All characters depicted herein are property of AIC/Pioneer.
Chapter 2: No Need For Divisive Circumstances
By Misanthrope

It was early morning at the Masaki shrine and the bite of an
early fall chill gave crisp freshness to the air.  The sun had
risen up over the mountains and was casting rays of light
down upon the bare limbed trees and an endless blanket of
golden leaves covering the ground.  Tenchi Masaki stood
outside his grandfather's shrine holding a firm warriors
stance with his bokken over his head. Tenchi ground his
heel into to the stone walk feeling dry leaves crunch beneath
his feet as he regarded his grandfather.  Katsuhito had just
finished delivering a series of blows at Tenchi with his long
handled feather duster that Tenchi had successfully deflected.
Katsuhito stood in front of Tenchi mocking his grandson's
stance as he held the feather duster over his head, an austere
look upon his face.  "Well Tenchi, what are you waiting for?
Are you going to attack or not?"  "I am not going to attack if
all you have to defend yourself with is that ridiculous feather
duster!" Tenchi sneered sardonically."  "Ahhhhhh, I see."
Katsuhito said humbly as he gave Tenchi a knowing nod.
"And just why is that exactly Tenchi?"  "Because!" Tenchi
began in an exasperated tone, "It makes me feel ridiculous
and I have an unfair advantage!"  "I don't think that is what
is troubling you at all Tenchi." Katsuhito said skeptically.
"Hey!  How would you know what's troubling me, huh?  If
you're so smart, why don't you tell me what's bothering me!"
"Don't think I can't see through your ruse Tenchi,
you should know better than that!"  Katsuhito said
confidently.  "Ruse!?  What are you talking about
Grandpa!?"  Tenchi protested.  "I'm referring to your claim
that you have an unfair advantage.  I don't think that is
what you believe at all, I think you're simply afraid of
being beaten by a ridiculous old man a second time, this
time with a feather duster!" "WHAAAAT!?!?" Tenchi
protested indignantly.  "I'm not afraid of anything! I just
think you're trying to humiliate me!"  "I don't think it's
my fault that being beaten humiliates you so much, you
need to learn to swallow your pride I think."  "Now wait
just a minute, your twisting this all around!  It's not losing
that humiliates me, it's fighting my crazy grandfather who
fights me with a feather duster that humiliates me."
"Hmmmmmmm. . .I see Tenchi, but I still feel that your
afraid to lose to an old man with a feather duster." His
grandfather retorted.  "Fine, let's get this over with" Tenchi
sighed with resignation.  Tenchi gave up trying to overcome his
grandfather's seemingly inexorable desire to spar using a
feather duster.  Not wanting to drag the humiliation out any
longer than necessary, Tenchi moved in first with a blinding
overhand chop that his grandfather gracefully deflected with
the long handle of the feather duster.  Above, atop a long
thick branch of one of the trees outside the shrine, Ryoko lay
quietly with one of her hands wrapped firmly around a branch
just below her.  Ryoko intently watched the pair spar below her,
waiting for just the right moment to strike.  Below,
Tenchi launched a series of attacks that Katsuhito deftly
deflected.  Above, Ryoko tensed as Katsuhito backed up
beneath the branch on which Ryoko was laying as he parried
Tenchi's series of attacks.  "Perfect!" Ryoko hissed in elation
as she snapped the thick branch in her hand with a mere twitch
of her wrist.  As Katsuhito continued to deflect Tenchi's attacks
with his feather duster he heard a peculiar noise just above him.
As Tenchi lunged forward for yet another attack, Katsuhito
hopped backwards forcing Tenchi to try and compensate for the
now extended gap between them.  Tenchi swung wide and the
momentum of his attack caused him to stumble forward.  After
stumbling only a mere two steps a large branch fell from the tree
above and landed on Tenchi's head.  Tenchi immediately dropped
to his knees and placed his hand on the welt already beginning to
grow on his forehead.  "That is your lesson for today Tenchi!
Always be aware of your surroundings" Katsuhito said with
profundity.  "Hmmmm. . .heh, heh. . .well. . ." Ryoko muttered
uneasily beneath her breath, ". . .that didn't exactly go according to
plan.  Ryoko quickly phased to a neighboring tree to avoid being
seen.  Ryoko chose a suitable branch, leaned up against the tree, and
sank down to a sitting position.  "I'd like to go down and apologize,"
Ryoko thought to herself, "but Tenchi would be furious if he new
that was my fault."  Ryoko gave a resigned sigh and faded away.

Several minutes later found Tenchi reclined on the floor of Katsuhito's
office within the shrine with his head resting on a pillow.  "Ohhhhhh. . ."
Tenchi moaned, "I can't believe you beat me with a feather duster."
"Hmmmmmmm. . ." mused Katsuhito, ". . .that's the third time you've
said that since you laid down, you need to learn to accept defeat more
humbly.  Instead of resenting my victory Tenchi, think back and study
how I beat you very carefully so you will not be so easily defeated in the
future.  "How you beat me?!?!" Tenchi scoffed angrily.  "You beat me
with household cleaning supplies, that's how you beat me!  If anybody
had seen that I'd be the laughing stock of the house for months!" Tenchi
wailed in self pity.  "I see. . ." Katsuhito began calmly, "there is still 
no
guarantee that you WON'T be the laughing stock of the house.  "WHAT!?"
Tenchi cried in alarm.  "There is nothing stopping me from telling the girls
how badly I beat you with a feather duster and how sore a loser you have
been, perhaps THAT would convince you to accept defeat more humbly
in the future." Katsuhito stated firmly.  "WHAAAAT!?!?, you wouldn't
dare!" Tenchi yelled in disbelief.  Before Katsuhito could respond there
was a knock at the door.  "Who is it?" Katsuhito asked politely.  "It's
just me, I brought you some breakfast!" chimed an upbeat voice from
the other side of the door.  "Ahhhhhh. . . wonderful." Katsuhito said
pleasantly while sliding open the door.  Sasami bounced in happily
while at the same time trying to hold a tray with a plate of rice balls,
a teapot and a teacup steady.  Sasami stopped abruptly when she noticed
Tenchi laying on the floor with a wet rag pressed against his forehead.
