This is an MST of a lemon, so if you're not eightteen or over, hit the back button on your browser. Tenchi Muyo and El Hazard are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC. Cavis Darktower and Davner Mollidon are the property of Thomas "009" Doscher. "No Need For Sneaking" is the property of Chibi Washu-chan, who has our sincerest thanks for allowing us to take his fic, crunch it up into a ball, set it on fire, and flush the ashes down the toilet. Thanks! ^_^ For those of you who don't know, Cavis and Davner are characters from the fic, "Destiny's Balance," and the prequel, "Two Guys, A Girl, and a Giant Lizard." (coughs) Shameless plug! *Cough! Cough!* <009> SHUT IT! On with the MST! Two Guys, Two Girls, and A Jurain Princess MST "No Need for Sneaking." (Dawn at the Satellite Deep Six Nine.) (Comes racing around a corner, barely evading a wind blast.) (Appears around that same corner a minute later, her hair dripping wet and a towel wrapped around her.) YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD, DAVNER!!! (As he races past Cavis and Ryoko, who are sitting at the satellite's kitchen table.) Jeez! Most women would take it as a compliment! (Davner dives into another compartment and locks the door behind him.) (Bangs on the steel door with her fist.) GET OUT HERE YOU GODDAM HENTAI! (From behind the door.) Not by the hair of my chinny chin- chin! (Screams at the door.) YOU CAN'T HIDE IN THERE FOREVER!! (From behind door.) I can try! (Growls in frustration and joins Cavis and Ryoko at the kitchen table. She glares at Cavis.) Just to put you on notice, I'm disembowling your friend. What did he do this time? Can you believe the little ecchi tried to seduce me in the shower....AGAIN!? (Thinks for a minute.) Well...actually...yeah. Davner's nothing if not persistant. (Opens the door a crack and sticks his head out.) (Notices Davner's head and quickly throws a coffee mug at him. Davner hurriedly shuts the door. The mug shatters against it.) Perv... (Face appears on the kitchen screen.) Hello, kiddies! Good news! I think I've found a way to get you down! (Snorts derisively.) Sure, Washu, we've all heard *that* one before. Seriously this time! I found an alpha mind pattern that will match up and get you guys down! Serious?! (Nods.) It turns out I was looking too far. Instead of looking at other animes, I should've been looking at ones closer to home. Um...wait a sec. Who are you sending up here? (Clears throat.) AYEKA JURAI, COME ON DOWN!!! (Bright light appears and Ayeka falls to the floor.) AAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!! (Blinks and looks back and forth between Ryoko and Ayeka.) OH DEAR LORD! GET ME DOWN! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! (Begins panicking as well.) THIS PLACE WILL BE SCRAP METAL IN TEN MINUTES!!! HELP!! HELP!! (confused) Hello Miss...? (confused) Ryoko. (looks puzzled) What? Don't you recognize Ryoko? (squinting eyes) That's not Ryoko. (ticked off) What do you mean I'm not Ryoko?! I've never seen you before in my life... (slaps self on head) Baka! I forgot. What? (points at Aeka) That's TV Aeka. Oh! No wonder. What do you mean by TV Aeka? Well... (Comes out of hiding and blinks.) Ayeka, darl'n? (Gets up and brushes herself off. She glares at Davner.) Well, well, well. You have *a lot* of explaining to do. (Snickers.) Looks like someone's in serious shit. (Grins and nods.) Er...well....You see, darl'n.... (Crosses arms over her chest.) Give me one good reason why I should forgive you. (Thinks. He grabs Ayeka and kisses her.) (Blinks in shock.) Damn... (Takes out a stopwatch and begins timing them.) (Releases Ayeka, who slaps him across the face.) (Straightens her kimono.) You're forgiven. (Frowns.) I have to learn how he does that... I'd rather see Tenchi learn how he does that. Well, if we're all done with that. We can move get started. This isn't a conjugal visit, ya know. IT'S FIC TIME!!! (Buries their heads in their hands.) INTO THE THEATRE!! (Cast enters theatre. Seating order from left to right is Ryoko, Cavis, Afura, Davner, and Ayeka. Fic begins.) This is not my first lemon fanfic, Oh great! Mom let Nobuyuki pick out the fic again! (Shakes head sadly.) but this is my first to go on Mr. GenSao's page and I hope you enjoy it. Who the hell is GenSao? (Shrugs.) As you know, Tenchi Muyo! Is copyright Pioneer LDCA and AIC, and this fic is copyright me, Chibi Washu-chan, MOM WROTE THIS!!?? Mom? I don't recall Miss Washu ever mentioning having a daughter... (Hands Aeka a