Disclaimer: Okay, Tenchi Muyo is the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC. Kasumi Tendo is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video. LA Blue Sammy is the property of Strikestwice, to whom we would like to say, "Thank you for letting us shred your fic. ^_^ We appreciate it." WARNING! The fic being MST'd is a lemon. If you are under eighteen years of age, please press the back button on your browser. Two Guys, Two Girls, and a Tendo MST La Blue Sammy! See? This ain't so bad. (Glares at him across the table on board Deep Six Nine.) Okay, but it could be worse! (Face appears on screen.) Hello, everyone! (Puts face in his hands.) It's worse... (Glares at Davner.) Good news, guys. I think I may have found a way to get you down. (Cast looks up with hope in their eyes.) Bad news is that it's like searching for a needle in a haystack. I can get the kind of alpha mind patterns neccesary to transport you all to your appropriate dimensions, HOWEVER, this could take awhile. First, I have to get samples of other mind patterns, and I can only do that with people not currenty on the satellite. This means you'll be getting a new temporary guest while I test his, her, or its alpha mind patterns. You follow? .............'Kay. Great. Get ready. (Dimensional hole opens above them, and a young woman falls to the floor. Kasumi Tendo gets up and rubs her head.) Oh, my! Where am I? THANK THE GODS IN THEIR HEAVEN! FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO CAN COOK!! HEY!!! No offense, darl'n's, but your cooking is....well... (Helps Kasumi to her feet.) Atrocious. (Glare at Cavis.) Um....Who are you people? I'm Cavis. This is Davner, Ryoko, and Afura. Um....Hello there. Okay, guys! Fic time! Into the theatre! Wait a second, Mom. What are we watching this time? Let's see... Nobuyuki, what've we got for them? Hold on. I got it here. (blinks.) What happened to Mihoshi? I barred her from the lab along with Ayeka. Yes! But they're watching over closed circuit television. DAMMIT! Here we go! "La Blue Sammy!" (Laughs) With that title, it kinda sounds like a fusion between....OH GOD, NO!!! (Glares at Washu and points at Nobuyuki) I can't believe you let *HIM* pic the fic! (shrugs) Hey, I can waste time picking out fics, or I can work on getting you down. What's it gonna be? (Grumbles.) Good. Now get in the theatre. Oh man... (Cast enters the theatre and sits down. Seating order from left to right is Cavis, Ryoko, Davner, Afura, and Kasumi. Fic starts.) "The author hired me to consult on this story. To prevent him from being sued by an offended party." A man, in a black suit complete to the briefcase, holds out a card reading, "Mr. Lawyer, Lemons and Magical Girl Attorney." I know this guy. He got me out of that parking ticket. "First off since this is a lemon, if you are too young in whichever state, country, or mental ward you live in. Please don't read this story it contains bad sexual humor with little, to no redeeming value." ....yea.... He opens his briefcase and removes a stack of papers. "Please sign here, here, and initial here." (reads papers.) "Quid pro quo...juris prudence...y pluribus *penis*?!" "Ok, on to the next part of the disclaimer this story is a parody mixing of a number of famous and not so famous Anime shows. The most obvious being Pretty Sammy (or heaven forbid we forget that Pioneer renamed it with a magical wave of their baton to Magical Project S) Would that be the same baton they used to rename "Manatsu no Eve" to "Daughter of Darkness?" Probably. Don't forget "Tenchi Muyo in Love 2" from "A Far Away Feeling" to "Tenchi Forever." Well who cares about that one. Both titles sucked anyways, just like the movie. owned by Pioneer and Viz as well as La Blue Girl owned by Anime18. Also thrown in by the author was some Ramna1/2 (Viz video), Vanity Angel (Venus Comics), El Hazard (Pioneer) and Kimagure orange road (ADV and Animego) and maybe a few more keep if your eyes peeled." Noth'n do'in, bud! They can make us watch, but they can't make us pay attention! (rest of cast nods in agreement.) "Well that is about all for the disclaimer. The author also hired me to point out a few key magical girl points, (takes out paper) Rule #1 : All anibabes are bisexual. Rule #2 : all anibabes like to get raped. Rule #3 : All anibabes... (smacks Davner in the head) Baka! Those are the rules for hentai! You sure? They all seem to be bisexuals to me... (Glare at Cavis and power up.) (Ducks down in his seat.) I'M JUST KIDDING!! I'M JUST KIDDING!! so I'll probably pop in from time to time." He stares at you for one second. "By the way if you do happen to run into the author please tell him that the payment for the consultation on this project is over do and that the check is in the mail, is not going to work anymore. He can talk to my bill collectors the Dirty Pair." The Lawyer chuckles "See if anyone ever beats up one of my clients again. To think that they had the gall to attack Lovely Monica. Well now I own them... hahaha. Uh, sorry." Anyone understand a word of that? (cast shakes their heads) Good. La Blue Sammy Episode 1 For Love, Sex, and Justice Isn't that Clarence Thomas's motto? "Happy birthday, Sasami." Misao more whispered Misao more? Don't recall any Japanese families named More... (nods) Maybe it's like a Bond pun. Like "Misao more sex." Jeeze, can we keep the hentai jokes for when the fic actually hits the hentai. to her friend than yelled. As the blue haired teenager stepped out of the red door. Walking down the little sidewalk that marked the path to the gate. Do you get the feeling the author skipped the pre-reading phase? Do you think anyone would volunteer to pre-read this? "Thanks, I'm sorry I'm so late Misao, but Sis was up all night practicing for her next movie. She got some new part on a cheesy cop show." Sasami rolled her eyes and grabbed Misao's hand as they exited the fenced in lawn. Glancing left and right she drew Misao into a quick kiss. Before dashing off down the street pulling her friend behind her. My...how sweet. They're such good friends. (Rest of cast looks at her in astonishment.) Oh jeez...This is gonna be trouble. I can tell already. They briskly passed streets filled with cheery trees and pedestrians. (singing) "When the cherry blossom starts to bloom..." Hey that's *my* song! And besides, this is based on La Blue Girl, which has absolutely nothing to do with love. Then what does it have to do with? ... This isn't going to go well. After just a few block the same streets were crowded with peers and friends as everyone hurried towards the two schools set side by side Ryokirin Boys Academy and Kawai Girls School. So only cute girls get into that school? And I thought Americans were prejiduced. A very smart man runs that school. Sasami cheerfully waving at her friends, towing Misao into the herd of students. Her heart stopped along with the rest of her body. OH NO! The tentacles are already coming! Woah, calm down Ryoko. They're not here yet. (looks confused) Tentacles? (whistle innocently) At the sight of a black haired pony tail in front of her. With out Sasami's forward movement, Misao crashed into the brightly blue haired girl causing them both to fall onto the ground. "You saw Tenchi again didn't you." (immitating Sasami) No, I saw Brad Pitt. Why would Tenchi ever get that reaction out of me? What are you saying about Tenchi?! Well... Dav, if you enjoy breathing, I suggest you don't continue. Misao's jealously hissed in Sasami's ear. (immitating Misao) I want to get tentacle raped by Tenchi too! Tentacle raped? (whacks Dav over the head with the mystical hentai mallet) Watch it... Would someone please explain this to me? Um... well... (rubs back of his head) It's um... Kasumi darl'n... you see... ... Um... ... You people are strange. While Sasami busily warded off helpful hands up from her friends. "He's such a prince." No, he's the artist formerly known as Tenchi. She said dreamily failing to notice Misao's jealousy. Pulling herself and Misao onto their feet Sasami dusted off her school uniform. The spring summer version with mini skirt white blouse and blue jacket decorated with the schools insignia of a white rose. I'm getting very wierd Utena flashbacks. I wonder if Chu-Chu will show up here next. Well atleast this story and Utena both have les... (glares at Dav) Don't finish that statement. Grabbing up her book bag she began once again to tow Misao through the remaining students. Hurrying towards the school grounds. *** "Stand up, bow." Yelled Eimi, the class leader of 10-2, as homeroom began once again. "Hi, class." Ms. Mihoshi said. "Is everyone here today." Unfortunately