Disclaimer: "I hate these things! All I have to say is don't sue me. The original Jurai Invaded was a Tenchi OVA + Duke Nukem + Half-Life + Parasite Eve crossover, and the revision shall remain just that." ______________________________________________________________________________ "Quotation Marks" = out loud speech * Asterisks * = thought ______________________________________________________________________________ Prologue... In the year 1995, a boy name Tenchi Masaki has defeated the evil Z in combat, and decided it was time for him to ascend the Jurai thrown, and marry. Out of the whole bunch, he chooses Sasami. Come on, she's adorable, and she can cook! Aeka and Ryoko were so heart broken they became best friends and lovers as well. Mihoshi didn't give a rat's ass because she doesn't even understand what love is. Washu somewhat devastated joined the Black Mesa Crew, and provided them with her superior technology. Eventually, she became the president. As you can expect, Azusa wasn't too happy with Tenchi and Sasami's marriage, so he fled the planet, thinking of a scheme for revenge. In the year 2030, a man named Duke Nukem defeated The Cycloid Emperor. After his victory, he spent his time at the strips club in Los Angeles. He was all good and happy until one day... "You should join us, you would make an excellent alien patrol soldier." Says Mr. Blackstone. Author's note: Mr. Blackstone is the G-Man from Half-Life. "..........................." (Duke ignores him as he plays a game of billiards) The G-man is annoyed, so he yanks Duke's stick out of his grasp, and breaks it over his knee. This catches Dukes attention... Duke is showing a massive scowl. "What the fuck do you want?" Blackstone replies. "I want you join the Black Mesa's alien patrol unit." "Why the Hell should I do something like that?" Asks Duke. Blackstone replies again. "I was given specific orders to recruit you from Black Mesa President Washu, who seems to like you quite a bit." "Washu huh? I've heard she's a fine piece of ass." Says Duke. The G-Man sighs. "I wasn't going to say that, but you may have a point. Anyway, she wants you to come to the Black Mesa Facility and meet her." "Fine, I'll do it." All the sudden a 5-man gang attempts to rob the bar. They are all armed with Mp5s, except the front man. The front man has a Remington M1100 compact. "Give us all your guns, ammo, and cash!" Says the front man. Duke steps up to the gang. "I say Hell no. Why don't you get your asses out of here before I break them." Duke then pulls out a gold-plated Desert Eagle .357 magnum pistol, and the gang points their guns at Duke... "Five on one, it looks like you're screwed buddy." Says the gang's front man. Duke grins. "Really?" Before the gang can get off one shot, Duke blows their heads off with his powerful magnum... Blackstone smirks. "You're definitely the type of man Washu likes." Duke scowls. "I'm the type of man every woman likes." Two days later at the Black Mesa Facility, Duke finally gets to meet Washu... "Hello Duke Nukem. I am Washu, president of Black Mesa." "And you're mighty damn fine to boot." Washu blushes bright red. "Oh Duke, you flatter me so much." Duke smiles evilly. "You and me both baby" ______________________________________________________________________________ Jurai Invaded (v1.2) A Tenchi Muyo! OAV, Duke Nukem, Parasite Eve, and Half-Life crossover Chapter #1 ______________________________________________________________________________ By Ultima Trev Setting: Planet Jurai, the year is A.D. 2031. A certain Jurai king and his wife are watching the News about a neighboring star system being overrun by the Xen... "This is awful!" "I only wish there were something we could do." Meanwhile on the Cycloid planet, The Cycloid Emperor is sitting in the throne room watching the news as well... "Looks like my cousin Ninalithe has his work cut out for him. That must be 12 star systems he has in his possession now." Author's note: In the original, the Cycloid Emperor and Ninalithe were brothers. The phone rings and one the butler picks it up. "You have reached the Cycloid Emperor's residence, may I ask who is calling?" On the phone is