copy of Tenchi Muyo! Ultimate Edition) There's a dvd player in the back. I think you need to take a look at this. (Gets up and walks towards the back of the theatre) Alright... Hey! How come she gets to get out of reading this fic with us? Don't worry. The dvd booth is running on a different time speed then our current time.She should be done... oh... (exits booth) Yes! There is a universe where I can still win Tenchi! Hey! Oh... sorry Davner... I didn't mean it like it sounded. (Leans forward and kisses Davner's forehead. Looks up at Ryoko and mutters.) Your ass is grass... (glares at Ayeka) if you are underage and reading this, it's not my problem, now is it? Oh, yeah. *That'll* hold up in court... Secondly, the characters Sachiko, Rumiko, and Izaka can be found in my fic, "No Need For More Visitors", soon to come in the Regular fic section of Mr. GenSao's page. So let me get this straight... he's writing a lemon involving characters that will appearin a fic that is not even released yet... Usually the sex comes later on in the storyline, but this guy's starting off right away with the good stuff! (Looks furiously at Davner) (gulps) Um... you didn't bring *it* with you? Did you? (Blinks and hides a whip behind her back.) Bring what? (Cackles.) (mischevous smile) Boy you are *so* screwed. No Need For Sneaking --- How about no need for reading? Come on, darl'n, let's get out here before it gets weird again. (Davner and Ayeka get up to leave. A steel door slams down over the exit.) Or...maybe we won't. (Sits down again.) =^_^= ACK! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!? Oh no! He's involving Ryo-Ohki in the lemon! Not bestiality! Sachiko sighed, and lay back on her bed. It was now nighttime outside, and Ryoko and Tenchi were in Tenchi's room cuddling, Yes!!!!!!! I win again! (sticks out tongue at Aeka) (stands up furiously) I'm going to so hurt you! Ayeka, calm down! If Ryoko is cuddling, then this fic is already way out of character. Damnit! Tell me, Ms....Um.... OAV RYoko... Yes, of course, but how close are you and Tenchi in real life, hmmm? (Glomps Davner.) (Sniffles.) That was kinda cold, darl'n.... Davner, I'm talking. (Shuts up.) now that Ayeka was away. (mischevous smile) Now Ayeka, don't you know me and Tenchi do this *all* the time when you aren't around? (blood vessel bursting) (immitating Tenchi) Oh Ryoko! Please give it to me! That ice princess could never pleaseme like you can! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (Attempts to lunge at Ryoko.) (holding onto Ayeka) Calm down! Calm down! Occasionally, she heard Tenchi's cries of frustration and the usual "Get off, Ryoko!" (sniffles) Why Tenchi! What is so wrong with me?! Besides your looks? (begins to get angry) And your stupidity? (back away slowly) And your voice? (leaps out of seat) Alright that's it! You and me sister! Right now! Run for it! (leaps out of seat) Let's go! Ayeka! This isn't a... (shoves Davner> Out of my way.(several small explosions can be seen between Ryoko and Ayeka. Suddenly, Ayeka is sent flying intothe wall) (confused) I... I just tapped her... (walks over to Ayeka) I tried to warn you. (picking up Ayeka) The OVA characters are muchmore powerful then the ones in your universe. (head spinning) Owe... (sighing) Well, I hope you two are done with that for now. So I expect you to behave fromnow on! (disgruntled look) Fine... Did anyone catch the number of that spaceship? She's fine with it. Okay, pause the fic. Davner, you oughta go get her some ice. (appears on screen) Oh no! You're not getting out of here that easy! But she needs ice! (sighs) Fine! (pulls lever and a giant ice cube drops from the ceiling, crushing Ryoko underneath) There you go! Have fun! (Chips some ice away, places it in a handkerchief, and applies it to Ayeka's forehead.) Oh...it hurts... Somebody...help....me.....Crushed....Ice.........Help.(Hole is carved through the block. Ryoko climbs up through the top of the ice block.) (puts down blow torch) You ok? (shakes self off) I AM GOING TO KILL HER! Oh, Davner....It's getting darker...I'm so cold... (Shivering and blue.) Oh quit milk'n it! SHUT YOUR FACE!!! Oh Davner...hold me, please... (eyes Ryoko) Excuse me Miss "I can survive in the vaccum of space." (stops shivering) Well... um... and then Ryoko would say, "Awwww, c'mon, Tenchi!", and the whole night was nothing but. Washu was away, locked up in her lab, working on some genius experiment, and Sasami and Mihoshi were out enjoying the night, soon to return...hopefully. Because the sooner they get back, the sooner this fic ends! Enjoying the night? You mean like....a date? (Blinks) OH JEEZ, THAT'S DISGUSTING! An indirect Sasami lemon....I think I might throw up. (cries) How can they do this to her! My sisster is the most innocent person on this planet! Why do they insist on makeing her a sex freak! Yeah, I've never understood that. Everyone knows Tsunami's the hot one. (*CRACK!!