"What happened to Tenchi?"  Sasami asked with concern.  "I heard
Tenchi yelling in here.  Are you hurt Tenchi?" Sasami asked with
concern.  "Only my pride." Tenchi moaned in defeat.  "Ohhhhh. . ."
Sasami replied with a puzzled look on her face.  "If you would just
set that tray on my table that would be fine Sasami" Katsuhito stated,
reminding Sasami of the tray she had brought in.  "Oh yeah!" Sasami
said with a grin"  Sasami set the tray down gingerly and gave Katsuhito
an enthusiastic grin.  "Well, I hope you enjoy it grandpa!" Sasami said
hopefully as she made her way for the door.  Wait just one moment
Katsuhito called after Sasami.  Sasami spun around to regard Katsuhito
and flashed a childish smile.  "Why don't you stay and enjoy a cup of
tea with me?  There is plenty for both of us and I don't think Tenchi is in
the mood for any right now."  "Hey!?!" Tenchi interjected indignantly,
"you didn't even ask m-" he said angrily before being cut off by Katsuhito.
"TENCHI!" Katsuhito scolded.  "Right. . .sure. . .I don't want any, what-
ever."  Tenchi mumbled with resignation.  "Please, sit down and make
yourself comfortable Sasami, Tenchi has a funny story that he would
like to tell you." Katsuhito said with a warm smile.  "Now waitaminnit. . !"
Tenchi snapped with exasperation before being cut off by Sasami, "Alright!"
Sasami said happily as she kneeled down at the table and began pouring
Katsuhito's tea.  "Nowwwww. . . Tenchi, why don't you tell Sasami that
funny story that the two of us were discussing before she joined us."
Katsuhito urged while reaching for his tea.  "Now hold on just one second!"
Tenchi responded desperately.  "I don't know what your talking about, I
don't remember any funny story." Tenchi said resolutely.  "Ohhhhh. . . is
that so?" Katsuhito responded with a shake of his head.  "Perhaps that blow
to the head you received has clouded your memory." Katsuhito suggested.
"Perhaps you would like me to recite my own version of how the events
transpired?  Eh, Tenchi?" Katsuhito asked slyly.  "WHAT!?!  No way, all
right already, I'll tell the stupid story if that'll make you happy!" Tenchi
said in defeat.  Tenchi continued to lay in his spot on the floor with his 
head
resting against the pillow and his eyes covered with the rag.  Katsuhito
patiently sipped his tea and waited.  "So what's the funny story you have
to tell me Tenchi?" Sasami asked in anticipation as she poured her cup of
tea.  Tenchi grumbled slightly and gave into the pressure, "Grandpa and
I sparred this morning."  Tenchi said unenthusiastically.  Silence filled 
the
room once more and Sasami spoke up, "Well, what's so unusual about that
Tenchi?" the young girl asked feeling quite perplexed.  There was another
span of silence before Tenchi spoke up once more, "Grandpa fought with
a feather duster." Tenchi answered in an irritated tone.  "That is pretty
funny!" Sasami said giggling.  "Tenchi!  I don't think the story is quite
finished yet, don't you have something you would like to add?"  Tenchi
sighed, preparing to sacrifice what little dignity he had managed to retain
after his humiliating defeat.  "Grandpa beat me, with the feather duster I
mean." Tenchi mumbled.  "Now that's really funny!" Sasami said in
between fits of girlish laughter.  "I can't wait to go and tell the girls!"
Sasami exclaimed with elation as she hopped up from her spot at the
table and began heading towards the door.  "NO WAIT!!!  Sasamiiii!"
Tenchi called after her in a terrified voice.  "Looks like it's a little to
late for that Tenchi." Katsuhito said humbly, an amused look upon
his face as Sasami burst out the door without so much as a look back.
"Ohhhhhh. . .that's it, my life is ruined, I can't ever go back home again!"
Tenchi groaned, "I'm going to have to go live in the woods.  "Don't be
rediculous Tenchi, I'm sure the girls will find the story quite amusing
and won't give you to hard a time.  Katsuhito said with a smile.  "That's
what you say." Tenchi moaned.

Meanwhile, back at the Masaki residence, Noboyuki was just walking out
the front door on his way to work.  Noboyuki walked down the driveway
towards his parked car while sipping on his mug of coffee.  As Noboyuki
reached the car he turned and gave a pensive glance back towards the lake.
"I wish I didn't have to work on a such a beautiful autumn morn-."
Noboyuki began to say solemly before choking and spitting his coffee out
all over the ground.  Noboyuki stood wide-eyed and aghast as he examined
the wing tip of Youkinojo sticking conspicuously through the surface of
the lake.  "Poooooor Mihoshi. . " Noboyuki said thoughtfully while shaking
his head, ". . .Washu won't be happy about that.  Noboyuki took another
sip of his coffee, opened his car door, and hopped inside.

A short while later as Noboyuki drove through the winding country roads of
Okayama he noticed a tall woman with cyan hair, a flowing blue kimono. . 
.and
tail, walking along the side of the road in the distance.  Noboyuki gave a
dumbfounded, "huh?" and began to slow the car down.   Eventually Noboyuki
slowed to a stop next to Ryoko and honked his horn.  Ryoko spun around
vehemently and stared daggers through the windshield at Noboyuki until
she realized who she was looking at.  Ryoko relaxed her angry features
and walked up to the car and opened the passenger side door to regard
a smiling Noboyuki.  "Going my way pretty young lady?"  He asked
happily.  "I guess I am." Ryoko said as she settled in to the passengers
seat.  Nobuyuki sat staring out the windshield as the hum of the motor
droned on.  "Ummmm. . .are we waiting for something in particular?"
