I am a fan of the Tenchi Muyo series.  I do not own any of the 
characters.  I write only for fun.  This is a dark fan fiction.  Please 
stop reading if you don't like gory and/or if you're under 18 years 
old.

Tenchi's Insanity Series

Chapter 4: Irony Thy Name Is Tenchi

At the Masaki shrine, Tenchi was playing with the mini coffin with Ryo-
Ohki in it.  He was proud of himself but it wasn't enough.
"This is too easy," Tenchi said to himself. "I want some action with 
the kills.  That death wasn't special.  Nor was it that fun,"
Tenchi looked at the girls' house.
"I think the other kills will be better," Tenchi said. "Much better 
indeed."

At the girls' house, the girls were taking a bath before going to bed.  
The girls were thinking how good it'd be tomorrow.  Tenchi is home and 
it seems he'll say long enough for the plan to unfold.  But the 
question on all of their minds was what their skills were.  They were 
in different places and cleaning up.  Sasami was mostly soaking but and 
was daydreaming.  She was dreaming about how she'll treat Tenchi.  
After all, she is the youngest looking.
"Tenchi, my Tenchi.  Soon you'll pick me and you'll be mine for good." 
Sasami said.
As she daydreamed, she started to feel a little horny.  But she wanted 
to wait for Tenchi.   Ayeka was in the bath next to her.  She too was 
thinking about Tenchi.
"Why do the others think they have a chance?" Ayeka said to herself. "I 
know Lord Tenchi will pick me.  I know I'll prove myself to him.  It is 
after all Destiny"
She was thinking and playing with her right tit as she thought of it.
Mihoshi was thinking about Tenchi and was drinking madly.  She was 
through five or six bottles already.
"Tenchi is mine," Mihoshi said. "I have the jugs.  I have the ass.  I 
have the sex impel that men want.  But more of all, I have… I have," 
Mihoshi took another drink. "I have to throw up."
Kiyone was thinking of Tenchi and was mumbling to herself.
"Ever since I meet Mihoshi.  My live was a living hell," Kiyone said. 
"Once I'm with Tenchi.  I'll dump Mihoshi in a nanosecond.  Let's see 
that slut ruin that."
Washu was in the bath letting Mini Washu A & B to do all the work.  She 
was getting ready for Tenchi.
"Tenchi will be mine." Washu said.
"Too true." Mini Washu A said.
"He's all yours." Mini Washu B said.
"Then he'll choose we to be him," Washu said. "Then I'll have a human 
test subject for as long as he lives.  This may or may not be that 
long."
Ryoko was thinking of Tenchi and the others.  She was a wild woman with 
weird ideas.
"Tenchi is a simple boy with no experience of sex," Ryoko said. "I 
would love to teach him everything I know."
Ryoko decided to play out a seen.  She floated out and formed a second 
of her.
"Tenchi, I knew you pick me." Ryoko 1 said.
"Of course, my sexy Ryoko," Ryoko 2 said. "You are the most beautiful 
woman I have seen."
"You mean it, Tenchi love?" Ryoko 1 said.
"With all my heart and soul." Ryoko 2 said.
"Oh Tenchi." Ryoko 1 said.
"Oh Ryoko." Ryoko 2 said.
The two Ryokos moved close to each other and kissed deeply.  They 
started to French each other lovingly.  As they broke, Ryoko 2 
disappeared.
"Tenchi, you are mine." Ryoko said.