*) (Rubs his cheek.) Nice to have you back, darl'n.... As Tenchi protested yet again, Sachiko began to get frustrated herself, (immitates Sachiko) Hey! Either you two get it on or stop teasing me! I can go watchSkinemax if you two aren't going to do something! and she waited for the next cry...but it never came. Curious, she crept out of the room and down the hall, creeping around the doorframe and peeking in. She saw Jesus! (immitating preacher) Oh lord! Thank you for saving this wretched hentai soul and clensing him with your eternal light! Can I get an amen brothers and sisters! Amen! Ryoko and Tenchi, on the floor, deep into a kiss, much like that Rumiko and Izaka might have been doing. As she watched, her curiosity rose. Someone needs to give her the talk apparantly. (shakes head) It ain't going to be those two either. Hey! (hands Afura a packet of paper) That's from Soun's lawyer. (looks at documents) Nani?! He's suing us for what happened to Kasumi!? (nods) Apparantly the Tendos went out to dinner at a sushi restaurant and... well... the rest is a very sad story. What happen? Let's just say... well... if Ryoga ever finds what's left of Akane he's going to find some way to get up here, and then you two are goners. (gulps) Ryoko straddled Tenchi's waist, and from the angle they were at, Sachiko could see them, but they couldn't see her. Thank Ra-shama, OH GREAT RA SHAMA! AH UMMMMMMMM.....AH UMMMMMMMMM! (Begins chanting in spooky ancient language.) Bring forth the sacrifice! Yes! The sacrifice! (Grabs Davner.) ACK! OH GREAT RA SHAMA! GIVE US YOUR BLESSING AS I BREAK THIS HENTAI'S SPINE! Oh crap! This is gonna hurt isn't it!? (Uses powers to float Davner down.) (Blinks in shock.) Thank you, darl'n. Sachiko thought. As Tenchi stared on, visibly frightened, Ryoko ran her hands down his chest and over his legs, smiling lovingly, hoping to get Tenchi "in the mood" supposedly. Fine, get him...(Makes quotes with her fingers.) "In the mood." But get us...(Makes quotes again.) "Out of here." She unfastened his pants, and slid them down far enough so that she could see his manhood trying to get out, the bulge in his underwear exciting her. Bulge? (Looks to one another and begin to laugh hysterically.) "Bulge!" (Continues laughing.) "Bump," would be closer! (Laughs.) Hey! Um...Not that I would know or anything... !? Oh sure. Like a certain princess wasn't sneaking into the onsen to peak. HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW THAT!? (Shrugs.) Caught my Ayeka doing it once. It also excited Sachiko, but being of a truly decent nature, she fought it off, and watched. Yes! I understand this! It's "decent nature" to spy on two people having sex, butit's not decent nature to be excited by it! Defeating the entire purpose of spying on the people in question. So... why isn't sheleaving so the fic can end? Ryoko also slid his underwear down, and Tenchi's manhood poked out, sticking straight up, enticing the cyan-haired beauty. Looks like the Tenchi-ken's finally going to be stuck through the evil demon, doesn't it hun? (furious look) Sachiko slid back around the doorframe and out into the wall, laying up against the wall, sighing and placing a hand over her chest. Ohhh, she thought, such a feeling...and I bet they don't even know I'm here! If there's a god in heaven she'll use that little advantage to sneak up behind them and kill them both. HEY! (Does shower theme from Psycho and hacks at the screen with a fake knife.) Sachiko then heard Ryoko moan, a muffled moan, and an image flooded her mind. To prove it was real, she closed her eyes and telepathically peered into the room. In her mind the image of Ryoko formed, her mouth engulfing Tenchi's manhood completely, sucking on it happily. Tenchi had his eyes closed tight, groaning, his hands massaging the back of Ryoko's head. (Imitates Australian crocodile hunter.) The wald Ryokobeast is seen heeyah being groomed by har mate. The Tenchibeast will pluck the ticks fraum his mate's head and eat tham wit gusto! That's sick, Ryoko. (Nods.) Ewww.... Yet probably more accurate then we would