Adventures in MSTing #7 An MST of DBZ Muyo by Timothy Turner and Mark Rothlisberger To e-mail Tim, mail to juraijin@aol.com. To e-mail Mark, mail to JediMax7@aol.com ____________________________________________________________ Tenchi characters copyright AIC/Pioneer. MST3k copyright Best Brains, Inc. Gundam Wing, Outlaw Star, Cowboy Bebop and Gundam: 08th MS Team and their characters are copyright Sunrise / TV Asahi. Anything else copyrighted is credited to the original creators (so we won't have great fines we can't afford for copyright violations OR flames by the authors of the fics we're MSTing). All fics are MSTed with permission. Oh, yes, if any events in this MST were similar to real life, real life would be REALLY FUCKED UP! This is entirely a work of fiction. Any other ideas taken from anything at all are the ideas of their original authors, writers, etc. ____________________________________________________________ On with the show... ____________________________________________________________ The crew for the Winner Queen are: Timothy Turner: "Can I have some bleach with my cereal?" Mark Rothlisberger: "No more lines please." Gene Starwind: "I am the ice-shooting champion!" Spike Spiegel: "Anyone up for some bell peppers and beef?" Mark, Tim, and Gene: "NO!" With special guest: Aina Sahalin: "I still don't have any idea what I'm doing here." ____________________________________________________________ Voyages of the Winner Queen Theme sung to the MST3K theme of later seasons such as Season 10 original theme. Original theme copyrighted Best Brains, Inc. Some original lyrics have been incorporated and are not ours. Some lyrics are small modifications of the original lyrics and are not ours. We do not own the theme song and are not making money off these MSTS. REPEAT: WE DO NOT OWN THIS THEME SONG! WE ARE NOT MAKING MONEY OFF THESE MSTS! WE ARE HOPELESSY OBSESSED WITH MST3K AND ARE DOING THIS TO FUFILL OUR PATHETIC LIVES! SO THERE! ____________________________________________________________ (chourus sings) In the anime dimension, Somewhere in outer space. A group of losers who said too much Are stuck at Quatre's place. Mr. Winnner has made himself a pledge, After he was pushed beyond the edge. The Gundam pilot laughs in glee And carries out his plan of insanity!!! (Quatre: I'll break you!!!) Quatre: (singing) I'll send them cheesy fanfics The worst I can find! (Quatre's minions singing) La-la-la! They'll have to sit and watch them all, 'cause I'm the kind of guy that's unkind! (Quatre's minions singing) La-la-la! (chorus sings) They'll travel around the galaxy And see all kinds of peeps (la-la-la!) They'll fight to keep their sanity, and this time it's for keeps! LOSER ROLL-CALL!: TIM! Tim: It's mayhem time! SPIKE! Spike: Let's jam! MARK! Mark: Let's get this show on the road! GEEEEEEEENE! Gene: Let's goooooooo! (chorus sings) If you're wondering how you can watch Something you can read, (Quatre's minions singing) La-la-la! Just remember you can use you're mind So let it take the lead, for Voyages of the Winner Queen! 1...2...3...4...5...6...7... _________________________________________________________ ::In the living area, Gene is working on yet another escape plan, Mark is showing Aina around the ship, Spike is just chilling, and Tim is STILL trying to ask Aisha out on a date.:: Gene: I GOT IT!!! If we take the Grappler Arms on the Outlaw Star and bust a hole into the bulkhead, we can sub-ether back to Earth in no time. Spike: I suppose...but remember, Quatre put a self-destruct device on the Outlaw Star programmed to go off if we try to escape. Gene: Oh yeah...I forgot about that. ::Tim comes in...toatally mangled:: Tim: (gibberishly) TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR...(falls unconscious) ::Mark and Aina walk in:: Mark: (sees Tim on the floor) Tried to sneak a peek at Aisha again, huh? Gene: Yep. Aina: Does stuff like this happen often? Mark: You get used to it. Spike: Or suffer a mental breakdown... Gene: Tim's been like that ever since this whole MST bit started. Aina: How long does he stay like that? Spike: He'll snap out of it later. Aina: You know it's strange...Shiro acts the same way whenever I talk about that Kiki girl...what do you think that means? Mark: Uh...I'm...not sure. ::Quatre appears on the big screen:: Quatre: Greetings, my victims of mental torture. We won't be doing the piece I had picked out earlier because I want to take it easy on our new recruit. Gene: HEY! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE HERE! THE FIRST FIC THAT I DID WAS THAT 'DIRTY COPS' PIECE OF CRAP! Spike: AND 'TSUNAMI TAKES OVER'?! GIVE ME A BREAK! SINCE WHEN DOES SHE GET SPECIAL TREATMENT?! Quatre: Are you two part of a Gundam series? Spike and Gene: No. Quatre: THEN SHUT UP!!!! Spike: But we're all from Sunrise! Quatre: I don't care! Spike: I'm telling Hajime Yadate on you! Quatre: Who cares? Gene: Just wait until I get some Caster shells. Quatre: I heard that!!! Anyway, this is a crossover fic called DBZ Muyo. NOW GET IN THERE!!!! 7...6...5...4...3...2...1... _______________________________________________________________ >DBZ Muyo Mark: Wait a sec. Where is this going? This isn't going to be Nobuyuki's Secret is it? Gene: Not that fic. When I saw that one I thought I was watching freaks of nature. Spike: I'll never get us into a situation like that again. Aina: What's that? Gene: While you were talking ever so pleasantly with Melfina, Quatre forced us to watch every fic that Tim and Mark have seen. Aina: So that's why Tim banged his head on the wall and said he liked eating bleach. ::Tim walks in.:: Mark: Speak of the devil... Tim: Anyone get the plate of that truck? Gene: It's okay. I'm sure Aisha will open up to you sooner or later. Tim: ::Sniff.:: Really? Gene: Sure. As I said earlier, I want her off my ship! >Disclaimer: I do not own any if the Tenchi Muyo or Dragonball Z >characters! Mark: "Any if"? Is the author contemplating the existence of the characters themselves or...? Spike: Don't think. It'll make your brain hurt. Mark: Right. >You know the drill! Aina: I was in the Zeon military, so I do know it. >Author's Note: This is my first crossover fanfic, so that speaks for >itself! Tim: DBZ + Tenchi Muyo equals disaster. >Washu's triumphant cackle could be heard throughout the Masaki >house. Tim: Is splicing a baseball with a hamster really necessary? >She had just finished another of her inventions. Tim: Oh... >Washu practically ran through the broom closet door. Spike: If it was "practically" ran through then she didn't do it all the way. >She pushed ito pen so hard, that it slammed into the wall. Gene: Yeah. I think pushing a door open like that DOES make it hit a wall. >Everyone was watching at.v. program and nearly jumped out of their >seats. Mark: (as Tenchi) NO! THAT PLAY WAS DONE ALL WRONG! DID YOU SEE THAT!? THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A FLAG ON THE PLAY! (reverts to normal Tenchi voice) Oh, hi Washu. >"Everyone to my lab! I need to show you my newest creation!" Aina: So that means to put on your safety glasses and stay a GOOD distance away from the invention. >Everyone groaned and got up. Spike: (as Ryoko) Do we really have to see your stupid Mass again? Aina: (as Washu) I just invented sliced bread! >Tenchi hung back away from Washu. Shewas still after him to be her guniea >pig. Tim: Now WHY would Washu be interested in him? Gene: I saw episode 7 of the OAV and I know what Tenchi's in for. Tim: Same here. But I still don't see the point. Washu just wants to give Tenchi a hand job. >"But it was my favorite show Washu!" Ryoko complained. Gene: (as Ryoko) It's the film of me when I stoned Tenchi and got nasty on him. >"And I actually got to sit next to Tenchi!" Gene: You did more than that. >Washu turned to her. "Ryoko?" >"What?" Ryoko said grumpily. Aina: (as Washu) I just say that to annoy you. >"Call me mom!" Spike: (as Washu) It's on your birth certificate. I am your mother and you will