Ninalithe. "This is Ninalithe, I wish to speak to my cousin." The butler brings the phone to the Cycloid Emperor. "He claims to be your cousin, Sir Ninalithe." The Cycloid Emperor yanks the phone from the butler's grasp. "Hello?" "Mr. Cycloid, I assume you've been watching the news." The Cycloid Emperor grins. "Long time no see cousin, how has it been?" "Horrible. I was trapped in a black hole for over thirty years." Says Ninalithe. "I've heard you were imprisoned courtesy of a mere human." "Well, Gordon Freeman is no mere human. Luckily, he has been kidnapped, so it's all good!" "Not really, we have bigger fish to fry." "What do you mean?!" "Come to my palace at once Ninalithe, I'll fill you in on the details." Later at the Jurai Palace, Tenchi and Sasami are watching the news about the Xen and Cycloid Empires merging into one large SUPER EMPIRE... "Great, as if they didn't have enough power ALREADY!" Says Tenchi. "Perhaps one day we will be able to avenge the loss of our neighbors..." Says Sasami. On the News, a reporter is interviewing Ninalithe. "Now Ninalithe, what are your plans now that you've combined to form one huge empire?" "Our final goal is to capture Earth, but in the meantime we have other things to do. For one, we have named this empire the 'Empire of Death.' We have also knighted a new general. This general is aching to have revenge on a certain Jurai Emperor. Allow me to introduce General Azusa." Azusa steps up to the reporter. "I hope you're watching this Tenchi Masaki! The Empire of Death's next target is none other than Planet Jurai! There I will rip your heart from your chest with my bare hands. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Sasami begins to cry. "Father, how could you do this?" "I'm sorry Sasami, I too thought your father was more sensible than this." Says Tenchi. The next day... "Miss Washu, Empress Sasami of Jurai wishes to speak to you." Washu switches on the speaker phone. "Hi Sasami, long time no see." "Washu, we are under attack!" "When was this?" Asks Washu. "Didn't you watch the Galaxy Police News yesterday?!" Questions Sasami. "No, I was tied up in my work." "Washu, we need your help. Millions of troops are down here killing the men and forcing the woman to work as sex slaves..." Sasami then gets cut off. Washu then gets serious. "My God, I have to do something!" Several minutes later... "Duke Nukem, I have called you here because I have appointed you the leader of Operation Jurai. Do I make myself clear?" "Hell yeah. I'm gonna make those alien bastards pay, AGAIN." * His words are so bold and daring I can't control myself! * Washu then blurts out words of romance, or something like that. "Oh Mister Nukem, you make me tingle all over." Nukem then grabs Washu and locks her in a passionate kiss... "You are without a doubt the sexiest man I've ever known." Says Washu blushing a bright red. "Damn right baby!" They weren't alone, several Black Mesa staff members laughed their asses off at the scene... Washu is irritated as you can imagine. "Hey, get your sorry butts back to work!" Washu then whispers in Nukem's ear. "As for you, I'll see you tonight. In bed!" "Hell yeah baby!" Meanwhile in Space, the Empire of Death's military was moving towards planet Jurai. Azusa is making a small speech. "Today is the day we over take those worthless Juraians and declare ourselves as the most powerful military force to ever live! Death to Jurai, glory to the Empire of Death!" The Xen and Cycloids were cheering on. "Death to Jurai! Death to Jurai! Death to Jurai!" The next day, Jurai was completely under control of the Cycloid Emperor and Ninalithe. Tenchi was locked up in a cell, while Sasami was forced to work at a topless bar courtesy of the Cycloid emperor. Tenchi was handcuffed to the chains on the wall. "My wife, my empire, all have gone to waste." The Pig Cop watching the detention block was letting in a visitor. It was none other than Azusa... "What the Hell do you want?!" Asked Tenchi with a scowl. Azusa grins. "It's time for revenge, great grandson." Azusa then puts on a pair of brass knuckles. Tenchi then whines like a baby. "Oh my God, please don't it! I don't wanna die!" Azusa