all care to admit... Sachiko opened her eyes and again was struck by the massive feeling. Such an image deserved such action... TO THE BATMOBILE!!! (Hums Batman theme.) she thought, and ran a hand down her chest and over her thighs, slowly and delicately feeling her pussy through the material of her pants, and found it to be very wet. Her eyes narrowed, and she sighed. (immitating Sachiko) In the toilet.... gotta remember to go in the toilet... He's exciting me...she thought, Rumiko would laugh if she ever found out. And so would Izaka, I'd wager. And if we knew who those people are, that would mean something. (looks at reader) And thus, current and future fic writers of the world, we learntoday why it is important to write the fic that establishes the characters *before* writing the mindless lemon based on said characters. (Nods.) It's just common courtesy. Sachiko snapped back into reality to the sound of Ryoko gasping out Tenchi's name, then her loud whine. Again, she searched her the telepathic image of the room, and found herself looking at Ryoko, totally naked, riding Tenchi as if it would be her only chance to do so, grinding herself onto him harshly, causing her to whine out. Oh, please! Who would actually get turned on by this? (Looks over and sees Davner and Ayeka necking.) HEY, YOU TWO! CUT IT OUT!! (Davner and Ayeka separate.) (clears his throat.) I don't know what your're talking about... Really! You should mind your own business. Sachiko whined out herself, and caught herself, slapping a hand over her mouth. Ryoko's whining and Tenchi's groaning stopped, and after a silence, Ryoko's chuckle echoed through the air. I finally got it on with Tenchi! GRRRRR Don't celebrate too quickly, Ryoko. The author is bound to ruin it somehow. (starts praying) Please don't ruin it. Please don't ruin it... "Someone's a bit of a sneak," Ryoko said. And a perv... And a sicko... And a weirdo... And a hentai... Hey! What's wrong with being a sneak? (Stares at him.) Um...not that I ever... (Grabs him by the ear.) I HAVE TO WATCH YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND, DON'T I!? Sachiko closed her eyes and hoped this was all a dream. It's not. (Sighs.) We wish it were... Wait. It wasn't, she knew that. Told ya. (Sighs.) When she opened her eyes, she dropped her hand away from her mouth and sat there...waiting... "Come on in, Sachiko," Ryoko called. (immitating Ryoko) I know you were the one to steal that last slice of pizza I left in the fridge last night! You better 'fess up! Damnit! Sachiko thought. "Or do I have to come get you?" (Imitates Australian crocodile hunter.) When honting wald hentai, you maust forst lure them to yo' room by having wild, freakish sex with yo' bowyfriend. He's not your boyfriend!!! Oh... that's why I'm the one having wild freaky sex with him right now! AHHHHHHH!!!! (holds onto Ayeka) We don't want a repeat of last time! Besides... we get to have wild freaky sex too, don't we? (frowns) And if you ever mention it in public again that'll be the last time! Sachiko crawled around the doorframe and peered in. There sat Ryoko, Tenchi's manhood still buried deep inside her, grinning wickedly at Sachiko. Tenchi smiled as well, arms outstretched, a look of eternal happiness upon his face. (Grins at Ayeka.) And just *who* put that look of eternal happiness on his face? The way this fic is going, it'll turn out to be Sasami... SHUT IT!! "C'mere, Sachi-chan." Ryoko called, and Sachiko felt the urge to obey, crawling her way to Ryoko. As she got there, she was greeted by Ryoko's loving hand, which caressed its way down the side of her face and around to her chin, then back up to her cheek--and she was slapped. You hit everyone, don't you? Noooooooooooooo.....I don't hit Tenchi. (Leans toward Ayeka.) Not unless he asks *real* nice... (Lunges at Ryoko but is snared by Davner.) Easy, Darl'n! (whispers to Ayeka) Besides, I'm not the one hiding atleast three or four animals'worth of leather in her closet. (Turns red.) (Blinks.) I really don't want to know, do I? I certainly wouldn't ask... Sachiko winced, and a red tint appeared on that cheek as she brought her head back up to face Ryoko, lips curled back into a snarl. "You can't just sit there and listen to me fuck Tenchi, You tell her! you have to join in." (Facefaults) "But, I...I was only curious as to why Tenchi wasn't yelling anymore..." That would be the tranquilizers. (glares at Ayeka) "I calmed him. But still, you were listening to me." (Laughs.) Yeah! Like if I had Tenchi in *that* position, he'd be anywhere *near* calm! Maybe you're just that dull... (Jumps up and powers up.) WANNA SEE HOW DULL I AM!? (Jumps up and powers up.) STOP 'EM!! QUICK!! (Cavis and Davner managed to pull Ryoko and Ayeka apart.) "Yes, well, I..." Ryoko lifted herself off of Tenchi, his manhood sliding out of her which a slurching sound, ACK! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! Just what is a slurch? It's kinda like this: *Sluuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrccccchhhhhh* (Pukes into a buckent.) and she sat on her knees in front of Sachiko, arched back, legs spread apart, revealing Ryoko's extremely wet pussy. Sachiko slapped herself across the face, and Ryoko giggled. (Imitates Ryoko) Hey! It's *my* job to beat you! (Glares.) Would *you* like a beating?! Settle down, you two. You see how utterly violent she is? Shut your face, TV girl! Demon! Whore! (Grins.) You know, the Ryoko in *my* universe sleeps with Tenchi *every single night.* (Sniffles.) I swear, it's impossible to sleep with all the noise coming from the next room... (Sniffle, sniffle.) And the constant screaming. (imitates Tenchi.) Oh, Ryoko! Yes! Yes! (Imitates Ryoko) Oh, man God! Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeeeessss! (Screams and lunges at Ayeka.) RUN!!! (Scream and flee from the room.) (Face appears on screen.) Well, if you too little girls can't behave, I'm just gonna have to *force* you to behave.... (Five minutes later....) Popcorn, Ryoko? (Glares and tries to speak through the gag in her mouth.) Mmm ahhhgg mmmma... (Struggles to break out of Washu's ropes.) (Pops a chocolate covered almond in his mouth and looks over at Ayeka, struggling in her own bonds. He grins and whispers to her.) You know...I kinda like you like this... (Ayeka's eyes go wider and she struggles harder.) Like her how, Davner? (Mutters.) Silent. "G'head, touch it." I dare ya! "Ryoko, no." No, I'll take truth. "What?" Have you ever fantasized about Afura? (Looks at Aeka, who's glaring at him.) Um...er....Pass. "I said...I said..." Sachiko began, but she more she looked over Ryoko's body, she more she felt the urge to touch it, to caress it...to love it. Such an urge was normal in a Tul-Kiratian, since their entire species was half- animal. (Spits up soda and coughs.) Animal? Um....what kind of animal? Fish! Horse! Mmmmmkaaaaa! (Cavis reaches over and pulls the gag out of her mouth.) Monkey! Rkmmmm. (Davner hesitates a moment, but pulls the gag out.) Ryoko! BITCH! WHORE! Here we go again... "Well?" (immitating Sachiko) Well you see I'm really of a "decent nature" and so I'm limited to just voyeurism and masturbation. "I said...nothing. Nothing at all." Sachiko replied, and crawled up to Ryoko, her face brushing against her face, her hands resting on Ryoko's thighs for the moment, and nuzzled Ryoko. Ryoko took Sachiko's hands and slid them down towards her pussy, sliding two fingers of one hand inside, and kissed Sachiko. I knew it! You are a lesbian! (irritated) NO I'M NOT! First Tsunami. Now Sachiko. I'm not! You know... it's not a bad thing being lesbian. I said I'm not! Yes, society is much more accepting of homosexuals these days. Yes, I always tend to not notice when some man comes from behind me and starts takingoff my clothes... (shaking head) I warned you, Tenchi! I warned you dropping out of school would lead to your dumbing down! and slid his manhood up inside her pussy, grabbing her by the waist and bouncing slightly, causing her to bounce and thus, causing Tenchi to involuntarily thrust into her. Yeah, it *looks* involuntary... (Imitates Tenchi.) It was an accident! I didn't mean to have sex with the...girl...animal...whatever... Fish. *Horse.* *Monkey!* Ryoko watched, and giggled, licking Sachiko's neck lovingly, working her hands up her shirt and over her breasts, caressing them. Sachiko whined out and the feeling of Tenchi's manhood driving into her, and at the same time, whined from Ryoko's loving caresses. "Ohhh, G-God, Ryoko...I'm g-gonna..." Vommit! SHUT UP! Tenchi mumbled, (Imitates Tenchi mumbling.) Damn women.... and Ryoko kissed Sachiko deeper, rubbing both her pussy and Tenchi's cock. Tenchi groaned out and came, and soon, his hot cum flowed slowly out of Sachiko's pussy and down his manhood, causing Sachiko to arch back and yell out. Ryoko licked up what excess cum there was, also licking Tenchi's cock while it was still in Sachiko. Making Ryoko's tongue...what? Seven? Eight inches? (turns to Davner. Her tongue darts out and spears a package of chocolate almonds. Davner jumps and shrieks.) Heh heh heh..... Sachiko's chest heaved to regain her breath, her breasts rising and falling in the air rapidly, and Ryoko went back to caressing them, Tenchi holding onto Sachiko from behind still. "Round 2," he said between breaths, *DING!