so, it would seem... She told the crowd inanely, before calling the students names and making the correct notation as to there status. (immitating Mihoshi) Straight, straight, bi, bi, lesbian, bi, straight, bestiality... Now now Ryoko, you got it all wrong. In hentai, the females are into *anything* related to sex. There is no such thing as a straight woman in hentai. (eyes Davner) Exactly how much hentai have you seen? Well... not much really... Uh huh. That would explain why you always use up all our money everytime there's a new release. What's a hentai? That's what Dav is. Hey! Also known as an ecchi. Now hold on... Or simply just a pervert. I don't get it at all. (folds arms and falls back into his seat) You know I can feel the love from all of yas. "Well now that's done, we need to come up with something for the upcoming class festival." She nodded to the class president giving up the floor. "Listen up people. We are so... behind schedule. Class 10-3 has already begun construction on the set for their play and we still haven't even got an idea for what we are going to do." *Anything* but a talent show. Please not a talent show. Eimi yelled at the rest of the students seeming to stare at Misao and Sasami in the front row. A hand raised in the back and she nodded towards it. "If my calculations are correct, I think that Ninety-eight percent of the people who read this fic will have muderous tendencies towards the author. What's the other two percent? Noboyuki. And here I thought the man atleast had standards... I cam make a stable portal to another dimension. Which would be just great for the student festival." A brown haired girl told Emi. "Um, thanks Ms. Mizuhara... do we have any *reasonable* suggestions." What was so unreasonable about that? Hey, Afura. Does Makoto have a sister? No. But he *is* rather...er...feminine. "How about we build a Nazi bar, dress up in authentic clothing, and put a tank in the back." "On the second floor! Come on people, think." "I say we do a live magical girl show." A girl in the back yelled, before continuing to scribble out a fan fic. "Any better ideas." Crickets chirped in the back ground. (Stomps at the ground near his feet. Crickets stop chirping.) "Anyone please." She pleaded at the rest of the students. A tumble weed slowly rolled through the room. "Okay were doing a magical girl show." But now we're going to do something good instead! Let's set our school on fire!! Yea!! Ryoko, you just love blowing up those schools don't you? (shrugs) I get lots of fan mail for it. Dead silence greeted the announcement as girls shifted in their seats. *Somehow I just know that I'll end up as the leed.* Sasami thought shifting uneasily in her seat. Conceited bitch... (Glares at her.) Hey! That's still Sasami-chan up there! Watch it! A magical girl show! How exciting. (groans.) *** "Yes Sis, sure I understand. I guess that me and Misao will go to the library after gymnastics." Sasami paused listening to her sister. "No I understand its your big rape scene and you can't come home for my birthday." She paused again. "Friday sounds fine. I'm looking forward to it, Aeka." Pause. "Love you to, bye." Aeka's doing a rape scene?! (Laughs) You're kidding me!? *Aeka*?! "Sasami, don't worry." Misao kissed Sasami lightly on her lips. "I've got a very special present for you tonight." A gift! How wonderful! Ten dollars says Kasumi has a coronary and dies before the end of this fic. Done. Sasami giggled and pulled the other girl into her. "I'm looking forward to it." She said huskily hugging her friend tightly. *** "Damm, Ms. Kiyone really worked us today she is such a perfectionist. Which explains why she gets along with Mihoshi so well. She had me up on the balance beam for an hour." Sasami shoved a vaulting board towards the storage room assisted by Misao. "You were gorgeous on the balance beam." Misao pulled the piece of equipment breathing heavily. (immitating Misao) Oh yes! Mr. equipment please do it faster! And they say *I'm* the hentai.. The storage of the equipment was actually her job as club president. As well as stats of the athletes Oh I'm sure she just *loves* that job. I'm glad I don't go to that school. Actually, if this is based on Pretty Sammy you *might* be in that school. ARGH! I feel violated... and cleaning of the gym so that the athletes could go home after a hard days workout. But no one would have been surprised to see the two of them together pushing the equipment, they had been inseparable since kindergarten. Gack! I knew this guy would fit pedophelia in here somehow. "And..." Sasami asked as the spring board finally arrived at its designated place. Misao looked up at her miserable. "Come on say it." Sasami said gazing frankly back into her friends eyes, knowing how much she enjoyed this type of foreplay. Foreplay? Oh no...Please no! Don't! "No, please don't make me, mistress." (immitating Misao) Don't make me engage in foreplay! I want to skip to the real action. (extremely confused) What do you mean by real action, Mr. Cavis? Um... well.. I meant the real competition instead of the practice... Oh... Nice recovery. (sarcasm) Misao said backing away from Sasami into a wall. She started breathing hard as Sasami cornered her smiling with a lusty grin. Rubbing her body against Misao's before grabbing up a wad of her hair. Yanking it back, Sasami forced Misao's head back and exposed her throat. "You know what I want to hear." Sasami told her watching tears form in Misao eyes and gently licking them away. Hoping that this little pain would be enough for Misao. ? "Mistress, please." She pulled the hair even tighter forcing Misao to her knees. "I... got... " whisper "wet seeing you on the balance beam." Sasami yanked Misao's hair to the side throwing her to the ground on her right arm. *I hope that is enough for her.* She thought staring down at her friend. "That is my good little slave. Now you have a present for me." Misao ducked her head and pulled something out of her pocket handing it to Sasami. At first Sasami thought it was a long cat's collar until she read the inscription on the I.D. plate. "Property of Mistress Sasami." Misao blushed a bright red at Sasami's feet. *I wonder where she got up the courage to buy it.* Um...What's going on? (Looks at Kasumi) Uh oh. I think we have a problem. Stop the fic! (Fic pauses.) Ryoko, Afura, I think you're gonna have to take Kasumi into the back room and give her..."The Talk." Pardon? You know..."THE TALK." (Afura and Ryoko look to each other.) Well, all right. If you think it'll help. We don't want to traumatize the poor girl. Okay, okay, leave it to us. Come on, Kasumi. We need to talk to you. Well, all right. (Turns to Davner.) Beer run? (Nods.) Beer run. (Cast exits theatre.) (Cavis and Davner are in the kitchen area drinking beers a few hours later when Afura and Ryoko come in followed by a very nervous, and jittery Kasumi.) (Blinks) Hello, darl'n's. How'd it go? Great! No problem! (Points at Kasumi) Then what's wrong with Kasumi? Um...well... You see, some of her questions were rather...well... embarrassing... Translation: You didn't know the answers. SHUT YOUR FACE!!! Anyway, we decided a sex ed movie might help. Sex ed movie? We had Washu send up some stuff from Nobuyuki's collection. ! ! So...what you're saying is that the only things Kasumi knows about sex is what she's seen in LA Blue Girl, Overfiend, and Demon Beast Invasion? !!! !!! (Look to each other.) Uh....oh.... (Reaches out to Kasumi> Kasumi, darl'n? (Screams.) DON'T TOUCH ME!!!! Congragulations, girls, you've sexually traumatized Kasumi. I hope you're proud of yourselves... Hey! Yeah! It's not our fault! Then who's fault is it?! Look at her! She's scared out of her mind! (Sarcastically) Well, gee, Dav, why didn't you handle it personally, if we're so stupid!? Why don't you take her into the back and make her a woman?! That's not funny! What?! Look, even I respect the fact that there are certain female characters that are off limits. Sasami is on top of that list. Kasumi is a *very* close second. (Looks at theatre door.) Some people simply have no respect for proper anime tradition anymore... (Face appears on the monitor.) Hey! You're holding up my research! Get back in the theatre! (Cast reenters theatre.) "Put it on." She said holding the collar out to Misao who almost reverently fastened it around her neck. Then flicked her head back to give Sasami a good look at it. "Hmmm... I can't quite see it. Well then, you should take some advice from Ryo-Ohki and eat more carrots. Slave, take off your clothes I wonder if Sasami needs replacements for the clothes she borrowed from the gym teacher. (glares at Cavis) so I can get a good look at your collar." Misao started to stand up, but was pushed roughly back down by Sasami. "I didn't say you could get up." Continuing to stare at her friend Real friends don't make their friends wear dog collars. (rubs neck) Someone tell Aeka that... Oujosama to Oyoubi accurate? Extremely... until Misao's face was permanently red from blushing. Misao pulled her top off slowly making sure that Sasami had an unobstructed view though at the same time appearing timid and reluctant to undress in front of her. I wonder why. She's just some freaky, dominating psychobitch. Watch your mouth! Sasami impatiently grabbed up Misao's hair again forcing her on to her tip toes and with her right hand began to undress Misao hurriedly her need finally getting the better of her. In seconds Misao stood before Sasami completely naked. "Stay." (tosses a Scooby snack at the screen) Good girl. Sasami ordered her as she walked around her slave admiring how Misao looked with the collar. "I am pleased with your gift, slave." Sasami pushed Misao's hair aside and kissed her on the back of the neck. Slipping a hand down the spine of her back causing Misao to shudder and tense. *Why does she always require so much of this before she's happy.