Ryoko asked puzzled, praying Noboyuki wasn't entertaining any exotic
young hitchhiker fantasies.  "Seatbelt?"  Noboyuki asked.  "Oh." Ryoko
said, feeling relieved, "I don't need to wear a seatbelt."  "Now, young lady
don't be silly, EVERYONE needs to wear a seatbelt." "Not everyone can
fly straight through a windshield without breaking it." Ryoko shot back.
"Hmmmmm. . .good point, I hadn't thought of that, I'll make an exception
in your case."  Noboyuki checked his rear view mirror for oncoming traffic,
eased into the gas petal, and swerved back onto the road.  As they drove,
Ryoko stared dreamily out the windshield at the passing bare limbed
trees alongside the road and the dancing flurries of golden leaves being
picked up by the wind.  "Ryoko?" Noboyuki asked thoughfully.  "Yeah,
what is it?" Ryoko responded flatly.  "Well, you haven't even told me
where it is you would like to go."  Noboyuki replied with a polite smile.
"Oh yeah, just drop me off at the best liquor store you can think of that's
on the way to your office. " "Oh, I see what you're up to now." Noboyuki
said as though he had caught a small child with its hand in the cookie
jar.  "Now Ryoko, you're not planning to drink that on your way home are
you?"  "So what if I am?"  Ryoko asked with a shrug of indifference.
"Well Ryoko, I wouldn't want a beautiful young lady like yourself
getting drunk on her way home and possibly accepting a ride from a
stranger.  You might get taken advantage of."  Ryoko turned and leveled
a steely glare at Noboyuki, "Do you have any idea what I would do
if some pervert picked me up on the side of the road and tried to take
advantage of me?" Ryoko asked menacingly, bearing her fangs.
"AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Noboyuki forced a laugh through
clenched teeth, trying to hide his nervousness as his face turned
beet red and perspiration beaded on his brow. Ryoko continued
to stare unflinchingly at the side of Noboyuki's head.  Noboyuki
didn't fail to realize the implications of what Ryoko had just said
considering his current circumstances.  "AH HA HA HA HA!
Noboyuki laughed allowed once more trying to calm his nerves,
I'm sure it wouldn't be pretty!"  Noboyuki responded in an
uneasy tone that he was trying hard to hide.  "That's right." Ryoko
finished with a sly smile and turned her head to regard the beautiful
passing scenery once more.

A few minutes later Noboyuki pulled up alongside a liquor store.
Noboyuki turned to regard Ryoko as she was opening the door,
"Well, it was certainly nice having company along for the ride
for a change!"  Noboyuki said with a smile.  "Uh-huh." Ryoko
responded impassively as she prepared to step out of the car.
"Will you be taking the bus back to the house?" Noboyuki
asked.  "Nah, no money, I'll just fly." Ryoko said pleasantly.
"Huh?"  Noboyuki said dumbly with a flustered look, "how are
you going to pay for you sake?"  Ryoko let out a boisterous laugh,
"Whoever said anything about paying?" She responded
mischievously.  "Oh no!"  Noboyuki wailed with alarm, "I'm an
accomplice to theft!"  "Heyyyyyy!  Not so loud!  You're going
to get me caught before I've even done anyhing!"  Ryoko said with
a scowl before slamming the door.  "Ahhhhh!!!  I gotta get outta here
before we BOTH get arrested!"  Noboyuki cried out with alarm
as he peeled out and sped down the road.  "What's that crazy old
coot trying to do, get me in trouble?"  Ryoko said with agitation
as she watched Noboyuki speed away with reckless abandon.
"Oh well."  Ryoko thought to herself with a shrug as she opened
the door to the liquor store.  Ryoko walked straight passed the
old woman behind the counter and ignored her greeting as she
made her way down an isle to look for sake.  The old woman
gave Ryoko a dirty look and went back to counting out change.
Ryoko strolled the isles until she found the sake.  Ryoko examined
the different brands for moment until she found the most expensive.
Upon finding the most expensive brand, Ryoko began to laugh
wickedly and pulled out a drawstring laundry bag she had tucked
in her sash.  Ryoko then promptly began placing the expensive
bottles of sake from the row on the shelf into the laundry bag
one by one.

Up at the counter, the old woman heard a series of clanks
originating from the isle where Ryoko was "shopping" and
began shuffling towards the noise to take a look.  Once Ryoko
had cleared the entire row of expensive sake she started on
another row.  As Ryoko continued to place one bottle of sake
after another into the laundry bag, she didn't notice when the
shopkeeper shuffled up to stand beside her.  "Is there something
I can help you with?"  the old woman asked in an accusing tone.
Ryoko turned around and smiled at the old woman who was
standing with her arms crossed and wearing a stern look on her
face.  "Nope!"  Ryoko replied with a vivacious smile, all white
teeth and fangs, and  proceeded to cinch the drawstrings on the
laundry bag.  "Have a nice day!" Ryoko said with a wide smile
and in a girlish tone of voice.  "Now you wait just one second. . .!
The old woman began before choking on her own words in
dumb shock as she watched the woman in front of her walk
straight through the shelf in front of them, and through each
sequential shelf until she reached the edge of the store where
she walked straight through the wall.

Later that day, Tenchi was just stepping off the school bus
into the crisp fall air.  Tenchi took a moment to stretch and
take in a gulp of the fresh air to clear his head after another
monotonous day at Okayama High and a long stuffy bus
ride home.  After clearing his head and surveying the view
of the countryside that he didn't ever tire of, Tenchi began
the walk towards his house.  As Tenchi neared the gate
where Ryoko was usually waiting to either greet him or
pounce on him, Tenchi began to sweat nervously and tread
at a more cautious pace.  As Tenchi approached the gate there
was still no sign of Ryoko as Azaka and Kamedaki greeted
him.  "Good after noon Lord Tenchi" Azaka boomed.  "Yes,
good afternoon Lord Tenchi. . ." Kamedaki added, ". . .this is
certainly wonderful fall weather we are having."  "Good
afternoon to the both of you." Tenchi responded pleasantly
as he opened the gate.  Tenchi stared nervously through
the open gate and began to sweat profusely.  Tenchi knew
that if he hadn't run into Ryoko yet, she would most
certainly be waiting to pounce on him from somewhere.