* ADRIENNE!! and slid himself out of Sachiko, only to reposition her. He set her up on her hands and knees, and thrust his cock back into her, causing her to moan. Ryoko sat in front of her, and forced Sachiko's face towards her own pussy, causing Sachiko to lay on her elbows and knees. As Tenchi began thrusting again, this time with more force, Sachiko licked ravenously at Ryoko's dripping pussy, causing Ryoko to whine out and grab onto Sachiko's head. (imitating Ryoko banging Sachiko’s head into the ground) LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND ALONE YOU SHAMELESS AUTHOR CREATED CHARACTER! He’s not your boyfriend! They continued this on again until Tenchi came for the second time, and as soon as Tenchi slid out of Sachiko again, she collapsed. She laid there on the floor, panting and heaving, trying to regain her breath, and Ryoko laid behind her, her hands caressing her breasts slowly. Tenchi laid behind Ryoko, and whispered slowly: (imitating Tenchi) Man two times in the same day! That’s a new record for me! (Mutters) And for you, I bet... Actually, Davner....(Closes her mouth and turns red.) "Hey, I didn't get to finish with you..." Well if you didn’t decide to play around with monkey-girl then you would’ve! Ryoko grinned, and sat up on his lap, Tenchi grabbing her by the thighs and bouncing, causing Ryoko to bounce, and thus--well, you get the idea. Sachiko grinned and watched, tail flicking about rapidly, (Spits up soda and coughs.) Tail? What kind of tail? Fish! Horse! Hey! Whaddya got against tails!? (Looks at Ryoko) That reminds me. I've always wanted to ask. Ryoko, what's with the tail? Yeah, it's never really been explained. (Sighs.) Okay, I'm gonna explain this just once. My tail is actually a...... Transfer Interrupted! Reloading Page! Reposting From Data! ....And that's it. (As one.) Oh! I get it now. (Nods.) Yes, it makes perfect sense. (Nods.) and then advanced up to Ryoko, taking gentle hold of her breasts and caressing them, licking and nibbling at her neck. For the third time, Tenchi came, and Ryoko arched back, yelling out. Sachiko muffled her by kissing her, and the three collapsed down on one another. (imitating Tenchi) Girls… heavy… can’t… breathe… get… off… me… Ryoko sighed, regaining her breath. "You see what you miss when you just sneak around?" she asked, looking at Sachiko. "Yes, I see...oh, that was so good..." "I'm glad you enjoyed it," Ryoko said, grinning. (imitating Ryoko) Because we aren’t giving you a refund if you didn’t bud! Well at least *someone* is enjoying this. Tenchi wrapped an arm each around Sachiko and Ryoko. "I love you both, y'know that?" Love and sex being synonymous, after all... Atleast according to Overfiend... AHHH!!!!! I thought I told you to burn those tapes! I...um...did. Didn't I, Cav? (Looks at Cavis.) (Grins and shakes his head.) I KNEW IT! I'll get you, Darktower. If it takes a thousand years and my last breath...I'll get you... Don’t blame him. You brought this on yourself. But one of the actresses in there sounds so much like you, darl’n. What?! How can you even say that! But she does! Cavis, back me up here! Well, I can’t say I ever watched it so I couldn’t help. The nerve! To suggest that someone with such a lovely voice as myself would partake in such filth! "You mean you'll get rid of Ayeka?" Ryoko asked, excited. (blinks) Uh oh... "No, not yet. I want to tease her a little, make her think I love her, then turn around and fuck you both, right in front of her." WHAT!!?? (Begins to cry.) Oh, Tenchi, how can you be so cruel!? (Holds Ayeka.) It's okay, darl'n... That was just wrong. (Nods.) I can't believe anyone could be so cold... (Looks at Ryoko and glares.) (Looks back at them nervously.) What?! It's not me! I swear! (Cast glares at Ryoko.)Seriously! It's not me! But all throughout this fic you wanted it to be you... (cries) Why?! Why did he have to go and screw it up?! It's just not fair! Tenchi-sama! (sniffles) I know you were an ass to me in Tenchi Forever, but why?! Why do you want to do this to me?! (hands Ayeka hankerchief) Here you go. (glares at Ryoko) I hope you're happy! (crying) I'm not! (pats Ayeka on the back) I'm sure that evil Negishi guy got to him again... that's all. (Latches onto Davner and cries.) That bastard! Won't he ever stop trying to destroy my life!? No. Ryoko and Sachiko both shared a laugh, that is, until they heard: DIE!!!!!!!!! "Ryoko? Tenchi? Sachiko? We're back!" (immitating ?) And we've brought visitors! Say hello to Mr. Bobert, Mr. Masa-ouki, Mr. Anime Nut, Ms. Lesell, and Ms. Lita from the Aeka Fan Club. (In the Tree Room....) Please! It wasn't that bad! (Crying in Davner's shoulder.) Yes it...