* Yes why do you women always need so much foreplay? (nods) Why can't you just be satisfied with the simpler sides of sex? No, you need foreplay and cuddling and... (sighs) I'll take any of it actually... (moves towards Ryoko) Ok... (blasts Davner into the wall) From Tenchi you baka! Sasami wondered as her hand passed over Misao's rear (immitating Sasami) Damnit, someone needs to show her how to wipe better. Ew... and touched her pussy testing to see how wet Misao was. She should have known, the more that Sasami pushed, pulled, prodded, and humiliated Misao the wetter she got. Misao was already on the verge of cumming. Geeze, she doesn't last long does she. (mumbling) Longer then Ayeka sais you last... Atleast I'm getting some from my loved one. ... (cries) Ooo nice one, Dav. Hey! She started... (whacks Davner with the mallet) Prick. Sasami's hand just remained their gagging her friend as the other hand crawled around Misao's quivering form and latched on to a nipple. Massaging and the twisting in equal measure forcing Misao to twitch slightly. "Stay." Sasami warned waiting for just the right moment continuing her ministration on the nipple until she felt Misao shudder in just the right way. Forcing her fingers as far as they would go into Misao's cunt she felt her orgasm. Sasami smile! Oh god! (runs out of the theatre, her hand over her mouth. Retching can be heard from outside.) I don't want to watch...yet I cannot look away. My mommy says there are no monsters, no real ones, but there are, aren't there, Cav? (Nods) Yeah, Dav, and its name is STRIKESTWICE! (Mouth gapes open in astonishment.) I'm....gonna go get some popcorn. (gets up and starts for the exit.) Good idea. I'll go with you! (Gets up and follows Afura.) Um....you guys know what kind of candy I like, right? No? Then I had better come along. (Gets up and follows. Kasumi sits in her chair staring up at the screen. Cavis turns and gently pulls her out of her seat.) C'mon. You too. Let's go. (Cavis walks back into theatre for a moment) (Points to reader) Hey! You too! Come on! We don't want this fic screwing you up any more than you already are! Let's go! d delighted that she had been able to do this for her friend. Knowing that if she had been standing in front instead of behind Misao she would have been forced to be angry. "Did you just come. Without even pleasing your Mistress. But I might forgive you." Sasami turned Misao around forcefully pushing her to her knees. "If you please me." "Yes, Mistress." Misao pushed Sasami's leotard to one side using only her mouth and poked her tongue into Sasami's clit. Sasami moaned slightly at the intrusion. With out any real thought her fingers started to rub her nipples through the thin fabric causing them to stick out in little pointed nubs visible through the cloth. Sasami buried her other hand into Misao's hair guiding her. Gasping ever so slightly as the pressure that had been building in her since she had felt Misao's eyes on her during the practice on the balance beam, began to build. Misao slowly started to circle Sasami's clit with her tongue causing her to buck just a bit and her breath to catch. Sasami closed her eyes enjoying the feelings coursing through her body and shivering with every sensation. She felt Misao's hand wrap around her and anticipated the next feeling. But even Misao knew how to torment her pausing she looked up at Sasami. "Mistress, am I pleasing you." The girl asked looking up ! at the closed eyes of her lover. "Continue." She huskily moaned forcing Misao's head back against her hips with her hand. Not even bothering to open her eyes. Once again she felt the pleasure building up inside of her as Misao latched her tongue around Sasami's clit and forced a finger into her ass at the same time. Sasami bucked wildly filling Misao's mouth full of cum as she finally came. Reaching down she pulled Misao up from the ground and passionately kissed her tasting her own juices and the love of her friend. (Cast is assembled in the kitchen.) Holy shit... No kidding. Okay. Calm and rational. Calm and rational. I am going to find the author of this fic.....and then I am going to *murder* him. Kinda extreme, ain't it, darl'n? You can't possibly tell me you like it! 'Course not. I'm just saying it's not worth doing time in Riker's Island over. Well, the fic is...bizarre, we still can't get down from here, and I think Kasumi might be brain dead... (Humming and clattering can be heard from the kitchen.) (sniffs the air.) Hey, that smells pretty good. Okay! Dinner's ready! SWEET! FOOD! (hops up and darts for the cooking area.) (Shakes head.) (Face appears on the screen.) HEY!! BACK IN THE THEATRE!! (Shakes fist at screen.) DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!! *** (Cast reenters theatre. Davner is munching on a Kasumi-made crab puff.) Sasami waved goodbye to Misao. Her face still flushed from the pleasure received and given earlier. Walking slowly home, enjoying the freshness of the night air. She was finally sixteen And the author thinks her being older is going to make up for that last scene... and for some reason everything seemed new and different today. Her eyes were alive soaking up the world around her. Sasami was happy, radiantly smiling at the world as a whole. I think the author meant "whore" instead of "whole." Hey watch it! That's still... (takes Ryoko's arm, shaking his head) No, Ryoko. That's not Sasami anymore. That's some evil clone of her or something. We have to kill it! BURN HER!! BURN HER!! (Looks at Kasumi, then leans over to Ryoko.) She doesn't have anything sharp on her, does she? Winding around streets that let the longest way home, she enjoyed life and her new found appreciation for it. I think I've heard this rant somewhere before....That's right! I read it in a Penthouse letter... When she finally got home, Sasami was surprised to see that the lights were on already. *I thought Sis said she would be shooting till after two tonight.* Shrugging she opened the door to the house and walked in. "I'm home." She called out kicking off her shoes and putting a pair of house slippers with little rabbits at the toes on. Kill the rabbits! (sweatdrops) "Hi Sasami." A blue hair young woman said appearing before her. She was just about Sasami's height with the exact same color hair made up in a pair of long pony tails that almost reached the floor. Behind her another woman appeared slightly taller with hair a green almost cyan that was sticking up at odd angles. Oh God, please, no! Well, at least the perv had the common goddamn courtesy to put Tsunami in this lemon. It's about time *someone* did. (Nods.) "Its me your mom, Tsunami." No that's not true! That's impossible! (In low Vader voice) Search your feelings, you know it to be true! NO!! NO!!! I never knew Tsunami was a deadbeat mom. Sweat drop. "Um... excuse me, but I really must be going right now." Sasami said slipping the slippers off and putting her shoes back on. Slowly turning around and walking towards the door as the cyan haired woman teleported in front of her. (immitating Ryoko) Help me get out of this extremely bad fic. (immitating Sasami) No way. If I'm stuck in here, so are you. Dammit! Giving Sasami a feral grin while floating a few inches off the ground and flicking her tail. Please don't do what I think I'm gonna do! I don't like where this is heading... I