Onna-Tenchi Muyou! A Tenchi Muyou! Ryou-ou-ki FanFiction By D.F. Roeder *-First posting to the FFML: September 29, 1999 *-Second posting to the FFML: May 3, 2000 *-First posting to GenSao's Tenchi Fanfic Archive: May 17, 2000. *-Maintained on personal website since September 29, 1999. LIME WARNING. There is an almost-reference to an imagined sexual act in this work. ~_^ ----- Acknowledgments ----- Thanks go to T.H. Tiger, Andrew Norris, and Vince Seifert for prereading and discussion. My further thanks to Vince Seifert for his comments and suggestions all along the way and for being an all-around, Swiss Army fanfic knife. ^_^ Thanks to Bert Miller for sticking to his Washuu guns. :) Kudos, as always, to Douglas MacDougall for his excellent and entertaining C&C. Thanks also to D.B. Sommer and Kichigai for the same. ----- Disclaimers ----- Tenchi Muyou! Ryou-ou-ki and its characters are the property of Kajishima Masaki and AIC/Pioneer LDC. This work of fanfiction is for free entertainment purposes only - no compensation has been or will be received. Comments and criticism very welcome. You may email me at dfroeder@flash.net or respond to the post. ==================== Chapter 1 - Nyanniichuan Muyou! (No Need for Spring of Drowned Girl!) ==================== A spray of near-luminous, cherry-colored hair occasionally bobbed as its owner diligently typed away at a holographic laptop computer. Looking over her shoulder, one would see a string of indecipherable numbers and symbols appearing on the ephemeral screen. "Mmmm... cosine... times 13 to the 45th power... tangent to Hrrjkzz's constant times... inverse subspace field constant... multi-dimensional... infinite regression... infinite... infinite... ... ..." *SIGH!* "I am SOOO bored." Hakubi Washuu, the self-proclaimed Number One Scientific Genius of the Universe, glanced at the file heading and winced. "All- Purpose Cultural Day Planner, Universe Edition... Bleah." ~~~~~ In one of her innumerable simulated alien environments, Washuu sat perched on the limb of something resembling a tree, watching little creatures scurry around. Occasionally, a larger creature would pounce and devour an organism somewhat lower on the food chain. "Bleah." ~~~~~ Hanging upside down from little suction cups on her toes, she watched the Masu inside their new tank. The ovoid creatures desultorily floated around, unconsciously mimicking the higher brain of the observer. "Boring." ~~~~~ Washuu swam with a pod of dolphins, but even that delightful experience didn't seem to lift her mood. ~~~~~ "What's wrong with me?" Washuu sat on her floating cushion, back where the string of diversions had begun. She placed one finger of her left hand in her right ear and rubbed her stomach with the other hand, and she began to chant, hoping to locate her elusive center. She lasted about one minute. "ARGH!!!" She threw her arms into the air, quickly slid off the cushion, making it bounce in midair, and walked towards the door. "When all else fails, find some people! Interact! ... Brother, I'm really desperate..." The red crab doorbell clanked twice as the door opened and closed. ____________________ "Ahhh. Just as I thought," Tenchi whispered. The house was empty. He indulged himself in the pleasurable remembrance of how the Masaki residence had come by its calm. Early that morning, Aeka and Ryouko had made some kind of screwy bet with Mihoshi and Sasami (he hadn't actually been present for it), and the Pirate/Princess duo had promptly lost. The worst part was that the losers had forgotten to set the terms of the bet *before* they'd lost. Tenchi had walked in as Sasami pulled Mihoshi into the kitchen for a quick and hushed stove-side meeting. The younger Juraian princess knew she'd never have a chance like this again -- well, anytime soon, anyway -- and had every intention of capitalizing on it. As nice, sweet, and generous as she was, one would also have to include mild deviousness, a sometimes opportunistic sense of humor, and -- more importantly at the moment -- a willingness to make a certain pair pay up. Sasami and Mihoshi emerged from the kitchen with glowing smiles, and Aeka and Ryouko started sweating many, very large drops. They huddled uncharacteristically close together for comfort, temporarily forgetting their rivalry. "Aeka-oneesama. Ryouko-oneechan," Sasami pontificated. "Mihoshi and I, as winners, have decided on what we want." Aeka and Ryouko crossed the fingers on both hands and looked at each other. "Good luck!" they said simultaneously. "You will first take us to Miyatori's for an all-we-can-eat lunch--" "Sasami!!" Aeka screeched. "That's the most expensive sushi restaurant in the district!" "--then," Sasami continued without acknowledging her sister, "you will take us to Okayama Fun World for the afternoon." Aeka and Ryouko sagged, while Mihoshi jumped up and down in delight. Ryouko thought. Aeka added. "THEN, you two will take us to Chez Paul for dinner--" "FRENCH?!?!" Aeka screamed. Ryouko wasn't listening; she was still entertaining visions of a miniature horde on a sugar high. "And FINALLY, to the movie of our choice, with lots and lots of sodas, popcorn, candy, and whatever else we want." Sasami's posture brooked no dispute. Unfortunately, dispute was at the center of