The next day came and the girls were preparing for Tenchi.  Sasami made 
one of her best breakfasts.  Ayeka was wearing her best komodo.  This 
is a traditional Japanese robe.  Ryoko was wearing something revealing.  
Kiyone just waited.  Mihoshi was waiting to eat.  Washu was looking 
around.
"What are you looking for?" Ayeka said.
"Ryo-Ohki.  I haven't seen her since yesterday." Washu said.
"She's probable in the garden." Sasami said.
"I was there.  But," Mihoshi said. "I haven't seen her."
"She'll pop up when she hungry." Ryoko said.
"I hope so." Mihoshi said.
A few minutes of waiting, Tenchi finally appeared.
"Hello?" Tenchi said. "Anyone here?"
The girls ran down to greet him.
"Tenchi, I'm glad to see you." Sasami said happily.
"I'm glad to see all of you." Tenchi said. 'You one last time.'
"So," Washu said. "Are you ready for a surprise?"
"What kind of surprise?" Tenchi asked.
"Well," Sasami said. "We secretly decided to spend one more day with 
you."
"I kind of knew that." Tenchi said.
Everyone was shocked.
"Excuse me, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said. "How did you know that?"
"I guessed." Tenchi said with a false smile.
Ayeka felt confused.
"I guess since it was Sasami's idea," Washu said. "I guess she should 
have the honor of having the day first."
"I see," Tenchi said. "Sounds like fun."
"Plus I'm going to make you something special." Sasami said happily.
They walked off to the main room.  The other girls were jealous.
"Great.  That runt gets Tenchi before any of us." Ryoko said.
"Well it was her idea." Kiyone said.
"I'm hungry.  I'm going to finish the meal." Mihoshi said.
Everyone gave her a dirty and surprised look.  As they started to 
leave, Tenchi walked back in.
"I have something to say," Tenchi said.
The other girls looked.
"Sasami told me that she had some special meal in the making.  Soon 
she'll make her best meal of her life," Tenchi said. "You'll love it."

At the Masaki house, Sasami was sitting on a chair waiting for Tenchi.  
Tenchi was getting ready for Sasami.  He wanted to be prepared.  At the 
front of the house, he peaked into the window at Sasami.
"Sasami, you are so small," Tenchi said. "But in this family, you are 
the most important of all."
He entered with a hidden smile.
"Time to do it." Tenchi said.
He entered the house and start to Sasami.  Sasami was speechless with 
joy.  She had Tenchi's dinner ready for him.
"Tenchi.  You're here." Sasami said.
"Where would you want me?" Tenchi joked.
Sasami laughed.
"So what do you want to try?" Sasami said.
"How about the cookies first?" Tenchi said. "I had a big meal on the 
train."
"Oh alright." Sasami said.
Tenchi smiled.  They made Sasami very calm.  Tenchi sat next to Sasami 
and started to eat with her.  After a few minutes, Tenchi and Sasami 
were full.
"That was great." Tenchi said.
"Thanks," Sasami said with a little burp. "Sorry."
Tenchi walked a way and looked back at Sasami.
"Now that we ate," Tenchi said. "I have something very special for 
you."
Sasami was pleased.
"Like what?" Sasami asked.
"You'll see," Tenchi explained. "It'll be here in a moment."
"Oh…" Sasami said.
Tenchi walked away Sasami tried to figure out Tenchi's surprise.  
Tenchi had been a little edgy with Sasami.  Then it hit her.  Tenchi 
waited to make love with her.  She smiled to herself.  In a few moments 
she undressed and was ready for Tenchi.  Of course Tenchi was watching 
her.  He had his gift ready and was hoping that she would do something 
like that.  Sasami waited for a minute and started to get cold.
"I hope Tenchi hurries." Sasami said to herself.
At that moment, Tenchi walked in.  Sasami saw him and was a little 
scared.  He was wearing a hockey mask and had a big knife in his hand. 
"Why are you wearing that?" Sasami asked.
Tenchi didn't answer.
"Did I do something wrong?" Sasami asked.
Tenchi shook his head.  He raised his hand and made an energy blast 
from one of Washu's inventions.  The blast destroyed Sasami's clothes.
"What was that for?" Sasami shrieked.
"I'm going to kill you." Tenchi said. 
"You're joking." Sasami said.
But he didn't look like he was joking.
"I'm giving you six minutes six seconds and six nanoseconds before I 
attack," Tenchi said. "Go now."
Sasami's heart stopped.  She panic and started to run to the only door 
that was not locked.  Oddly enough, it was the kitchen.  Sasami rushed 
to the exit but it was locked.  She then thought she had to hide.  She 
went to the cabinets but they were all stuck.
'Tenchi must have done this.' Sasami thought in a panic.
She looked around once more for a place to hide.  The only place she 
didn't try was the last place anyone would look.  The oven.  Sasami 
didn't wonder way the oven was open.  She just ran to it and closed the 
door.  Lucky for her it wasn't an oven with a window.  Tenchi entered a 
minute later.
"Sasami, Sasami, where are you?" Tenchi said.
He looked around.
"Are you in the cabinet?" Tenchi said. "Nope.  You're not here either."
Sasami was getting worried.  Tenchi was smart, but he knew that Sasami 
would never hide in the oven.  Or did he?
"My, oh my," Tenchi said. "The oven is unlocked.  I better lock it."
With a flip of the switch, the oven was locked.  Tenchi looked at his 
watch and smiled.
"Sasami, I know you're in the oven," Tenchi said. "You'll be pleased.  
This is an ironic moment,"
Sasami tried begging Tenchi to left her go.  But the oven muffled her 
voice.
"You see.  You're a great cook," Tenchi said. "And now.  You're going 
to be cooked.  You can see this will be your best and last meal you'll 
ever make."
Sasami tried begging and banning but it fell into deaf ears.  Tenchi 
started the gas.  Sasami held her breath.  She didn't want to die.  
Tenchi then turned on the fire.  He made sure that Sasami wouldn't burn 
by coating her with a sauce to protect her and made her taste good.  It 
was getting hotter and hotter.  Sasami tried not to touch was walls.  
Every time she did, she let out a squeal of pain.  She felt her skin 
was cooking.  Everything was cooking.  She let out her breath and 
started to choke.  To her, time passed slowly.  But before she passed 
out for the final time, she had a happy let sad thought.
'This is ironic,' she thought. 'I've cooked many meals.  It's kind of 
good to go this way.  I hope I taste good.  I hope…'
Sasami fainted and minutes later, died.