frowns. "It's too late for that you coward. If you had not married any of my daughter you wouldn't have to worry about this." Azusa thinks to himself. * Then again, I would probably would have done this anyway. * Meanwhile in a topless bar. Those rat bastard aliens are having fun watching adorable Sasami being forced to bear her innocence. "Fuck me now baby!" Says a Pig cop. "Mmm, look at that fine piece of ass." Says a Gargantua A Xen Master replies. "Damn right." A Cycloid Enforcer tries to impersonate Yoda. "Tasty looking, she is!" Sasami thinks to herself. * SOMEBODY, HELP ME! TENCHI, RYOUKO, ANYBODY! * Meanwhile in the Jurai throne room... "It feels so good to conquer other planets, wouldn't you agree?" Asks Ninalithe. The C. Emperor replies. "Yes, all we have to do now is find you someone who has the power to fulfill your evolution." A Cycloid Assult Captain enters the room. "Sire Ninalithe, there is someone here to see you." "Who is it?!" Asks Ninalithe. The Assault Captain replies. "She claims to be Eve." "That's impossible!" Claims Ninalithe. "Eve lost her life against some whore named Aya Brea. Who ever it is must be full of it." Says the Cycloid Emperor. "Send her in anyway" Says Ninalithe. "I want to see who would have the nerve to to pull such a prank." "Yes sire." Says the Assault Captain. Ninalithe and the Cycloid Emperor's eyes widen when they see it really is Eve, and even more so when they see she has a guest with her..... "Long time no see my dear Ninalithe." Says Eve. "Eve, I thought you were dead, and who's that?" Asks Ninalithe. Eve replies. "Our son, the Ultimate Being." "I see, so I'm a father." Says Ninalithe. "Now son, why don't you go check out some of the strip clubs that your immature 2nd Cousin has established while us adults talk business." Says Eve. "It might be a good way for you to understand your father and 2nd cousin's absurd culture." The Ultimate Being bows his head. "As you wish mother." As soon as the Ultimate Being leaves the throne room, the adults discuss business... "So dear, have you found the specimen needed to help complete your evolution?" Asks Eve. "Not yet, but we have received word that Ryouko is on this planet." Says Ninalithe. "My men are questioning the females at the strip clubs." Says the Cycloid Emperor. "They should find her very soon." "Sir, we have apprehended Ryouko!" Says a Battlelord as he burst through the doors. The Cycloid Emperor grins. "Like I said." Ryouko is being held down by two Pig Cops. "Let me go you perverts!" "Ryouko, you are the one I've been looking for." Says Ninalithe. "Shit, this is the ugliest thing I've seen yet." Says Ryouko as she glares at Ninalithe. "SILENCE!" Shouts Ninalithe. Ninalithe fires a ki blast to knock her out, now merging with her shouldn't be so hard... "This is the moment I've been waiting for, the moment I become a supreme being!" Now back to the Black Mesa Facility... Washu hands a clip board to Duke. "Nukem, here is a roster of the alien patrollers who will be assisting you in this mission." ______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Buzz Freeman (Son of Gordon Freeman) Age: 25 Height: 7'3" Weight: 363 lbs Weapons: BFG 10K, M16 w/ integrated Grenade Launcher, lead pipe Other: Well rounded in the area of breaking people's necks. Has the strength of ten men. Name: Herbert Shepard (Son of Adrian Shepard) Age: 28 Height: 6' Weight: 181 lbs Weapons: Gluon Gun, M40 Sniper Rifle, broad sword Other: Has eyes as precise as a hawk, best sniper we've ever seen. Name: Joe "Freak-Master" Calhoun (Son of Barney Calhoun) Age: 24 Height: 5'10" Weight: 158 lbs Weapons: M249 SAW gun, rocket launcher, ninja sword Other: Has a corpse paint fetish, lead singer in a Black Metal band. ______________________________________________________________________________ "I just hope they've been trained well. If not, this is gonna be a short ride." Duke then pulls out his gold plated Desert Eagle .357 and examines it. This baby has a 4x zoom scope, laser sighting, and uses armor piercing magnum rounds, AWESOME!! "How long is it 'til we go to Jurai and make those alien bastards pay?" Washu replies. "Soon..." End of Chapter #1.