everything Aeka. "No! Absolutely not! That's too much, Sasami! No bet worth's that much--" "The OTHER option," Sasami interrupted, with a hard glint in her eye, "is for you and Ryouko to do our chores, in addition to your own, for one month. Also, you will cook all meals and taste-test each others cooking before serving." Aeka paled while Ryouko gagged. They looked at each other, gulped, nodded once, and turned back to the bet winners. "When would you like to leave?" Aeka asked sweetly. "Sushi, did you say?" Ryouko clasped her hands together. Tenchi snickered as the memory ended with Aeka whispering to Ryouko, "How much money do you have?" and Ryouko amazingly pulling out empty pockets where there had previously been no pockets. Tenchi made his way to the top floor and stretched out on one of the oversized, carrot-shaped pillows. He pulled a well-worn manga out of his pocket and sighed in pleasure. "Ranma 1/2: my favorite! Saffron and Phoenix Mountain, here I come." Tenchi became instantly lost in a world of super-powered martial artists and the villains that plague them. In Tenchi's case, life was about to imitate art. ____________________ Washuu walked out of the 'utility closet' and looked around. She strode into the dining room. No one. She peeked into the kitchen, expecting to see at least Sasami. Empty. "Moshi, moshi? Damn, where is everyone? I've got to get out of the lab more often. Should've checked my monitors, too." She went outside and checked the lake, the floating onsen, and the tool shed. Tenchi's tools were there, so he wasn't working the fields. Washuu sighed and plodded back into the house. "Might as well take a catnap." Quiet as a mouse and lost in thought, she climbed the two flights of stairs to where carrot pillows invite weary scientists to snooze. Washuu immediately brightened when she saw Tenchi laid out and reading with his back to her. She softly padded up behind him. "TENCHI-DONO!!" "YAAAAHHH!!!" The manga went flying, and Tenchi rolled off the carrot pillow, clutching his heart with his right hand. *HUFF! HUFF! PUFF!* "WAAAshuu-chan! Don't DO that!!" Washuu was rolling on the floor, howling in laughter. Disgruntled, Tenchi retrieved his manga and sat back down on the pillow. Washuu's laughter slowly wound down, and she climbed up onto the next pillow over. "Heh, do you, heh heh, mind if I join you? Heh." "Errr... no, I guess not." "Thanks, Tenchi! I needed a good laugh." "I would say 'anytime', but..." "Heh, that's all right. Sorry if I scared you... too much." Washuu broke into a wide and crooked smirk. "What're ya doin', anyway?" Tenchi shrugged. "Just reading." "Let me see." Tenchi handed her the manga, and she studied the cover. "Ranma 1/2? What a strange title. Any good?" "Actually, it's hilarious." "Oh? What's it about?" "It's a really *long* story, but in a nutshell, it's about this martial artist with a curse. The curse turns him into a girl whenever he's splashed with cold water. He turns back with warm or hot water. He's also engaged to the kami know how many women, all arranged by his father (who's also cursed, but he turns into a giant panda). He, Ranma that is, also has women who aren't engaged to him chasing him around." "Sound familiar?" Washuu quipped. "Uhhh... maybe. Just a little," Tenchi said sheepishly. Washuu studied the girl on the cover again. "So... Ranma can change his sex with just the application of the right temperature of water? Interesting..." Tenchi bigsweated. "Uhhh, what do you mean by that?" Washuu blinked and looked at Tenchi. A devilish smile grew on her face. "Changing sexes sounds like fun. Does he completely change? Inside and out?" Tenchi's nervousness went up another notch. "Yeah, I, er, believe so. Why?" His voice cracked on the last word. She abruptly changed the subject. "By the way, Tenchi-dono. I could really *use* you in the lab for a little while. *Nooo* one's home. I still haven't gotten that sam--" "AAAH! HAHAHA! Look at the time! HAHA! I promised Ryou-ou-ki some carrots today, HAHA! So..." Tenchi hopped up onto his feet and was running in place. "Ten-chiii! It'll only take a *minute*! I'll put on a different outfit for you." She winked at him. Tenchi waved his hands in front of the scientist. "NOOOO, don't put yourself out-- ERRR, I didn't... Don't take that the wrong way!! AAAAH! Gotta go! See ya!" Tenchi set a personal best getting to the carrot fields. Washuu snickered as she watched Tenchi tear out of the house. "He's so much fun to tease." She picked up the discarded manga, looking at the girl on the cover. "A *complete* sex change with every splash. Sounds like an interesting diversion. Just what I needed to chase away the blues: a redhead. Can't beat 'em!" She stood and walked to the stairs. "Hmmm, simulation based on available morphological information for one Japanese male, double liquid-temperature catalysts..." ____________________ "Hmmm. No. A little more there?" A holographic image of a woman spun slowly over a trio of emitters, bits of anatomy enlarging or shrinking at the whim of the scientist at the controls. Said scientist was deep in thought as she studied the mock-up. Finally, she picked up Tenchi's discarded manga and placed it on a large metal disc, polished to a mirror finish. She punched a button