Suzuka comes from behind and whaps both of the girls on the back of the head with her bokken:: Suzuka: Those brats! Sorry about their behavior Tim... ::Tim collaspes to the ground his glasses still swirled up:: ORoorrooorrroooo......... ::Meanwhile Quatre is trying to fix the Ultra-Anime Character Dimension Extractor:: Quatre: Damn Rashid why can't we fix it?! Rashid: Sorry Master Quatre ::The referee walks in and take one look at the machine:: Ref: "GRUMPMUFFMUFFGAGLLEGALLYWHOOMUPH!!!" ::The Extractor sparks fizzles and then collaspes into tons of little bitty parts:: ::Mark walks in and sees the mess:: Mark: Let me show you how it is done novice AJSDFHKLAWHKDNMBFUJHSE!!! ::The Extractor lets out a whirling sound as it instantly fixes itself:: Mark: ::to the Ref:: And as for you...(ala Black Mage from 8-Bit Theatre) Bolt 2 Muther Fugga!!! ::The Ref is hit with a huge blast of lighting and after the brilliant flash of light the body sits there smoking, charred completely black:: Mark: Quatre I am the only one allowed to cast magic on this ship. You got that? :: Quatre just nods dumbly in shock as Mark walks out of the room:: Mark: ::turns head around:: And if you ever try to show us a Sasami lemon again, you'll get a Bolt Fucking 1,000,000. ::Quatre and Rasheed get a sweatdrop and facefault:: Quatre: ::snaps back to himself:: RASHID!!! You idiot! That fool can fix it but not you?! Rashid: ::dumbfounded:: Sorry Master Quatre! ::as Quatre continues on his power trip the ref's body spasms a little bit:: ::back at the entrance machine room:: Spike: Just what the hell is he building in there... Mark: A new version of the Zero system? Gene: A more powerful Caster Gun? Rally: Mustang assortments? Tim: An automatic lint assorter? All: LAY OFF THE BLEACH TIM!!! Spike: The other MSTer remains silent... Tim: Let's send them a message... ::And does so.:: Quatre: ::to readers in a nice-like voice:: See you next time. ::Continues the power trip:: Authors' Note: If you have any guesses as to what Heero is building (cause to tell you the truth...we don't have a clue in hell), drop us a line with a weird guess and we'll use them on the next episode. Also we apologize for the recent hiatus. I (Mark) work full time, Paul goes to school full time, and Bleach Boy (Tim) does both. And it took us awhile to figure out how we can work on it and still have time for everything else.