think I'm aroused.... (Ryoko and Afura both blast Davner into a wall.) "Why don't you sit down, Sasami. There is so much I want to tell you." The one who called herself Tsunami grabbed Sasami's arm and dragged her into the family room sitting herself down on the chair across from the couch. But not before she had seen Sasami sit on the couch it self. The whole time her eyes stared at Sasami, burning her image into Tsunami's mind. Once Tsunami had sat down, the cyan hair woman who Sasami finally noticed was floating stood behind Tsunami and rested her hands on the other woman's shoulders. (immitating Ryoko) I am going to *so* kill you for this. Hey! Now don't take your frustrations towards the author out on Tsunami. That's right... take them out on Davner. Hey wait... (blasts Davner into the wall) Thanks for the suggestion. (in cumpled heap) You're out of my will, Cav. "You do have a picture of me somewhere, right." (Imitates Sasami) Yeah, but you're naked. Tsunami asked. Settling herself in the chair and giving a fond look up at the other woman when the hands settled on her shoulders. I didn't know you were Tsunami's bitch. I AM NOT TSUNAMI'S BITCH! According to this author you are. Well... that or she's your bitch. Sis always sais Shampoo's her bitch. ! ... Well... that changes the whole outlook on that show now doesn't it. Well I always knew Akane was... a bit of a... Afura, let's just try to forget this was ever mentioned. I never said it was Akane. ! "All of my pictures, of my mom were destroyed a long time ago. But I do know that you are way to young to be her. She would be in her forties at least, and you are maybe in your late twenties." Now we all know by Tenchi dynamics that's not necessarily true. (nods) Take Ryoko, who's five-thousand... (blasts Davner into the wall) TWO-THOUSAND!!! GET IT RIGHT!!! "Late twenties I'll have you know that I haven't aged since I was 22 and that was over 300 years ago." My, aren't we touchy about it. Yeah, well, you know. Women hit the big three-oh-oh, and all of a sudden, they're worried about their looks. Pig... The woman said leaning closer to Sasami. "We of the Jurai-Helm clan are the protectors and guardians of the Shinma a race of demons. Many years ago I was given that mission and now it is your turn. To stop there overpowering sexual energy from being used on humans." (Imitates Tsunami) These demons appear in the form of producers, high school football players, (glares at Davner) AND SICK, PERVERTED, TWISTED, IMMATURE PIRATES LIKE YOU!! ........Ouch. "I'm here to give you a birthday present." She held her hand out level to the floor. "Appear!" A flash of light and an odd baton was hanging in the air. Carved of wood, devoid of color, and about two and a half feet long with a small heart ingrained at the center. Two rows of 5 black beads an inch in diameter each dangled from the heart. She pushed both ends of the wooden baton showing how flexible it was for wood able to turn a full 180 degrees (put hands over crotches) OUCH! "as good as any mans penis and much more flexible." And it doesn't give out after forty-five seconds. And how would you know? ... (cries) (takes the mallet and whaps Davner in the head) My god! You just won't stop, will ya?! (rubs head) What is with you girls?! You start it and then... Dav, buddy ol' pal. They're right. We're wrong. Learn it, live it, love it, and get used to it. (Moves closer to Afura) I'm sorry, Darl'n. If you like.... we can fix that... (Blast Davner to the wall.) She stared hard at the other woman behind her. She tried to hand the baton to Sasami, who was edging toward the door. "Sasami, where do you think you are going." The cyan hair woman asked in a stiff voice. RUN SASAMI! RUN! "Just to use the bathroom... he he, uh I guess it can wait." NO IT CAN'T!!!! She hurriedly sat back down on the couch under the stares of the two woman. (immitating Ryoko) Watch out! She might call the Beareu of Good Taste on the author. (immitating Tsunami) Ha! The Beareu of Good Taste wasn't able to stop them from releasing Tenchi Forever! They'll never stop us! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! (Shudders) Ugh....Jinnai flashback..... "Now take the baton in your hand and call out *Sexual Magic Change* you will become La Blue Sammy." (immitating Tsunami) Or alternatively, you could call out "Slutty Tree Change" and become Awfully Ugly Tree Whore Haruna. She said trying to give the baton once again to Sasami. "Um... No thanks, you can keep it." Sasami scooted as far away from the thing as allowed by the couch. "Take it." The cyan hair demon ordered. Showing off a large number of teeth including a set of fangs. (bad Dracula immitation) Or I'm going to suck your blood! The way this fic is going you're going to be sucking something... (puts hand over Dav's mouth) I have to watch you every second don't I?! "Uh... Sure." Sasami picked it out of the other women's hands with two fingers and held it away from her body. "Now call out Sexual Magic Change!" Tsunami told Sasami excitedly. "Um... Sexual Candy Change." Sasami said holding the baton away from her trying to think up a good excuse to drop it. Good excuse...hmmm....How about, "IT'S YOUR MOM'S FRIKK'N DILDO!!??" Will that do? "Sexual Magic Change." "Ok... Ok... Sexual Magic Change." Sasami said engulfed in a bright pink light as her clothes tore off Sasami's body. I don't suppose it's possible in anime to have a transformation *not* involving clothes being torn off is it? (takes out book) According to the anime by-laws... no. Well... atleast for females. (sniffles) God bless those perverts who make anime. Black cloth began to rap (begins singing) Stop, collaborate and listen. STOP!!!! There will be no Vanilla Ice sung here. I'd rather listen to the black cloth try to rap. around her body forming into a dark blue almost black leather corset and short skirt. A red ribbon flashed into existence behind her. And the red ribbon fell onto the floor being attached to nothing, and there was great rejoice. Yea... Her hair lengthened and darkened a shade Ah the magical ability of hair in anime to suddenly shift colors without notice. (nods) Like Ryoko's hair in Tenchi Forever. That was the least of my worries in that movie... touching the red ribbon and swirling with every turn of her head. "Um... I hate to bring this up but shouldn't their be a set of panties." Oh....my....god... "No its part of the hentai code. All monsters must have easy access to you... its in there contract." The Lawyer waved a piece of paper at Sasami and then disappeared. (Checks contract.) My God! This is notarized! (Looks at contract over her shoulder.) And approved by the *U.N.*???? "She looks yummy in the outfit." The demon said staring at Sasami and licking her lips. Her evil eyes aglow as she stared at Sasami with a warm hunger. (Looks at Ryoko.) Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, God, what did this guy do to me!? (buries her face in her hands and cries.) "Uh, how do I change back." Sasami jiggled uncomfortably in the outfit. "Hold on one minute. Smile." Tsunami asked as Sasami was blinded by a flash from a camera. "Now all you have to do is just cut to a new scene like this." That way we don't use up our special effects budget too quickly. *** "When a first born daughter of the Juraihelm clan reaches sixteen years of age she receives her mothers baton to fight evil and keep the Shinma sealed from Earth." I'm not sure what's worse : the fact this fic's story is just that lame or the fact they market stuff like this and it sells with plots just that lame. Oh come on, it can't be that bad. Yeah, I mean it has to be better than this. Ryoko, could you hand me that copy of La Blue Girl volume 1 you showed to Kasumi? NO!!!!! (runs out of the theatre screaming) (sighs) Davner could you go fetch her? (gets up from chair) Sure, Cavis. Maybe I can get her to make some more of those crab puffs while I'm at it. Anyways, to quote the description of La Blue Girl volume 1: La Blue Girl 1: It began centuries ago, when the Miroku ninja clan made a deal with forces of the underworld - leading to centuries of struggle between rival clans. And now, after more than 600 years of peace, the denizens of the underworld are about to get a new boss. Miko Mido, an 18-year-old ninja-in-training is suddenly entrusted with the family business - making sure the sex-starved Shikima stay out of humanity's way! But when the rival Suzuka clan steals the signet case that symbolizes the demonic pact, Miko and her older sister, Miyu, become the targets of the most dangerous race of perverts ever to walk the earth. What's a ninja-woman to do? Fight back, with every bit of battle skill and sexual sorcery she can muster! But is Miko strong enough to save Miyu from the clutches of the Shikima on their home turf - the bowels of the underworld? !!! Exactly... exactly how well does this stuff sell? I don't think you really want to know. (Screaming can be heard from outside the theatre) I am not going to rape you! STAY BACK!!!! You know girls, I must once again thank you for the wonderful job you did showing Kasumi the facts of life. (glare at Cavis) Tsunami told her daughter smiling proudly the whole time. "I'll leave the rest of the explanations to your grandmother." (Davner re-enters theatre with Kasumi, him staying as far away from her as possible) That was fun... (sarcasm) Get anymore puffs? No, but I nearly got a few limbs chopped off. (puts butcher's knife under seat) (whispers to Ryoko) Think you could teleport that out of here when she's not looking? (whispers back) Why should I be worried? Not like I'm a man. No, according to this fic you're Tsunami's bitch. (cries uncontrollably) Smooth move Dav ol' boy. Now wait... (blasts Davner into the wall) There there, Ryoko. It'll be ok. Sasami stared at the cyan hair woman incredulously. *This is my grandmother.