"Is there something troubling you Lord Tenchi?"  Azaka
boomed.  "Yes, aren't you going in Lord Tenchi" Kamedaki
chimed.  "Huh?  Oh, yeah. . ." Tenchi said with a nervous
smile, ". . .just taking extra precautions."  "I see. . ."
Azaka boomed, ". . .may I inquire as to what it is you are
taking precautions against?  You are of the royal family,
and we are sworn to protect you, if there is anything at
all with which we may be of assistance to you. . ."  Azaka
droned on before Tenchi cut him off.  "No, thank you
for you concern Azaka, that won't be necessary, I was
just worried about a possible ambush from Ryoko."
"Ambush?"  Azaka and Kamedaki queried in unison.
"Lord Tenchi, has there been a recent change in Ryoko's
behavior that we should be aware of?"  Kamedaki asked
with concern.  "Oh no!"  Tenchi said with a laugh, "I think
you both have the wrong idea.  A surprise bear hug from
Ryoko is more than enough warrant a great deal of concern
as far as I'm concerned, but when I say ambush you
probably interpret something completely different."  "I see."
Azaka responded in a puzzled tone, "I've never heard of a
display of affection referred to as an 'ambush' before." "Nor
have I. . ." Kamedaki added, ". . . we will remember that in the
future to avoid any potential confusion."  "Ahhhhh, good!"
Tenchi said with a wide grin as he continued to peer through
the gates wearily.  "In any case Lord Tenchi, you have
nothing to worry about from Ryoko." Azaka boomed.
"Yes, Ryoko left early this morning and has not yet returned."
Kamidake finished.  "Oh really!" Tenchi responded
enthusiastically, "Did she say where she was going?"
"None of your damn business!" Azaka and Kamidake
answered in unison.  Tenchi face faulted and a large
drop of sweat formed on his brow as he regarded the
two guardians.  "Did we say something wrong Lord
Tenchi?"  Azaka asked in a puzzled voice.  "That
is where she said she was going Lord Tenchi, did we
perhaps misunderstand her?"  Kamedaki asked.
"No. . ." Tenchi began with a nervous laugh, "I'm
sure you understood her just fine, I'm sure she'll be
back soon."  "Very well Lord Tenchi." Azaka boomed.
Tenchi made his way for the gate and headed for the front
door of his house.  As Tenchi reached the front door he
paused and regarded it nervously.  It is very possible that
Ryoko may have come back to the house through some
other means than the gate Tenchi thought to himself as
he continued to stare at the door.  An image of a short
blonde headed boy with unkempt hair opening the
front door to his house and being pounced on by a
ferocious tiger formed in Tenchi's mind, inspired by
an American cartoonist's material he had gone over
in an art class.  Tenchi replaced him self with the little
blonde headed boy and Ryoko with the tiger and replayed
the image one more time in his mind as he gulped
nervously.  Tenchi turned the door knob slowly and
pushed the door open.  "Welcome home Tenchi!" Two
female voices chimed harmoniously.  Tenchi stood in
the doorway regarding the beaming faces of Sasami
and Ayeka.  Tenchi returned their smiles and opened
his mouth preparing to return their greeting but stopped
with his jaw hanging open as he noticed what the two
girls were up to.  Tenchi looked at Sasami and then
Ayeka, both were dusting the banisters on either side
of the stair case. . .with long handled feather dusters.
"Hey!!!"  Tenchi cried with indignation, "You're mocking
me aren't you!"  "Why Tenchi, whatever do you mean?"
Ayeka asked with sparkling eyes and an innocent smile.
"You know what I'm talking about, you don't need to
rub it in you know, it's already humiliating enough as
it is, grandpa will never let me live that down" Tenchi
responded in agitation.  "But Tenchi. . ." Ayeka went
on innocently, "I honestly don't know what it is that
you're referring to.  Perhaps there is a story you would
like to tell me?"  Sasami began to giggle.  "Alright!
That's it!" Tenchi said in frustration, "I see what you're
up to, I've suffered enough humiliation for one day."
as Tenchi walked between the two girls and up the
stairs with his brief case in tow, the two royal sisters
began to giggle uncontrollably.  "I hear that!" Tenchi
accused without breaking stride as he made his way
up the stairs.  "I can't believe this, it's like I've been
living to be humiliated lately." Tenchi muttered under
his breath.  Tenchi slid the door to his room open and
walked inside, shutting the door behind him.  Tenchi
threw down his brief case and began changing into
his work clothes.

Fifteen minutes later found Tenchi in the fields with a
large basket, busy harvesting another plot of carrots for the
cabbits' insatiable appetites.  Tenchi was pulling yet
another carrot from the earth as he felt something warm
blowing into his ear.  Tenchi instinctively thrust backward
nervously, right into the waiting arms of Ryoko.  "Oh,
Tenchi!  I missed you sooooo much."  Ryoko wrapped
her arms around Tenchi's neck and began to peck him
on the cheek.  Tenchi couldn't see Ryoko's face but he
could smell the sake on her breath.  "Ryoko!  Would you
knock that off, what if Ayeka comes out here and see's
you!?"  Tenchi said accusingly.  "So what if she does
Tenchi?  I want her to see how much in love we are"
Ryoko said passionately while peppering Tenchi's
cheek with kisses.  "Now would you cut that out!"