obey me! Tim: (as Ryoko) I hate you. >Ryoko groaned and continued to follow Washu down to her lab. Mark: To her death. >They all crowded around a big machine. Aina: (as Tenchi) Do we really need another blender, Washu? Tim: Nah. It's a giant bong. All: WHOOOOOOOOOOO-HOO!!!!!!! >Sasami looked at the machine, then Washu. Mark: (as Sasami) Thanks for helping me with my science project. First I'll mutilate a frog in class and then I'll kill the bullies. >"Is this why you missed lunch Washu?" >"I missed lunch? Spike: (as Washu) No wonder I'm so thin. >I must've been working so hard that I forgot about! Gene: Completing the sentence, making it sound really weird! >I'm sorry Sasami." >"Don't worry, I saved you some!" Tim: I suggest to Washu that she doesn't eat Sasami's cooking after such a long time. The little grains of rice might actually be maggots. >"Thank you Sasami." Gene: (as Washu) For not reminding me. >"What is this thing Little Washu?" asked Tenchi, clearly wanting to >get out of her lab. Spike: I don't blame him. >"This is my newest invention! Tim: WE KNOW! TELL US THE FUCKING NAME! Aina: I think that cheese slicer is too fancy. >Its called the InterAnime Transporter, or IAT. It can transport people >from other anime here!" Quatre: I'M SUING THAT WASHU BITCH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!! Mark: Oh, shit. Washu's in some deep, smelly manure. Spike: I doubt even Washu can stand up to Quatre's madness. Quatre: THE WASHU BITCH SHALL PAY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!! MY ULTRA ANIME CHARACTER DIMENSION EXTRACTOR IS COPYRIGHTED!!!! All: O_O;; Tim: Woe unto Washu. Spike: Who bets Washu will stand up to Quatre less than 20 seconds? Tim: ::Pulls out 50 dollars.:: Me. Mark: ::Pulls out 60 dollars.:: Me. Aina: ::Pulls out 100 dollars.:: Me, too. Gene: ::Pulls out a piece of Dragonite.:: Me. Spike: The bettings shall go toward our little break on Tenrei. The higher your bet was, the more you get out of your Tenrei vacation experience. >Mihoshi stepped forward to take a good look, but true to her nature, >she tripped. Aina: Duck and cover. Here comes the big one! >She grabbed part of the IAT for support, accidentally hitting a >big red button............. Gene: It said "KILL ALL". >"Mihoshi!" Washu screamed. >But the machine started up anyway. Tim: Like screaming the name of the perpetrator is actually going to stop Armageddon. >There was a low whirring sound and a flash of light. Aina: Oooohhhh. It was a beam rifle prototype. So they're all dead now. >When it was over, there were six more people in Washu's lab. Mark: Shouldn't there be no bodies at all since it was a beam rifle prototype? >"What happened? Who are you guys?" a tall blonde guy asked. >Washu looked up at him in amazement. "It worked! It worked! I am >*such* a genius!!!!" Quatre; YOU'RE A FUCKING COPYRIGHT INFRINGER!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! >She ran up to him and smiled her little girl smile. "Hiya! I'm >Little Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe! You're >cute! Do you want to be my guniea pig?" she said, looking him over. Gene: (as Washu) Want me to jack you off? >"Um................." Aina: Same response here. I know first-hand what it's like to have that happen. And I wouldn't want to be subjected to anyone's experiments either. Mark: (low voice) AWWW, FUCK! Aina: What was that? Mark: Uuuummmm. I said "raw muck!" Aina: Okay. Spike, Gene, and Tim: ::Snicker.:: >"These are my friends!" Washu continued. "This is my daughter >Ryoko, Aina: (as Washu) Who hates me. >Jurian Princess Aeka, Spike: (as Washu) Who wants to do the nasty with her great nephew. >her little sister Sasami, Gene: (as Washu) Who is the sex object of half the Tenchi lemons out there. >Kiyone, Tim: (as Washu) The poor soul that will be haunted by Mihoshi for all eternity. >my personal pain in the neck Mihoshi, Mark: (as Washu) I've tried killing her in every possible way known to all intellegent life but sadly, she's an immortal hellspawn reject. >grandfather Yosho, Spike: (as Washu) The old man that's just there. >his son Noboyuki, Aina: (as Washu) A pervert. Enough said. Tim: WAIT A SEC! Achika is Yosho's daughter! If Nobuyuki were Yosho's son...! OH, CHRIST, NASTY!!!!!!!! Others: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! Tim: Not meaning to be rude, but some facts need to be straightened out by our esteemed author. This fic is actually real decent... Achika is Yosho's child, NOT Nobuyuki. Or better yet, Nobuyuki is Yosho's son-IN-LAW. >Noboyuki's son and my *former* guniea pig Tenchi!" Tim: I'm out of jokes on this one. Mark: Same here. Spike: Same. >Tenchi let out a sigh of relief. Former was the word he had wanted >to hear. >"Um......hi. My name is Goku. This is my wife Chi-Chi, Gene: (as Goku) Chi-Chi is the one that jacks me off. >our son Gohan, Tim: (as Gohan) Hi. I'm powerful right now but later I'm going to stop being cool and let my power level drop dramatically. >Vegeta, Gene: (as Vegeta) Sorry I sound constipated in my English dub. >Piccolo, Aina: (as Piccolo) Yes, I am green. I am not nauseous! >and *our* scientist Bulma." Spike: (as Bulma) This lab makes my lab look like tinker toys. >Washu rushed over to Bulma with gleaming eyes. Mark: Yeesh! Washu looks like a gremlin on a sugar rush! >"You're a scientist? Me too!" Tim: (as Bulma) Ummm, yeah. Didn't Goku just say I am? >"Yeah....but aren't you a little young to be the 'greatest >scientific genius in the universe'? What are you? 11? 12?" Tim: In the area of five thousand... Aina: She has too much free time for someone that age. Mark: And that's a bad thing. >"No silly! Like I said, I'm the a genius! So I can make >myself *appear* young." Tim: As the resident Tenchi expert, I must correct this mistake. Washu is a goddess. She still retains some of her power. Mark: WHAT!?!?! So Quatre's going to lose to Washu because she's a goddess? Tim: It IS Quatre we're dealing with. Mark: Oh, yeah. Tim: Who knows. The Washu of this anime dimension is probably the Shin Tenchi Muyo one. >"Oh.....um....okay...." All: Whatever. >"Let's go!" Washu said grabbing Bulma's wrist and dragging her off >into the lab. >Ryoko laid her head on Tenchi's shoulder. Gene: (as Ryoko) Let's fuck! >"Just what I need Tenchi! Spike: A Heineken! >More women to distract you from me!" Tim: (as Tenchi) I don't even want YOU on me! What are you talking about!?! >But at the same time, Tenchi was thinking distract her from me!> Aina: ::Sarcastically.:: This relationship is going somewhere. >Aeka did not like this. Spike: Obviously. >"Ryoko! Don't bother Lord Tenchi with your foolishness! Tenchi >obviously loves *me*!" Tim: (as Tenchi) Does it count as love when you put a gun to my head? >"No way little princess!" Gene: You go Ryoko! Put her in her place! >"This is the last time you...you demon! Never again will you have >the chance to bug Lord Tenchi!" Mark: Oh, boy. Here we go again. Aina: This is the billionth battle in the many Tenchi univererses. Will it ever end? >Ryoko stepped forward until she was just inches from Aeka. "Is that >a challenge?" Gene: (as Ryoko) ...Bitch!? >"Yeah!" Tim: LET'S GET RRRRRRRREADY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!! >Tenchi stepped between the two girls. "Ryoko! Aeka! We have >guests!" Tim: DAMN! >Ryoko walked turned away from Aeka and said "Your time will come >Princess." and disappeared. Spike: (as Tenchi) I'll have to kill them myself later. >"Hmph!" Aeka said snottily, walking out of the lab. >"Why don't you go take a walk around the grounds." Tenchi suggested >to Chi-Chi. "You could go see the shrine." Aina: (as Chi-Chi) Actually I want to force Gohan to do some studying. >"Or the onsen!" Noboyuki put in. All: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!!! Mark: Nobuyuki's this desperate!?!?!?! How immoral! >Chi-Chi gave him a disgusted look and marched out of the lab. Aina: You go girl. You let him starve... >Yosho and Noboyuki had to go do their own things