Tenchi Muyo! H Adventures Series Send all feedback to warpzone32@hotmail.com I can use the flames to heat my house. !!!WARNING!!!: What is the point of putting up a disclaimer? Sometimes I think the only reason people put them on their fanfics is because it is an extension of the art form. I mean, there are THOUSANDS of websites FULL of XXX pictures that are being accessed every day by children, despite all efforts to stop them. Will a disclaimer on a simple text story really make such a big diffrence? I mean, what sites are even going to archive this story, besides Hentai sites which have warnings and Heat-Seaking, Automated Age Verification Systems of their own? And as for the copyright thing, I have never once heard of someone getting arrested because they used Ranma in a story that they claimed was theirs. Have you? Oh well, this story contains sex and Tenchi Muyo characters, SO THERE!!! Oh yeah! One more thing! I do realize there is very little here to get aroused over... this is kind of a prologue story. That way, i don't have to come up with a plot for all the rest of the stories in the series, I can just skip right to the good stuff. ^_^ Yet it will still have a plot to it, sort of, if you have read this story. This is my first Tenchi Lemon. Hope you don't have too much trouble with the word wrap. Enjoy! EPISODE 1: NO NEED FOR PROLOGUE! Deep in the heart of her sub-space lab, Washuu's fingers flicked tirelessly over the holographic keyboard floating in the air before her. Her face was twisted into the mischevious grin of a woman about to see her brilliant plans come to fruition. It seemed she always had that little smirk on her face when she neared the end of a project. Indeed, her moods followed a definite pattern when she was engrossed in her work. When she first began a new project, she'd cackle evilly to herself, thrilled with the ego trip of having concieved such a brilliant idea. Later, when she was working out the details of whatever it was she was bent on creating, her laugh would change to a serious look of concentration. Finally, toward the end of her debugging phase, the sly sinister smirk would spread across her face, which later gave way to a toothy evil grin, as she pondered the possible applications of her new invention... To think, they had actually called her mad! To her face!! HER! The most brilliant scientist in the universe! They'd called her cliche, too! Well, SHE would certianly show THEM.... Finally, the screen flashed green. "I'VE DONE IT!!!" Washuu let out a loud mad scientist cackle. Upon hearing their mistrtess's delight, the chibi-Washuus A and B immediately sprang into action... "The experiment is sucessful, Washuu!!" "You are a genius, Washuu!! "BWAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!" The kawaii, hi-pitched yet powerful voice cackled evilly as the SuperDeformed mecha on her shoulders sang her praise. * * * Sunlight streamed through the kitchen windows as Sasami served breakfast that morning. "Good morning, Lord Tenchi," Aieka said politely, sitting down next to, but a respectful distance away from, the object of her desire, Tenchi Masaki. After all, she wasn't like *some* people, who would blatently... "Hiya, Tenchi!" Ryoko said, appearing like a ghost out of thin air and landing between Tenchi and Aieka. "Thank you *so* much for saving me a seat, princess," Ryoko quipped, wrapping her arms around Tenchi posessively. "How about a good-morning kiss, Tenchi?" she purred and snuggled up to him... "Ryoko... cut it out!" Tenchi sounded midway between annoyed and afraid of Ryoko's advances. "I'm trying to eat breakfast!" "Great, everybody's here," Sasami said, setting out the rest of whatever Japanese people have for breakfast. (I could look it up just to look smart, but I don't feel like it.) "Now the only one who's missing is Washuu!" "Um... I think I'll go get her," Tenchi said, squirming out of Ryoko's grasp and grateful for the excuse to leave... "Wait! Tenchi, come back!!" Ryoko whined. "I wasn't finished Ten-chiii!" "Miss Ryoko!" Aieka practically shreiked, trying to sound shocked but really sounding more jellous than anything, "If Lord Tenchi has the common sense not to show affection for a MONSTER like you, there's no reason you should try to force him to!!" Ryoko shrugged and picked at her serving of mitso soup or something like that. "I'll have you know there's a very good reason to try to force my affections on Tenchi..." Aieka hmmphed and daintily sipped at her tea, her nose held high in the air. It was a tricky manuver to accomplish without getting half the beverage down the front of her kimono. "And what might that be?" she asked haughtily. Ryoko smiled, a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes. "'Cuz it's FUN." * * * "Erm, hello... Washuu?" Tenchi called into the darkness of Washuu's lab. Strangely colored light gleamed off metal and glass surfaces, and odd sounds echoed up from the depths of her lab. "Breakfast is