Tenchi berated, wiggling free of Ryoko's grasp.  "How
much sake have you had already anyway?  Dinner is still
hours away. "  Tenchi said in agitation as he spun around
to regard Ryoko.  "Oh Tenchi, don't be that way, here, take
a sip, it'll. . .help you relax."  Ryoko slurred as she held out
a half empty bottle of sake.  "I don't need to relax!  I need
to get back to work, and I don't want to stumble back to the
house looking like you!"  "What's that supposed to mean?"
Ryoko asked with a puzzled look on her flushed face.
"What do I mean?  Ryoko, your drunk!  You should be
sleeping it off somewhere, not out here stumbling around
the woods!"  "Oh Tenchi!  Please don't be that way!" Ryoko
whined while stumbling forward with her arms outstretched.
"Ryoko, hey!  Waitaminnit!" Tenchi yelled before Ryoko
stumbled into him and they both toppled to the ground in
a heap.  "Now would you cut that out!" Tenchi cried while
trying to pull himself out from under the inebriated pirate.
While Tenchi struggled to free himself Ryoko straddled him,
pinning him in place.  "RYOKO!?!?  You had better knock
that off, this isn't funny!  Let me up already!."  "Tenchiiiii. . ."
Ryoko cooed, ". . .just relax."  Ryoko buried her face in
Tenchi's chest and moaned happily as her arms slid underneath
his shirt and along his sides.  Tenchi's face turned beet red and
he began to sweat profusely as he struggled to get free, "Ryoko!
Would you please pull yourself together.!" Tenchi pleaded,
horrified of the pirate's intemperate behavior.  "Just one sip
Tenchi!  Please, for me?" Ryoko pleaded.  Tenchi looked into
Ryoko's shining amber eyes, they stood out against her flushed
face and seemed to coruscate as they silently pleaded with him.
"Alright, alright, I'll drink some. . .but only if you let me up
and promise to behave Ryoko!"  "Tenchiiiiii!!!" Ryoko cried
gleefully as she began to pepper his face wth kisses once more.
"Ryoko!  We have a deal, now cut it out!"  "Tenchiiiiii. . ."
Ryoko whined as she gave him a hurt look.  "Come on Ryoko,
do you want me to have a drink or not?"  "Oh all right!" Ryoko
chimed in a girlish voice as she clumsily tried to push herself up
off the ground.  Tenchi slid out from under Ryoko and hopped
to his feet to help the drunken pirate the rest of the way up.
Tenchi reached down, grabbed Ryoko's wrists and pulled her
to her feet.  Once back on her feet Ryoko immediately fell
forward and wrapped her arms around Tenchi and began pecking
him on the cheek.  "Ryoko, if you go back on your end of the bargain
then I'll go back on mine!"  Ryoko pulled away and gave Tenchi
one last pained look before her face brightened once more as she
reached down and grabbed the bottle of sake.  When Ryoko raised
back up she swayed back and forth precariously a few times
before Tenchi took the bottle away.  Tenchi regarded the bottle
with apprehension before Ryoko began to goad him, "Come on
Tenchi, take a big ol' pull."  "Alright, alright, here I go." Tenchi
said with a sigh before taking a big swig.  Tenchi winced from
the burn and his face flushed as he swallowed the acrid liquid.
"There ya go Tenchi, now that wasn't so bad was it."  Ryoko
said reassuringly.  "Now come on, take one more big gulp!"
Ryoko goaded boisterously.  "Come on Ryoko!  Wasn't that
enough, I've got work to do out her ya know!"   "Come on
Tenchi, don't be such a bore, just one more sip, for me?"
Ryoko pleaded, regarding Tenchi with her sparkling amber
eyes.  Tenchi sighed in defeat and took one last pull before
handing the bottle back to Ryoko.  "You remember what
I told you about us drinking sake together, don't you Tenchi?"
Ryoko asked in a low passionate voice as she flashed Tenchi
a seductive smile.  Tenchi stood perplexed for a moment
before it dawned him what Ryoko was referring to.  Tenchi's
face flushed and he began to sweat profusely as he looked at
Ryoko nervously.  Ryoko brought the bottle of sake to her lips
and stuck her tongue out and began to slowly lick around the
lip of the bottle.  Tenchi grabbed the back of his head nervously
and looked all about the fields to make sure they weren't being
watched by any unwanted spectators.  "Uhhhhh. . .Ryoko. . ."
Tenchi stammered.  Ryoko locked eyes with Tenchi and
continued to lick around the rim of the bottle of sake as she
moaned slightly.  "Come on Ryoko. . .is that really necessary"
Tenchi continued to stammer nervously, unable to break away
from Ryoko's hypnotic gaze.  In response, Ryoko tilted her head
back and lifted the bottle well above her mouth.  Tenchi swallowed
a lump in his throat as Ryoko stuck her tongue strait up in the air
and began pouring the sake down her throat while her free hand
rubbed her chest.  Tenchi felt his knees growing weak as he
continued to stare at Ryoko, unable to so much as blink as
he stood entranced.  One last drop fell from the bottle into
Ryoko's waiting mouth and she tilted her head back down and
leveled another seductive gaze at Tenchi as she opened her
mouth slightly and licked her lips and fangs.  Tenchi stood
hypnotized as Ryoko began to stride towards him secuctively.
As Ryoko strode closer, Tenchi could feel his heart pounding
and the sweat streaming down his brow.  "Uhhhhhh. . .Ryoko?"
Tenchi said nervously as Ryoko came to stand in front of him,
her amber eyes enticing him hypnotically.  "Uh. . .Ryoko?"
Tenchi stammered uneasily as he tried to take a step back,
only to find that his feet had no intention of obeying his
command.  "Oh Tenchiiiiiii!!!! Ryoko finally squealed as she
wrapped her arms around him and brought her face uncomfortably
close to his own.  "Ryo. . .uh. . .uh. . .Ryoko" Tenchi stuttered.