marked "SCAN", and the booklet shimmered for a second. "Cover page? No. Page 1? No. Page 2? No. Page... The girl with the wings is really built, but no..." Washuu continued through the text, until... "Yes!" She touched one of the characters on the holographically displayed manga page, and the figure became highlighted in bright blue. "Load all instances of this character, extrapolate to three dimensions, average, and display." The machine complied. "Ewww." She tapped her finger against her chin. "Okay, modify model to conform to Earth humanoid norm, cross-reference with standards of beauty from same, subindex, um, Japan, and display." Taking a few milliseconds longer, the device generated an altered image. "Better. Hmmm." She tweaked the model's dimensions a little more, drawing on her own knowledge of human standards of beauty. "There! Hey, that's not too bad! Those need to be augmented, though." She tweaked slightly more. ~~~~~ "Hair, hair, hair." One of her crab-leg forelocks waved in front of her eye. "Red! Is there any other color? Take a little of that displaced mass, don't send it to the pocket dimension, yes, yes." Washuu studied the final appearance of her model for a few moments and eventually nodded her head in approval. "Now for the inside. Hee-heeeeee... Let me see if I can improve on Mother Nature just a bit..." ~~~~~ "Default internal structure in place. Now for some adjustments. Hmmm. Increase that response 45%, that bit, um, 55%, and that 35%. Increase number of terminal ganglion clusters to accommodate load increase, yes, yes. Heighten stimulus to those centers when that happens, increase somatic responses accordingly..." She paused and snickered. "Somatic responses, indeed! Let's see, um, yes, yes, yes..." ~~~~~ "A masterpiece! Even if I do say so myself! Now, implementation. Hmmm, kind of tricky, actually. Hmmm, hmmm... Water, temperature, amount... Yes, yes..." ~~~~~ Washuu put the finishing touches on her work and crowed. "YES! This was so much fun! I feel 837.15% better!" She gazed at the big red button that would set everything in motion, and her face fell. "Aw, nuts. I can't do that to him. It wouldn't be a very nice thing to do, and he might never forgive me for it. Oh, well. It was fun to think about, heh." She typed in a file name: Onna-Tenchi. She paused and then grinned, typing 'Muyou!' after it. She cackled aloud at her pun and leaned back in her chair, jostling a piece of equipment behind her. She heard a soft 'plop' and whipped her head around, a terrible feeling gripping her. With a shout of "NO!" she spied Mihoshi's Galaxy Police uniform hat sitting on the auxiliary control console. It had apparently fallen from some precarious perch at about eye-level and landed on the secondary big red button. Washuu's eye twitched, and the surrounding machinery suddenly sprang to life. A disembodied voice announced, "Transformation process engaged." "AAACK!!" Washuu's fingers flew over her own console, trying to halt the procedure. Curious, a cabbit stuck her round around the corner of one machine. "Miya?" Everybody had gone and left her, so she had spent her day nosing around Washuu's lab. A holo-computer panel sprang up, interrupting Washuu's typing, and she read the following line: "Interruption of process has an 86.7385% chance of voiding test subject. Do you wish to cancel the process?" Without even thinking about it, Washuu hit "NO". She put her face in her hands and waited for the procedure to run its course. The machine voice spoke again after thirty-five seconds. "Transformation complete." Ryou-ou-ki jumped up on the console, her long hind feet covering several buttons. "Miya?" "All files, scans, and procedural information for file 'Onna- Tenchi Muyou!' deleted and overwritten per activation of standing security protocols." "BWAAACKK!!!" The universe's premiere scientific genius fell off of her cushion in a faint. Ryou-ou-ki sighed and jumped down. Maybe the dolphins weren't too busy to have some fun. ____________________ It was late in the evening, the girls were still out but expected anytime, and Tenchi was lounging in front of the television, a rebroadcast of some Ranma 1/2 episodes occupying his attention. His day definitely had a theme, it seemed. Tenchi yawned as Ranma got splashed for the umpteenth time. he thought. He stood and stretched, leaving the television on for his father's late news program. "Jeez. Between Washuu-chan scaring me half to death and all the carrot farming I've done today, I'm beat." Tenchi shrugged and headed for the stairs. As he reached the landing, a sudden, tingling warmth and a wave of dizziness washed over him, and he grabbed the banister for support. The front door chose that moment to open, and Sasami ran in, followed by the always-smiling Mihoshi, holding a giant theater soda, and a bedraggled Aeka and Ryouko. "Tadaimaaaa!" Sasami called. The television, having moved on to the end credits, answered her: "Up in blue sky silly blimp go byyy..." "Tenchi-niichan!!" Sasami ran over to the hunched-over young man. "Is something wrong?" The heads of the other women snapped around. "Tenchi!" Ryouko teleported to his side and supported him as he took a seat on the bottom stair. Still wobbly, he hung onto Ryouko to keep from falling over. Aeka