ready!" Somehow, no matter what part of the lab the door happened to set him down in, Washuu never seemed to be within shouting distance. "Well... I guess I'll have to go get her..." Tenchi steeled himself and cautiously stepped into the darkness of the lab. Slowly, he walked towards the part of the lab where most of the activity seemed to be centered. The lights were brighter now and the sounds more clearly pronounced... he could make out the beeps and whirrs and small explosions for what they were, apart from the drone of machinery which seemed always to fill the lab. Gradually, he drew closer. He continued to tred lightly, and to glance cautiously around him as he walked. Still, no metal tenticals snaked out of the darkness to capture him, no rubber-gloved hands grabbed him and tried to force him into a chair, no sleeping gas hissed up from the floor to subdue him for yet annother attept at collecting a "sample." "Washuu!" he called, starting to sweat. It was too quiet... "Sasami has breakfast ready..." Just as he stepped around a corner, a voice very close to him called "Okay! Be finished in 43.2 milliseconds!" Tenchi jumped at least three feet and screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! WASHUU, DON'T DO THAT!!!" Washuu pouted. "Ooh... I'm so sorry Ten-chi! I didn't mean to frighten you..." She got down off the floating pillow she had been perched on, and walked over to Tenchi, grinning evilly. When she looked up at him like that, Tenchi could definitely see the resemblance to Ryoko... "What's wrong, Ten-chan?" Washuu grinned. "Ummm... how much longer did you say it would be?" he fumbled nervously... "Actually, the 43.2 milliseconds were up before I finished the sentance..." Whashuu now had him backed into a corner, boxed in by a generator of some sort, some neon-colored pipes... and herself. "So... we can go now, right?" Tenchi asked, trying to find a way to slip past Washuu without being tackled. "No. there's something I want to show you first." Suddenly Washuu was very businesslike. Tenchi calmed down a bit. Washuu had retrieved a microphone from nowhere, and raised it to her lips... "I give you, the latest scientific breakthrough from the greatest genius in the universe..." Fanfare trumpeted and spotlights shone on the young scientific wizzardess... "The Type-H Personality Improvement Ray!!!" In her hands Washuu proudly held up something that looked like a cross between cupid's arrow and a Gundam hardsuit. "You are brilliant, Washuu!" "You're a genius, Washuu! "The greatest in the universe!" "Nothing can stop you, Washuu!" Washuu just laughed and laughed and laughed... "Oh! What's so funny?" asked Mihoshi Washuu face-faulted. "I put a DNA-coded lock on that door especially keyed to keep you out! How the heck did open that door, Mishoshi!?" "Um... I turned the handle?" said Mihoshi, as confused as ever. "Ooooh... never mind her, Tenchi! The point is, this ray is especially designed to help you become a better person! It can instantaniously transform your entire personality! Make you a better student, change how you handle relationships, even modify your nutritional and recreational preferences! "Wow!" Mihoshi gasped. "Do you think it could make me a more competent officer?" "It certianly couldn't make you any less competent..." Kiyone muttered... "AAAH!! KIYONE!? HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!?" Kiyone shrugged. "I followed Mihoshi in. Wahsuu, do you think you could um..." Kiyone faltered. "what I mean is... uh... could you..." "Oh yeah!" Mihoshi remembered what Kiyone was talking about, vaguely. "I locked the keys in the Yagami again! Could you give us a hand?" "Grrrrr...." Washuu banged her head against something really big and metal. "Can you guys *please* get out of here while I do this demonstration..." "What demonstration?" asked Ryoko. Then, spotting Tenchi, she squeeled happily and flew into his arms. "Aaagh! C'mon, quit it Ryoko! People are watching!" "Mmmmmmmmm... but didn't you miss me, Tenchi?" Ryoko snuggled against him listening to his heart beat. "That does it!!" Washuu yelled, "If one more person walks in here uninvited I'm gonna scream!" "MISS RYOKO! Take your *hands* off Lord Tenchi..." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!" Washuu screamed and dropped to her knees melodramatically. "So... what's up?" Ryoko asked. "Well, Washuu invented this gun thats supposed to make people's personalities diffrent or something, and she was going to demonstrate it on Tenchi, or something like that," Mihoshi recited in a singsong voice... "Demonstrate it on Tenchi?" Ryoko repeated. "But why? Tenchi has the *perfect* personality! He's charming, and sweet..." Ryoko's voice trailed off. "HEY! Wait a minute... can it make him less shy around women?" "Ryoko!" Tenchi scolded, pulling himself out of her grasp, "That's NOT what Washuu had in mind when she built this thing!" Washuu's lip curled up again, exposing fangs set in an evil grin. "Actually... I *did* invent this thing simply to see if it could be done..." Washuu leveled what looked like the business end of the gun at Tenchi. "However, I can think of no better field test for such a device!" "WHAT!?" Tenchi backed away from Washuu, waving his arms as if getting ready to block the guns beams by hand some how. "Wahsuu! That's crazy! Hold on a minute..." "After all..." Washuu continued, "if it can temporarily make someone as shy as Tenchi into a full-fleged pervert... well, the posibilities for personal improvement are virtually without limit!!" "I quite agree with Lord Tenchi," cried Aieka, "I cannot allow you to experiment on him against his wishes!" "Hey, back off Princess!" Ryoko growled, "I think this'd be a fun experiment to try..." The two girls growled for a moment and glared at each furiously. Just as the sparks started to fly, a pale blue light shone over them and they both began to shrink. "Not in the lab," Washuu said, pointing to a machine-printed alluminum sign on the wall: ABSOLOUTELY *NO* FIGHTING IN THE SUB-SPACE LAB!!! (VIOLATORS WILL BE TURNED INTO WATER SPRITES.) "Kappa! Kappa Kappa!" complained Aieka and Ryoko from the floor. "OH, HOW KAWAII!!!" exclaimed Mihoshi and Sasami in unison. "SASAMI!?" Washuu colapsed on the floor. "That's it! I'm using this thing before anyone else comes in here unannounced!!" "What is it?" asked Sasami. "Don't worry," Washuu said, "Just a little something to make Tenchi more comfortable around Aieka and Ryoko." "Oh, that's good," Sasami said, "I was starting to worry about him." "Washuu..." Kiyone began in a responsible tone, "If Tenchi doesn't want to..." Kiyone tried to step forward, but a heavy duty mechanical arm restrained her. Washuu laughed evilly, and fired the ray. A deep pink light suffused the room... Tenchi held up his arms in panic. What was it going to do? How much would it change him, anyway? Surely it wouldn't... it COULDN'T make him as bad as his father, could it? "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" He yelled desperately, "WASHUU!! STOP THIS!!!!" "It's working!" cried Washuu, tingling in excitement! It was probably the most improbable thing she'd done yet! Making Tenchi Masaki hentai!! "AAAAAARGH!!! NO! I WON'T LET YOU!!!!!" "TENCHI!!!" There was a bright flash as energy filled the room. Then there was a loud explosion that shook the whole room... * * * "Washuu! Washuu, please wake up!!" Tenchi shook Washuu again... "Owww... my cerebellum..." Washuu complained... "What the heck happened!?" Aside from her head, Miss Washuu seemed unhurt. Her spine seemed to tingle a bit, but nothing seemed wrong with her nervous system, so she passed it off as shock and concentrated on the business at hand. Washuu sat up and looked around the lab. There was light damage to everything in the room, but it looked as if nothing important had been totally destroyed... "Oh NO!! The Type-H Personality improvement Ray!!!" It lay in a melted puddle on the floor, except for the now-useless heat-proof handle of the gun. "What happened to it!?" Nobody in the room looked hurt, but everyone was singed or dazed from the explosion. Everyone except... "Tenchi!? How come you weren't damaged at all?" Then she suddenly stopped. "How do you feel?" Tenchi rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Um... actually, about like normal, Washuu. Sorry about that, but it seemes to me that your invention didn't work..." "Awwww.... TENCHI!!!!" Washuu thudded her head against the ground in dispair... "I worked really hard on that!!" Kiyone broke up laughing. The cruel, haughty, but painfully fair laugh of justice being served. "Well, I for one say it serves you right!" Kiyone declared, "Trying to mess with poor Tenchi's personality like that! In fact, I've got half a mind to bring you up on charges...." Kiyone began to glow blue as she childed the defeated Washuu... "You HAVE got half a mind," Washuu replied irritatedly, "But compared to everyone else around here, that's a lot!" "KAPPA!?" Kiyone shouted angrilly. "OH HOW *ADORABLE!!" cried Sasami and Mihoshi! * * * Washuu dumped the melted remains of the Personality Improvement Ray into the automated recycle bin. Not one key component could be salvaged. Something had interfered with the ray's correct functioning, that was for sure. She didn't know what it was yet, but somewhere in the computer log she knew she'd find an answer. It would take a long time to find it, though. Truth be told, she didn't know what COULD have caused the gun to just explode like that. she said to herself, As her thoughts turned to Tenchi, she drifted off right there, floating in mid-air on her pillow. working for days on end did that to her. Even after a failed experiment, her body submitted to the rest she had been denying herself for days. It happened every time, once the pressure was off. As she began to dream of Tenchi, her hand drifted inexplicably down to between her legs... *HOW* she wished she could get that sample! =^w^=