Before Tenchi could utter another syllable Ryoko locked her
lips on his own and stuck her tongue in his mouth with a
passionate moan.  Tenchi's knees began to quake as he felt
Ryoko's tongue enter his mouth and his eyes snapped open
wide as he froze like that proverbial dumb ass deer in the
middle of the road.  Tenchi felt Ryoko's hands that had been
clasped around his neck slide across his shoulders, down his
sides, and then up his back.  Ryoko began to playfully glide
her nails up and down Tenchi's bare back as he twitched
involuntarily.  Tenchi stood frozen stiff and terrified as he
felt the ardent pirate's tongue probe his mouth and her fangs
brush his bottom lip.  Tenchi tried to take a deep breath so he
could regain control of his body but Ryoko's face was pressed
so close to his own that he could hardly get any air.  The urge
to run continued to flood Tenchi's mind, fueling the growing fear
that paralyzed his entire body.  As Tenchi's body continued
to pump adrenaline, Tenchi finally felt something snap as
his whole body tensed just before he exploded into motion,
pushing Ryoko away and running back towards his house all
in one swift movement.  Ryoko stood frozen and in shock as
she watched Tenchi run as though the devil himself were
baring down upon him and gaining ground.  As Tenchi
completely disappeared through the trees, Ryoko went
limp as a rag doll.  "What got into him?" Ryoko
said dumbly with a wide eyed look of shock as she
continued to stair to the patch of forest where Tenchi
had disappeared.  Ryoko stood in the middle of the
carrot patch swaying back and forth under the effects
of the sake as she tried to push the haze away and think
clearly about what had just happened.  Ryoko couldn't shake
the look that Tenchi gave her as he pushed her away, a look
of utter horror.  "Tenchi. . ." Ryoko whispered sadly
under her breath.  Ryoko shook the image of Tenchi's
face as he pushed her away out of mind and reflected on
how he had gawked at her as she tried her best to entice him.
Ryoko wrapped herself in a tight embrace and smiled
smugly as she thought back to the vulnerable look on his
face as she embraced him.  "Oh, Tenchi. . ." Ryoko cooed
passionately, ". . .what are you so afraid of?"  Ryoko
continued to rock back and forth as she embraced herself and
reflected warmly on the feeling of her lips pressed against
Tenchi's.

Back at the Maskai household, Tenchi stood outside, leaning
against the house next to the front door gasping for breath.
As Tenchi stood trying to regulate his breath in an attempt
to prevent himself from hyperventilating, he thought
back in wide-eyed terror to the moment when Ryoko had
stuck her tongue in his mouth. The feeling of those
pointy fangs rubbing against his lips horrified him.  Tenchi cursed
himself in frustration for allowing the situation to escalate
as far as it did.  "Ahhrrrrr. . .!" Tenchi growled under his
breath,  ". . .why did I let her manipulate me like that!?"
Tenchi convinced himself that if he hadn't been such a
pushover and drank the sake then
none of the whole mess would have happened.  Tenchi
tensed in terror as he considered Aeka.  Tenchi disgustedly
assumed that if Ayeka had caught Ryoko with her tongue
down his throat while they both stood next to an empty
sake bottle, that she would think they had simply gone out to the field
to get drunk and neck.  Tenchi chastised himself further
as he considered how Ayeka would have felt, he knew
that he would never be able to forgive himself or Ryoko
if she had seen that.  Tenchi pondered why it was that
he didn't push Ryoko off before she had a chance to grope
him and stick her tongue down his throat.  Tenchi shook
his head angrily and growled under his breath, "It was
that damn sake, that's the last time I'll ever let her pull
a trick like that on me again."

Tenchi walked into the house and began to head up stairs.
"Tenchi?" Ayeka's voice called from behind him.  Tenchi
turned around nervously to look a concerned Ayeka in the
eye.  Tenchi braced himself for the worst while clinging to
the hope that Ayeka had not made a visit to the field during
his exchange with Ryoko.  "Uh. . .yes. . .Ayeka?" Tenchi
asked weakly.  "Tenchi, what on earth happened, you look as
though you've seen a ghost."  "Oh."  Tenchi chuckled
nervously, "It's just been a long day, I'm tired that's all.
"I saw you run back to the house, are you sure nothing
unusual happened?" Ayeka asked with skeptical concern.
Feeling fairly confident that Ayeka hadn't seen what went
on between himself and Ryoko he composed himself to put
Ayeka at ease, "Ayeka, really, I'm fine, I was just in a hurry
to get back, I want to take a bath and I'm really looking
forward to dinner" he said smiling.  "Very well then. . ."
Ayeka said, relaxing somewhat, "perhaps when you're finished
with your bath we can enjoy some tea together." "I'd like
that." Tenchi confirmed with a nod before turning and trotting
up the stairs.

Meanwhile, beneath the stairs, or more appropriately, through an
entrance into pseudo space under the stairs, a dripping wet
GP space cruiser hung suspended mid-air in the middle of
Wahsu's lab.  Beneath the Youkinojo, Mihoshi stood staring up
and sniffling occasionally.  In a voice choked with emotion
Mihoshi queried the girlish scientist on the state her ship, "So. . .
Washu. . .*sniff*. . .what's the diagnosis. . .*sob*. . ."  "Definitely
D.O.A.!" Washu said enthusiastically in a high pitch girlish tone
of voice as her fingers danced nimbly over the keyboard of her
holo-computer.  "D. . .*sniff*. . .*sniff*. . . D.O.A.?"  "That's right!"
