Disclaimer: As I said before, I don't own any of the Anime series here, except Earth Massacre. Now enjoy, my fellow freaks of nature... Ultima Anime Massacre Chapter #2: "Dark Metal Psychos!" ________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ By Ultima Trev, the l33t Metalhead "Shit shit shit." Said Trell. "What should we do?" Asked Noc. Trell draws his Claymore. "Looks like I have no choice. He'll just have to die." Noc puts on a look of fright. "What are you going to do?" "Just watch. (Silence for ten seconds) "OMNISLASH!!" While Trell is charging up his blade, the Juraians run in fear. Trell connects with a 20 hit combo that leaves Trev completely mutilated... Noc sighs. "This sucks. How are we going to manage without him?" Trell grins evilly. "Arch Angel St. Israphael will resurrect him eventually." "Huh?" Next, a comet like object falls to the ground and leaves a big crater in the ground... "That would him right now." Said Trell. Noc forms a sweat drop. "That's fast." Trev has been resurrected in only 10 seconds. While it may seem ridiculous, that is in fact the awesome power of the Lord All Mighty... "God Damn PMS, only if I could control it..." Said Trev. Trell smiles. "That would be Hella cool. Imagine, these pirate fools would bow to you as their God." Trev smirks. "Yeah, not even Tendo Empress Sakuya would be able to touch me." Trell puts on a puzzled look. "Tendo Empress?" "Yeah, she's the leader of all Kei Pirates." "Israphael tell you that?" "Yep." Noc is confused. "What are you guys talking about? Who the fuck is Israphael?" Trev replies. "He is God's right hand man. He is the grand Arch Angel." "Oh..." Said Noc. "Oh Ami, lick me harder!" Trev is puzzled. "Did you guys hear that?" Trell looks up. "Yeah, but what was it?" "You turn me on so much, you sexy bitch!" Trev points to vibrating bush. "Let's check it out." The Three bounty hunters tip toe towards the bush... "Oh Ami, I'm cumming, oh yes!" Trev and the gang bust their cover. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Their laughter has revealed them. Popping up from the bush are sailor scouts Usagi and Ami, who are completely nude and covered in ejaculate fluids. "Yo Dawg, looks like we got us some perverts up in here." Said Usagi. "Damn right G, we should transform and kick dose asses." While Usagi and Ami transform into Sailor Moon and Mercury, our heroines sweat drop. You can't blame them, who ever thought the Sailor Scouts used Ebonics? Usagi points to our heroines. "Awright homies, who be dead first?" Trev grins. "No wonder you guys retired." Ami yells. "Shit dawg, this is the bitch that put us Scouts outta business." "Awright then, let's kick dat ass, N 'Sync style!" Blurts Usagi. "N Sync? You listen to that shit? Said Trev. Ami blurts out. "We gonna kill this mo fucka now, he be dissin' da 'Sync." Trev then growls. "CANNIBAL CORPSE IS BETTER!!" With ultra sonic speed, Trev hits Usagi and Ami upside the head, boosting their IQ by 50 points. The Juraians approach the scene... "What's going on here?" Asked Tenchi. "Just bashing some scouts." Replied Trell. Age then teleports out of nowhere. "Tsunami is fixed." Trev sweat drops. "Already?" Age then frowns. "Trev, the ECTF utilizes technology far beyond anything else in this universe." Trev replies. "Is that so?" Meanwhile on Jurai, the Kei Pirates have seized the planet. Hazanko and a band of pirates bust down the doors to the congress room... "What is the meaning of this?" Asked a congressman. "I am Hazanko, and we claim this planet as Kei Pirate Territory." "We will not allow you to over take this planet!" "You have made a fatal mistake, friend." Hazanko fires a ki blast and completely mutilates the congressman. "Anyone else disagree with out plans?" The congressmen shake their heads... "Good. Without further ado, I give you your new master. ALL HAIL THE TENDO EMPRESS, SAKUYA!! Oh no! The evil Sakuya from Shin Tenchi has (sort of) weaseled her way into the OAV, and overtaken it! "Well done Hazanko. Without the Jurai King to stop us, conquering this planet was too easy." Said Sakuya. "Agreed." Said Hazanko. Meanwhile on Earth, Sasami receives a vision from her alter ego, Tsunami... "Jurai has been seized. The evil Pirate Empress Sakuya has captured the Jurai Congress." Said Tsunami. Sasami goes wide eyed. "Tenchi, we have big trouble on our hands." "What is it?" Asked Tenchi. "A Pirate clan known as the Kei have seized Jurai and it's congress." Trev, Trell, Age, and Noc jump with joy. They plan another party. They set fire to a tree and apply Corpse Paint to their faces. The feast on the blood of ECTF prisoners and set up a large ass surround sound system. The music played is stuff by Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Emperor, Marduk, My Dying Bride, Therion, Children of Bodom, Zyklon, Exhumed, Opera XI, and Soilent Green. They have their selves an hour long Dark Metal Ritual. Afterwards, they board Tsunami and take off for Jurai... "I think we should have another Dark Metal fest after we vanquish the pirate scum." Said Age. "YES!!" Said Trev in his exceptional Death Metal growl. Tenchi, Sasami, Aeka, and Ryouko sweat hundreds of sweat beads due to the actions of the Dark Metal possessed psychos... End of Chapter 2. I'm sorry for the shortness, but writing fics is much harder than it seems.