(sobs.) Was! Into the tree with her! Ryoko! Please! Don't you remember how close we are? (Blinks.) Um....Actually... Please, Ryoko! You told me you loved me! You swore it on Ra-Shama! (Looks at Ryoko in shock.) ..............................................Okay, into the tree you go! (Grabs Sachiko and begins dragging her toward Haruna's tree.) NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! PLEASE, RYOKO!!!! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, EVEN THAT DISGUSTING THING WITH THE POPSICLE YOU WANTED ME TO DO!!! !!!! !!!!! (Sweatdrops and blinks for a minute.) Tell Haruna I said, 'Hi!' NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Ryoko! Wait! (Stops. Cast watches as Davner approaches Sachiko. He turns her around, pulls the waistband on her shorts, and looks down.) Ha! I *knew* it was a fish tail! (Releases waistband. It snaps back into place.) OUCH!! Okay, Ryoko. Tree her. (Screams as Ryoko throws her into the tree.) (In the command center.) (Face is on the main screen.) TA-DAAA! (Points to a computer terminal and transporter pad.) Here it is! Your ticket home! Sweet! Me first! Hold on, Davner. You all have to go at once. Why? In order for this to work, the machine has to channel a great deal of power through a subspace field and into the pad. After it's used, it'll burn out and the subspace field will recycle itself again, making the data I got from Ayeka useless. (Nods cluelessly.) You'll be able to leave in sec. (Holds his hand up.) Hey guys...You hear that? (Davner and Ryoko look around in puzzlement.) The fat lady...she's *singing*. You realize what this means? Yeah... (Embrace and begin jumping up and down.) WE'RE GOING HO-OME! WE'RE GOING HO-OME! WE'RE GOING HO-OME! (sighs.) Soon everything will be back to normal. (Nods.) I'm sorry I was so insulting to you, Afura. That's okay. I understand. I don't know why I was so worried... Um... After all, there was no reason for me to be jealous. ... Why would Davner want a stick figure like you, when he can have me? (Begins to fume.) (Steps up on the pad.) Davner has a taste for the finer things, and the finer things don't include dusty little priestesses, I'm afraid. (Growls.) WE'RE GOING HO-OME! WE'RE GOING HO-OME! WE'RE GOI... (Cavis holds up his hand.) Anyone else feel a breeze? So I'm sorry, Afura. I had no reason whatsoever to feel threatened by you. Don't worry, though, I'm sure once you're back in El Hazard, the men will be lining up to...pray at your temple... (Reaches out and hits the switch on the control panel. Ayeka disappears. The control panel begins to spark.) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rushes up with a fire extinguisher and tries to put the flames out.) (Stares in shock.) (Hands on either side of her head.) This isn't happening! This isn't happening! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! (Mutters.) Bitch... (On screen. Looks at the machine and scratches her head.) Back to the drawing board, I guess. (Cry.) (late at night) Come on, mom! It's bad enough I'm stuck up here, having to read these awful fics. Now Ihad to put up with Ayeka coming up here and not even getting back down. Can't you do me *one* favor? (puppy dog eyes) (sighs) Alright, little Ryoko. But don't ask me for anymore anytime soon! (presses button and Tenchi falls onto the floor) (rubs head) Owe that... Ryoko? (glomps Tenchi) Oh Tenchi! (hands Tenchi copy of No Need for Sneaking) You see this? (speed reads it and feels bloody nose coming on) Um... yeah... Then I know you're capable of it! And Ayeka said the Tenchi in her universe is already sleeping with me! Well... I um... but that's another universe! Yeah yeah, whatever. (starts dragging Tenchi) My bedroom. NOW! Ryoko! Stop it! Oh no! You aren't getting away from me this time...