* "Hey, don't look at me kid." The demon told her. "I'm your mother not your grandmother." (Sing) I'm my own grandmaaaaaaa! I'm my own grandmaaaaaa! "We've gone over this a hundred times Ryoko, you got me pregnant, remember. WHAT!!?? (Looks from side to side.) I swear! I don't even *know* this woman!! I gave birth to her, so I'm the mother. That makes you the father Ryoko." (Buries head in hands and begins to cry.) What did this author do to me!? Well, I'm not up on the specifics, but I'd say he made you a hermaphrodite. "But, I'm a woman." Ryoko told Sasami. "You just had to see how much fun it would be to be a guy and then fucked me for a whole month straight. Did you expect me not to get pregnant or something." (immitating Goldfinger) No Ms. Tsunami, I expected you to die! (eyes Ryoko) You better not be making any moves on me... (in tears) I'm really not attracted to other women! (coughs) TV episode 12... (Cries.) "Hey, you weren't complaining at the time and if I remember correctly you were the one who suggested the idea in the first place. Always complaining how the baton wasn't enough and that you missed a dick." (Pukes into a bucket.) (weeping.) No more! No more! (Cries) Oh God, make it stop! No more! I can't bear to see her like this! Well, let me elaborate. (Points at Ryoko in the theatre chair.) I can't bear to see her like *this*. (Points to the Ryoko on the screen.) I think I kinda like her like *this.* (Pulls blaster and points it at her head. Sniffles.) Don't worry, Ryoko. It'll be over soon. (Sniffle) Quick and painless. I promise! (pushes gun away just as Davner fires, causing him to miss.) Dammit, Dav! Don't be stupid. In an hour the fic will be over and she'll be good as new. Sweatdrop! Sasami decided that now would be a really good time to escape from the two escaped mental patients and sneaked out the door. (still sniffling a bit) NOW?!?! Try several paragraphs ago! While the fight continued on for a good five minutes. "Don't you think she would made a terrible mom. I should be the one you call mom, Sasami." Yeah, you're a fit parent. I can tell. Ryoko turned towards the couch. A number of black lines blinked around where Sasami had sat outlining her former position. "Ryoko could you go find her, I'll make some tea." Tsunami stood and headed towards the kitchen. NO!!!! Don't find her! Run for your life! Run before you're forced to suffer anymore of this. Oh god just run! (starts throwing energy blasts at the screen) (trying to restrain Ryoko) Calm down! It's just a fic! DIE!!!! (picture appears in a small window on the movie screen) Well I'm glad I decided to put a protective energy field up around the movie screen. (grabbing Ryoko's legs) Well that's great Washu, but how the hell do we calm her down?! Oh... well I'd say the best thing to do is just let her do that for a couple more minutes and she should eventually tire a bit. (image dissapeares) (holding onto Ryoko's waist) Gee, thanks a bunch Washu. You're a real help. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! *** (Cast sits back down after finally calming Ryoko down) "Yes, is this the police department." My name is Friday. I carry a badge. Pause. "I would like to report a break in." Pause again. "Yes, they are still in the house..." Crunch. Sasami stared at what had once been a bright green phone. Doing her best to ignore the fact that the cyan haired woman had reached trough the glass with out breaking it. Sasami dashed out of the booth and into the lights of an oncoming car. (screams) No! Not Sasami-chan! YES! The fic can now end! Good move Sasami! Better to die like that then to suffer in the rest of this fic! YES! DIE! Unfortunatly, I somehow doubt she's dead. (sighs) *** Sasami woke up on her futon. Told ya. And you're happy you're right? Actually... no. Still dressed in a school uniform. *It was all a dream.* Something moved outside of her door. *No it can't be, its all a dream.* We've been telling ourselves that since we started this fic. Trust us, it doesn't work. She crawled off her futon and peeked out of the side of the screen. Breathing a sigh of relief and opened the screen all the way. "Hi Sis, how was the shoot." "Oh, Sasami did I wake you up, sorry." Aeka said stepping out of the bathroom dripping, nude except for a towel on her shoulders. (Opens mouth to say something.) (Places blaster at Cavis' head.) One off color remark and I'll blow your brain all over that back wall... (Closes mouth.) "No, how was the shoot." Sasami asked cautiously trying not to stare at her sister. DAMNIT! I knew I smelled Kajishima all over this fic! Kajishima? A very bad man who thinks that sisters and brothers should be in love. Oh, I think it's sweet he thinks that siblings should care for each other. (sweatdrops) Um.... not that kind of love... "The director said that no one could do a rape scene like me." She smiled, wiping her hair with the towel. Causing her breasts to jiggle a little and pull Sasami's eyes to them. BREASTS TO JIGGLE?!?! I knew it! This is Tenchi Forever Aeka. (nods) She's the only one that has em large enough for that. "Uh, that's great Sis. I really got to get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." She hurried back towards her room. "Happy Birthday, Sasami." Her sister called out as she also headed towards her room. The words fell on death ears Death ears? So her ears died, but the rest of her body lives on? It sounds just lame enough to be the plot of an anime. as Sasami saw a pale wooden item on the other side of her futon. *** "The Baton has finally returned to earth." Rumiya gloated to her followers. "Our time is at hand to rule the twin worlds." (immitating Zordon) Alpha, summon the Power Rangers! Finally she could get her revenge on Tsunami, all she needed was the talisman. (Imitates SEELE) Yes, and the Lance of Longinus will soon be in our hands. (Imitates SEELE) Do not betray us, Gendo Ikari. Ramia chuckled, as soon as she found the Talisman she would also find Tsunami's first daughter. She would make that bitch beg to be her slave If it'll end this fic, I'll beg to be your slave. and lead her on a collar in front of Tsunami. No even better a matched set of slaves... mother and daughter. (immitating Ramia) They'll go together well with my matching pair of earings. "Mistress we have narrowed the search area to a ten kilometer radius." Ramia's little brother Rumiya told her fawning at Ramia's feet. "There's also an all girls school in the center of that area, she probably attends it, mistress." "Dog," Ramia kicked him for punctuation. " Does that mean we get to kick the author everytime he makes a grammer mistake? (cracks knuckles) I sure hope so. Of course she would attend that school. Hmmm... that gives me an idea, we'll need a submissive that goes to that school though..." And hence, the plot thins. *** "Okay people the student council has approved *our* idea for a magical girl show." Eimi paused consulting a schedule. (immitating Eimi) And they've also approved your idea for a movie Mr. N. Three hours later, the student council was arrested with a blood/alchohol level average of point three oh and possesion of crack. "We've got the two to three slot on the main stage." "Ms. Twice has agreed to write the script for the show." A hand waved in the rear acknowledging the comment before continuing to write. So the little twisted freak has a little twisted sister... (sing) We're not gonna take it! No! We're not gonna take it! (Afura joins in.) WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT... ANYMOOOOORRREE! "Ms. Mizuhara, your in charge of special effects. No Explosions, please!" The brown hair girl nodded in acknowledgment. "Can I have Ms. Yume and Ms. Kagato to help out." "Sure I don't see why not." "Costumes will be Modoka." "I'll need Lill and Achika." Why does that name sound familiar? (shrugs.) "Okay. That leaves us 18 people." She paused again. "Approximately ten people for scenery... And the other eight will be used to attempt to fix this story. any volunteers." She looked out at the raised hands, completely ignoring Sasami and Misao. " (immitating Eimi) I'm sorry girls. We just don't like to give out positions like that to sick, S&M freaks like yourselves. 