Jaiq(as Carson Daly): This Friday on TRL we're gonna review the Top Ten worst Tenchi Muyo! Fanfic ideas appearent to Jaiq da Goose. As we move through the count down we need to point out that the ideas with stars are the ideas that Jaiq has done or intends to do. Up first at number 10 is.. Instead of finding Ryoko in a cave near the shrine, Tenchi looks for her in Mammoth caves, in Kentucky. Along the way he finds all of the other characters but becomes too far lost to locate Ryoko. Kiyone fills the void caused by Ryoko's absence and the rest of the show plays inside of the caves. Jaiq (dropping Carson Daly act): O.K. that was "Tenchi In Kentucky" by Trista (13) Decker at number 10, now here's Thread The Great Elven Knight at 9... Jimmy Buffett's "LOVE STORY FROM A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW" with interuptions by the Ten-crew.* Jaiq: Moving right along to number 8 we have... Ryoko leaves the Masaki home and becomes one of the Power Puff Girls! Jaiq: Wow that was "Power Puff Ryoko" at number 8 by our special guest, "Stormy" Mathews, welcome to TRL Stormy! Stormy: Thank you, Jaiq, Hi Mom! Jaiq: So Stormy, you have a top ten bad fanfic idea, how has your life changed? Stormy: Well I have lost a lot of free time that I used to have, what with the security, the stalkers, and the disgruntled My.S.T.ing crews. But I like to think that I'm still the same shy cat/girl from Grosse Pointe Farms. Jaiq: And would you like to introduce the next idea on the count down? Stormy: Sure, today at number 7 is "Doc" Hathcock with "TENCHI CLUE-YO!"... "TENCHI CLUE-YO!" with Ryoko as Ms. Scarlet, Princess Ayeka as Mrs. White, Kiyone as Mrs. Peacock, Tenchi as Mr. Green, Noboyuki as Professor Plum, Yosho as Colonel Mustard, Kagato as Wadsworth, Mihoshi as Yevette, and Kain as Mr. Body. Jaiq: All right, that was "Doc" Hathcock at number 7, before we go to commercial we have this trivia question. Which artist in today's count down is mentioned in another fanfic idea? Stormy do you know the answer? Stormy: Nope, can't say that I do! Commercial Wufei: Do you have a war to stop, but don't have a moble suit? Come on down to Crazy Dorothy's world of used Gundams! Where you can get this 194 wing for just $800 down and $2,000,000 a month! Or this 195 Epyon with Zero system for just $950 down 2,049,000 a month! Or this fine 197 Talgeese III for only $9,000 down and your immortal soul a month! that's Crazy Dorothy's World of used Gundams, where we have two sets of eyebrows, but not two faces! End Commercial Jaiq: We're back with Ella on the phone. Ella do you like Stormy? Ella: Well... I think she'sabigfatbitchwhocouldn'tthinkherwayoutofapaperbag, but, yeah, I guess She's cool. Jaiq: Ooooh Kaaaaaay? So who do think is the answer to the trivia? Ella: Is it Aye-ohki? Jaiq: It is and you win a copy of Stormy's new C.D. "POWER PUFF CHUN-LI"! Ella: What a rip! Stormy: Yeah? Well I don't see you with a top ten fanfic idea you little street-walker! Jaiq: Well o.k., so, now we have number 6, this is Aye-ohki... Ayeka's daughter comes back from the future. The father? Washu and Ryo-ohki. Stormy: Um, I guess I should announce the next idea, since Jaiq is off chasing fanfic elves in the parking lot. At number 5 is TRL's own Jaiq da Goose... Inserting one's self into Mihoshi's body (Lime or worse).* Stormy: Um, Jaiq isn't here yet but I guess... Jaiq walks in with a box of donuts and a large Toco Bell (tm) bag. Stormy: So, what happened? Jaiq: I got al the way to Eight Mile and Gratiot before the girl at the donut shop told me that there is no such thing as fanfic elves... yet. So where are we? Stormy: I was about to say... at number 4 is Squal Wingless with.... Tenchi Raider: The Last Revelation ('nuff said) Jaiq: Before we get to the top three, we'll take a look at some of the ideas that came close but fell just short. Tenchi in "GLORY RAOD" where the hero first see's star (and she's naked).* Washu doing a Tenchi version of Eminem's "My Fault". A Noboyuki/Nagi Lemmon* A My.S.T. of this top ten list Jaiq: ohkaaaaay? That was disturbing. now at number 3 is another Trista (13) Decker idea... A top ten list that gives bad ideas to other fanfic writers (I had to say it) Jaiq: Hey! that wasn't nice! Stormy: But it's true isn't it? Jaiq: But still... Stormy: Anaway! at number two is Hunter Evens with... A Tenchi Muyo!, Dragon Ball Z, "WHERE IS JOE MERCHANT", Highlander x-over where noone is in character with Tenchi/Mihoshi, Joe Merchant/Washu/Ryoko, and Sasami/Gohan lemon scenes and an appearance by The Writer of The Fic.* Jaiq: Ahight! Before we get to number one we have a message form one of our producers, Erica, The Goddess of Caffinated drinks. Erica: Jaiq, your fired. From now on, Stormy is going to do what ever top tens we produce. Jaiq: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (At this point Jaiq explodes and is replaced by a perky blonde cheer leader) Brittney: GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! sTORMY!!!!!!!!!!! Stormy(nervously): Um, o.k., finaly at number one is Jaiq once again with the worst Tenchi fanfic he can think of ... Tenchi Masaki and an author created character in one of my caffinated rants x-over several otther Anime characters that have inheirited My insanity!!!* Stormy: Erica, can you do something about her? She's hugging the audiance to death! Erica: Yeah, she is kind of anoying. (Erica snps her fingers and Brittney turns into Lady Une) Une: At this point 5150 productionswould like to point out that James Zale, 5150 productions do not own rights to Tenchi Muyo!, it's characters, or any of the shows, books, or movies X-ed over in this top ten list (Myself included). Erica: As a representitive of 5150 pruductions I would like to ask all writers attemping to produce fics from ideas on this list contact us to let us know. the E-mail address is goose20693@aol.com and we would appreciate hearing anything from praise (which we do not expect) to vicious flames (which may flood our offices) Stormy: Uh, Yeah! And please don't sue us because if they take away Jaiq's action figures he'll be forced to play with himself and write fanfics about that, and noone wants to hear this pecker-head talking about beating his meat! Jaiq(has come in from nowhere): If you find this offensive, so do I. "It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can still remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty." --George Burns