and Mihoshi rushed over. Aeka reached him first, and Mihoshi was hot on her heels... for a second. In her haste, she neglected to remember that the foyer was lower than the main floor. She tripped and quickly found inertia and gravity propelling her to the horizontal. She fanned her arms as she fell, and her giant theater soda went flying. Everyone at the bottom of the stairs was drenched as they watched Mihoshi hit the floor. "WAAAAHH!" Mihoshi began to bawl. Feeling suddenly strange again, Tenchi leaned back against the stairs and closed his eyes as the other women sighed and went back to help the crying Galaxy Policewoman to her feet. As a group, they turned back to Tenchi and halted after one step. "'Beep-beep! Beep-beep! This pager's drivin' me cra-a-zy...'" After a few seconds of only music, Tenchi cracked an eye to see everyone staring at him. Without warning, Ryouko powered up her energy sword and glared, Aeka's logs put in an appearance, and Mihoshi pulled her police-issue blaster out of... somewhere and pointed it at him. Sasami looked frightened. Tenchi scrambled back up the stairway a short distance. "WHAT?!" he screeched in a very high-pitched voice. "EEP!" His hands flew to the mouth that strange voice had come from, but before he could investigate further, he found himself staring at the business end of Ryouko's energy sword. "What've you done with MY Tenchi?!?!" Ryouko demanded. "Fess' up, ojouchan, before I stroke you with this!" "Ryouko! I'm-- EEP!" There was that voice, again. "Look here, harridan! Where is Tenchi-sama?!" Aeka was crowding in, and her logs were following. While the princess and the pirate harangued the confused Tenchi, Sasami had been looking at the television, looking at Mihoshi's spilled soda, looking at Tenchi, and back around and around. Mihoshi wasn't entirely sure if what was going on was her fault or not. "Ryouko! Aeka-san! It's me, Tenchi! And what the hell is wrong with my voice?!?!" "Look, you. Tenchi's 100% man! You, obviously, are not!" Ryouko reached down and squeezed a large and well-formed breast. "ITAAAIII!" Tenchi screamed. "That HURT! I don't know what your prob... lem... is..." Tenchi stared at Ryouko's hand still resting on the breast. "Anou... what ARE these?" He reached up and tentatively squeezed the two objects sitting under his shirt. The sensation he received was... unexpected. "AH! KAMISAMA!! What ARE these?!?!" Ryouko rolled her eyes. "They're TITS, you moron, as if you didn't know--" "I know perfectly well what, erm, breasts are, thank you very much, Ryouko! But why do *I* have them?!" "Because you're a girl," Aeka said flatly. "Hey! I'm a GUY, damn it!" "ARGH!!!" Energy crackled all over Ryouko's body. "We're getting off the subject!! WHERE. IS. TENCHI?!?!?!" "I'M. RIGHT. HERE, RYO--" "COOOOLLLL!!!" Sasami had finally put all the pieces together, and her very high-pitched exclamation cut through the argument. Everyone looked at Sasami's wide, smiling eyes. "Tenchi-niichan, er, -oneechan, um...! Anyway, how did you get a curse like Ranma's? Can I get one, too? Gee, what do I wanna be? I'm already gonna be a spaceship, someday, so that's out. Ryou-ou-ki has cats and bunnies covered... sort of. I don't think I wanna be a boy. Hmmm... Magical Girl?" "Sasami! Now is not the time to be acting out your fantasies," Aeka said. "We have a major problem. Tenchi-sama is missing!" "Oneesama! Don't you get it? That," pointing at the girl-apparent on the stairs, "IS Tenchi!" The girls turned and stared at Tenchi, who was, at the moment, feeling all over the strange body under her hands. A look of horror grew on Tenchi's face. "AAAAAHHHH!!!" Tenchi startled everyone by hopping up and running for the restroom, knee-length red hair billowing out behind. The girls followed and found Tenchi staring in the mirror. Tenchi looked at the breasts. Tenchi looked at the waspish waist, the flare of the hips, the firm and well-shaped legs. "Oh, no. I'm... I'm..." Everyone leaned in. "I'm a GIRL!" The women tipped the rest of the way over and face-faulted. Ryouko was the first up, and she looked at the redhead in confusion. "Te-Te-Tenchi?" Ryouko asked in an unsteady voice. "Hai. It's me." "How... how..." "Wait a second, Ryouko." Tenchi closed her eyes with a grimace and slowly, ever so slowly reached her hand down to check... Tenchi's eyes flew open. "WAAAAH! It's GONE!" Ryouko clapped her hands together twice and bowed, silently saying a Shinto prayer. "I, for one, do not believe it!" Aeka voiced in her most regal tone. "You will have to prove it... 