(Tenchi and Ryoko dissapear around the corner, heading towards Ryoko's bedroom as Tenchi continues to protest) (morning) (Comes racing around a corner, barely evading a wind blast.) (Appears around that same corner a minute later, her hair dripping wet and a towel wrapped around her.) YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD, DAVNER!!! (As he races past Cavis, who is sitting at the satellite's kitchen table.) Jeez! Most women would take it as a compliment! (Davner dives into another compartment and locks the door behind him.) (Bangs on the steel door with her fist.) GET OUT HERE YOU GODDAM HENTAI! (From behind the door.) Not by the hair of my chinny chin-chin! (Screams at the door.) YOU CAN'T HIDE IN THERE FOREVER!! (From behind door.) I can try! (sighs) He'll never change...(Ryoko comes walking into the room wearing her robe) 'Morning all! Want me to cook breakfast? (looks puzzled) You... you're offering to cook breakfast? (kisses Cavis on cheek) Yes I am! (looks scared) ... What... what is going on here...(Tenchi walks into the kitchen, wearing a bathrobe, hair out of place, looking like Kagato just beat the crap out of him again) 'Morning... all... (shocked experssions) (cackles evilly as she continues to cook) (Five minutes later) (now dressed) ... It couldn't have happened... (nods) It's... impossible. (hears Ryoko's whistling) ... They wouldn't allow it. What are you guys talking about?(Davner and Afura push Cavis towards Ryoko) Well um... you see... Spit it out! (points towards Tenchi) What happened with him? Nani? Well... did you... do it? (laughs) What do you think?! (screams) Oh my god! It’s the seventh sign! I’m surprised we didn’t wake you with all the noise coming from the room. (puts hands over ears) How could this happen?! How could AIC allow it to happen?! I… I can’t believe you actually got him into the sack… What’s the big surprise? She’s a lot better kisser than Sakuya was… (freezes in horror and drops frying pan) S…A…K…U…Y…A?! Yeah. I still can’t believe I fell for her. I guess the Ryoko in my universe just wasn’t as attractive as you are. Y…O…U…R…U…N…I…V…E…R…S…E?! What… didn’t you notice? (face appears on the video screen) So how did you enjoy your present Little Ryoko? (fires energy blasts at screen) YOU ARE GOING TO DIE MOM!!!! (watches as energy blasts are absorbed by shielding) Did something go wrong? How could you be such a cruel person?! (stares blankly at group) What are you talking about?! You sent Shin Tenchi instead of OVA Tenchi! (blinks) I did not! Ok, why is everyone upset at this… Because you’re a spineless, useless, ass who is a sad version of a character who is already a spineless wimp. Hey! So I made one mistake with Sakuya. That’s right… SAKUYA! *SAKUYA!* (crying uncontrollably) Five-thousand years… I waited *five-thousand* years for this… Congratulations, Washu. You sexually traumatized your daughter. Hush! (checks instruments) Ah… there was a malfunction in the transporter unit caused by the earlier incident with Ayeka… My bad. Must’ve forgot to check the instruments for bugs… (crying) Your bad?! YOUR BAD?!?! (looking nervously) Um… sorry… (looks puzzled) I still don’t see what the problem is… (takes out anti-matter rifle) Wait… you’re the same ass who hurt Ayeka in that series aren’t ya.? (gulps) Um… I… Yugi was pushing me into it… (glares at Tenchi) You got ten seconds to start running… Ryoko! Help me out here! (crying) I did it with Shin Tenchi! (wails uncontrollably) (runs down the hall screaming like a baby) You’re going down Shinto boy! (trying to console Ryoko) There there. A lot of us make mistakes on our first times… (crying) You never had sex with Shin Tenchi though! … Well I guess I can’t really say anything about that. (turns towards Washu) I’m pretty sure you’re a lock for “Worst Mother of the Year” after that move. I… I think I’m going to go until she calms down… (disappears off screen) Just shoot me! Kill me someone! Please! It’s not worth it Ryoko… (gets blasted into the wall by Afura) (blasts Ryoko again) I’m sorry Ryoko… I guess I don’t have enough power for it. (runs down the hall towards the shower) She’ll be in there for awhile… (rubbing head) Could you go check on her? Sure. (walks down hall after Ryoko) (appears on screen laughing maniacally) Oh Cavis! I want you to take a look at this. (looks confused) Um… ok… (small box appears on the table) Oh, tell Afura that I’m very happy for her. (continues to laugh uncontrollably as she disappears off screen). (reads cover) El Hazard : The Alternative World volume 4… Why would Ayeka want me to see this? (walks off to dvd room and exits again a few seconds later) Oh… my… god… Send C&C to... Cav. cav@wpi.edu and to, Thomas "009" Doscher. doscher009@hotmail.com Thanks for reading!