Washu said exuberantly.  "Well. . .what's that mean???"  Mihoshi
sobbed.   Washu abruptly stopped typing and her face faulted and a
large bead of sweat formed on her forehead.  "You sure you're
a galaxy police officer?"  Washu asked skeptically.  "Well of
course. . ." Mishoshi began between sobs, ". . .where do you
think I got this thing?" Mihoshi finished pointing up at the
Youkinojo.  "Well. . ." Washu began grudgingly, ". . .you're definitely
not clever enough to steal one of these things so I guess you're telling
me the truth."  "So. . .so. . .*sniff*. . .what's D.O.A.?" Mihoshi asked
nervously.  "Dead On Arrival!" Washu said with a beaming smile.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Mihoshi sobbed as rivers of tears
began to stream from her eyes.  After sobbing uncontrollably for a
few minutes while Washu continued to analyze data, Mihoshi finally
managed to speak up, "*sniff*. . .Washu?"  Mihoshi asked hesitantly.
"What, you're still here, can't you see I'm busy, why don't you go
play outside or somethin', yer buggin' me!" Washu said in irritation
without taking her eyes off of her holo-computer.  "Can you. . .*sniff*-
. . .*sob*. . .can you bring Youkinojo back?" Mishoshi stammered
nervously.  "Hey, don't forget who your talking to here!" Washu was
quick to remind Mihoshi.  "Now, did I say that I would fix this soggy
hunk of junk or not?"  Washu asked, quickly losing what little
patience she had for Mihoshi.  "Well, yes Mihoshi began. . ." before
being cut off by Washu.  Washu spun around to face Mihoshi with
one hand on her chest and the other pointing straight up at nothing in
particular as she posed as though about to address a crowd, "I'm gonna
build a new and improved Youkinojo!  A Youkinojo that's Mihoshi proof!"
Washu beamed proudly.  "Do you know what that would be!?!?"  Washu
asked enthusiastically, her green eyes sparkling childishly as she regarded
Mihoshi.  "Uhhhhh. . .well. . .Little Washu. . .gosh. . .ummmm. . .no. . .
what would that be?" Mihoshi asked hesitantly.  Washu clasped her hands
together tightly, brought them up to her face and leaned her head on them
as her brilliant green eyes grew even larger and seemed to shimmer with
pride, "ONLY THE GREATEST SCIENTIFIC ACHIEVEMENT EVER!!!"
"Oh I see. . .Mishoshi said confused. . .I'd better go."  Washu resumed her
stolid stance in front of the holo-computer as she continued to analyze data
on the Youkinojo, "Yeah, you better get out of here, you bother me,
beat it."  Washu said impatiently.  "Ohhhhhh. . .thank you Little Washu"
Mihoshi chimed happily as if all her problems had been lifted from
her shoulders.  Mihoshi spun on her heel to leave and promptly fell
face first to the floor.  "Owwwwwwwww. . ." Mihoshi moaned.
Washu's face faulted and a bead of sweat grew on her head as she
continued to analyzed data.

Later that afternoon, Ryoko was floating back towards the house slowly
and unevenly as she drunkenly swerved from side to side phasing through
trees.  "How can continue to delude yourself this way Ryoko?"  An unseen
voice said with a sinister, throaty laugh.  Ryoko dropped to her knees,
immediately donning her combat suit and drawing her laser sword
as she spun about trying to locate the source of the sinister voice.
"KAGATO!" Ryoko hissed as she continued to spin about wildly
looking for the sinister malefactor.  "Now Ryoko, is that anyway to
go about greeting such a near and dear 'friend.'" Kagato asked, hissing
the last word "friend" with a sardonic sneer.  "There will be no need
for any of that Ryoko."  Kagato said casually as Ryoko's laser sword
dissipated from her hand and her battle suit dematerialized, leaving her
naked.  "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU BASTARD!?!" Ryoko
screamed in rage.  "Now please Ryoko, there is no need for such
a dramatic display, I simply want to speak with you.  A little small
talk and catching up on old times between two near and dear "friends."
Kagato sneered sardonically once more.  Powerless, vulnerable and
Exposed, Ryoko kneeled down and wrapped her arms around her
knees, covering herself and continuing to scrutinize her surroundings
for Kagato.  "I've been watching you very
carefully Ryoko. . ."  "HOW!?!?"  Ryoko interjected in rage, "I saw
you killed!!!"  "Ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Kagato laughed
derisively.  "I'm disappointed in you Ryoko!  You are far to
confident in that. . .boy. . .and have far to little faith in my
resourcefulness."  "WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME
IN PEACE!?!" Ryoko pleaded in rage and frustration.  "You belong to
me Ryoko, you will never be rid of me for as long as you live, and
I will be around long after you've shed off this mortal coil."  Kagato
said in a throaty whisper before mocking her with a contemptuous
laugh.  Ryoko couldn't stand so much as the thought of being
vulnerable in the face of Kagato, but there she sat, curled up on
the ground, exposed and powerless.  Ryoko clenched her jaw in
rage, trying to maintain her composure and keep the unbridled fear
rising within her at bay.  Ryoko struggled in vein as tears of
fear and rage escaped through eyelids drawn tight.  "There is
no need to try to hide your feelings from me Ryoko, you might
as well except your fate and let all that emotion out, after all
it's not healthy to keep that stuff bottled up. . .you should no
that very well by now."  Kagato hissed sneeringly.  "After all,
if you didn't retain that foolish pride of yours, you would have
long ago gotten down on your knees and begged that ridiculous
boy to so much as give you the time of day." Kagato said derisively.
"How dare you!?!?" Ryoko cried indignantly.  "AHHHHHH HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA" Kagato bellowed. "DON'T
MAKE ME LAUGH RYOKO!  You can't really believe a squalid
'creature' like yourself is actually capable of a pure emotion like LOVE do
you!?!.  Don't delude yourself Ryoko!  You're nothing more
than one of Washu's flawed scientific experiments.!"  Kagato
berated with enmity.  Ryoko began to shudder violently as she
tightened her grip around her knees and began to dig her nails into
her legs until they drew blood.  "Now come Ryoko, there is no
need to torture yourself that way, just accept what it is you are,
and who it is you belong to."  "HOW DARE YOU!?!?" Ryoko screamed
in rage as she struggled to hold back to the flood of tears pouring
from her clenched eyelids.  "Ryoko, it is pointless to try and hide
your emotion from me, go ahead and except your defeat and let it
all out."  "NEVER!!!"  Ryoko cried in defiance.  "It makes no
difference Ryoko, you can't hide your feelings from me, I can
FEEL your rage, I can SMELL your anguish and I can TASTE
your fear, AND IT'S WONDERFUL!" Kagato sneered mockingly.