1...4..7...thanks that's good enough. Now the rest will be in the play." "As soon as we get a script out line. We'll vote on the lead." "Tomorrow." The crazed writer yelled. (immitating writer) Tomorrow I swear I'll try to turn this into a good fic! "Tomorrow then." *** Gymnastic had been grueling again. That damn Gymnastic! So cruel... Ms. Kiyone once more trying to make her students reach a perfection only she could see. Sasami had stolen a few minutes with Misao in the storage closet afterwards but just hadn't felt like sex. YEA!!!!! After a few minutes of kissing and petting she walked away to take a shower. Ever since her birthday she just hadn't been in the mood. Misao felt the difference in her mistress. Yeah, she changed when she learned her father was... (throws a Butterfinger at Davner) Bad Davner! Bad! But had not brought up the subject yet. If Sasami didn't snap out of it soon, she would do something really *bad* and have her mistress punish her. Just the thought made her feel a little hot. And that's when Misao looked down to see that she was on fire. She then burnt to death, and thus the fic ended happily. Sasami opened her locker changing into a short shirt and blue blouse after taking a quick shower. Grabbing up Misao she burst out of the gym. "You feel like ice cream." Sasami asked heading towards a popular hang out. (immitating Misao) No, but I feel like making you cream. ! (shakes head) How could this happen to her? Well according to that movie Ryoko and Afura showed me... Thanks Kasumi, but we really don't need the description. "Yes," Misao whispered back latching on to Sasami's arm as they walked down the road towards Abcb enjoying the stroll and talking about inconsequential gossip. ABBA?! I thought they died! Horrible bands never die, they just fade away... "The plays only a week away now. You got your lines memorized Misao?" (Imitates Misao) Yeah, yeah, moan and groan while you pleasure me. I think I can manage. "I don't like being the villain." Misao snuggled into Sasami happy for the second time today. "Its odd how we ended up on opposing sides in the play." Sasami chuckled. "That's just so weird. We would never fight like that in real life." (immitating Sasami) No, I'd just beat the living shit out of you for my own sexual pleasure instead. "You know, I would never fight you." She whispered into Sasami's ear. "Mistress" Snuggling even closer into her friends side. (immitating Misao) Unless you promised to beat the shit out of me even more! Ok ok! We get the point! You know, Ryoko, I've been meaning to ask you something. If you and Aeka both end up marrying Tenchi would that mean that you'd have to undergo bridgeroom training by Aeka too? I... I never inquired about it... (sounds of writing can be heard as the authors of this MST write down an idea for their next collaboration) (looks around the theatre for the source of the noise) What's that sound? (Mutters bitterly) Cav and Doscher screwing me over again... "Or I you." Sasami opened the door holding it open for her friend. Taking a table by the window both of them stared out at the pedestrians. Madoka appeared from behind the counter and wandering up to there table, Sasami had forgotten that her class mate worked here. While she ordered a scoop of coffee pecan ice cream, Sasami heard the bell chime behind her as the door opened. Misao's face suddenly went from timidly happy to neutral. "Hey Tenchi, the usual." The owner called from behind the bar. "Sure, and a bowl of hot soup, if Madoka made it." The dark hair youth called sitting down at the counter accepting a cup of cappuccino. Look, Ryoko. It's your favorite person in the whole world. And look! He's here to screw Sasami. How sweet! (Glares at Davner) No, Dav, Tenchi only screws ghosts and trees. STOP IT!!! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM!! What's there to understand. He found a thousand year old, rotting tree whore more attractive than... (Afura claps hand over his mouth.) There is a line here you *really* don't want to cross... Besides... that's only TV Tenchi. (mumbles) Likely excuse... Sasami's heart stopped for about ten seconds before she remembered to breath again. Misao watched Sasami's expressions change, jealousy coursing through her veins. *At least that isn't the cause of her sudden loss of interest in me.* Misao thought sighing a breath of relief. *It must be something that happened on her birthday. Maybe I should just ask her. It would distract Sasami from him.* "Sasami... Um... Is there something wrong. You haven't been the same since your birthday." (Imitates Misao) Oh God! You're not pregnant are you!? (Looks at him) (Shrugs and points at Ryoko.) Why not? It's happened once already. (Starts crying again.) She whispered to her friend. Tearing Sasami's gaze from the Tenchi. "I just have a lot on my mind." She said noting Misao's look of concern. "I'm fine, don't worry." Sasami said turning her attention back to watching Tenchi out of the corner of her eye. "Isn't he handsome Misao, just like a prince." Yeah, even I wanna date him. (Ryoko glares at him.) I'm just kidding. (Ryoko continues to glare.) I'm serious! I'm just kidding! (Mutters) You'd better be. I gotta enough to deal with already... "Sure." Misao agreed tearing into her ice cream. While Sasami picked at hers. Obviously fixated on something else. "Sasami, I just remembered something I have to do." (Imitates Misao) Weekly gonnorhea test! Seeya later! "Ok, see you tomorrow Misao." Sasami turned her full attention back to her friend and gave her a big smile. "Bye" She left Sasami starring out of the side of her eyes at Tenchi. Misao headed home her mind awash with thoughts of Sasami and jealously. Not paying any attention to her surrounding. (Leans toward Kasumi and whispers.) Tentacles... (Jumps and screams.) Heh heh heh.... (eyes Ryoko) What? She wasn't paying attention to her... ACK! (swings butcher's knife) I'll take off those tentacles of yours! (dodging) Hey hey! I'm not really a hermaphrodite! Grab her! (Grabs Kasumi from behind.) Calm down, darl'n! Smooth move, ex lax.... It was just a joke! The door to her apartment was locked again. Not that she expected it to be other then that. Grabbing the key out of her purse, she opened the door and walked into the room. The lights turned on with a flick of her wrist. Exposing a blinking answering machine. She groaned and pressed the button, knowing already what it would say. (Imitates angry answering machine) Hey you! You're the guy who side swiped me on the Brooklyn bridge. Don't think I didn't see your big, blue pony tails! You'll be hearing from my lawyer! "Hi Misao, I won't be home till late again. Order some food from the usual place." Pause. "Make sure you do your homework." Pause. "Honey don't wait up for me. I love you." "Ah... was that you mommy slave..." Ramia cooed out to Misao from a dark corner of the room. "Who are you?" Misao asked timidly frozen in place like a deer in headlights. Now if only she would be hit by a truck... "I've come to recruit you for the RamiaHelm clan. We have an excellent dental plan, and a 401K. You are going to find Tsunami's daughter for me, slave. Now get down on your knees." I'm curious. Do any of these evil geniuses ever think to check the phone book before they embark on some sinister plan to turn their best friend against them? Hmmmmm.... Misao suddenly makes a run for it heading towards the door only to run into Rumiya. Grabbing hold of her, the kid dressed in a riot of colors pulled Misao in front of the older lady. "Now, their won't be any running away little one. Your fate is already sealed." Jerking Misao's hands together she pulled Misao up on to her toes and let go. Somehow the hands stayed together leaving Misao exposed. Admiring her captive Ramia jerked Misao's skirt to the floor which were closely followed by her