at the shrine, so >they too, left. All (except Aina): AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Aina: What was that all about? Mark: ::trembling.:: Y-you...don't know about the horrible fics we've been subjected to? Aina: Not really. Tim: It was...it was...HORRIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Spike: Nobuyuki...did...in that fic...to Sasami... Gene: ::In a catatonic state.:: Aina: Say no more. Others: Thank you!!!!! >Kiyone frowned and slapped her forehead. "I almost forgot! >Mihoshi and I have a shift at the diner! See you guys at >dinner!" Gene: (as Kiyone) I'll bring back a sandwich dropped on the floor and a loogie hawked in it! >Sasami watched them leave and then smiled at Gohan. "Do you like >video games Gohan?" >"Yeah!" Gene: I'm waiting for that moment where Chi-Chi says no. I bet she stops Gohan. >"I have a couple upstairs! Wanna go play 'em?" Spike: (as Sasami) I have one called "Get Suggested to Kill Your Friends Through Bloody Violence" and the other one is called "Crime and Getting Away With It." >"Sure!" >"Okay! Race you!" Mark: Gohan will win hands down unless Tsunami interferes. That raises another interesting question. Would a Super Saiyan or Tsunami win a fight? Gene: Let's save that one for the next break. >Gohan and Sasami raced out of the lab, Ryoki running behind them. Tim: Oh, great. Another misspelling of a Tenchi Muyo name. Aina: (as Chi-Chi) Get back here, Gohan! I'm going to make you study and have no life! >This left Tenchi, Goku, Vegeta, and Piccolo. Gene: (as Tenchi) Anyone wanna watch the game upstairs? Mark: (as Piccolo) Sure. My seats from Karin tower suck. Tim: (as Vegeta) I want to fight Kakkarott. >"Let's get out of here!" Tenchi said. Spike: (as Tenchi) MOMMY! Oh, wait. I don't have one. >"Okay." Goku agreed. "Its creepy in here." Spike: I'd run because I see Washu in the background putting on a rubber glove. >"Its creepier when Washu wants you to be herguniea pig! So if >I were you, I'd watch out!" Spike: See? >They sat down in the living room. Tim: (as Goku) I'll break out the pork rhinds. Aina: (as Piccolo) I'll break out the six packs. Mark: ::BBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP!!!!!!:: >"Do those girls always swarm all over you?" Goku asked. >"Yeah." >"The Ladies Man!" Gene: That's my title!!!!! >"I wish I weren't!" All: LOSER! >"Oh come on! If you had to spend a day with Chi-Chi's nagging, you >would be crawling back here!" Aina: (as Tenchi) I don't want women...PERIOD! >"I can say the same for Ryoko and Aeka's fighting!" >"Chi-Chi could be a one woman army." Piccolo said. Mark: Technically she is the strongest in DBZ along with Bulma. They're the only ones able to control Goku and Vegeta. > "Thats why *I* never got hitched." Vegeta said. "The last thing I >need is a woman controlling me!" Tim: Ummm, too late. >"So, you guys fight any good battles?" Tenchi asked, changing the >subject. Spike: (as Goku) Don't you ever watch TV? >"Here we go." Piccolo muttered under his breath. Mark: That's my line! >Goku was nearly out of his seat. "Oh man! Tons! Okay...it was us >versus Frieza on Piccolo's home planet Namek........." Aina: (as Piccolo) Look what you did!! Now it's going to take hours to shut him up! >Goku talked on and on, Vegeta adding his own bits and pieces. A >sweatdrop appeared on Tenchi's forehead. > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Tim: What the hell? Gene: That looks like... Spike: A...a... ::Everyone looks toward Mark.:: Tim, Gene, and Spike: PAGE BREAK!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! Mark: ::Red aura building up around him.:: Heeheeheeheeeeeeeeee... Aina: What happens at a page break? Gene: Mark goes apeshit and casts some magic spell!!! Spike: RUN!!! RUN YOUR ASS OFF!!!!! Tim: Mark's insanity exceeds mine at these points. Taking cover is HIGHLY recommended. Mark: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA. KJHGSIUGFIUUIFDUSLAOIFUY!!!!!! ::Demons start to pop up out of the ground.:: Demon #1: Fresh souls to torture!!! All: (except Mark) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Demon #2: And look! A woman! Let's get the tentacle demon out here! TENTACLE DEMON!!!!! ::Tentacle demon appears.:: Aina: ::Sweats heavily.:: Tentacle demon: Damn! I'm going to have a fun time! Tim: Mark! call off the spell or Aina's going to be the star of a new tentacle flick! Mark: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA. ::Snaps out of it.:: WHAT!?!?!?!?! NEVER! ::Calls off the summoning.:: Demons: DAMN IT! We'll see you in our home! ::The demons disappear.:: Gene: Whew... Aina: Ummmm, Mark. Can I ask you not to summon demons again? Mark: DUHDUHDUHDUHDUHDERRRRRRRR. Sure! >"So Washu....uh....Little Washu. Explain to me how this works." >Bulma said pointing to the IAT. Quatre: It's Quatre powered!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! >"Gladly! The IAT transports others to here. But in your place, time >has completely stopped." >"What a machine! Can you *show* me how it works?" Quatre: I CAN!!!! DON'T TALK TO THAT WASHU BITCH!!!! AHAHAHAAAAAA!!! All: ::Sweatdrop.:: >Washu pushed a couple of buttons, explaining what she did as she did >it. >After the familiar noise and light, Tim: After the noise and headlights of an 18 wheeler they were roadkill. >a young man appeared on the floor. Gene: Someone did get run over after all. >"Huh?" he asked. Spike: (as Trunks) Am I dead? >"Trunks!" Bulma exclaimed. >"Mom? What am I doing here? Here I am talking to someone and next >thing I know, I'm here!" Mark: (as Trunks) I was about to get to second base with that chick! >Bulma explained to Trunks about where he was, what happened, and the >people who lived here. Aina: They have to get out of there. >"Did you say lots of girls?" Spike: (as Trunks) Are they naked? >"Yeah!" Gene: Trunks is the pimp daddy now! >Washu smiled. "I have just the girl for you.....on one >condition.........." Aina: Here comes the rubber glove... >"Which is?" Aina: (as Washu) >"You call me Little Washu!" >"Easy enough!" Tim: There goes the player onto the field. >Washu closed her eyes and called to Ryoko through their mind link, >telling her of a handsome young man who wanted to me her. Spike: How can you "me" a person? >Sure enough, Ryoko appeared, startling Trunks. Taking one look at >him, she forgot the love she once had for Tenchi. Mark: Damn, that was quick. She forgot about Tenchi just like that. Tim: Gee. So many years of watching and loving Tenchi since his childhood go striaght out of her head. >Trunks stared right back at her. He had never seen anything more >beautiful. He looked deep into her golden eyes. Tim: I sure hope this doesn't any further than this and into a dreaded lemon. Gene: Speaking of lemons, the lemon monster hasn't really attacked us in our new fic lineup lately. Spike: Our luck won't hold out for long. >"You must be Ryoko." he said awkwardly. Tim: (as Trunks) DUUUUUHDUHDUHDUHDERRRRR!!!! >"Yeah." >"You're very beautiful." All men: DUH! >"She gets that from me!" Washu insisted. >Ryoko rolled her eyes and walked over to Trunks. "Whaddya say we >blow this popsicle stand?" Aina: This'll be interesting. >"I'm with you!" Gene: And there they go to get naked! > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Mark: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!! KILL!!!! MAIM!!!! DESTROY!