'girl'!" Everyone scratched their heads, but it was Mihoshi who came up with the answer. She leaned over and whispered in Tenchi's ear, and Tenchi immediately brightened. "Hey! Good idea, Mihoshi." "Ohhh, it was nothing, really," she giggled while blushing. Tenchi pulled the Tenchiken from... somewhere, and the blade sprang to life. Aeka wilted; Tenchi had provided the proof she'd wanted. "I see," Aeka muttered. "Who would do such a thing to you, Tenchi-sama?" A birdcall washed through the room, and everyone spoke simultaneously. "WASHUU!" ~~~~~ At the unassuming door to Washuu's interdimensional laboratory, all was quiet until the rumbling of many feet rose to a deafening roar, but before anyone could pound on the innocent door, it opened. Washuu looked out bleakly, clutching something in her hand. Everyone started talking at once, but Washuu closed her eyes and raised her hand. The talking faltered and died off, although Tenchi filled the sudden silence. "WASHUU-CHAN!!" she screeched in her sweet voice. "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!" Washuu bowed low. "Gomen nasai, Tenchi-dono. It wasn't intentional." She straightened. "I was just running a simulation, but..." She speared Mihoshi with her gaze. "BUBBLEHEAD over there left her uniform cap in my lab! It *fell* off and started the whole shebang! Even when you're NOT there, you're causing me trouble!" Mihoshi started bawling, and Washuu immediately felt contrite. "S-Sorry, Mihoshi-dono." Tenchi jumped as Mihoshi gathered her up in a hug, easily picking her up off the floor and mashing her face into a generous breast, and started bawling at the top of Tenchi's head. "I'm so SORRY, Tenchi! I can't do anything right! WAAAH!!" Tenchi fanned her arms frantically, but the movement began to slow as her body began to quiver. "Uh... Mihoshi," Ryouko offered, "I think you need to, ah, let her go." The Galaxy Policewoman instantly stopped bawling and peered at Ryouko. "What?" Ryouko pointed down to the limp Tenchi in Mihoshi's arms. "EEK!" Mihoshi dropped Tenchi to her feet, and the brand-new girl actually managed to stay upright, if a bit wobbly. Mihoshi bent down to look her in the face. "I'm so sorry, Tenchi!" "Noooo worries," Tenchi said slowly, slack jawed and eyes glazed over. "I'm just peeeachy." Mihoshi straightened and smiled, resisting the urge to squeeze the redhead in another hug. "Thanks, Tenchi! I feel LOTS better now!" Everyone face-faulted. "So would I, if Tenchi'd done that to me," Ryouko muttered from the floor. Snapped out of her daze, Tenchi crawled to her feet and addressed Washuu. "Can you fix this? Oh, of course you can, hahaha! You're the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Galaxy--" "Universe," Washuu corrected with a glare. "Uh... yeah, heh, the Universe." Tenchi scratched the back of her head, making her breasts bounce... a lot. "Ow. That's uncomfortable." Tenchi grabbed her jiggling breasts with splayed fingers to stop them from moving. Aeka and Ryouko boggled, but Tenchi didn't notice. "Um, about fixing this?" She hefted her mounds, and Ryouko fell over while Aeka blushed and averted her gaze. Tenchi noticed this time and, abashed, she let go of herself. "Ryouko will loan you a bra, Tenchi-sama," Aeka said, still looking away. "I don't wear bras, Aeka," Ryouko smirked. "I'm naturally pert." Tenchi face-faulted. "That's more than I needed to know..." She crawled to her feet. "About this, Washuu-chan?" she said, pointing at her chest. Washuu twiddled her thumbs. "Well..." "YOU CAN FIX IT, RIGHT?!" Tenchi screeched. Her nerves were jangling, and she felt a little out of control. "Of course I can!" Washuu huffed, then deflated. "But it'll take me a while. It, errr, seems all the, um, data was, ah, accidentally deleted and overwritten, but hey! No problem! Just have to wait until I can figure it out again! Right? Right?!" She was greeted with three half-lidded stares and one look of confusion. Sasami was still looking Tenchi over. She figured it would be fun having Tenchi as a big sister *and* a big brother at the same time. Ryouko stepped forward and turned Washuu around, pushing her back into her lab. "Well, get to it!" "Hey!" Washuu objected. "I'm hungry!" "Aeka'll cook you something to eat," Ryouko offered. Washuu's eyes bulged. "Nonononoooo! That's okay! I, er, can dash something together from a replicator. Gah!" Ryouko snorted, pushed Washuu the rest of the way in, and pulled the door shut. Everyone heaved a sigh of one emotion or another, although Aeka glared at Ryouko for the cooking comment. Tenchi slumped over and trudged back to the living room. She fell onto the couch, bemoaning her fate. "I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm--" "Tenchi-oneechan, all you need is some warm water, right?" Sasami suggested. Tenchi sprang off the couch and gathered the blue-haired princess up in her arms. "Arigatou, Sasami-chan. You SAVED me!" Tenchi gave her a big smooch on the cheek, and then stopped. "What did I do that for? I don't kiss people like that." She shakily set Sasami back down. "Boy, don't I know it," Ryouko said in despair. Sasami looked at Tenchi strangely, and then her eyes grew wide. "Maybe it's the curse," she said solemnly. Everyone pondered this, except Ryouko. She gave Tenchi an appraising look that had the new redhead squirming. Tenchi raised an arm and scratched the back of her head again, causing more interesting motions on her front. Ryouko noticed, and her gaze got much steamier. Tenchi gave Ryouko a funny look, and then she looked down at her jiggling chest. She jerked her arm down and crossed it with the other over her attributes, blushing furiously. Aeka felt sympathy for Tenchi. Female royalty shouldn't have to be subjected to... She started, then chastised herself for thinking of Tenchi as anything other than a paragon of manli-- than a man. "What's going on?" Sasami asked, looking around at the various expressions over her head. "Ah! HAHA! I think I'll get some hot