panties. Tears started to run down Misao's eyes as she blushed a bright crimson. *NOW* she's embarrassed?! Worse by far was the fact that her body was betraying her already. Stupid body! Always turning traitor on me, aren't ya?! Her pussy glistening slightly with juices. "Hmm... this little whore is wet already." Ramia murmured into her ear. She grabbed hold of Misao's blouse pulling it up over her head effectively blinding! Wedgie! her and exposing a pale white bra. The woman grabbed her bra and forcefully removed it. Misao not being able to see and in her awkward position couldn't maintain her balance and swayed painfully by her arms. A muffled scream escaping her lips. Muttering something Rumiya's finger nails started to glow. Lightly caressed Misao's breast with them. Pain ripped through her body and Misao screamed again convulsively. Rumiya grinned kicking her brother away from the girl who had been trying to get in on the action. "She is my little slave." (immitating Ramia) No! She's my slave! (immitating Rumiya) No! You got the last slave! I want this one! This one's better! She moans louder! Always about the moaning with you isn't it?! Running her finger nails down the sides of Misao's breasts enjoying herself. Misao's feet gave out leaving her limply suspended by her arms. Breathing rapid short breaths, that were choked with screams. Ramia took a step back letting the slave catch her breath. It was necessary for the ritual that she was able to talk. "Rumiya go get me something to drink from the kitchen." It's Miller time!! She kicked him on the ground for emphasis and the pleasure of it. Kick the baby! (baby voice) Don't kick the baby. (kicks Davner) Damn, did he walk into that one. "Now Misao, was it. I want you to agree to be my slave." She surrounded the girl with a spell so that the words would be everywhere around the girl. That her voice would vibrate all the right places and make her slave long for her touch. "Please... " Misao moaned her mind experiencing and feeling so much more then when Sasami and her had played their games. "Slave, you must always refer to me as mistress." (immitating Ramia) If your refer to me as Ramia I'll have to punish you! Oh like that would stop her. There are pains that are not pleasurable... (holds up copy of Tenchi Forever) And we have an example right here... She whispered in Misao's ear and yet her words seem to course through Misao's whole body tickling her with pleasure. Misao gasped at the feel. Taking her glowing fingernails Ramia carefully traced down Misao's spine sending the nerves it contained into convulsions. Like she was being ripped apart from the in side. (Snaps her fingers.) *That's* what watching this fic feels like! "Being ripped apart from the inside!" I've been looking for the right words since the damn thing started! Ramia accepted the glass of water from her brother breathing hard herself as her eyes became pin points. Waiting for Misao's body to stop squirming. Rumiya felt her own body begin to get wet. (looks puzzled) Is it my imagination, or did both of them suddenly become females? (confused) I'm... I'm not quite sure... Oh my god! Ramia has the Jusenkyo curse! No no no! Rumiya's supposed to be the guy, so he has it. (looks back on previous paragraphs) Wait a minute... which one is the woman? Well Rumiya might've poured water on himself by accident... Shh Kasumi... (opens up Pretty Sammy character guide)... Ok I'm lost... (looks at guide) Ok... Ramia is the woman... and Rumiya's the guy... (shakes head) How do you get the sexes of the characters this screwed up?! Well... we got one hermaphrodite in this fic and two characters that can't figure out if they're female or male... (nods) Thus we all learn the value of "pre-reading." (still checking earlier parts of the fic) Kami-sama... Should I ask how long he's been messing this up? No... Giving pain always had this effect on her. Reforming someone's mind to your standards. Now this fic has crossed the line! That's the goal of the public school system! Tsunami had never understand. With the Baton that should have been hers, she could have ruled the Shinma and the world from the shadows. Forming everyone in the worlds mind as she wanted ruling the sheep with out even their knowledge. But Tsunami was the oldest and that bitch, their grandmother had stopped Rumiya from bonding with the Talisman. Translation: She walked in on her in the bathroom and caught her with the mega dildo... She would get it and Tsunami's child as well. Then Tsunami, the thought made her need even greater. She chuckled to herself. Dumping the rest of the water on her brother she continued playing with Misao. So did he turn back into a guy now? I'm not even going to touch it... "You want me slave." Ramia shouted amplifying the pleasure her voice gave. Pain and Pleasure that was the key to making a good slave. (salesman voice) That's right! You too can own a copy of Ramia's "How to Make a Good Slave." In it are such helpful techniques like using nipple clamps and the right way to whip your slave. Order right now and we'll throw in a free set of Ginsu knives! Altogether, a $49.95 value, yours for only $69.95! Operators are standing by! (speaking rapidly in barely understandable voice) Offer not available in New Jersey, New York, or Canada. Giving us your credit card will mean we will rob you of all your money. Agreeing to these terms means we now own your soul. Offer is only valid if you call on a Saturday when the moon is perfectly positioned between Mars and Uranus. The voice was enough after the earlier pain to set Misao into orgasm her chests and legs Jeeze! I'm not female and don't understand what he just said, but damn that sounds rather painful! twitching her breath in gasps. Rumiya thrust her fingers into Misao's clit as the orgasm took her changing the pleasure into screams of pain that lasted forever in the girl's mind. Even after she had removed her fingers from the girls twitching cunt. "Now slave tell me that you are mine." Ramia purred once again setting Misao's body to quivering from her voice. (immitating Ramia.) Tell me I am beautiful! Tell me I am wonderful and fantastic, and gorgeous... (Nods.) Cause if you don't I'll whip your ass! Really... if she enjoys pain what the hell is the point in punishing her?!?! "Mistress, please, I am your slave." Misao cried tears soaking through the blouse covering her head. "Good." Grabbing one of the girls hands, Rumiya yanked it level to the room leaving Misao's other arm in immense pain as it supported her whole body. "Appear." Ramia called out holding her hand as a yellow whip appeared. If we all yell "dissapear" loud enough, would the fic dissapear? No, but this might help with the pain. (hands Ryoko a beer.) Decorated with a fan at the hilt it was the best Ramia's magic could create after three hundred years of attempting to replicate the original Talisman. She shoved it into Misao's hand. She's spent three-hundred years working on a dildo?! And they say otaku need lives... "Rumiya, this is were you come in. Look in her eyes and take her mind forcing it to become one with the whip." Ramia's voice still massaged and tickled Misao making her forget the pain in her arm. The blouse that had been covering Misao's eyes was pushed down exposing her tear stained cheeks. Staring into her eyes Rumiya felt the connection to the whip and Misao. Feeling the magic snap into place. Transforming Misao into a blond haired girl dressed in red leather straps complete to long spike healed boots. A yellow feather protruded at an odd angel from her hair. (immitating Ramia) Damnit Rumiya! I told you not to pass that off as hair gel again! "Now little slave all you have to do is decorate the hilt of the whip with your virgin blood and you will be able to call Shinma." (laughs) Joke's on you if you think *this* little slut's a virgin!! Careful, Ryoko. She might come after *you* next. (Gulps and gets up.) I am out of here! (Gets up) Me too. This is freaking me out! (Grabs Kasumi from her chair.) Come on before you get *really* screwed up. But I want to see what happens. No you don't. (Leans over and whispers in her ear.) Tentacles. (Screams and runs from the room.) (Looks at Davner.) Beer? (Nods.) Beer. Kitchen? Kitchen. (The two get up and leave the theatre.) Misao's body felt alive from the transformation so many new sensations filling her and the words coming out of Ramia's mouth didn't help instead of horror she should have felt, all that her body could absorb was pleasure. "Hurry up my slave you will do it one way or another before the night is through." She ran her finger tips across Misao's breast as the