Completely vulnerable and with what little nerve Ryoko had
left worn away by Kagato's endless torrent of psychological
absuse she completely broke down into an undulating, sobbing,
heap, face down on the ground.  Ryoko opened her mouth to cry
for Tenchi but found that she could not vocalize any sound.
"I know what you're trying to do Ryoko, but I'm not ready just
yet to deal with the boy.  But rest assured, I will." Kagato hissed
sneeringly.  Ryoko opened her mouth in rage to curse Kagato
but found that still not so much as a sound came out.  "Quit
wasting your breath Ryoko!  It won't make any difference."
Kagato assured Ryoko with a sinister laugh.  "Even if you
could call for that boy Ryoko, do you really think it would
make a difference?  You can't really believe that boy
would be willing to risk his life a second time on your behalf?"
Tears continued to flow from Ryoko's reddened eyes and
down her tear stained face as she sobbed in complete silence.
"That boy has far too much at stake to risk his precious life
for you, he's of the Jurai Royal Family, he is to ascend the
throne and take Princess Ayeka's hand in marriage, you
can't truly believe he actually wants you to be a part of
his life."  Kagato scoffed derisively.  Ryoko squirmed
in anguish upon the ground, in horror as Kagato verbally
picked her life apart one piece at a time.  "You saw the
look on the boy's face after you kissed him Ryoko, you
can't really harbor the delusion that he might actually
have any feeling's toward an ignominious creature such
as yourself.  Kagato scoffed with a contemptuous laugh.
Do you think a member of the Jurai royal family wants a
Drunken, ignoble creature such as yourself drooling all
over him.  You saw the look in his eyes Ryoko, he was
horrified, he would never allow himself to be sullied by a
sordid and detestable creature such as your self.  He is a
man of finer tastes, you and I both know he desires
her royal highness's pure heart." Kagato said
sneeringly.  Ryoko continued to lay on the ground
shuddering violently, her eyes wide open and staring
blankly.  "It should seem clear to you by now that a boy
such as himself could never be interested in a reprobate
such as yourself, you're nothing more than a burden to
him.  But, because you have so deluded yourself into
believing that you truly love this boy, I will give you the
opportunity to protect him." Kagato stated in an arrogant
tone.  Suddenly the life sparked back into Ryoko's eye's
in response to Kagato's offering.  "What are you talking
about!?"  Ryoko hissed, realizing her ability to speak
had returned.  "Before I elucidate my plans for you my
Ryoko. . ." Ryoko cringed as Kagato referred to her as
though she were a piece of property, ". . .I want you to
realize and understand just how much my pawn you have
become." Kagato said in a sinister tone.  "Had I wanted,
I simply would have assumed control of your body, and
taken what I needed from the boy." Ryoko grimaced as
Kagato nonchalantly made reference to his absolute power
over her very own body.  "However Ryoko, after being
locked away in these accursed gems for this long, I am
desperate for entertainment, and watching you tie yourself
in knots trying to protect your "loved one" would amuse me
greatly!"  Kagato exclaimed with a grating, derisive laugh.
"What. . .what are you talking about. . .in the gems?" Ryoko
stammered in horror.  "I'm disappointed in you Ryoko, I
thought you were smarter than that!  Haven't you figured it
out by now?  Didn't you find it odd that even with your
keen hearing and warrior's instinct you couldn't pinpoint my
location?  Can't you feel my voice reverberating in between
those pretty temples of yours Ryoko!"  Kagato yelled with
a contemptuous laugh.  Ryoko's face wilted as she considered
the implications of what Kagato was telling her. "No. . .
it can't be. . .it's impossible. . .how?"  Ryoko stammered in
disbelief.  "Come now Ryoko!  You should know well by
now that where I'm concerned NOTHING is impossible,
no goal unreachable, no circumstance beyond my ability to
mitigate!  You belong to me Ryoko, you surely couldn't
have believed that you could so easily be rid of me.  It was
a simple task after assuming control of your powerful gems
to transfer my essence within them after Tsunami's
unexpected retaliation.  My body was, after all, nothing more
than a vessel for my immortal and eternal essence Ryoko.
Ryoko's body went limp with defeat in response to
Kagato's words.  "It is now your duty Ryoko, to extricate
yourself from this fallacy you consider a family so that
you may do my bidding in defense of the life of your
"loved one" Kagato said sardonically.  "DON'T YOU DARE
HURT MY TENCHI!!!" Ryoko screamed.  "AHHHHHH
HA HA HA HA!!! He was never yours to begin with you
inane creature, get that through your head!"  Ryoko rose
from the ground and clenched her fists in rage.  "No harm
need come to your 'true love' if you do exactly as I say
Ryoko." Kagato said flatly.  "But understand this, my home
is the gems now,  their power mine to wield, you've
already experienced my power over you, and you only have
one of the gems. . ." Kagato trailed off in an ominous tone.
Ryoko's eyes widened in terror as she came to understand
what Kagato was insinuating.  "Imagine the power I have over
the individual who is custodian of the other two gems" Kagato
said as he slipped into gleeful fits of maniacal laughter.

Meanwhile back at the Masaki household, Tenchi reached
into one of the drawers of his desk to pull out something
wrapped in a towel.  Tenchi removed the towel from the
sparkling hilt of the Tenchi-ken and regarded the pommel
and the two brilliant gems set within.

misanthrope32@hotmail.com