water, now," Tenchi exclaimed. She trotted into the kitchen and out of sight. A moment later, otoko-Tenchi walked out. "Well, that was different," Tenchi observed. "It's really weird when you're paying attention." He pulled his black hair around. "And I kept the long hair. Weird." Ryouko floated over. "Is it still gone?" She began to slide her hands down his torso. Tenchi grabbed her hands. "Uh... HAHA! Yeah... I mean, no! It's, um, back." Ryouko and Aeka breathed in relief. Sasami and Mihoshi just looked. "What? Is what back?" Mihoshi asked. "ERRR, ME! Yeah, that's it! I'm back!" Tenchi laughed a little too loudly. Sasami blushed as she finally figured out what they were talking about. "C'mon, Mihoshi-oneechan. I'll fix you a midnight snack," Sasami offered. "Yay! I was getting hungry, again." Everyone bigsweated. "After all that food?" Aeka whispered. Ryouko nodded. "Father's going to kill me when he founds out I hocked that little diamond from Carbilon VII," Aeka complained, "just to buy food for a bottomless pit." Ryouko patted her on the shoulder in sympathy. Meanwhile, Tenchi had slumped back onto the couch and was brooding over his current situation, staring at the knee-length hair he'd piled in his lap. "Do you think it'll take Washuu a long time to fix this?" he asked. Ryouko shrugged. "She really dodged around saying." Tenchi sighed. "What am I gonna DO? I've got school tomorrow!" "Stay dry?" Aeka offered with a faint smile. "In SWIM class?!" "Oh, dear." Aeka fretted, trying to come up with a solution. Ryouko levitated into Tenchi's lap and put her arms around his neck. "Te-nnn-chi. I want you to know that I'm here for you." Tenchi panicked for a second, but Ryouko's words registered and he softened. "Thanks, Ryouko. I appreciate--" Tired from the daylong excursion, Aeka's fuse had shortened considerably. "Monster woman! Are you trying to get MY Tenchi during her, ERRR, his time of need?!" "Aeka! How DARE you insinuate that I'd take advantage of Ten--" "Take ADVANTAGE?! Then what do you call sneaking into her... ARGH! *HIS* room at all hours of the day and night?! Chastity Patrol?!" "Girls--" "Ooo! Listen, Prissy Princess. I'm just letting Tenchi know that if he needs anything--" "I'm sure you'd GLADLY oblige, especially if it means relieving her of her virtue!" "GIRLS--" "VIRTUE!! You're one to talk, Miss Pheromones!" "WHAT?!?!" "'Look at me! I'm innocent and pure! Make love to me, Tenchi!' That's what you are!" Tenchi stared at Aeka in surprise, while Aeka's mouth worked in indignation. Sasami walked out of the kitchen carrying a tray. "I've got tea!" Aeka went purple, and her power logs faded in around Ryouko and Tenchi. Sasami couldn't dodge quickly enough, and she bumped a log with the tray she was carrying. The teakettle hit the rim of the tray and sloshed its contents all over Tenchi. Everyone stopped to look. "At least it was *warm* water," Tenchi quipped. Ryouko rubbed her hand across his damp chest. "I'll help dry you off, Tenchi," Ryouko said seductively. Aeka was about to let loose again when Mihoshi came jogging out of the kitchen. "Thanks so much, Sasami, for replacing my soda-- URK!" Mihoshi planted her face into one of Aeka's logs, and her arms stuck straight out in front of her. Her new soda went flying... onto Tenchi. Ryouko was now rubbing two large breasts instead of a masculine chest. Tenchi's head slowly lolled back, and she started giving off little grunts and groans of pleasure. Ryouko was still trying to take in what had happened and why Tenchi was making such weird noises, forgetting that she was still rubbing. "ACK!! Ryouko-san! WHAT are you DOING, you HENTAI?!?!" Aeka screeched. Ryouko looked at Aeka and blinked. "Huh?" Aeka pointed at Tenchi's chest. Ryouko looked down at her arm still moving on autopilot, "ACK!", then sprang away. Tenchi forced her head up and gave Ryouko a disappointed look. "Oh... huh?" Tenchi examined her body. "YAAAH! I'm a girl, again! How did THAT happen?" "ARGH!" "As to how it happened... guess," Aeka deadpanned. Tenchi closed her eyes and nodded. "Mihoshi-san." Mihoshi was still standing with a face full of power log... snoring. With a disgusted huff, Aeka dispelled the logs, and Mihoshi crumpled to the ground, asleep. Hovering in the air a few feet away, Ryouko found herself having a fast change of heart, sorry she'd sprung away like that. she thought. Ryouko smiled serenely, knowing she could love him no matter what. She floated back down into Tenchi's lap. "It doesn't matter to me what you look like, Tenchi. I'm still here for you," Ryouko cooed. Tenchi trembled in desire. She *wanted* to be touched all of a sudden, oh Kamisama, so much. "Ry-Ry-Ryouko. I-I think you'd be- better le-let me up." Ryouko pouted, but moved off Tenchi's lap and let her rise. Tenchi shakily stood and wandered towards the stairway. "Oyasumi. I think I've had enough for one day." "Oh, Tenchi, you poor dear," Aeka said. "If you need to talk about anything, you know where I am!" She literally sang the last part. Tenchi stopped and, with the others, looked at Aeka, eyebrows raised. "Uh, yeah, Aeka-san. Thanks... I think." With that, she turned and climbed out of sight. "Aeka? What was *that* all about?" Ryouko asked after a few seconds, looking at the crown princess like she was a stranger. Aeka put her hand to her mouth. "I... I'm not sure. I was worried that she might have, um, felt... molested?" "WHAT?!?! 