pleasure in her words mingled with the pain of the spell. Forcing Misao to come once again to the brink of orgasm. Misao's hand swept down to her clit still holding the whip. All of her mind focused on obeying her new mistress and finding some needed relief. She forced the whip's handle into her clit and past her hymen drenching it in blood and cum as she bucked wildly an electrifying pulse sending her to new levels of pleasure she had only dreamed of before. Ramia released the spell that! was holding her in the air and let her fall to the ground. Misao continued to orgasm even on the floor for what felt like an infinite time to her. Finally panting she kneeled before Ramia. "Mistress, how may I serve you?" The blond haired girl asked. "Pleasure, me." (In the dining room.) (Moans.) Oh, Kasumi...you are amazing! Thank you, Mr. Davner. I've had to practice this for years before getting it right. Well, let me tell you, (Takes another bite of chicken teriyaki.) This is fantastic! (Rest of casts nods their assent.) I'm glad you like it. (Face appears on screen.) Ahem! Forget it Washu! We're not watching any more of that twisted fic! (Nods) Yeah, *Mom*. We're done! (Glares) Okay, then I'll just have to bring out the tentacle machine. !!!! TENTACLES!!!! (Screams and runs from the kitchen into the theatre.) (Sighs.) Oh, relax you big babies. It's almost over, then I can get you down. *** (Cast reenters theatre.) Sasami sighed. *Damm, I wish that I could have talked to him.* The thought kept running through her mind as she walked towards her house. *He was so cute, I should have said hi. I'll do it next time I promise.* She opened the gate and noticed that once again the lights were on. *Sis is home early. That has to be it.* After all how many times can insane visitors come to your home and inform you that their relatives. A good question. Ryoko? Well, let's see.... Ayeka, Sasami, Mayuka...I don't think Mihoshi's related to Tenchi, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was... She cautiously opened the door. "Hey Sis you home?" The house echoed her question early but gave no reply. *Guess, she just left the light on.* Taking off her shoes she headed towards the family room, the source of the light. Sasami was still full from the ice cream and coffee, she had picked at for over an hour while Tenchi had talked to Madoka and the owner. Rounding the corner of the hall, she saw a young girl with bright red hair sitting on her couch holding the baton. You gotta be fucking kidding me... Oh, man! This is *too* sweet! (Holds up her hand eagerly.) I get to tell her! Reasonably Sasami did a 180 and headed back towards the door only to be blocked by a small ninja, maybe four foot tall, clad in dark blue ninja suit complete to a hood covering its face. *What is it with little kids invading my house, today?* "Excuse me, but I forgot something in my book bag." Pointing towards the bag next to her shoes. "Miya?" The short ninja asked. Ryo-Ohki?! Great. Bestiality.....goodie... "Uh, yah..." Sasami started edging around the ninja who moved to block her way. "Tsunami say you run away allot. Meow. Grandmother wants to talk to you. Miya. You no run. Meow." The weird little ninja told her. "Grandmother? But the only person in their was a little girl." Disbelief colored her voice. "That's right, I'm your grandmother, Washu." The little red haired girl told Sasami. "I'm also the World's Greatest Sexual Genius." And they say men brag too much... She proudly announced. At the word sex Sasami jumped over the ninja, using him as a spring board, and ran for the door. *Not another crazy, what is happening to my life.* Opening the door took too long and the little ninja tackled her knocking, Sasami's head against the door. *** "Hi, this is Sasami. In the next episode I'll have to... that is too gross... I won't do it no matter how much you all try to make me. I want to give that to Tenchi... (Bolts upright in her seat.) YOU SCHEMING BITCH!!! Does that mean you want to give yours to Tenchi too? (forms an energy sword) Oh that's it! You're going down Dav! I think she's a bit sensitive on the subject. Well you gotta admit it destroys the whole "tough girl" image. I'M SORRY! (swings sword) Stay still! Trust me I'm told that this is quite painless. The next episode is called "On the day of the play." And it rhymes! How cute! And just who is that Slutty Misa any ways?" Hit the back button on your browser now... ok I warned you. Okay first things first this was suppose to be a one shot story... unfortunately it got just a tad to long and I'm having trouble writing the final mass rape scene.... (Put their heads in their hands and cry.) so in true meanness I have to tell you that the sequel is on the way.... what a threat. HA HA. I hope you liked the story. Please send all constructive criticism and praise to STRIKESTWICE@hotmail.com and send all flames and other such nastiness to my lawyer at BSaddress@nowhere.com. (Writing on his hand.) no...where...dot...com... (Smacks Davner in the back of the head.) Moron... The check is in the mail Mr. Lawyer you can tell them to stop following me in the pizza truck. That's not a pizza truck, it's a SWAT team... (Back in the kitchen.) (Face appears on screen.) Did you enjoy the fic? (Cast glares at her.) Heh, too bad. Anyway, where's Kasumi? (Points at a corner where Kasumi is standing, brandishing a kitchen knife.) Just stay back! I know you're not what you appear to be! I see just *one* tentacle, and I'm lopping it off! Christ! What the hell did you do to her?! Whoops! Gotta go! (Dematerializes.) I...um....have some reading to catch up on. (Bolts from the room.) (Shakes head.) Never mind. I'm almost done with my research, so just hold tight. (Davner appears at the door to the Tree Room where the rest of the cast is waiting for him.) Ok, what the hell happened? Well... you see... Kasumi was out of it and sort of um... found the tree... Oh god no... Yeah and you see... well... you know *she* isn't very picky. Oh wonderful, so what the hell are we going to do... what the?! (picks up Davner) You've still got time to get her before *she* has her way with her. Good luck Dav. Have fun. Wait a minute! Stop! Don't do this... (Ryoko tosses Dav into the tree as his screams can be heard all the way down) *Two hours later* What's taking him so long... Well... we might have to send someone after him next... Hey Ryoko, isn't she scared of you... Don't even think it. (face appears on screen.) Ah! Cavis! Good. I'd like to speak with Davner. Where is he? (Points at tree.) He's in there. WITH HARUNA!!!??? (Nods) And Kasumi too... IS THAT SO!!?? THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!! (Climbs out of tree carrying Kasumi in a fireman's carry. His face is covered in lipstick. His shirt buttons are undone. He drops Kasumi to the ground.) I...need fluids! You bastard! I can't believe you! Ayeka!? It's not what you think! Oh really? No, you see... (Wakes up and hugs Davner.) Oh thank you! I was so frightened! (Kisses Davner) YOU CHEATING, MOLLIDONI BASTARD!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!! Wait, darl'n! It's not what you... (Ayeka's image disappears.) think.... So how was she? (decks Cavis) Don't ever ask me about that again. I'm going to be in the shower for the next... few weeks. (Takes off shirt and throws it at Cavis.) Here! Burn this! (In the kitchen) (Puts a plate in front of a dejected Davner.) Here you are. I'm sorry, Mr. Davner. I didn't know. (Waves the apology aside.) It's okay, darl'n. Don't worry about it. (Begins eating.) (Face appears on screen.) Bad news people. Kasumi's alpha pattern didn't match up. (Shakes head) I don't get it. Her pattern started out flawless, but halfway through...it's like her mind has been warped. (Glare at Afura and Ryoko as they quickly leave the room.) So we're stuck here a while longer then? (Nods.) Yep. Okay, Kasumi. Time to go home. (Grabs Kasumi's arm.) Oh no you don't, Washu! This one stays! She's the only one here who can cook! Davner... Please, Washu!? Let her stay?! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............. ........................No! (Presses a button on her holotop. Kasumi disappears.) DAMMIT!!! Later, boys. (Washu's image disappears.) Stranded... Starving... It can't get any worse... (Face appears on screen.) Davner! I want to talk to you! Oh, yes it can...(Gets up and faces the screen. Smiles.) Hello, darl'n! End Notes: This was our second MST. We're getting better all the time! ^_^ If you'd like to comment on this story, just send a message to: Cav at cav@wpi.edu or: Thomas "009" Doscher at doscher009@hotmail.com Thanks for reading!