Tenchi Muyo! and it's charachters are the property of Pioneer/AIC. So please don't sue me. I'm broke anyways, so the only thing you would ever get from me is 43 cents, a B/W television, and a 486 computer! Also, feel free to criticize, MST, and all that other crap! It's what I wrote this for, so that fellow readers can crumple it up, flush it down the toilet, go get it at the sewage plant, set it on fire, piss on the ashes, and bury it upside-down! Have a nice day! And remember, the stupidity and OOCness was purely intentional, I want this fic to stink! Well, thats over with...on WITH THE GAWD DAMN FIC! [Stupid 'Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooow, *knock, knock* sound] The master of the Retarded arts proudly presents... Episode ?: NO NEED TO SAY NO NEED, DAMMIT! ++++++++++++++++++ It was the average sterotypical, overly-cliche'd and utterly repetitive day at the Masaki household! The sun was shining, the birds were chiping...it all seemed like a normal day. Or so we think. Tenchi wakes up with a throbbing headache and feels sick. "I'll never touch that "tea" again!". unfortunately for him, this author is going to make his life hell. Just for today though...just for today. Nobuyuki walks in having found Tenchi awake "What happened?! Tenchi said. "Oh well, um....son...we were all blitzed on "tea"...and...well, we all daring each other to do things, and Ryoko dared me to put my long stick in your mouth and take a picture". Tenchi face-faulted "What?!?!?!?!". Ryoko walks in having overheard the conversation. "It's true, Tenchi." Tenchi looks at her in disbelief then his concentration shifts from his father and Ryoko to the door. He then runs out of the room screaming like a little girl! Ryoko looks at Nobuyuki. "What's his problem?" Nobuyuki shrugs. "I have no idea...I told him I put my long stick in his mouth and-" "Wait, you mean bokken, right?" "Yeah...that's what I meant!" Ryoko sighs. "I'll look for him later." "Lets just forget about it." Ryoko nods in agreement. "Oh well." Tenchi stopped screaming and was running downstairs to the kitchen when he ran into Ryo-oh-ki. He stopped and looked at her. he started crying hysterically, and Ryo-oh-ki sweat-dropped. "Ryo-oh-ki, I think I'm going insane!" "Miya?" "Yes, that's right...insane, dammit!!!" "Miya! Miya miya!" "Wait a second, I'm talking to a freakin' cabbit! Arrrghh! I AM going nuts!" Ryo-oh-ki, looking hurt gave out a sad "Miya". "Oh, Ryo-oh-ki! I'm sorry I insulted you!" He hugged Ryo-oh-ki, then he pulled a carrot out of his pocket "Here you go!" Tenchi then got a crazed look on his face, then from out of nowhere...he pulls out a small noose and sets it up on a nail that was "conveniently" right beside him on the wall. He notices that Ryo-oh-ki is almost done eating the carrot, so he picks her up and starts petting her. "Nice cabbit...good cabbit." Then in a quick motion, Ryo-oh-ki is hanging from the noose. She is struggling , but not gasping for air...then it hit Tenchi, and he slapped himself on the forehead "Baka! She's a damn spaceship...I forgot!" Tenchi then pulled an axe out of nowhere (Another co-incidence, maybe? ^_^) and decapitates the struggling little cabbit. He stuffed his hand into the head and used it as a puppet. Laughing maniacally, he chopped up Ryo-oh-ki's body into little pieces and ate them! Looking at the head, he dropped it and went into the bathroom, took a shower, and changed. Tenchi, still thinking about how funny it was killing the cabbit, is also wondering about how he would kill his father for driving him insane. He walked calmly into the empty kitchen where Sasami was already preparing lunch. "Hi Sasami!" Tenchi said with a big smile. "Oh, hi Tenchi! You missed breakfast, you know." Tenchi giggled trying to hold back the evil and crazed laughter that was supposed to come out. "It's ok, Sasami....I already ate." Tenchi answered. "Really? What?" Sasami asked innocently. Tenchi was taken aback by this question and decided to change the subject and try to silence her quickly, and permanently! "Sasami, the flame's too high on the soup!" Sasami turned around and Tenchi grabbed his axe. Unfortunately, Sasami had turned around a split second after Tenchi pulled out his axe. Sasami joyfully said "Silly! the flames not to-ahhh!!!-*Crunch/Splat!*" Tenchi had delivered an overhead blow to Sasami's head, splitting the upper-part of her skull. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed on the floor, dead. He was laughing sadistically at the sight of Sasami's corpse, until he heard a door open. He immediately ran to where the door had opened, and he realized he was heading to Washu's lab. When he saw Washu, he got an idea. He smiled at Washu "Hey little Washu, where are ya heading off to?" Washu raised an eyebrow, seeing that Tenchi actually didn't want to avoid her. Washu stared at Tenchi "Umm...wellll, I heard you laughing like a diseased hyena; so I assumed something was wrong. Is everything okay?" Tenchi suddenly got nervous "Oh yeah, everything's fine!" Washu then gave Tenchi a suspicious look "Are you sure????" Tenchi smiled. "Of course, little Washu." Washu got a mischievious smile "Are you hiding something from me, cause you know i'll-" Washu was cut off as Tenchi quickly kissed her on the lips; both of them blushed a deep shade of crimson. Tenchi's quickly faded away while Washu's still remained and stared at him in shock. "Tenchi...I...I..." Washu said, still quite stunned. Tenchi smiled seductively at her "Why don't we go into your lab where you can take that 'sample' you wanted so bad?" Washu returned his smile and kissed him passionately "And this time I don't think I'll have to tie you to the operating table!". Tenchi suddenly got an idea as he and Washu ran into the lab. Tenchi sat on the operating table "Little Washu, why not change into that cute Nurse's outfit...it's always turned me on." he said, gazing longingly into Washu's eyes. She giggled and moved up close to Tenchi, kissing him once again "Ok, Little Washu will play 'doctor with you, you naughty boy!" She winked at Tenchi and turned towards a door that appeared beside her. Tenchi thought. Washu looked at him and smiled "Don't go anywhere, now!" and with that she went through the door. Tenchi then had set about looking around the lab for a suitable weapon; after several minutes, he found a weapon that resembled Mihoshi and Kiyone's GP Issue blasters. Except that this gun had something that looked like an oversized, reversed fish hook at the end of the 'barrel'. Tenchi took the weapon in his hand and stared at it in awe and stroked the gun lovingly. End of part 1 So, what did you guys think? Send all comments/questions/complaints/marriage proposals/hate mail etc.. to Unknown_099@hotmail.com I thought it was time that Tenchi snapped and went crazy! ^·^