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mark: ::Begins gathering energy for an ice spell.:: Mark: EWHFOIWAHPOIUHEWYPIUYREQAAAAAWWWWW!!!!!! ::A blizzard begins to blow and hit everyone with sharp ice.:: All (except Aina, mysteriously protected by a barrier spell): OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! ::Mark calms down.:: Tim, Spike, and Gene: Thanks a lot Mark! ::Point to multiple scars.:: Mark: Sorry. I guess my barrier spell only covers one person. >Chi-Chi had finished looking at the cave where Ryoko had been >imprisoned. She wondered about what was or had been behind the iron >gates. She stood for awhile, pondering, but then decided to go to the >onsen. Aina: Where Nobuyuki was waiting. >It took her awhile to find it, but eventually she did. She walked >inside and found Aeka. Spike: (as Aeka pulling off flower petals) He'll commit incest with me, he'll commit incest with me not, he'll commit incest with me, he'll commit incest with me not, he'll commit incest with me... >"Hello Princess Aeka." Spike: (continuing above action) He'll commit ince...Oh, hi Chi-Chi! >"Hello. How is your stay going." Aina: How's your punctuation going? >"Wonderful. Its peaceful here." Chi-Chi said sliding into the >water. "I see you like Tenchi." Gene: (as Aeka) I wasn't thinking about sex with Tenchi! I just really, really, really, really care about him as my great nephew. >"Very much Miss Chi-Chi." All: ::GROAN!!!:: >"He looks like he woud make a good husband." Aina: (as Chi-Chi) Yes, for a non-relative. >"Yes.....what is it like to have a husband?" Mark: (as a child) What's it like to have a husband?!?!?! WHATSITLIKE WHATSITLIKEWHATSITLIKEWHATSITLIKEWHATSITLIKEWHATSITLIKEWHATSITLIKE WHATSITLIKEWHATSITLIKE!?!!?!?!??!!??!?!?!?!!??!! Tim: (as old man) SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! >"With Goku, it can be wonderful, but scary. He is so sweet, but then >he drags Gohan off to some battle. Tim: (as Goku) Hey Gohan! Come on to a battle with me! It'll be fun and build character at the same time! It'll be fun, trust me!!! Father-son bonding!!! >He doesn't realize that I'm scared to death of those battles! I'm >afraid one day he won't come home!" Mark: (as Chi-Chi) My nagging skills will go to waste!!!!! >Aeka gave Chi-Chi a comforting smile. Gene: (as Aeka) If Goku dies you can always get closer to me... ::The others look at Gene with an eyebrow raised.:: Mark: ::Whispering to Gene.:: Not around Aina! >"There has been times when Lord Tenchi has fought too. I know how >scary it is thinking the one you love could die." > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Mark: Heh. Heh heh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Quatre: No laughing more insanely than me! Mark: ::Turns toward Quatre with an evil smile.:: Quatre: O_O;; Mark: UIEHFIHFIUEWQHOIUREORTOWA!!!!! ::A giant fireball heads toward the projection booth.:: Quatre: WHY ME!?!?!!??! ::Runs his ass out of the projection booth.:: ::The fireball destroys the projection booth.:: Spike: Let's get out of here! ::The MSTers leave the theater.:: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7... ___________________________________________________ ::The MSTers enter the living area and sit down at the table there.:: ::Quatre appears on the big screen.:: Quatre: We need to gear up now. I'm sending you all to the surface of Tenrei. Tim: But there's a catch isn't there? Quatre: Correct. I'm planting a tracking device on all of you. If any of you attempt escape they'll explode. Spike: Yay... Quatre: All of you have three hours to go do something on Tenrei. After three hours you will all be teleported back to the ship regardless of your activities. I'm also lending you guys some money. It the last part of my family fortune but it'll do. ::Quatre's minions hand some rolled up money to every MSTer.:: Keep any money you may have had on you. Tim: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroger that! Spike: Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted us to suffer. Quatre: I want my crew to be at full mental capacity when we go off to fight our janitor's captor. Tim: So we go out and enjoy ourselves... Quatre: Exactly... Mark: ::Thinking to self.:: This is the perfect opportunity to take Aina out! Gene: I'm going to get some caster shells. Tim: I'm going to wander aimlessly and scare people. Spike: I think I'll go play pool in a bar. Quatre: TO THE TRANSPORTER! It's kinda like Star Trek... Mark: ::Whispering to others.:: And he calls Washu a ripoff? Quatre: What was that? Mark: I said that Duo caused you a piss off! Quatre: Oh. Anyways, the transporter disassembles and reassembles molecules of organic and inorganic substances. Gene: ::Pretending to sneeze.:: *RIPOFF!* Quatre: Bless you. Aina: Have you done this before? Quatre: No. But I have guinea pigs. Gene: Thanks for your concern over our well-being. Quatre: If it makes you feel better I'll use a real guinea pig. ::Quatre brings out a guinea pig and moves it to the transporter pad:: Spike: Wouldn't it be easier to take the Outlaw Star? Gene: That's what I'm thinkin'. Quatre: Then how would we know you would come back if you take the Outlaw Star? Tim: You got tags on us that'll explode...what more proof do you need? Quatre: I have an invention here that hasn't been tested yet... Mark: An invention that's not even yours...the Star Trek people are going to have a field day with this. ::Quatre activates a few buttons on the console and the guinea pig starts to slowly dissappear:: Aina: I don't belive it...it worked! Quatre: Now take a look on that screen over there... ::The MSTers does as they are told:: Quatre: You will see soon that the guinea pig will materialize soon. ::The guinea pig starts to reappear and its sucessful:: Quatre: Now to bring it back safely...(presses some switches) ::Something starts to reappear on the pad, but when the sequence is complete, the guinea pig is turned inside out.:: ::Gene starts screaming insanely, Spike is just speechless with a facefault, Aina is doing her best to keep from throwing up. Unfortunately, Tim can't keep his lunch down and tosses his cookies onto the floor.:: Mark: Wow...cool!! Quatre: Well...heh heh...it still has a few bugs to work out. I also based it on the Galaxy Quest transporter as well as Star Trek. All MSTers: THAT'S IT...WE'RE TAKING THE OUTLAW STAR!!! Quatre: Allright, you bunch of babies...you can take the Outlaw Star. Quatre: While all of you are gone, I'm going to fix the projection booth that Mark destroyed. Mark: Go easy on the page breaks and everything will stay intact. Quatre: I don't write the fics. ::The MSTers board the Outlaw Star and land on Tenrei.:: ::After getting off the MSTers split money.:: Gene: Okay. We have three hours to do what we want. Meet back here before then. Mark: Got you. Tim: Okay. Spike: See you later. Aina: What am I going to do? Mark: You can come with me. Aina: Really? Thank you. ::The MSTers split ways.:: ::We first join Tim, who is doing what he said he'd do...Go around and scare people.:: Tim: I have enough money to go get some bleach. I know the audience may be getting tired of this running joke, but hey. ::Tim walks into a store and sees a box of powdered beach on the shelf.:: Tim: MINE!!!!!!!!! ::An old lady grabs the box before Tim reaches it.:: Tim: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ::Tim magically makes his mouth foam and growls at the old lady. Tim also twitches his eyes.:: Old lady: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ::Drops the bleach box and runs.:: Tim: PAY DIRT! Now time to pay for this and let the hallucinations begin! ::Pays for the bleach and leaves.:: ::We now join Mark and Aina, who are enjoying a nice lunch under the Tenrei sun. Cheesy music playing in the background.:: Aina: This is really nice. Shiro has never done this for me. It's strange. Every time he works hard and gets a lot of money and disappears. I hear rumors he's around that Kiki girl. What do you think of that, Mark? Mark: Uuuuum... Aina: I suspect he's cheating on me. Mark: If you can prove it, leave his ass! Aina: Yeah! I don't need him! Mark: Yeah! ::Thinking to self.:: Aina: Mark. I think I like you better than Shiro! Mark: Really? Aina: Yes! I LOVE YOU, MARK! Mark: I LOVE YOU, TOO!!! AINAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Aina: Mark! ::The two run towards each other and begin to hug.:: Mark: Aina! Aina: Mark! Mark! Mark? Mark?! ::Oops. It was a daydream.:: Mark: ::Snapping out of it.:: WHAT!??!!?!??!!?!?!? Aina: Mark? Are you ready to order? Mark: ::Thinking to self.:: ::Speaking.:: I'll have the