'SHE'?!?!?!" Ryouko was beside herself, figuratively speaking. Aeka put a hand to her forehead. "I find I have a headache. I do not wish to speak of this any further. Good night!" She climbed the stairs to her room. Still fuming a little, Ryouko looked around at the mess while Sasami cleaned. Unsure of what to think or feel at the moment, Ryouko bent down and helped her 'little sister' sop up spilled soda. Mihoshi began to alternate loud 'snorks' with regular snores. ~~~~~ In her lab, Washuu had been watching the proceedings, occasionally falling off her cushion in gales of laughter, despite feeling guilty over what had happened. At the moment, however, she had a contemplative look on her face. "If I read Tenchi right, just now... hmmm. This little accident may actually start a fire or two burning. At any rate, it could be fun; Tenchi doesn't seem to be acting *too* oddly." Shrugging, she went back to her researches on reversing a water 'curse'. ____________________ The alarm clock buzzed, and Tenchi, male this time, groped blindly and shut it off. He sat up and put on a yukata over his T-shirt and shorts. He sleepily wandered out of his room, down the stairs, and entered the bathroom down the hall; he didn't feel like chancing the onsen this morning. After taking care of certain morning necessities, he groggily filled the wash pail with cold water and then sat down on the stool near the furo, facing the door. Sloshing some warm furo water on himself, he scrubbed down for a few minutes, and then dumped the pail over his head, rinsing the suds off. "BRRRRR!" The door to the room opened, and Tenchi's father, Nobuyuki, stood there with his mouth open. "Ohayou, Oyaji." "EEP!!!" Tenchi clamped her hands over her mouth and looked up at Nobuyuki. Her father's jaw was now down to his bellybutton, a thick string of drool hanging out of his mouth and pooling on the tile. Tenchi noticed that she was sitting in a very unfeminine position, legs spread and giving her father a rather unrestricted view of her unmentionables. "Grrr." Tenchi slammed her knees together in a sudden attack of feminine modesty and scooped up a pail of warm water from the furo, dumping it over her head. Nobuyuki promptly fainted, a circle of skipping redheads over him. "Serves you right! Oyaji no baka!" Tenchi crawled into the furo, leaving his father on the floor. After several minutes, Nobuyuki came to and shifted into a sitting position, his eyes blinking. "Tenchi, did you see a gorgeous, um, very healthy, redheaded girl just a little bit ago?" "NO! *I* honestly did not!" "Oh," Nobuyuki said, disappointed. "Hentai. Your own son," Tenchi muttered. "Eh?" "Nothing." Tenchi got out of the furo, his long hair sticking to his body like a cloak. "It's all yours." Nobuyuki nodded and sat down on a wash stool. He stopped and thought for a second. "Long hair?" He rapidly shook his head. "I must've been seeing things." ~~~~~ Breakfast was an odd affair. Tenchi, raggedly shorn of his excess locks, was more silent than usual, and only replied in grunts when spoken to. The girls sneaked surreptitious looks at him throughout the meal. This lasted until a spider made itself known as it crawled across Mihoshi's rice. "EEEEEK!!!" Mihoshi pulled a baseball bat from... somewhere and started clubbing the table and everything on it. Dishes shattered and glasses were dumped, but the spider simply walked away from it all. Ryouko and Aeka glared at her, but the rest were looking at Tenchi, sopping wet and female, with long, brilliantly-red hair. She pulled a noodle out of her ear. Nobuyuki, certain drives overwhelming his powers of observation and his reason, was back to drooling. He suddenly found his face flattened by the only intact plate on the table. Tenchi drew her arm back after the throw, garnering Ryouko's, Aeka's, and Mihoshi's attention in the process. Masaki Katsuhito, Tenchi's grandfather, appeared in the doorway, wondering what all the commotion was about. Tenchi hung her head and rose from the table, slowly backing up towards her grandfather. "I'm going back to bed," Tenchi said. Katsuhito raised his hands, palms up, in order to stop the unfamiliar girl from backing into him. "I just can't deal with school today." Tenchi turned around, and Katsuhito enjoyed the rare sensation of two comfy breasts squishing into his palms. He barely resisted the urge to squeeze. "OOO-HO-HO-HOOOOO! What do we have here?" Tenchi jumped back, crossing her arms over her chest. "JIICHAN!" Katsuhito, hands still out, blinked at the redheaded girl in front of him. "Eh?" "Ooooo!" Tenchi stalked out of the room and up the stairs. Katsuhito lowered his hands and looked at everyone quizzically. "Who was that lovely, healthy young vision of femininity?" Sasami was the only conscious person not trying to pick up their lower jaw. "Ummm... that was Tenchi-nii, er, -oneechan, um..." Katsuhito raised both eyebrows for half a second, and then he resumed his normally inscrutable demeanor. He nodded his head and hummed, and turned and walked out of the dining area. The remaining household went about cleaning up Mihoshi's mess, occasionally