Hours later, at the house, Tenchi knocked on the front door.  Ayeka 
opened the door for Tenchi.
"Lord Tenchi, back so soon?" Ayeka said.
Tenchi nodded.
"Tell the others to go to the kitchen," Tenchi said. "Sasami's greatest 
meal is done."
Ayeka nodded and rushed to the others.

Moments later, the girls were at the dining room sitting around the 
table.
"I wonder what Sasami made." Mihoshi said.
"Knowing Sasami.  It must be good." Kiyone said.
With that Tenchi walked in with a cart.  On the cart was a sliver pan.  
The smell alone was enough to make the girls' mouths water.
"Ladies and… um… ladies," Tenchi said. "Sasami is proud to introduce.  
A roast in the shape of herself."
Tenchi took off the lid and the other girls were shocked.
"SASAMI?" Ayeka said.
"Nah.  It's only a roast in her likeness." Washu said.
"Oh.  It looks so real." Ayeka said.
Tenchi almost laughed.
"Well?  Dig in." Tenchi said.
"I'm not to sure," Ryoko said. "It looks too much like…"
Ryoko looked at the other girls as they took pieces of meat from the 
roast.
"Oh.  Fuck." Ryoko said.
She too took some of the roast.  So did Tenchi.  Everyone eat the roast 
finding it to be very favorable.

After a few minutes, the roast was gone and only bones reminded.  
Before the girls realized the bones were in the shape of Sasami, Tenchi 
quickly zapped the bones into the mini coffin.
"That was the best meal I ever had." Ryoko said.
"Sasami out did herself." Washu said.
"Next time I see her I'll tell her that it was the greatest meal of my 
life." Ryoko said.
"I know she'll be proud," Tenchi said. "Tomorrow I'll pick my next 
girl.  Until then, good night."
Tenchi left for the main house thinking how kills the other and singing 
to himself.
"Three girls down, one we all ate.  Soon then all will share the same 
fate.  Before they know, I'll be too late.  Because the next girl is 
one I truly hate."

Tenchi: On the next episode, I pick my next victim.  But now the kills 
will be harder to do.  Who'll be next?  I'll give you a clue.  It'll be 
either Ayeka or Ryoko.  Who do I hate more?  Find out.  The next 
episode is: Tenchi's Most Hated.

This is 4 of 11 chapters.  I may be gross but I like it.  Thank you for 
reading.