fajitas, please. ::We now cut to Gene, in search of the wizards of Mt. Nantai. Gene climbs to the top of Mt. Nantai and finds the ruins of the temple there.:: Gene: Gee. I guess they haven't even started on restoration. ::Hears someone coming:: Ark: YOU! Gene: (turns around and sees the wizards Ark and Hadul) Huh? Hey, guys. Ark: You did this to my temple. Do you have any idea how much it cost to build this thing? Gene: Hey, I didn't do shit...it was your friend with her attitude problem that blew this place up. Hadul: What do you mean? Gene: It wasn't my idea to get some naked footage of her on videotape. I just needed the Caster shells. Ark: That still doesn't change the fact that we have no where to live anymore. Gene: Why don't you get a place closer to town? Hadul: Hey...that's a good idea...why didn't I think of that? Ark: Because you're too old and stupid. Hadul: Oh...I knew that. Gene: Let's go...drinks are on me. ::The three go to a bar and talk things over.:: Gene: I'll have a straight shot of whiskey. Ark: I'll have gin with a lemon in it. Hadul: I'll have a Bloody Mary. Bartender: That'll be 600 woolongs. Gene: Okay. Here's the money. ::Hands the bartender a crisp 2000 woolong bill out of a huge roll of bills.:: Ark: Where did you get all that money? Gene: I got it from a high source. Ark: So, if you got money from such a high source, can you spare us some? Gene: My benefactor isn't exactly the amiable type. Ark: I DON'T CARE! It was your fault that our temple is gone! Gene: How the hell is it my fault!?!?! I just came asking for caster shells and you made me go out there and do all the dirty work! ::Hadul interferes.:: Hadul: Can I order some food? Gene: ::Not paying attention to Hadul's words.:: FINE! Hadul: Oh, goodie! I'm hungry! Bartender! Ark: As I was saying... YOU STARTED IT!!!! Gene: I STARTED IT!?!?!?! How could I have known that I would be made to get dirty footage laced with volitale substances!? Ark: We'll do anything!!! Just let your "benefactor" know we need some cash!!!!!!! Gene: Uuuuuuum, you really wouldn't like the tasks under this guy!!!! Ark: WHO IS IT!?!?!??!!?! Gene: Quatre Raberbra Winner... Ark: WHAT!?!?!? Gene: That's right. Ark: So the rumors I heard were true. Quatre is holding people hostage. What is he making you do? Menial labor? Gene: ::Face turns evil-looking.:: Worse... Ark: An underground animal fighting ring? Gene: ::Same evil face.:: Not even close. Ark: Then what is it!?!?!?!!? TELL ME!!!!! Gene: We watch fan fiction... Ark: WHAT!? That's all!? That's not too bad!!! Gene: Horrible Tenchi fan fiction!!!!! Ark: NO! Gene: The past couple of ones haven't been bad. But we've been watching horrible Sasami sex scenes!!!!!! Ark: ::Tears hair out.:: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ::Everyone in the bar stops.:: Man: What the hell did you just say? Gene: Quatre Raberbra Winner makes us watch Tenchi lemons! A couple have had Sasami in them! Man: WHAT A SICK LITTLE FUCK!!!! Hadul: Lemon? That reminds me. I want a lemon pie! Gene: Old man! Didn't you hear us? Quatre is making us watch lemons with Sasami as the star in most of them! Ark: Leave him alone. He's just a senile old fart. Hadul: I want to see a nasty lemon! Woman: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! SHUT UP!!!!! Gene: May the heavens above forbid!! Ark: Go back to your eating! I have to put up with your old man self every day! Hadul: Okay. ::Continues eating.:: Gene: Trust me. You don't want to live under Quatre. Ark: I'll sell my soul to Satan!!!!!! LET ME GO WITH YOU!!!!!!!! Gene: I'm doing this for your own good! Ark: Here are some caster shells! ::Puts two caster shells in Gene's hand.:: Hadul: Here! We want our temple and big screen back! Let us serve Quatre and get our money! ::Places two shells in Gene's hands.:: I want to watch my dirty videos again! Gene: Two number nines and two number thirteens. You're desperate, huh? Hadul: I miss my hentai! Gene: Shut up! Anyways, let me think about you joining us. Ummmm, NO! BYE! ::Runs off with caster shells.:: Ark: STOP! ::Jumps at Gene and grabs his legs.:: ::A big brawl soon engulfs the bar floor. Hadul is still eating.:: Hadul. This is nice! ::We now join Tim again. The box of bleach is lying beside him and his empty. Tim is almost out of it behind a dumpster.:: Tim: Shit. I shouldn't have pigged out on that. ::Tim's freakish imagination gets kicked on by the bleach.:: ::The newspapers and other assorted pieces of garbage come to life.:: Newspaper: Hey. Check out the nutty guy. Beer bottle: Yeah. I don't know why but LET'S KILL HIM! Tim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ::Begins to run.:: Old, rotting fish head: Let's mug him and take his wallet! Giant lint ball: I know! Let's strangle him! Tim: HELP ME! ASSORTED GARBAGE IS OUT TO KILL ME! ::The people run out of Tim's path screaming.:: Tim: THE END OF THE WORLD IS AT HAND!!!! TELETUBBIES ARE THE DEVIL AND WILL SUMMON THEIR ARMY OF DARKNESS TO RULE THE WORLD!! AHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! ::Tim sees a billboard with a picture of, you guessed it, the sun.:: Tim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Sun of hallucination: Are you starting at my freckles? Tim: NO! OF COURSE NOT! Sun of hallucination: It's time to die, punk! Tim: AAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! ::Takes off running.:: ::We now cut to Spike. Spike is looking for a way to escape, NOT playing pool in a bar.:: Spike: Hmmm. There's a couple of armed personal transport ships. Oooo, that one has a super heavy-duty resort city buster gun on it. I think I'll take a look at that one. Even a huge sun-like search light is on it. ::Spike hears the people running from Tim and sees that Tim is causing trouble.:: Spike: Oh, man. It looks like I'll have to pursue him. It's a good thing I know how to hotwire these things. ::Spike hops into the cockpit and hotwires the personal transport (flying model) with the super heavy resort city buster on it.:: Spike: I'm off! Owner of armored transport dealership: ::Runs out of office.:: HEY! YOU'VE GOT TO PAY FOR THAT! ::Tim runs into a dark warehouse and lies down on some padding.:: Tim: I really need some rest to get rid of this headache. Spike: I thought I saw time go into that warehouse over there. I'll have to hover in there and take him by surprise. ::Spike enters the warehouse and sees Tim lying down.:: Spike: AH-HAH! ::Throws on search light.:: I've got you now! Tim: THE SUN IS FOLLOWING ME!!!! ::Runs out the back door.:: Spike: ::Blows open the back wall and pursues Tim.:: ::What ensues is a giant pursuit.:: Tim: I'LL STOP LOOKING AT YOUR FRECKLES! LEAVE ME ALONE! ::Spike is tearing through small shops and stands like they weren't there.:: Spike: ::Over loudspeaker.:: Tim! It's me. Recognize my voice? Stop! Tim: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! ::Not listening, too deep in insanity to recognize Spike.:: Spike: All right. I'm going to have to knock you out with concussion grenades. ::Presses a button and fires concussion grenades. They miss Tim and fly into several shops and other random things.:: Spike: Damn it! Hold still! ::We now cut to Mark and Aina again. They have just finished lunch and are talking.:: Aina: How are you enjoying the anime dimension? Mark: I love it here. First off, I get to look like an anime character. Second, I can defy the normal laws of physics. Third, I can get all kinds of stuff I can't get in the real world, such as a caster gun. Fourth, injuries aren't as serious as they could be in the real world. Aina: Why did you come here? Mark: Tim talked me into it. First off we just came here to watch the fights in DBZ and then we got into other shows. Tim really likes Bubble Gum Crisis and Evangelion while I like Dragon Ball Z and any Gundam show. Then we decided to get into the MST business. Talk about a bad decision. Aina: Do you really like Gundam shows? Mark: Yeah, why? Aina: Do you like me? Mark: ::Thinking to self.:: ::Aina and Mark stare at each other for a long time.:: Mark: Yes, I... ::UH-OH! Tim and Spike coming through!:: Tim: Leave me alone, sun! Spike: ::Over loudspeaker.:: STOP IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS SANE!!!!! Tim: NOOOOOOOO!