Disclaimer: Pioneer owns these characters. I'm just  playing around a
bit.

BUT! Riko is mine, and Devon Kane belongs to Kenn Sprinkle.

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First Knight

Side Story: Nobody Understands...

Brian Burke
Tenchii@hotmail.com
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	Nobody understands how I feel. How could they? What they know about me
is what I've told them. I know they don't trust me as much as they
should. How can they?  When I first landed here, three years ago, I told
them everything they needed to know about me.

	Which, in my opinion, only scratched the surface.

	They don't know that every time I see him, my heart breaks. So, as I
give him advice, I'm pushing him away from myself. I know it's for the
best, but it still hurts to do that.

	Maybe I should just steal him away. Forget Ayeka. Forget Ryoko
and...Sasami...

	'I am Sasami Jurai Masaki.'

	Those words. Spoken ages ago. By my own mouth. If I did steal him away,
I would be hurting her. My sister. My younger self. Not to mention I
would have four girls running after me.

	No. I must say goodbye. I have to. It's the only way to be free. The
only way I can start anew. Otherwise, I'm only hurting myself.

	So, as I teach him, I also push myself away, knowing that it will never
be again. I had my chance. But, a twist of fate pulled me away from the
man I love.  My Tenchi. Had he gone, would it be the same? Would I still
feel so bad? 

	I would like to say no, but I know better. I know that nothing would
change. I would still be without Tenchi, and I would still be in pain.

	Still, I do love Tenchi. Whether it's mine or theirs. The only
difference is that the Tenchi I instruct is more of a family member than
a lover. I have no wish to change that anymore. My desires still run
deep, but I know I cannot act on them.

	I would be hurting her, otherwise.

	I have about as much wish to hurt her, my eleven year old sister, as
Ryoko does in giving up her gems. But, by protecting her, I hurt myself.
By helping Tenchi, I hurt myself. By giving the girls what they want, I
am denied what I want.

	Maybe I need to change that. Maybe I need to move on. Maybe I should
look at my options. Maybe... Maybe I should get off my ass and do
something about it.

	Then, there's my little angel. Riko. She's so kawaii, I could just
burst into tears. Mommy hasn't seen her yet. I wonder how she'll react
to being a grandmother?

	Probably kill both of us in a fit of happiness.  In my world, little
Riko would have been the Crown Princess of Jurai. Had my 'wonderful'
father gotten his rear off the throne.

	I still can't believe what he pulled. A year after the second Kagato
incident, he sent some assassins to Earth, in search of Tenchi. They
were going to kill him and bring my sister and I back to Jurai.

	That didn't go well with me. My feelings weren't as strong back then,
as I was only nine years old. Still, I had a bit of a crush on him, and
didn't want to be separated from him.

	The battle was brief, with Tenchi proving his worth. After I found out
who sent those people, I never wanted to speak to my father again.

	As for the Azusa of this dimension, I feel no differently. I know what
he'll try. I know he'll send his assassins. For that fact, I want
nothing to do with him.

	He'll never understand. None of them will. They will never understand
how I feel.


~fin~