stepping on the prone form of Nobuyuki. A polite but firm knock sounded in the hall outside of Washuu's lab. A wary scientist appeared in the door's round window, but her expression quickly changed. "Ah, Katsuhito-dono! Er, you want to know about Tenchi, I take it," she said despairingly. Katsuhito cocked an eyebrow. "Quite." "Please, come in." The handle turned easily, allowing the priest and first crown prince of Jurai entry. ~~~~~ Katsuhito stepped out of the utility closet with a distant look on his face. Hearing the television on, he quickly schooled his features and walked into the other room. Everyone was downstairs. Tenchi had obviously elected to not spend his day off from school in bed, and he was seated a little distance away from the rest, in a position, the priest thought, to avoid unnecessary dousings. He allowed one eyebrow to creep back up at the long, luxuriant hair cascading down the back of Tenchi's chair. Standing quietly, Katsuhito turned his attention to the girls. His gaze examined each of them and finally rested on Ryouko, who was intent on the daytime drama unfolding on the television screen. He allowed the corners of his mouth to turn up a little. As Tenchi would occasionally look over at the others, he noticed that his grandson's gaze would linger slightly longer on the space pirate. Katsuhito finally turned and left the house, heading for the shrine. He sighed. He brooded on the elder of his two sisters as he climbed the stone steps leading to his place of work. ~~~~~ Tenchi was soaking up the relative quiet engendered by his, er, state and was enjoying being able to watch television in peace. At the commercial break, Sasami left the room to get some snacks. Tenchi watched her leave and then returned his attention to the television. A part of him sensed when Sasami re-entered, but he didn't look up. Cold water abruptly washed over him, and a giggling, little blue-haired girl stood there, an empty glass in hand. "Sasami-chan!" Tenchi complained. "That is SO COOL!" Sasami laughed. Tenchi grumped and rested her head on her fist, forcing herself to look at the television and *not* pay any attention to the unmistakable bulges on her chest. Still giggling, Sasami left a drink and some snacks for Tenchi while taking the rest to the others on the couch. "Errr... Tenchi-sama?" Aeka looked a little worried. "Yeah?" "Are you not going to change back?" "What for? Sasami, or someone else, will just splash me again," Tenchi grumped. "Oh." The people in the room grew quiet again as the regular program resumed. Tenchi could feel the girls looking at her from time to time. She shifted her position slightly in order to better see out of the corner of her eye who was looking at any given time. Mihoshi had initially divided her attention between Tenchi and the television, but as the drama picked up again, she was lost to the program. During a steamy scene, Aeka turned and watched Tenchi for a time. Tenchi began to feel a little uncomfortable and started to fidget; she felt like Aeka wasn't sure what to think of her. The current scene on the television ended, and Aeka looked back at the screen. Now, it was Ryouko's turn to stare. If Tenchi had been uncomfortable before, she was now mentally writhing under Ryouko's hot gaze. She could almost feel it caressing her body, but the odd thing, Tenchi observed, was that it was pleasant, in a tingly sort of way. She flicked a glance in the space pirate's direction. Ryouko had one elbow on the arm of the couch, and her hand was against her face as she studied the redhead, her little finger bent and being chewed on. Tenchi was almost sorry she'd looked. She absently rubbed her legs together, feeling the rough cloth of her drawstring pants against her soft skin. She was also feeling decidedly warm. Tenchi exerted some self-control and focused her attention on the television. It was another steamy scene... with two women. Tenchi thought sourly. They were kissing passionately and slowly disrobing each other. The lighting faded until only silhouettes could be seen. The taller woman pulled the other's shirt down over her arms, and she kissed the rise of Tenchi's bare bosom. Tenchi then began unbuttoning Ryouko's shirt, but Ryouko then pushed Tenchi down onto the bed and out of view of the camera. Tenchi's imagination continued on its own, filling in for the missing visuals. Ryouko loosened the drawstring to Tenchi's pants, and her hand slid downward over Tenchi's smooth stomach. Gasping and needy, Tenchi spread her legs, and Ryouko gently touched-- "AAAAAHHH!!!" Tenchi leapt to her feet, panting and staring at a startled Ryouko. "Don't *LOOK* at me like *THAT*! Now I'm all *HORNY*-- MMMRRFFF!!" Tenchi had slapped her hands over her mouth... too late. Everyone else was still confused at her outburst, but Tenchi's eyes bulged as Ryouko slowly smiled in feline satisfaction. ==================== END ONNA-TENCHI MUYOU! CHAPTER ONE NOTE: You may have noted some pinpoint similarities between "Onna-Tenchi Muyou!" and another, rather long Tenchi fic recently posted to rec.arts.anime.creative in multiple parts. If you find this to be a matter of concern, I would refer you to the posting dates listed at the beginning of this fic -- they are instructive and easily proven.