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Spike: HOLD STILL!!! ::Fires another round of concussion grenades. The grenades land right next to Aina and Mark as Mark is answering Aina's question:: Mark and Aina: AUUUUGH! ::Fly off and into a giant cake at the restaurant.:: Mark: ::Wiping cake off him.:: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, TIM! ::Turns to Aina.:: See? I'm not injured. Now Tim will have to die. Tim: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! ::Runs off.:: Spike: Oh no you don't! Mark: Get back here! You're going down! ::Spike and Mark are off chasing Tim.:: Spike: ::On commmunicator to Mark.:: Okay. Get out of my way. I'm going to use the big gun. Mark: What?! ::Spike charges up the resort city busting gun.:: Mark: NO! Don't do that! ::Too late. Spike fires a huge ass beam that takes out a quarter of the resort city.:: ::Quatre is monitoring the chaos. After laughing his ass off he decides to bring the MSTers back...with the transporter. Use your imagination and out this into a three hour time frame.:: Quatre: Now that I've had my laugh after repairing the projection booth it's time to bring them back. They've got torture to undergo. RASHEED! Rasheed: Yes, Master Quatre? Quatre: Prepare the transporter! Rasheed: Understood, Master. Quatre: And Rasheed. Make sure there is no powdered bleach on board. If there is, toss it out the airlock. Rasheed: Your wish is my command, Master. ::Rasheed hits a few buttons on the transporter after getting to it and brings the MSTers back.:: ::The MSTers materialize successfully.:: Gene: ::Fighting with Ark.:: Tim: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Mark: I'll kill you! Spike: Stop or I'll...! Huh? Aina: How'd we get back here? Gene: ::Stops fighting a sec.:: And what about my ship? It's still on the surface! Quatre: No worries. Rasheed will pick it up for you. Right? Rasheed: I'm your right hand man. Quatre: Good minion. Fetch the Outlaw Star while they get back in the theater. ::Turns to Ark.:: I'll have to teleport you back to the surface. Ark: WAIT!!!!! LET ME WATCH FICS!!! NOOO!!! ::Begins to disappear.:: Gene: Here! ::Tosses a piece of Dragonite to Ark as he disappears.:: Ark: Thanks! Maybe we can start rebuilding! ::Ark appears back in the bar.:: Hadul: THAT WAS GOOD! I'm all full! Bartender: You guys started this brawl! You'll have to pay for the damages and your food bill! Ark: No need to worry. I have some Dragonite. There will be plenty left to pay you after I cash this! Bartender: Give me that! ::Takes Dragonite and looks at it with a small glass thingie.:: This is low density Dragonite! Ark: WHAT!? ::Looks at Dragonite himself.:: NO! Gene Starwind! You haven't seen the last of me! Bartender: The Dragonite won't pay for all of it. You'll have to wash dishes! Ark: DAMN YOU GENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::Back to the ship.:: Quatre: Get back in there! ::Hits alarm.:: 7...6...5...4...3...2...1... _____________________________________________ ::All MSTers enter the theater with Tim at the back of the group.:: Tim: ::Rubbing forehead.:: OW, FUCK! We're cleaning our clothes with soapy water from now on! >Sasami laughed in triumph as she defeated Gohan for the tenth time. Tim: (as Gohan) You keep throwing me in this fighting game! You suck!!! No real strategy at all! >"I never knew a person who could beat me at this game!" Gohan mused. >Sasami smiled and checked her watch. "I'd love to win more Gohan, >but I have dinner to cook." Aina: (as Gohan) You know you'll eventually lose to me. You're quitting while you're ahead. >"Thats okay Sasami. I'll go and keep you company." All: NO LEMON!! >The two ran down to the kitchen, passing Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta, and >Tenchi in a blur. Spike: (as Tenchi) KEEP IT DOWN! WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME HERE!!!! >Piccolo was snoring away, Mark: (as Piccolo) ::SNOOOOORE.:: That kick wasn't good... ::SNOOOOORE.:: Great pass to the 10 yard line... ::SNOOOORE.:: >and Vegeta had lost interest, Gene: (as Vegeta) Can I fight you now, Kakkarott? Aina: (as Goku) Wait a little while. It's only halftime... And besides, I'm recapping the battle with Cell... >but Goku continued on, recounting every detail of every fight. Tim: (as Goku) And then I pucnched at Cell and then he used a Kamehameha. ::Muttering.:: Cheapskate, no original move bastard. Mark: I HATE CELL! Tim: Me, too! Cheapskate, no original move bastard! Sorry I had to repeat myself. That's what Cell is. >Goku stopped talking to watch Sasami and Gohan. Spike: That was a split second before Goku started again about his many battles. >"Awwww!" Goku said laughing. "The little guy's in love!" All: NO LEMON!!!!!! >"Females," Vegeta sneered. "The number one weakness!" Gene: But what about Bulma, huh? I say you gave in to your lust weakness for a sec there... >"You said it!" Tenchi agreed. Tim: Shut up, monkey boy! You don't have the right to be called a man! > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Mark: AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Gene: STOP HIM!!!! Mark: JHFIJSAHFLIUEWQIROEQWWRUIYSSDGIH!!! ::Mark casts Ultima. But Aina is mysteriously protected.:: Tim, Gene, and Spike: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! ::Get swallowed up by the Ultima spell with the rest of the theater.:: Tim, Gene, and Spike: ::Luckily alive but in extreme pain.:: Gene: I think...next time we....should...*ARGH!*...chloroform him! Spike: Quatre should have the decency to give us a page break warning! SHIT! THIS HURTS! Tim: There's nothing comfy to sit on now that Mark totally trashed the theater. The other spells were baby stuff until now. We've had to use up all the spare seats! Quatre: From now on, after this fic, I will give page break warnings in advance starting with the next fic! Aina: Control yourself, Mark! >"Dinnertime!" Sasamia called awhile later. Tim: Mayhem time! >Kiyone and Mihoshi entered the house, just as everyone was crowding >around the table. Kiyone leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. >"I'm so exhausted!" she said wearily. Gene: Rrrrrreallyyyyyyyyy? ::Nosebleed.:: >"Hard day Kiyone?" Sasami asked. >"Yeah." Tim: Restaurant work sucks... >Tenchi looked over to Washu. "Um......Little Washu." >"Yes?" >"How are we going to fit everyone at this table?" Tim: Let them eat in the guest dining area or the patio area like everyone else. >Washu gave him a big grin. Aina: There goes the gremlin look again! >"Just leave it to the greatest scientific genius in the universe!" Spike: That's what we're all afraid of. >Her Washu-bots appeared on her shoulders. Mark: Hey! We've got a continuity problem here! Tim: Chill. This happens in fan fiction. Quatre: At least it's not a page break. Mark: WHERE!??!??!?!?!?!??! Aina: Stop it! Gene: Yeah! Pretty soon the whole ship will be gone! >"Leave it to Washu!" A said. Tim; No. Let's not and say we did. >"She's a genius!" B exclaimed. Quatre: SHE'S A COPYCAT!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! >Washu gave Bulma a friendly wink as her holo computer appeared in >front of her. Aina: (as Bulma) Okay, okay. I get it. You're a genius and I'm not! TO HELL WITH YOU! >She punched a few keys and the table disappeared and was replaced by >a new, longer one that was already set. Everyone sat down as Sasami >brought the food over. Tim: I need some technology like that to clean my room. Mark: Me, too. Gene: That goes for me as well. We need to contact Washu and get us something like that. Spike: Maybe she could throw in some weapons. >Soon, everyone was talking to everyone else, causing the room to be >filled with joyful chatter. Washu would type a little on her holo >computer, say something, and then join the conversation. Aina: But she's not eating. Talk about having no social life... >"Washu..." Tenchi began. >"Ah ah ah! *Little* Washu" Washu interuppted. Tim: (as Washu) Say "Washu" one more time and you'll be sorry that you were ever born... >"Um....Little Washu, what are you doing?" >"I'm creating rooms for our guests to stay in." >Tenchi nodded. Gene: (as Tenchi) Okay. I'll go put a severed horses head in all their beds when they fall asleep. >After dinner, Washu showed them the extra rooms. >"Am I a *genius* or what?!" Aina: Yes. So shut up! > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() >Washu sighed. For the past week, the Masaki house had been >peaceful. For once, no fights. Spike: That's impossible. Ryoko and Aeka butt heads at least a few times every day. >She was working alongside Bulma. Tim: The Dynamic Duo of Science! Mark: Since Washu's smarter she'll call Bulma Number Two. Gene: Hehe. >They both knew that the two groups wouldn't be able to >stay together forever, but they wished they could. Aina: They could have exchanged recipies! >So they worked on new inventions to keep their minds off their >worries. > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Mark: Must control rage. MUST...CONTROL...RAGE!!!!!! ::Finally Mark dosen't cast any magic!!:: >Ryoko and Trunks walked into the house. Ryoko was excited. Gene: First base... >Her excitement flooded into Washu's head through their mind link, >causing her to run up to Ryoko. Gene: (as Washu) Hey! My mind insurance doesn't cover excitement floods! >"Ryoko! You can't be this excited and not tell me why!" Mark: I think she CAN tell. She just wants real confirmation. >"First you have to get everyone in here! Especially Aeka, heh heh." All: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUH-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH............ Tim: This is going to turn into a Jerry Springer episode. Mark: And something's going to get destroyed. All: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! Tim: (as Jerry Springer) Hello. And welcome to today's episode. Today's topic is "I Lust You: Instant Relationships." >"Oh come on! Tell me tell me tell me!" Aina: Shut up, gremlin! You need to decrease your caffiene intake! >"You can wait." Spike: (as a child Washu) But Washu want cookie now! >"Oh okay." Washu said disappointedly. Her holo computer appeared >and she typed half heartedly. Tim: (as Washu) I'll just search the net for a better daughter who'll tell me why she's so excited. >Everyone appeared. looking confused. Spike: (as Tenchi) Come on! It's the fourth quarter! Can this wait until a commercial? >"All easy for the greatest scientific genius in the universe." Mark: Except for you knowing what your daughter's excited about. >"Oh....its just Washu." Kiyone said as the Washu-bots appeared on >Washu's shoulders wearing little pink cheerleading outfits. >"Go Washu, go Washu! You're a genius, you're a genius........" the >sang. Mark: I want to see some fists fly! Start the Jarry Springer action! >Washu danced a little to their song, but turned immediatly serious, >remembering Ryoko's news. Gene: Doesn't she NOT know what Ryoko's thinking? >"What are we here for?" Tenchi asked. Aina: I, too. Ponder the meaning of existence. Why are we here? Gene: Melfina said something like that, too. ::Imitating Melfina's voice.:: Why was I made? Who made me? And what did they make me for? >"Ryoko has some news." Washu explained. "What is it Ryoko?" Spike: GRRRRRRRRRRR! Does she know or not!?!?!?!??! >Ryoko smiled at Trunks. Gene: Poor sap. He doesn't know what he's in for. >"We're in love!" Trunks said. All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! >"And we're getting married." Ryoko added. All: WHOO-HOO! >Everyone was silent, then everything started at once. Tim: Bad time management. Most of their stuff won't get done. >Washu and Bulma rushed up to congratulate their children. Ain: (as Bulma) Now you can get out of my house and stop eating all the food and draining my money! >Tenchi silently thanked Trunks. Mark: (as Tenchi) Thanks for taking the garbage out for me! It was really starting to stink! ::Nerdy laugh.:: >Mihoshi started to sing about a wedding. Gene: The glass is going to start breaking if Mihoshi's pitch gets any louder. >Aeka stood up and laughed her high-pitched laugh. Tim: THERE'S your high pitch to break glass! >"Now Tenchi is mine!" Spike: Who cares? >Vegeta looked to Tenchi. "Don't fall in love man. It'll be your >worst mistake!" Aina: It'll be so fufilling. You don't want any of that mess. >Aeka looked at Vegeta angrily. Mark: Let the blood fly! >"Its too late Vegeta! Tenchi already *does* love me, don't you >Tenchi?" >"Um............" Tim: (as Tenchi) No. >Ryoko looked from Bulma to Washu and shuddered. Spike: (as Ryoko) I feel sorry for that poor bastard. >They were already discussing some kind of invention that would make >wedding planning easier. ::All of the men laugh.:: Aina: What's so funny? Gene: I don't think any machine would take into account how long women take to plan a wedding! Aina: ::SOCKS Gene in the face.:: ::Tim, Mark, and Spike keep their mouths shut.:: > >Mihoshi yawned and said "I'm sleepy! Can we go to bed now?" Tim: What!?!?! It's light outside! >No one heard her. Mark: In the middle of woods no one can hear you scream! Tim: And no one can hear a tree fall over, either. >Every one was engaged in watching Aeka and Vegeta trying to outdo >eachother. Spike: Just what we need...more weddings. >"Have *you* ever fallen in love Vegeta?" >"Yeah." Mark: (as Vegeta) So what's wrong with getting a little piece of ass now and then? That's love, isn't it? >"You have?" >"Yeah!" Mark: (as Vegeta) Didn't you hear me, you inbred bitch!? >"What happened?" >Vegeta jerked his thumb in Trunks' direction. "Kids." Spike: (as Vegeta) They always get me in trouble with Bulma. They always get their way. I suffer the consequences if I don't. >Aeka smirked. "Heh heh! Almighty Vegeta can't handle the pitter >patter of little feet!" Gene: But what about your inbred child? The deformed feet pitter- pattering will be disturbing... >The *whole* gang was now watching the two. Tim: (as Goku) A martial arts tournament right here! All right! >They all burst out laughing at Aeka's wit. Aina: (as Ryoko) You suck so bad. As a matter of fact everything about you sucks! >Watching Aeka and Ryoko fight was annoying, but watching these two >fight was just plain ol' amusing! Spike: (as Tenchi) The game can wait! I can't record Aeka dying! Wait a sec! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!? I need to borrow your camera! >"What do *you* know about kids you nitwit?" >"Nitwit?! Azaka......Kamidake........." Mark: This is going to be a no-brainer on the winner. >The two guardians appeared beside her. Aina: (as both Azaka and Kamidake) Ready to die at your command! >"Aeka, not in the living room!" Tenchi yelled. Spike: (as Tenchi) You'll dirty up the carpet! >"Everyone duck!" Washu exclaimed. All: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! >Everyone got on the floor and covered their heads. They weren't >stupid. They knew what was coming. Aina: Duh. >"Yes Miss Aeka?" Kamidake asked. >"Attack him!" Aeka ordered. >"Yes Ma'am." >The two guardians powered up. Vegeta just smiled. Tim: In two seconds those two will be salt and pepper shakers. >"All right! Now were talking! >Gaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccc Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuunn!" Aina: (as Tenchi) VEGETA! NOT THE RUG! Well, the house, actually. >Trunks stepped between Aeka and Vegeta. "Dad!" he shouted. "Don't >you *ever* hit a girl!" Gene: So don't hit Tenchi! Others: Heeheeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! >Vegeta stopped his blast and Aeka stopped the guardians. Vegeta >turned to Aeka. "You're lucky this time princess!" he sneered. >"I think its time we got to bed." Bulma said softly. >Everyone else agreed and hurried out of the room. > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Mark: SPELL TIME! Quatre: NO YOU DON'T!!!!!!!! ::Hits tazers on the ceiling.:: Mark: GAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! ::Gets shocked.:: Quatre: I thought it was funny watching you the first few times but now that you're ruining my ship I can't let you do that anymore. >A few days later, Washu and Bulma were standing in front of Ryoko >and Trunks with a large book in their hands. Aina: Uh-oh. I think both of them are going to talk to Trunks and Ryoko about sex and dating with the Bible to point out specific no-no's on dates. >"This is our invention to help you plan the wedding! With this, >you'll be able to get married sooner!" Tim: That's unusual. I thought a lot more ladies would write that book. Aina: ::Gives Tim a nasty look.:: Tim: ::Backs down.:: >"What is it?" Trunks asked. >"Its our Do-It-Yourself-Wedding-Made-Easy-Book." Washu explained. >"With this book you can pick a time, date, and place for your wedding, >design your own decorations, dresses and tuxes, pick a preacher, order >food, everything! Instead of it taking months to plan the wedding, >you can plan it within a day!" Mark: (as Trunks) But it only has one page!!!!! The words say "GO TO VEGAS" on it! >"Wow thanks guys!" Ryoko exclaimed. Gene: (as Washu) And here's a copy of the Kama Sutra. >"Yeah!" Trunks agreed. "We won't have to wait to be married!" Tim: They're excited. I think they're rushing it for something else. >Washu smiled and looked to Ryoko. >"What is it Washu?" Spike: Here goes with Washu and her "call me mom" stuff again. >"Ryoko! For crying out loud, CALL ME MOM!" Tim: (as Washu) Or you'll be soooooooo sorry! >"Okay okay!" >Washu looked at Bulma. "They grow up so fast!" >"They do." Bulma agreed. > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Mark: Not going to go mad. I'm happyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! ::Really doesn't intend to cast a spell.:: Quatre: ::Shocks Mark anyways.:: Mark: OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW, FUCK!! I wasn't going to cast a spell! >A month later, Washu cried silently as Ryoko walked up the aisle in >her stunning dress. Ggene: You mean that bikini and thong there? >Trunks stood proudly, watching her. Tim: Trunks is in for some serious SHIT tonight guys! All men: WHOO-HOO! >Washu was Ryoko's Best Maid, which pleased her. Mihoshi, Kiyone, >and even Aeka were also Bride's Maids. Aina: Aeka's depressed that she's not getting married yet and probably has a vodka bottle under her dress. >Vegeta, Goku, Gohan, and Piccolo were Trunks' Best Men. >The couple said there vows, Tim: Vows? Where? Oh, over "their". >and finally, sealed the deal with a kiss. >Washu watched sadly as the limo drove off. Spike: What!? A limo!?! I think Washu should build a spaceship for them! What a cheapskate! >he and Bulma had created a large home for the happy couple to >live in as a wedding present. Aina: Cheapskate parents. >It was in the woods near the Masaki home. Tim: That sucks. I'd build mine farther away than that. Spike: Washu would just make a secret subspace link somewhere and sneak in. Tim: You're right. >At least her daughter would be close.....but it would never be the >same................ > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Mark: NOT CASTING A SPELL! So DON'T pull any shit on me, Quatre! Quatre: ::Shocks Mark for the hell of it.:: Mark: I hate you. >Everyone gathered together in Washu's lab to see the guests off. Gene: Freeloader guests. Don't you hate the ones that show up univited and get drunk at the reception? >Washu walked up to Bulma. >"Here Bulma. These are for you." Aina: (as Bulma) What am I going to do with two tapeworms? >A pair of Bulma-bots took their places on her shoulders. >"Bulma is the greatest!" A said. >"She is the best!" B agreed. All: OH, CRAP! NOT THIS! Spike: Those are annoying! >"Come visit anytime." Tenchi said laughing. Tim: (as Tenchi) And get rid of more of these girls! >Washu waved sadly and pressed a button on the IAT. Mark: Wait! That says "Instant Atomizing Trasher!" >Trunks waved his goodbye as the six people disappeared. Mark: That Instant Atomizing Trasher did its job. > !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Tim: Is someone swearing or something? Spike: Yep. Someone just hit their big toe on something. >Epilogue................ Mark: The marriage lasted ten seconds. Trunks and Ryoko had long bitch-slapping sessions and had a lot of domestic problems. The cops made nightly stops. Trunks had an illegitimite baby and left Ryoko, who decided to have an illegitimate child of her own to get back at him. >Goku, Vegeta, Chi-Chi, Bulma, Gohan, and Piccolo all returned to >their own places. They explained Trunks' disappearance. Tim: But authorites never found the body. >But they all returned to visit once a month. >Aeka and Tenchi soon fell in love and were married. All: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Tim: Their children had serious birth defects, though. >Gohan and Sasami were in love too, but waited for awhile before >they got married. (Teehee) Spike: No lemony side story please! Others: PLEASE! >Aeka convinced Chi-Chi to talk to Goku about her fears. She >did and Goku completely understood. Mark: I guess when Cell shows up the world is doomed. >Everything had been peaceful since the guests had come to stay >with them. And it still was. Gene: Except for when Trunks got drunk and beat Ryoko with a lead pipe. >Washu had a feeling it would be peaceful for a >loooooooooooonnnnnng time.................... Aina: Except for when Ryoko called her and asked for bail money for Trunks. >THE END Tim: Yet again, another decent fic. >Like I said, this is my first crossover fic! If you have >any questions or comments or anything, let me know at >iamabrat@voyager.net Spike: I'd like to thank the author for no lemon content. >Thanks! Gene: No problem Tim: (as Jerry Springer) My final thought for today is... Fucked up people CAN find happiness in incestous realtionships. You can go from whining boy with no balls at all to the freak that gets whispered about at the local supermarket. And people that marry each other one month after knowing each other are some strange characters. So long, and ::in the spirit of the original MST3k cast:: go Packers. ::The MSTers leave the theater.:: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7... _____________________________________________ ::back in the living area:: Quatre: And now, its time to say good-bye to our first guest. Aina: You know what, I kinda like it here...anythings better than having to help that one-legged idiot Shiro with everything. Mark: ALLRIGHT!!! WOO-HOO!!! Gene: Are you sure about this? Spike: The fics aren't going to be any better. Tim: But, if you remain here, then Shiro would probably kill himself. All including Aina: And your point would be...? Tim: Oh...right! Quatre: As much as I hate to admit, the guys are right. Plus the Ultra Anime Character Dimension Extractor won't let any one anime character stay in this world for over three days...not with the power that is currently stored in there anyway...you'd need more juice than we used to get you here. Mark: NOOOOOO!!!!!! ::Cries:: ::Aina then says good-bye to everyone and Quatre opens the vortex. As Aina is going through, Mark tries to follow her.:: Quatre: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Mark: Why not? Quatre: Because, you're not an anime character. If you went through that portal, you would spontaneously combust and turn into a pink bunny. Don't worry, I'll have her visit again. Tim: Cool! Do it, Mark! All..even Quatre: LAY OFF THE BLEACH, TIM!!! ::Gilliam appears:: Gilliam: I'm very sorry to disturb everyone, but we have a ship coming out of sub-either. Quatre: It's them! Gene: Who? Quatre: The people who kidnapped Duo! Spike: What's the plan? Mark: This, I gotta see. Quatre: Ready the Outlaw Star... -To Be Continued-